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Stay Sparked #42 "Letting Go of Resentments"
9 Plays2 years ago
How do we know we are holding resentment? How can we avoid it building up? And how can we accept, forgive, and let it go?
HOSTS
BETSY FINKLEHOO is a healer of massage therapy, CranioSacral and Dharma Coaching. She is an 8 year burner and has spent the last several years seeped in the personal development world, cultivating her passion for transformation and growth. Her recent project, The Power Affirmation Journal and virtual group empowers women to cultivate self awareness and healthy habits so they can live in greater freedom, mind body and spirit.
http://poweraffirmation.com/
Click here to get a FREE affirmation for Stay Sparked Listeners!
HALCYON is full-time Love Ambassador. He is the founder of Hug Nation YouTube channel and daily zoom gratitude circles. He is co-founder of the Pink Heart Burning Man camp and the 1st Saturdays project for people experiencing homelessness. In his free time he coaches individuals on how to live joyfully and authentically. His other podcast is "Hard on the 80's."
http://JohnStyn.com
JANUS REDMOON is a 10-time Burner, and has spent the last several years as an advocate for psychedelic medicine research and treatment. He is the founder and CEO of NuWorld Nutritionals, a nutritional supplement company providing mushroom-based, all-natural products to improve and maintain health for both body and mind. (Use code "SPARKED" for 10% off)
http://www.nuworldnutritionals.com
MASSIVE Thank you to Dub Sutra for their beautiful opening music. Check out their incredible music catalogue online.
https://dubsutra.com
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Transcript
Introduction and Purpose
00:00:01
Speaker
Welcome to Stay Sparked.
00:00:03
Speaker
On this show, we explore how to stay inspired in the modern world through the most profound lessons from Burning Man, relationships, entrepreneurship, psychedelics, spirituality, travel, and more.
00:00:17
Speaker
On today's episode, we talk about resentments and how we let them go.
00:00:21
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Also how to recognize resentment in ourselves and when it's maybe being directed towards us.
00:00:26
Speaker
How do we find acceptance, forgiveness, and peace with those we might feel resentment towards?
00:00:32
Speaker
Enjoy the episode.
00:00:34
Speaker
Welcome to Stay Sparked.
Meet the Hosts and Gratitude Sharing
00:00:36
Speaker
We are three longtime friends who have been inspiring each other for over a decade, and we are here to share our conversations, aim to inspire and to light you up.
00:00:45
Speaker
Thank you so much for listening.
00:00:46
Speaker
If you have been here before and are enjoying these conversations, we'd appreciate you leaving us a review on Apple Podcasts.
00:00:54
Speaker
You can also check us out on Spotify.
00:00:55
Speaker
And if you want to see our gorgeous faces, you can go to YouTube as well and find us.
00:01:00
Speaker
Stay Sparked is the thing to look for.
00:01:02
Speaker
We're also on Instagram.
00:01:04
Speaker
Look for the StateSpark profile there.
00:01:06
Speaker
We're all over the place and
Understanding and Shifting Resentment
00:01:08
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getting bigger.
00:01:08
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So I am Giannis.
00:01:12
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I am Healthian.
00:01:14
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And I'm Betsy.
00:01:17
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And we like to start our conversations with a little bit of gratitude and
00:01:23
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I will go ahead and start.
00:01:24
Speaker
It's a pretty it's a pretty simple one.
00:01:26
Speaker
I'm because I'm just waking up every day with this little bit of gratitude for the sunshine and the weather.
00:01:33
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We're here in San Diego.
00:01:35
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A couple of us are at the moment and waking up to sunshine every day.
00:01:40
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A lot of people are like they like this change in the seasons.
00:01:44
Speaker
I kind of like the sunshine.
00:01:45
Speaker
I like it every day.
00:01:46
Speaker
We are solar powered creatures.
00:01:48
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So when I wake up and the sun is shining, it just gives me that little extra spark to be like, yes, I'm ready to get some vitamin D on me and I'm ready to start my day.
00:01:56
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So sunshine is I'm feeling the gratitude for that these days.
00:02:01
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Nice.
00:02:03
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Halsey, what about you?
00:02:04
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I am grateful right now this week for Balboa Park, our local park in San Diego.
00:02:12
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I got to bring my partner there for the first time this weekend and show her all these special places that have been a part of my life growing up.
00:02:18
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And it just was just I love it.
00:02:22
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So many good memories.
00:02:23
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And it was so wonderful to share it.
00:02:24
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Interesting.
00:02:28
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So I'm in a Belleville Park and sunshine.
00:02:31
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I'll share my gratitude for sauna.
00:02:35
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Good sauna lately.
00:02:38
Speaker
The good sweat and a cold plunge feels so good.
00:02:41
Speaker
And it feels like their saunas are on the rise there.
00:02:44
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They're getting more and more popular.
00:02:46
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Saunas are so hot right now.
00:02:50
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And I am a huge fan and so grateful for the saunas that I've gotten to experience.
00:02:54
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And that's my gratitude today.
00:02:58
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I appreciate a good hot tub, but I am definitely my, my sauna.
00:03:02
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My love for the sauna is, is rocketing up the charts right now.
00:03:07
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I'm a big fan of the, and the cold plunge too.
00:03:09
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Um,
00:03:11
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Not to get too off track, but my grandfather, my role model, he went in asana every day of his life.
00:03:18
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It was a part of his spiritual practice and part of his health practice was getting asana every day.
00:03:25
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amazing it's so nice we should do an episode from asana that would be great like like the plan that sounds great so uh today our topic is an interesting one i feel and it is the topic of resentment
00:03:49
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I have some questions about that as far as how do we, you know, recognize that within ourselves?
00:03:55
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How do we shift it, you know, shift the, shift the feelings of resentment into one of, into ones of appreciation, into ones of joy?
00:04:05
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Because I think, I think it's easy to find ourselves.
00:04:09
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Well, it's easy to maybe not find ourselves, but it's easy to be in a place of resentment for resenting, you know,
00:04:16
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that things are not the way we want them to be uh more to the point that things are not the way we feel that they should be i think that's where the that's where the resentment comes in so um yeah and it's it's tricky this you know it's a it's a it's a challenging world out there so that's an easy place to uh find ourselves in uh my question my inquiry for you guys first of all is how do we go about like
00:04:41
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finding ourselves in this place that how do we identify how do we spot it is because sometimes it just it's over the head but sometimes it's just like low like low baseline kind of beating in the background of our lives so um either one of you just i would jump in and like how do you how do you identify that within yourself
00:04:59
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Yeah, good inquiry.
00:05:01
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And I love this topic because we're all human.
00:05:05
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We all have a range of emotions.
Body Awareness and Stress
00:05:07
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There is sometimes when we're feeling really, really good and everything is just rainbows and butterflies and other times when things are really tense and hard and difficult and frustrating.
00:05:18
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Yeah.
00:05:19
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And as a somatic body worker, I have really gotten to explore the interconnectedness of the mind and the body.
00:05:27
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And I, there's so much science now that shows as well how stress impacts the physical body and how grudges can actually store up in our, in our organs.
00:05:38
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And we can actually, you know, develop diseases from holding onto things like resentment or stress.
00:05:44
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Right.
00:05:45
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So personally, I listen to my body.
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My body is always giving me signs.
00:05:52
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It's always giving me information.
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That's just what it does, especially when we listen.
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Right.
00:05:58
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A lot of times it takes a practice to listen.
00:06:00
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But if I'm noticing that I have tension or I'm not sleeping well, or like I have, you know, my stomach is turning or a lot of times, like if there's something in like the back of my shoulders, the back of my neck tension, then I like to check in.
00:06:18
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All right, what's going on?
00:06:19
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What, what am I holding on to here?
00:06:21
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What do I need to let go of?
00:06:23
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And then usually I will do some journaling or some self inquiry kind of
00:06:28
Speaker
stuff to discover that maybe I'm holding onto some grudges or resentments.
00:06:34
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Um, that's the first place that I look or that I like get little signposts because before we, we got on this, um, recording, we were actually talking about, right?
00:06:43
Speaker
Like why, what about resentment?
00:06:45
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How do we know when we are resentful versus like just kind of
00:06:50
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expressing unconsciously.
00:06:52
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So that would be my initial spark is really listening to the body to be able to access where I'm going on.
00:07:00
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I could definitely get better at that.
00:07:02
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I think the tough thing in recognizing it is that I don't think
00:07:06
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People generally, myself included, feel like I am feeling resentful.
00:07:10
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Instead, I have these thoughts where I believe I have been wronged.
00:07:14
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I have a belief that someone is, you know, I just, I feel like righteous indignation about something.
00:07:20
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I feel like almost like it doesn't feel like I'm, because resentment, there's a negative.
00:07:27
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I don't want to be resentful, but I'm.
00:07:30
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I certainly can be justified in my anger towards somebody, or I can be justified in my feeling of this shouldn't be this way.
00:07:38
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And that's a tougher one for me is even is recognizing, wait a minute, is what is what is the source?
00:07:48
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What is the cause of this feeling?
00:07:50
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And maybe maybe I can do more inquiry on it.
00:07:53
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Maybe I need to listen to my body more.
00:07:55
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Yeah.
00:07:58
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I think we, yeah, we could all listen to our body a little bit more, I think.
00:08:02
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And it's, yeah, it can be, yeah, to identify that is one thing.
00:08:10
Speaker
And for me, something that has helped a lot, actually, recently, that is something that I gained earlier this year in therapy to recognize that, and this has helped me a lot to understand
00:08:26
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you know, to recognize what I'm feeling when I'm feeling that when I'm feeling that resentment or when I'm feeling like it's often it's sometimes it is about a situation.
00:08:36
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But I feel we often find ourselves in the space of feeling resembled towards a person, towards an individual or individuals.
00:08:45
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And an important delineation that I gained was the ability to recognize or the ability to remember that we are not so much feeling resentful about a person or towards a person as we are towards behavior.
00:09:01
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towards action or activity.
00:09:04
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And that has allowed me to really kind of take a breath and kind of relax.
00:09:10
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I always find that when I remember this, my body relaxes a little bit.
00:09:14
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I feel like a little bit of heaviness come out of it or a lot of it, a lot of heaviness come out of it.
00:09:19
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I just, that is a good reminder for me.
00:09:22
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And I think for a lot of us that, you
00:09:24
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To take it off, take the onus off the person is like, no, the person I actually love on an unconditional level.
00:09:33
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But the behavior is something that I'm not feeling great about or I'm feeling somewhat resentful about.
Communication Techniques for Resentment
00:09:39
Speaker
And kind of the going deeper into that, kind of what Halsey said that reminded me of something, the saying that goes something along the lines of you can be right or you can be happy.
00:09:53
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You have to choose.
00:09:55
Speaker
And it's a lot of that righteous indignation is like, no, they're wrong and they need to know that they're wrong.
00:10:02
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And then it's super.
00:10:04
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Resentment is something that can easily spiral into some deeper and heavier emotions or perspectives.
00:10:11
Speaker
And we want to catch ourselves because that's definitely one of those snowball kind of effects.
00:10:16
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And then we're not just dealing with, if we're not careful, we're not just dealing with resentment.
00:10:20
Speaker
We're dealing with
00:10:21
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a whole snowball's worth of negativity.
00:10:24
Speaker
And that's a lot easier to unpack off of ourselves than, than just a standard, you know, bargain basement resentment that a lot of us have to deal with.
00:10:33
Speaker
The inner growl.
00:10:34
Speaker
So like, you know, and then, yeah, then it turns into a grudge.
00:10:40
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That's what I, right.
00:10:42
Speaker
When we have like, like the snowball of resentment and you can start to feel it turn into that, like deep held grudge towards somebody that,
00:10:51
Speaker
towards, you know, something that might be happening, whether it's one person or, you know, the world, for example, like frustration towards like a certain group or something, you know, and then when we're going to sleep at night, tense, frustrated, tight, you know, and then what happens then is then there's constriction in our blood, right?
00:11:14
Speaker
Then we don't get as much oxygen to the brain.
00:11:17
Speaker
Then we start to develop all kinds of issues in our physical body, right?
00:11:21
Speaker
And it's so subtle.
00:11:22
Speaker
It's not like when you're holding a grudge, it's not like you're like, oh, I feel my body developing a tumor.
00:11:27
Speaker
You know, it happens over time and it's so connected.
00:11:32
Speaker
And so really, I love this conversation because it's good reminders for the importance of softening and of letting go and really doing our inner work, going inside ourselves and see where we can let go of that need to be right.
00:11:48
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And to be able to come back into a place of compassion.
00:11:51
Speaker
And that's what I'm also hearing from you, Yanis, too, is like when you can really see that it's a behavior, it's not the person.
00:11:59
Speaker
Because we each are, we have a higher self, right?
00:12:02
Speaker
We have a, you know, a soul.
00:12:05
Speaker
And it might just be that one part of somebody or that behavior of somebody else.
00:12:10
Speaker
And that can really open up a place of compassion, which I have found is the place that melts those grudges, that melts the resentments, that can really be that first rung towards a higher perspective.
00:12:24
Speaker
Yeah.
00:12:25
Speaker
I mean, I feel like people generally will always do the best they can with what they got in that moment.
00:12:34
Speaker
And so when a behavior is something that is causing you suffering or resentment,
00:12:39
Speaker
I mean, for whatever reason, that is the best they could do.
00:12:43
Speaker
And so there is some trauma, there is some stress or some frustration, there's some reason that they acted in that way.
00:12:52
Speaker
And so it doesn't make me happier with the outcome that I'm dealing with, but it does really help me soften the anger.
00:13:04
Speaker
If I can allow that person to be as they are in whatever way
00:13:08
Speaker
you know, state that they're in and whatever behaviors are showing, then it becomes my responsibility then becomes, well, what do I need to do to protect myself from this behavior continuing to hurt me?
00:13:20
Speaker
You know, is it, it could be as much as communication.
00:13:23
Speaker
It's amazing how many times I feel resentment because I think they should know better.
00:13:28
Speaker
Like, wait, they should know better.
00:13:31
Speaker
How could somebody know better unless I tell them, you know, and so a lot of resentment can build up in that, that space of,
00:13:40
Speaker
of having a script of what you expect someone to do, what you think they should do.
00:13:46
Speaker
But the way for me to break that down is, okay, they're doing the best they can.
00:13:49
Speaker
Maybe I can educate them in something that would help me.
00:13:53
Speaker
Mm hmm.
00:13:54
Speaker
Communication is so clutch for the healing.
00:13:57
Speaker
Right.
00:13:58
Speaker
Because I've noticed within my own self, you know, you know, I will either retract and pull away from the relationship and then hold on to that resentment and just believe that they'll never change.
00:14:11
Speaker
And then I'm like, you know, distance from this person.
00:14:14
Speaker
And that doesn't feel good.
00:14:16
Speaker
But when I use my, the tools for communication and move towards this person using what I love using as nonviolent communication, which is an amazing system by Marshall Rosenberg.
00:14:29
Speaker
If you guys haven't checked that out, it was like game changer.
00:14:33
Speaker
And the most simple formula within the NVC model is basically speaking to what your experience was, right?
00:14:42
Speaker
The facts, how it made you feel and emotion, right?
00:14:46
Speaker
the value systems that you hold, what's important to you, right?
00:14:49
Speaker
And then a request.
00:14:51
Speaker
So I'll give you an example, like to address something that to help to heal and shift out of that, that grudge, that resentment is saying, Hey, Hey, Halcyon, you know, when we had an agreement last week to meet up and we didn't, you know, you didn't show up, you ghosted me or I went to the place and you weren't there.
00:15:13
Speaker
I felt really sad.
00:15:14
Speaker
I felt really disconnected.
00:15:16
Speaker
I felt really frustrated.
00:15:17
Speaker
I started to feel really like judgmental, you know, because I value integrity and I value connection.
00:15:24
Speaker
I value communication.
00:15:25
Speaker
Would you be willing to let me know what happened to you or would you be willing to in the future communicate with me, give me a call?
00:15:34
Speaker
Because that would really help me a lot.
00:15:36
Speaker
versus, you know, without the NBC model, you never show up.
00:15:41
Speaker
You totally left me hanging, dude.
00:15:43
Speaker
Like, what's your deal?
00:15:44
Speaker
What's your problem?
00:15:46
Speaker
Like, I don't, I really don't appreciate that.
00:15:49
Speaker
And then what happens, right?
00:15:51
Speaker
You might respond with, well, I was busy.
00:15:54
Speaker
Well, and then it creates more fight.
00:15:58
Speaker
And so a simple breakdown of communication can really make a difference.
00:16:03
Speaker
The nonviolent communication, I think, gives a framework.
00:16:06
Speaker
to allow the other person to be the hero of the story instead of assigning them the villain role.
00:16:13
Speaker
You know, if you go off and say, you did this, then I'm immediately defensive, you know, and there's no healing in there.
00:16:20
Speaker
But if you give me a chance and say, here's the things that you could do, then I go, oh, well,
00:16:26
Speaker
That would feel good if I could be a good guy in this story.
00:16:29
Speaker
So I'd be happy to do that.
00:16:31
Speaker
But there are situations like I was thinking of, I had a friend who is continually late.
00:16:38
Speaker
And I started to feel resentful, sort of feel they didn't respect my time and had a sit down and communicated as best I could.
00:16:49
Speaker
They got better, but not good enough.
00:16:52
Speaker
Still late, late, late, late.
00:16:54
Speaker
And I continually was upset.
00:16:57
Speaker
I continually felt that resentment.
00:16:59
Speaker
And finally had to really, to kind of go to the, you know, the frog and the scorpion story.
00:17:05
Speaker
You know, the scorpion comes up to the frog and says, hey, would you give me a ride across the river?
00:17:10
Speaker
And the frog says, are you kidding me?
00:17:12
Speaker
No way.
00:17:13
Speaker
As soon as you get on my back, you're going to sting me and kill me.
00:17:16
Speaker
And the scorpion says, no.
00:17:18
Speaker
Why would I do that?
00:17:19
Speaker
That would be crazy.
00:17:19
Speaker
If I stung you, you would drown and we both die.
00:17:23
Speaker
And he goes, I guess that makes sense.
00:17:25
Speaker
And swimming across the way, swimming, swimming, swimming, swimming midway in the river.
00:17:29
Speaker
Scorpion stings a frog.
00:17:31
Speaker
They both die.
00:17:33
Speaker
And as he's going under the water, a frog says, why would you do that?
00:17:37
Speaker
And the scorpion says.
00:17:39
Speaker
I'm a scorpion, man.
00:17:41
Speaker
And sometimes people are scorpions.
00:17:44
Speaker
And so then you have to make a different decision of how do I deal with it?
00:17:47
Speaker
So with that person, I simply said, I would say, I'm leaving at this time.
00:17:54
Speaker
And then I left.
00:17:55
Speaker
And if I said it very clearly, and you can find your own way, you know, if moving forward.
00:18:03
Speaker
And after that, I was able to let go of all resentment and just say, you know what, I'm taking care of my needs.
00:18:10
Speaker
You will find some other solution.
00:18:13
Speaker
And that it required these steps.
00:18:16
Speaker
And to me, that they, at least in terms of time, they were damn scorpion.
00:18:24
Speaker
Yeah.
00:18:25
Speaker
And there's, there's something to be said for respecting who somebody is and kind of recognizing like, okay, this is who they are.
00:18:33
Speaker
Or this is, and back to the point I made earlier, like this is the behavior that is intrinsic to them that I don't like.
00:18:40
Speaker
So I need to remove myself gracefully, compassionately from being susceptible to being affected by that behavior.
00:18:50
Speaker
And there's ways to go about that.
00:18:51
Speaker
But what I like about the NBC model is that it's easy to...
00:18:57
Speaker
Like saying like, like that's his example.
00:18:58
Speaker
First example is like you did this and I don't like that and dah, dah, dah, why are you always like this?
00:19:02
Speaker
That doesn't leave any room for, even if like, let's say in the example you guys went through, like housing could be like, oh, I'm, I'm so sorry.
00:19:10
Speaker
So on and so forth.
00:19:11
Speaker
But there's such a charge around it that housing might say the right thing.
00:19:17
Speaker
I apologize, but yeah.
00:19:19
Speaker
the likelihood of you two guys trying to get together again is pretty low because it's just because you're neither one of you are going to want to like be susceptible to that.
00:19:27
Speaker
The NVC model allows there to be an opening, allows there to be everybody's going to everybody gets what they want.
00:19:33
Speaker
And it's it feels good to to give something to somebody.
00:19:36
Speaker
When somebody makes a request, we want likely.
00:19:40
Speaker
Usually we'd like to say yes to that.
00:19:42
Speaker
So when somebody makes that request at the end of the NVC kind of model,
00:19:47
Speaker
We're inclined to say, yes, I can give you this thing that you were looking for or requesting.
00:19:51
Speaker
And then everybody's a good guy.
00:19:52
Speaker
Everybody feels good.
00:19:53
Speaker
The likelihood of a solid, strong friendship or relationship or what have you can continue from that.
00:19:58
Speaker
So we've talked about NBC before.
00:20:02
Speaker
We will talk about it again because it's fantastic.
00:20:04
Speaker
And I would exhort people who are listening to really kind of get familiar with the model.
00:20:09
Speaker
It's really pretty fantastic.
00:20:11
Speaker
It's a great tool to have in life.
00:20:12
Speaker
So yeah.
00:20:15
Speaker
One thing that inspired me with you guys was real quick.
00:20:19
Speaker
The idea of a when it comes to resentment, accepting apology that you're never going to get is a big thing from people like realizing like like, for example, like with my my parents.
00:20:33
Speaker
They died when I was early in my 20s and did not have a a fan.
00:20:38
Speaker
I'll just not have a fantastic childhood, so to speak.
00:20:41
Speaker
But after their passing, I carried a lot of resentment for decades towards them.
00:20:47
Speaker
And I would to the point like not frequently, but I would have nightmares about just experiencing them both again as a child and even as an adult.
00:20:56
Speaker
And
00:20:56
Speaker
And just kind of carrying this, but after doing, you know, my own work, like medicine work and other, other stuff just got to a point where I was like, you know, how about if I just like forgive them?
00:21:08
Speaker
Um, and I find that doing it, doing it simultaneously was a little much for me.
00:21:12
Speaker
So I just started with my father and just really had a meditation with his energy and just who he was.
00:21:18
Speaker
And, and the thing that triggered my memory of this housing was you saying, um,
00:21:24
Speaker
Was talking about now you forget what that was actually.
00:21:28
Speaker
So my thought, but you triggered my memory about that was just being like, you know, I can I can forgive.
00:21:35
Speaker
I can forgive my father for doing the best with the tools that they have.
00:21:39
Speaker
That's what you said that reminded me of that.
00:21:41
Speaker
He was doing the best with the tools that they have, which never I refuse to accept that.
00:21:46
Speaker
earlier, but then I finally was like, no, that's, that it's actually true.
00:21:50
Speaker
So I was able to forgive him, hug him, like just mentally and emotionally, energetically, and then kind of release him.
00:21:57
Speaker
And it was such a, I just felt it immediately
Letting Go of Resentment
00:22:00
Speaker
to slop off.
00:22:00
Speaker
I felt so much lighter and have not, that was a few years ago.
00:22:04
Speaker
And I have those like nightmares regarding him have just, they're gone.
00:22:08
Speaker
And you know, it's one of those things you don't realize you're carrying it and you don't realize you're carrying this weight of it until you let it go.
00:22:15
Speaker
Um, which can be, which can be tricky.
00:22:18
Speaker
And last thing I want to say about that, because it reminded me of something else, the old, the old, the old Buddhist saying about how do we, how do we let go of things like anger and judgment and resentment that we have towards an individual or towards a group of people or any, any level, like how do we let go of these things?
00:22:38
Speaker
that are weighing us down.
00:22:39
Speaker
And the answer is that you let go of them the same way that you let go of a hot stone that you have picked up that has been baked hot by the sun.
00:22:47
Speaker
You just let it go.
00:22:48
Speaker
You simply let it go.
00:22:50
Speaker
And then you need to let go of the story that you have about why it's not that easy for you.
00:22:56
Speaker
And this is like, you know, this is a, it's a tricky thing, but to do, but that is that little saying has guided me through, through my life.
00:23:06
Speaker
Me like, how do I let this thing go?
00:23:07
Speaker
You, you just let it go.
00:23:08
Speaker
It's yeah, it's only as hard as we want it to be.
00:23:12
Speaker
And part of that can be stop picking it up.
00:23:16
Speaker
Why are you picking it up?
00:23:17
Speaker
from a place of presence, at some point you go from presence to picking it up.
00:23:21
Speaker
And if you can start to recognize that, that's the, that's the other part of letting it go.
00:23:29
Speaker
Well, and it also comes back to like, that stone is burning your hand.
00:23:34
Speaker
Not anyone else is like impacting your body.
00:23:38
Speaker
And then I also really want to highlight something that you said, and I'm a huge proponent of is the self-inquiry.
00:23:45
Speaker
the questions that we're asking can actually help to direct our conscious, subconscious, unconscious mind, right?
00:23:52
Speaker
So just even being in that question, how can I let this go?
00:23:56
Speaker
How can I start to soften around this frustration that I have?
00:24:00
Speaker
How can I start to forgive a little bit more?
00:24:03
Speaker
is a really beautiful access to the path of letting it go, right?
00:24:08
Speaker
Because if you've held on to something for decades, like you're talking about, or lifetimes, then it can be a process.
00:24:15
Speaker
And, you know, dropping that stone, it's not always so easy to do, but to just start the process of being curious, how can I start to let this go?
00:24:25
Speaker
How can I
00:24:27
Speaker
relaxed around the situation.
00:24:28
Speaker
How can I forgive this person?
00:24:30
Speaker
How can I start to see things from a different perspective, right?
00:24:34
Speaker
Those kinds of inquiries on a regular basis, I feel are, are affirmations, right?
00:24:41
Speaker
It is a deep inquiry within our own self to be able to get to that place of liberation.
00:24:49
Speaker
And I feel like that that's huge.
00:24:52
Speaker
Yeah, I want to share.
00:24:53
Speaker
I hope I haven't shared this before a story of of of understanding people and doing the best they can with what they got.
00:25:00
Speaker
I would go to these meditations and lectures for years and they would close the door when the meditation started.
00:25:09
Speaker
And occasionally people would open the door and find their way to a seat.
00:25:13
Speaker
during the meditation and i would be so angry and so resentful for these people for for make shuffling their feet and making this noise as they were going to their seat during the meditation just like like week after week suffering at this at the sound of them and then in a meditation i had this memory come up of 20 years ago being in japan staying at this zazen meditation retreat where
00:25:36
Speaker
And unknowingly, I went loudly up the stairway during a meditation.
00:25:41
Speaker
And the next day, the main monk sat me down and said, hey, you know, just we love having you here.
00:25:48
Speaker
However, if you could be a little quieter in the stairways during scheduled meditations.
00:25:54
Speaker
And I was so embarrassed and I was so humiliated.
00:25:58
Speaker
And for years that held onto me and I'm sitting in meditation, hearing the people rustling and realize that I'd never forgiven myself for that moment.
00:26:10
Speaker
And I went through this whole thing of like, wait a minute, I was a kid.
00:26:13
Speaker
I didn't know any better.
00:26:15
Speaker
I learned better.
00:26:16
Speaker
And then I never did it again.
00:26:18
Speaker
I forgive myself.
00:26:20
Speaker
And from then on,
00:26:22
Speaker
doesn't bother me you know when people shuffle in and i realized that if it did bother me i would walk over to them gently and say hi you know in the future if you're coming in towards your seat could you be quiet and it's like it's so much but for years held on to that resentment because i hadn't forgiven myself but we did the best we can with what we got until we know better so powerful yeah yeah this reminds me of um
00:26:51
Speaker
one of the sayings by Carl Jung, the psycho, the psychotherapist who said something along the lines, like if you spot it, you got it.
00:27:02
Speaker
So if we are holding things like resentment or anger, judgment towards somebody else, it is simply because they are reflecting something that is going on within us that we don't like.
00:27:14
Speaker
And we might not even be consciously aware of it, but it's in there.
00:27:19
Speaker
And so whenever I'm looking, I got my finger going, you know, the point one finger pointing out three fingers pointing back.
00:27:24
Speaker
That's how it works.
00:27:26
Speaker
It's like, that's my stuff.
00:27:28
Speaker
And I have found that if I remember that when I'm having, when I'm in these feelings, when I'm in my feelings towards somebody else is because of how it's a reflection of how I'm feeling about something, a situation in my life, something that I have not experienced.
00:27:43
Speaker
dealt with or come to terms with, I don't like whatever.
00:27:47
Speaker
Um, and it's a reminder like, okay, if I kind of heal that within myself, I'm going to stop seeing that in somebody else.
00:27:54
Speaker
And you know, that self inquiry, it could, it can be tricky because it's, it's, you know, it's work.
00:27:59
Speaker
It's, it's self work and it's, it's really being self-aware and there's always levels to that self-awareness.
00:28:06
Speaker
And some of that is not easy to get to.
00:28:08
Speaker
So Betsy, I wanted to ask you because you said something in the conversation, um,
00:28:13
Speaker
leading up to before we started recording today that I really found was insightful.
00:28:20
Speaker
How do we recognize maybe what's a way to recognize that we're holding on to some subconscious resentment towards somebody?
00:28:27
Speaker
It's a way that we can kind of identify like during our communication with people or just how we're doing the world.
00:28:35
Speaker
Do you have like tools, a tool or tools that you have to kind of recognize what's going on within us?
00:28:42
Speaker
Yeah.
00:28:42
Speaker
Yeah.
00:28:43
Speaker
We had a really great conversation before the recording and I think I know what you're talking about.
00:28:48
Speaker
Just in reflection around how do we know that we're holding resentment?
00:28:53
Speaker
For me personally, where I've gotten to do a lot of work and have had a lot of insight is the subconscious kind of passive aggressive kind of
00:29:05
Speaker
communication that has come out in different relationships.
00:29:09
Speaker
And that usually is a signpost for me to really look at what's, what's deeper under there.
00:29:15
Speaker
You know, I've seen it plenty of times in my, my lineage and in different relationships.
00:29:23
Speaker
And it is always a really beautiful opportunity to redirect and shift and
00:29:29
Speaker
to look at myself, right?
00:29:30
Speaker
It's like, oh, wow, that actually was passive aggressive.
00:29:33
Speaker
That has nothing to do with you.
00:29:35
Speaker
This has something to do with me and what I'm holding on to, right?
00:29:39
Speaker
So I feel like those kind of remarks are,
00:29:43
Speaker
or like little daggers that come out of our voices, you know, at times.
00:29:48
Speaker
And I'm really grateful that I've had a lot of growth in my relationships to be able to minimize and not be doing that, not be throwing daggers like I used to.
00:30:01
Speaker
Because that is so unhealthy.
00:30:03
Speaker
And I really value healthy relationships and healthy communication.
00:30:07
Speaker
And it does take a lot of self-inquiry to do, to be able to have access to that awareness.
00:30:14
Speaker
And for me, when you're asking like, what tools have I used to be able to have greater awareness is writing, writing,
00:30:22
Speaker
Honestly, writing and journaling has been one of the greatest gifts to myself and doing very specific self-inquiry kind of things.
00:30:31
Speaker
And so I love writing letters to myself.
00:30:35
Speaker
I love writing letters to my higher self to ask for insight.
00:30:40
Speaker
There's a practice called automatic writing.
00:30:42
Speaker
If you guys have never done that before, that's a really beautiful way to be able to connect to your higher self, connect to your higher wisdom, to a deeper inner awareness and intuition.
00:30:54
Speaker
And so that's been really, really helpful because if I'm holding a frustration or a grudge towards someone or like feeling really annoyed by certain things that somebody's doing, or if I notice that those kind of like
00:31:06
Speaker
little projections that are coming out, then that's perfect opportunity for me to have a, have a breakthrough, a insight about who I am and what do I have to heal?
00:31:18
Speaker
How is this person actually reflecting back to me what I need to see within myself?
00:31:23
Speaker
Like you're talking about pointing the finger outward is really like, Hey, time to look at myself, you know?
00:31:29
Speaker
So if I'm noticing I'm blaming somebody time to come back to my meditation pillow,
00:31:36
Speaker
center myself, take some breaths and then inquire, you know, and maybe writing isn't for everybody.
00:31:44
Speaker
Maybe, maybe, uh,
00:31:47
Speaker
You know, another way to be able to connect to your higher self is through just communicating, just talking to a friend today who she sits at her altar and she just, she just talks to God.
00:31:58
Speaker
She just talks and talks and lets things out and asks questions to her higher self to, to source, to creator, to God, and then listens for the answers.
00:32:08
Speaker
Right.
00:32:08
Speaker
And so I feel like we have the, we have so much inside when we really are willing to listen and let the, the answers come.
00:32:18
Speaker
Love that.
00:32:19
Speaker
I want to give one more argument in favor of writing, which is that sometimes just the act of getting the ideas or the resentment recorded on paper is
00:32:33
Speaker
lets your mind let go of it a little bit.
00:32:34
Speaker
I think we spend a lot of energy holding onto the things that at some levels of conflict we know are important, whether it's a to-do list or this person wronged me.
00:32:43
Speaker
It's just there's loops in your brain that are always being used, holding onto the stuff that you don't want to forget.
00:32:49
Speaker
You don't want to forget that they wronged you.
00:32:50
Speaker
But if you get it written,
00:32:52
Speaker
Your brain can go, okay, I can file it.
00:32:56
Speaker
It's not, I'm not forgetting because that's a lot harder for the brain to just forgive and forget.
00:33:01
Speaker
But if you can write it down, you can set it aside and doesn't take up the same kind of brain power.
00:33:07
Speaker
Totally.
00:33:08
Speaker
And then once you see it out on paper, then you can start to see where those actually unhealthy thoughts are.
Tools for Emotional Growth
00:33:15
Speaker
So like I was talking about questions, right?
00:33:16
Speaker
The questions that we ask really do point to our focus and shape our reality.
00:33:22
Speaker
And so if I start writing down my thoughts around a frustration around a certain person, for example, I, one of the biggest ones that I've seen is really insightful is the question is why does she always do that?
00:33:36
Speaker
Why is she so annoying?
00:33:38
Speaker
Why does she always do that to me?
00:33:41
Speaker
That question, when I see that come out on paper, that shows me the victim that I'm playing.
00:33:48
Speaker
And going, oh, wait a second.
00:33:50
Speaker
I actually don't want to be playing the victim.
00:33:53
Speaker
I'm not a victim, but I'm actually kind of training myself to believe that I am.
00:33:58
Speaker
And so when I see that on paper, I'm like, you know what?
00:34:00
Speaker
I actually want to rewrite that question instead of why does she always do that to me?
00:34:06
Speaker
Then I'm going to start to shift into a question that's more along the lines of what does this person have to teach me right now about myself?
00:34:15
Speaker
You know, how can I learn from the repetition of what this person continues to do?
00:34:20
Speaker
How is this person a mirror for me?
00:34:21
Speaker
Right.
00:34:22
Speaker
Where can I start to have an insight from this relationship?
00:34:27
Speaker
Those kinds of questions help me grow.
00:34:30
Speaker
And I'd rather be growing than holding on to the victim mentality.
00:34:34
Speaker
Yeah, that holding on is what prevents that growth, for sure.
00:34:39
Speaker
That's good by both you guys on that.
00:34:43
Speaker
And that was something I read back in the day was when you hear the words, whether you're writing or when it's being in conversation, when the words always –
00:34:54
Speaker
or never get spoken, that should be like a thunderclap that you did just catches you'd be like, all right, somebody is running a story or is running something, you know, where there's a victim mentality or whatever, but that should be, you should stop and be in inquiry, inquire into where that always
00:35:13
Speaker
and or never comes from um because that is because nothing is all ways and never it's you know it has we we all have our moments and if we start to start to use those two words um you know it's a good good idea it's a good indicator that um we are not operating our our best at our best selves so to speak so um yeah real quick also um i know we talked about it before but um
00:35:41
Speaker
A good way to kind of suss that out.
00:35:43
Speaker
Writing is fantastic.
00:35:44
Speaker
And a good way I found is to remove myself from my environment and really get out into go to the beach, go for a hike, just be out in the world with no music, reduce the stimulation, reduce the input so that you can let what's in you kind of come out.
00:36:02
Speaker
And when I...
00:36:03
Speaker
When I go to, when I take a hike and I don't have my headphones on or anything, I'm just out there.
00:36:08
Speaker
I find that when it's quiet, I find that all this stuff kind of comes up.
00:36:12
Speaker
Sometimes it's good if I'm really in a good place, but if I'm holding on to something, that comes up too.
00:36:16
Speaker
And I'd be able to think about it a little more clearly.
00:36:20
Speaker
Just getting out of our noisy environment can help me a lot with that.
00:36:25
Speaker
I just wanted to mention the tool for inquiry of Byron Katie's work.
00:36:30
Speaker
She actually has the judge your neighbor worksheet where you allow yourself to go through those thoughts and then to find the lessons in them.
00:36:41
Speaker
Yeah, plus one for Byron Katie.
00:36:42
Speaker
She's great.
00:36:44
Speaker
Oh, such a powerful resource.
00:36:47
Speaker
Um, also movement has really helped me, you know, in those moments where it's like, I'm so frustrated, whether it's us, you know, towards a certain person or what might be happening globally.
00:37:00
Speaker
I'm like holding all this tension in my body because of like, you know, whatever might be happening, get out and move.
00:37:09
Speaker
Right.
00:37:10
Speaker
I feel like for me, it's dance, dancing, moving, getting like the fluid moving in my system.
00:37:17
Speaker
Some people it's working out really hard.
00:37:18
Speaker
Some people it's biking.
00:37:19
Speaker
Some people it's running.
00:37:20
Speaker
Maybe it's swimming.
00:37:22
Speaker
But I find that is such a beautiful way to be able to create the space within the physical body to release that tension and then can come to some clarity.
00:37:32
Speaker
Right.
00:37:32
Speaker
So I also love this tool.
00:37:35
Speaker
Like if I'm going to have to have a conversation with somebody that might be a little challenging, might have to use a little NBC, might have to do a clearing.
00:37:43
Speaker
Then I like to move my body beforehand.
00:37:46
Speaker
And it might only be just one minute of like shaking it out.
00:37:50
Speaker
Or maybe it is like some like sun salutations, right?
00:37:54
Speaker
Getting into the fluid motion of my body.
00:37:58
Speaker
So that way I can come to the conversation with more clarity of my voice, clarity of my emotions.
00:38:04
Speaker
I feel more grounded.
00:38:07
Speaker
I'm not coming from that more tense emotional place, right?
00:38:11
Speaker
Because it's very difficult to communicate when we are in heightened emotion and movement getting in the body can help to really ground us.
00:38:21
Speaker
Indeed.
00:38:22
Speaker
Indeed.
00:38:22
Speaker
And yes, I think the takeaway from the last few minutes is just we got to have, you know, there's all just tools that we have and you got to have some tools in your belt, you know, whether it's writing or movement or sparks or, you know, writing a movement or getting out in nature, something along those lines.
00:38:42
Speaker
You know, it's important to get a tool.
00:38:45
Speaker
So, yeah.
00:38:47
Speaker
So I feel like
00:38:49
Speaker
Yeah, we dove deep into this and it's time to kind of rise to the surface of this topic and wrap it up.
00:38:57
Speaker
So closing sparks, I'm going to start.
00:39:03
Speaker
I feel what helps me, and this isn't for, that's certainly not for everybody, but this definitely helped me a lot to realize that when I'm in a space of resentment, I'm
00:39:18
Speaker
or upset or what have you, remembering that the only thing that ever upsets or disappoints me or causes resentment in me is
00:39:29
Speaker
really rooted in my own judgment and expectations for people or for situations to be different than they are.
00:39:36
Speaker
It is, it is a resistance to accepting what is, that's what fosters these, these feelings in me.
00:39:43
Speaker
And so when I remember that to be like, Oh, it's like, okay, I expected that to be different or expected them to be different.
00:39:51
Speaker
Okay.
00:39:51
Speaker
That's not, that's not how they are.
00:39:53
Speaker
Once I accept that, okay, this is how they are.
00:39:55
Speaker
This is how the behavior is.
00:39:58
Speaker
I find that I'm really quickly able to kind of shift that and kind of almost instantaneously come out of that place for resentment and focus it back on myself.
00:40:06
Speaker
Okay, so why am I feeling resentful about this as opposed to just being in it?
00:40:12
Speaker
Why am I feeling this way?
00:40:13
Speaker
And oftentimes it's harder for me to justify it.
00:40:19
Speaker
And from that place of self inquiry, again, once again, and, you know, kind of goes back, I think we may have said it before.
00:40:25
Speaker
It's worth saying again, though, it's like, you know, kind of the real there, the mindset or the realization, like, okay, you can be right, or you can be happy.
00:40:34
Speaker
And we're often not able to do both at the same time.
00:40:38
Speaker
So that that need to not be right.
00:40:42
Speaker
let it go.
00:40:44
Speaker
Um, and one of the things we can let go when I find that I'm able to do that, you know, kind of just, ah, ease and, and relaxation.
00:40:52
Speaker
And dare I say, happiness kind of comes rushing in as a result.
00:40:55
Speaker
So that's, um, yeah, just continued self-reinclosure.
00:40:59
Speaker
It's good for me.
00:41:01
Speaker
And breath, right.
00:41:03
Speaker
I just talk a deep breath.
00:41:04
Speaker
I'm hearing that.
00:41:05
Speaker
Let it go.
00:41:06
Speaker
I just
00:41:09
Speaker
the quality of our breath really impacts the quality of our life.
00:41:14
Speaker
Let things go.
00:41:16
Speaker
We start to breathe a little deeper and, you know, I'll share my closing spark when it comes down to it.
00:41:24
Speaker
We need more harmony, more peace on this planet at this time.
00:41:29
Speaker
Always, always.
00:41:30
Speaker
There is already so much division and so much war and fighting and horrible things happening on the planet.
00:41:39
Speaker
And I personally feel the more that we can cultivate our own sense of inner peace and
00:41:45
Speaker
our own healthy relationships at home, in our close relationships, then we are contributing to a better world, right?
00:41:53
Speaker
There's so much at stake right now.
00:41:56
Speaker
And I feel it is ever more important to let go of the small stuff, really come back into places of love for each other.
Inner Work and Global Peace
00:42:06
Speaker
We can forgive, we can let go of past resentments and move towards greater harmony, right?
00:42:12
Speaker
It is such a beautiful gift that we can give to the people in our lives, to the greater whole, right?
00:42:19
Speaker
It can create a ripple when we really find that place of forgiveness within ourselves, kindness for each other, love for each other, peace in the world.
00:42:30
Speaker
So that's my biggest closing spark is really when we do our own inner work, it makes a big difference in the world.
00:42:39
Speaker
Amen to that.
00:42:40
Speaker
Amen.
00:42:41
Speaker
Well, I'll just give a little bitty tool for letting go of resentment that helps me is if I imagine that the person that I feel has wronged me or continues to wrong me is like an old dog that piddles every time it gets excited.
00:43:01
Speaker
And I can get angry every time it pees on the ground.
00:43:05
Speaker
Or I can just figure out what do I need to do to make sure that that doesn't happen?
00:43:09
Speaker
I need to make sure I only greet it outside or never greet it.
00:43:13
Speaker
Stop, take it out of my life.
00:43:14
Speaker
But it's going to piddle.
00:43:16
Speaker
So am I going to get mad about it?
00:43:19
Speaker
Or am I going to take the hot stone and put it down or never pick up the hot stone and just figure out a way to avoid pee on the ground?
00:43:26
Speaker
Or maybe I just, I'm okay with, I got to pee cleaning it up every time.
00:43:30
Speaker
But at least I'm free from the resentment of it because that's just the way it is.
00:43:35
Speaker
Yes.
00:43:36
Speaker
Acceptance, love and modifying.
00:43:38
Speaker
Yep.
00:43:39
Speaker
Don't sweat the small stuff.
00:43:42
Speaker
And it's all small stuff.
00:43:43
Speaker
Life is so precious.
00:43:46
Speaker
Life is so precious and not to be taken for granted.
00:43:49
Speaker
And we get to choose how we want to respond to the way the world reacts.
00:43:54
Speaker
Right.
00:43:55
Speaker
And yeah, just happiness is not a destination.
00:43:59
Speaker
It is a means of travel.
00:44:01
Speaker
It is.
00:44:01
Speaker
It is.
00:44:02
Speaker
It is a journey.
00:44:03
Speaker
So the more we go on that drop off the excess baggage of resentment will go a lot, lot smoother, a lot faster, a lot farther.
00:44:13
Speaker
So.
00:44:13
Speaker
Yeah.
00:44:15
Speaker
So speaking of traveling, thank you.
00:44:17
Speaker
Is there a yes, as we're on this travel of happy and the journey of happiness, I think each of us have ways that can facilitate that.
00:44:28
Speaker
Betsy, how can you facilitate the happiness journey?
00:44:33
Speaker
Yes, I am here in service to sustainable happiness.
00:44:37
Speaker
And I'm really passionate about helping people to cultivate a healthy relationship with themselves, which then creates healthy relationships without, right, or throughout.
00:44:50
Speaker
So you can find my company, poweraffirmation.com, which has a variety of tools and resources to really cultivate that inner happiness and self-inquiry through journaling, through meditation, through movement.
00:45:04
Speaker
There's a journal, there's audio affirmations, one-on-one coaching.
00:45:08
Speaker
I also love working with people in person, doing somatic body work and healing work, mind, body, spirit, and
00:45:15
Speaker
transformational work.
00:45:16
Speaker
So get in touch with me.
00:45:18
Speaker
You can find me on my website.
00:45:19
Speaker
You can also find me on all the socials.
00:45:21
Speaker
I love connecting with people who are on that path of transformation and who are willing to contribute to a better world by doing that inner work.
00:45:30
Speaker
So yes, please reach out.
00:45:31
Speaker
And I think I put a free gift in the, in the show notes.
00:45:35
Speaker
So check it out.
00:45:37
Speaker
Fantastic.
00:45:37
Speaker
Fantastic.
00:45:40
Speaker
I can be found and service as well to the world at large via my nutritional supplement company called New World Nutritionals spelled N-U-World Nutritionals dot com.
00:45:51
Speaker
We have nutritional supplements designed to elevate and improve your state of mind.
00:45:56
Speaker
alleviates helps our products help to alleviate symptoms of anxiety, depression, PTSD, ADHD.
00:46:03
Speaker
It's good for multiple forms of dementia and neurological, any neurological ailments.
00:46:09
Speaker
It's a lot of people are getting really good results.
00:46:11
Speaker
Happy to say, and you can check us out on new world nutritionals.com.
00:46:16
Speaker
You can use the code sparked to get 10% off of all of our products.
00:46:21
Speaker
Wonderful.
00:46:22
Speaker
Amazing.
00:46:23
Speaker
And my goodies are found at johnstyn.com, J-O-H-N-S-T-Y-N, including daily gratitudes in Zoom, which some of you have never attended.
00:46:35
Speaker
And I, you know, I have a little resentment about that.
00:46:38
Speaker
But, you know, I'm sure we're all doing the best we can with what we got.
00:46:45
Speaker
And
00:46:47
Speaker
And I'm just getting, you know what?
00:46:52
Speaker
Yeah.
00:46:53
Speaker
Come by, say hello sometime.
00:46:55
Speaker
It'd be awesome.
00:46:58
Speaker
I wasn't talking to you guys.
00:47:00
Speaker
I see your places in zoom every week.
00:47:02
Speaker
I mean, anyone who's, who's listening in, I, no guilt.
00:47:06
Speaker
I accept you exactly as you are, but if you would like to join me, you can find the links at johnston.com.
00:47:14
Speaker
great fantastic fantastic thanks for uh thanks for checking us out people uh betsy can you close us out with some uh a little bit of some of those power affirmations for the people
00:47:28
Speaker
Yes, yes, yes.
00:47:30
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I would love to.
00:47:32
Speaker
And in the spirit of this conversation, love to offer some affirmations that come in the form of statements and also in the form of questions.
00:47:40
Speaker
So remembering that affirmations are, we're saying them all day long.
00:47:45
Speaker
right?
00:47:45
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Whether we realize it or not.
00:47:48
Speaker
And so when we focus on consciously injecting our mindset with affirmations and questions, then we start to direct our subconscious mind in a way that we so choose.
00:48:00
Speaker
So if you would like, you can close your eyes.
00:48:04
Speaker
If you like, you can take a deep breath and put your hand on your heart and repeat after me.
00:48:12
Speaker
I easily release.
00:48:16
Speaker
and let go of all that no longer serves.
00:48:20
Speaker
I easily release and let go of all that no longer serves.
00:48:26
Speaker
How may I begin to forgive?
00:48:29
Speaker
How may I begin to forgive?
00:48:33
Speaker
How may I begin to soften and forgive?
Closing Affirmations
00:48:37
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I easily let go of past judgments and frustrations and resentments and come into greater happiness and harmony within myself.
00:48:47
Speaker
I easily release past resentments and frustrations and come into greater peace and harmony with myself.
00:48:56
Speaker
I am peaceful.
00:48:57
Speaker
I am peaceful.
00:48:59
Speaker
I am peaceful.
00:49:00
Speaker
I am peaceful.
00:49:01
Speaker
I am peaceful.
00:49:04
Speaker
Continuing to repeat that in your mind.
00:49:06
Speaker
I am peaceful.
00:49:10
Speaker
Letting that continue to linger as long as you like, knowing that you are contributing to a better world by cultivating our own peace within.
00:49:18
Speaker
Thank you for listening.
00:49:22
Speaker
Stay sparked, people.