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Living Life on Purpose with Adam Carroll
66 Plays1 month ago
What does it take to lead yourself well? On this episode of The Cultivating Leaders Podcast, TEDx speaker and financial expert Adam Carroll opens up about his personal journey from financial struggles to building a life of intentionality and resilience. Adam believes that great leadership starts with self-discipline and clarity in your own life.
In this conversation, Adam dives into:
- Self-leadership: Why leading yourself well is key to leading others effectively.
- Intentional living: How setting goals and creating boundaries can drive personal and professional growth.
- Financial clarity: Simple ways to build a healthier relationship with money and reduce stress.
Adam’s story is a reminder that resilience and strong leadership start with the daily choices we make. Whether you're looking to grow as a leader or gain more control over your life, this episode is packed with practical insights to inspire your journey.
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About The Cultivating Leaders Podcast
Real stories. Practical advice. Tangible growth. Join The Cultivating Leaders Podcast, brought to you by Agriculture Future of America, as we explore what it takes to lead in food, agriculture, and beyond. Whether you’re just starting out or leading at the highest level, this podcast is your go-to resource for leadership that matters. Listen now and start cultivating your leadership journey.
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Transcript
Introduction and Guest Overview
00:00:05
Speaker
Welcome to the Cultivating Leaders podcast, where we get inside the minds of leaders to harvest great ideas and lessons that help you grow as a difference maker in food and agriculture. I'm your host and curiosity captain, Nicole Ursig. Today, we are thrilled to have Adam Carroll with us, a visionary leader whose work includes financial literacy, personal empowerment, and leadership development.
Adam Carroll's Shred Method and Financial Insights
00:00:26
Speaker
Adam is the founder of The Shred Method, a groundbreaking platform that equips individuals with strategies for achieving financial independence.
00:00:34
Speaker
He is also a keynote speaker, author of four bestselling books, and creator of the impactful documentary Broke, Busted, and Disgusted, featured on CNBC. His thought-provoking TED Talks, which have accumulated nearly seven million views, highlight his profound insights on leadership, money, and financial literacy.
Adam's Personal Background and Journey
00:00:53
Speaker
Adam, welcome to the pod. Thank you. I'm so excited to be with you. I'm so glad you're here. What did I miss from your bio?
00:00:59
Speaker
Uh, I'm a father of three, uh, husband of 25 years, which is kind of, uh, shocking the that same the numbers out loud. Um, but to know that I have three kids who are now 16, 19 and 21 still kind of blows my mind. Where are you from? adam I am from Des Moines, Iowa area. I was born and raised in Des Moines. I grew up in a small town just south of Des Moines where I graduated from high school and then went to the University of Northern Iowa for my undergrad degree and then promptly did what most Midwestern kids do. I left the state and went to Colorado and spent three years there, spent a year in Texas, a little bit of time in California, and then ah the mothership called me home and I'm back in Des Moines.
00:01:45
Speaker
Love that. Okay, so do you have a background in agriculture at all? ah I would say that my background in agriculture is somewhat limited to my grandparents owned a small hobby farm. And we used to love to go and spend weeks during the summer with them. ah My grandfather raised chickens, he had a small herd of cattle, um basically rented farm ground and did a little bit of row crop farming. um But we got to go and help him during the summers and it was a blast to do that.
00:02:14
Speaker
Awesome. Well, I you know always got to ask if there's some connection to agriculture. I know you've been working with AFA for years and years, and so I'm very glad to have you today.
Understanding the Shred Method for Financial Efficiency
00:02:24
Speaker
So ah let's begin with the Shred Method. Tell me, what is the Shred Method, Adam? Yeah, the Shred Method is a unique cash flow tool that helps people create income efficiency, which then allows them to blast away debt in record time.
00:02:39
Speaker
So I've been a big proponent and fan of of people achieving freedom and flexibility in their lives. And quite often what I find is the debt load they're under is what keeps them from achieving financial freedom and flexibility. And so I found this this methodology. We ah enhanced it, named it the Shred Method and started coaching people through it. And we've helped hundreds of folks pay off their mortgages and student loans and credit card debt.
00:03:06
Speaker
um in literally months in some cases as opposed to decades. Wow, that's incredible. ah How did you get passionate about doing things like this, like helping people get out of debt?
00:03:18
Speaker
ah you know We're going to go on the way back machine a little bit. When I graduated from UNI, I ah tell AFA students this all the time, but I had $8,000 in credit card debt. I was upside down on my car. I had $37,000 in student loans. I was kind of your stereotypical debt statistic and realized that I could get out of it relatively quickly um through the nudging and urging of my wife who said, get rid of your debt or I'm going to get rid of you. but That's good motivation. It was great motivation. um So within two years, we had blasted away all of our debt. And I was in this mode where I was like, why don't more people know this? And it made sense to go teach it. um So i I had a little bit of professional experience speaking to high school and college students, and we were getting lots of money questions.
00:04:09
Speaker
And in 2003 and four, one of my partners and I said, hey, why don't we create a company that teaches this to the same demographic we were just in? So that's where it started. Okay, Adam, your career spans finance, leadership, motivational speaking. yeah Tell me, how how did you get to where you are today? When I was 28 years old, I was in a sales job. And, you know, I spent the years of my turbulent twenties trying to figure out who I was and what I wanted to do with my life.
00:04:39
Speaker
And this particular job had me driving all around Denver, Colorado. And in my car, I had motivational CDs that I would listen to. And one of the CDs was by a guy named Mark Victor Hansen. And he was one of the co-authors of Chicken Soup for the Soul. And in that in that CD, Mark said, public speaking is actually one of the most noble professions because you get to change people's lives, get to travel the world, and you get paid relatively decently to do it, right? Because not a lot of people want to do it.
00:05:08
Speaker
And I had known that I enjoyed it. I had a flair for it. I was comfortable on stage. And in that moment at 28, it was just like, I know exactly what I want to go do.
00:05:19
Speaker
And so for the next probably two or three years, I went on this study of how do I build a business doing that? And so from 28 until today, which I'm 40 several now, i've I've been doing nothing but, you know, running my own business as a speaker. So yeah.
00:05:39
Speaker
So how did your message become ah financial freedom, financial independence, ah financially focused? Yeah.
Self-Leadership and Personal Development
00:05:46
Speaker
I was really inspired by helping people get to a point where freedom and flexibility were at the cornerstone of who they were. um What I realized over time was that I was really studying human behavior.
00:06:01
Speaker
because personal finance is really just consumer behavior. Right. Um, and then I realized that ah I was studying behavior or behavior translates to leadership just as well. And so my, my core central message really is, are you leading yourself? Well, because if you're leading yourself, well, people will follow you generally speaking. Okay. I love that. Uh, tell me what tips and tricks do you have for one? How do I know if I'm leading myself? Well, well this is a,
00:06:31
Speaker
It's probably a very subjective question. I tend to be someone who is very goal oriented. I believe that there's more that you can squeeze out of every day and every experience and interaction. And so I've been on this like lifelong hunt of life hacks and ways of getting better sleep, better health, um how to create friendships and relationships in a more engaging way. um Money was just a natural byproduct of that. And I realized as I started studying human behavior, that the more I knew about myself and how I either came across to other people what my motivation was, my fears, my drives, I then started to realize, oh, I could actually probably guess what other people's are as well, just based on what they're saying.
00:07:19
Speaker
And it made the interactions that much easier. um I think the way for for anyone else to figure out are you leading yourself well is are right are you proud of the life you're living? When you look back, will you be happy with the decisions you've made in your life? And are other people looking up to you in a way where to be very candid, there are times where people will say, oh, we'd like to welcome Adam, who was a thought leader in blah, blah, blah.
00:07:47
Speaker
and i And I heard it enough times where I was like, am I a thought leader? I don't know if I'm a thought leader. And then I realized I'm sharing ideas that may be new to certain people. And in that case, maybe I am a thought leader and folks started coming up and wanting to engage. and And for me, it's like, okay, I must be leading myself. Well, if other people are looking at me saying, I want to do more of that. Oh, I like that. Okay. So if I am listening and I just went through those questions and maybe I had a feeling in my stomach of like, Ooh,
00:08:17
Speaker
I don't know, maybe maybe I've got some work to do. What life hacks, tools, tricks, tell me where should I start to change that so that I can answer those questions and say, yeah, I'm proud of the life I'm living. Yes, I'm leading myself well. We have this lens that we look at the life, at our life through. And mine is different than yours, right? And that is based on past experiences and our family upbringing and all of that.
00:08:45
Speaker
um I think one of the most profound hacks out there is reaching out to some of your close friends, family members, et cetera, and just saying, if you could describe me in three to five words, what words would you use? Because I think I know how I think i know how i would describe myself. But when I hear other people talk you know and and come up with three to five words, it's like, oh, I didn't realize that. you know um And as an example,
00:09:14
Speaker
I had asked this question of some of my family members and my dad said busy. How did that feel? it it It felt like he was kind of punching me when I was down, you know? I mean, I somewhat pride myself on having a full schedule. But when I said, what do you mean by busy? He goes, I just think you're committed to being busy.
00:09:36
Speaker
And for me, having raised three kids, and I had this this sort of gut check moment of, have I been too busy in my life driving, going for things, having goals that, you know, whether they they served me, but did they serve everyone else in my life? I don't know. Or didn't know at the time.
00:09:57
Speaker
And so I think a hack is survey the people around you and what are they saying honestly, candidly about how you are being and are you willing to take that feedback.
00:10:09
Speaker
Yeah. What advice do you have for someone who maybe has has done that um and has received one of those gut punches?
Handling Feedback and Goal Setting
00:10:17
Speaker
um Who's just, I think it can be feedback is a gift, but it can also be really painful to go through. So any advice for working through the pain of realizing like, ooh, that's not who, i what I am hearing from you is not who I am. Yeah. Yeah. um We have this saying when I'm doing leadership development with companies, with leaders.
00:10:39
Speaker
And I'll say you have to be willing to accept fearless feedback. And fearless feedback is, it could be harsh. It could be not what you want to hear, but are you willing to accept it? And so if someone has gotten that gut punch ah kind of feedback, one of the things to do is is to decide, is it true? Maybe true for someone else, is it true for me? you know They're looking at it through their lens, so it may look differently for them than to us. um Is it helpful?
00:11:09
Speaker
You know, is it helpful to know that that's how you are seen? And if you don't want to be seen that way, what can you do differently? So is it true? Is it helpful? And what am I willing to do in order to change it? And for me, hearing I'm busy, my my takeaway was I have to get better at saying no.
00:11:29
Speaker
And I have to be really intentional about what I'm saying yes to, because I'm saying no to something else. So just to put it out there, I would get requests of, can you do this 7 PM call? um Do a webinar. Do something with with ah a team. And for years, I would say, yeah, of course, not a problem. And then I realized, I'm missing 7 PM 21 games with my boys. I'm missing 7 PM nights on the couch with my wife watching a show, right?
00:11:59
Speaker
and And I started realizing, is it worth teeing those up? More than one a week, never gonna happen. Maybe one every other week, sure. But I had to get really particular about what am I willing to do? and And I think what I'm really suggesting in people's lives is that there are boundaries and there's expectations set about how much you're willing to do or not yeah in order to preserve and protect the life that you're trying to build.
00:12:25
Speaker
Yeah, I think what you just said, Adam, so many leaders know, but have a hard time implementing right of like, I'm well aware that I'm a busy person, but how do I know boundaries are healthy? I am saying no is hard. I think we've all heard no is a complete sentence. Any advice for okay, how do I do that in a way that how how do I learn to say no, because I think a lot of us still still still need to work in that area, right? we got to where If you're a high performing person, it's because you've said yes a lot. um So how do you learn to, okay, when is that a strength taken to an extreme? Yeah. I'll tell you my honest answer to that is when your vision is so crystal clear about what it is you're attempting to do,
00:13:10
Speaker
the nose become very easy. And we use this tool. This might be a good life hack for the show. But when I'm working with groups quite often, particularly with young professionals, I have them write a three year letter. And the three year letter is dated three years from the day they write it.
00:13:27
Speaker
They're writing it in present tense as if all of the things have happened in their life over the last three years. And they would start out by saying, dear first name. The first name could be themselves. It could be someone important to them, like a spouse or significant other. It could be a grandparent or someone, a mentor, some guy that holds them accountable. um I often write it to myself or to my kids. But I would say, dear Adam, I am so happy and grateful that over the last three years, the following things have occurred.
00:13:55
Speaker
And that three letter is really instrumental for people in deciding this is my true north do document. So when I'm asked to do something, it's easy to go back to that letter and go, does this fit what I'm trying to accomplish? Does it add to it or does it take away from it? And I think that idea of a full schedule or being busy is because we're not super clear on where we want to go. So all of it looks good. Yeah. Uh-huh.
00:14:20
Speaker
Oh yeah, it's all it's all good stuff. It's just choosing like what's the best yes. Yes, exactly. And to that to that end, um there are two books that I would point to. One, they're both by Napoleon Hill, for what it's worth. And they were both written in the 1930s. But they are today some of the most impactful books that have been written. And one is Think and Grow Rich.
00:14:44
Speaker
which is yeah on should be on everybody's reading lesson. Adam, I get finished that book last week. Did you really? I love that you just recommended it. Yes. Okay. So tell me my next Napoleon, he'll read. Okay. So what one thing about Think and Grow Rich is in the book, the number one lesson takeaway was great, successful, in his case, wealthy individuals that he wrote about in the 1930s, they had definiteness of purpose. They knew exactly what they were there to do every single day.
00:15:12
Speaker
Napoleon Hill, shortly after reading thick and rich or writing, thinking grow rich he wrote a book called Outwitting the Devil. And when he wrote it nineteen in the 1930s, it was 37 or 38, he let his wife read it. She was his you know biggest coach and advocate. And she said, Napoleon, I forbid you from ever publishing this book.
00:15:35
Speaker
And he was like, why this is this is i at my most powerful work today. And she said, you know, we'll be ostracized in the community. We'll be excommunicated from our church. People will shun us because of what you've written. And so it's sad. It's a really good sell for the book, but like now I want to really want to read it. Amazingly. The audio book is even better, because and I'll tell you why in a second.
00:16:00
Speaker
um The book itself sat in the Napoleon Hill Archives for decades, i mean literally from the 1930s until the early 2000s. They went through two executive directors with a third executive director. He was going through the archives, read that manuscript, and said, this is more powerful today than it was in the 1930s. And he was writing about Mussolini and all the things that were happening in the 1930s.
00:16:26
Speaker
The gist of the book, which by the way, was published in 2011 for the first time. Okay. You know, 80 years later from when it was written, it's published. And the the genesis, the basis of the book is that there are drifters and there are non-drifters.
00:16:43
Speaker
And drifters can be blown off course with any great idea. So I could go down, I could i could chat with students who don't really have an idea of where they want to go. And I should say, you should come with me on this thing. We'd have a ton of fun and it'd be great for you. They go, okay. Even though it might blow them completely off course of where they were supposed to be going. Non-drifters are different. They know exactly where they're headed.
00:17:07
Speaker
And in all honesty, at the Leaders Conference, I meet non-drifters all the time. And the non-drifters are like, I'm going to go do this. I'm going to be on the family farm. I'm going to buy this much land. um And they know exactly what they're going they're setting out to do. um Those people will not be blown off course. And they will find it far easier to say no to things that don't get them where they want to go.
00:17:31
Speaker
And so the book, in a nutshell, talks about how does that work for people? How do you decide where you're going and then keep it at the forefront of all your decisions? Oh, I love that. I am already excited to read it. Or it sounds like listen to it. OK, so why is the audio book better? the The book itself, it's called Outwitting the Devil. The reason that Napoleon Hill's wife forbade him from publishing it is the book literally is a conversation between Napoleon Hill and the devil.
00:17:58
Speaker
So he he states at the beginning of the book, I sat down to write this manuscript and there was this ongoing dialogue in my head going back and forth. And I realized it wasn't me speaking. It was another being and it was the devil. So you can imagine in the 1930s. Oh yeah. Very, very like, no, um uncouth, right? Yeah.
00:18:18
Speaker
I mean, people would be ripped out. And ah so the audio book is great because of the voice actor they got to voice the devil's part because it is eerie. So it's a really, really high quality, well done audio book, but I would definitely.
00:18:33
Speaker
ah Encourage you to listen. Okay. Well, you've convinced me for sure. um I am a big fan of what I call get better books Which are you know, there's leadership there's self-help. I tell them get better books um So I've got my goal this year is I'm reading 50 books um A third of them have to be get back have to be get better books. So that one's going on the list so thank you adam yeah Okay, so um let's switch gears a little bit you are an expert in and financial literacy, and so I think it'd be remiss if we didn't talk about money a little bit. And so here's my question for you, Adam. Is money real? Oh, this is the this is the big question, is that. um Is money real? There are tangible aspects of money that are very real.
00:19:18
Speaker
um However, if you look back in history, what's happened is we've been taking off the gold standard. ah It used to be for every dollar that was printed, there would be a dollar in gold in reserves that was held. ah Richard Nixon took us off the gold standard. And when that happened, money became, our money, US currency, became a fiat currency, which means we can print it, and it's under the full faith and trust in the US Treasury.
00:19:45
Speaker
But is it real? I hesitate to say it is. It is as real as the belief we have in it. And so at some point, it may lose that faith and credibility. And if that does happen, then it does become less real.
00:20:01
Speaker
I think the the reality or non-reality of money today is more in the fact that they're numbers. We're we're we're transferring numbers. I could cash app you or Venmo you right now. It's not really money. It's just zeros and ones that I'm floating through the ether to your phone, right? With an emoji attached, right? With an emoji, yeah. A pizza emoji or whatever it may be. Yeah, right. A sandwich, a drink, a beverage, right.
00:20:25
Speaker
and so i think the The messaging that I have around money today is if we don't understand the realness of debt as an example, it's easy to go into debt and not realize how much debt you've taken on because it's so intangible, it's so unreal. It's all zeros and ones. And because of the way we do it, particularly with student loans, ah over four years, five years, seven years, depending on what your education background is, you can take money without having to pay it back.
00:20:55
Speaker
It continually accumulates interest and upon interest upon interest and the principle to a point where you're like, I had no idea I borrowed that much money and I have no idea how much it it actually is to pay it back. That's an unreal kind of expectation. And so I have long tried to teach young people, especially. How do we make money super real?
00:21:19
Speaker
where they understand handling cash and what the emotional connection to money is before we dip into digital currency where you could have $100,000 in debt and not be aware of it. Yeah, you have no idea. yeah You don't feel it in the same way. Correct. And the way the the banking system is set up.
00:21:38
Speaker
You have a hundred grand in debt. They could say, well, the the minimum payment on is just X and you can swing that. So just make the minimum payment. And when we do dutifully, month after month after month, we make banks fortunes and, and most consumers get stuck in this. Um, what I call it is they payment themselves into a corner. Oh, I love that. Every time we take a payment, I can afford that payment. I can afford this payment. You get too many of those.
00:22:05
Speaker
you have effectively painted yourself into a corner because there's not enough left over to dig yourself out of the hole that you've created. I think this is so important as we think about leadership because if what we were just talking about like living life on purpose, being someone who has a is a non drifter, man, what we're talking about in terms of debt can absolutely take you off course from where you want to go.
00:22:28
Speaker
And especially as we think about agriculture, obviously there's student loans for for folks who are working on the corporate side of it, but agriculture is so income finance intensive, especially if you want to enter it. So I am curious for someone who wants to be involved in agriculture or maybe their family is involved in agriculture, you I would say some of us get accustomed to, but gosh, million dollar loan operating loans is not unusual, right?
Family Financial Discussions and Consumer Behavior
00:22:56
Speaker
So how do we create some some of that feeling, that reality um around money, especially when you're working with such large numbers that don't feel real? I love this question for a couple of reasons. I'm doing a lot of work with young, beginning and small farmers, specifically through a client of mine that does lending to farmers. And I said, why me? Why do you want me to come in and talk to them?
00:23:19
Speaker
And they said, point blank, ah whether a farmer is a quality farmer or not, whether they're skilled at their craft, usually won't take them down. Because you could have somebody who's not great at farming and still make money on a good year, right? They said what takes them down are family financial decisions. They overspend on the trucks. They overspend on Christmas gifts, or they're they're spending money errantly. They're equating what they have in their operating account as personal income.
00:23:49
Speaker
And so they wanted me to come in and teach psychology of money. And I think in answer to your question, one of the things that has to happen is we've got to start talking about money in a very camp way at the table with with kids. um We have to have owners of farms, whether that's the grandparent generation, the parent generation, or who's going to take over. We've got to be open about, hey, last year the farm took in this much.
00:24:15
Speaker
This was our debt service number. This is how much we have left over. We probably spent too much on X, Y, and Z this year. I mean, literally like spelling out what does this look like? And we're probably, we we are definitely in the money minority. I wouldn't say probably. We are definitely in the minority as a family.
00:24:34
Speaker
in that my kids have access to my life and I's accounts in that they could log on and they could see oh this's how much mom and dad have in checking and savings and against the home equity line of credit and so on. Wow. Okay.
00:24:48
Speaker
Explain that because yes, that is unconventional. It was not super intentional. um We had set them up on our on our banking program. ah you know We operate through a credit union and it just so happened that we had one login, but everyone's accounts were visible.
00:25:05
Speaker
And at first I was like, is this is weird that they can see it. And then I realized, no, they have a really healthy understanding of what's going in and what's going out. And again, it puts us in the minority because I know a lot of parents who are like, I would never share this with my kid.
00:25:19
Speaker
ah Especially because kids talk and tell people things. And I think that is probably the, if I am thinking with, you know, a mindset of like, are they going to go tell their teacher at school or their friends or whatever? What's in the family bank account? Right, right. Um, we've had discussions about that before. And I would say your, your personal finances are personal. That's something you keep to yourself. We keep to ourselves. Um, it's not something to go spill the beans, so to speak at school. Um, but what I wanted to give them was a sense of.
00:25:50
Speaker
Here's how a home operates. Here's what the expenses are. And you know per my TED Talk, i had given we had given our kids allowance through the years and then made their expenses their expenses. um The whole idea being I wanted money to be tangible and real for them before they got to school and had a $5,000 credit card that they could go crazy with.
00:26:12
Speaker
um And I will say, you know, my kids are 16, 19, and 21. They are probably some of the most money savvy young people you'll ever meet. They're theyre relatively conservative. They appreciate minimalism. They're investors. They're savers. They're generous. um You know, they're all the things you would want ah someone to be as it relates to finance.
00:26:36
Speaker
Well, and I bet they're fairly grounded because they understand what things cost. Yes, yes, 100%. Which I think going back to our conversation around um being a part of a family business in agriculture, there's some folks who work on the family farm who don't don't under like, you may work there for years, but not understand the cost of everything. yeah yeah So question for you, you're an unconventional family, but it it seems to be working in creating what earth sounds like you're going to be great humans. So any advice or tips because money is a taboo topic for a lot of people and a lot of families. How do you dip your toe into beginning to have have those conversations? yeah At the leaders conference, I shared that.
00:27:17
Speaker
um Well, first of all, I said, how many of you ah were, your parents were in their twenties when they had you? You were zero to nine when your parents were largely in their twenties and people raised their hand. How many of you were in their, your parents were in their thirties when they had you? Forties, fifties. And I said, when people are in their twenties, do they have any money? The answer is generally no no. Not a lot anymore. And so what they hear growing up is different.
00:27:44
Speaker
than someone who had their children in their 40s or 50s, because by that point in time, they probably had a little bit. um So one of the things that we state there is that the roots produce the fruits. And the roots, when we're growing up, and when we're zero to nine, I say zero to nine, because our money personality is set by the age of nine, generally speaking. OK, wow. and ah yeah Explain that. When we have little ears, we're big listeners when we're kids. And we put meaning on things.
00:28:14
Speaker
And so let's say that your parents were in their 20s when they had you and and they told you all the time, Nicole, we can't afford it, can't afford that, we're broke, sorry, and we can't afford it. Zero to nine year old Nicole would say, oh, there are things that I can't afford in life. And so lots of things would be seen as out of reach for you because there are just things that you as a family can't afford.
00:28:38
Speaker
And you know someone who's in their 40s might have said, yeah, if you want it, get it. Sure. Let's go. Let's get it. Because there's extra money. And that person might be raised in a mindset of, like if I want something, I always buy it. Because that's how I was raised growing up. I always got what I wanted. right Similarly, a young person that hears, you don't need that growing up. We go to Target. I want this. I want this. You don't need that.
00:29:05
Speaker
They'll typically take one of two paths. They'll either go down this path of denying themselves things that they really want because they're just things they don't need. They've been told that for years. Or they'll go down a path where, you know, when I get money, I'm going to buy whatever the heck I want. And they're the ones typically that have massive credit card debt and they're in over their head on student loans and things like that. So um how do you have it? Back to your original question.
00:29:34
Speaker
go back to go talk to your parents and say, what were your early money memories like? What did you hear growing up? What what were your parents saying about money? how that How did that influence who you are today and maybe how you raised us?
00:29:49
Speaker
And then the message that I gave them was, their story, your parents' story, was their truth. It wasn't the truth, and it doesn't have to be your truth, but it was their truth at the time. We just put meaning on it when we were zero to nine. And so when we start to question like, what was going on when they were at that age? And and was that is that legitimate for me to live my life by? and Is it helpful?
00:30:15
Speaker
Is it legitimate? And if I want to change it, can I change it? Because I'm living in a different time and era. I love that. I also love that it, uh, the way you are framing it is more of how do I get to know my parents better, almost from a human standpoint and their story rather than like, let's sit down and the first conversation around money I'm having is let's, let's pull out the balance sheet or the bank account.
00:30:38
Speaker
Um, because I think with money being such a hard topic to talk about, feeling very taboo, especially in conservative families, you start from almost building a money relationship. It is what it sounds like you're telling, you're giving advice around is then let me build a money relationship by understanding you and your beliefs first. Then we can have these harder conversations that lead to.
00:31:00
Speaker
Okay, like let's talk about how much we're spending on the farm and where it's making money, maybe where it's not or those kinds of things. so you and You hit the nail on the head. It is a money relationship. We all have one. And the way that we somewhat creatively ask what your relationship to money is, is if you imagine you're sitting in your living room and there's a knock at the door and you go to the front door and you open it and money is standing there personified. Money in human form is standing outside your door.
00:31:29
Speaker
What does it look like and what is your relationship to it? That is fascinating to think about. I am envisioning, have you seen Schoolhouse Rock? Yes. Okay. I just had like a dollar bill that looks like the, you know, when a bill becomes a law. are you guys yes yeah it's Very interesting, but yeah. Okay, cool. And here's what's cool about that is because yours is sort of cartoonish and not a person. You probably have a healthy relationship to money in that it's a thing. It's a method of transaction.
00:31:56
Speaker
But if someone says, oh, it's an elderly woman who's really put together. um She's clutching her handbag, which may might be kind of expensive. She's well dressed, et cetera. I would make a few assumptions. Number one, that this person believes that you don't have money until you're old. They probably have someone in their life, like a grandmotherly figure, who represents money for them. And they're probably very put together. And there are rules that you follow around money, because grandma would do that, right?
00:32:26
Speaker
Contrast that with someone who says, and I had this one time, oh, money is this really attractive woman across the bar that I'm afraid to go talk to. And I was like, oh, bro we need to unpack that. There's some psychology in this. But what it was was afraid to look at his balances. He was afraid to talk about money. It caused fights and arguments at home. So he was like, oh, I don't want to talk to it. I like it. I want to be close to it. But I'm afraid of having the conversation here It is interesting, like how what we are talking about here is is money, but how much it is really just about humans and our relationships with each other and ourselves, which I think is what ties it right back to leadership totally and leadership of ourselves, which is your main message. Absolutely. Absolutely. And I would probably be remiss if I didn't mention that.
00:33:18
Speaker
You know, I have met people who um I would love to follow. I think they're great leaders, et cetera. and But then i i but there's a peak behind the curtain. It's like, wow, there they're over leveraged on a number of things, struggling to get by. It's kind of a facade, right? The the wealth that is shown. And for me, there was a feeling of like, oh man, how hard must it be?
Mindset Shifts and Financial Habits
00:33:45
Speaker
to live a life where that is the facade you're trying to to put forward is one that you're struggling with every single day. um I'm a big believer that you can't pour from an empty bucket.
00:33:57
Speaker
And so we've got to, we've got to blind and manage that and lead ourselves well so that we can pour from a bucket that's full, be generous, be kind, be considerate, make great decisions that aren't just money motivated. I think to do that, you've got to practice some of the things that kind of talk about in my program.
00:34:17
Speaker
Yeah, absolutely. Okay, I think we've talked about some proactive things that people can do, some some things that self-reflective things that people need to do. What if I am someone who is, I'm already in the hole, I'm in debt, maybe I'm a little scared about it. um What advice do you have for for someone in that scenario? who's like i i I'm scared to look at the balance sheet because I know it's bad and and it seems overwhelming to even think about dealing with.
00:34:42
Speaker
I'm going to give a couple of of tax on this. Number one is the reason that I think some people get there is they never had the tangible holding a $50 or $100 bill and breaking it because there's an interesting thing happens think that happens to you mentally. If I'm handing over a $50 bill to you um and you take it from in exchange for the Celsius candy I'm sitting next to you,
00:35:08
Speaker
There was a feeling of going it that triggers in my brain because I'm losing $50. But if you said animals sell you the Celsius can it's only $47 just tap here and you can have it. I'll do that. I'm in, I'm in positive anticipation of taking my first drink of your, your drink. Right.
00:35:25
Speaker
Same thing is true on one click ship on Amazon. We hit that button and we're like, oh boy, when are the drones going to arrive? you know what am i like yeah um So someone who is might be overspending, they're overspending probably because they don't understand how much did I actually spend today?
00:35:44
Speaker
and And I never felt in pain, so I didn't know how much I spent. So the first strategy or tactic is go all cash for a period of time. And you'll realize where the cash is going, I can't buy anymore. That's the rule of thumb. So that's number one.
00:36:00
Speaker
um Number two, I would ask, what is the buying getting you? Because some people will buy just out of habit. Some people will buy to make themselves feel better. And that's a vicious circle because you know i I go spend money to feel better. I get my credit card bill. It makes me feel worse. So I go spend money to feel better. And then I get my credit card bill and I feel worse. So what can we go do?
00:36:25
Speaker
That is, that that doesn't cost us money, that makes us feel good, that we can do any time and begin to feel better about the fact that we still have money that we can we can set aside. The third thing I want to mention is that when someone has a hole that's already been dug and we're looking at, should I buy this or should I not? Well, if I'm $50,000 in debt, what's an extra $500?
00:36:53
Speaker
The flip side is if somebody has $10,000 in savings or five grand in savings. There's like, ah hell do I want to spend $500? Now I'm only going to have $4,500. And I've worked really hard to get to $5,000. So again, there's a different part of your brain that fires when you've accomplished a goal versus when you're in the hole looking at that goal going, it's no use. I'm not going to get there anyway. So we have to relook at why are we doing it in the first place? And can we begin to shift our behavior? um And I have one last comment on behavior. May I?
00:37:29
Speaker
I said at the Leaders Conference, it's easier to make it than it is to keep it. Making it can be relatively easy. You just have to go take action to go make money. um Keeping it is the challenge because that requires behavior change. So people who say, I'm in debt. I just need to make more money. And then I'd be fine. I'm like, it's not the case. You have a behavior that no matter how much you make, you'll probably spend it. So we have to look at our behavior and change our behavior because it's easier to make it than to keep it. And it's easier to keep it than it is to grow it.
00:38:01
Speaker
So, it is about action, it's about behavior, and it's about education, and education will help you grow it over time. Yeah, one of the things you just said that I think gave me hope for anyone who is like, well, that's really overwhelming is the part of your brain that is firing went from a goal standpoint, what you just said. I think a lot of times like debt, especially student debt, um or even credit card debt, right, or even farm debt can feel really overwhelming. But um what you have, what I have heard from you is, okay, if I've set a goal,
00:38:35
Speaker
and I'm working towards that, that's working with the positive part of my brain versus feeling the pain, um which makes at least me feel like it is more possible. 100% and to that end, the vision that I talked about setting that future thing that we're gonna do three years out or five years ago, this goes back to definiteness of purpose and being a non-drifter, is that when you set a goal for yourself and you are committed to hitting that goal, you are making decisions based on the future you,
00:39:04
Speaker
instead of making decisions based on your memories of what happened in the past. And what most people do is they will make decisions based on their memories, not on their vision. um And so if we don't have a vision, I'll make decisions like, well, this felt comfortable before so I'll go do that. And a good example is if you want to get fit. I'm following this guy who's hes ah kind of a mindset coach and he he's, ah he's a very successful entrepreneur.
00:39:30
Speaker
But you'll talk about, have a picture of what you want to look like, even if you have to Photoshop abs on yourself, what you want to look like. Look at that all the time because you're making decisions based on future you, not on ah those chips in the pantry are going to taste really good. Or, you know, I've always had a scoop of ice cream after dinner. I might as well have another one, right? That's based on memory, not based on where I'm headed and where I want to go.
00:39:55
Speaker
Yeah. This ties back to your book recommendation of the um Napoleon Hill one but that I just read. To me, the biggest takeaway was your mindset is your reality and exactly what you're talking about. If your mind is set on, okay, this vision of future you, that is what has led to the success of so many of these great people. And that can help you get there versus, okay, I think this memory or this pain or these things that I've always done making my decisions based on that.
00:40:22
Speaker
Yeah, yeah, exactly. It's um it's it's a phenomenon in this prospection, and humans are the only species that have the ability to prospect, which means, to and it sounds like prospect, but prospection is to look forward and say, this is who I'm going to be, and now I'm going to make decisions backwards from that in order to get there.
Thoughts, Energy, and Leadership Advice
00:40:42
Speaker
um There's another great book called Be Your Future Self Now ah by Dr. Benjamin Hardy. That's another you know ah testament, I guess, or a prop-up book for what we're talking about here.
00:40:53
Speaker
Love that. I will always take a book recommendation. I'm ah i'm a big reader, so I love that. then Yeah, I will take it. Yeah. So you mentioned that our mindset creates who we are and where we're going. um There's a book that I read a couple times a year, typically on vacation, but the book is called A Happy Pocket Full of Money. Oh. And it's by a guy named David Cameron Jekhandi. He's a Kenyan man.
00:41:15
Speaker
And it is less about money and more about quantum physics and this idea that our thoughts create energy. The energy is goes out into the ether in both waves and particles, but it's looking for like energy. yeah And when it finds that energy, it comes back to us. So if were if we wake up and something bad happens and we're like, today's going to be a terrible day, well, guess what? That thought sends waves and particles out into the ether and what comes back. Exactly. what they got ye So all day long, we have this lens open for all the negative stuff that's happening. And what we would prefer to do is say, today's going to be awesome. Uh, the world is conspiring on my behalf. I don't know what kind of awesome things are going to happen today, but everything around me is probably on, uh, you know, it's, it's for my own good. Even if it's a flat tire, because I probably missed an accident. Yeah.
00:42:09
Speaker
you know Oh, I'm overdrawn on my checking count. Well, it's probably supposed to tell me I should stop spending. right These are the kinds of things where you're like, these are positives, not negatives. yeah And more positive will start to pile on. But that book is a game changer. I love it. Oh, the name of it, too. It sounds like a fun read. Yeah. OK, I could talk to you all day, Adam. This has been so fun. But we are going to move into a segment that we called we call Speed Mentoring. I love it. So I'm going to give you a couple of scenarios. And I just want your quick reaction couple sentences of what would you tell this person if you were their mentor um and I know you get to work with we've talked about young people you also get to work with great leaders and and teams so I've got a couple different
00:42:48
Speaker
different levels of leadership in here for you to give advice to. So this person is an experienced leader. They've got a history of success, um but they feel like they've lost the enthusiasm that once drove them. um Their days are routine. They're searching for a new way to reignite their passion and approach life and leadership in a bigger, more inspired way. What would you tell them to do?
00:43:10
Speaker
Uh, what I would tell them to do to exercise is number one is I would get them really clear on what their core values are. And i I wrote about this in one of my books called the build a bigger life manifesto. But basically that during COVID all of us were on lockdown and most of us were either meet, we were, we were missing connection and we were missing contribution. And I realized that the midst of that, that I was just feeling like the whole time. Yeah. It was after about two or three months, great being at home. But then I was like, I'm missing something big time. And I went through the values, uh, exercise and my five core values were family, freedom, love, growth, connection. And I, it occurred to me that I was missing connection because I wasn't going to have coffee with people. I wasn't, I was getting plenty of family. In fact, I was getting too much family. you know Maybe we all were at that point. Yeah. So.
00:44:07
Speaker
Rapid fire, I would say, go go get centered with your core values, number one, because you're missing from somewhere or more, one or more. um The second thing I would have them do is get reconnected with what is your purpose here? And if your purpose is not being fulfilled at work, could it be fulfilled in a volunteer type ah situation? Could it be fulfilled coaching, ah sporting event? Could it be fulfilled in just learning how to play the piano or guitar because you're missing creativity?
00:44:36
Speaker
I have folks who say, I'm just not getting enough adventure. Well, what are you going to do to create a adventure? Um, so I would get really centered on what is that one thing purpose-wise that is part of you that you could go do right away. awesome I love that. Okay. Different scenario. A junior team member has recently been promoted into a leadership a leadership position, ah but they feel uncertain about whether they truly belong in this role.
00:45:02
Speaker
They doubt their ability to inspire others and often compare themselves to more experienced leaders. What would you tell them? Well, I will say that imposter syndrome is real. Everyone has it. I have it. You, I'm sure, have it from time to time. We get in these situations where we're like, who am I to even say, I don't know this? yeah And there's um there's a great piece of advice that a friend of mine gave me years ago. He said, I don't know how to do this. But if I did, I would probably do it this way.
00:45:31
Speaker
and And it was just like, I don't know what I'm doing, but if I did, I'd probably fill in the blank. Yes. And what it does is it tricks your brain into thinking, yes, I acknowledge the fact I don't know, but if I did, I would do this. So that's number one. Number two is this. I think young people today are less.
00:45:50
Speaker
And maybe young people isn't right. I think folks in general today are less willing to go to someone in a leadership role, maybe their direct supervisor or someone higher, and say, can I get coaching? I just like a little bit of coaching on a situation I'm engaged in, because I want to make the right decision, um but I really need to talk it through with someone. Would you be that sounding board for me?
00:46:11
Speaker
So I would say, if you're unsure, find someone who probably is sure, and go sit with them and say, I have a big decision. I want to make the right decision. Can I get coaching from you on what I'm doing with this? Oh, and that person's definitely going to say yes. Yes, 100%. OK. Last scenario ah for rapid fire. I'm a parent who has kids that are about to enter college. What advisor tools should I be teaching them about money, especially thinking about student debt?
Educating Children on Financial Realities
00:46:36
Speaker
I credit my father for this.
00:46:38
Speaker
um he built a spreadsheet that he sent to my kids. And and I'll tell you that my you know my kids I mentioned, they're they're very savvy money managers. That started when when they were in junior high and we would sit at the dinner table and and I would go, guys, how much does it cost to go to school at Notre Dame? How much do you think it costs to go to school at Iowa State? How much do you think it costs to go to school at UT Austin or USC or Pepperdine or University of San Francisco?
00:47:06
Speaker
And I would like pepper them with all these questions from all over. And we had an Alexa device in the house. And so we'd be like, Alexa, what does it cost to go to USC? ah and And it was a game. We we game a fighter a little bit. Who's going to be closest and all that? But what I was doing was giving them a real sense of how much life costs. And so my dad took that to the next level, created a spreadsheet, and said, I want you guys to know, how much will it cost for you to do the next four years of school?
00:47:36
Speaker
What will you have in student loan debt if you have any? um And they had to figure in how much did they have in 529 plans? What did they get in scholarship? What was the monthly or quarterly semester by semester costs? And then the end of it was, um how much do you think you'll make with the major that you've taken on? What will your rent be when you get out? Pick out a car that you'd like to buy. What do you think food costs are going to be? And an interesting thing happened.
00:48:05
Speaker
My kids were pretty much spot on from their numbers. My nephew, who also filled it out, had no clue what the numbers were going to be because he'd never been he'd never had that dialogue before. And so if you're a parent, I think the thing to do is have real conversations with your kids about, this is what life costs. And what my dad did for us was he put the money in our account and said, and for what it's worth, they were going to pay 100% the first year.
00:48:35
Speaker
75% the second year, 50% the third, 25% the fourth, and beyond four years it was on us. So it behooved us to be done in four years or less. Oh, yeah. Way to motivate you. Yeah. So he would create this compressed time ah boundary to get done. um But what he was really after was us writing the check, because we wrote checks back then, us writing the check to pay for tuition, but getting a sense of like this was an expensive ah semester. yeah And I just wrote this big check, I better go to class. Because I don't know what the exact number is, but if you skip class, it's like handing your professor $184 every single time you skip. That's a big deal. But yeah, that makes you feel it.
00:49:19
Speaker
I love that advice. Thank you. Okay, so um one last segment. At AFA, we love hot takes. Yes. So controversial opinions, bold opinions, unconventional views. Tell me what is one of your um hot takes, I would say either on leadership or money.
Uncommunicated Expectations and Closing Remarks
00:49:37
Speaker
My hot take on leadership is, this goes back to what saying my grandfather had, that uncommunicated expectations are merely preplanned resentments. So if I don't tell you what I expected you as an employee and you don't do what I expect you to do, that's on me. That's not on you. yeah And I've worked with team members before where something's going wrong. And I have to ask myself the question, was that on me? Did I tell them that's what I wanted done? Usually I didn't.
00:50:07
Speaker
And so hot take the leaders almost always to blame if someone's not doing what's expected because they were never told in the first place. That's a good hot take. Yeah. Thank you. that Personal accountability for all leaders. they Yeah.
00:50:22
Speaker
All right. ah I could talk to you all day, Adam, but we probably got to wrap up. um At AFA, we are all about building bridges and hopefully everyone who has listened has now ah met you as a new connection in their world. um Where can people connect with you? Where do you want to send them to to continue the conversation or learning from you? Yeah. Well, I so appreciate what Ampere does and the opportunity to be on the show and to share this with your listeners. People can find me at adamcarol.info. So if you want information on Adam Carroll, super simple, Adam Carroll to rstlstein.info. And then the shred method, if someone's interested in learning about how would I blast away that use the system, you can simply go to theshredmethod.com.
00:51:04
Speaker
Awesome. Well, thank you so much, Adam. This has been a wonderful conversation. I really enjoyed it and so glad to have you here on the show. Likewise. Thank you.