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Ep 04 Surrender & Obedience: Keys to Unlocking Your Boldness and Purpose
82 Plays1 year ago
In this episode, we dive deep into the power of surrender and obedience on your journey to boldness. I shared my personal story about overcoming fears and letting go of limiting beliefs. We explored how embracing intuition and listening to that inner GPS can lead to transformational change.
Remember, take small steps, stay curious, and make a list of what to surrender to unlock new possibilities. Your bold life awaits, and I'm here to support you every step of the way. Listen now, and keep living boldly!
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Transcript
Introduction and Celebration of Women's Power
00:00:00
Speaker
Welcome to the Evolution of Bold podcast, where we celebrate the power of women and their journey to greatness. I'm your host, Denise Johnson, also known as the boldness coach. I'm excited to take you on a journey of self-discovery, empowerment, and transformation. Whether you're just starting out or well into your journey, I'm here to guide you through the challenges, help you find your purpose, and to help you let go of anything that's holding you back.
00:00:26
Speaker
So take a deep breath, relax, and get ready to dive into some juicy topics that will inspire and empower you to find your level of bold and evolve into the best version of yourself.
00:00:40
Speaker
But before we get started, let's take care of a little bit of housekeeping. Make sure that you hit the subscribe button so that you can join a community of bold women who are transforming their lives. Make sure that you hit that notification button so that as new shows are released that you get notified.
00:00:59
Speaker
and also connect with us on social media. We want to hear your journey. We want to celebrate you on the journey. We want to support you on the journey. And also when you share, you inspire other women in the community to share their journey as well.
The Transformative Power of Surrendering
00:01:14
Speaker
So now that we got the housekeeping out of the way, let's get into the juicy topic of today.
00:01:20
Speaker
Hey Bold One, welcome back to another episode of the podcast show. I'm so glad that you are here. On today's topic, I'm talking about a transformative process that can essentially change your life and that can help you to identify with the unique calling on your individual life. And that process that I'm talking about is surrendering and being obedient.
00:01:51
Speaker
This topic is so near and dear to my heart because these two steps have helped me to really navigate myself on my evolution of bold journey. And in all honesty, I don't think that I would be here talking to you had I not tapped into these two specific areas.
00:02:12
Speaker
Make no mistake, it wasn't easy tapping into them. But as soon as I did, everything started to change immediately. So I'm excited to share some of my insights with you, as well as some of my stories about my transformation with each of these areas. So by the end of this podcast show, you're gonna have a clearer understanding of what surrendering means for you. I'm also gonna give you some insights and tips about what obedience really looks like and how to recognize it. And then ultimately how really being obedient
00:02:48
Speaker
to surrendering and to the calling of your life can put you in a place of being empowered in your life and also help you to get in alignment with your individual true life's calling.
00:03:01
Speaker
So now let's jump into the conversation. So first, let's talk about surrendering.
Navigating Personal Challenges through Surrender
00:03:08
Speaker
Now I wanna share this with you because surrendering is one of those things you know in in the culture and especially in the black culture. I hear a lot of people say, yeah, you just need to surrender and just give it over to God and just don't even worry about it. Perhaps that is an aspect of surrendering, but what I wanna talk to you about surrendering is really about letting go.
00:03:31
Speaker
This is really about you letting go of what no longer serves you. Letting go of beliefs, letting go of fears, um letting go of the anything that's holding you back, you know so that you can be able to be in a space of possibility. So many of us like to hold on to the familiar. Why do we want to hold on to the familiar? Because it's easy. Because it's what we know.
00:04:01
Speaker
And it's like, well, Vanise, why give up something that I know and that's comfortable for something that I don't know that I'm afraid of and probably is uncomfortable?
00:04:12
Speaker
Because the visions that you hold for yourself around career, money, relationships, health and wellness, finances, whatever it is, that vision that you hold for yourself, who you need to be is on the other side of your surrendering. Who you've been up until this point has gotten you here. Bravo, well done.
00:04:37
Speaker
But for the next level of that vision that you have for yourself, it is absolutely, unequivocally gonna require that you let go of some things. I wanna tell you a little story, and a little short story about, I remember when I was in my divorce journey and that process, the journey of that process, right? Divorce process. And I remember going to the therapist um one afternoon And it was raining, Northern California, Berkeley area, ah Chile outside because it was around October. I had started my divorce proceedings like in September. I think it was around October, November. But I just remember it being this really dull, ugly, cold, rainy, dreary day outside.
00:05:25
Speaker
And so I went into my appointment and we were having our normal, you know, exchanging conversation. And I said to my therapist, you know, I'm going through such a ah monumental change in my life. This is, I've never been through this before. And the things I used to do in my career are not working.
00:05:43
Speaker
You know, the money that I was used to making is not coming in. And I was like, I'm at a loss. Like, I don't even know the talents and gifts I have that were working at one particular point for me that made those other components, you know, really successful and work for me. They're not working anymore. And I'm i'm stuck. Like, what do I do to get back to who I used to be?
00:06:11
Speaker
And so the therapist looked at me and he said, Bernice, you know that woman, but you don't know this woman. And I was like looking at him and he said, I can help you, but I can't help you.
00:06:25
Speaker
Now y'all know, I said to you in the beginning, I was going to be transparent, vulnerable, and compassionate. So in my head, when I was thinking, oh, no, sir, I'm i'm paying you money by an hour. You're going to give me some strategy. You're going to help me get through this. and But what he was really telling me was that this was an inside job. And I looked at him and he looked at me.
00:06:50
Speaker
And that was the end of the session. So I walked out of the session. I just said, thank you. And I said, OK, I'm going to have to try to figure this out. I walked out of the session and I went across the street to Pete's Coffee. So for those of you that are outside the the california Northern California Bay Area, um Pete's Coffee you know is a competitor to Starbucks, right?
00:07:12
Speaker
And so I went across the street directly to Pete's Coffee and got me a ah cup of coffee and I sat in the window literally I think for what seemed like hours and I was just watching the rain come down and then I started crying because what I realized that what he had said to me was Vinesh, you're going to need to surrender to the old belief systems. You're going to need to release the fears you know that you might have for what is potentially on the other side. and he said i i I do believe that he was telling me that what has served you up until this point has served you very well.
00:07:52
Speaker
but that no longer works.
Listening to Intuition and Letting Go of Old Beliefs
00:07:54
Speaker
Because let me tell y'all, I was calling all of my, you know, regular customers and, you know, tapping into those contracts and those relationships. I was networking. When I tell you nothing was working, nothing was working. Everyone I had talked to had spoken with. They were like, Denise, we don't have anything. We don't have anything. We don't have anything. And I was not used to hearing that because everything in my life had been working like clockwork.
00:08:23
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And it just, it made me cry because I realized in that moment that the crying was about releasing. The cry wast crying wasn't necessarily about a lot of fear. There was some fear in there, but the crying was more about, wow, I really do get to release those parts of me that worked up until this point. And I get to open myself up to something brand new.
00:08:51
Speaker
And when I really said that out loud to myself, I took a deep sigh. And then of course I'm like, how do I know what's next for me? How do I know what's going to be the right direction for me? And when I finished my cup of coffee, you know, I left there after what seemed like hours of sitting there. And on my drive home, I was just asking myself that question. Like, I don't know where to begin and where to start.
00:09:19
Speaker
And I remember that evening, just going to bed, I was just exhausted because I felt like I had emptied myself out. you know And feeling that I had emptied myself out left room for something new to come in. And here I was, empty. So I just want you to think about that for a second. You have a vision for your life.
00:09:45
Speaker
whatever that is in whatever area of your life, you have a vision. What is it that you're holding on to that's keeping you from going into the next level in your life?
00:09:59
Speaker
So just think about that. Now I'm gonna come back to that question because I wanna continue on you know to the other point um in the podcast, right in this episode. And so now let's move into talking about obedience and let's define obedience. Obedience in this context is really about you listening to the inner voice, your intuition, the nudges, those intuitive hits,
00:10:26
Speaker
that tell you this is the right direction to go. Now, here's what some of us do, because I was one of them hard-headed people. And think of it, I'm going to use the example of GPS in the car. Now, you go in some place that you've never been before. You got on your best outfit. You've got your hair done, your makeup, your faces beat to the gods, right? And you got your outfit on. And you are just ready to get to that destination of the party, the wine event, hanging out with the girlfriends.
00:10:56
Speaker
going networking, whatever it is on the first date, you know, you just like you are dressed up and ready to go and you get in the car and you put in the GPS, you know, um points because you don't know where you're going. Right. And you get in, you get in your car and GPS is telling you and giving you turn by turn directions.
00:11:15
Speaker
And somewhere along the pathway, you tell yourself, oh, I know where I'm going. Oh, I know where this is. And you decide that you want to ignore the turn by turn directions that GPS is giving you. Anybody done that before?
00:11:33
Speaker
um That would be me raising my hand. and You decide to follow on your own direction. You decide to follow an old recall, an old way of being. you know two I'm going to figure this out and you go the opposite direction of what the GPS is telling you to go.
00:11:54
Speaker
And as you get further and further off direction, you run into traffic, you run into construction, you run into a closed street. And what do you say to yourself? Man, i should have I should have followed the GPS. It was telling me the right way to go. And nowadays, some of these GPS systems are so sophisticated, they will reroute you along the way so that, and they they're watching out ahead of you for traffic, for issues, for challenges, and they start to reroute you to get you to your destination timely as well as safely, right?
00:12:31
Speaker
That's what obedience is like. When you get those intuitive hits, it's telling you the right direction to go. And because it's an intuitive hit, because it's from your spirit, it's from your soul, it's from the divine, it's from God, it's from the source, whatever you want to call it, because it comes directly from there, it's already gone ahead of you to assess what you're going to need along the journey. And what you need will reveal itself as long as you have surrendered to the possibilities of what it could be and as long as you are obedient in the turn-by-turn instructions. So think about that for a second.
00:13:20
Speaker
Man, I wish somebody had told me this, you know, like 10 years ago, when I was going through the drama, a transition in my life, that, Venice, this is what really surrendering and obedience is about.
Practical Steps for Overcoming Fears
00:13:34
Speaker
And if they had broke it down for me like this, it would have gain it wouldve given me an analogy that I could not connect with and identify with. And if you listen back to episode 001, and it talks about um divine invitation, the birth of the boldness coach, you were him you will hear me go into detail about how I really was avoiding those intuitive hits. I was really being disobedient to the calling on the purpose of my life and how that kind of put me in the desert, you know, for 40 years. And that's an analogy. You know, I wasn't in there for 40 years, but I spent years, you know,
00:14:18
Speaker
in ah in a really journey of scarcity because I refused to be obedient to the calling on my life. I refused to be obedient to those little nudges that were coming up in my life that were guiding me. And and here's another thing, sometimes when I was obedient to those nudges, I was questioning the nudge.
00:14:39
Speaker
because things would unfold rather quickly and things would unfold with a with a sense of ease to it, right? And I would be like, oh, it can't be this easy. Oh, it can't be that simple because I was so used to create a drama. I was so used to having struggle. I was so used to operating you know in the space of fear, in the space of old beliefs until I couldn't really be able to embrace that life could be this good for me if I were to be obedient to the calling and if I were to surrender. So I just want you to think about that for a second. What you been fighting? I'm just gonna keep it playing and keep it 100. What are you fighting?
00:15:30
Speaker
What are you being disobedient about? And that intuitive nudge keeps coming at you. Some nudges just kind of come and go, but there are some that just stick with you and you're like, for the life of me, I can't get rid of this. Perhaps this is because it is a calling on your life.
00:15:47
Speaker
So take some time and really think about what is that nudge? And you're like, well, how do I know? So you said, OK, Vanish, you made some valid points. How do I know what is the process of surrender and obedience look look like? First things first with surrender. I want you to make a list. Make a list of things that you need to let go of.
00:16:10
Speaker
In my book, Boldisms, Disruptive Thoughts to Help You to Live Bold, Big, and Bad, one of the boldisms that I talk about is, at the beginning of the year, people make New Year's resolutions. They make a whole list of the things they are going to do and they want to do. But what they don't is they they don't do is they don't make a list of the things that they are no longer going to do.
00:16:34
Speaker
So I want you to stop and I want you to really go inward. Get yourself in a place where it's quiet, where you can be really focused on yourself. um Get a piece of paper and just start writing out you know things that you want to surrender. What are the fears that you have that you've been holding on to? What belief systems have you you been continually operating around in your life that are no longer serving you?
00:17:03
Speaker
And sometimes it's going to feel a little tough because you got to really intentionally focus your thoughts around these questions but and start writing them out no matter how little it seems or how big it seems or how ridiculous it seems, start writing it out. And then as you continue to write it out, then you're going to find it's going to come up. The answers are going to come up so fluently for you until you're going to be like, wow, I didn't know that was in the way. I didn't know that was in the way.
00:17:36
Speaker
And I would encourage you to spend some time doing that, but give yourself like maybe a short amount of time to do it. You determine what that time that short amount of time looks like for you, because it may be really tough to do, or you may find that it's really easy to do. but But what I would encourage you to do is to keep a running list. Don't just stop on that list, but keep a running list so that you can be able to just empty yourself out Because that's what worked for me was that when I left my therapist office, I was able to empty out you know what was you know what things I needed to surrender to. Now, I also did the same technique that I'm telling you. I had to come home and journal because there were so many things that I was operating from, y'all, that I didn't even know that I was operating from those fears and beliefs that kept me stuck.
00:18:31
Speaker
You know, and and that also really kind of um prompted me to write the book, Boldism. So I'll talk a little bit more about that in another episode. But I do want you to know that once you start to empty yourself out and you start to have awareness around those fears, it will shift you into a place of possibility. And you get to start asking yourself like, hmm,
00:19:00
Speaker
Now, when you empty yourself out, you ain't got nothing that'll block you, or you start to recognize that certain things are coming up that ah that block you when certain intuitive hits come in, you'd be like, wait a minute, hold up.
Building Self-Trust and Following Intuition
00:19:14
Speaker
That fear is showing up. This came in my spirit, but here kid comes this blocker. Aha, I see what it looks like or what it feels like when a fear shows up.
00:19:27
Speaker
So now let's move into the the place of embracing intuition as your next step. So your intuition, that's that inner compass. That's when you really do get to sit still and listen about, well, what is possible for me?
00:19:43
Speaker
you know You know, what really is my purpose in life? And when I say this, everyone, what I've experienced when i I've asked this question in the past, now my question is more like, you know, am I on purpose versus what is my purpose, right? But when I've asked that question in the past, what I'm really asking and but what the answer that I'm really looking for is, what is it that makes my heart sing?
00:20:09
Speaker
What is it that I do effortlessly? What is it that I do? And it just, it feels so good to do it. I don't feel like I'm working. Time is flying by. It's it's really something that is so ease, that has such an ease of stepping into it, executing that it seems like it's almost unbelievable, but it's not. Oftentimes we overlook our purpose because we want it to be this big, ta-da!
00:20:39
Speaker
And let me tell y'all something. Y'all know what my purpose is. My purpose is being effective communicator and being a demonstrator you know so ah of of of getting getting to the other side of experiences so that women can be able to know that they can do it themselves.
00:20:58
Speaker
It's really that simple. And it took me a while to embrace that. So I hope by me sharing this with you that you can get to what you feel like is your purpose at this point of the journey of your life quicker, sooner, faster. And I do believe that purposes evolve as you evolve because there's levels to this thing, right? There's levels in your evolution. But when you get to the point of embracing your intuition, you also step into self trust.
00:21:29
Speaker
When you start to really trust yourself, it is so much more easier for the intuit intuitive hits to land in you. Here's what I mean by self-trust, is that when that intuitive hit comes up, you look at it in your life or you feel it, right? And you get to the point of talking to yourself about it. and then expressing it through action, you say, OK, that's interesting. That's different. You don't put a label on it. You don't attach fear to it. You don't attach belief to it. You just move from a place of openness. And you move from a place of co-creation with the divine. You move in that place like, OK, if this intuitive hit came into me,
00:22:10
Speaker
then it it obviously came from the divine, from source, from God. so I know it's right because it it came directly to me and I'm a little bit kind of curious about it and fear is trying to raise its head, but I know that if it was given to me through those pathways, then I know that this could be something great for me. and Then break it down into small steps.
00:22:36
Speaker
Don't try and take the entire intuitive hit and embrace the entire hit that you get, because that could be so overwhelming that it could put you into a space of fear and you get paralyzed and you don't do anything.
Embracing New Opportunities with Intuition
00:22:51
Speaker
Or what happens is you start calling people trying to confirm externally that this is what it is. So let's go back and and just take small steps.
00:23:02
Speaker
I wanna give you an example of a client that I spoke with the other day um about embracing intuition. She told me that she had been praying for her business to expand, right? And she'd been praying to God for her business to expand. So after that prayer, some few days later, she opens her email and she receives an invitation to be a speaker um at an event that is over in Paris.
00:23:31
Speaker
And she said that when she read the email, it freaked her out and scared her to death, because once she read it, she realized that this was an answered prayer, right? And she said, Vanice, I immediately closed the email because the first thing I said to myself, this can't be real, this this can't be real. She said, but in my soul, if I i could feel something, there was something about it.
00:23:53
Speaker
So she said, you know, what I did was I called, you know, a pastor. So she called her pastor and she talked to her pastor about it. And then she says, but I felt like I needed you know one more confirmation. So then she called me and then she and I talked about it. And ultimately what we ended up discussing was that this, you prayed for this, right? And you surrendered to, you know, God, I don't know what else to do in my business to help it grow, so I'm leaning on you. So you surrendered to what you thought, you know, would work, or you surrendered to what had it worked up until that point, but it wasn't working for the next level. So you did that good checkbox. And then you opened yourself up to the possibility. And when it showed up, because it was something different that she had not seen before, it freaked her out.
00:24:42
Speaker
And so what I said to her was to let's break this down into bite sizes and let's look at it you know around what's possible. Now, I wanna tell y'all this and i'm and I'm sure if she listens to this and if she decides to comment it, that's her business, right? And so, but what she said to me was, how do I know this is from God versus this is from the devil? Because the devil will be busy too. And this could be something that the devil is trying to trick me on. And I said, first of all, you can't be double-minded.
00:25:13
Speaker
So translation, you can't choose to be obedient when it's convenient for you and then disobedient when it doesn't feel right for you. Either you're gonna be obedient or you're not.
00:25:24
Speaker
Ain't no either or. So I said, well, let's look at this from you know fresh eyes. Let's look at this from eyes of possibility and curiosity. I said, one view is that you can go to this conference, you can speak, and you can network and meet with women all around the world, and you can expand your global connections, which could ultimately lead to the expansion of your business to new markets.
00:25:49
Speaker
Or you can go to this conference, you can speak and you may realize that the connections are not in the room and there isn't a direct opportunity for expansion. And then you may say, you know what, but I'm going to leverage the time here. And what I'm going to do is I'm going to hire me a photographer from like Airbnb experiences or from one of those trip advisors. I'm going to hire a photographer and I'm going to have that photographer to take pictures of me with some of the major, you know, Parisian, you know, architecture in the background. And I'm going to use those for social media content to be able to tell my followers about how I am, you know, I do have the vision for expanding my business.
00:26:33
Speaker
And I said, either way, you being obedience presents two opportunities for you to be in global expansion. And what I mean by this, or should I say the moral of me telling you that story is that whenever you come across you know um an opportunity and you get an intuitive hit, and then the realization of it comes starts to come to fruition for you, and you're like, you know, I want to revert to fear, but I really do want to be in obedience, and I really want to make sure that I'm staying in surrender so that I can move to that vision, then call somebody that you trust,
00:27:10
Speaker
and look at it through the place of, look at it from fresh eyes and look at it from curiosity and see what's possible for you. That can support you being in obedience.
00:27:25
Speaker
I'm telling you all, this has helped me out so much in the growth of joy and fulfillment in my life. And to this day and it and beyond, this is what I really rely on as I make major decisions in my life, as I look at the vision and the direction where my life is going, as I make major decisions in my business. You know, I surrender.
00:27:49
Speaker
and give away those belief systems that i know ah that that I know could potentially block me and keep me behind. I recognize when fear shows up. And if it's something that seems to be tugging at me a little harder and I can't seem to break away from the thought of the fear around that, I reach out and I call a trusted colleague and a trusted friend or a trusted family member that can help me to see the possibilities with fresh eyes.
00:28:18
Speaker
So I hope this has really been helpful for you, right?
Conclusion and Call to Action
00:28:22
Speaker
So I want you to leave this feeling empowered that you can surrender and be obedient to the calling on your life. Now I gave you some questions along the way. So I'm gonna circle back to these questions now.
00:28:36
Speaker
you know I really want you to take some time and go back. Or should I say i'm I'm circling back to some tasks, some homework that I'm giving you. I want you to go back and start making the list you know of what is it that you need to surrender to? What do you need to let go? What fears are getting in your way? What belief systems are getting in your way?
00:28:57
Speaker
And then I want you also to, on another page, is to write out you know what what would ah being obedient in your life look like. What could being obedient to intuitive hits in your life um create possibilities for you? What could being obedient to those intuitive hits open up for you in your life? Could it position you to step into the vision that you see for yourself? Could it position you to increase your earning potential? Could it position you to connect with the love of your life?
00:29:35
Speaker
Could it ah connect you to giving more gratitude to the life that you have so that you can build from the gratitude and meditate on that gratitude to create a whole increased level of abundance in your life?
00:29:52
Speaker
Ah, this has been so good to share this with you know you all. And so I want to recap as we come to a close on this podcast. So today we talked about really getting clear about what surrender really is. We've broken down to what obedience could look like in your life and how those intuitive hits really drive your and your obedience.
00:30:17
Speaker
And we talked about how you can leave you know leave this podcast, leave this episode feeling empowered you know through surrender and obedience and knowing that you have the power to shift and change your life. It's working for me and I know that it's gonna be working for you.
00:30:39
Speaker
So thank you so much for your time and joining me in this episode today. And make sure that you drop your ahas in the comments. I wanna hear from you. You can drop them on any social media platform that I'm connected to. um And you also can send, you can DM me, you know, in social media. If you said, Vanice, I really don't feel comfortable putting it out there in front of everyone, you can DM me. Your secret's safe with me.
00:31:06
Speaker
Because I'm here to support you you know as you move through the evolution of your own journey in finding your bold. In the meantime, I want you to continue to live life from a place of being bold, big, and bad with no permission needed. I'll see you next time on the next episode.
00:31:27
Speaker
Thank you for joining me on today's episode of the Evolution of Bold podcast. I hope you found the conversation as inspiring and empowering as I did. It's always a pleasure to share the stories of my journey along with those of other remarkable women who have shown us what it means to live life boldly. I'd love to know what stood out to you the most. Your feedback is really important to me. So please leave a comment in the feed or on one of our social media channels.
00:31:55
Speaker
And don't forget to hit the subscribe and notification button before you go. Stay connected with us for more insights and exclusive content. Keep evolving, stay bold, and always live your truth. Thanks for listening and stay tuned for our next show. Until next time, I'm Denise Johnson, the Boldness Coach, cheering you on in your journey towards your level of bold.