Transcript
Speaker: Welcome to the Spiritual Fitness Podcast. I'm your host, Eric Bigger. And each week, we will explore powerful practices, inspiring stories, and expert insights to guide you on your path to holistic health.
Speaker: By blending spirituality and physical wellness, we support you in strengthening your body and soul. Whether you're a seasoned spiritual seeker or just beginning your journey, the Spiritual Fitness Podcast is here to help you unlock your inner potential and live your most vibrant, purposeful life.
Speaker: It's miracle season.
Speaker: The number one sign, right, to realize you're having a father-in-law to get rid of it is I want you to know the pattern, right? So for me, I realized I had this pattern of always accomplishing. Like I was addicted to success. I had a buddy of mine one time say, do you think you're addicted to success? I'm like, yeah, but I didn't know why.
Speaker: I always wanted to appear strong. I always wanted to have the Superman cape on. But deep down inside, I couldn't, right? But I never wanted to to appear that I was weak or was less than. um So these patterns are important because it's an unconscious thing that we do because we have the father one, right? and when you have the father one, you're always chasing something. You're always chasing goals you're trying to achieve, and you're always in competition, right?
Speaker: But when it's coming from an unhealthy space, you can't really get the acknowledgement and fully receive what you achieve because it's a father-in-law. And because you didn't have your father, you wish he was there to see you, or maybe he does see you, or maybe he when he does, he still doesn't give you the acknowledgement. So growing up, I always tell people in the household, the father presence for a child is like God. When I say God, like when you're three, four, five,
Speaker: I would like to believe that your father is like your first interpretation of God, the leader, the master. He could do no wrong. He loves you. So when you don't have that around like I did, i didn't have my dad present in my life growing up.
Speaker: He was there when he was available, but not full time. As a man, I took on the reins that I was God and I can do anything and i I have this willpower. And so I would try to will myself through life because I didn't trust life, because I didn't have a father to make me feel safe that life was going to be okay and that he had my back.
Speaker: So not having his presence in my life like I wanted him, I didn't feel safe that I needed him when he was available. I just pushed him away and I was like, I got this. I can be the man.
Speaker: All right. So sign two is... This is deep. I could cry on this one.
Speaker: So... like accepting love and support without giving anything. I never felt safe to receive something from someone unless I was given something. So a lot of the ways this shows up in people's lives, men and women, is that you work hard to get love.
Speaker: You accomplish things to get what you want, right? You'll go out and make the money. You'll buy the car. You'll buy the groceries. You'll do everything in your willpower, But you will have to earn it before you receive it. Right.
Speaker: And. It's so interesting how. You know, sitting here thinking about it, because, you know, was bringing me back like, wow, all these times I had opportunity to receive, I couldn't receive it because I had this father moment because I felt like I had to earn it because in true honesty, what does a father do in your life when you're young? He pushes you. He challenges you. owes you accountable. He makes you disciplined.
Speaker: You know, but when you have that presence in your life and your father's in your life and he say you're you're playing a sport and he's pushing you and then you get the gold or the thing and then you get the love at the end, you don't have the world because he's present.
Speaker: You get what I'm saying? You have an award system. You have that system in place. But when you don't have that, you're always looking for it. So that was because of the absence of your father. So that's really strong.
Speaker: Number two is, can you accept love and support will without resistance? Sign three. This is a another one.
Speaker: You're choosing to show up. emotionally for people, even when it's hard. of've I can't say I've had that as much, but I've i witnessed it in my dad and in other people in general, that when it comes to emotional connection or emotional vulnerability, if you've got a lot on your plate, you don't know how to show up, show up so you shut off or you isolate.
Speaker: And I think most men do that. I've i've done that for sure. But we don't have to be that way. You know, like, i don't I don't have to shut down and shut off emotionally while my spouse or partner or someone needs me.
Speaker: And I think that's where, for me, the mother wound came in because I would just do it anyway, right? But the main thing as a man, I'm talking to men, is for you to be available emotionally, mentally, and spiritually, no matter what your 3D reality or what your physical reality is giving you.
Speaker: You're still available for your partner. You're still available for your kids. You're still available for yourself. But you're more authentic in your expression. Just because it's hard, I'm not going to kiss my wife. I'm not going to give her love, right?
Speaker: I'm going to show up because i have the bandwidth and the capacity to do that. So, you know, that's another sign to know that you want to be able to be emotionally available when it's hard and not only when you're happy, right?
Speaker: So sign four is... I talked about this earlier. We don't have to keep achieving to feel worthy. I don't need you to keep getting cars, keep making money, keep buying homes just to feel worthy.
Speaker: And when you don't have that, when you don't when you don't When you don't have that father present, it's hard to acknowledge why you're achieving so much.
Speaker: Right? You can just hang it up. And I think, you know, LeBron James is one of my favorite basketball players. But I've seen this in his life where I don't think he knows he's done it. And I'm not saying he's done it all way, but it kind of seems and feels that he is.
Speaker: because he's always accomplishing. And I feel like that that achievement muscle is so, yeah, he wants to win like anyone else, but it's a worthiness. You want to feel worthy.
Speaker: Because if you're not achieving, you don't feel worthy. Whereas some guys, when they had their fathers around or their fathers in their life, They hung up the sneakers. They let it go. We're good. We're good, man. There's nothing to prove.
Speaker: That's just my opinion and perception. But if you know you're constantly in this achieving, I want to achieve and achieve and achieve. And I think I still have a little bit of that. but I don't think it comes from a worthiness thing. I think it comes from wanting to be great. But I do know in the past, that's all it was about. I wanted to prove myself because I always felt like I was the underdog. And I think underdog syndrome comes from not getting love.
Speaker: Because when you get love, there's no underdog. Like, what? I'm getting love. Right? I'm the top dog when you get love. um So, yeah, four is not needing constant achievement to feel worthy. We can remove that.
Speaker: Sign five, last but not least, you're building a kind of presence with your own kids. A part of that you didn't get caught up. And this is something I recently moved into. And it's something you got to have patience with because it sounds simple, being present for your kids, your partner, life. Because when you're so used to accomplishing and doing and taking care of everything, you don't really know how to be present. But the main thing I were i learned about being fully present for my partner and for life is that I'm more safe in my intimacy. I'm more safe in being present and having a very genuine relationship thought out conversation or crucial conversation without me getting defensive, without me taking it personal.
Speaker: And I'm just going to add this bone. And also you don't complain and you don't take things personal when you heal this wound because only boys take things personal and only boys are defensive and complain because as an evolved masculine, a healthy masculine, you don't take things personal. You're fully present I had this thing that I want to share this, write this down.
Speaker: When I'm called out, I call myself in to make adjustments within that awareness. So if my woman says something that she doesn't like or it bothers her, it's a call out. I call myself into that awareness and I make a adjustments.
Speaker: In the past, probably like a year and some change ago, Or maybe a few months ago, unconsciously, I would take things personal, right? Because it's an unconscious thing. I can't see it, so I'm defending myself. And it's work. You don't have to be perfect.
Speaker: But when you can remove the complaining muscle, taking things personal, you're going to thrive so much in life because you're more present with life. You're more anchored in who you are. You're more anchored in your masculinity. You're more safe in who you are, what you are, how you feel, and you don't need to prove a point. You don't need to achieve, right?
Speaker: You don't need to repress your anger. You don't need to be emotionally closed. You can be open. You're available. You're honest. You're vulnerable. You're nurturing because you just healed your father, one.
Speaker: So those are the five signs to heal your father wound, to get to the healthy masculine of your soul. And if this resonates with you, go to my website, ericbicker.com slash work with me and sign up.
Speaker: Let's work together. And this is what I do in all my healing containers where I'm working with women or men because women can also have a father wound and a mother wound. And I'll take them through this process of making them understand these trigger points, these habits, these unconscious patterns that's stopping them from evolving in their life, their relationships, and in their livelihood. So with that being said, you guys be great.
Speaker: And men, let's work together. Let's get you to the other side of yourself where can be more available for all of life, especially for the life you desire. Stay spiritually fit.
Speaker: Thank you for joining us on the Spiritual Fitness Podcast. We hope today's episode has inspired you and provided valuable insights for your holistic health journey. By blended spirituality and physical wellness, you can strengthen your body, mind, and soul.
Speaker: If you enjoyed today's episode, please subscribe, rate, and leave a review. Until next time, stay strong, stay inspired, and remember, it's miracle season.
