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Finding Your Voice to Inspire Change with Courtenay DeHoff
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Have you ever felt like an outsider in the industry you were raised in? In this episode of the Cultivating Leaders Podcast, we welcome Courtenay DeHoff—television host, fifth-generation rancher, and founder of the Fancy Lady Cowgirl movement—for a bold conversation about pursuing a fulfilling career, challenging exclusion in agriculture, and empowering bold ideas.
Courtenay shares great advice around:
- Encouraging bold change: How exclusion in ag holds the industry back—and what to do about it
- Authenticity as a superpower: Identity and individuality fuel impact
- Finding your place in ag: Pursuing purpose despite pushback
This episode will challenge you to show up fully, lead unapologetically, and create space for others to do the same.
Connect with Courtenay
- Connect on LinkedIn
- Follow her on Instagram
- Like her on Facebook
- Follow her on TikTok
- Visit her Website
Connect with AFA
- Follow us on LinkedIn
- Follow us on Instagram
- Like us on Facebook
- Follow us on TikTok
- Visit our Website
About The Cultivating Leaders Podcast
Real stories. Practical advice. Tangible growth. Join The Cultivating Leaders Podcast, brought to you by Agriculture Future of America, as we explore what it takes to lead in food, agriculture, and beyond. Whether you’re just starting out or leading at the highest level, this podcast is your go-to resource for leadership that matters. Listen now and start cultivating your leadership journey.
Don’t forget to follow/subscribe so you never miss another episode!
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Transcript
Realization of Missing Fulfillment
00:00:01
Speaker
So my story is i didn't have the courage for a decade, but what I discovered is no matter how big the job was, no matter how much money I was making, no matter how famous the person I was interviewing was, I was never fulfilled and I couldn't figure out why.
00:00:17
Speaker
and finally i discovered it's because a piece of me was missing.
Introduction to Cultivating Leaders Podcast
00:00:26
Speaker
Welcome to the Cultivating Leaders podcast, where we get inside the minds of leaders to harvest great ideas and lessons that help you grow as a difference maker in food and agriculture. I'm your host and curiosity captain, Nicole Ersig.
Interview with Courtney Diehoff
00:00:38
Speaker
Today, I'm sitting down with Courtney Diehoff, who you may know as the fancy lady cowgirl. She's a Kansas cowgirl turned television host and motivational speaker on a mission to empower people to live legendary lives through the unstoppable cowgirl spirit.
Return to Agricultural Roots
00:00:52
Speaker
Courtney spent nearly a decade in the big cities as a television personality before finding her way back to her agriculture roots. Now she spends her time developing others and highlighting the diverse world of agriculture.
00:01:03
Speaker
Courtney, welcome to the pod. Thank you so much for having me. I'm excited. We're so glad you're here. Okay. What did I miss from your bio? Oh gosh. I mean, I think you nailed it. You know, it's so funny because even when I do like my speaking engagements, there is nothing more awkward than like standing in a room, especially, or listening to someone read your bio. Because let's be honest, I wrote that bio. I mean, who are we even kidding?
00:01:25
Speaker
you You write it in like the third person so that you, you know, you think some other professional wrote it, but no, you nailed it. That was great. Oh, Awesome.
Origin of Fancy Lady Cowgirl,
00:01:32
Speaker
Okay, so I am curious, how did Fancy Lady Cowgirl start?
00:01:35
Speaker
Yeah, you know, Fancy Lady Cowgirl was really sort of a culmination of my life experiences. And really what it comes down to is I turned my mess into my message, right? So i grew up agriculture, fifth generation.
00:01:50
Speaker
ag was all I knew. My grandparents run cow-calf operation. My mom and dad run a few cow-calf pairs. So, you know, ranching is really in our blood. And grew up rodeoing, showing cattle, all things ag. And I grew up surrounded by people in agriculture. And then went to college, landed an internship in TV, and sort of discovered that I had a real love and passion for storytelling. And that's how my TV career sort of came about, was just ah an internship in Stillwater at Oklahoma State where I went to school. And So I pursued it, you know, for a decade. I pursued this TV career and crime climbed the ladder of mainstream news, you know, primarily mainstream news, some lifestyle and entertainment as well.
00:02:32
Speaker
And those jobs took me to the biggest cities in America. So I really sort of left agriculture behind in a way. And then when I finally tried to sort of dip my toe back into the ag space through storytelling,
00:02:47
Speaker
Just on social media, what I discovered was because people didn't know who I was and I didn't live in the right place and I didn't necessarily dress the right way and I didn't live on a farm or ranch anymore, what I discovered is that there was a lot of pushback because they were like, you're not really one of us.
00:03:04
Speaker
But nobody knew my story, right?
Embracing Complex Identities
00:03:06
Speaker
They just sort of made those assumptions based on my television hosting and my career And so Fancy Lady Cowgirl really was just born of my struggle to try to come back into the ag space but not fit in.
00:03:17
Speaker
Because the truth is, I love being a TV host. I enjoy ah living in a city. You know, there are a lot of perks to living in a city. But I am always, first and foremost, a cowgirl. And i love living out on the land and horses and cattle. And so it's really just my combination of my two worlds.
00:03:33
Speaker
I wanted to be a fancy lady who lived in the big city and interviewed the fancy celebrities and did all the things. But I i also wanted to be a
Birth of a Community Movement
00:03:40
Speaker
cowgirl. So it really started with an Instagram post and it was nothing more than a hashtag at the bottom of a post that said Fancy Lady Cowgirl. And that's kind of how the community was born.
00:03:49
Speaker
I love it. It started a movement. How did you find the courage to show up in both spaces? So as a fancy, very feminine woman, um but also a cowgirl who can get out there and work cows with anyone, um how did you find the courage to show up when often people expect just one version of you?
00:04:07
Speaker
Yeah. Well, I think something that's really important for your listeners to understand, you know if they if they're familiar with Fantasy Cowgirl or they know the brand and sort of what I've built now, just know you know I travel around giving
Overcoming Stereotypes and Authenticity
00:04:18
Speaker
keynotes. And one of the keynotes I give is on storytelling, teaching people how to tell their story in agriculture, kind of like I did to you know advocate for the community. And if they want to grow a brand, brand go grow a brand. And I tell them all the tips and tricks and amazing things I've learned. And I'm like, now remember, it only took me 15 years to figure this out. like It only took me 10 years to finally have the courage to step back into the ag space. And the people that I was working with in television, they had no idea where I came from.
00:04:49
Speaker
Because very early on in my career, I was told by agents and managers in the television business, they were like, don't ever wear a cowboy hat. Like, don't let anyone see you in a cowboy hat because if you want to be taken seriously by, you know, the big media markets, New York, l LA, Chicago, Dallas, like, if you want us to take you seriously, you need to take off the the cowgirl hat is what they called it.
Reconnecting with Agriculture
00:05:11
Speaker
And So I did. So my story is i didn't have the courage for a decade, but what I discovered is no matter how big the job was, no matter how much money I was making, no matter how famous the person I was interviewing was, I was never fulfilled and I couldn't figure out why.
00:05:28
Speaker
And finally, I discovered it's because a piece of me was missing. And so that really was what gave me the courage. I was like, I cannot live a half full life, right? Like no matter how cool the job is, if you come home every day and you're miserable, like that's no life to live. And so I stepped back sort of into the ag space. And I'll be honest, it took a lot of courage to step back into that space too, because what I learned sort of for the first time, because I had never separated myself from ag, is that the ag community can be very, very tough on people.
Challenges in Ag Community
00:06:02
Speaker
They are very tough on outsiders. They are very tough on people that don't look like them, think like them, talk like them. And it was such a wake-up call for me because in the back of my mind, as I'm reading the mean comments and all the things like, you you know you don't belong here, you can't tell our story, I'm thinking,
00:06:16
Speaker
whoa, whoa, whoa, I'm fifth generation. I'm born, bred, and raised. And what was the wake-up call for me was if they're treating me this way, imagine how they're treating true first-timers, first generation that want to be a part of this.
00:06:31
Speaker
And so I made that my mission, to be the mouthpiece that says, hey, wear the hat, don't wear the hat. I don't care if you can ride a horse or not ride a horse. If you have any sort of love or passion for this industry, you have a place in it.
00:06:44
Speaker
And we need all kinds of kinds. We're never going to evolve and grow if we don't start accepting people from all walks of life. the The courage came. And as you get older and as you mature, right it's easier to be courageous. Like 25-year-old Courtney would have answered this question completely different than 35-year-old Courtney is answering it And so I just say, you know, for anyone listening, the best moments and the best experiences in my life and the and the best agriculture experiences that I've probably ever had didn't come until I finally found the courage to just show up in the ag space exactly as the person I am.
00:07:20
Speaker
Whether my clothes make sense, whether my... You know, platforms make sense, whatever it is, i show up exactly as I was created to be because we need all kinds of kinds, right?
00:07:33
Speaker
And so my voice is needed, your voice is needed. And you just have you just have to have the courage to do it, but it's hard. Yeah, we each have a ah special gift that only like each individually we have. Exactly.
00:07:45
Speaker
i feel like a lot of us go on the journey of we find that, okay, we've hidden that part. And that honestly is is part of what makes people successful sometimes, right? Like even for you as a television host of, okay, I hid this part of me and it's helped me be successful, but it wasn't all of me. When you show up with your whole self, you start to become a magnet for the right things.
00:08:05
Speaker
Exactly. So good. So well said. I am curious, Courtney, what I heard you say is that the backlash from people in agriculture, the pushback from people in agriculture surprised you. What tips do you have for dealing with the haters?
Handling Negative Feedback
00:08:17
Speaker
Because I feel like whether you are a influential personality that's out there in the public's place like you are, or if you're just a professional dealing with tough feedback, how do you deal with the people who just say mean things?
00:08:29
Speaker
Yeah, that's a great question. And social media is the wild west. I mean, the internet, you know, anybody, people are so confident behind a keyboard, right? And so it doesn't matter what you're doing.
00:08:42
Speaker
There is going to be pushback. It doesn't matter how positive and shiny and beautiful your message and how beneficial it is for the world. There will be pushback. Now, I'm not always shiny and and beautiful and perfect. I mean, sometimes I poke the bear a little bit, the agriculture bear, because I think that there needs to be change and there needs to be those conversations. Here's the thing.
00:09:04
Speaker
I have tried all of the ways. I have been the person that fights back in every single comment, and here is what I will tell you from my own experience. You will never win. It doesn't matter how how eloquent your chat GBT reply is to Susan1237CattleRancher5.
00:09:22
Speaker
If she's mad and wants to take you down, she will take you down. And so I have learned I just i don't respond to them anymore. If they are hurtful to other people, if there's profanity, sometimes I'll delete them. If someone's just fully going off the rails and won't let it go, I'll block them.
00:09:41
Speaker
I think delete, block, ban, whatever you need to do or just simply ignore. um Because you can also play the game of like, well, if Susan keeps commenting, you know, it's my engagement rate is going. I mean, however, you need to handle it for your own personal psyche is the way to do it.
00:09:58
Speaker
Because, man, i'm i'm a I've worked in the TV industry. Like you want to talk about a volatile industry. um I've been around and I've dealt with ah all kinds of people.
Global Impact of Fancy Lady Cowgirl
00:10:10
Speaker
And it is amazing how one comment on Facebook or Instagram can make you feel miserable for the rest of the day.
00:10:17
Speaker
And life's too short. So I say delete it, block it, ban it. And the other thing is you have to show up and and tell the story or tell your story. confidently and authentically.
00:10:30
Speaker
Because if it's authentic to you, then you have the courage of knowing that it's your truth. And nobody can argue with your truth. And nobody can take away your truth.
00:10:41
Speaker
So my advice is to ignore them, which is terrible advice because I know that's nearly impossible. But I would say just ignore them and and don't be afraid to you know to block people. it's When it comes to social media,
00:10:55
Speaker
It's your platform. It is your platform. You hold the reins, so you be in charge. What do you think it is about your story and the fancy lady cowgirl movement in general that has really ignited a spark with people or touched them or really connected with people?
00:11:10
Speaker
You know, the very first time i ever used the hashtag fancy lady cowgirl, I had shared a post
Cowgirl Values and Skills
00:11:15
Speaker
and it was a side-by-side photo. Me in New York City, all dressed up, high heels. I was going to a show at New York Fashion Week and then a picture of me and Chinks standing in a pasture on my family's ranch.
00:11:26
Speaker
And the post was sort of a culmination of pushback I had already been getting on me sharing ag stories and how I probably wasn't qualified because, you know, I lived in ah in a city.
00:11:37
Speaker
And I said, you know, the hat on your head does not define you. The shoes on your feet do not determine your worthiness of being a voice for the industry, the color of your skin, your religion, your background. None of that matters when it comes to showing up in the agriculture space.
00:11:50
Speaker
We need all kinds of kinds. And to me, what I had learned over the last 10 years working in the TV industry is that being a cowgirl is so much more than an occupation. Being a cowboy is so much more than an occupation. Being a farmer, a rancher, whatever you want to say, it's a state of mind, right? It's it's the values by which you live your life. And so that was really sort of the gist of of that post. And then at the bottom, I wrote hashtag fancy ready cowgirl.
00:12:15
Speaker
And I'll never forget the very first message that I received. I embraced myself, you know, like, here we go again. And it just said, thank you. And i was like, oh, okay. Like, what is this? Because to be honest, Nicole, like I thought I was the oddball because I was the kid that grew up in ag and left it behind to pursue like this Hollywood career. I always just thought I was the only one that felt unwelcome sometimes in the ag space or not quite like I fit in maybe.
00:12:43
Speaker
And what I discovered through Fancy Lady Cowgirl is that there are thousands of people around the world. I mean, I was getting, I get messages from people France, from Australia, from all over the world, people saying, finally, someone is giving us permission to show up in this space exactly as we are. And I think that's what people connect to. I think it wasn't some like you know message necessarily that changed their life. I think it was just someone having the courage to stand up and say, hey,
00:13:13
Speaker
I'm going to do it my way and I'm going to give you permission to do it your way. and And that was what people needed. Yeah, absolutely. I think there's so many people that see themselves in what you do and especially for women, right? Like it's fun to be girly, but also so many women have strong, passionate and very technical skills in livestock production or food and agriculture
Advice on Embracing Identity
00:13:35
Speaker
in general. And i think what you say is you can be both.
00:13:38
Speaker
Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. And I think, you know, sometimes women, you know, there's that stereotype of like, oh, you know, she has on lipstick and she's pretty. And, you know, I just came from Australia and we did a muster. So like, you know, moving cattle is essentially what it was. And they call it a muster. And we were moving, i don't know, maybe 200 pairs, mama cows and pretty little calves, which as you know, moving tiny calves. And we were moving them quite a distance. And Like at one point, you know, they're jumping through bar bar fences. It's just like a whole thing, you know? And so I just got off and started pulling calves off, you know, and was in the middle of everything because, you know, it's how i grew up and it's what I do. And I just couldn't help myself to not like be involved. And we got done and they were like, wow. Like they gave me the top hand award, which they made up at lunch.
00:14:23
Speaker
But, you know, it made me think I was like, and i I, you know, I was in jeans and denim. Like I wasn't overly fancy, but like they had never seen that side of me. And so, yeah, I think, I just think that it's, I love when women, you know, can surprise people in the agriculture industry. And I think that's kind of what Fancy Lady Cowgirl, you know, represents as well. Like you can be both.
00:14:42
Speaker
Oh, absolutely. ah So personal story. When I worked in the cattle industry and I will never forget, I was young, maybe I'm like 25 and I used to be like a platinum blonde.
00:14:53
Speaker
And I was showing a cattleman's group around where I worked and giving them a ah talk on the beef industry and best management practices and some of that. Well, I was stepping in for the president of the company who was supposed to give them their tour. So 25-year-old Blonde Nicole was not who they signed up to see. um And I get done with my talk and tour and everything. And the the cattleman who was leading the group comes up to me and he's like, sweetie, I thought you were just a pretty face.
00:15:19
Speaker
But it turns out you know something about the cattle business. I learned something from you. You're like, thank you, sir. I was like, yep. Sometimes knowledge comes in unexpected packages. It does. It does.
00:15:30
Speaker
So you've talked a lot about showing up unapologetically. I'm curious, Courtney, do you have a part of yourself that you've struggled to own publicly? I mean, i used to be I used to be the girl that was embarrassed to like wear my cowboy hat in the airport.
00:15:43
Speaker
I mean, I used to carry a hat can, which if you've ever carried a hat can, what a nightmare. I mean, they're they're just like, they're the awkward size. It counts as a carry-on. So then you you know it's a whole thing. And you know now I feel naked without my hat on I mean, I wear it in the airport. I wear it on the plane. And what's amazing is, I mean, the barista at Starbucks who has probably, you know, you just know by looking has maybe never been on a farmer ranch barista.
00:16:12
Speaker
had anything to do with agriculture other than maybe the coffee that she's making. And you walk up and they're like, oh, I love your hat. Or can't remember where I was, maybe Atlanta or somewhere. Big, big airport. And I had my hat on and Beyonce had just dropped like Cowboy Carter or Dunner first.
00:16:28
Speaker
And I walked in and the gate agent was like, yes, ma'am. Like, okay, Beyonce. And it's just like, now it's fun. But I did have a really hard time you know owning that. And I think You know, I was even the kid that like had barn clothes and school clothes, right? I mean, we all did for like dirt purposes, but like I didn't want to be a cowgirl at school. I just wanted to look and be like everyone else, which I think young kids, you know, you all kind of do.
00:16:59
Speaker
But like I said, with age and maturity, i don't care. This is me. And I am so proud of how I was raised. And I am so proud of my family. And I am so proud to be a cowgirl and to ride horses and do all the things that now I sort of just own it.
00:17:14
Speaker
But it took me a long time. It took me a long time. I think some of the the pushback that you get is fear probably that's rooted in negative experiences. But I think the good ones that you've talked about are great. Like your cowboy hat, your cowgirl hat is a connector with people.
00:17:29
Speaker
But also, i mean, agriculture gets plenty of pushback or plenty of questioning
Open Storytelling in Agriculture
00:17:33
Speaker
from other people. What would you say to those people who maybe have some of that fear of letting other people in or I would say opening up the gates to people who don't have experience or exposure to agriculture?
00:17:45
Speaker
Yeah, that's a great question. um You know, I do ah a keynote on storytelling in ag and the whole the whole keynote, I have a workshop that follows and in it it's all dedicated to encouraging and teaching people how to share their story in agriculture.
00:17:58
Speaker
And, you know, I go through this whole thing, tips, tricks, why we need to share the story, the narrative, all this, we got to move the needle, blah, blah, blah. And then There always comes a point in the keynote where I look up into the audience and usually can see at least one skeptic, right? And you can sort of sort of see, maybe not a skeptic, but you can still sort of see the hesitation in a few of the people's eyes. And so what I always say is, look If you are not willing to share the agriculture story, someone is going to do it for us.
00:18:30
Speaker
And that's exactly what happens, right? You see stories on the news that are not always accurate or that take a certain angle. I worked in the news. I can tell you a lot of times why they're taking that angle.
00:18:42
Speaker
They're taking the angle against agriculture because the environmentalist or whoever it is, they were the first to answer the phone and agree to do an interview. Because the media, I don't have time. I don't have time. If you tell me no, I'm going hang up and I'm go to call the next person on my list.
00:18:58
Speaker
And so I always say, we have to be willing to have those conversations. We have to be willing, as you said, to open the farm gates, let people in, be vulnerable, be honest, show them the good,
00:19:09
Speaker
Don't be afraid to show them maybe a little bit of the ugly as well, because I think that transparency, that translates, right? Now, you have to be strategic, obviously, about it, because social media is a wasteland, and the internet is a wasteland, and one tiny thing can be completely blown out of proportion. So I say all this, but I also want your listeners to know I understand why there is fear.
00:19:34
Speaker
And I respect it. And I get it, right? Like I completely understand why we're hesitant. I completely understand why there is fear. But I think at the end of the day, we have to be willing to share the story.
00:19:47
Speaker
Because again, if we don't share the story, someone else will do it for us. Well, I think that translates to leadership, even in the corporate world of agriculture, even in the boardroom.
Transparency in Leadership
00:19:58
Speaker
Transparency creates trust. And when there is a gap in information, people are going to fill it. And where whether you fill it or they fill it is up to you.
00:20:09
Speaker
But whether you are a leader trying to share information internally or you someone who wants to share the story of agriculture, there's a gap there. And how transparent are you going to be and who is going to fill that gap?
00:20:20
Speaker
Exactly. Exactly. I'm curious, Courtney, let's talk a little bit about leadership and influence.
Future Ag Leaders and Change
00:20:25
Speaker
What do you think the next generation of leaders in agriculture needs to unlearn to be successful?
00:20:31
Speaker
Ooh. That's a really good question. um Is this one of the new ones you added? I don't remember. It is. ah It is. its a hundred and This is a great one. This is a great one. i was like, wow, I should have prepared an answer for this. What do they need to unlearn?
00:20:44
Speaker
You know, I think the next group of leaders in agriculture need to unlearn some of the old ways, right?
00:20:55
Speaker
You know, something that I see pretty commonly in the agriculture industry is that sort of, if it's not broken, don't fix it mentality.
00:21:07
Speaker
And that only works and that only gets you so far. you know and And when you look at the average age of the American farmer and and you look at agriculture and you compare the agriculture industry to other industries that are growing and flourishing, I feel like the ag industry, we're behind. i mean, we've've but we've always been behind.
00:21:27
Speaker
And I think part of it is because we don't embrace change and innovation and and leaders with new ways of thinking and new ways of doing things the way that we should. So maybe that next generation, if they can come in and shake that tree a little bit, right? and try new things and and do, you know, and here's the thing.
00:21:47
Speaker
I'm a big believer in, and do things a different way. Try it. If it doesn't work, we can go, the old ways will always be there. The tradition, the values, like that's not going anywhere, but maybe we need to take a different approach in how we maintain that those, you know, traditions and values and and things in agriculture So I would just say, you know don't be afraid to be bold.
00:22:10
Speaker
right I mean, we have it in us. people Agriculture people are built different. We're bold. We're courageous. We're gritty. like We have the qualities in us to be courageous leaders.
00:22:22
Speaker
We just have to tap into it. And so I would just say, you know be courageous and don't don't be afraid to to do it your way. As a fifth generation rancher, I love your mindset of you know embracing change and inclusivity, but also i can tell you care about the tradition.
Traditional vs. Innovation in Ag
00:22:39
Speaker
So from Courtney's perspective, how do you balance the good things of tradition while embracing the agriculture is going to look different in the future, both in people and how we do it?
00:22:49
Speaker
Yeah, you know, i have, i've I've traveled around the world, right? i've I've worked with farmers and ranchers in Australia and Canada and the US. And I work with a ton of, you know, different nationalities in the cutting horse business, the Italians, the germ, everybody. And what I think is so cool is that no matter their background, no matter what culture they come from, what their passport says, those traditions and values are always there.
00:23:19
Speaker
And I think that just goes to prove that that is something that we we we won't lose, right? It's in like our DNA. It is. Because how else do you explain, you know, a businessman from Australia and a cutting horse trainer from Italy and a, you know, girl from Canada. How do you else do you explain that we all have the same mindset and the same values, right? Like I think it really is in our DNA. I think you nailed it. That's a perfect way to say it.
00:23:45
Speaker
I think... as long as we stay true to you know those values that we all have within us and don't let the outside world you know sort of force us to fit into their molds and their stereotypes, I think as long as we stay true to who we are, we can try the new ways of doing things while still remaining true to the cornerstones of who we are as farmers and ranchers and agriculturalists.
00:24:10
Speaker
Yeah. For you, what do you think some of those like tried and true values are?
Cowgirl Code Values
00:24:15
Speaker
Yeah. So I have this thing I created, it's called the cowgirl code, but I think it completely applies to anyone in the agriculture industry. It's sort of how I teach women to have that mindset. Cause I really want to teach women from all walks of life, how to tap into sort of the cowgirl mindset. Cause I think ah We all have a little cowgirl in us, whether we know it or not. And those are you know courage, originality, worthiness, grit, resiliency, integrity. I think those are the values that really make up you know the agriculture community and the people in it.
00:24:47
Speaker
And I think that if we can stay true to those values and in anything that we're doing in the ag space, then the industry will continue to prosper and grow. I love those.
00:24:58
Speaker
I think when you said them, like I immediately resonated with all of them. I love that. I love that. So speaking of leadership and and values, what is a belief that you maybe once held about leadership or success that you've completely let go of?
Detaching Self-worth from Titles
00:25:12
Speaker
Ooh, these are good. Okay. Leadership or success. You know, i think this will work with this question. Something that I was very... that it took me a long time to understand when it came to leadership and and that sort of thing.
00:25:26
Speaker
I really felt like to be a ah great leader or to be you know successful or to leave my mark on life, I really held my job title as something that was very important to me.
00:25:40
Speaker
So my worth was completely wrapped up in me being a TV host. And in my mind, if I wasn't a TV host, I was worthless.
00:25:51
Speaker
Like, why, what was I, you know, what was I contributing to the world if I didn't have this fancy job title? And if I wasn't being invited to the, you know, the right parties and the engagements and the,
00:26:02
Speaker
red carpets and the things. And you know in 2017, they canceled the show that I was working on here in Dallas. And I decided I was going to go out and on my own and do freelance as a contractor.
00:26:14
Speaker
And I didn't have a i didn't land a job for a year. And in that time, I had to really reframe my mindset to teach myself that I could still be a great leader without the job title.
00:26:28
Speaker
to teach myself that I still had worthiness in the agriculture industry and the TV industry or the city or wherever I was without the big job title. I think sometimes as humans, we get so wrapped up in the job and the career and the whatever that we sort of lose sight of. If we don't have that, then we're lost.
00:26:51
Speaker
We're like, what what are we doing with our lives? And so I don't know if that really answers your question, but for me, that was one of the like mindset shifts that I needed to make to really be able to like grow and prosper and do something that really matters. Because the storytelling and ag and the advocacy and all the things I'm doing now, they didn't come until after I finally let go of you know what, i don't have to have be a network or a station or be a TV host every day to still have value and and and worth in this industry.
00:27:25
Speaker
Yeah, absolutely. A lot of times I think when we dream or think about our careers, there's a dream job or a dream title, and that's what makes us feel like we've hit success. But I think what you just summarized is it's not about the title, it's about the work that you're doing and how you feel about it.
00:27:40
Speaker
Yeah, absolutely. and And when you land those dream jobs or that dream whatever, it's great in the moment. But like I remember landed a job working for the PBR, the Professional Bull Riders, and my first gig was Madison Square Garden.
00:27:54
Speaker
And all I'd ever wanted to do was work in New York. it be And it was magical, like three sold out nights in MSG. I mean, it was the coolest thing ever. But I remember you know, rushing to the airplane afterwards, after the last round, getting on the airplane, looking out at New York, you know, city as I flew back to Texas.
00:28:12
Speaker
And all I remember thinking is, well, what now? Because my purpose was completely wrapped up in that. And it was when I finally was like, maybe my purpose isn't just interviewing people. Like maybe there is more to what I have to give or more ways I can show up as a leader in ag by advocating and standing up for you know people from all walks of whatever.
Vulnerability in Leadership
00:28:36
Speaker
When I finally made that shift, then things really opened up for me. I like it. Okay. So one of the things you talked about was, i think this may even be in the values that you said about or cowgirl code, but in agriculture, we talk a lot about grit.
00:28:49
Speaker
And I think we put a lot of value in it. And i I think that's great, right? You need grit. You need to be able to push through. ah But can you share a moment where either softness or vulnerability ended up being your strongest leadership move? Oh, yeah. I think, you know, one thought on that, yeah you know, I grew up surrounded by cowboys. Cowboys are tough.
00:29:09
Speaker
Cowboys are gritty, you know, and that's all fine and well, but that can also be incredibly toxic at at a certain point, right? Like we need, you know, you talk about mental health in the agriculture industry, you know, it's it's a huge problem.
00:29:22
Speaker
And so I think having that vulnerability and having that softness is really, really important. a beautiful, beautiful thing that I wish more people in the ag industry had the confidence to embrace.
00:29:36
Speaker
So when was a time that I had vulnerability? You know, honestly, the day that I made that social media post. and And because that all stemmed from hateful messages that I was getting on social media, and it it broke my heart.
00:29:52
Speaker
I mean, I called my mom and I was like in tears and I was like, I don't understand why these people are are being so mean to me. Like, don't they know I'm a cowgirl? You know, and it, that was my community. I mean, these, some of the people i knew and I'm like, oh my God, you know, I can see your name on social media. Right. You know?
00:30:11
Speaker
And so it really like hurt my feelings. And, and I thought that's it, whatever. I'm not going to do this. I didn't sign up to be abused on the internet. Like I'm over it. I don't need this. And you know, my mom talked to me off off my meltdown. And then I made that post on on social media and that was vulnerable, right? Because I, like I said, it was my mess. I just kind of figured out how to like turn it into a message. And I didn't know if one single person would be impacted by it.
00:30:36
Speaker
But having the courage to just be vulnerable and be like, look, I know it doesn't make sense. I know the high heels and the eyelashes and living in places like New York City don't make sense for agriculture, but this is me.
00:30:49
Speaker
This is what you get. This is who I am. I think that vulnerability really, it sparked something incredible. I mean, Fancy Lady Cowgirl turned into this incredible you know movement, as you called it, and and the opportunities that I've had since then have been, i never could have imagined.
00:31:04
Speaker
And so I think the most vulnerable thing you can do is to show up and walk into rooms even when you know you're not gonna fit in, even when you know there might not be a seat at the table for you.
00:31:18
Speaker
Don't be afraid to sit at the table alone until people catch on because they will find you. The right people will find you. And so I think for me, it was just being willing to show up, knowing that I wouldn't fit in, knowing that I may not have a you know proverbial seat at the table, but having the vulnerability to just do it and see what happens.
00:31:41
Speaker
I'm guessing for you that's something that is a practice. It's not once you did the first social media post that courage is needed over and over again. oh yeah. One of the things that that really surprised me, I love following you on social, but think it was a post about when you got your cutting horse and you talked about how you you didn't feel like you – fit or like that you like who you're like, who am I to buy this horse and do this thing? And I was like, girl, who are you not to?
00:32:07
Speaker
How can you feel that way? yeah You're the fancy lady cowgirl. And how could you feel like, oh maybe in this area, i don't belong. Yeah. no i think i think it's No, I think it's human nature, right? We all we all have those moments. And you know for me, buying Bucket, his name is Bucket, my little cutting horse, I wanted to like document it And I still haven't done a ton. um i need to I need to do more. But One of my friends, Katie, came and videoed like my first show and like me riding at the house. And I was like, oh my God, this is so cool.
00:32:39
Speaker
like I finally get to be a cutter because I've worked with the NCHA for several years. And I do TV work for their big Triple Crown show. So I'm interacting and working with the best in the world, right? And so like I'm watching like the open finals, like the people who do this for a living.
00:32:56
Speaker
And so I had this... like i I edited a video and I sent it to Katie and I was like... I don't think I can post this. And she's like, why? And I was like, well, because I don't look like the trainers. And she's like, well, you're not supposed to. I'm like, no, but like, I don't look like there's a lot of mistakes. Like i you know, I'm leaning, I'm like doing all the things. And, and that's what she was like, you know what, Courtney, like just post And I, and I did. and you know, I think Because my hope with that is to just show that, again, anyone can be a part of that industry, right? Like anyone can go out and buy a horse. I've got a great trainer who's like teaching me so much.
Embracing Mistakes in Competitions
00:33:34
Speaker
Anyone can learn, you know. But yeah, there was and there was some hesitancy there because i was like, oh my God, what are these these men that I am commentating with, these, you know, multi-million dollar riders, like what are they going to think?
00:33:49
Speaker
And here's the thing, at the end of the day, the people that matter are going to know that everyone starts somewhere. And this is a great like life lesson too, right? Just, you know, we'll use the cutting as an example, but like the people that matter, the trainers that matter, the riders that matter, they're not going to look at my run and be like, oh my God, like Courtney, you know, she's leaning on that horse, you know, whatever.
00:34:12
Speaker
They're going to look at it and think we all started somewhere. i think that's an important lesson for life as well. The people that matter and the people that get it and the people who have done what you've done, the people who have been great leaders, the people who have held the positions in agriculture that maybe you want to hold, or the people that have run farms and ranches, they're not going to look at you and make fun of you and the way you're doing it and your your your failings and all of the things that Because the people that matter get it, and they're going to respect that you even have the courage to try.
00:34:46
Speaker
Well, I think, I mean, for anyone who's maybe not familiar with what we're talking about, cutting horses and that kind of thing, basically what you're talking about, Courtney, is you like are interviewing and NBA players and then starting to play basketball.
00:34:59
Speaker
Essentially. but That is a beautiful, beautiful example. Yes, i am interviewing LeBron and then I have decided that I am also going to play basketball and I've never done it before.
00:35:11
Speaker
Like, yes, I know how to ride horses, but the cutting is like a whole new discipline for me. So yeah, that is a beautiful example. Yeah. But I think it's it's so incredible because there's a quote that I love that is the embarrassment is like the cost of admission.
00:35:27
Speaker
And what you're talking about, the people that are so successful that we admire, that we look up to, that we're worried are judging us are people that have gotten there because they have also failed so many times.
00:35:38
Speaker
So well said. And so- Those are not the people who are judging us. and those are not the ones that are that are going to leave the mean comments. They're typically the ones that are going to be like, hey, ah here's something that I learned. Don't make the same mistake I did. Can I help you? Exactly. Exactly.
00:35:54
Speaker
I'm curious, Courtney, because the experience that you're talking about there, I think so many people who don't grow up in um from a background in agriculture have some of that imposter syndrome or this like, I don't belong or I'm not ag enough.
00:36:06
Speaker
I know even recently for me, I realized like, oh no, I can embrace the fact that I was a a farm kid. I may mean, not the same type of farm kid that you were, but I grew up raising sheep. I grew up doing chores every day, but it took me a long time to even say that.
00:36:18
Speaker
I do have some background in agriculture. What advice do you have for people who feel like they love this industry, they've fallen in love with it, but maybe they don't belong or they don't quite fit in? Yeah, a and I would encourage them to reframe that feeling of not fitting in or not quite belonging as a superpower because that's what it is.
00:36:39
Speaker
I tell people all the time, someone like me who was born in it, bred in it, you know raised whatever in it, I'm valuable to the industry.
Valuing Diverse Contributions
00:36:50
Speaker
But i having left the industry and been out, you know, in the other world and then come back to the ag industry, I think the people who are new to it, the people who come in with maybe different ideas, different ways of doing things, I think that they might be even more valuable than people like me.
00:37:13
Speaker
Because we need that growth. We need that change. We need that freshness. We need those perspectives. So look at it as a superpower.
00:37:24
Speaker
Like you're coming into an industry that so desperately needs some fresh perspectives. And you have those, right? So don't be afraid to to show up and and to share you know your viewpoints or to be a leader in a different way. you know like I'll go back to the cutting, right? like i I ride into the pin and you know I'm a nervous wreck and like it's a whole thing. But one of the things, and I did this in rodeo too, like when I learned to rope.
00:37:55
Speaker
I didn't learn to rope until I was in college. So I was you know, at least 18 years behind the people that I was competing against. And the cutting, you know, is sort of the same thing. Like I ride in with the mentality of like, I don't have to fit in. I don't have to be perfect because this is new to me.
00:38:12
Speaker
I don't have to be one of you. I don't have to look and ride like the professional trainers because I'm not a professional trainer. Instead, I'm going to use this as like my superpower,
00:38:23
Speaker
And I'm going to have the mindset of like, you know what, if every single thing goes wrong in the pen today, at least I've now made every single mistake. So then I can learn from it and hopefully not make them again.
00:38:36
Speaker
You know, so I, and that's just like this mental sort of trick that I do. And and it served me really, really well in in the roping as well, because like I would back into the box and I'm like, okay, well, the girl before me, it was a one nine and like, she's been roping since she was six, but I just started, this is, this is month number two. So like, I'm going to go out, do my best.
00:38:55
Speaker
If I miss, Hey, it's because I'm new. Or if I catch, I'm going wow, like that, you know, I think reframing it as a superpower
Creating a Personal Space in Ag
00:39:04
Speaker
is such a beautiful mind trick because then you just show up so much more confidently.
00:39:11
Speaker
Because here's the thing, if you're new to it or if you don't feel like you fit in or you don't quite know where your space is, like, that's okay. Own that, right? Own that. i I mean, what I did was I didn't really have a space that I felt like I sort of fit in, so I created my own.
00:39:26
Speaker
create your own if you can't find your space. Yeah. I love it. I like the idea of playing the new card. Yeah. Like just play the new card. People do it with jobs and things all the time. You can do it in different areas of life too.
00:39:38
Speaker
Yeah. And it's such a like mind trick for me, at least it gives me confidence. Because I'm like, I have nothing to prove because I'm new at this. Now, like, you know, if I've been doing it for 40 years and I was doing all of the stupid things that I'm doing in the pen, I might be embarrassed. But I'm like, I'm new. You know, I'm trying my best. ah So.
00:39:57
Speaker
I like it. It's a very freeing. It is. Like, it's almost like giving yourself some permission to fail, but not in a cheesy way, just in a like, I'm new, so I'm going to make mistakes. Exactly. Exactly. Yeah, it's just reframing failure. I mean, that's really all you're doing.
00:40:10
Speaker
Okay, question for you, Courtney. You inspire so many others with the things that you say, with your talks, with your social media content. Who inspires you in the moments when the camera is off and things
Inspiration from Strong Women
00:40:20
Speaker
feel heavy?
00:40:20
Speaker
Ooh, that's a great question. You know, my... Go-to person is my mom. I mean, i talked to her multiple times a day for way too long. You know, I think my mom, my grandma, I just, I grew up surrounded by really powerful cowgirls, really powerful women who have never been afraid to show up as themselves, who have never been afraid to show up and work alongside the boys and, and, and,
00:40:45
Speaker
sort of own their space in agriculture. So I would say, you know, my mom and my grandma and my grandma, like the original fancy lady grew up in Chicago, grew up riding like beautiful saddlebred horses.
00:40:59
Speaker
And then she met this cowboy from Kansas and he brought her to Kansas and they didn't even have running water. And it was like, what, where, where have I, what, what is happening? You know, and she ran the, she ran the ranch alongside of them, you know, a girl from Chicago.
00:41:13
Speaker
And so I just, you know She's sort of the epitome of of a fan city cowgirl. And then she raised my mom. So you know they're pretty pretty much powerhouses. I love that. I also love that basically what you just shared, we talked about the tradition of agriculture and and how it looks different today and how maybe what you're doing looks different. But to me, it sounds like it's exactly what your grandma did. These are the stories of women in agriculture.
00:41:36
Speaker
ah You've just shown a spotlight on it. Yeah. I love that. Thank you. Okay.
Confidence in Cowgirl Identity
00:41:40
Speaker
So since you were talking about the matriarchs of your family are the ones who have inspired you, I am curious if your younger self could see what you're doing now, what would she cheer for and what would she question?
00:41:51
Speaker
Oh, I think she would really, really cheer for the fact that I can confidently put on a cowboy hat and confidently walk into a room and no longer fully, because i I do still, there's a small part of me that still cares, but not care all that much about what other people think.
00:42:12
Speaker
Because I think for women especially, We care so deeply about what everyone thinks, what what everyone thinks about us. And the truth is, as I've gotten older, I've realized that nobody is thinking about you as much as you're thinking about yourself, right?
00:42:27
Speaker
I think that she would be really proud, you know, that I finally had the confidence to just put on put on the damn hat and wear it and own it. And be a cowgirl anywhere, whether I'm in New York City or whether I'm in Dallas or Fort Worth or at a show, whatever, just to be the cowgirl. And then what would she not approve of? What was the second one? What would she question? Oh, what would she question?
00:42:50
Speaker
She might – She might question some of my outfit choices from time to time. Maybe some of my photo shoot. ah Only because as a little girl, again, i just wanted to fit in, right? Like I would never, and didn't want to stand out. I didn't want people to talk about me. And now I do photo shoots so that people talk about me. So she might be a little bit like,
00:43:10
Speaker
Oh, what's happening there. But I think she'd be proud. Overall, I think she'd be proud. That's what matters, I feel like. Would your younger self be proud? And would your 80-year-old self be proud? Yeah. Okay. So ah not to exclude the men at all, if you are listening, but Courtney, you do very much focus on women in agriculture.
Future Women Leaders in Ag
00:43:27
Speaker
So I'm curious, what do you hope women in agriculture are saying about their careers and opportunities 10 years from now?
00:43:33
Speaker
I just hope that they can look back at what they've done career-wise, leadership-wise, opportunity-wise. And I hope there is no hesitation when they say, yeah, I did that.
00:43:47
Speaker
Because I think so often as women, we that where we hold ourselves back, right? We hold ourselves back just a little, even when we think we're being brave, even when we think we're going for it. I mean, I do this. I'm guilty of this. And I give whole keynotes about living legendary. and you know But I hope that they can look back and say, I did it.
00:44:04
Speaker
And I did it all. Because... Life is short, right? Like, why not go for it? Why not live a legendary life? You know, and if you're in a season, you know, maybe you're in a great season, maybe you're in a low season, like don't be afraid to change things either.
00:44:23
Speaker
you know Don't be afraid to walk away from the dream job I did. Don't be afraid to to launch something new and crazy that you're not sure if someone will understand. don't Don't be afraid to be a leader that says things that maybe you're not sure that are going to be well-received. Sometimes I talk about agriculture and I'm like, hey,
00:44:42
Speaker
We're our own worst enemy. And that's a controversial topic. But like, don't be afraid to speak your mind. Don't be afraid to just ruthlessly pursue your dream because it's so worth it. It's so, so worth it. And in 10 years, you want to look back and say, yeah, I did it.
00:45:00
Speaker
Absolutely. Okay, Courtney, I want to go into some fun, lighthearted, just fast-paced questions for you. yeah So basically like a fire round of questions. Okay.
Leadership at Every Level
00:45:10
Speaker
What is one fancy thing you can't live without?
00:45:12
Speaker
Ooh, my Nespresso machine. I don't know if that's fancy, but I really love it. What is one cowgirl habit you will never give up? Ooh, one cowgirl habit i will never give up.
00:45:23
Speaker
That's a tough one. Just loving my horse probably more than I love most people. It's just a hard habit to break. What is one leadership myth that you think needs to be busted? Ooh, a leadership myth These are hard. These are not rapid fire questions.
00:45:39
Speaker
A leadership myth that needs to be busted. I think sometimes you we feel like a leader needs to be ah a person in a position of great power. And I think sometimes the best leaders are at the bottom of the ladder, right?
00:45:55
Speaker
And so maybe that mindset of it anyone can be a great leader, no matter where you are in your career. Maybe you're a leader in your own home. Maybe you're a leader for your family. Maybe you're a leader for the people that are below you, right? And so I don't know if that's really a myth, but I feel like a lot of times leadership is associated with, you know, someone who has a high ranking or who is who is powerful.
00:46:20
Speaker
And I don't think that's true at all. Absolutely. Okay. You get to leave a leadership lesson on a sticky note on every young leader's desk. What would it say?
Setbacks as Temporary
00:46:30
Speaker
Don't confuse the intermission for the finale.
00:46:33
Speaker
I think as leaders, there are going to be great times and bad times. When you're in the tough season as a leader, it's just an intermission. It's not the finale, right?
00:46:45
Speaker
Don't confuse those moments in life for the end or for failure because there it's just redirection. Because if you think about a great film or a great play or anything in the arts, you know, there's that intermission. And if you leave it intermission, you miss the best part of the story.
00:47:06
Speaker
Okay, Courtney, I know this was rapid fire, but I've got to show you this because I can't believe just asked this question. And that was what you said, because look at this sticky note. but Do you have the eye? I have sticky notes around my desk. And literally one of them is don't mistake the intermission for the Oh, that's so good. That's so good. Yeah, that's one of the lessons I teach in my keynote because it's it's so true. Every dream job, every cool opportunity, everything that has happened in my life that I was like, oh, this is it It'll never get better.
00:47:39
Speaker
it was an intermission that led to something i never saw coming that was even better. Yep. I love that one. I also love that that happened. So fun. Okay. Last one. You get to plan the dream like urban, like big city meets rural country event.
00:47:59
Speaker
What do you do? Ooh, yeah. I think it would be just maybe a... so Honestly, I think it's Fancy Lady Cowgirl. Maybe a different rendition of Fancy Lady Cowgirl, but I've kind of tried to do that, right? um I've had three sold-out events in Fort Worth, so you're still getting a little bit of the city. We have them at a luxury – you know, they've been at luxury hotels and some cool places.
00:48:19
Speaker
Because I really want the women to have that luxury, fancy experience. But then, you know, we the cowgirls roll in and and we have our our thing. So, yeah, I think, you know, Fancy Lady Cowgirl. And maybe, you know, maybe we add on. The dream would be like, you know, ah few days in Fort Worth and then we all get on a plane and like fly to a ranch or something really cool and have some like.
00:48:39
Speaker
you know, extended cool experience, you know, obviously be beyond probably a private jet. And it I mean, you said dream big. So like, I'm just putting this, just putting this out there. But I think that would be really cool, you know, to to go out and have like, do the speakers and all the things that I do, but then really have like an authentic experience. Maybe I'd take him back to Australia because that was a really, really cool experience. And we did something really similar in Australia to to that as well. We, you know, brought people in, had some Trainers come in, do some horsemanship, did some did a fashion show. you know The Dallas Down Under crew, the Snake Creek Cattle Company crew did a cool event as well. so
00:49:13
Speaker
Yeah, we're doing it. We're trying. Yeah, I love it. Okay, I feel like this whole podcast has kind of been this, but I've still got to ask you we love hot takes at AFA. So unconventional, bold opinions.
00:49:25
Speaker
What is your hot take about leadership or the future of agriculture?
Agriculture's Internal Conflicts
00:49:29
Speaker
my My controversial hot take opinion is that agriculture is oftentimes its own worst enemy. I see so much fighting within the agriculture industry, the different sectors, you know,
00:49:43
Speaker
I'm a rancher. I do it this way. You do it this way. I'm a farmer. You know, there's so much headbutting our own community that we are completely missing the boat when it comes to connecting to our consumers, right?
00:49:58
Speaker
we We go to conventions and we go to and we do all of these things and I go to these conventions and I sit in these rooms and we spend days talking about how are we going to connect with the consumer?
00:50:08
Speaker
And then I look around and like we're arguing amongst ourselves and I'm like, what are we doing? What are we doing? I think that agriculture, if we could ever figure out how to get all of the different sectors to work together for sort of the greater good. And I know this is like probably a pipe dream.
00:50:29
Speaker
But as an outsider, because I kind of consider myself an outsider because I live in the city, I interact with the consumer on a daily basis. I'm in the grocery stores with the consumers. I think if we could work together as a whole to share the ag story and spend less time butting heads with one another, i think the narrative and the trajectory of this industry would increase tenfold.
00:50:50
Speaker
So that's my hot take. Take it or leave it. Well, I will take it. We'll let our listeners add in their opinions.
Authenticity and Personal Presence
00:50:56
Speaker
Okay, Courtney, this has been so fun. Thank you so much. um If there is one thing that people ah take away from this podcast, what do you want it to be? oh I think don't be afraid to show up authentically as the person you were created to be.
00:51:10
Speaker
doesn't matter if other people get it. It doesn't matter if they understand you. Show up as the person you were created to be because you were created for a reason. That is a great place to end it. Courtney, thank you so much for joining us on the Cultivating Leaders podcast. And of course at AFA, we are all about building bridges.
00:51:27
Speaker
So where can people connect with you and learn more about the Fancy Lady Cowgirl? Yeah, so Instagram, TikTok is just Courtney D. Hoff. Courtney D. Hoff on Facebook, or you can visit my website at CourtneyDHoff.com. And it is spelled the French way E-N-A-Y because my mom thought that was a good idea, but you can find me just a quick Google.
00:51:44
Speaker
Well, thank you, Courtney. I'm sure you will hopefully get some new followers from this. I enjoyed our conversation. Hope everyone else did too. And that's a wrap on the Cultivating Leaders podcast. Thanks for listening to the Cultivating Leaders podcast brought to you by Agriculture Future of America.
00:52:00
Speaker
you've been here before, you know we value feedback as a gift. Please leave us a review and let us know how we're doing.