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S2 Ep8 Finding Purpose and Overcoming Compassion Fatigue_ A Conversation with Juliet Watt
61 Plays11 months ago
In this episode of Dial It In, hosts Dave Meyer and Trygve Olsen sit down with Juliet Watt, an inspiring author, TED Talk speaker, and compassion fatigue advocate. Juliet shares her incredible life journey, from being a former Playboy Bunny to becoming an expert in compassion fatigue. They discuss the concept of compassion fatigue and its relevance in today's world, where people often hold differing beliefs and are constantly stressed and guarded. Tune in to gain insights on how to navigate compassion fatigue and find ways to grow your business amidst the challenges of the modern world. Don't miss Juliet's book, "In Between the Magic, My Life from the Playboy Club to Beirut and Beyond," available on Amazon.
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Dial It In Podcast is where we gathered our favorite people together to share their advice on how to drive revenue, through storytelling and without the boring sales jargon. Our primary focus is marketing and sales for manufacturing and B2B service businesses, but we’ll cover topics across the entire spectrum of business. This isn’t a deep, naval-gazing show… we like to have lively chats that are fun, and full of useful insights. Brought to you by BizzyWeb.
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Website: dialitinpodcast.com
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Transcript
Introduction to 'Dial It In' Podcast
00:00:05
Speaker
Welcome to Dial It In, a podcast where we talk with interesting people about the process improvements and tricks they use to grow their businesses. I'm Dave Meyer, president of Busy Web, and every week, Trigby Olsen and I are bringing you interviews on how the best in their fields are dialing it in for their organizations. So, Dave, hey, good morning. How are you, bud?
Introducing Juliette Watt and Her Expertise
00:00:25
Speaker
Good morning.
00:00:26
Speaker
Do you remember the TV commercials that Dosakis used to do about the most interesting man in the world? Yes, I do. I am pretty sure that they are autobiographical and it wasn't a man as much as it was the most interesting woman in the world and I have found her. I can't wait, yes.
00:00:48
Speaker
I had been researching a topic called compassion fatigue and I found somebody who's an expert in it and who has just had the most amazing life. So our guest today is Juliette Watt. She is an inspiring author, writer's guild award winner. She has been nominated for a daytime Emmy. She was a former Playboy bunny and she is a compassion fatigue advocate and an animal rights advocate.
00:01:17
Speaker
as well as being a TED Talk speaker. And I is the author of a book available on Amazon called In Between the Magic, My Life from the Playboy Club to Beirut and Beyond. It is one of the most wild reads that I've ever seen. It's truly amazing. Hi, Juliette. Thanks for joining me. Good morning. Thank you for having me.
00:01:42
Speaker
I had this really grand idea that we were going to have this really nice business related podcast. And so I asked if you joined the show and then you sent me some of your materials and then there's layers upon layers upon layers upon layers. So let's save the good stuff for later and talk about the book later because everybody needs to go out and buy the book immediately because it's on Amazon.
00:02:07
Speaker
But what I wanted to start with is talking about what is compassion fatigue and why is it relevance? And so I think from a level setting standpoint, what
00:02:18
Speaker
I've experienced in my job, and I think everybody has sort of experienced is more than likely half the world is, doesn't believe what you believe. And they don't like you because you don't believe what they believe.
What is Compassion Fatigue?
00:02:30
Speaker
And everybody is entering the world like this, and we're all extremely guarded, and we're all extremely stressed. And as a result, we are all a little bit strung out, which means that we're a little short, we're a little angry, and we're not our best selves.
00:02:45
Speaker
Yeah, I think we're plenty angry and we're plenty short and we're not our best selves because we don't feel good. And I say we, and I use that in the, in the British world sense of the term, I'm fine.
00:02:58
Speaker
because I kind of get it. I get what's going on and I have gratitude that I don't have to spend the next 40 years doing, you know, coping with this. But yes, it's very sad what's happened. And I think, um, I think we've become the diversity started a while ago, not that long ago without going into depth. I think we had a change of monarchy here and all of a sudden life changed and,
00:03:25
Speaker
Before that, it was slightly, I think 9-11 was actually a tipping point, really, in my opinion. But yes, everybody is angry because, and they don't know, here's the deal. They don't know why they're angry. And I find that quite fascinating. They don't know why nothing is enough. You know, and I tell everybody, listen, you know, I'm taking the Ricky Gervais point on this. You're going to die.
00:03:53
Speaker
And it doesn't matter. Just, you know, have fun today because tomorrow it might all be over. We are all going to die. And people get really upset with that. They go, why do you talk about death? It's terrible. It's not a terrible thing. It's going to happen, guys. And let's have fun.
00:04:11
Speaker
So I told my wife, hey, I was going to meet this expert on compassion fatigue. And my wife is a school counselor, high school counselor. And she was like, oh, yeah, no, I know all about that. And then she proceeded to work on it. So I know all about it, because my wife told me so. And there was a quiz. But for our listeners, can you talk a little bit about what exactly is compassion fatigue? It's a real thing, and it's a real issue for a lot of people.
00:04:39
Speaker
It's an insidious syndrome that creeps up on you. The basic definition of it is you have lost yourself in who you've had to become or who you've chosen to become for everybody else. You have gone. Your identity, your everything about you, you've lost yourself. And it usually happens when you're looking after a loved one that's perhaps elderly, that's perhaps ill, terminally ill, Alzheimer's, dementia, or
00:05:09
Speaker
You have a child that's physically challenged or your school teacher or a nurse or an EMT or everybody who is in the business of giving care.
00:05:21
Speaker
every day. That's what they do. And we as humans are not built
Personal Stories and Impact of Compassion Fatigue
00:05:27
Speaker
to tolerate that kind of stress at all. Nurses learn it. Nurses choose it. But nevertheless, like during COVID, that was too much. It was like you dumped everything on top of these poor folk and they couldn't cope. There was a lot of suicides. There was a lot of
00:05:45
Speaker
alcohol and drug abuse because they're trying to numb the pain of the misery of the life that you suddenly find yourself in. When it comes to being a nonprofessional, then it's even worse. I mean, there you are, for instance, at home and you have an elderly parent or you have someone who's sick at home, right? And you're having to administer drugs. You're having to give them their medication. You're not a doctor. You're putting, you know, you may have to give something by needle.
00:06:14
Speaker
Then the stress of what if I do it wrong? You have sacrificed who you are. Your dreams, your hopes, your job, everything becomes secondary to the person you're looking after. Or in my case, my mother was perfectly healthy. There was absolutely nothing wrong with her, but she had attached herself to me like a leech.
00:06:37
Speaker
And I was her life. Everything about me was my mother's life. I didn't have my own life. Thus, I didn't have my own identity. Thus, when she died, I went into a chronic PTSD situation that I had to have immediate therapy for and help. Because I was on the way down the black hole, didn't know why. Because I'm a pretty cheery, chipper person. And that all went away. So my mother had drained me. And I'd spent all those years
00:07:08
Speaker
Being nothing. And that's what happens. Compassion fatigue is basically trauma. You are traumatized. And it is really that, if that makes sense to you guys. Absolutely. And it's not just a physical. It's like you start out with your mother. It's mentally breathtaking with people. Yes. My mother was a narcissist and everything had to be done for her, with her.
00:07:37
Speaker
Everything that was adverse was done to her by mean people. Everybody else was to blame. She was faultless. And with narcissism, it's another devious thing that usually happens. It's in here somewhere because we're not taught how to take care of somebody.
00:08:00
Speaker
a parent or someone older than you. That's not what we're here for. I didn't choose my parent. I didn't choose to take care of her. But the narcissism that she had was what's called covert narcissism. And that is when it's the victimization. Look, you have to look after me. If you go out and I don't know where you are, well, then something might happen and it goes on and on and on. You know what I'm saying, right? Where she says,
00:08:27
Speaker
What do you want for dinner? And she, you know, she knows exactly what she wants for dinner, but she's not going to tell you because you're right. And my mother, just a quick, funny story. My mother used to have this terrible habit of telling me that she was going to commit suicide because she was in England and I was in America. I'd done my best to kind of put some distance here. Forget about it. There's a telephone. Good day. Grab the phone, you know? And she would constantly tell me I'm going to commit suicide. And she said, I'm going to put my head in the gas oven.
00:08:56
Speaker
Well, then in England, they did a very smart thing. And I don't remember exactly the time, maybe in the eighties or, yeah, it was in the eighties. They made the gas in the gas, those non-toxic. And so I said, well, mom, there's the gas stove out. You better kind of think of something else because that's not going to be, I had to, I had to make it funny. I mean, really, you know.
00:09:21
Speaker
What are some of the symptoms, some of the symptoms that people get when they can recognize having this sort of fatigue and then losing themselves? Yes. Fatigue, chronic fatigue, a lack of caring about yourself. Hence, you don't care how you look. Your weight usually goes up or down. Start drinking a bit too much.
00:09:50
Speaker
taking that odd, you know, sleeping medication a bit too much. You start distancing yourself from other people, you isolate, and that's a really, really,
00:10:02
Speaker
very prominent thing that isn't recognized by anybody else, but you isolate. You don't want to go out. People say, well, you want to come out for a drink? We'll come out. No, I'm good. Thank you. I've got to look after mom. I've got to look after dot, dot, dot. Then that which is killing you becomes the excuse for you continuing to sink further into the compassion fatigue vortex. Does that make sense?
00:10:26
Speaker
Absolutely. And you completely isolate. You don't care what you're wearing and you disappear.
How to Prevent Burnout?
00:10:34
Speaker
And I've had, because I do a lot of coaching and I've had a lot of clients say to me, you know, I don't know who I am. And I go, well, who were you? Because you're that person. Who were you when you were 14? Oh, I was da, da, da, da. And they go on about all these different things and what they want it to be. And I said, well, how about we start from there? You know,
00:10:53
Speaker
This was done basically to you because, you know, we have this sense of duty, don't we? We have to, I mean, if somebody needs your help, well, we have to go and help, even if it's detrimental to ourselves. No one says no. No one knows how to say no. I do. I'm no problem with that.
00:11:11
Speaker
Yeah, I find in my life, and I've said this, I think I probably even said this today at one point. I said, I have four main roles, husband, father, son, and employee. At any given time, I'm doing one of those badly.
00:11:25
Speaker
You're not doing it badly. It's too much for you. It's too much. That's what the problem is. You've taken on too much as to have everybody else. And I don't do that anymore. I used to, and I know exactly. Yes, you are titled all those things, but you come first. You yourself come above all of them. And isn't that shocking? You know what I mean? When I said that in the tech talk, 3,000 people went silent. Your children come second. Oh my God. It was as if I said, go home and kill them all.
00:11:56
Speaker
But you do come first because what use are you, if you're depressed, if you're drinking, if you're unhealthy, I mean, what use are you to anybody? You've got to put yourself first and they all come after you. And if they need you to do something that is adverse to you or is going to really, you don't want to do it, don't do it.
00:12:20
Speaker
Well, that checks out in real life to Juliet because even like when you're getting on a plane, they say if the oxygen mass drops down, you have to affix yours before you take care of your family. That's a great example, Dave. Brilliant, brilliant example.
00:12:36
Speaker
So as we look at this for compassion fatigue, and again, our audience is generally business folks, how do you handle folks? Like, can you spot compassion fatigue in your team or in people that you know? And how do you recommend that we go about either helping others or raising our hands ourselves if we know of compassion fatigue in the workplace?
00:13:00
Speaker
Well, those are two very good questions. First of all, we have to care. We have to care about our coworkers. We have to pay attention. You know, is so-and-so who's always been kind of chatty and pretty vibrant, they're getting quiet. Are they, are they getting, staying at work too long? Are they staying late, consistently? Do they look like they're maybe not taking care of themselves so well?
00:13:28
Speaker
is, you know, when you ask them how they are and they tell you they're all right, you can really feel it. I mean, we're very instinctive. We've almost lost that, but we're animals, let's face it. And they're instinct. You can feel if you're a sensitive, empathic person, you can feel in another human if something's off.
00:13:46
Speaker
And take them for a cup of tea. Take them for a drink. Say, listen, you're not feeling like you normally do. Want to have a chat? And you'll be surprised just that one act of kindness, which is another thing that's missing. An act of kindness. Keep an eye on your fellow workers and just pay attention. Get out of yourself. Give.
00:14:10
Speaker
go and and and if you do feel that strain of work and if you do feel that you're getting overloaded go and do something where you're giving to somebody else which sounds go volunteer at an animal shelter at a anywhere go do something for somebody else don't do a soup kitchen deal right absolutely yeah but you have to get out of yourself you have to get out of yourself
00:14:34
Speaker
and pay attention to what's going on around you. And that's how you care for your fellow worker. I believe that's what I would do. I'd go, oh, so-and-so doesn't look right today. I wonder. And they'll vehemently deny it, of course. But then if you care and you're kind, you'll find somebody suddenly burst into tears. And all of a sudden, there you have it.
00:14:57
Speaker
to open up to other people. People don't want to go up and go, listen, can we chat? They don't do that anymore. They did years ago, but they don't do that anymore because no one's supposed to see anybody else in pain because, or suffering, because they may lose their job. The boss may think, oh, they're not confident because they're having troubles. You know what I'm saying? Teachers to talk about teachers for a minute.
00:15:27
Speaker
I interviewed quite a bunch of teachers and asked them if I could possibly understand why they had compassion fatigue and they said, nope, we're not telling you because if we tell you we have it, we will be fired. We will be considered
00:15:47
Speaker
Inact at our job, same with nurses. I had one nurse tell me really on the QT and only because she was my friend that she dealt with 14 drug addicts an hour and seven days a week. She was in Newark, New Jersey. And she said, I can't tell you that on the record. I'll be fired. And teachers were my real eye opener. They refused to speak. Yeah. Teaching is no longer, it is no longer teaching. It's customer service.
00:16:17
Speaker
So my job, I'm head of sales at Busy Web, so my job is to help fix a problem. So, you know, Juliet, we need to build you a new website. Here are the reasons why. Let's talk one-on-one.
00:16:32
Speaker
What we're asking teachers is essentially to do my job, but not do it one-on-one, but do it with 30 people, all of whom have people behind them who will then tell you how you're not understanding how their one particular individual needs aren't being met.
00:16:49
Speaker
and how bad you are at your job because you haven't helped them achieve their dreams, even though the individual person hasn't done any of the work or actually hasn't engaged with you in any sort of way. Exactly.
00:17:04
Speaker
Exactly. My mother came to my school one time, one time, and that was only because she was summoned by the principal, and all he wanted to do was tell her how useless I was. In math particular, there was no hope for me in the real world. I could never, never hold down a job. I was useless. I was too noisy. I was too dramatic. I was too this, too this, too this.
00:17:26
Speaker
And my mother said, well, she's autistic. And this was one of those times, you know, as a lot of our narcissists do, suddenly they'll show this amazing side to themselves. And she said to the principal, she said, well, my child is autistic. So to hell with you walked out. That's the only time my mother ever had anything to do with my education.
00:17:44
Speaker
She never came to the school. I walked to school. I walked home alone. I mean, I watched these parents going at school as much as their damn kids interfering. And that didn't happen when I was a kid. You went to school and that was, you were going to school. Parents didn't go to school.
00:18:06
Speaker
One of the things that I think a lot of times, if you're in a service-based business, you get clients, everybody wants to have
00:18:17
Speaker
a relationship-based business. When you see this all the time, I read websites all the time and people say, oh, you know, a difference maker for us is our relationships. And I think that's certainly true at Busy Whip too, you know, who we are as people matters.
Balancing Roles and Personal Well-being
00:18:30
Speaker
And so as a result of that, I think, you know, we come to an agreement, we say, okay, here's the work we're going to do for you. And then we're going to keep doing this every month. And then sometimes people get what I call a case that the cancer adjusts.
00:18:43
Speaker
Oh, can't you just do this? Can't you just do that? It's so simple. Can't you just do it? And that's corporate narcissism. It's a microaggression of I want, I'm wanting, even though we have a clearly defined relationship, I want a little bit more. Give me a little bit more. I don't want to pay for it. I want you to give it to me.
00:19:08
Speaker
That's right. And yes, yes, these people that work 14 hours a day by choice, I don't get it. Those remaining however many hours after eight, they don't get paid for. Why? Well, I've got to get my work done. Why? Get it done when you get it done and well, I'll get fired if not. And they're usually right. And that's a, that's a tragedy. What's happened?
00:19:36
Speaker
You mentioned you're an expert at saying no to people, which I think is clear after 20 minutes of recording. What are some ways in which people can politely take back their own identity while also creating a boundary?
00:19:51
Speaker
Well, really think, yes, of course, it depends on the scenario. In the work environment, I think saying no done diplomatically is a matter of relationship. As Dave said, try and establish a relationship with your boss whereupon you go, listen, I'm one human being. I love my job. I really love what I'm doing. I can do my job much better if I don't stretch myself so thin I'm so tired that I'm a cranky mess.
00:20:21
Speaker
Is there a way we can work together so that that doesn't happen? I can't do 14-hour days, but I can't be afraid of my job because I can't do 14-hour days. Now, if you have a boss that doesn't want anything to do with you, doesn't want to have that conversation, maybe you're in the wrong job.
00:20:40
Speaker
Just a thought, at home, if you have a situation at home where you are worn ragged, you've gone to work all day, you've come home, you've had to cook dinner, you've had to look after the kids, you've got husband coming in expecting this, that and the other, and you are one big rag. You have got to say there is going to be one day this week where you make your own dinner, you take care of yourselves, I'm going out with my friends.
00:21:03
Speaker
and maintain your friendships with your friends, even if it's by phone until you can actually get to see them. Take yourself away and say to them, no, this is what I need. I need this to be able to do my job here at home and take care of you guys. No, I am not going to do this seven days a week. So what are they all going to do? Pack up and move? Doubt it. I doubt you're going to get fired from home. Do you know what I'm saying?
00:21:33
Speaker
No, take take Put yourself first before everybody and not in a mean way You know, I mean if if mom's choking and ass raining, well, of course you're gonna go help You're gonna know it's my actually my day off. I'm not supposed to be here. Let's be at the movies You didn't know I mean within reason but but you have to put yourself first. It's imperative otherwise you go into burnout and burnout is bad
00:22:02
Speaker
That's when you drink, take drugs, and the most important thing of all, you start to not care.
Juliette Watt's Extraordinary Life Experiences
00:22:08
Speaker
You don't care about the person you're looking after. Eh, I forgot their drugs. It gives a shit. You know what I'm saying? I don't care anymore. I'm done. I think this begs an interesting question. What's the difference between burnout and compassion fatigue? Is that- Burnout is the result of compassion fatigue going on too long.
00:22:29
Speaker
It's when you don't care and that's when you'll start to feel it. When you feel it, you definitely not cared about yourself for a long time. But when you don't care about whatever it is, your job, when you don't care about doing a good job anymore, you're just looking at the car. When you don't care about looking after that person at home, be it your child, your parent, whomever.
00:22:50
Speaker
or nobody in any state of distress just home you've gone to work eight hours you've come home now you've got to do the dinner you've got to maybe go get the kids i mean it's i see these poor women that used to look fabulous that look like a wreck because it's all about the children meaning and don't get me started on that topic i mean children have way too much power today i'm sorry
00:23:15
Speaker
I just think they run the house, oh my God. I agree. I live with this little thing that he wants food, daily, clothes, all the time, and oh God, it's all over. I'd have no teeth, darling. I'd have no teeth if I had spoken to my mother, even a tenth of the way I hear kids speak to their mother today, when my mother said something, and if I said no, I got clipped on the air. I never said no. I never said why, ever. Yeah.
00:23:43
Speaker
I mean, but, you know, we're in a different age. So we have to deal with today and how to cope with today.
00:23:50
Speaker
I think that that's such a fascinating problem is that nobody really knows how to clearly say no because this fear. And it's only fear. That's the only thing that stops them saying no is they're scared. You know, when people say to you, well, I'm scared of hurting another person's feet. Bull hickey. It's not that they're scared of hurting another people's feet. They're scared that if what they say, obsess the other person, the other person may not like them anymore. That's what they don't want. They don't want to feel bad.
00:24:19
Speaker
And it costs them likes and it costs them thumbs up on on the socials and things like that because the alternative the flip side of this is People are more than likely to torture you online if it's anonymous Mm-hmm
00:24:32
Speaker
I had an interaction with a colleague in a different city who had a very nice essay about something that he experienced, and I respectfully disagreed and wrote a couple of points that I thought were constructive, but still said, hey, you have a lot of validity here, and here's what I think is differently.
00:24:54
Speaker
And then this guy that I don't even know came over the top and said, it was the most fascinating thing. He said, I'm not picking on you personally, but, and then he listed, I think three things that I had to look up. Now, isn't that interesting? I'm not, I'm not making this personal, but I am because I'm talking to you about you.
00:25:13
Speaker
Right. That's a sort of a passive-aggressive defense system. So like, I'm about to tell you some really things that were really upset you, but I'm not actually telling you. I'm saying them, but they're not to you. But I'm hoping to guard you, recognize them as what I'm saying you have. Yeah. And so my response...
00:25:35
Speaker
I just kind of let it go because I thought it was funny because I had to look up all the words that he was using to describe it. I thought that interaction, it was very interesting, Trigby, and I think you handled it great. But Juliet, I think for your history is one of the things that really, I'm assuming, has helped you to create this body of work around compassion fatigue. But I don't want to undersell how absolutely
00:26:04
Speaker
intensely fascinating your life has been. And I'm sure that's part of where you picked up the options or the tools or the ways to do that. So, you know, writer for ABC television on a soap opera, you know, daytime Emmy nomination, you know, flight flight, airplane, airline pilot, master flight instructor, worked, worked in Beirut,
00:26:29
Speaker
Playboy Bunny, all these things. I read in the book you were engaged to Cat Stevens for a while. What were the inflection points in your life that really, or maybe a couple, that helped you spark this and that have wound up being the way that you found your path forward?
00:26:49
Speaker
I actually think I have my mother to thank because when you're left with, I have my mother to thank and my dad because I have his genes. Thanks a good Lord. But I have this and I always have had this innate sense of survival. I know how to survive and I don't complain and I don't winch at all.
00:27:07
Speaker
So I have a mother that's supposed to be a mother that isn't a mother so that came to me pretty quick that I was kind of sort of on my own and And that's why I left school at 15 Forged my birth certificate to go and work at the Playboy Club because if I hadn't we'd be on the streets now This is back in the 60s guys when debtors prison in England was still very much enforced
00:27:28
Speaker
And so mother would have gone to prison and we would have been homeless and being homeless in England in the 60s, I got to tell you, was pretty rough. That wasn't going to happen. So I thought and I started plotting and I saw the advertisement. Boom. I went in. My mother actually being every now and again brilliant.
00:27:47
Speaker
Altered my first certificate to read I was two years older than I indeed was so I was 15 I should have been 17 because of his alcohol there and being caught casinos and get it so there that began it and There was a point during when I was training to be a casino bunny where my math as we as we know by being told I was useless I really was useless because I didn't care. I didn't care about math. What a pointless subject
00:28:15
Speaker
I had to do math to learn how to be a casino dealer and I couldn't. And this one gentleman who changed my life, he showed me how to read pictures and the numbers on the on the on the roulette table rather than count. And changed my life. One human, I never saw him again after I worked there, but just I thought, well, I can do this. I can actually do this.
00:28:38
Speaker
And it just fueled that I can do anything if I have to, or even if I don't have to. And so from then on, Dave, what happened was this incredible instinct of survival, and I can do anything I am capable, and humans are. We are capable of extraordinary. And that's why my life, because it went the way it did, and honestly, I didn't choose for it to go that way. I really, really, I went to Beirut to have fun, not be in a war. Do you know what I'm saying?
00:29:10
Speaker
And that kind of came along. It was like, oh, darn. But yes, I think it's when you have no parenting, when you have no guidelines, you have nothing, and you either do one of two things. You become a victim and end up on the streets, or you did what I did and go to hell with it. I am going to battle through all of this. And one thing after another, the Liège situation,
00:29:38
Speaker
That was hell no. He's not getting away with this. I'm gonna go find his ass and I am going to bring him to justice which I did and he went to prison for 15 years when I got abducted by the Arabs to be taken away to parts unknown because back in the early 70s Abu Dhabi and Qatar and all these places were dust with tents and
00:30:01
Speaker
you disappeared, you young English girls would disappear. So I got myself out of that because I was tricked to go there by a friend. And, you know, I may have killed the guy. I honestly truthfully don't know.
00:30:15
Speaker
But again, there I am stuck in this hotel in Switzerland, and I absolutely know why I'm there. And I'm like, damned if this is going to happen. I got 24 hours. Think. And so rather than go, oh God, this has happened to me, I was about to be whisked away forever.
00:30:35
Speaker
So what do you do? Get whisked away forever and become a victim and live a life of absolute horror and misery or do something, you know. And I think, I don't know. I mean, it's just the way I think, the way I feel, even till today, I decided I would do a TED Talk. And everybody said, what are you gonna do a TED Talk about? Playboy? I said, no, I found this topic. And I said, I'm gonna do it in six months, and I did.
00:31:01
Speaker
When everybody goes, oh, you're brilliant and then bullshit. I'm not brilliant. That's the whole thing. You just decide. And it's the same thing with your clients. You know, your, your listeners in, in their job. If you want to be promoted, if you want to end up one day as CEO, you can just do it. Make a plan, make a path, make up a real direction for yourself.
00:31:26
Speaker
and just follow it and do it. Yeah, sorry. I want to talk about the book because I think the book is extraordinary. It's called In Between the Magic and it's available on Amazon. You can buy it. It's been out for a couple of months now.
00:31:45
Speaker
I really don't know how to begin. So let's maybe try this. Let's maybe try doing this a little bit of a lightning round. So tell me, tell me, I'm going to list off what I think is just amazing life things and tell me whether or not this is happening. You were a stunt writer. Yes. Wrote for a soap opera.
00:32:14
Speaker
Yes. Are a pilot. Yes. You once, you once were on stage the same night as Jay Leno and David Letterman.
00:32:23
Speaker
No, uh, not exactly. I was working. Um, I wasn't working. I was, well, I was working, but for no money, um, at the improvised improv club in Los Angeles. And this was in 1976. And I would be my slot to go on and sing was seven o'clock. Uh, Jay's slot was nine o'clock. Robin Williams, his slot was another time. David Letterman.
00:32:49
Speaker
We all sat at the bar waiting for our slots to go on. And in those days, maybe some of your older listeners will remember people like Don Rickles and Tom Driesden. They were the guys who were the headliners. And the whole deal was to get on Johnny Carson. But Dave and Jay Leno and all those guys who don't know me today, but they were skinny, starving comedians. And I love them dearly because they have the hardest job in the world.
00:33:15
Speaker
I was a singer. There was no chance I was going on Johnny, but the Johnny Scouts were there every night. The improv was an extraordinary place. Mr. Bird Friedman, God bless him. Yeah, just he ran the best, the best. So that's sort of on stage, but not with them sitting at the bar, actually, where I was. Chapter eight is called Helter Skelter. Did you did you connect with the Manson family at a point in your life?
00:33:39
Speaker
No. Oh, good. I haven't gotten that far yet. I've been jumping around because the, the, the table of contents, Dave, let me see if I can entice you to buy a copy of her book. Got to get the book out. Haven't I just, there it is. Health or Skelter. Uh, chapter 12 is behind the iron curtain. Chapter 14 is 1969 cabaret and Cairo chapter 18, gun running and spiders.
00:34:05
Speaker
Gunner and spiders. Okay. Chapter 26. La Vigilante, which I'm assuming is a French cap or where of some kind. No, La Vigilante is the situation in Belgium, in the edge Belgium, where I was raped, battling. And I found the guy, I walked the streets for two weeks with my friend, the bartender. We found the guy. He was a pimp.
00:34:33
Speaker
brought him to justice, which was difficult because it was Belgium and it's a different judicial system that I did. I managed to represent myself in court in French, which was kind of a miracle, and he got 15 years.
00:34:49
Speaker
When that night we were finished, I was supposed to go home the next day on the train. Nobody knew I was there. I'd lied to everybody in London. I was too embarrassed to tell anybody. My friend Michelle the bartender came to the front door to pick me up to take me to the airport and he held up the newspaper and it said La Vigilante. And it was a whole article about me, how I had literally been the spokesperson for all the artists.
00:35:15
Speaker
the strippers, the singers, the nightclub workers, everybody in Liège who had no voice, who they were hurt and repeated and they had nowhere to go, the police wouldn't even listen to them. And I had sort of done that for them. And that's why that's called La Vigilante, because you know what? I left that damn newspaper behind. Why? Because I didn't want my mother to see it. That's how bad it was. I should have it here right now hanging on my wall and I don't and I could kick myself.
00:35:42
Speaker
Oh, yeah.
Raising Awareness of Compassion Fatigue
00:35:44
Speaker
So deep into the pool stuff, um, keep going on the, just on the chapter list, chapter 34 is Yusuf Islam chapter 38, meet the white wizard. It's like, I don't even know what that means, but I want to, I want to hear his $20 and send me the category.
00:36:01
Speaker
The White Wizard is actually, it's my version of cocaine. It's what I call cocaine. That was, not me, that was my time in Los Angeles when my darling roommate Sandra would, we would be up at the Playboy Mansion, Hefner's Playboy Mansion every day. And as I was telling you guys earlier, you know, I saw nothing. I absolutely saw nothing probably because I was vaguely hostile, you know,
00:36:31
Speaker
Rambunctious and uh, right well something something you you don't have victims stamped on your forehead Yeah, I have renegade stamped on me which people don't want to mess with that
00:36:46
Speaker
So I used to have a good time. I would chat with everybody, make some really good friends and the celebrities that were up there that were nice like Robert Culp and Peter Lawford and some of these extraordinary fellows, we became great friends. I never went near cars because he hated me, as did the others. But it was one evening in particular that always stands out in my memory, which is what that chapter is written around.
00:37:09
Speaker
I, uh, everybody would stay late and that's when the shenanigans would go on and I would go home. And one evening I was walking through the whole big, you know, hallway to the front door and I looked to my left of the dining room and I saw Jim Belushi with his head in a plate of cocaine. And he was just hanging over it, literally hanging over the plate. And I don't know, something touched me.
00:37:33
Speaker
because I just felt this incredible urge that maybe I could help. And I went in and I sat beside him, and I said, Mr. Belushi, and he said, Jim. And he just stared, and he was just scooping this stuff into his nose and mouth, and it was a, I mean, it was a plate. And I sat there, and I knew there was nothing I could do, and I thought, should I call somebody? Who am I gonna call? What am I gonna say? Jim Belushi's got his head in a, no, that's not going to work.
00:38:01
Speaker
And I watched this for now. Well, to be clear, I'm pretty sure you're talking about John Belushi because Jim Belushi is running for Senate. Oh, no. There's a headline that we were talking about. We're talking about the actor John Belushi. John Belushi. All right. Jim Belushi. No, we're not. With apologies to the campaign. Yes, indeed. Did I say Jim Belushi? You did, yeah.
00:38:29
Speaker
He's got a brother called Jim. That's you know, and so yes, and and and so I got up and went home and I'll never forget that night and then bless us out when he died. A short time after it just broke my heart because I still thought to myself what could I have done? Nothing, I could have done nothing. And because cocaine in those days was ridiculous.
Juliette Watt's Book and Future Plans
00:38:52
Speaker
It was everywhere. There were bowls all over the place, you know, and it's nasty stuff, nasty.
00:38:58
Speaker
Well, I think that circles back to the original topic of because I think that's a question that a lot of people have is what do I do? Why can't I get these people to do what I want? And I think ultimately in reading your extraordinary book and learning from you is that
00:39:14
Speaker
You can't. That's the fundamental life lesson is the only person you really are in control of is yourself. Right. You need to take care of yourself. Yes, you have to. Like when I was in Beirut, I did go there for like to have a good time. I went there and I was working as a singer and it was all lovely. And there was lots of English girls there. This would be 1971 too. And, uh, we were having a grand old time and I remember clearly, I mean,
00:39:43
Speaker
American tourists would come there a lot. And all of a sudden, overnight, everything changed because I looked out of my window one morning and I saw these Israeli airplanes about 200 feet off the water because I lived by the water, by the ocean. And I thought, well, I know that flag and that really shouldn't be here. I mean, there was a lot of Palestinians living in Lebanon in Beirut, in ghettos.
00:40:06
Speaker
which is a whole you'll read in the book. I do my very best to explain the conflict that happened back there in 72 between Israel, Palestine. It was nasty because originally when Israel took over the country, all the Palestinians became refugees and a lot of them came to live in Beirut.
00:40:26
Speaker
You can imagine a lot of very angry people that were good friends with the Russians and got lots of machine guns. It was a brew of trouble that the Lebanese government just put a lid on. They didn't want to see it, so they put them in ghettos.
00:40:41
Speaker
And none of us knew what we knew they were there, but we didn't want to go near them because they were nasty people. And the lid blew off one day because what they did was Yasser Arafat decided he was lobbing grenades and bombs from Beirut over to Israel. He thought that was a fine idea. And Israel said, no,
Conclusion and Contact Information
00:41:02
Speaker
and came over and civil war began. And I was right in the middle of it.
00:41:06
Speaker
That was actually, um, before that I was running guns up the mountain to the militia up. All right. We're just going to stop this and you're not, you're going to, you're going to come to Minneapolis and we're just going to hang out because you can't just throw that in with three minutes to go on a podcast. All of that time. You remember that time I was running guns up the mountain. You're killing me, Julia. You're killing me.
00:41:32
Speaker
Maybe we have to do part two of the podcast. I guess. I think if you want us to bring her back and because I certainly need to hear more about and finish. There is a lot more Dave actually if you want to do part two and I can assure you my darling it will not be boring and it will be helpful to your listeners who by now are probably dizzy reaching for the scotch.
00:41:55
Speaker
I love it. Yes. I got nothing, man. You got to take over. No, this is wonderful. So to kind of bring it home as we go through, I think, Juliette, you've got an absolutely fascinating story. My favorite part for our audience for sure is that you've taken everything that you've done and that you've learned and that you've experienced and you've
00:42:20
Speaker
captured that into a message that goes in large part in order to move forward in your life, you have to look out for yourself. And as we look at this and as we are, you know, business owners or managers, you need to look out for the
00:42:45
Speaker
common signs of compassion fatigue. And you need to make sure that people are burning out and it doesn't take a whole lot. It just takes a little bit of compassion and just thinking about yourself and about others in order to break that cycle.
00:43:06
Speaker
Yes, thinking about others, being just aware of how another person might be feeling. You know, if somebody says something to you and you take offense at it, well, hang on a minute, maybe they're not having a good day. Maybe something really awful is going on at home. I mean, try and get out of your own, oh, well, I'm offended. Try and think what's happening, you know, with them. And we don't do that. This is not the trait of today to think about others.
00:43:34
Speaker
It's a me, me, me and myself.
00:43:36
Speaker
And I think that's exactly where it is. And if you are careful in protecting yourself while extending your hand to others and understanding that and realizing that we're in a complicated world. And so anything that we can do to help each other out is going to help you and your business. And if you do it right, you might have some fascinating stories to share.
00:44:04
Speaker
Yeah, we might actually be happy for God's sake. But I do think you might like the gun running of the Lebanese Mountain Store. Oh my goodness, yeah. Yeah, we'll have you back for part two and we'll start with gun running and Lebanese gun running. One last question, Juliette. With all that's happened to you and your extraordinary life, what is next for you?
00:44:28
Speaker
Oh, well right now I ride horses. I'm competing in competition on horses. My next thing is if I can get this book into a wonderful streaming series that everybody can watch and enjoy and somebody fabulous play me in it.
00:44:49
Speaker
And book two is the next thing on the horizon. And we're like that too. In Between the Magic, it's available on Amazon. If somebody's looking for you, Juliette, where can they find you online? They can find me. My website is JulietteWatt. That's J-U-L-I-E-T-T-E-W-A-T-T one word dot com. And my TEDx just put my name into Google search, TEDx JulietteWatt, and that will come up.
00:45:18
Speaker
But everything is on my website. I do coaching for people with compassion fatigue and other troubles. And I'm delighted to help as many as I can. And I have helped quite a few to which I'm extremely proud of. And that's, you know, Facebook and all that business, but... I love it. Sorry. That's marvelous. Yes, I agree. My opinion of social media is not very great. Thank you. Juliette Watt, the most interesting woman in the world.