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Hat on, Hat off
11 Plays1 year ago
Is it okay to switch "hats" during a coaching session? This was a frequent topic during the early days of coaching. If we have advice to give a client, perhaps we can announce that we will take our "coaching hat" and put on a "consulting hat." In this episode, Elias addresses the fallacy of this practice and gives some insight into a much better approach.
#coachingskills #coachingmindset #coaching #ICF #beingHuman
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Transcript
Introduction to Prime Space Podcast
00:00:03
Speaker
Welcome to Prime Space, a Prime Coaching Academy podcast with your host, Elias Scultore.
00:00:13
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So hello, coaches.
00:00:16
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Which hat are you wearing right now?
Questioning Traditional Coaching Practices
00:00:22
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who might be thinking, Elias is crazy today.
00:00:26
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What is about hat, Elias?
00:00:28
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What are you talking about?
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We don't wear hats anymore.
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We rarely wear hats.
00:00:34
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What are you talking about, hats?
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Let me explain.
00:00:39
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Back then, there is a reason for me to talk about hats.
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Back when I started coaching, I was a kid.
00:00:48
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It was quite frequent to hear this idea of the coaching changing hats in the middle of the coaching conversation.
00:00:59
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And the idea here was that if you are in the middle of a coaching conversation and you have...
00:01:08
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an advice to give, you have a suggestion to give to the client, you have a thought to offer.
00:01:15
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Well, so then you announce to the client that you're going to take your coaching hat off and you're going to put your advisor, your consulting, your teaching hat, your mentoring hat on.
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You give whatever you need to give to the client and then you switch hats back.
00:01:33
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You know, this was quite prominent in coach training programs and mentor coaching, to tell you the truth.
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But this was back then, right?
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We, at that time, you know, we were still trying to standardize coaching.
Evolution of Coaching Standards
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We were even trying to find our own identity of coaching, our definition of coaching.
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And coaching has come a long way.
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A long way.
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And now we have standards of coaching.
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And now we have competencies.
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We have revised our competencies.
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We have created specific standards for the expectations of assessing and each level of competency of certification, ACC, PCC, MCC.
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We're much more clear of what we do.
00:02:28
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And we have come to realize that this idea of changing hats is not needed.
00:02:35
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There is no need for this idea of changing hats.
00:02:40
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This idea of changing hats, we have come to the realization that this is a cop-out.
00:02:46
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There is no excuse for changing hats.
00:02:49
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And usually if we feel compelled to change hats, it's probably because we are lacking in our coaching skills and our understanding of the core competencies, understanding of our standards of coaching.
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So let's go to our core competencies.
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Let's see what the core competencies say about this.
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If we go to competency number seven evokes awareness and standard number 11, it's very clear.
Awareness and Insight in Coaching
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Coaches share observations, insights, and feelings without attachment that have the potential to create new learning for the client.
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If we go even deeper and we look at the assessor's tools, the PCC markers,
00:03:38
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Mark 7.5 says very clearly, coach shares with no attachment observations, intuitions, comments, thoughts, or feelings, and invites the client's exploration through verbal or tone of invitation.
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These are skills that an assessor's
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an assessor assessing at PCC level is paying attention to see if the coach has the skill of sharing information.
00:04:05
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Coaches don't only use questions.
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We have more tools than questions.
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And sharing information is one of them.
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So the question is not that we cannot share information.
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In fact, the competencies even encourage us to share information.
00:04:22
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The question here, so there is no need for us to think about changing hats, right?
00:04:30
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The question here is how we are going to share the information.
00:04:37
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What is the mindset that we have behind when we are in the moment that we decide to share a piece of information with the client?
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What is the true motivation behind
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that we have behind the sharing.
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That's what we need to be mindful of because that is going to influence everything.
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How, the delivery, everything, every aspect of sharing information.
Client Exploration vs. Problem Solving
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At the core of coaching,
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At the core of the coaching mindset, we believe that our clients are resourceful.
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We believe that our clients are capable.
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That's not to say that clients have all the information that they need.
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That would be unreasonable, right?
00:05:28
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I'm a human being.
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My client is a human being as well.
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And as human beings, we are limited.
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We don't have resources for everything.
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We don't have answers for everything.
00:05:40
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And sometimes we put ourselves in a situation, we see ourselves in a moment that we are facing in our lives, particular context that we are in that perhaps we don't have all of the resources necessary for that particular moment.
00:05:57
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But coaching is not about that.
00:05:59
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Coaching is not about finding resources.
00:06:02
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Coaching is not solution-based.
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Coaching is exploration-based.
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It's discovery-based.
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That is what the coaching process is about.
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And that's what we need to understand as far as understanding the depth of the core competencies and understanding of the depth of the coaching mindset.
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Okay.
00:06:22
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Answers and solutions, yeah, they may come, but they are certainly not the focus of the coaching process.
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The coaching process is a process of exploration.
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Our job as coaches...
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or the skills that we bring to the coaching process is not related to how wise we are, how experienced we are, how much information we have, how able to solve a problem we are.
00:06:50
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This is not the skill of the coach.
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The skill of the coach is how well are we able to provide the client with the proper framework of the coaching conversation that will support them in their exploration.
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That is the skill of coaching.
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That is what coaching is.
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We provide the framework of the coaching process.
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We support the client into the structure of that coaching conversation that will support them in creating that space for discovery, that space for exploration, for self-exploration.
Humility in Sharing Insights
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So if we share with a sense of we are solving a problem, we are giving the answer, look how bright we are, look how good I am, we are missing the point.
00:07:43
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Because we are out of the purpose of what we do.
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Make sense?
00:07:50
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So it's not that we can or cannot do
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Share information or share something, a piece of information that we have or a thought or an idea that we have.
00:08:04
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It's not that we can or cannot.
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In coaching, it all depends.
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But what is crucial for us to be mindful of is what is propelling that moment.
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Remember, we are...
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As human beings, we oftentimes grow our sense of self and our sense of value based on what we know.
00:08:31
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We have this sense of identity based on who we are and the things that we have gathered throughout our lives.
00:08:40
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So it's very easy for us in the moment that we are relating to someone else, including when we are relating to our clients, to come with that sense that, oh, I need to show who I am.
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Here is my space.
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Here's what I have.
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These are the things that I know.
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And that will, if we are not careful, and that is the training that a coach goes through, will surpass the moment that is for the other.
00:09:12
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Coaching is not for me.
00:09:13
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Coaching is not about me.
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Coaching is not about what I know.
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Coaching is not about my wisdom.
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Coaching is not about all that I have gathered and all of the PhDs that I have on my wall and the 150 years of experience that I have in that particular topic.
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Coaching is not about that.
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Coaching is about the client.
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Coaching is about the client's moment for self-development and self-growth and building their self-awareness.
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We are there in a humble moment where we give ourselves to this other individual for them to go through that process of development.
00:09:57
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That is what is at the core of coaching.
00:10:01
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Of course, throughout the coaching process, the client is saying lots of things to us.
00:10:06
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We are receiving a lot of information from the client.
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And we are going to have responses.
00:10:12
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We are human beings, right?
00:10:14
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Of course, we are going to have responses.
00:10:17
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And if we didn't have these responses, I would be concerned because then, you know, perhaps we are kind of have become little robots.
00:10:27
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But we are human beings.
00:10:28
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We have responses.
00:10:29
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And sometimes these responses can be a beautiful contribution to the client's process.
00:10:38
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And that's when a coach shares that insight.
00:10:42
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That's when the coach shares that piece of information.
00:10:46
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But it's with a lot of humility, a lot of humility, a lot of care for the other.
00:10:54
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And it's a simple contribution that we offer for the clients to consider if it's valuable or if it's not valuable.
00:11:05
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We share with no attachments, as it says in the core competencies.
00:11:11
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The other thing that is important for us to be mindful with sharing information is the frequency.
00:11:17
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Because if we are relying on sharing information over and over and over again...
00:11:22
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And that may be something for us to be mindful of.
00:11:25
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We perhaps are relying too much on the information or the thoughts that are coming up for us and not truly being mindful of what is happening within the client.
00:11:38
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It
Facilitating Self-Exploration in Coaching
00:11:39
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may also be that when we feel the need to change hats and offer that brilliance that we may think we have inside of us, it may be that the coaching is a little bit on the surface.
00:11:57
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We are focused on an answer.
00:12:01
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We are focused on solving the problem.
00:12:04
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So perhaps when we see that eagerness to share that,
00:12:09
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perhaps it's a good moment for us to ask ourselves, what can I do here to support the client to go deeper?
00:12:20
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What is the next layer that I can?
00:12:23
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What is the question that I can offer that will bring the client deeper in the coaching conversation?
00:12:33
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So those are things for us to be mindful of.
00:12:37
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Instead of changing hats,
00:12:40
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Go deeper.
00:12:43
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If we still, after all of this consideration, after the self-awareness, that's why it's so important for a coach to continue to work in our self-awareness.
00:12:54
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If in our self-awareness, if after all of this consideration, we still feel that, okay, perhaps it's a good moment for me to share something with the client.
00:13:05
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Be mindful of how.
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No expectations.
00:13:10
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Just as a simple offering.
00:13:13
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No anything there, right?
00:13:15
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It's just a sincere and humble contribution to the client's process.
00:13:22
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No need to change hats.
00:13:24
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Stay in the coaching mindset, knowing that the value that we offer
00:13:32
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is not in solving a problem.
00:13:35
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But the value that we offer in coaching is in our ability to create this moment of self-exploration, examination, discovery, exploration that the client is doing.
00:13:50
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Okay?
00:13:51
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So I hope that is helpful.
00:13:53
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And please, I will be back next week, of course, with another episode.
00:13:58
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I think it's time to bring Amy back, right?
00:14:00
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I can't promise what's going to happen.
00:14:03
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But I'm feeling lonely here.
00:14:06
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I want Amy back in the conversation.
00:14:09
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Maybe Amy is going to come back next week.
00:14:11
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Let's see if we can make that happen.
Conclusion and Contact Information
00:14:13
Speaker
And don't forget to subscribe and don't forget to share these episodes with others.
00:14:19
Speaker
If you have any questions or if you want me to clarify any points, please contact me at Elias at PrimeCoachingAcademy.com.
00:14:29
Speaker
And I would love to hear from you and your thoughts on this episode.
00:14:34
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Okay, everybody.
00:14:35
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So I will see you next time.
00:14:37
Speaker
Take care, everybody.