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Why Ambitious Working Moms Struggle to Stick With Their Goals When Life Gets Busy — and What Actually Helps
68 Plays2 months ago
When life gets busy, even the most successful executive moms can find themselves quietly drifting away from their goals, not because they don’t care, but because the strategies they’ve been taught are missing some important mindset components.
In this episode, executive coach Leanna breaks down why motivation fades when life gets full, what’s actually happening beneath the surface, and what truly helps you stay connected to your goals without relying on perfection or burnout. If you want sustainable progress that works with your life rather than not against it, this episode is for you.
Join Leanna for the January Reset, where you’ll learn new strategies and be supported in achieving your 2026 goals.
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Transcript
Introduction to the Podcast and Host
00:00:04
Speaker
Welcome to the Executive Coach for Moms podcast, where we support women who are attempting to find balance and joy while simultaneously leading people at work and at home.
00:00:14
Speaker
I'm your host, Leanna Lasky-McGrath, former tech exec turned full-time mom, recovering perfectionist and workaholic, and certified executive coach.
00:00:26
Speaker
Hi, everyone. Welcome back to the show. Thank you so much for being here today in this second week of 2026. I hope that you are feeling a little bit rested and refreshed from the holiday break. Although I know with little ones running around, that's not always the reality, but I'm sure we are all back in our routines and getting back in the swing
Goal Setting for 2026 and Personal Growth
00:00:51
Speaker
of things. So maybe now you're really starting to look ahead and think about your goals for 2026 Maybe you're already in the practice of them. Or i think from a lot of people I've talked to, just kind of the way that New Year's fell this year, they're feeling like, yeah, I'm going to wait till next week to really get started on my goals because I needed a week to just kind of regroup.
00:01:15
Speaker
And so if you're there, that's great too. So I want to talk a little bit more about goal setting. Last week, I talked about a goal setting process and really focused on looking back at 2025 and seeing what we can learn from it seeing where things went well or it didn't go so well and just kind of evaluating to learn for this year what we might want to do. So for this year, for 2026, you may have a wide range of goals and there's no wrong goal to have. Honestly, it's like, what do you feel?
00:01:49
Speaker
is right for you for this year, what feels important for you. Regardless of what your goal is, I think that it is so important for us to have goals because when we set an intention for the year, when we say, this is what is important to me, this is what I'm going to focus on, then that gives us the opportunity to actually create
Challenges in Sticking to Goals
00:02:11
Speaker
it. when we just kind of like let things happen and hope for the best, it might turn out well, but the best way for us to get what we want is to determine what we want, tell people about it and work towards it.
00:02:25
Speaker
So I know that goals are pretty natural for us as high achieving women and I also know that as moms, they might feel like it's a lot harder to achieve them. And so today i really want to talk about why goals feel easier in January and harder as the year goes on and maybe not even harder, but maybe we just kind of slowly, quietly abandon those goals and then also give you some tangible things that you can implement this year to help you to stay on track for your goals. And if you haven't signed up yet for the January reset for high achieving women, this is one of the things that we're going to be talking about a lot is really, how do we stay on track for our goals? How do we stay connected to what's
Importance of Daily Habits and Micro Decisions
00:03:21
Speaker
important to us? How do we not fall off whenever life happens as it inevitably does every year? So first off, I talked a little bit about this last week, but I really want to dive a little bit deeper into the idea that in order to make our goals happen, we need to really focus on what are the daily habits and decisions that I need to make in order to make this goal happen. And who do I need to be as I'm making these decisions? So I'm just going to use an example of fitness because i think a lot of times we'll set some kind of wellness or health or fitness related goal. it might be about what we eat. I'm just going to talk about exercising.
00:04:08
Speaker
And maybe our goal is that maybe we want to sign up for a marathon or some kind of race, or we want to lose a certain amount of weight, or we want to increase the amount of weight that we can lift. Whatever it might be, what I'm going to talk about applies to any kind of goal. I'm just using this as an example so we can talk tangibly about it. So my big goal might be one of those things. And in reality, the way that I get to that goal is through hundreds of micro decisions every single day.
00:04:38
Speaker
So let's say that I have an exercise related goal. then when my alarm goes off at 530, I... i I have to make a decision of, am I going to get out of bed and go to the gym and do my workout? Or am I going to stay in bed and hit the snooze button? Am I going to snooze all the way through that workout? Or am I going to snooze partway through it and then have a shorter workout? That's a decision. And then when I get to my workout, how hard do I want to go? How much effort do I want to put in? That's a decision that we make as well. And then when I get home from my workout, What do I want to eat to refuel myself? What kind of food do I want to make? Did I prepare something in advance? Do I need to spend some time making something now? Am I going to just pick up something at the drive-thru on the way to work? Or am I just going to skip it altogether? And then throughout the day, how much water am I drinking?
00:05:36
Speaker
When my water bottle is out, am I going to take myself away from my desk and go refill it? Or am I going to stay at my desk and say, oh let me just finish these five more emails. And then throughout the day, when am I going to take a break or a rest? When am I going to have snacks? What am I going to do about lunch? And then whenever we get home, what are my evening routines? How am I spending that time? And what time am I going to bed? Am I going to go lay down at the time that I decided
00:06:09
Speaker
And am I going to try to go to sleep or am I going to scroll on my phone for an hour before I fall asleep? All of these things are decisions that we make throughout the day, every single day, hundreds and hundreds of decisions. And a lot of them are really tiny. So I think that goals are actually met or missed.
00:06:28
Speaker
in those moments, in all of those micro decisions. And we might downplay them. We can downplay them all we want. We can say, well, it doesn't really matter if I have my 10 a.m. m granola bar or if I skip it or if I have a cupcake instead. But all of those little decisions add up and they either move us in the direction of our goal or they move us away from our goal.
00:06:55
Speaker
And so why is it that we know what we want and we know the right decisions to make, we know what we should be doing and we don't do it. Why? Let's talk about that. And i think it's important to talk about because I think so often we put so much pressure on ourselves and we shame ourselves and we think something is wrong with us whenever we aren't doing the things that we know we should be doing and that we want to be doing. And so I just want to talk about this a little bit because I think it's really important.
Brain Functions in Goal Achievement
00:07:28
Speaker
We have different parts of our brain. We have our prefrontal cortex. which is responsible for planning and visioning and looking out into the future and generating excitement about something that we want to do at some future time. And so whenever we are setting our goals, we're really activating our prefrontal cortex because It is the place in our brain then that's responsible for impulse control and just being able to look longer term than just right here in this moment. So we activate that prefrontal cortex and that is the part of our brain that is really excited about this big goal that we have. And then we have this other part of our brain called the amygdala. It's also called the toddler brain or the primitive brain or the lizard brain.
00:08:15
Speaker
And that part of our brain is very much about the immediate moment. And it is not able to do the long-term thinking and planning that our prefrontal cortex is doing. That's why I like to call it the toddler brain, because it acts very much like a toddler. Like right now, that's all I'm thinking about. i just need to solve for this moment. And this Part of our brain, the amygdala is rolled by the motivational triad, which the three things it's trying to do are to avoid pain, to seek pleasure and to conserve energy.
00:08:50
Speaker
Always. This is how our brain is wired. And this is part of having a human brain. And so what ends up happening is we set the plan. We say, I'm going to wake up.
00:09:02
Speaker
three mornings a week or five mornings a week, and I'm going to go to the gym or I'm going to go to my home gym or I'm going go for a run. And we make the plan and then our alarm goes off and we don't want to do it. And first of all, that is completely normal.
00:09:18
Speaker
It happens to everybody. But what happens in January or at the beginning of a thing that you're doing is that you're so excited about it that prefrontal cortex will override the amygdala more often.
00:09:32
Speaker
It'll kick in and be like, oh yeah, but I'm so excited. i know I don't want to get up, but this is the thing I'm doing. I'm going to go do this thing. And so it's a lot easier to override that amygdala. What happens though, as we get further away from that goal setting process is is over time that kind of starts to fade away. So early on, the desire is high.
00:09:55
Speaker
You really want the thing. You've just done the goal planning. You've set the plan and you're so excited. And your prefrontal cortex is like so activated and so excited for this goal that you have set.
00:10:07
Speaker
And so whenever the amygdala inevitably has something to say, it's just like overruled immediately. And it is a lot easier to just get out of bed and go do the thing that you said you were going to do. But as time goes on and you get further away from that goal setting process where your prefrontal cortex was so activated and so excited, your amygdala starts to get louder and it starts to win out over the prefrontal cortex.
00:10:38
Speaker
And it's also really smart. You're a really smart person. Your brain works really well, right? And so it's really good at detecting patterns that have worked in the past.
00:10:51
Speaker
So it kind of knows what's going to work for you. If it's like, no, this bed is so cozy and warm and it's cold out there then it's going to run that program. If the program that it runs that usually works for you is, oh, but like you'll show up better at work today if you get an hour more of sleep or like you'll be so much more patient if you get some more sleep. And so it's going to try all these things. It's going to keep on offering you reasons to do what it wants to do. And it's not because you're lazy. It's not because there's something wrong with you. It's because that motivational triad is always there. It's always going to be there. That amygdala wants what's best for you, but it believes that what is best for you is to seek pleasure and to avoid pain and to conserve energy. And so that's what you're trying to do. It's just trying to get you to see it my way. This is what we should be doing. We should really not be getting out of bed right now. We should really not be going and doing the thing. because it is way less comfortable out there. And it's going to take way more energy and there's probably going to be some pain involved. And it's so much more pleasurable just to lay here, even though, you know, in your heart of hearts and in your prefrontal cortex, that the real pleasure is in meeting those goals and honoring yourself into doing the thing that you said you were going to do. But what happens a lot of times over time, like I said, as we move further and further away from that goal is that amygdala gets louder.
00:12:28
Speaker
And then also what also happens, especially for moms, is that life is going to inevitably intervene. Your kids are going to get sick. You're going to have big things come up at work or a last minute travel that you have to do, or maybe one of your parents gets a diagnosis. Things will come up.
00:12:49
Speaker
throughout the year that is going to happen. And i think that a lot of times we believe that we have to have perfect circumstances in order to be able to create what we want to create. And the reality is, is that we are never going to have perfect circumstances. That's not going to be the case. And we might want to say, okay, well maybe when the kids go off to college, right? And it's like, okay, well, do I want to wait 10 more years or however many more years to live the kind of life I want to live.
00:13:19
Speaker
So as our attention shifts, as we start to focus on these other things that come up, we stop focusing as much on the goal. And then a lot of times, let's just be honest, on the weekends when we're planning our week, maybe we don't take the time to do that, or maybe we don't schedule in the workouts. And so then you know we go to set our alarm and we're just like, ugh, I don't want to get up at 530. Who wants to get up at 530? I just want to keep sleeping.
00:13:47
Speaker
And as we do this, and as our attention shifts, our decisions start to move back into the moment. We're no longer making those decisions ahead of time. We're no longer activating our prefrontal cortex as much as it relates to this goal. And so therefore our amygdala has a chance to come in, get a lot louder and start to make really convincing arguments of why we shouldn't do this this uncomfortable thing. And I think it's important just to know that everyone is experiencing this.
00:14:18
Speaker
You don't get to a point where you work out five days a week and you never have a morning where your brain tells you to stay in bed. And yeah, I would say it probably does get a little bit easier just because it's a routine and it's part of what you do every day. And it's just part of who you are. But that doesn't mean that you never have days where your amygdala acts up and says like, man, it'd be so much less work just to stay in bed. That's still going to happen. And I think that we believe that like there's something wrong with us when that happens. And that's just not true.
00:14:54
Speaker
It's just our human brains. So I think that instead of believing I'm lazy or I can't stick to things or other people have something that I don't, the truth is that the only difference is that they are reconnecting to that goal.
00:15:14
Speaker
more often than you are, or they've done it more recently than you have. And yeah the circumstances might be tough, right? There are some tough circumstances in the world and the circumstances are not the ones deciding how you live your life. You get to decide how you want to live your life. So to give you some very tangible takeaways, right?
Reducing Decision Fatigue
00:15:38
Speaker
Number one is to make decisions ahead of time. What I mean by that is like decide when your prefrontal cortex is activated rather than deciding when your amygdala is activated. Because when you can remove decision making from the moment as much as possible, then you're going to remove the friction as well. So maybe on Sunday, you put all of your workouts for the week on the calendar. and you put specific plans in. And i think that the reason that this works is because it reduces decision fatigue. And also it really allows you to make those decisions from the part of your brain that is most aligned with your highest good and your highest intentions and your goals for yourself. You do not want to be making your decisions with your amygdala.
00:16:27
Speaker
That's like letting a toddler run your life. mean, you'll still have to actually physically get yourself to do it. But you know, once you start to build that muscle of like, no, no, no, no.
00:16:41
Speaker
Listen, toddler brain, we already made this decision and we're going to do this. We're going to do this thing. Thank you for your feedback. Okay, so takeaway number two is to revisit your goals regularly. What happens is whenever we are so amped up at the beginning of the year, it's because we're thinking about our goals. And so this is a practice.
00:17:04
Speaker
We cannot assume that motivation is just going to sustain
Maintaining Motivation and Handling Resistance
00:17:08
Speaker
itself. We need to stay connected to our goals and to the why behind our goals. Why does this matter? So take some time and And regularly throughout the year to check in with yourself and ask yourself, why is this goal so important to me? How is this going to benefit me? How is this going to benefit my family and those I love?
00:17:32
Speaker
If you only do that in January, then you should expect to not meet your goal. Because you need to emotionally connect to that goal regularly throughout the year. So maybe that's a monthly practice for you. Maybe that's a weekly practice or a bi-weekly practice.
00:17:48
Speaker
Shorter, more consistent check-ins are going to be a lot more effective in keeping you going than the once a year goal setting. The takeaway number three is to expect resistance.
00:18:01
Speaker
Expect that when you're You have made a plan for yourself. When you go to do the plan, there's a part of you that isn't going to want to do it and remind yourself that nothing has gone wrong. This is a part of the process.
00:18:12
Speaker
This is a part of meeting your goals. Resistance does not mean failure. It just means that you're doing something new and you need to start to build the muscle of noticing those thoughts that your brain is offering you without agreeing with them. Or maybe you even do agree with them. Yeah, it would be more comfortable to lay in bed, but you know what? That's not what we're doing. But that is a muscle that is so important to build. Some people will call it discipline. And I think it's an exercise in awareness of just like, oh yes, there it is. Of course my toddler brain wants to stay in bed.
00:18:49
Speaker
Of course it does. Who wouldn't? It's not a problem. And now I get to decide just because my brain is offering me that it doesn't mean anything about myself. It doesn't mean I'm lazy. It doesn't mean I'm not cut out for this. It doesn't mean I can't meet my goal. It simply is a normal human response to what's happening right now.
00:19:09
Speaker
Then the fourth thing I want to offer is that life is going to happen. Of course it's going to happen. And we get to decide what we want to do about that. I have definitely had many times where I let life circumstances keep me from meeting my goals. And I'm sure you have too. I'm sure we all have.
00:19:30
Speaker
And i think it's just an important thing to recognize that we have more power in that than what we sometimes might realize. we have the power to decide, am I going to let that thing throw me out completely and just abandon my goals? And I think often it doesn't feel conscious when we abandon our goals. It feels like we just quietly forget about them. And if that happens at some point throughout the year, you have the opportunity to bring yourself back.
00:20:02
Speaker
You don't have to stay away from your goal just because you got off track. Expect that you'll get off track at some point. I know it's hard to imagine at this moment when you feel so excited about your goal and so activated by it. But the reality is, is that things are going to come up this year that you aren't expecting, that you aren't aware of right now that aren't on your radar. And it's going to be hard to stay on track with your goals. And you are going to get to decide.
Flexibility and Reassessment of Goals
00:20:26
Speaker
You have the opportunity to, instead of just kind of quietly letting life take over, you have the opportunity to make a decision. You can say, you know what?
00:20:36
Speaker
i am going to decide that this circumstance requires my full attention. And so therefore I'm going to put my goal on pause. That's an option. You can totally do that. But I think that that's different than just quietly abandoning the goal and letting it fall by the wayside.
00:20:55
Speaker
and then not returning to it. Because when we intentionally do it, we can set a timeline for ourselves and say, okay, in two weeks, I'm going to circle back and check back in with this goal. Or maybe our practice has been that we have been going to the gym five days a week, and now some things come up. And so we reevaluate and reassess and say, you know what, Now I'm going to change that to two days a week for this period of time. So we have all kinds of options, but I think that what happens so often is that we tell ourselves a story that these life circumstances take away our options and that's where we lose our power.
00:21:33
Speaker
And this is exactly why i created the January reset for high achieving women, because I know how hard it is to stay on track whenever life knocks us out. I know exactly how it feels to start off the year. So energized and so excited about a goal and then have stuff come up.
00:21:52
Speaker
that feels insurmountable. it feels incongruent with the goal so that it's easier to just kind of quietly abandon the goal. And i don't want you to do that this year. I don't want to do it myself this year either.
00:22:05
Speaker
And so I created the January reset for high achieving women to bring together a group of amazing women so that number one, you can hear how normal these kinds of challenges are. That idea of, I know I have this goal, but whenever it comes to doing the thing, i don't want to do it. And I have a really hard time getting myself to do it. And so you will see me coaching people through that. You will hear about the challenges that they're facing, and you'll be able to be coached through that yourself as well, whenever it comes up for you, because I really want this to be the year that you make your dreams come true. That you move closer to the life that you want to be living. Because I want that for every woman. I want every woman to be living the life they want to live. And I know that that can feel really hard to create whenever we have so many circumstances that feel in opposition of that.
00:22:59
Speaker
And so I want to help you. to really figure out how do i not let those circumstances get in the way of what I truly want and desire.
Programs and Offers for Goal Achievement
00:23:08
Speaker
So if you are interested in joining the January reset, you can head on over to coachleana.com to get registered. And i have a special discount for my podcast listeners. Just enter the code podcast. We'll be coming together live weekly,
00:23:24
Speaker
We'll have a Facebook group where we can all connect with each other and support each other. i will be teaching a lot more. i know I teach a lot on this podcast, but I'll be able to go much more in depth on your specific things and on what other people in the group are experiencing. We'll also have live discussions with each other. And I'm just so excited to bring together this amazing curated group of women so that we can meet our goals for 2026.
00:23:53
Speaker
All right. Thanks so much, everybody. I hope to see you in the reset and have a great week. Bye.
00:24:04
Speaker
If you're loving what you're learning on this podcast, I'd love to invite you to check out the Executive Mom Reset. It's my six-month coaching program for ambitious, success-driven, career-focused women who are ready to stop surviving and start thriving.
00:24:20
Speaker
Together, we'll tackle the stress, guilt, and overwhelm that come with being a high-achieving executive mom. You'll learn how to set boundaries, prioritize what truly matters, and build the confidence to show up powerfully at work, at home, and for yourself.
00:24:34
Speaker
Head on over to CoachLeana.com right now. to schedule a free discovery call. We'll spend an hour talking about where you are now, what you wanna create, and how I can help you get there. Because every woman deserves to live the life of her dreams.
00:24:48
Speaker
Let's create yours together.