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The Intricacies of Connection | A Kitchen Table Talk
90 Plays10 months ago
Welcome back to The Ripple Affect podcast. In this intimate Kitchen Table Talk, hosts Cheech and Nibby (Chiara and Isa) delve into a candid conversation about the nuances of healing, the nature of being an empath, and the application of knowledge over mere accumulation. They explore the concept and dynamics of energetic cords and their impact on relationships, alongside the transformative potential and power in sexuality and sensuality. The episode delves into the complexities of self-love and personal expression, emphasizing the importance of experiencing emotions, self-acceptance, and building a secure foundation within oneself. Cheech and Nibby share personal insights and anecdotes, offering listeners a deep dive into the process of embracing one's true self and the joy found in this journey. Join them as they share highlights that promise to give you a more intimate understanding of your hosts and the impactful topics they explore.
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Transcript
Reframing Healing and Empathy
00:00:00
Speaker
Healing is an interesting word, right? Like if we can heal, we should, but there's also something to be said about just shifting because I have noticed.
00:00:10
Speaker
that people won't register the word healing because one, it's vulnerable and there's this inference that somehow something is wrong and it needs to be healed. Something is broken and it needs to be fixed. And I think that does a huge disservice to this concept of just change in general, that as an empath, I didn't need to heal
00:00:37
Speaker
I had to understand to educate so that I could have an easier time being who I am.
Hosts' Introduction and Philosophical Approach
00:00:48
Speaker
You're listening to The Ripple Effect with your hosts Cheech and Nippy, a podcast that explores how individual change has the capacity to affect the whole. From neuroscience to donuts, we're two sisters with a deep curiosity for ancient wisdom and modern knowledge, and we're obsessed with learning alongside you because we don't know. Let's dive in.
00:01:11
Speaker
Welcome back to The Ripple Effect. Isa, aka Nibi here, wishing happy holidays to all. What you're about to hear is a kitchen table talk from a little while back. After this episode, we promise you will know us, your hosts, Cheech and Nibi, a little better and definitely more intimately.
00:01:30
Speaker
A second ago you heard Cheech giving an applicable and relatable definition of healing and being an empath. That was from our conversation that we are about to dive right back into. Kia ora, you want to give them some highlights of what they can expect? For sure. Kia ora here, aka Cheech. In this episode, Isa and I talk about and emphasize the application of knowledge over mere accumulation of it, which is such an important piece. We also discuss the concept of energetic cords and their impact on relationships.
00:01:59
Speaker
as well as the power and potential for growth in sexuality and sensuality. Oh, it's such juicy stuff. Pun intended.
Cheech's Empath Journey and Personal Growth
00:02:08
Speaker
I also touch on the significance of educating oneself to better understand being an empath, which is what you're about to hear as per usual at this point. If you've been listening to us, we dive directly into the middle of our conversation.
00:02:21
Speaker
Enjoy. I remember where I was when someone said, oh, you're an empath, and labeled me that. And I had never heard that word. And I was like, I'm sorry, what? And they said it so confidently. And they said an empath and I went, I'm sorry, what? What is that? And then the journey began, right? And every time I've had a more education,
00:02:47
Speaker
about my own experience and having it build context for me when I started to finally research and understand what that word was, what that meant. I turned around and looked back in the rest of my timeline, looked back into my past and said to myself, oh my God, that makes so much sense. It was like a relief to have a context that made sense for so many situations.
00:03:15
Speaker
in my past and that felt healing. I didn't do anything. I just had a context and then I look forward and there's the change, the shift that gets to take place because education is great, but if you don't apply it, if you don't integrate it, then it's just storage. It's just data being stored rather than data being used for your own benefit.
00:03:40
Speaker
Really?
Consciousness, Knowledge, and Human Potential
00:03:41
Speaker
And like an algorithm grows based on more information and data that's put together, right? These self-learning machines that we have now, like computers, we are a giant supercomputer. We are the most sophisticated computer that walks the planet, at least for now. They're really working on it.
00:03:58
Speaker
But quantum computing will probably surpass us. But even in certain ways that I believe is this consciousness and these almost like spiritual ways that we exist as human beings, we have the ability to look forward, compute, integrate, and then put into action. And computers need thousands of programs all working separately to do what the human brain and I believe the human spirit does pretty seamlessly.
00:04:27
Speaker
I just want to acknowledge that notion of input and output and how like life is a game of action and reception, like reception and action. And so I really resonate with the fact that it is that we are so amazing. Our systems are so amazing and they integrate within themselves so well. And then, you know, things happen to us and it like separates them and then healing or, you know, doing the work or whatnot. A lot of times it's just reconnect.
00:04:55
Speaker
the different bodies, the ethereal body with the physical body or the spiritual body with the physical body, so that you can have a fuller version of yourself that goes out and does life, you know? But I really do think that it's important to acknowledge that notion of receiving information, gathering data, collecting the tools, the people, the environments that are good for you, and then going and doing them, experiencing it, practicing it,
00:05:23
Speaker
concentrating on it, giving it your focus, your attention and really living. I really think it's important to remember that life is a action sport and I see a lot of my clients get really stuck in the consumption.
00:05:40
Speaker
And I think that that's societal. And I think that that's cultural for the United States. But I see it a lot where they're like, I just need to gather more information. I just need to get more certifications. I just need to get another degree. I just need to learn more. It's an archetype. And sometimes it's important to pattern interrupt and go, OK, enough is enough. No more consumption of content. Put it into practice. You don't need anything else.
00:06:07
Speaker
what one thing have you learned that you can apply today and i think that is super important and we're meant to do that as part of the human condition is to have progress and to expand and explore and i think that's what. Consumerism plays on really well and gets us twisted is we have this innate.
00:06:27
Speaker
nature that wants to continue to expand and wants to grow and get more and receive more. That in and of itself is beautiful and can be really helpful.
Consumerism vs. Personal Growth
00:06:38
Speaker
But when you put consumerism on it, then you think that if you get a bigger house, it's going to make you feel better.
00:06:44
Speaker
buy more, it's going to make you feel better. If you change your body, your looks, then it equals what you're looking for. But what you're really trying to attain is simply expansion. And you can attain that by grabbing that information and then using it to expand your experience. It's like a feedback loop that works. Yeah. And being with yourself more fully. Yeah.
00:07:11
Speaker
Yeah, so I wanted to just say that I also wanted to just touch on this concept of tools because I think that's something that's really I know is so helpful for me is having my Centering practice having my grounding practice having my decoding practice having my somatic practice having my breath work practice having therapy using exercise knowing my unique joy bringers and and that toolbox I think is really
00:07:41
Speaker
valuable. And I'd like to share more of those, you know, your affirmations, your practice, your whatever the fuck it is. I am always looking for more of those from others. And so I would love to share what I do to just like
00:07:57
Speaker
feed more, put more on the plate, you know, like, here's what I do. Like potluck, like, here's what I do. You tell me what you do. I love it. I love it. And for any first time listeners, I want to contextualize that this kitchen table talk that you're listening to are how I said I have decided we're going to basically
00:08:15
Speaker
not vet, but take from. So we're doing this to kind of then go, oh yeah, that's where we want to do a deep dive. That's where we want to get a guest on. That's where we want to have a separate episode around just grounding, centering, or just breath work. And so we're mentioning these through our unnatural conversation about our lives and what we're kind of going through to be able to then offer something of real value. So that's why we're kind of not going into it right now.
00:08:46
Speaker
And just for clarification as well, like this is more of our, you know, relaxed, candid conversation with one another that help us kind of process out what we think would be helpful for you. And helpful for us. Because I definitely want to hear more about your tools as well.
Energetic Cords and Personal Autonomy
00:09:03
Speaker
Yeah. I would love to walk you through a decorating kyata on, you know, on a podcast and then people could potentially be you and experience a decorating and always be able to come back to it and do it whenever they need it, you know.
00:09:15
Speaker
Please tomorrow. We can record that like now. Can we just forget everything I just said about the kitchen table talk? We are going to now do a decoding process with Kiana because she fucking needs it.
00:09:30
Speaker
Oh my God. So when I did, I have to just share when I did a decoding process with our mom for the first time, normally there's a visualization process. And just to give like a little bit, just a tiny bit, whenever we interact with people, depending on the depths of the interaction, there's small energetic or large energetic cords that get connected to one another. And a decoding process is like the process of unhooking or unplugging those.
00:09:55
Speaker
that have been attached to you and then taking back the ones that you've attached to others and bringing them back into your system. This is a process that helps you to not be affected by others and it helps you to really operate within your own system, which I think is one of the most mature things we can do as adult humans. But when I did this process with my mom,
00:10:15
Speaker
you know a lot of people after they'll they choose to share with me what their experience was through this guided meditation and she was like oh my gosh when you told me to visualize the chords that had been attached to me which i actually don't even think i said but in the context of the conversation she said i saw all the chords that were attached to me and it was like
00:10:37
Speaker
It was like millions of strings all around me. Every, every, they were all over. I was like, oh my God, you poor thing.
00:10:48
Speaker
Oh, and this is why I said I need one tomorrow. Yeah. Like for me, when I do that process, I'll have like three or four. Like for real, like for real. But I've also been doing this for long enough where I do it often enough where I'm clearing my energy systems out and not allowing them to build up. But for a woman who's 70 and hasn't ever done this and was an empath her whole life. I mean, that was extreme. That was the most extreme I've ever heard of.
00:11:15
Speaker
Well, I just say because I am her daughter, and I know that I have had little tastes of this too, and it's the same for me. So I'm just like, when you said four, I was saying fuck you in like a envious way, in a very envious way of like, okay, brag. I'm just so interested in this because of the utility. I'm so curious of like, what the fuck is actually happening?
00:11:41
Speaker
Because you have that science, psychic emotional courting. Is there a quantum process that can explain this more? Is it a somatic? How do, when I have a conversation with a stranger,
00:11:56
Speaker
or for me, I've gotten so much better at this, but I will cord to fucking objects. If someone gives me something, I corded to fucking objects. So all the objects in my house have all this meaning and all of this energy exchange happening, whether through thoughts, like when I look at this thing, I think of the person who gave it to me, or I think of the context of that, or I think of, oh, I need to move that. Like there's all of this almost ADD like things happening,
00:12:24
Speaker
Because it's a signifier, when I look at a thing, because there's this cord, there's a signifier that my system opens up and starts processing that, that opening up that relationship, essentially. And to think about having relationships with fucking everything, I'm sorry, but no, I don't think that's how we operate optimal, you know, system operations. I don't think that's right.
00:12:47
Speaker
Yeah, and I think that's why I stress like the maturity of being in your own energy system because when you are courted to something,
00:12:58
Speaker
you can't give it the energy it needs. And because when you hold that cord open, they can't fully connect and be fully in their system. So when I say maturity, it's truly letting things be what they are on their own and be fully them.
00:13:18
Speaker
and not have your influence on them or your illusion of your influence on them, but also just straight up acceptance for everything as it is. Because when we're energetically corded, there is an exchange that goes back and forth and it does pull us out of ourselves.
00:13:37
Speaker
Oh yeah, I've had so many experiences continually like this because combining that with a traumatized past, for instance, or any kind of survival attempt, meaning when I am courted with someone, then you feel the dependency as if though when they move or they choose or they do or they say that it can have consequential effects on you.
00:14:03
Speaker
And that codependency is not good. Codependency has a lot of layers to it and lots of different angles you can look at it. And one of those angles is energetic cords because what you said about clearing your own bio field, right? When you say clearing your system, it is the bio fields of thought, emotion, energy, spirit, all of the different bodies, right? All these different sophisticated
00:14:33
Speaker
parts of our system that aren't the things that are addressed when we go to doctors and be like, okay, I have this thing, I'm exhausted, okay, what are your symptoms? But more like our autonomic nervous systems, our parasympathetic nervous systems, these things that take in all of that data and are processing it. So it's such an incredibly sophisticated layered thing and I just got excited basically and went on a rant about probably what a lot of people already know.
00:15:00
Speaker
No, I don't think I mean I don't think a lot of people know that and I don't even if they do the perspective of it is helpful even for me to hear yeah, there is a lot happening in that process and there is There there is terminology behind it. There is people that are studying it. It's not just the woo-woo anymore we are starting to integrate the fact that there are a lot of systems that make our bodies minds
00:15:29
Speaker
work or don't work, you know, there's a lot going on that is beyond balancing your hormones, you know, it's inclusive of it and then beyond it, right? Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, it's like, it's like this and that. Yeah, that's why in my coaching process, that's, I think that it's all connected, you know, so people come to me for nutrition coaching, but I mean, we got to talk about what's going on in their lives and why
00:15:54
Speaker
why they're at where they're at and what the limiting beliefs are and where you know where they're connecting to and you know protectionism with weight is a big linking factor and safety set points and why they're holding things like it's so interconnected it's you can't separate it there's no way to separate it absolutely protectionism i've never heard of that and i already like oh that's a great topic um so coming back to you yeah okay so so
00:16:24
Speaker
Hi friends, Kiara here.
Deepening Connections with 36 Questions
00:16:26
Speaker
I'm interjecting to give a little bit of backstory to what you're about to hear and to set up Issa's uncharacteristic share about her personal life and newfound romance. So what was left on the cutting room floor that I want to describe was Nibi describing how she met this person late night.
00:16:44
Speaker
at a festival, exchanged a few texts, and began exploring the potential of something good. That's the setup. And now we jump right into Isa sharing about their first encounter when she has invited herself to a wedding.
00:17:01
Speaker
He's like, all right, well, you want to go on this, you want to go to LA with me? Like I'll buy you a ticket to come to the wedding with me. And I was like, yeah, sure. Wait, okay. I have to back up a little because like we were just texting back and forth and I was like, well, do you want to talk later? You know, and he's like, yeah, sure. I think I read, I was reading articles or I can't remember how it came about, but I found this article that was the 36 questions. Have you heard of that? No.
00:17:24
Speaker
Essentially, it's a psychologist who created this list of 36 questions to ask anybody to fall in love with them. So it's a process where you ask these 36 questions and then you look into each other's eyes for four minutes. And so I was like, oh, I have some questions to ask you, right? Like didn't tell him what was going on. Now, I have a question about this process first before you say anything more. The psychologist created it.
00:17:49
Speaker
as a tool to fall in love with someone or as a measure of if you ask these questions and they sync up with you, then there's the potential. Is it a hack or is it a? He did a study on it where he had strangers go through this process and studied the results of them falling in love with each other after.
00:18:12
Speaker
I read the article that was in the New York Times where the journalist had heard about the study. She tried it. And fortunately for her article and why so many people were like, Whoa, what is she ended up falling in love and marrying this guy?
00:18:27
Speaker
She was like, it doesn't work for everybody, but it is a good way to drop in deep with somebody pretty quick and it's not conventional. And I was like, well, that's cool. I'm not really looking for some surface shit. So might as well ask these questions. At least I'll get to know somebody faster, right? Again, deeper. Didn't really put the potential of like actually falling in love with anybody. I was just kind of like, eh, maybe it'll work on him, but not me.
00:18:48
Speaker
Whatever, you know, but also one last question before you proceed into your story. I just want to clarify, was the intention of the study to prove that these questions create an opening for falling in love or was it was the conclusion of the study that these questions make someone fall in love?
00:19:12
Speaker
No, the first, not the latter. To my knowledge. To my knowledge. So continue with your story then, I'm curious now. Okay, so we did these questions, right? And it was really fascinating and definitely divulged stuff that you would never talk to somebody about the first time talking to them on the phone, right?
00:19:30
Speaker
And we found out we had a lot in common. Some of the examples of these questions are, what's your perfect date? Or if you could change one thing about yourself tomorrow, what would it be? Or if you had a superpower, what would it be? And then it prompts you to tell the person that you're doing it with three things that you like that they've told you. Or go over three things that you found out that you have in common. It goes through this process of asking you questions and then having you do these back and forth things.
00:19:58
Speaker
And then it'll tell you, okay, set a timer for four minutes and describe a memory in your childhood in as much detail as you can. So we did it, right? It was really, it was fun. And later he was like, no, I thought it was really intelligent and definitely got me out of my comfort zone, which was nice, you know? So I was like, oh, that's cool. So we do that, right? And then I'm like, yeah, I'll go to this wedding with you. Why not? When we get to the airport, we meet in the airport parking lot and I was like, all right, now we have to stare into each other's eyes for four minutes, which was...
00:20:25
Speaker
So awkward. I don't know if you've ever done that with anybody that you don't fucking know. Wait, what did you feel like you had to do that? Is that part of the thing? Were you continuing the process? That's the last step of the process. Oh, Jesus Christ. But you did it separately at different times. You were supposed to do it all at one time and you did it in like different sittings. We did all the questions at once. We did all 36 questions at once, but we weren't together. We were on the phone so we couldn't look into each other's eyes.
00:20:52
Speaker
Okay, yeah, probably after asking all the questions and then going right into it, it wouldn't have been as awkward. I don't know. I don't know. So I just have to tell you that we literally met on Sunday night of this festival at night, hung out for a couple hours and then went our separate ways, started texting, talking, like, I didn't, I do not know this person.
00:21:15
Speaker
Okay, so we meet in the parking lot. We're like, okay, now we have to sit and stare at each other for four minutes. He's like, all right. So we sit there and we start staring at each other and four minutes is so long. And literally he's like,
00:21:28
Speaker
It feels like it's been longer than four minutes. I was like, did I press start on the timer? Like, watch her just sitting here like 20 minutes because I didn't press start on the timer. But it did. I did. And it went off. And then I was like, well, that was it was a great way to start the trip because it was by far like the most awkward thing of the trip. After that, it was like, OK, nothing can be awkward, more awkward than that.
00:21:50
Speaker
Long story short, we went to this wedding, his friend's wedding, which is crazy. In LA, you came to LA and did not hit me up. I'm just now realizing you've been in LA. You didn't fucking talk to me. You didn't tell me any of this. You didn't say you were here. I told you that I...
00:22:09
Speaker
I'm usually really private about this stuff. I already knew that. Usually I don't get to hear this part, so thank you podcast because you would have never shared this with me.
00:22:23
Speaker
Oh my gosh.
Personal Transformation and Sexuality
00:22:24
Speaker
Okay. So the long story short is that like we continue the short story long. Exactly. The reason I am telling you all this is because it has changed. Having this relationship and having this experience is completely changed.
00:22:43
Speaker
me internally and then exploring sexually with somebody different and for the first time having sex with what what I'm really kind of hesitant to say but like loving someone I'm pretty sure I'm falling in love with this person and exploring sexually was like the level of love has really shattered things inside of me and
00:23:10
Speaker
Talking about change and talking about the phases of change, I've been exploring the orgasm reflex, which is not just for having an orgasm, but it's the process in life of becoming aware of something and then giving that thing space to grow and gain awareness of it and then sustaining it and then completing it. And that process, it's really opened up a lot in me to learning about change and growth and acceptance.
00:23:39
Speaker
the phases of change and I can be open with the fact that I have not experienced an orgasm with a partner before and so exploring that and then in my interpersonal work, why? And my trauma with completion.
00:23:56
Speaker
is a big thing that has come to my awareness. And I just wanted to put that into the podcast and out there because I know, sexually speaking, a lot of people don't talk about it. And I just think that there's a lot of power for change and power for self exploration and power for uncovering things about yourself within your sexuality and your sensuality. And I think those two topics
00:24:24
Speaker
are really important to me at this point in my life and I think that could hold a lot of value just going forward. I had a conversation with one of my friends who's she's 84 I think and we started talking just about the subject of sex and she was really open about sex and open about how much her life and her journey and sex and all these different things and she was like I have all these books
00:24:49
Speaker
I would love to gift you or just let you borrow because I think if you're interested in these subjects like Taoism and Tantra and I was like, yeah, sure. And so I have this stack of books. So I'm saying this because I've started exploring these things and I know that this is going to be a theme for me exploring in my own self growth. And that is why I told you that whole story. That is the point of the story.
00:25:15
Speaker
First of all, just acknowledging personally, even though this is a public thing we're going to publish,
00:25:20
Speaker
I'm so excited for you. Thank you. That's so exciting. It's a wonderful, it's not even a big deal. It's this natural, progressive, organic next step because I know how deeply and how focused and committed you are to your own, not just personal growth, but seeking true satisfaction in your life. And I know because I'm your sister and we talk,
00:25:50
Speaker
what that journey's looked like even in just the one category and subject of relationships. And I'm really glad you shared that just with me personally. Like, thank you for sharing that. That's exciting regardless of where it goes or, you know, relationships are so squirrely sometimes. Who knows? Yeah. And I think it's really important I can hear Calvin's voice being like, don't get ahead of yourself, sis. Like, it's really important to stay where you're at with things and not go too far into letting the mind go into the future. And so,
00:26:20
Speaker
I think that's really important, too. Because it is a known known, especially with your heart and a relationship. It's the deepest place of potential unknown that you can interact with and try to explore on your own and then together. So I like deeply acknowledge that. And then secondarily, I'm really glad you brought up that. And then for the purpose of exploring change through sexuality and sensuality,
00:26:49
Speaker
And just as we were talking before about how there's so much information available that so too is so much data and information about sexuality and this puritanical foundation of the United States has
00:27:06
Speaker
So much limitation on everyone, and especially women, on the conversations of growth, sexuality, orgasms. That what you just shared about orgasm cycle is what you called it. What did you call it? Orgasm. It's called the orgasmic reflex and it's to research by Wilhelm Reich. Dude, just the eden trig and interest level.
00:27:31
Speaker
and value that I can pinpoint in that is really expansive. I will say that for me, it's been really interesting to have always known someone very, very young, that sexuality and sex and that activation in my body is such a key component to my health. And then not having, like you said, conversations about it, having to stay private, feeling stigmatized and or shame,
00:28:02
Speaker
but also personally just being very like, oh, no, I love this. This is important to me. And coming into my adult life, then realizing how much I have still yet to explore. And because of the puritanical nature of the foundation of this country and the continual kind of repressive nature,
00:28:21
Speaker
through a lot of religious orders around sexuality, there isn't nearly enough conversations so that it can be accessible, normalized, destigmatized. And I know I think I mentioned the Netflix shows on pleasure. And I think you had read a book or
00:28:41
Speaker
something similar from one of the authors that was on that show. So I really gained just a lot of insight, understanding from these different women's perspectives and these different scientists' perspectives around pleasure and how it has to do with both sex and not related to sex as well, just this concept of pleasure. And a real quick story, when I talk about the puritanical part of the United States, I just remember being in Europe, for instance, and traveling in college
00:29:11
Speaker
And we were in, I think we were in Amsterdam. I think you and I were, I think you were there with me. We walked into a mall. This mall was a converted church. It was the most beautiful building. It was a two-story marble structure, and they had converted it into a mall, like a modern
00:29:33
Speaker
American mall. So there's a top story mezzanine and then from the top rafters all the way down to the floor was a giant banner advertisement like a vertical banner advertisement of a woman topless.
00:29:51
Speaker
And it's like family, it's like a mall. And I remember being instantly aware that that would never fly in America. You would never have it. And it was literally sanctioned to be in this mall. No one was protesting it. Nothing was wrong with it. And in that moment, amongst other moments, I just really saw the cultural
00:30:11
Speaker
difference around bodies, sex, so many things. And I just wanted to briefly kind of contextualize what I mean by the puritanical foundation of our roots of this country, that people left Europe wanting to be more religious and more strict.
00:30:30
Speaker
not less. The Puritans were like, you know, people are getting too loose. We want to be more serious about religious and not too came over. Like, so those are some roots that we have to deal with. And I don't think any of us have gotten out of it or like we operate without it. And so I think it's really important for women to acknowledge that that is what we've been
00:30:54
Speaker
raised in and to different extents based on your religion, your location and all of that. But how much power is in a woman's pleasure is so immense and the biological, the physical, the spiritual nature of what can happen to the female body during sex is so profound. And I think it has traditionally scared men.
Women's Sexuality and Empowerment
00:31:23
Speaker
And I think that the patriarchy has designed itself in order to maintain a level of control and power over it. And I think it's time that that just starts to break down. And I think it is breaking down, but I want to be a part of that breakdown. I want to own my sexuality. I want to own my power. I want to own
00:31:44
Speaker
you know, not even own. I don't even think that's the right word. I just want to embody it all, you know, and be the most full version of myself. I want to experience as much as I can in this life so that I can be the fullest version of myself, that part.
00:32:00
Speaker
has been compartmentalized for me and that's what I'm trying I'm you know starting to free up and that is what excites me is that that Realization that there's so much more and what you said, you know, it's funny like I started seeing a sex therapist, which I think is immensely valuable But also like I learned that there is a cap
00:32:22
Speaker
of how much pain a human can experience before they die of pain. You can be tortured to death. You can die from pain. However, there is no upper threshold of the amount of pleasure a human can experience. You can just keep experiencing more and more and more pleasure. So wherever you find yourself on that scale, it's important to know that you can explore deeper and you can experience more.
00:32:48
Speaker
So if you feel satisfied, great, but know that there is a deepening you can continue to explore and there's no upper threshold to the amount of pleasure you can hold in your body.
00:33:00
Speaker
Wow, yeah, that's such an interesting framework of thinking about how we explore life through our minds, how we explore life through our emotions. And I didn't actually connect the nature of exploring sexuality as a part of the extension of that physical experience and pushing those limits and seeing what else is there. Even though earlier I referenced it such a deep well, I think even in that sentence, there was intellectually diving in, but this very topic
00:33:28
Speaker
almost commands experience for you to keep diving into that well, right? And I think that one of the historical references that I always go back to from being an art historian studying that is the first classes I took in college, you know, they start you at the beginning in art history. So you go to the earliest found pieces of art, these clay, pagan sculptures of the fertility goddess.
00:33:57
Speaker
And they are everywhere. And then you learn how that pagan figurine and that deeply, deeply rooted honoring of not only the mother,
00:34:12
Speaker
But the goddess of pleasure, the fertility, the act of that converting energy to create that worshiped being, the Catholic Church very deliberately took that and turned it into the Virgin Mary.
00:34:31
Speaker
over time. The Rose, the Virgin Mary, there's all kinds of iconography prior to people who could read and write. And so there was iconography through imagery, and paganism in Europe faded out through this changeover into Christian symbols. But it was there. It was there in terms of this is important.
00:34:53
Speaker
This is a centralized importance to focus on the female and honor and respect and worship and understand life through that framework. I too am trying to own that more in terms of comfort, just comfort speaking about it.
00:35:13
Speaker
comfort being expressive. As you know, I recently in my life kind of gained enough insight, enough comfort to share, oh, I'm a bisexual. I've been bisexual. I just didn't even realize for my own self.
00:35:29
Speaker
that that was okay. I did feel shame about this or I just didn't even, my brain didn't even let me contextualize that I, that I really am attracted to women that I really, and I'm married in a heterosexual relationship. So it's like, oh, that adds like this layer. But even why I'm saying that is just to say that my own personal expression of this is my truth.
00:35:51
Speaker
around this part of sexuality made me feel more integrated as a whole being. It made me understand myself, but it is such an important piece of owning narrative is all I want to say about that.
00:36:05
Speaker
Yeah, I am so right there with you. Owning your own narrative, I think is really important. And it's your autonomy as a being and that you can be whole and you can be in your full expression and that it's safe to be there, you know, and that you can have fun from there and you can live from that space. That is what the idea of that is so intriguing to me, you know? And the part about embodiment, hearing you talk about having that
00:36:35
Speaker
realization within yourself and then having the courage to step into that and really fully feel acceptance in your own system of that thing enough to be able to then share it with others and get that feedback loop of acceptance from others to then be able to sit in your own seat and feel more whole and more fully yourself. That is part of that action of life and that embodiment. I recently did an EFT session with our niece, Carly,
00:37:04
Speaker
Which is an emotional freedom technique. It's tapping and I walked her through a process and did a session with her the other morning and we were talking about embodiment and how you know how you hear words or even like intellectual eyes like you're talking about things and then you experience them in in your body and you have a deeper understanding of the thing Yes Those are the more potent
00:37:34
Speaker
those have been my most potent thematic, those type of somatic works. Again, we are a physical body on purpose. There's so much to it and there's so much neglect, even personally in my own life.
00:37:50
Speaker
neglecting of my physical body is such a disrespectful, and I mean that with a lot of love and compassion for myself, but I've learned what's the highest extension of my own self-worth or measure of my self-esteem that I express and practice is the either respect or disrespect of my physical body.
00:38:10
Speaker
either if it's through words and how I speak to myself or how I look at myself, how it reflects out that I look out into the world and look at others, or if it's not being able to connect or understand, these are the things that bring me joy. And all of that is to say that it's just this powerful
00:38:31
Speaker
very tangible thing that houses us, that is the only thing. And to shout out to any atheist, you got your body, you're here, and then you're not. And that's such a powerful point of view as well. Like to think about that relationship and all the sensations that you can use to experience this variety of the conscious experience of life. But I think that that's
00:38:58
Speaker
wow there's so much to explore there yeah i think embodiment is like where it's at i'm pretty sure that's that's the the cream on top of life is when you can be fully in your body and present and i think
00:39:13
Speaker
I think that's like part of switching into your parasympathetic nervous system. I think it's part of respecting yourself. I think it's part of experiencing love in your system. I don't think there's a way to do that without being embodied, you know? And I think that there's a lot of power in that and just in love in general, like the frequency of love, how
00:39:36
Speaker
how powerful that is. And what's going on there? Like when we say love, that also unfortunately can be such almost like a woo-woo term sometimes. Like love yourself. Oh, make no fucking mistake. When you are able to activate in your mind and in your emotional systems a frequency of love, your organs benefit from it. You are cells. There are tangible, positive effects.
00:40:05
Speaker
for this blanket term called love. And then the reverse osmosis of that is like, how do you enter into love when you've been abused, when you've been taught otherwise, when you've been contextualized or systematically oppressed into feeling less than worthy of your love, when you've been physically, mentally traumatized and your heart space is closed off to receiving or giving.
00:40:35
Speaker
That is why those things are so important because of the benefit of when that love molecule experience can come through to you, all that opens for your physical, mental, spiritual, emotional health. Yep. Yep. Yep. And I think that that's like why Kia ora, I think it's like, that's why I wanted to just open that part of me up that I don't normally do because
00:41:05
Speaker
I've I've gotten to put my toe in the giant river of love and felt what that's done to my body and I can't not share that this is a reality that people can tune into that because I can feel how
00:41:22
Speaker
powerful the current is and not just through sex, through my breathwork practice and through opening up to something greater than myself and creating structures of safety and of
00:41:40
Speaker
of trust for myself.
Love as a Transformative Force
00:41:42
Speaker
I think that the subject matter of love and self-love, again, the words don't really encompass, but when you feel that for yourself, what it can literally unhinge and unlock and release and unblock in your system is immense.
00:42:01
Speaker
It's the easiest way to. It's like the path of least resistance kind of thing. Not saying it should be easy for anybody. I am experienced not that. What I'm saying is that from my work in the Akasha over and over again, and me personally, and I was going to bring up the same thing you just said is like, love.
00:42:18
Speaker
in the context of a relationship is talking about one individual and another individual. But really, it's a path of individuality, of learning to open up to self-love, meaning the love that is universal, that you are totally worthy of, that you are absolutely, you know, either call it divinely or innately. It's divinely or innately yours.
00:42:42
Speaker
And so that journey for you, for instance, ESO, the potential for you to experience this potential partnership and the love that can come out of this, I can see and correlate it to the willingness of going into loving yourself and exploring that journey first. That's the only reason that I can see, I mean, it's a huge part of it rather,
00:43:08
Speaker
why that's opening up. And I see that so much in clients. And it's not just in having a relationship, right? It's the same for business. It's the same for creative projects. It's the same for personal healing. It is a common denominator. And the hub that it creates and all the spokes that come out of that, of love. I think that that is a very powerful topic that can have many offshoots.
00:43:37
Speaker
I'm really actually motivated to...
00:43:40
Speaker
break it down a little more. Like, what is the process of self-love? What does that mean? Scientifically, what's going on, but then also therapeutically, what are the benefits? And even qualitative researcher like Bernay Brown, how she talks about love and belonging, and she makes these incredible definitions, going back to like the power of language, why we cannot begin to understand ourselves or each other if we can't
00:44:07
Speaker
at least have some type of language. We are language-based beings. We are visual beings and we are language-based animals. So those type of deep dives into something as broad as love gets me really excited to offer myself and people for sure.
00:44:24
Speaker
I think I hear you, and I would agree, just exploring even access points to self-love, like how people experience it, because we only see through our own perspective, right? So I only have my experiences of how I've been led through ways to embody and experience love.
00:44:42
Speaker
But I know there's like, what do they say? There's like 250 ways to do dishes. There has to be so many ways to access the frequency of love. Oh, there has to be also because everybody's individual, meaning no two people have an identical experience of the way that it's formed, of the way that they understand it, of the way their own specific bodies and energy and spirit respond and what they're here for. So yeah, it has to be different.
00:45:09
Speaker
Yeah. And I mean, for me personally, I remember experiencing self self-love and looking down at my feet and just being like, oh, like, like in full adoration of my feet. Wow. Look at those. The most adoration possible. But for yourself and those feelings, you know how they say of exercise where a pill would be the most widely sold pill in the world? I think that if love was a pill, it might beat out exercise.
00:45:39
Speaker
Well, and this is interesting that you say that because like why exercise is so good because of the different hormones that are released in the brain and all the benefits and then just like probably so many others that I'm no expert on but as an actor I know the complexities of the human body as an instrument and having to be able to be nimble and emotionally available to circumstances that are not my own and
00:46:04
Speaker
have called me to look at, I have such a harder time accessing that creativity and those skills if I am not being very kind and gentle and loving toward myself in that process. I can't really even explore with any creative form, but when you're using your own body, your own voice, your own appearance, your own emotions, it's a very quick way to tap into
00:46:30
Speaker
Yeah, Issa's looking at me going, I have to pee. She was doing the bouncing up and down dance for a little bit. I'll just pause it and wait for her to come back.
Self-Love and Emotional Well-being
00:46:39
Speaker
While my past self takes a bathroom break, my present Issa self wanted to touch on something we've talked about throughout this episode. My nutrition coaching, decorating processes, and emotional freedom technique, also known as tapping. All of those are services that I provide within my professional coaching.
00:46:58
Speaker
If you are interested in exploring any of these things, just reach out to me, text me, or if you want to slide into my DMs at eNourish underscore on Instagram, or visit my website for more information, www.eNourish.life. All right, back to Cheech on the topic of embodiment.
00:47:17
Speaker
Just pointing out that that's why I think people do recommend acting classes to people, like, hey, take an acting class. Because it's a really old art form, one of the oldest, that do call you to be more aware of your relationship to your voice, to your body, to your thoughts, to your emotions. And I think it's really powerful. Recently, through certain healing sessions that I've got to have with practitioners that I use,
00:47:44
Speaker
it has come through in the Akasha as well, Akashic Records, is the ability and the attempt to actually feel what you're feeling. And for me, self-love really started to take on a whole new level or understanding, and really I'm exploring it in a whole new way.
00:48:07
Speaker
when I started to recognize the safety I can build from feeling and checking in with what my actual experience is and the respect.
00:48:23
Speaker
difficult that is how quickly I'm taken out of myself and into someone else's experience or concerns for a group or obligations for work or so many other things. And the practice of having to come back and go, wait, wait, what do I actually, what is my truth? What do I actually feel? What am I physically experiencing? What am I emotionally experiencing? And getting practice at that so it doesn't take as long.
00:48:50
Speaker
Because right now, it's like I have to really kind of set some boundaries and be like, whoa, wait a minute. Slow down. Slow down. Because I go so fast.
00:48:57
Speaker
So it's a practice of slowing down and a practice of opening up and creating space for myself so that I am in a more rhythmic, truthful rhythmic pattern for there to just be the potential for me to be more in tune with who I really am or what I really feel and then be able to respect and accept that. And that to me is a cycle, a one way of explaining self-love that I'm exploring.
00:49:24
Speaker
Yeah, that is such a potent way to explore self-love, to build a process of safety in your system by feeling your feelings. Is that right? Oh, yep. Yeah. Because so often I will run away. I will cover over, go quickly past something because, oh, I'm actually uncomfortable. I'm actually in pain.
00:49:49
Speaker
Or sometimes I'm actually really wanting to be so excited about this thing, but I'm limiting because of how it'll look or how I have a childlike nature to me that I've just started to unlock that was really stifled early on, having to be so serious, having to be so protective of my own self in the environments that I grew up in. Like this is why I had to start to engage in playing soccer because something is like,
00:50:14
Speaker
playing pickleball because it is I'm so bad and it is so fun and I don't care I'm with a bunch of old people who are super good at this sport that is so fucking funny and weird and I am like just all smiles I'm like that person they're like why is she smiling so good she's terrible
00:50:33
Speaker
I mean, because it's like a practice, I'll watch my brain, literally my old system, my systematic, you know, traumatized system, try to criticize me, try to think, Oh, you should have, you should have got that ball. And because it's such a new practice, I will literally insert the love, the love version, which goes, Oh, I can't be good at this yet.
00:50:52
Speaker
like all it is I'm just here to sweat and have fun like stop I actually have language to talk to my to my system I get to have that inter inter conversations with myself through a practice of a sport that just allows enough context and structure for me to release and each time I do that I feel like I'm coming closer to a sense of loving and accepting myself
00:51:20
Speaker
Yeah, what a practice that is such a beautiful practice and process and such a good thing to remember. Thank you for sharing because even for myself, it's like, how do you.
00:51:30
Speaker
create that foundation but in the day-to-day moments in the activities in the day where you create a foundation for safety for yourself in any situation that is linked to your own self-love. How do you be gentle? How do you be kind? How do you be forgiving? How do you be
00:51:51
Speaker
coddling to the little person inside of you that really needs a lot of love. We do. We require a lot of love. When you didn't get it from your parent or your parent didn't know how to express it or had all their own shit or you didn't have parents or whatever your childhood was like, it doesn't change the fact that the person inside of you requires love. We need it.
00:52:18
Speaker
And if we can give it to ourselves, it opens up giant channels to be able to receive it in other ways as well. So true. Wow, that last piece you just said, like, it opens up the channels to receive. Gosh, that's so... That's a topic. Okay. Okay. All right, sister. All right, sister.
00:52:42
Speaker
Good talking to you.
Reflections and Ripple Effects
00:52:44
Speaker
Yeah, you too. Thank you for sharing everything you shared and thanks for giving me space and time to share what I needed to share. I'm really grateful for the powerful sharing that you did. Yeah, I'm excited and I felt the ripple. Yay!
00:52:59
Speaker
He's sharing, help me in the affect of that. So the ripple effect is alive. It is thriving. That's good to hear. I think that it's only beginning. Yes. All right. Almost clan. We're super appreciative of having you here with us as well. And we will see you, hear you, listen. How does it go? We'll see. We won't see them. We will. You'll hear us next time.
00:53:26
Speaker
And spending usually, like, when I leave someone, I always say, like, I'll see you when I'm looking at you. But this doesn't apply to this. Like, we will never see you. Well, maybe, but not in this medium. All right, sis. Love you. Love you. Love you, too. Ciao. OK. I think we did it. Listen.
00:53:47
Speaker
I don't know what we did, but we did it. Look, unattainable ideals are overrated. We're way more connected and deserving than society's false sense of separation dictates us to be. You're not just one person, you're enough. Your effort is enough and change is possible. Question the standard that says otherwise, because what if almost is good enough? Just by tuning in, you're a part of our clan.
00:54:16
Speaker
Not in a call-to-way, though. We don't know how far this ripple can go, but we're going to keep showing up. And we'll never get to perfection, but we're all going to be okay if we let the process be the solution and we see the value in the attempt. Thanks for listening to another episode of the ripple affect. We're looking forward to exploring a different facet of change with you next Tuesday. Same time, same place next week.
00:54:42
Speaker
For show notes and additional resources, check out our website at rippleeffectpod.com. That's affect with an A. Kia ora has worked diligently to make our website interactive.
00:54:52
Speaker
Please visit it so it wasn't all for nothing. In all seriousness though, there's a ton of resources there. DM us directly at rippleeffectpod on Instagram and let us know what you liked about our show or any of your own ideas. We're really excited to hear from you. We value your feedback because it helps us make the pod better and it's our way of including you in our process.
00:55:16
Speaker
Okay, so ratings aren't the point of why we do this. We really want to make a change in the world. But in The Matrix, there are algorithms. So yeah, every single review we get helps the ripple go farther. To help us out, please take two seconds, find the ratings and review section on whatever platform you're listening from, click five stars, wink, wink.
00:55:38
Speaker
and leave a review. We know you're busy, so just saying hello or literally hi as the review helps us hack the matrix. We sincerely appreciate it. If you want to become officially initiated into our clan, again, not in a cult-y way, hit the subscribe button wherever you get your podcasts. And as always, we're in it with you. Keep questioning. Stay curious. You got this, clan.
00:56:07
Speaker
A special thank you, love and credit to the magnificent Mia Casasanta for this beautiful music you're listening to right now.