Become a Creator today!Start creating today - Share your story with the world!
Start for free
00:00:00
00:00:01
Ep. 34: Motorcycle diaries - Being uncomfortable
41 Plays1 year ago
Join Stephy Steph and Bobby on the motorcycles today as they chat about comfort and uncomfortability (yes perhaps a made-up word but it fits). Should being uncomfortable be embraced or feared? Give a list, especially at the end to hear Steph's sweet sounding exhaust.
Recommended
Transcript
Introduction and Current Motorcycles
00:00:00
Speaker
Hey there guys, I'm Steffi Stuff and this is Bobby and we are on an episode of Motorcycle Diaries. Motorcycle Diaries, what are you riding right now Steffi? I don't know, some sore buns, that's what I'm riding. You're riding your Ducati, I'm on BMW GS, our kind of big adventure bike.
00:00:18
Speaker
It is Dallas. We got some beautiful temperatures, but a little bit of rain every now and then. Listen, I want to talk about something, I was going to say fun, but I'm not sure it's fun. Man, the smells are amazing down here. This smells, we are in deep Ellum in Dallas.
Dallas Weather and Scents of Deep Ellum
00:00:34
Speaker
One of the amazing things before we get into our talk, that one of the coolest things about a motorcycle is you... Oh my gosh, that does look awesome.
Handling Emotional Confrontation
00:00:44
Speaker
you get to smell the smells some of the smells are great some are bad we're going through like barbecue territory right now oh my gosh it makes me so want uh barbecue anyways i want to talk about um what did i say we're gonna talk about i keep forgetting uncomfortability what what makes you uncomfortable
00:01:11
Speaker
I am still uncomfortable with confrontation, but I can be a lot more specific now. I'm uncomfortable when it comes to emotional confrontation.
00:01:32
Speaker
I don't feel worthy, or I don't feel confident in what I'm going to discuss with the other person, or I am just so wrapped up in getting it wrong. And I'm more of an avoided person with respect to that. Now, what I would say, Steph, I think a lot of people would say exactly what you said. I think most people dread confrontation.
00:01:58
Speaker
But why? Why do we have to dread it? And why are we not teaching people better fuel sets and tools to... You know, you've got a friend that we've talked about that has no filter. She confronts everybody on every single topic that I think is out there. Watch right car coming out, car coming out. So there's probably, you know, a pendulum swing of never saying anything
00:02:25
Speaker
going to the extreme of, you know, taking everything to heart and being bothered by absolutely everything will probably not serve you well. I like kind of the sense of figuring out when the juice is worth the squeeze, you know, when you need to say something.
Staying Curious and Trying New Solutions
00:02:42
Speaker
Is there anything you're doing to help you on that journey? Yeah, I guess just continuing to be curious and keep turning over rocks kind of thing, figuring out
00:02:52
Speaker
different ways to look at the same issue. I love that saying, turning over rocks. Just trying things out, see how it works. Yeah, because it's just, it's not, I feel like, especially with something like, oh, I hate confrontation or I'm not great at confrontation. You know, when people hear that there's two main different groups. One group writes you off as they're like, well, you're just not cut out for. Yeah. So that's okay. And that's ridiculous.
00:03:22
Speaker
Oh, why? Why?
Leadership Skills and Comfort Zones
00:03:24
Speaker
No! Listen, no. I agree with them. I'm on that side. If you can't confront people appropriately when it's needed, you better sit down. Well, I don't think you believe that. And... Well, I'm trying to get a rise out of you a little bit. Right, right. I think leadership is a learned skill set and it's honed years and years and years. Takes time. Yes.
00:03:48
Speaker
And it doesn't mean that you can't have phenomenal young leaders, though. Yeah. Do you care what I would say as far as what makes me uncomfortable? You're terrible. You know, riding motorcycles actually was in part of me just saying, I need to get out of my comfort zone. You know, it's goofy riding motorcycles.
00:04:13
Speaker
I think so. I think just a little bit makes sense. Really? Really? Yawning? Wow. Wow. Eat a coffee? Yeah. No, I mean like it's uh... Yeah, confrontation is super tough and it's different levels of challenge depending on who you're around.
Learning from Confrontations and Interactions
00:04:36
Speaker
And it really made me take a hard look at myself as far as just realizing
00:04:41
Speaker
Man, I do not have the confidence that I thought I did when it comes to really interacting because I've had a lot of negative interactions when I'm confronting people. Well, and what I would say, yes. And do you learn from those? Well, I think you have to be very careful what you take away from each learning opportunity or failure.
00:05:09
Speaker
So you might take away the wrong lesson. And one of the things I like talking about is when you have two messy people having a confrontation, you're probably going to get a pretty messy outcome. Are you talking about us? Is that what you're inferring? You just need to be careful of the lesson that you glean from it. Agree. And, you know, I
00:05:35
Speaker
When I did my MBA just remember my motorcycles wider than your motorcycle. I think I'm good. I'm good. Oh, I don't have the boxes on. I forgot about that.
00:05:50
Speaker
You can see my motorcycles, they're narrow and you could do stuff and stuff is really good at navigating a path, especially in downtown Dallas. Watch these pedestrians on the right. Yeah, I see them. This one dude's got red Adidas tracksuit. I love, I wish I was cool enough to pull off a red Adidas tracksuit. Lights changing up. Let's figure out going, going.
Self-awareness and Leadership
00:06:17
Speaker
During my MBA, we spend a lot of time on leadership styles, communication, and self-awareness. And if you're not kind of self-aware on the impact you're having on others around you, you're not going to be set up for success. Yeah, I would agree with that. Yeah, I mean, it's tough.
00:06:46
Speaker
Hey, so are you going to be that politician we've talked about where you're more astute at how you affect others and therefore, you know, you're going to be much better at controlling responses and the actions of people. But then you got to trust that the person who has those social skills also has the right leadership qualities to put the right people in the right position. And that's the trick because I think
00:07:15
Speaker
knowing which people belong where is a different leadership skill set going left here, then just simply, and it's not a simple skill, but it's an effective one, versus someone that is very astute at the art of social dynamics. Does the younger generation care too much about things? Oh, geez, watch that guy. That's a nice color of car. That's such a broad statement. I would have to have it be more clearly defined.
00:07:47
Speaker
Um, I think every generation has things they care about. They've got, yeah, sacred cows. Okay. We're going to lose a lane up here. I think, um, yes. And I think that's the, that's the blessing and the curse of generational change. You know, yeah, I think, uh, it just,
00:08:13
Speaker
Yeah, it necessitates this. You are really
Navigating Dallas and Diplomatic Skills
00:08:16
Speaker
good at driving around downtown Dallas. Thanks. I get confused. Every time I think, Steph, you're going the wrong direction, I'm like, oh wait, no, this is the right direction. That's funny. You're really good at driving around downtown Dallas. One thing I have learned is, and I haven't learned it real well, is to shut my mouth every now and then and give it a moment of time
00:08:41
Speaker
And when you think you're so darn sure about something and you pause, then you're like, oh, I was not correct on that. Anyways, I digress. So what else makes you uncomfortable? Oh, my main thing is just kind of. Because I would say most people look at you. You're a motorcycle driving. I don't know why this guy's flashing his lights up there ahead of us.
00:09:11
Speaker
You know, you ride motorcycles, you play hockey. Yeah. You know, I think a lot of people would look at you and think there's not many things that make Stephanie our ganner uncomfortable. Yeah. You know, there definitely are. And like I said, those diplomacy, nuanced situations are what I'm really turning a keen eye to because it's
00:09:39
Speaker
It's not easy. And I think most people don't have a sense of what's going on with other people. You know, you see something. I talk about this a lot when you're such a twit. I'm getting all kinds of hand signals right now. It's funny. OK, you go first. Left third, half third. All right, watch. OK, signals are great, but I digress.
00:10:07
Speaker
you keep me in suspense sometimes remember that whole part about sometimes you just gotta shut your mouth exactly well you know i'm a work in progress my gosh what the heck's going on up here um motorcycles are always an adventure uh what did you say it was making you uncomfortable oh i just said when it comes to kind of um
00:10:34
Speaker
It's not that being diplomatic makes me uncomfortable. What makes me uncomfortable is how sometimes terrible I am at it. Is it a melody? Well, it's a certain set of skills that I've just never had to acquire in order to be successful in life. You get to a point in life, I think, where you start to look beyond where you're at and you're like, man, I'm going to have to create
00:11:04
Speaker
the toolbox because what I've got right now, it's not going to get it done.
Adapting to Change and Avoiding Isolation
00:11:08
Speaker
Yeah. It makes me think of that book. Uh, what got you here won't get you there. And that was this super Tupperware. Right. And the uncomfortability is in that you realize how one thing you are. You may realize, you know, you go from a have to a have not.
00:11:30
Speaker
based on a different set of criteria that you're finding for yourself. Would you agree with this statement? If you don't change, the rest of the world's going to change around you and you'll get left behind. Is that a fair statement? I have a group of people that want to stay there with you. I don't think you'll be, depending on the severity of the change either way, because change makers are alone too. Depends on when and what you're changing.
00:11:58
Speaker
We talked about, I don't know, with Dr. Brett Kessler, we talked about also, what is it? Not ditch digging, but what, it was having like a trench or something or staying in a rut and decorating that rut and making it really pretty. You have neighbors probably, people that want you to stay there. That's sort of getting out of the rut. Yeah, and so whether you don't change or whether you change tremendously, you can definitely find that you're
00:12:27
Speaker
you're isolated at times until you find that niche and that's where having that intrinsic motivation really comes into play and it really is one of the necessary skill sets I think you need to be an innovator and to be a changemaker.
Living Life Adventurously and Sign-off
00:12:42
Speaker
Yeah, well here's going to be the push as we close off, get out of the rut or if you're happy in a rut, decorate it
00:12:50
Speaker
that otherwise get out of your rut, make some things happen, be self-aware, work on your lyric. Thank you guys for joining us on... Oh, here we go. We're actually going to give a little bit of recording of this. Maybe open your helmet if it's not open, Steffie. Steffie has a fancy motorcycle exhaust. We're in a parking garage right now that really lets that sweet sound.
00:13:21
Speaker
That's a nice Ducati. How do you termy as a termigoni? It's a termignoni. I know you're fancy right there. Anyways guys, thanks for joining us. Hope you like motorcycle diaries. Get out there and get it. It doesn't have to be a motorcycle. If you're in a rut, I'll push you to get out of that rut. Get out there and live. Batter decorated. Batter decorated. But we push you to live a life best lived. Alright guys, later.