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#1. This is how it all started figuring out the adventure of life.
98 Plays2 years ago
After being YouTubers for over a year we have finally made the leap to podcasting. Come on this journey of life with us as we go on adventures and connect, discover, and inspire!
Robert G. McNeill, DDS, MD, MBA and Stephanie R. Ganter, DDS, MS are surgeons with The Dental Specialists in Garland, Texas. Don't worry, life and their podcast is not about the teeth.
Follow on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/BetweenTwoTeeth
Instagram: @B2teeth
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Transcript
Introduction and Background
00:00:00
Speaker
Hey there, guys. I am Bobby. Hi there. I'm Steffy Stuff. And we are Between Two Teeth. This is our first podcast. And we are so thankful that you are here. We've actually been kind of... How do we sound? Put the messages in the comment box. We have been kind of YouTubers now for over a year. We've been called podcasters, but we never officially had a podcast. We don't get wrapped up in titles. We don't get wrapped up in titles. That is a very good... We get wrapped up in content.
00:00:31
Speaker
We do and we try to be authentic. You know, I'm an oral max facial surgeon.
00:00:38
Speaker
You. I am. She just as, yes. I'm a periodontist. And we're in practice together. We've gone to dental school, med school, integrated medicine fellowships. I've done it. Harvard programs. Done my MBA. And we're trying to figure out this adventure of life. And I guess part of it is trying to figure out selfishly,
00:01:04
Speaker
How do we live our own best life? But we want you to go on this adventure with us. So Steph, how did we start this whole YouTube thing? So we started, we love Zach Galifianakis, and we love his Between Two Ferns YouTube comedy sketch. And so one time, kind of toddling on the motorcycle. Toddling, we do motorcycle. That is a true statement.
00:01:33
Speaker
I'll just say this, when I do my best thinking is when I'm on a run or if I'm sometimes even in surgery, if you're just doing something small with your hands or if you're running or working out, it can actually unlock some very awesome thinking potential, especially if you're a little neurodivergent.
00:01:57
Speaker
You get in the zone and I'm glad you brought up the motorcycle part because that realistically is when we come up with a lot of our ideas. It's a great way to, you're still thinking, you're doing something, but it allows you to not be overly focused and allows you to unlock a little different part of your mindset. We've had some amazing conversations.
00:02:24
Speaker
We were on a total and we decided that I... I love that you used the word total by the way. Oh, it's a great word. We wanted to kind of do something similar. And I remember I was coming up with the idea saying, why don't we start a show? And we were trying to spitball. What are we going to call it? And we're like, Oh my gosh, between two teeth. That'd be awesome.
Vulnerability and Rejection
00:02:44
Speaker
By the way, if we were lawyers, we would call it between two torts. That there you go. There you go.
00:02:50
Speaker
So anyway, we knew we wanted to do this and we started to write blog posts. We wanted to start promoting our idea. We had a few shows kind of in the tank there. And we're part of a local organization where we live in that
00:03:10
Speaker
we brought up a blog post on vulnerability which you did you wrote this post on vulnerability right i think it has less to do with who wrote it anyway is written pushed it back to you and said no it's and it was pushed back as as being too self promoting now the irony there when you're vulnerable.
00:03:33
Speaker
You're putting yourself out there. No, the other irony is that this membership group is literally supposed to support the membership. But anyways, I digress. Yes, minor details. And I remember you came to me and you're like, what should I do? I was like, dang, man. I just got denied. You did. You got denied the big way. And you were like, you're joking. I go, no, I'm not. So after being asked to take away all the identifying factors of my blog post,
00:04:01
Speaker
We decided to do something different. We didn't want to change it. We really thought it was a good pose and it was, you know, we went. Yeah. Well, no, I don't feel like I personally failed. I think instead we just needed to seek other people. And so one of the things that I did was I went to a national organization that was affiliated just on a different level.
00:04:25
Speaker
and they loved it actually they loved it so much they ran with it they promoted it at their meetings they were all about getting on board with this idea and what it taught me was is that it's taught me that just because one door closes doesn't mean your ideas terrible. I just maybe just haven't had the right kind of person look at it and there might be someone out there that really thinks it's awesome.
Personal Adventures and Self-Discovery
00:04:52
Speaker
And I think the blessing with all of that is you didn't let a closed door stop you. We ended up having someone took a look at your article once it was published and it was a friend that I knew from 25 years ago that went, Oh my gosh, I love what you guys are doing. Hey, do you want to be involved in the.
00:05:14
Speaker
American Dental Association's annual session and do something there. It's amazing how all of that can play out when you let it. That was insane. I don't think we would have dove into this channel quite much.
00:05:34
Speaker
I was such fervor some so much fervor fervor if you were utilizing some good words total further we gotta bring some things back into the.
00:05:46
Speaker
Yeah, thanks, man. The ether? Yeah. I just don't think we would have pursued this with as much fervor if we didn't get denied. In a way, we got to say thank you. Oh, that's right. We'll have to send a note. I feel like this little Taylor Swift moment. Adventure. What we are- Life, the great adventure.
00:06:13
Speaker
Yeah, life is a great adventure and what's your journey? My journey specifically, I'm 33 right now. I'm just trying to realize what my adventure might look like and it's super cool to kind of get there. I think as kiddos,
00:06:38
Speaker
our parents kind of choose our adventure for us. They put us in the sports. They tell us kind of what grades to make. We feel like we not owe them something, but we feel like we have to please everybody else, especially when you're in school. And then when you get out of school, something cool happens. You start getting on your own adventure. And that's kind of what this is about, is finding your own adventure. It doesn't mean you have to start your own company, and it doesn't mean you have to
00:07:07
Speaker
uh you know totally forsake your your lifestyle choices right now but what it can mean is you take some moments uh kind of getting off the the scrolling of instagram and instead take some moments and reflect get a journal you got a journal
00:07:24
Speaker
I do, I do, yeah. Actually, I've got several journals, I've got a cool pen. I did a cool pen, a cool journal, and I jot down some notes, you know, five to seven minutes in a day, and just say, hey, what is my adventure? And it doesn't, you know, some people have kids as their adventure, and I think that's a lovely adventure, but don't forget to kind of remember you are more than just your kids.
00:07:52
Speaker
That's a good point. And I think on my side of the equation, I'm not in my thirties. I am kind of on a second half of life. You're so wrong. Now this is a podcast, you know, now you can see us over on YouTube at between two teeth on YouTube if you actually want to take a look, but no, I'm not in my seventies.
00:08:13
Speaker
I'm slow to mature and I'm on the second half of life trying to figure it out. I did a lot of things well and a lot of things poorly in the first half and that's the blessing of just being on an adventure and that's what this I think with Between Two Teeth and the YouTube channel
00:08:34
Speaker
Man, we've had some adventures and we want, we'd really love you guys to follow us on many of these adventures. We did this motorcycle wellness tour and it was, it's something I never thought I would do.
00:08:51
Speaker
And I love what you say by follow us, please. I would amend that statement. Oh, she's going to amend it. Yes. I'm going to amend it. I don't like the word follow. Okay. Don't follow us at all. Whatever you do. I think from a clarification standpoint, of course we want followers, for sure. But our followers, I want to kind of be teammates or I want our followers to be
00:09:17
Speaker
Part of our family i want our followers to connect with us and share their discoveries with us i want our followers to collaborate with us and i think that probably is.
Mission and Growth Mindset
00:09:30
Speaker
Why don't you talk about our why? Because it ties into exactly what you're talking about. So part of our why is we want to connect with as many people as possible. Connecting with people, I kind of see as not having just a mindless follower, but having someone that
00:09:53
Speaker
shares their own stories we talked about in an earlier episode where don't go ask advice ask them to share their story and So we want to connect with as many people as possible We really want to discover new things about others ourselves in the world
00:10:10
Speaker
I think this world is as big or small as you make it. And there are these two. This is a concept you can have in business. You can have a fixed mindset or a growth mindset. And a lot of times with a growth mindset, the sky is the limit and your pie just keeps expanding.
00:10:29
Speaker
Oh, I like that. I'm a huge fan of the pie. Well, you're not wrong. If you if you're looking at us on YouTube, you will notice that. Yeah, I probably one of us. One of us is one of us is eating a moderate amount of pie and cakes and things like that. I don't like pie. I love cake. Well, so there you go. What were we just talking about there?
00:10:55
Speaker
So I'm talking about the pie. Oh, the pie can get bigger. So many people are of a fixed mindset and it actually drives me bonkers when they look at it and say, you know, there can only be one person that can win. There's, there's only so much creative space. There's only so much money. There's only so many things you can create and expand when you have the right mentality.
00:11:18
Speaker
When you have the right mentality, you have the right leaders and the right participants in the group, anything's possible. One quote we heard recently was, there's nothing too vulnerable people. There's nothing that too vulnerable people can't do in life. And I believe that's true for business partners. I believe that's true for spouses, true for parent-kid relationships, any relationships, two friends, any relationships we have in life. If you have two vulnerable people trying to solve a problem, I think human beings have it. You can solve the problem.
00:11:47
Speaker
So you talked about our why as far as connect, discover, and what's the last part? The last part of that is inspire. So allowing ourselves to be inspired by the universe, you love saying sometimes it's nice to let the universe guide you, take you where it will.
00:12:06
Speaker
Allowing others to be inspired by the universe around ourselves to be inspired by the universe around us and eventually inspire others. I think leading by example here that's what we're trying to do with connect discover and inspire is we
Personal Growth Journey
00:12:22
Speaker
want to we're not trying to fight any kind of.
00:12:27
Speaker
pre-determined course. We're just trying to enjoy the ride, have fun along the way. And man, if we ended up inspiring someone, that's like the, to me, that's the best thing. And one of the coolest things is we've actually had a fair number of people reach out and be inspired by a variety of some of the different things that we did. Part of it was just feeling connected to us and seeing as we kind of move through things. Part of it was being inspired by either the
00:12:57
Speaker
Italian motorcycle adventure or the Ukraine mission that we went on by taking a team, uh, over to Warsaw, Poland. What's a, what's a fair number? I know a couple is two, no, no, I'm not going to get into the number to a fast food window. And you're like, Hey, can I have a fair number of fries? I'm like, uh, you know what? I'm not, I'm not a person that counts numbers.
00:13:24
Speaker
You know what? This length would be a fair number of ways. We had five subscribers to our YouTube channel for a long period of time. It's been a minute. So how did this, you know, we talked a little bit about Zach Galifianakis being the inspiration. Our humor is a little bit off.
00:13:45
Speaker
I grew up in Canada. That's part of it. We think things are funny. Can you give us two Canadian words real quick? That would prove. Boot in a boot. Oh, that's nice. How do you say milk? I'm not going to say it. Milk.
00:14:00
Speaker
I think it's spelled M-E-L-K, milk, but I digress. So a lot of life, I think, and it applies to our channel here, is you just have to start. And when you start, you will not be good at so many different things. Would you agree with that statement?
00:14:26
Speaker
Yeah, for sure. Does that hold you back sometimes where you don't want to start until you're perfect or you get in there and you're like, I'm just going to go for it. You're an experiential learner like me. You start knowing it's going to be a mess. But you love that because then if you've, and I was talking to a gal, she's getting into hockey right now. We both play hockey.
00:14:48
Speaker
And she never did sports as a kid. Hockey is her first sport. The hockey team I'm on is full of new hockey players, but a lot of those players played soccer, basketball, something in their childhood. So they're sporty and with the exception of her, she is not. And so what I told her is I was like, hey, you know,
00:15:14
Speaker
Sorry, I'm getting the signal. I'm just making sure. Yeah, we're on the same page. What I told you was look, when you're trying to get good at something, it's knowing that you're going to be terrible at it at first and focus on the basics. Don't try to focus on this wraparound shot.
00:15:29
Speaker
little by little, that's how you get really, really good at things. Whether it's sports or if you're trying to practice, whatever. Very, very small baby steps. A little bit every day goes a long way. I think being okay with not being great, certainly off the get go. I think just having the courage to start the adventure. I've had many people in my life
00:15:57
Speaker
That i've looked at and said oh my gosh i'm inspired by what they're doing and i could never do that. But then i'd look at it and say but you know what i can do a little bit moving in that direction and i've had people push me for my own why.
00:16:16
Speaker
I ended up being pretty burned out. I'd been in clinical practice for some time. I took a month off to do a public policy fellowship and took the entire month of April off. And for me, it was eyeopening. It was a leadership management sort of thing. And they actually had talked about burnout and it was one of the last days of the class. I'm like, oh my gosh, I'm burned out.
00:16:41
Speaker
And sometimes you have to get removed from a situation to really fully appreciate where you're at. But it was helpful because during that time, I was able to kind of develop my own why. And I know you developed your why. And for people listening to this, I would push them, because that's what I do, to sit down and say, what's your why? I think yours was from the sisterhood of the traveling pants.
00:17:08
Speaker
I have no idea what that reference is. You keep saying eat, pray, love. So here's the deal. I'm doing this public policy fellowship. A lot of the people in the group were like. It just rhymes with your, eat, pray, love just tends to rhyme with yours. Okay, stop, stop. Cause I felt, I felt kind of bad developing my own why. So your first why was actually, I thought limiting. I thought it was a fixed mindset.
00:17:36
Speaker
It was not the one we're joking about right now before that one. It was it was pretty bad. And that's where I meant to kind of make you I meant to inspire you to venture elsewhere. You're not wrong. But if the next one you had was pretty cool. Live, laugh, love. Are you done?
00:17:51
Speaker
The left. No. And the funny thing is that you're around these military professionals and they all. So that's what I'm trying to say. Mission statements of power. You know, I've got these people that like they're on serious. They're on track to be ambassadors of countries. Live life love. Are you done?
00:18:10
Speaker
Trawl all along. If you could see on YouTube right now, you'd see Steph just smiling away. It's exactly what that kind of needed. And it was nice. I'm still trying to tell my story. No, tell it. I'm giving you this signal. OK, very good. So now I will complete the story. So I sat down. We had a class on what the why is. And really, you want to have something that's pretty concise and meaningful.
00:18:40
Speaker
And yes, my first one that I came up, well, my first many were super duper basic. Yeah, done. See if you run YouTube, you could see why I said that. But anyways, it was super duper basic. And then I got closer and closer and closer and I came up with.
00:19:03
Speaker
My purpose was to live, laugh and love. And I modified a little bit after that. I really felt, I felt it was too basic because that's a common thing, but I've always loved that. And I love to live. I love to laugh.
00:19:21
Speaker
And I love to love. So I ended up having it where my purpose is... She's doing a love sign right now if you're not on YouTube. My purpose is to push myself and others to fully live, laugh, and love. And for me, it was important to push because I like to push myself and I like to push others. And the fully part.
00:19:51
Speaker
So get out there and get your why and sit down and write some things down. And the first several are going to be terrible on yours. We went back and forth on your purpose statement, whether to put push into it.
00:20:04
Speaker
It's crazy because you're a pusher, but this is kind of a difference between kind of, I don't know, like young versus experienced doc or female versus male, is that I felt like when I pushed others towards things, especially in residency,
00:20:22
Speaker
Work so well i was labeled as pushy and so when you said you want to push others i'm like you wanna make sure you're not being pushy but when you push others it's just it's different and so you don't get labeled as pushy you get kind of labeled as a leader.
00:20:40
Speaker
Thank you, I think that's a compliment. So talk about your development of your why. And once again, if you haven't sat down with a piece of paper, a quiet space, or go for a walk and think about it, that's my push to people that are listening to this is to say, really sit down and know you're gonna modify it with time.
Emotional Connections and Vulnerability
00:21:03
Speaker
But was it easy coming up with your why?
00:21:06
Speaker
I felt like it was fairly easy. I played around with words for sure, but connect, discover, inspire just seemed to hit all three. My first word of my why was really based on what I am craving most at this point in my life, which is connection.
00:21:25
Speaker
And that's interesting because in my generation, we had social media in high school, we had the texts, phones in high school where people texted each other a lot. And the one-on-one, the verbal communication was sometimes there, sometimes not. And we're just now entering over the period of the past five to 10 years maybe, we've been entering this
00:21:51
Speaker
this space of mental health and well-being and understanding words like trigger and understanding the importance of uncomfortable conversations. And that all has to do with connection. And communication, which you kind of referenced earlier. And sometimes I don't know, like I can't speak for all millennials, but I am. No, go ahead. Speak for all millennials. I am a millennial. And what I can speak from my experience is that
00:22:18
Speaker
And it's easier to text somebody than to pick up the phone and call. I definitely don't want to have an awkward conversation. But what I'm also realizing is if you don't tell your story or if you don't kind of put yourself out there and be a little vulnerable, there's going to be a lot of miscommunication. Assumptions wreak havoc.
00:22:39
Speaker
And you know, one thing that women tend to do is, you know, they tend to at least for me, I tend to kind of catastrophize things in my head. And so for me, it's especially difficult to have those uncomfortable conversations, because a lot of times, my frame, my reference, my lens is, you know, built upon
00:23:00
Speaker
Emotional data and non factual and so one thing that I've I've pushed some of my mentees Towards and myself is to look at the facts and and really try to tease away the facts from the accelerated emotional thinking
00:23:18
Speaker
I like that a lot. And I like that your why became the why for between two teeth just because it made so much sense. When you're on motorcycles, discovery is inevitable and you tend to discover things about yourself, about the world around you. It's crazy where two wheels will take you. Oh, I like that. I was, I rode motorcycles as a kid. I, I was terrified to get back on a motorcycle.
00:23:48
Speaker
And I think part of my life journey was I need to put fear in the right perspective. I know you did a great LinkedIn article talking about fear, but I don't want to be fearful. Are you fearful?
00:24:05
Speaker
Oh, I think we're all fearful. Are you overly fearful? Is that a better question? Maybe in some ways, yes, some ways, no. My last thing on my why was inspire, because this really hits on the philosophical question of, are we enough? And what do we assign to ourselves to make us enough? And when you think about it, you're like, OK, to be enough, do I have to inspire other people
00:24:31
Speaker
That's not a you thing. All you can do is show up and be you, and if you happen to inspire people, yeah, that's great. But inspiring somebody has more to do with them and where they're at in their life. It does except for the fact.
00:24:50
Speaker
that if you're afraid to communicate, if you're afraid to put a message out there, if you're afraid to be vulnerable, you know, we are videotaping this as well for YouTube. You keep yawning. No, don't do that. Steffy stuff is a character. But if you don't put your message out there,
00:25:10
Speaker
then you're not going to inspire people. And I guess part of our push too is to say, if you have something that you think is going to be helpful, because I think all of us really want to make the universe better. Oh yeah. And I think I, I guess what I mean a little bit more specifically is that the times in my life where I've inspired somebody else or I've made an impression on somebody else, I wasn't even trying.
00:25:34
Speaker
That's the way life works. And so, you know, take riding a motorcycle in Italy, I think everybody rides motorcycles and scooters. What I didn't realize is not a lot of women ride the big bike really large. It was a large BMW. So it's kind of cool seeing some of the, you know, Italy is
00:25:53
Speaker
a little sexist. So it was kind of fun to see some of the men on the sidelines just kind of looking at me like, wow, this is a circus act. Every time we would stop somewhere, there would be men who were in their 70s and 80s and they would get up from their table where they were eating and they'd walk over to watch you get on the motorcycle.
00:26:12
Speaker
And I think it was shock and awe. And then you just toddle off and away you go. And one thing I learned about riding a big bike is that of course, you know, any motorcycle is dangerous, but it was kind of overcoming a fear a little bit because it's a, it's very intimidating feat. But once you're on the bike and once you understand the balance structure of it, it's actually phenomenally easy. I like it because it makes me a better automobile driver.
00:26:40
Speaker
Cause I was, I was not a great car driver. So I wouldn't pay attention on a motorcycle. You're paying attention to everything. For sure. You know, my lens is the world's a very scary place for my lens. Oh, come on. It is not. It is. You know, you go around, you're a big dog. You get to go around looking down at the world. You know, I go around looking up at it. If you're a podcaster, no, if you're listening on this podcast and you can't see, Steph is not a tall human.
00:27:10
Speaker
And I'm not incredibly short, but I'm five foot three, so do with that what you will. And so it's just, my lens will always be someone that is looking up to most people.
00:27:27
Speaker
And it's tricky. Technically, I look up to some 18-year-old people, and that messes with your mind a little bit. And so when you look at working with others, being an inspiration, inspiring others, and for me, connect, discover, and inspire, it all has to do with your lens and how you see the world and how others see
Persistence and Achievements
00:27:56
Speaker
you.
00:27:56
Speaker
You inspire me. I certainly would not have taken the Italian motorcycle adventure. I would not have. I would not have taken, you know, some of the California motorcycle trips up to Big Sur. Um, so it's, it's good to surround yourself with people that will inspire you. You know, that's a basic statement for me to say, but I'm also going to say another basic statement. Never say never. Except to.
00:28:26
Speaker
Say what I just said. So talk about how a lot of people were against us doing this. Yeah. It, uh, social media, and this is one of the things I learned in my MBA that I did a couple of years ago. You know, social media is your best friend and it can also be your worst enemy. And I had several of my faculty actually, when I first put out the YouTube channel couple that were more comfortable with vulnerability, a hundred percent on board, glad you're getting that message out there.
00:28:56
Speaker
Some of the other ones that were not comfortable with vulnerability, like, Oh my gosh, why on earth would you do this? It's difficult somewhat for us. You know, we're both professionals. We, um, I'm part of a regulatory agency as well. So I've always got to be mindful of that.
00:29:14
Speaker
I loved it curse, but you know, no, no, no. Did you say your faculty reached out to you? Oh, I thought you were going to say the F word there. Don't say the F word. Did you say your faculty reached out to you? They did. Like from dental school? No, my faculty from my MBA because I posted things on LinkedIn and all this kind of stuff.
00:29:37
Speaker
What are they on social media and then to like are you serious now you're definitely gonna have to get to YouTube on between to see what I look like there but I bet I've also had dental so I've actually had.
00:29:51
Speaker
I don't think it's past mustard. Did you literally just say that? Oh my gosh. What's the saying? You young people, it's mustard, I think. No, it's mustard. I don't know. I love mustard and I love relish. Did it not pass mustard? Let's not get sidetracked here. So never say never, follow the path of the universe. No, a lot of people were against this.
00:30:15
Speaker
A lot of people were against us for a variety of reasons. I think a lot of times things come down to, sometimes people are fearful, sometimes certainly people are jealous. I had some significant, well, I know you're into numbers. I had several people kind of say, why are you doing this? And that's where having your own confidence,
00:30:42
Speaker
to say, I'm doing this because I want to do it. This is frankly why having the why.
00:30:49
Speaker
was important for me that, you know, I do want to connect with others and I do want to try to get a message out there. I want to try to have an impact and I want to be impacted by others. The fact that we're doing this, the fact that your article got rejected the way that it did, the fact that we got invited to the ADA annual session because of that rejection,
00:31:18
Speaker
That got us in a spot. You know, we were last year around this time, we're getting ready. We basically just snuck into this annual session, something called SmileCon. If you're in the dental arena, you'll understand that.
00:31:33
Speaker
and you reached out to the keynote speaker's people. The keynote speaker was Brene Brown. Shout out to Brene Brown. Love her. Love Brene Brown. Love her. And you reached out to her people and said, hey, I think you said we were podcasters and technically this is our first podcast and this is like a year and a half later, but we were YouTubers. We literally had like 15 subscribers.
00:32:01
Speaker
We wanted to interview Brene Brown and you put the ask out there. They politely, would they say politely said no. No. So they politely said no. Hell no. Well, that's what they were thinking, but they were polite about it. Some folks at the ADA kind of found out about this and some thought we were definitely off our rocker. Um, but now a year later, we are,
00:32:29
Speaker
We are the hosts for that meeting and we are interviewing, shout out Constance Wu, we are interviewing this year's keynote speaker on the big stage and to go from having an ask of, hey, can we interview you with our GoPro camera as you walk up to the stage to now we're doing that because we didn't let things stop us. And I think that's, that's kind of the important
00:32:57
Speaker
Oh yeah, without a doubt. Push. One of the cool things about you is that you're persistent. Yes. It's not that you don't take no, but it's something different. I think you tend to
00:33:15
Speaker
ask different ways. What do you mean by that? I think instead of you don't get mad if you get a no, rejection doesn't seem to phase you. It's instructive because even though you get told no quite a bit, you just
00:33:34
Speaker
I use the analogy, you shake up the snow globe and see where the snowflakes fall and then you do a re-ask or you ask a different person or you try to figure out a different angle. And that's admirable because a lot of times when someone tells you no, you really don't know why they're telling you no. And part of the approach I think that's been successful for you and has kind of landed us on the stage is that
00:34:04
Speaker
kind of getting down to having a
Balancing Emotions and Professionalism
00:34:06
Speaker
very nuanced understanding of well why is it a no or why is there no response and not getting you know emotionally tied to that but just saying well what's the facts i don't like emotion congratulations
00:34:20
Speaker
Thank you. I try to utilize emotion to serve me well, but emotion can serve you very poorly. Especially with what you're talking about there. For sure. From a working together standpoint, emotion can be tricky. But from a human being standpoint and a connection standpoint, I think emotion is the biggest thing. So emotion is- Can you have a connection without emotion?
00:34:47
Speaker
No, you can't, I think, but also, and I'm not saying I'm, what I'm against is uncontrolled emotion. Are you against the first word of our mission statement? No, no, I like connect. You just said you hate... No, I'm saying put emotion in perspective. One of the greatest things I learned in my MBA was the term amygdala hijack. We won't get into it now. Google amygdala hijack, it can change your level of effectiveness.
00:35:15
Speaker
you need to have a little bit more coffee. So I love what we're, this little point we're on though is huge because oftentimes I think, you know, women have a lot of bonding relationships, but they don't have a lot of bridging ones. Bridging relationships are like, oh, I got a job for you. I can get you a job. I'm a CEO. We're looking for a CFO. Let's make this connection work. Women tend to have more,
00:35:44
Speaker
Easier time forming bonding relationships. Let's grab tea. Let's grab mimosas. Let's go brunch Come see my baby women are a lot easier going at that and It's easier for women because I think we're more tied into our emotions necessarily than some guys and where where I think as females kind of
00:36:12
Speaker
You see more and more females in these top leadership positions. I'm reading a book right now, When Women Lead. It's an effort by a journalist to expose headhunters or people who are looking for CEOs of companies to what they can expect when they have a CEO that's a female.
00:36:29
Speaker
And it's about getting them familiar with what to expect when a woman leads. And the reason I bring that up is because as we try to strip away emotion, it gets away from the bonding connection. And it transforms that into more of a bridging network, a network that's based on facts and based on getting things done, deadlines and the like. And so I think there's room for both.
00:36:54
Speaker
And as we talk about connection though, you can't strip away the emotion. I think emotion makes connection magical and not good. And I think if you want to be effective, and a big part of that public policy fellowship that I did was figuring out how to be most effective.
00:37:11
Speaker
I think a lot of the bullet points there is appropriately manage emotion, managing emotion on your side of the equation, but also the person or people that you're interacting with. That's where amygdala hijack gets in. Once again, Google amygdala hijack. The other thing is communication.
00:37:34
Speaker
You referenced it early. You know, you're in your early 30s. You grew up in a texting culture. I didn't have a phone until like the last part of undergrad. And so communication, your ability to verbally and non-verbally communicate will make or break you. Yeah. And if you're communicating with someone,
00:37:58
Speaker
or if you are that person who doesn't feel good about yourself, where you're at in life, or just doesn't have that comfortability there, you're gonna have to spend a lot more time communicating and supporting those emotional deficiencies, maybe. I don't know what the word would be, but you're gonna have to spend a lot more of your life force energy supporting that person, building that person up to get the best out of them because they're not telling themselves those things.
00:38:29
Speaker
And I like that you brought up life force energy because realistically that's something I certainly look at and especially as someone who's kind of on the second part of living life and trying to live their best life.
Positive Influences and Mentorship
00:38:44
Speaker
what is giving me energy, what is inappropriately taking away energy, knowing when to say yes, knowing when to say no. I think you and I are terrific at saying yes, we're getting better at saying no and dropping off toxic relationships, toxic organizations. And it's easy to, you know, no one to quit and no one to stick. It's easy to say... You gotta know when to hold them.
00:39:14
Speaker
know when to fold them. I used to think I was really good at karaoke. And that was my karaoke. And the reason I bring that up, there's a kind of a fun little book that, oh, fun. It's, it's knowing when to quit and when to stick. And the book is made to talk about waiting out the dip and most companies that are going to, so say you got, you know, you got a big company like Microsoft. Uh, it's really tough to, to wait out the dip because these big companies have created these, you know,
00:39:45
Speaker
What is it? Almost like a force field around them because they're so popular and they've just been at this for so long. So most companies that try to compete in a direct sense of that or a direct space of that.
00:39:56
Speaker
They don't have enough resources, time, money, energy to wait out that dip. So they ended up quitting. When you apply that to a lot of our daily life situations, you know, hey, do I stay at this job? Do I stay in this relationship? Do I quit this one because it's not serving me? Especially the owner you are, you don't know which relationships are serving you well. You really don't know which ones.
00:40:19
Speaker
Hey, I just need to have a short conversation here and work past our awkwardness or our miscommunication versus saying, this is not someone that is going to be healthy in my life. I need to quit this relationship. And to bring it full circle, that's where I think having a why can be helpful. Yeah, it's a lighthouse. Because we've looked at different things and it's a lens at which we look at
00:40:47
Speaker
Do we wanna do this or not do this? I agree. I think you need to get more sleep.
00:40:55
Speaker
You know what? Sleep's important. And as we go on this adventure, we're trying to figure out how to live our best lives. We want you guys to join us on the adventure of that and well-being. We're both very involved with wellness and well-being on the regulatory side of things within dentistry, for instance, through the American Dental Association. We're going to push a bunch of things out there. But we are just
00:41:21
Speaker
We're very thankful if anyone's made it to this part in our podcast slash YouTube, because we're still YouTubers. We're the OG. Well, we're not the OG YouTubers, but that's how we started.
00:41:36
Speaker
We're new on the scene and we're getting comfortable in the environment. We're trying to define where we're going. But let's not get too comfortable. Oh yeah, we're definitely not in the comfortable state. When you look at some of my reels that I post on Instagram, Instagram be the number two teeth.
00:41:54
Speaker
You go, yeah, that's a little off. My music selection sometimes a little off as well. It's different, but it's not about, you know, we're in the new beginning phase of creating a brand and seeing where that adventure goes. And that's why we want people to connect with us because you could do this too. Yes. And this is not a space that is, you know, only one person. We say that pie can get really a lot bigger. We want to collaborate with like-minded individuals and we want to
00:42:22
Speaker
We just want to kind of grow, learn, develop together and get to a real fun spot with a lot of cool people. Fun. I'm glad you brought up fun because really we both love adventure. We love fun. Now we do serious things as well. An analogy I think for life, the journey of life is
00:42:43
Speaker
Imagine you are going to, imagine life is a party. Do you want to spend that party just with yourself? Do you just want one person at that party? Or do you want that party to be filled with a lot of people in your life? And it just kind of helps guide you. Who do you want to bring along to that party? Who do you want to spend those hours with? As we kind of wrap up here.
00:43:07
Speaker
My family has a big 4th of July party every year and it's super cool and fun because it's one of the longest freaking parties of the year. They have a 12-hour party. And you have to really think about it. You're like, okay, when do we tell people to show up? It doesn't get dark enough for fireworks, so about 9.30. My parents sometimes tell people to show up at noon. I'm like, mom, dad, who do you know that you want to spend nine and a half hours with?
00:43:34
Speaker
And I was like, you know, awkward silence. And they're like, yeah, I guess, you know, it just depends on what we're doing and kind of, you know, where it goes. And when we try to figure out who do we want that party, we kind of look at it in the same way. Who do you want to spend?
Conclusion and Invitation
00:43:52
Speaker
nine and a half hours with talking about life. Who do you want to have a beer with? And that just kind of is a great analogy for life. Who do you want in your journey with you and put your time, effort, energy into getting the right people and doing the right things?
00:44:07
Speaker
Yeah, well, I agree with that. It's important. You know, you're often the average of your five closest friends. And, and part of that is, choose wisely and listening to a podcast pretty recently, you know, when you talk about mentors,
00:44:25
Speaker
You can have online mentors, for instance, you know, I listen to a lot of podcasts. I know you do as well. Those are people you're spending time with. And those are people that their messages and their way of being and their why is in your head.
00:44:38
Speaker
And it's okay also to not have your five closest friends immediately. What I'm learning is it's more so you're curating. And as you kind of go through life, it's okay not to have all five right at the start. And I'm working on a book with
00:44:56
Speaker
what I believe will be one of them, and she's phenomenal. I'm trying not to relay some of that info here just yet, but I'm really excited about some of the content coming from that as well. Surround yourself with phenomenal people.
00:45:11
Speaker
Well, listen, guys, we thank you so much. Please hit the subscribe if this is a podcast. If you're watching us on YouTube, you could see some of the adventures that were going on on the video. Live, laugh, love. Live, laugh, love. Be, pray, love. Connect, discover and inspire. We want to connect with you. Inspire greatness in others and yourself. Yes. All right, guys. Thanks a lot.