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Ep. 43: Indecision is a decision/Motorcycle Diaries
33 Plays1 year ago
Do you hate making decisions? Would you like to be more #decisive? Join Stephy Steph and Bobby as they adventure on their motorcycles and have conversations about making decisions about things big and small.
#decisions
#motorcyclediaries
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Transcript
Introduction of the Episode
00:00:00
Speaker
Yeah, sure. Hey guys, I'm Suhie Southam. This is Bobby, and we are doing a episode of Motorcycle Diary. That's right. We're on the motorcycles. You're on your Ducati. The OG, the original Ducati. What's special about your Ducati? Got a tourney. Yeah, it does.
00:00:20
Speaker
I had a fancy little exhaust on. I'm on the BMW GS list and
Materialism Concerns for 2024
00:00:24
Speaker
stuff. It is the last day of 2023 and we had one of our viewers kind of, I put something out there and said, what are you going to try to do in 2024? And they said they want to stop worrying about having stuff. How do you wrap your mind around that? Is that something you struggle with or have you figured that out? Yeah, I definitely haven't figured it out yet. I think it's, I think having some stuff matters.
00:00:47
Speaker
Yeah, you know, we found that out on many of our adventures.
Exploring East Dallas
00:00:51
Speaker
Peru comes to mind about having a shelter and food is good. But beyond the, we're in East Dallas here. We're in this really, is this Bishop Arts District that we're at? Yeah, this is Bishop Arts. There's usually a lot of traffic, which, watch no advanced green here. Just tell me when you're going to go.
00:01:13
Speaker
So I agree having some stuff.
The Burden of Ownership on Happiness
00:01:15
Speaker
I got to a point in my life, yep, Roger, I got to a point in my life I had too much stuff and I really thought stuff would bring me joy and the more stuff I got the more complicated my life became.
00:01:28
Speaker
have you stopping yeah and just watch girl pedestrian in front pedestrian in front it's wonderful communicating with motorcycle helmets whilst motorcycling it's actually i can't imagine people recycling in a group without heaven coughs so are you at the point where you've had too
Desires vs. Complexity of Life
00:01:46
Speaker
much stuff that cluttered your life or you do you do well no i'm i'm at the point where i want more stuff i'm not i'm not looking i'm not on the mountain looking down kind of fantastic experiences
00:01:57
Speaker
For me, I'm just, I'm looking ahead and I'm not a spot in my life where I'm willing to acquire specific things. Okay. Do you want to talk about? It would complicate your life. Uh, no, not necessarily. I don't, uh, I just, you know, I think they're pretty standard things. Yeah. Uh, for me, I, you know, they're just things that I want, uh, in life in general. And when you're talking about wins enough enough, well,
00:02:26
Speaker
That's a million dollar question. If someone tells you X is enough but you've always wanted Y, then maybe you've got to have Y before you can realize that, hey, I did or didn't need it. Yeah. We just drove past a Porsche 911 for my entire life. Well, from the age of 12 on. I've wanted a Porsche 911 and I've never had one.
00:02:49
Speaker
And for a variety of reasons, I didn't do it. I don't know if that's good or bad. I had a kind of a fancier car that complicated my life and it actually took away joy. And I actually got rid of it because of that reason. Have you ever really wanted something and you got it and you're like, well, that was dumb. I just don't think I've had enough years of a result to really experience that. You know, I'm only
00:03:15
Speaker
three and a half, four years out into practice. I've paid off my student loans. I've been able to travel a lot. Definitely wrapping up the experiences. My big purchases have been a place to live. It's a motorcycle and a Jeep Rubicon. I think I'm doing okay.
00:03:38
Speaker
You really don't know what you want or you need and you don't need unless you have experience when it's done or you're friended.
Experiential Learning vs. Standard Advice
00:03:46
Speaker
You know what? I was just going to say you're very much an experiential learner, right? I don't think I'm that way. I really want to learn about it in a book and then make a decision and then I get it and I'm like, well, here's your favorite taqueria right here. I think part of my being an experiential learner is I think about the world so differently than most people.
00:04:07
Speaker
And your standard advice will work for your standard human who thinks about life in a standard way. But when you really have an odd view of the world and of kind of, you know, where you want your life to go and it's just so different, I think you're almost at a disadvantage because you kind of have to be an experiential learner because you'll, you stand to not be, I don't know, fulfilled with standard advice.
Recognizing the Good Old Days
00:04:36
Speaker
You know, there was some quote from the TV show, The Office. One of the guys is like, wouldn't it be awesome if you knew these were the good old days when they were the good old days? Does that tie in at all? Not really. Well, I just wanted to say that quote. I know. Well, well, except that, you know, as I heard you talk there, sometimes you don't realize what you've got until it's gone. Yeah, no, that's exactly an experiential learner. Yeah. Because if you if you
00:05:05
Speaker
If you allow a lack of certain experiences to torment you, it's really a tough go. And you also have to think of kind of what you're, you know, you have to really, I think you've got to have somewhat of a grasp on who you are and where you want to go in life. And, you know, the standard advice is not one size fits all. You know, I couldn't even be more true.
00:05:30
Speaker
Well, and when I hear you say that, you know, understanding yourself, that's really hard because sometimes you, you just don't get that right. And then understanding where you want to go, you know, a lot of times that can be wrong too. You know, how many times have we kind of looked at something and went, Oh man, I really want to do this. And you do it and you go, aye, aye, aye, aye. But what I can say though, is what I have learned is that indecision is a decision.
Decisiveness and Conscious Choices
00:05:58
Speaker
Oh, I know. Yeah. And even though you may make the wrong choice, I think going forward, I would rather, I think it's going to be easier for me going forward in big decisions to make the wrong choice, but to make a conscious choice about it than to stand in the wake of indecision. Yeah. I love what you say there. And that's actually one of my favorite quotes. And we will never have 100% of the information.
00:06:28
Speaker
And if it's a kind of a low risk decision that, you know, you can make it without having a whole lot. These people are kind of funny. They're just looking at our motorcycle. What on earth is going on there? Yeah. Have you gotten better at making decisions more quickly? No, but I've gotten more fed up with the experience of indecision and the torment that comes with that.
00:06:57
Speaker
You know, you'd almost rather just face the consequences of a bad one and sit there and torment and indecisiveness. Yeah, and I've been at a point in my life where I would just let decisions ruminate and ruminate and then I'd catastrophize kind of the bad outcomes. Yeah, you're trying to make a perfect decision. Yeah. That's going to be great for you or for people around you. And you really just, you're not playing with all the marbles. You just don't, there's a lot of things, I think you call them unknown unknown.
00:07:27
Speaker
That will always complicate the consequences of that decision. For me, what I have learned is there is something to looking at a decision to be made and giving it an appropriate amount of time, but realizing, man, you are going to waste years of your life in common because you're holding out for the perfect moment or the perfect setup.
00:07:57
Speaker
Well, and on that, you know, what's the cost? There is a cost. There's a cost to indecision. There's a cost to decisions. You do X. The cost is Y. And just figuring that out. And maybe to wrap a bow on it, does jealousy or comparison kind of, you know, I look at that and say, man, that's probably the biggest challenge there that you see. I think it's really hard to not compare yourself to others.
Jealousy vs. Collaboration
00:08:27
Speaker
I'm reading a book on evolution of our species. It's probably how we survived, right? Competition happens everywhere, whether you want to or not. Nature is competition. The thing that makes us most human is our ability to be
00:08:57
Speaker
collegial and altruistic and what advanced their evolution beyond, quicker beyond the pace that competition will advance it, is collaboration. And jealousy dismantles your ability to collaborate with others. And so even though jealousy is born out of something very natural
00:09:26
Speaker
Uh, such as competition or kind of thinking like, oh, and actually I would say jealousy is a very human thing because you have to be aware to be jealous of somebody. Yeah. If you don't have awareness, you're probably not going to be jealous. Yeah. I agree with that. And, uh, you know, it's some of that survival, but I guess you look at it and say, is this taken away from my life? And oddly enough, a lot of the competitive mechanisms in nature are subconscious. Yeah. They're, they're at the cellular level.
00:09:55
Speaker
And you look at it like, wow, they're not aware that they're competing. They just see a problem and they're trying to adapt or evolve and lock stuff in order to survive. Well, and you look at an extreme example, fasting, the body fasts. You certainly are going to have all the cells kind of in competition for. And so when you start to look at jealousy and kind of why you're jealous and the etiology of it,
00:10:25
Speaker
You can look at one of the ideological factors is a competitive sense of it all. You want to compete to win and that is sometimes a zero-sum game because if you're trying to survive, yeah, you better compete. But if you're trying to thrive, you need to learn to collaborate and there's a difference.
Accumulating Stuff vs. Experiences
00:10:54
Speaker
I think it's hard not to want a whole lot of stuff and stuff will complicate your life. That's what I've learned. You know, you talked about you're still in kind of the accumulating stuff, accumulating experience mode. And I'm in the mode of saying, gosh, I accumulated a bunch of stuff and there's a cautionary tale there for sure. Well, anything else to end us off, Steph? Man, you know, I don't know. That's what I got.
00:11:23
Speaker
got and I guess life's just an experience and you just got to get in there figure it out do an assessment one of the things I love this is December 31st right now 2023 I love a year-end to kind of look back and say would I do well but want to change maybe that's the next episode it's a time for reflection all right guys well listen thanks for joining us if you like we're talking about hit the subscribe bye