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Building a Resilient Mindset with John Sachse
23 Plays3 days ago
In a culture that says, “tough it out”, perhaps the most strength comes from vulnerability and courage. In this episode of the Cultivating Leaders Podcast, John Sachse – cattleman, Army National Guard officer, and AFA alum – explores what it really takes to build a resilient mindset. John shares how military training and returning to the family ranch shaped his approach to leadership, service, and mental toughness.
John breaks down:
- What it Means to be Resilient: it is about developing a mindset that allows you to bounce back from adversity
- Strengthening Mental Resilience: there is power of setting meaningful goals and connecting them to your “why”
- Leaning into Vulnerability: challenging the traditional agricultural norm that discourage emotional openness
John gets real about the hard stuff and how to push through it. This episode will challenge you to show up differently, embrace discomfort, and lean into growth.
Connect with John
- Connect on LinkedIn
- Follow him on Instagram
- Visit his website - Here
Connect with AFA
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- Visit our Website
About The Cultivating Leaders Podcast
Real stories. Practical advice. Tangible growth. Join The Cultivating Leaders Podcast, brought to you by Agriculture Future of America, as we explore what it takes to lead in food, agriculture, and beyond. Whether you’re just starting out or leading at the highest level, this podcast is your go-to resource for leadership that matters. Listen now and start cultivating your leadership journey.
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Transcript
Mindset as a Muscle
00:00:02
Speaker
Our mindset is just a muscle that we need to constantly be working on. Just like if you want to train for a marathon, you need to run or you want to be bigger and stronger, need to lift.
Introduction to Cultivating Leaders
00:00:17
Speaker
Welcome to the Cultivating Leaders podcast, where we get inside the minds of leaders to harvest great ideas and lessons that help you grow as a difference maker in food and agriculture. I'm your host and Curiosity Captain, Nicole Ersig.
Guest Introduction: John Soxie
00:00:30
Speaker
Today, i am joined by John Soxie, who shares a deep passion for building a resilient mindset and providing leaders with the tools to step into their potential. John is a cattleman, Army National Guard officer, and a proud AFA alum.
00:00:43
Speaker
John, welcome to the pod. Nicole, really honored and blessed to have this connection, have this opportunity with you guys today. i want to first off start with congratulating AFA with all the hard work, the effort that you guys have put in the last 15, 20 plus
John's Leadership Journey
00:00:58
Speaker
years.
00:00:58
Speaker
I truly started my my professional development probably about kind of halfway through college when i became familiar with AFA, what it stood for, what it did and continues to do for young leaders within the agriculture industry, agriculture community in college.
00:01:15
Speaker
Those track three and fours were were game changers, kind of reset the trajectory of my life in college and so blessed and honored to kind of be at the the phase of my life to start giving back to AFA. So want to congratulate you guys for all your hard work and you guys are doing some great things.
00:01:33
Speaker
Well, thank you, John. We appreciate that. And thanks for being a part of it. Before we dive into all the things we're going to talk about today, i want to get a little bit of a better feel for your background. So tell me about your leadership and career journey and how you got to where you are today and and what it is that you do on a day-to-day basis.
00:01:49
Speaker
I wish I could answer what what it is on a day-to-day basis succinctly, but Nicole, every day is is truly a a little bit different. You mentioned just a little bit about my my background. I serve as an officer in the National Guard.
00:02:03
Speaker
Moving into company command here soon. I currently have the privilege to teach resiliency to soldiers at my unit. And that's been such a ah blessing for for me to get to know my soldiers at a ah deep level.
00:02:15
Speaker
Growing up in ag, you're just immersed in all the stress that being an entrepreneur comes with that. But agriculture, there's just so much out of our control. There's so much out of our control in the military as well. And so I've had some really unique experiences moving back to our ranch.
00:02:31
Speaker
I think it was early 2018, end of
Resilience in Farming and Military
00:02:34
Speaker
2017. Nicole, we had a really ah really rough time moving back to my my family's cattle operation and and we have crops as well here, but my wife is not initially from agriculture. So we we moved back December of 2017, January 2018. We started calving middle of January and had a blizzard hit us, started losing calves right and left. My wife and I were actually expecting our our first son at the time. And then coupled with that, my wife grew up Wichita, Kansas. And so being on a farm and ranch every single day and not always having an outlet to you know take away the stresses that we all deal with, it was it was a very low, dark point in our our marriage. And it was kind of around that time that I began to really delve more into the personal development space, personal growth,
00:03:27
Speaker
And i I had heard the the term resiliency before. I didn't really know what it it meant until I joined the Army National Guard in 2019. And basic training is like no other experience you'll ever have. It's hard to explain what that's like to somebody that hasn't experienced it.
00:03:45
Speaker
I hit my my lowest of lows at basic training, and I saw others experiencing their their lowest of lows. the The point of basic training is to break you down ah deep at deep levels and then to to build you back up in a certain way.
00:04:03
Speaker
i i saw things that I still remember to this day, and it was during that time of basic training that I realized, hey, we're all, each one of us here,
00:04:15
Speaker
In my company, we're all experiencing the same stressors each and every day. We're all getting yelled at. We're all physically and mentally exhausted. We're all having the same stuff happen to us each and every day.
Shared Challenges and Growth
00:04:25
Speaker
But I began to realize, hey, those of us who can wake up with a ah new, fresh perspective the next morning, those of us who could do that were those who could bounce back, had adversity, and could respond to the stressors that were put on us. And that that came back with me when i I graduated from basic and came back to our ranch.
00:04:46
Speaker
I could apply those same principles because whether you're working in an office setting, like those of you who work for AFA or whatever companies that that you might work for, or you're in production agriculture, we're all facing similar struggles and challenges. But those of us who can bounce back from that day after day, those are the the resilient individuals. And so Really, it's been a a unique tie with the military and my agriculture background that has really taught me the importance of resiliency.
00:05:21
Speaker
Yeah, absolutely. What inspired you to join the Army and National Guard? Yeah, I get that question a lot. And and honestly, Nicole, for for me, I was very comfortable. i was very good at at the work I had done. I contribute some of this to the connections that I made at AFA and the leadership development. but i had the opportunity right after ah graduated from um college at Kansas State to work for one of Kansas' U.S. senators and then used to serve on the Kansas Beef Council staff and did a lot of beef checkoff work.
00:05:55
Speaker
Both of those jobs I was really, really good at. I was confident in it. I gained a lot of confidence through doing those roles. And I was just feeling kind of complacent in life and I'm somebody that looks for the next mountain to climb the next challenge. I, I can't stand complacency.
00:06:15
Speaker
there, there is a time and a place for that, but I just felt like I was not challenging myself in the way that others needed me to be, if that makes sense. And so I knew the military would, would put me out of my comfort zone.
00:06:29
Speaker
it still does to this day. I'm faced with a lot of things that i don't initially know how to handle, but, um, Needed that next mountain to to climb, if you will. and Didn't do it for the the money or the pay or anything like that, but just wanted to challenge myself and grow.
00:06:47
Speaker
i think anytime we step out of our comfort zone, there is so much growth and and potential that can come from that. Oh, yeah, absolutely. Sounds like you're someone that really enjoys a challenge, wants to continue to grow and get better. And through that, you have found that mindsset is a is key to being successful and overcoming those challenges.
00:07:06
Speaker
How do you define a resilient mindset? There's different definitions of of resiliency, I think. But the one that I use often is I like to share an analogy when I talk about resiliency with my soldiers in particular, if I'm taking on a new coaching client in my business.
00:07:23
Speaker
To me, I think of resiliency as say you're up on top of your house or or some kind of building and you have an egg and a tennis ball. And that the egg and the tennis ball both represent individuals, you know you and i the egg looks perfect on the outside looking in.
00:07:43
Speaker
It might be you or I, but it's an individual that's not working on themselves. They're not growth oriented. And when they hit something, they, they crack, they, they fracture, they, they break, they don't know how to hold up when adversity hits. And so you know if you took that egg, you dropped it on the ground, that ground represents a a hard surface, an obstacle or roadblock that we might be facing in our lives, and it and it breaks.
00:08:07
Speaker
But then you've got the tennis ball. The tennis ball is is us who are working on our mindset, who are growth-oriented, who know how to challenge the narrative, who deal with adversity well.
00:08:20
Speaker
And what happens when you drop that tennis ball? It has the same obstacle or or roadblock or hurdle that the egg has. you know the hard ground the challenge in our our lives between those two different people could be the same but when it hits the ground it's going to bounce back and i would take it one step further nicole that if you took a video of the tennis ball and you were to zoom in on that that tennis ball hitting the ground not only does it bounce back but it actually reforms remorse it kind of changes its shape to better accept that ground and hard surface and so
00:08:54
Speaker
To me, a resilient individual not only bounces back from adversity, but they actually look forward to those obstacles, those hurdles, those roadblocks, because on the other side of that is a better version of themselves.
00:09:07
Speaker
Oh, I like that. Resiliency and grit, I think, feel like very similar terms. And in agriculture, I feel like a lot of times we are like grit is a a value, like you got to push through, you got to muscle through things.
00:09:20
Speaker
And what you're talking about is being a little bit more fluid and and changing yourself. And we're talking about mindset and and in some circles in agriculture, right? Like that may even sound a little like woo-woo or too soft.
00:09:32
Speaker
How do you balance some of this traditional mindset of, you know, grit, hard work, muscle through it with what you're preaching and sharing and teaching people?
Mental Health as Brain Health
00:09:41
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. I like that question.
00:09:44
Speaker
Mental health gets such a a negative connotation, just has such a and negative stigma in general, but especially amongst guys and then probably the older generation, my my dad, my my uncle, that that generation.
00:10:02
Speaker
they They just don't like talking about their emotions, their thoughts, their feelings. But to me, and I don't use the the mental health term as much so as I almost consider it brain health because our brain is just as much of a ah the muscle as our biceps or ah you know our calves, ah other parts of our body that we think of as muscles. are Our mind and our brain is just much of a muscle.
00:10:28
Speaker
And so I... When I think of mental health, i actually think of brain health and for us to get to the next level in whatever you know business we're doing or maybe we want to be stronger husbands or wives for our spouses or stronger leaders of our family.
00:10:46
Speaker
Our mindset is just a muscle that we need to constantly be working on Just like if we want to train for a marathon, you need to run or you want to be bigger and stronger, you need to lift. Our mind is just as much of a muscle. and with guys, especially when I talk with them, whether it's my soldiers, I try to tackle the mental health kind of through the lens of resiliency and and then leadership training. Cause we're at a subconscious level where we're discussing and hitting on mental health, but we're, we're talking about through the lens of, of resiliency and and leadership and stuff. So.
00:11:23
Speaker
I love that. I love the way you describe it also as a brain health and your brain as a muscle. So I'm a distance runner. I'm training for a marathon right now. The one thing to push through, like I started to get up into some high mileage runs that I've never done before. And one of the things I tell myself is the brain is the strongest muscle in the body and I'm in control of it.
00:11:43
Speaker
And so when you think about it from like a workout standpoint, it's it It feels normal, I think, both from a, whether you're thinking soldier or strength or or anything along those lines, both from a, you have to build the muscle and you have to do the reps, but also something else I've learned as a distance runner is that you can overdo it and you can get injured and same thing can happen with with your brain. Yeah, absolutely. And I was going I guess before your last statement, I was going to comment, our our minds will stop way before our our bodies will. And so if you can
00:12:16
Speaker
if you can get over that hurdle mentally, we physically are so much more capable of so much more physically than, than we give ourselves credit for, but you have to be smart with it. Like you said, can be injury prone. And so,
00:12:32
Speaker
You've got to work on the the little things to prevent injury. But I hear you on the injury. i Sometimes it's hard to differentiate between, hey, I'm feeling some some pain. I need to push through that to become the better version myself. But also, i' when I was training for my first marathon,
00:12:51
Speaker
I was having some some pain that wasn't really going away, and I chose to push beyond that, and I actually should have paused, been stretching more for the amount that I was running. And so sometimes it's hard to differentiate between the two, but...
00:13:05
Speaker
Yes. Yes. um Talk about resiliency. There's so much that's connected to the physical piece of it. Obviously, the two of us like to run for that piece. But if you're someone who likes a challenge, it's definitely something to relate to.
00:13:18
Speaker
So, John, what are three tips? OK, I want to become a more resilient person. I want to have a more resilient mindset. What are what are three things that I can do today or tomorrow to build
Tips for Resilience
00:13:28
Speaker
that muscle?
00:13:28
Speaker
I'm a firm believer that we have everything already inside of us to get to that next level of, know, in business or we want to be the best version of ourselves. We already have everything inside of us. We just sometimes struggle to to figure out how to unlock that.
00:13:45
Speaker
But the good thing is that we can start today. You don't have to wait till tomorrow. you don't have to wait till next week. There's some simple things that shouldn't say simple, but there's some some easy things.
00:13:56
Speaker
tools that you can start to put in place today to begin to develop that resilient mindset. First and foremost for me, Nicole, is i work a lot with my clients on on goal setting.
00:14:07
Speaker
It seems like just an easy thing to say, oh yeah, let's work on goals. But when you are goal oriented, you know what you're chasing, you have vision behind it. It just adds so much clarity and focus on the days that you don't want to continue, the the tough days when you have the vision.
00:14:24
Speaker
ah here's my six month goal here's my three year goal what whatever it is whatever time length when you tap that into your why and that's actually my second thing is that identifying your why you just gain so much clarity and and focus and it helps get you over those hurdles on the days that you don't want to continue doing whatever you're doing whether it's training for a marathon or or some days some days i don't want a parent i hate admitting that but some some days it's it's tough and so uh identifying goals that are what's called smart goals. They're very specific, measurable, actionable, tangible, and realistic.
00:15:02
Speaker
I got my letters mixed up there, but when you set very specific measurable goals in the short run, kind of middle length goals and then long goals, you can begin to start with those small goals and start knocking those small ones out and they begin to stack like a snowball on top of each other you gain confidence and momentum with that and then those feed into middle-length goals which then you start knocking those out then they feed into your your larger goal so there is so much gain to be had with with being clear on your your vision and and your goals and then secondly being identifying your why
00:15:40
Speaker
and When the goals feed into your why, it's an absolute game changer. When you know at a deep level, core values and core beliefs that you have at a deep level, and they feed into your goal, it just makes the goals that much easier.
00:15:56
Speaker
What's your why, John? i love that question. Mine, I wake up every single day with a posture exercise. and sort of an attitude to serving and adding value to those around me. And i I pray this almost every single day, Nicole, that I could serve and add value to at least one person every day. I'm not focused on i'm quantity. I'm focused on quality. you know And if I can change somebody's life for the better, and sometimes it's just as simple as I acknowledge you know somebody at the grocery store,
00:16:29
Speaker
far too often there's people that that don't feel seen and you holding the door open for somebody or saying, Hey, I acknowledge you, or I see you, you know, how's your day and truly meaning it, not just expecting the generic, Hey, I'm good, but that can be a that can be a source of, of serving.
00:16:48
Speaker
But when you do that time and time again, day after day, know, you can help 365 people in a year that compounds and, Over the course of a lifetime, you've helped a lot of people. So mike my why is and tapping into serving and adding value, truly serving and putting somebody first before me every single day.
00:17:09
Speaker
I love that ah stacking up too. I mean, it feels small, but when you say one person a day, 365 people a year, it's like, wow, you can have a big impact just a little bit at a time.
00:17:20
Speaker
Absolutely. And then my last thing doesn't necessarily flow with the first two, but it's something that I i try to do daily and it's facing your your fears.
00:17:31
Speaker
It can be hard to do. it is hard to do, but our fears are oftentimes just constructs of our our imagination. they're Oftentimes they're a figment of our imagination and they're things that will never actually even happen or come to fruition.
00:17:50
Speaker
There are things obviously that, you know, I'm not a huge fan of of snakes or spiders. actually Me either. Mainly the spiders. Yes. my My wife is not here. So I'll say this to you guys and hopefully she doesn't listen to this podcast. But guys, if there is a snake outside in the past, my wife has been the one to kill it, which I hate admitting that.
00:18:14
Speaker
I love the honesty. i want to acknowledge that there are things that people... are afraid of. But my point with fears don't exist is that oftentimes they're things just made up in our mind. the things that you might be fearful of, they don't even happen the way that that we thought they would be. And oftentimes things go a lot better than we think they would.
00:18:37
Speaker
And so if you can wake up every day and challenge yourself to do the hard things first. The rest of the day is all downhill. So for me, and I've been doing this a long time and it's still something I don't enjoy, but I take either cold showers or I do old bath or cold soak that I've been doing it for years. And to this day, I still can't stand it. I don't enjoy that initial shock, but the feeling afterwards can again, stack the confidence that you gain from doing those hard things.
00:19:10
Speaker
it's a It's a game changer. And that the fears can look different for for everybody, but I can't stand the cold water that I do it every single morning because of basically the mental gains that I get from it.
00:19:23
Speaker
ah Yep. That is not a fun way to wake up every single morning. What are your other fears that you feel like you're getting up and facing every day? So my my my mind goes back, and and I wanted to share this story too, but i can't stand heights and I don't necessarily face this every day, but I wanted to share this about the importance of facing our fears. Back through officer candidate school, so I graduated from basic training, went back home and did what's called state OCS or state officer candidate school. So basically one one week in a month, two weeks in the summertime,
00:20:03
Speaker
for, I think the program is 18 months. I officer candidate school and every single drill was ah challenge, both mentally and physically, and just very demanding.
00:20:15
Speaker
One of the drills we we had team building and leadership obstacle course. And, you know, most, for the most part, I find most of that fun on athletic. I like physical challenges, but I cannot stand heights.
00:20:26
Speaker
And there was one moment where we had this this telephone pole that was planted in the ground. And there was these small little metal rungs that you had to climb up to. The day was windy, by the way. And we had to stand on this probably two foot, like two foot wooden platform at the top and by ourselves and then stand up and then jump up and out to this metal bar that hung from a nearby tree. And nobody, I was probably halfway in line and nobody was was getting it. Some people weren't even making it to the top.
00:20:59
Speaker
Other people you just weren't tall enough to to jump and reach it. And I just had all these you negative what ifs in my mind. told myself I'm going to do it. I didn't make it this far to just stop.
00:21:12
Speaker
I was questioning all my life decisions up until that point. But you know what? I did it. I climbed up the top. It was pretty awful, but not quite as bad as I thought. And think I'm just tall enough.
00:21:24
Speaker
that I was able to to jump up and and I was one of the only few to actually get that bar that hung. And to this day, and why I bring that story up is that to this day, anytime where I'm feeling low, that is a confidence booster that I have basically placed a notch in my belt of confidence where I can tap back into that, that moment, that experience of, Hey, I was scared to death to do but I, did it.
00:21:52
Speaker
And, The confidence gained, that flooded into all areas of my life, even outside the guard, you know, since then. And that that was three or four years ago. And so i I, on a very regular basis, even before I do podcasts, I've done a lot of them.
00:22:12
Speaker
And still to this day, or if I'm speaking to people, i kind of have that, who am I to share my knowledge or wisdom with others? But I can tap back into that that confidence and be like, you know what?
00:22:25
Speaker
I have done certain things in my life. I do have valuable things to offer and and share. So that's why I share that that story with you. Yeah, I appreciate that. I think what you're saying is when fears only exist in our mind, creating experiences where we've done hard things is stacking up that proof, right? That I can do hard things.
00:22:45
Speaker
I can be in situations where I'm feel fearful or afraid and have positive outcomes. And it it almost creates some grounding to come back to when your brain starts to freak out and go like, hey, this I don't want to do this or this sucks or, you know, no, no, no.
00:23:00
Speaker
Be like, oh, no, we've done this before. You're going to be fine. You can survive. it's gonna It's going to turn out okay or or it may even turn out better. i mean, when you push yourself to do hard things, it's just stacking up evidence that that you can do other hard things and and it'll all be okay.
00:23:15
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. And if you can ah achieve X, Y and Z, what what else can you get done? And so it it kind of opens your mind to man, what else can I do out there? And things that you didn't even think you would ever attempt, you start attempting. And there is there is so much power in that.
00:23:33
Speaker
Yeah. Bring this back to ranching for me because you're also a rancher. And okay, how does all of this like resilient mindset, doing hard things, all of that relate back to agriculture and your day-to-day life on the ranch? Yeah.
Community and Vulnerability
00:23:48
Speaker
I'm finding that ah lot of individuals are just going through the same thing. Sometimes I feel like I'm um on an island on my own, especially when my wife and I had moved back.
00:23:59
Speaker
I had certain experiences. I had worked for a U.S. Senator. was seeing unity, joining the military. i didn't always feel connected with individuals moving back, but We've been on the on the ranch here full time. I'm becoming to realize, hey, the things that I'm going through, my neighbor's going through, we actually, my my dad manages crop side of things.
00:24:22
Speaker
My wife and I manage our our cattle operation and it works good because we end up not butting heads as much because we manage what we're passionate about. but It's given me kind of a different appreciation for my dad, for instance, because i always respected him as as my dad. He was a mentor to me growing up. But when you're strapped with how do I make this payment? How do I make this bill?
00:24:45
Speaker
It hits you in a different way than when you're just growing up. you know Even through high school, you don't know any of that. And so it's given to me a ah deep appreciation for he I was raised, for my parents, especially how my ah dad does at times a little bit.
00:25:00
Speaker
harder on me ah with certain things, but I know now why he did certain things. And so I have so much different appreciation for stresses that my life and I have gone through in the last seven, eight years since we've been back here full time. And then I know that the things that I'm going through and my dad, well, our neighbors are are going through also. And so it just kind of a cool connection piece.
00:25:26
Speaker
People talk about the military being a tight-knit individual, kind of a brotherhood, and it very much is that, but agriculture is ah a brotherhood as well that I don't think very many people think of, but we're all going through a lot of the same stresses together.
00:25:41
Speaker
Because of that, we all need to be supportive and encouraging to those around us in the agriculture community. Yeah, I appreciate that you bring that up, the brotherhood piece of it. And also, as we think about agriculture as a whole, it's a very stressful profession, whether you're talking about big amounts of capital or the fact that, you know, animals' lives are depending on you or that it's you you never get a break time. Most of the time, it's 365 day a year job.
00:26:08
Speaker
Some of what you're talking about with resilient mindset and supporting the community around you can be really challenging when part of the culture of agriculture, right, is to to not necessarily show that you're struggling or that you're dealing with that stress.
00:26:21
Speaker
So what tips do you have for for supporting people in maybe your agriculture community who may not wear the stress as visibly, you may not even know, are struggling? Yeah. I think with this question, i would speak directly to guys.
00:26:36
Speaker
i want to encourage a male listener, whoever that is, that's listening to this, that strength comes from you know guys who are vulnerable.
00:26:46
Speaker
you know you don't have to share every single and emotion that you have, that there is so much strength. And some of the most masculine guys that I i know are those who acknowledge that they need help and they seek help, whether it be through through a coach, something like what I'm doing with resiliency and mindset coaching or a therapist.
00:27:08
Speaker
Some things are kind of out of my my wheelhouse and I i recognize that. But some of the strongest men that I know, some of the most masculine men, I know are those that aren't afraid to ask for help. There's so much strength in that. And so I just want to encourage guys that it's not a sign of weakness like like what we were kind of taught as boys to just.
00:27:32
Speaker
And I think there's a certain time and a place to just rub some dirt on it. i I agree with that statement to to a degree. But then there's a time and a place for that.
00:27:43
Speaker
share Share the things that you're going through because that is what builds strong men. Yeah. Well, I think what you were talking about, sometimes feeling like you're on an island and realizing, oh, it's not just you.
00:27:54
Speaker
There's so many other people that are having this same experience. And sometimes even just knowing that like, oh, it's not just me, i think can also help with some of that resilient mindset too, right? Because you can look at someone else and be like, they're going through it too. Maybe I can get through as well.
00:28:10
Speaker
Yeah. And sometimes... Sometimes people just need to be heard. I'd share a tip of how you can help those around you, whether it's family or friends.
00:28:21
Speaker
Just checking in with people a game changer. Most of the time, we don't know what anybody is going through. You know, we could be going through ah financial struggle or Maybe ah a family just had a miscarriage. We don't know what people are going through.
00:28:37
Speaker
And sometimes people just need to feel seen and and heard. Kind of going back to to serving others, that serving can, again, just be holding the door open for somebody. Or think about this often, actually, almost every time that I go grocery shopping, which is actually not that frequent, my wife doesn't want me. She's so much more ah efficient with that. But when I go, I think, man, this person working here,
00:29:02
Speaker
sees how many people every day, hundreds probably, and they probably don't get talked to very often and probably not a deep loved one. So i I try to acknowledge that individual and truly, genuinely thank them for them helping me you know work my way through getting my groceries and and stuff and getting checked out.
00:29:24
Speaker
But people like that, they they probably don't always feel seen and heard. And so something as small as just acknowledging somebody who's serving you, that's that's a service in itself. Make that person feel seen and and heard.
00:29:36
Speaker
The little things can make a huge difference. So if I'm someone who, you know, I care about the people around me, I work in a ah rural community, how do maybe I start some of those conversations if I'm concerned about a family or friend who could be struggling?
00:29:51
Speaker
Yeah, I think. truthfully just opening up and asking people how they're doing and not just with the expectation of, hey, going to give me, hey, I'm good. Ask it and really mean it. Most of the time, and i am I am very cognizant of when somebody asks me how I'm doing, even if I don't have much to give, I always change the word from good to doing well or something other than good because it just gets overused so much.
00:30:21
Speaker
But ask ask individuals how they're doing. I'm big on, and I actually need to to get back to this, but for quite a while, almost on a weekly basis, I would reach out to at least one person in my contact and just shoot them a text of, hey, thinking of you, it's been a while, let's connect, or hey, how are you doing? Or maybe there was something on Facebook that I saw somebody did and I send them a personal message, but little things like that that asking somebody how are they doing and actually meaning it. And if you just get the, I'm good, dig into that.
00:30:58
Speaker
Ask questions that that don't elicit just a good response, but ask questions in a way that opens them up to, actually, I'm i'm struggling with this. So I think think what's key is just asking questions to get people to open up.
00:31:12
Speaker
That's a good first starter, I i think, just to continually check in on on those that you care about.
Reframing Stress Positively
00:31:19
Speaker
Yeah, absolutely. I also love asking people like, what's going good lately? Or yeah like, what's something exciting that you're working on? Because it if we're going to be in that positive mindset space, sometimes it it gets them going right there.
00:31:31
Speaker
Or it opens up an opportunity for them to be honest and vulnerable and be like, you know what, right now, not a lot. It's it's not a great week. And and i I'd say it's not a it's not bad to say, hey, I'm not doing great. We all have low points and we all have stresses that we deal with.
00:31:50
Speaker
The most resilient individuals, we can't eliminate stress. We're going to always have stresses and obstacles, roadblocks that hit us, but it's how you respond to those adversities is what makes the difference.
00:32:05
Speaker
Yeah. Let's go into leading teams and resiliency around that. Stress is typically part of success, right? Sometimes I think there may even be a belief of like, if you're not stressed, you're not working hard enough, especially in high stress situations, right? Like your military experience or even on the farmer ranch.
00:32:21
Speaker
How do you respond to that mindset of there is stress. You do need to stress yourself to some extent to be successful. How do you manage through that without going too far? There's research that suggests when it comes to stress,
00:32:34
Speaker
Our minds don't know the difference between something that we're excited about versus something that we're maybe anxious or or worried about. And so I think if we can acknowledge in the moment that we're feeling stressed, dial in and think about, is this in response to something negative that's happening or or a positive response?
00:32:57
Speaker
And if it's a negative, try to reframe it to a positive. So just using this as a broad example, because I think most of us maybe don't like public speaking, your mind's response to that is the same as, hey, I'm anxious for my birthday party tomorrow.
00:33:15
Speaker
And I'm sharing that because we're celebrating my dad's 70th birthday here in a couple of days. But our minds don't know the difference between that. And so rather than Hey, let's be nervous and stressed for this talk that I'm going to give.
00:33:31
Speaker
I'm going to turn that into i have a real opportunity to serve somebody. And I i think to it, to your point, I think ah i don't know if I call it good stress. I mean, maybe you could, but I think.
00:33:44
Speaker
certain stresses if we're framing it in response to something positive it's actually a benefit to us because that excited kind of anticipation actually helps us walk in it helps us stay focused you know anytime i do a podcast or i get on a coaching call or i i give a talk to a group of individuals or i'm doing a workshop for my soldiers i i still have a certain level of kind of You know, you don't know how it's going to go. There's a little bit of nerves that come from that. But I choose to funnel that into there's a lot of positives here. And I use it as a like a focusing, staying focused tool.
00:34:27
Speaker
I don't know if that makes sense. But I think if you're feeling a lot of stressors, re reframe the the anxiety into maybe a positive and you can use it as a helpful tool. Yeah, absolutely.
00:34:40
Speaker
If you can take the mindset from like, oh, I'm nervous or I'm going to mess up to even that feeling of Christmas morning anticipation or even sometimes like, i yeah I'm so excited for this to be over. You can even get you there, but it can help you kind of shift shift that feeling.
00:34:55
Speaker
Okay, John, I think we are going to move into some rapid fire questions.
Encouraging Openness and Growth
00:34:59
Speaker
So just hit me with quick answers as as much as you can through this next segment. Is there any myths or straight up bad advice about resiliency that you want to bust?
00:35:09
Speaker
We've already touched on this, but again, I grew up with, and not any fault to the the men in my life, but I think just growing up with a you know Don't share your emotions, your your thoughts, your feelings. It's just, let's move on from this.
00:35:26
Speaker
I couldn't be further from resilient individuals because when you're not when you're closed off and not talking about things and you're not vulnerable, you're far from resilience. I think that that was terrible advice that that most guys I know get and probably women as well, but certainly guys i get that quite often, I think.
00:35:48
Speaker
ah What do you hope the next generation of ag leaders dares to do differently than your generation? It'd be my hope that we continually, our generation continues to seek outside guidance and and perspective, outside wisdom from others.
00:36:05
Speaker
I think life is a team effort. Nobody accomplishes anything, especially big in life, but really anything in general. Nobody accomplishes anything without a ah team.
00:36:16
Speaker
training for a marathon, you need a team of supporters around you, both you with nutrition, stretching, and and running coach and whatnot. You have business partners when you're ranching, you have the nutritionist and vet. And so I think that team aspect. So I hope that our generation continues to seek outside wisdom and counsel when it comes to goal setting and just accomplishing things that they want to.
00:36:42
Speaker
Absolutely. How can leaders help their team stay mentally strong, especially in tough times? I like that question a lot. I think leading by example is is what first comes to mind. I don't ask anything of my soldiers that I wouldn't first do myself.
00:37:05
Speaker
And I think leading by example and and having a very open communication, being flexible, adaptable with your with those that you're leading, and then being very clear and transparent with goals and and having lot of I think to get a lot of buy-in from your your team members, have them be a part of the planning and the decision-making process. Me as an officer, I don't always know the answer to the ah question. And when I'm creating a plan, I oftentimes seek my and NCOs or non-commissioned officers.
00:37:40
Speaker
They're the subject matter experts and I create and craft a plan. And so just having a very open team effort, I think is key. If there's one thing you hope people take away from this podcast episode, what do you hope it is?
00:37:54
Speaker
I want to challenge people to do the hard thing first. And I want people to face the things in life that that they were scared to death to do.
00:38:06
Speaker
But knowing on the other side of that is a version that they've never seen before. i I began to really acknowledge that and and see that as I ah trained for my first marathon and really happy that that you're going through that process because there's there's so many mental gains.
00:38:24
Speaker
I get so many more mental gains than physical gains from running. And it's opened me up to let's face our fears. There's so much growth and potential on on the other side of that. So I want listeners to live a life and don't live small. Don't think small, dream big.
00:38:44
Speaker
know that sounds cliche, but we have everything inside of us to accomplish anything that we want. It just takes kind of some reshifting of our mindset and and viewing challenges as opportunities to learn and grow from. But we have everything inside of us to accomplish what we want to. We just sometimes need some outside help to help get us there.
00:39:06
Speaker
Kill the snakes, but if you need to, have a friend help you out. Yeah, absolutely. Or your wife. don't Don't do it alone. Yeah. ah Or maybe go out and kill the snakes, but you just don't have to do it by yourself. Yeah, absolutely.
00:39:22
Speaker
ah So we love to ask our guests for bold opinions, hot takes at AFA. So what is unconventional or hot take that you have, John, about leadership?
Generational Potential and Connection
00:39:31
Speaker
So I ah love this question a lot. i I like that you guys asked this. So um want to quote a an article that that I think about pretty often. I first read it several months ago, but the article talked about today's youth is is lazy and Today's youth is is lazy in language and communication.
00:39:57
Speaker
They don't seek hard work, nor have the endurance to see it through. They don't have grit or resolve, and they lack ambition with much of what they do. And that that sounds like what we oftentimes hear today, isn't it, Nicole?
00:40:16
Speaker
Well, that article is actually from an op-ed 1938. and nineteen thirty eight from the Chicago Caribbean written about the youth that later became the greatest generation who stormed the beaches in Normandy and and helped turn the tide World War II.
00:40:33
Speaker
And so why I share that is because each generation thinks the younger generation is lazy, not with it, not, not, not put together. And that certainly was true for the author of in 1938, you thought nothing of those who would later change the world.
00:40:52
Speaker
And Nicole, when I had the opportunity to speak to AFA leaders conference this last November, and those college students in attendance greatly and impressed me. I think about it often, the questions that they posed to me after I spoke in my workshop,
00:41:11
Speaker
They were questions I've never thought of before. They were questions I've never heard from or or gotten from older individuals who are are wise and seasoned in their their work. And so want to encourage those young leaders who might be listening to this podcast that the sky is the limit and they could very much be considered the greatest generation, the new greatest generation. So ah one ah want young leaders to put that in their pocket and the sky's the limit and I want individuals to dream big and, uh, and, and live a life that, uh, that serves others and, uh, in a way that they were called to. Yeah.
00:41:54
Speaker
Go out there and prove people wrong. love the historical tradition of, you know, every generation apparently has their version of millennials are spending all their money on avocado toast or, you know, uh, so that's a great hot take, John.
00:42:08
Speaker
Um, I so appreciate you spending time with us today. Your story is so fascinating and interesting. And i love the way that you mix leadership and the beef industry and mental health and, you know, service to to our country and to other people. It's been awesome to get to know you.
00:42:26
Speaker
Where can people who are listening connect with you and learn more about you and what you do? Yeah, absolutely. They can find me on Instagram at Coach John Soxie and I'm on LinkedIn and Facebook as as well.
00:42:40
Speaker
Just John Soxie, but do a lot of work on Instagram. So they can find me there. Perfect. Well, great. Thank you so much, John, for joining us on this episode of the Cultivating Leaders podcast.
00:42:52
Speaker
Thanks for listening to the Cultivating Leaders podcast brought to you by Agriculture Future of America. If you've been here before, you know, we value feedback as a gift. please leave us a review and let us know how we're doing.