Transcript
Speaker: Welcome to the Spiritual Fitness Podcast. I'm your host, Eric Bigger. And each week, we will explore powerful practices, inspiring stories, and expert insights to guide you on your path to holistic health.
Speaker: By blending spirituality and physical wellness, we support you in strengthening your body and soul. Whether you're a seasoned spiritual seeker or just beginning your journey, the Spiritual Fitness Podcast is here to help you unlock your inner potential and live your most vibrant, purposeful life.
Speaker: It's miracle season.
Speaker: If your relationships keep repeating the same patterns, it isn't about finding a better partner. It's about you becoming a person who can be regulated in their nervous system to recognize healthy love.
Speaker: In today's episode... I'm going to talk about how you can attract the right partner for your highest good. Today, we're going to get into the intangibles and tangible options and awarenesses and skills and tools you can use to attract the right partner into your life.
Speaker: First thing first, to attract the right partner, write this down. You have to be the right person within yourself. The best relationship you will have in life It's the relationship you develop within yourself.
Speaker: We can project what we want from someone else, what we want in a relationship, but if we don't have that in the relationship we have with our ourselves, it's not going to show up because like attracts like.
Speaker: Everything is you pushed out. Now, it's easy when we have a mother or father one to take things personal, to be defensive, to complain, um to not be able to receive constructive criticism or to always point the finger and not take responsibility and accountability.
Speaker: and or play a victim. So we just get into this episode today. If you haven't subscribed to the podcast, Spiritual Fitness, subscribe to YouTube. And if you want to work with me to change your life, to change your internal being, your external life, and to shift and expand your consciousness, go to ericbicker.com slash work with me and sign up and let's talk.
Speaker: So let's get into it. So in relationships, right, we talk about chemistry, familiarity, right? Feeling familiar. And the biggest thing that I realized As we change, we grow, but we gotta realize what we are in our life and what we want versus what we have.
Speaker: And I think a lot of times because of social media um and what we see and in the social interactions of life, that we're always competing and we're always comparing.
Speaker: And I would like to call those relationships Ego consciousness relationships because you have a partner. Your partner has you, but there's always a pattern of back and forth comparison and competing.
Speaker: The guy is competing with the woman. The woman is competing with the guy. They're comparing what this person does versus what they do. But anything outside of your relationship shouldn't matter. That only matters in an ego consciousness relationship when both parties are not grounded in the truth of their soul, where both parties are not aware of the awareness they need to hold to attract or be the right partner for their spouse.
Speaker: So one thing I've learned in my journey is is that you can want something, but you might not be available for it. I'll say that again. Just because you want something doesn't mean you're available for it within your nervous system, within your frequency.
Speaker: A lot of times we attract the opposite of what we want because the opposite of what we want, depending if, you know, female male, we have more control. So let me give you example.
Speaker: I have a client who is always attracting partners who have a mother on. And she has a father wound. So she feels more empowered, right?
Speaker: Where she can be in control. And this is like a pattern. This is one of... Five clients have probably got the same pattern, right? And what I'm learning is that because this soul is always attracting men with a mother wound, she herself feels competent and confident to be in a relationship because she has power, because she has control. But over time, resentment builds because the guy who she calls in,
Speaker: He's great in the beginning. He's loving. He's caring. he's the he He does everything. He worships her, loves her, appreciates her. But also when you have a mother woman as a man, you're people pleasing. You don't have strong boundaries. You're not clear. You don't trust yourself. You don't feel worthy.
Speaker: So over time, the woman becomes the mom and the man becomes the son. because it's a nervous system frequency thing. And also where you have the man in a relationship and the woman has father womb, he feels more in power because he feels like he can have control, he can have power, he can she'll submit to him. So what I'm saying is that be aware if you have any of these traumas around the mother or the father or you didn't grow up your mom and dad, you might have this going on in your reality.
Speaker: Just because the relationship didn't work out If you haven't healed that wound or cleared that part of you, you're going to attract the same thing in a different partner. Because the pattern stays the same.
Speaker: If you don't clear, if you don't release it. And most people are like, well, what do i do How do I get rid of it? You have to do the work. You have to work on yourself. It's not going to always be easy. So prime example could be when someone is trying to give you something, you don't know how to receive it because you don't feel worthy enough to receive what someone's giving unless you're in control of giving first, right?
Speaker: That's the father wound. You don't know how to be the lesser or you know you don't feel safe in your nervous system to receive, so you're always giving. You're always taking care of someone.
Speaker: But deep down, that's what you want. So I say all that to say to attract the right partner, you have to be the right partner, period. But having the right partner is being emotionally available and having space to have intimacy come into your life.
Speaker: Right. And I think the more we work on our emotional bodies, um our mental bodies, meaning like how we think, how we feel and how we process emotions and how we don't take things personal, we can have more availability for someone to come in to reciprocate what we need in a relationship.
Speaker: When the man and the woman are together and both parties feel safe with each other, that's a good partnership. Because what safety does in both parties and their bodies and their consciousness is is allow them to be their authentic self. And that's the next level of having a healthy love or healthy partner is that you can be yourself.
Speaker: You can be silly. You can be goofy. You can be angry. You can be excited. You can be fearful. And you're not going to be judged. That partnership is really the foundation of that is unconditional love, unconditional support. We've been programmed to only be in partnerships and relations or attract partnerships that's conditional, right? I'll love you.
Speaker: If you do this, I'll get love if I do that. There's no real unconditional compassion, grace, partnerships usually in the world. Maybe people who've been married have done the work with the therapy, but usually it's a push-pull. There's a challenge there.
Speaker: But if your partner feels safe and you feel safe, Thumbs up. If you can be yourself and they can be yourself, thumbs up. Thumbs up. If you guys can have a challenge or change and get to a space of repair, thumbs up.
Speaker: Right? Because no one's perfect. No relationship is perfect. You're not going to be in a healthy partnership and have perfection. But you can have awareness. You can have adjustment. And you can work together to be better for each other. So feeling safe, emotional availability, both sides.
Speaker: and being yourself. Those three things right there, great relationship. Then most people say, well, how do I do that? You gotta be aware of the things you need to work through. You know, you gotta be aware. Maybe you need therapy. Maybe you need a coach.
Speaker: Maybe you need, you know, a moment of time where you and your partner can talk to each other in a very loving way and you can help each other, right? Because as we grow, we become and things change.
Speaker: Next, the self-awareness practice that requires what feels normal in relationships. So I'm just saying now, When, so for instance, for me, my partner can call me out, right?
Speaker: And in moments I can defensive, like oh, what are you saying? Right? Because that's that's the unconscious body that's in fight a fly or flight or is trying to protect themselves. We're always trying to protect themselves. But if I take a pause and say, hold on.
Speaker: Maybe you're saying something. Let me just listen instead of giving my two cents and maybe I can receive what she's saying. But I have a path of jumping in, having a rebuttal.
Speaker: But recently I've learned if I just listen, take a beat and just listen with my ears, not my body or my voice, but listen, I can learn. And so not too long ago, we had a situation where my partner was saying, damn, you have a rebuttal for everything.
Speaker: Even the good stuff. Right there. Boom. She got me. And I was like, why do I always have to say something? Even the good stuff. She'll give me a compliment and I'll just fall like, yeah, my shirt, babe. Yeah, I got the shirt from Neustroms. And, you know, my father always is like,
Speaker: She just acknowledged that had a nice shirt. Why couldn't i just say thank you? So that awareness that she called me into, i was able to make the adjustments say, you know what? When there's a challenge or a change or a situation, i don't have to be responsive right away. I don't have to be so available in a conference. I can just listen in loud space.
Speaker: But because we both done work on ourselves through our lives, when we have a challenge or separation of things, it's easy for us to prepare adjust and get to the other side. That's a healthy partnership. That's a healthy relationship.
Speaker: But I believe had I not done the work over the years, I probably wouldn't be in a space where I could receive it and make the adjustments on the fly. Right. So the work works. So like I said, self-awareness privacy. We always gotta be aware, but sometimes you need a partner. So when I decide to make you aware of what you can't see, like my part of it, it was a blind spot.
Speaker: I was doing it unconsciously, not knowing. Next, right? So the work you do in yourself, let's say even as you're singing. ah that that's That was just for like being in a healthy relationship, healthy relationship. Say you're single and you're doing all this work because this is what I've i've learned as well.
Speaker: When you're single and you're doing all the work on yourself, when you're grown, you're jumping timelines, you're healing, you're evolving. You usually don't attract the right partner right away. You usually attract people who are so into your energy. They love your energy. They love who you are.
Speaker: And they usually come in as not takers, but they love your energy. So then it can be draining. And then if you're a woman, you're like the mom. If you're a man, you're like the dad. So you're in this fixed relationship.
Speaker: type of ah paradigm where you're fixing them because you have the information, you have the awareness. And in um in the beginning, it feels good, feels healthy because you have all this knowledge and wisdom then because you've done the work. But over time, you burn out because it's not in alignment or what you need because that person is not at the frequency that you are. So I see this a lot.
Speaker: And I think what happens is because there's not, I can't say there's not a lot because there are a lot of men that are healthy or heal that evolve. People are just not attracting those type of souls.
Speaker: I think because the perception, right, for women, this is for women, for women is that men are not available emotionally. They don't care. We have this paradigm in society where men has a negative connotation when it comes to relationships.
Speaker: I can't say women have theirs as well. But so when that perception of paradigm so pushed out, the first aspect of the average woman meeting a man to be healthy and evolved is kind of rare.
Speaker: When I met my mom and I was just like, wow, like I was like blown away. Like, tuned in, tapped in, dialed in, everything I ever wanted. And a woman, especially psychologically, spiritually, which is most important, substance, yeah, substance, right?
Speaker: And i think what happens when you're on the higher end or the other end of having substance and having tools and awareness is you usually don't attract the right people right away. Or you attract the person who looks like they're right person and it doesn't get there. So the moral to the story is the right partner is for you.
Speaker: Sometimes you gotta to give yourself grace, compassion, and time. It all happens. And I believe the best relationship happens or comes you're not looking for it.
Speaker: I really believe that. Unless you're just high school sweetheart, you're going to college together, you're going grow up in the same neighborhood, your family know each other. But the best relationships happen when you're not looking for them. continue to do the work, show up, have the self-awareness, be the partner that you want. If you have a list of things that you want from another, ask yourself, argue that for yourself.
Speaker: Because the own the the greatest marriage and the greatest relationship is the one you have with self. And when you master to that, when you continue to evolve that part of you, you'll call in people that can fit that paradigm of your life.
Speaker: Conscious just relationships, finding a partner, attracting a healthy partner who makes you feel safe, who doesn't judge you. is what we want here, right? So the main thing is to find the healthy parts of yourself or heal yourself to be in a healthy vibration of yourself where you can receive love and it's no resistance, where someone can give you feedback and you not take it personal, ah where you can be intimate and not be in fear, where you can be vulnerable and not be afraid of being seen, and you can have that healthy warmth of love in your life.
Speaker: And so it's possible, it's available. i believe in you. I know you can have the partner of your dreams because I have the partner of my dreams, but I've also done the work. And I'm not saying you gotta be like me. I want you to be like you, but do the work, work on yourself, have the self-awareness, take accountability, be responsible and be open to feedback so you can grow and become better.
Speaker: Because like I say it all day and always, life is marriage because life is growth. So if you're committed to the marriage of your life, which is your life and your commitment to yourself, the marriage of you, marrying your soul to become a better spouse, partner for a potential suitor, you will get exactly that in due time. And if you're looking for more one-on-one support and relationships and finding a partner, tapping into your higher mind or your deep subconscious self, sign up and work with me.
Speaker: website www.arybigger.com slash work with me and we get together I help you see what you can't see and I help you evolve and get where you need to go so you can have a healthy conscious partnership relationship bye guys be great make sure you download this episode share this and I see you guys in peace
Speaker: Thank you for joining us on the Spiritual Fitness Podcast. We hope today's episode has inspired you and provided valuable insights for your holistic health journey. By blended spirituality and physical wellness, you can strengthen your body, mind, and soul.
Speaker: If you enjoyed today's episode, please subscribe, rate, and leave a review. Until next time, stay strong, stay inspired, and remember, it's miracle season.
