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Let's Get Real
23 Plays4 hours ago
Let’s get real about coaching in the real world.
In this episode of PRIME SPACE, Elias Scultori, MCC, tackles a common tension coaches face: the gap between the coaching mindset we’re trained in and the results-driven reality our clients demand.
“Clients want results—and they want them fast.”
But does that mean coaching doesn’t work in high-pressure, executive, organizational environments?
Building on last week’s conversation about coaching mindset, Elias explores why problem-solving, quick fixes, and jumping into expert mode often create the illusion of effectiveness while quietly undermining real transformation.
This episode is a candid invitation to rethink what clients are really asking for, how coaches unintentionally dilute their value, and why holding space, not providing answers, is often the most impactful work we can do.
You’ll hear a clear, grounded exploration of:
- Why coaching is not utopian theory, but a practical, real-world discipline
- The difference between coaching, consulting, mentoring, and training, and why ethics matter
- How “emergencies” can pull coaches out of presence and into performance
- What it truly means to embody a coaching mindset under pressure
This episode is essential listening for coaches who want to stop negotiating their mindset, deepen their skills, and build sustainable, impactful practices—without abandoning the core of coaching.
⏱️Episode Chapters
00:14 – Coaching Mindset Meets Reality
02:58 – Is Coaching Mindset Just Utopia?
05:07 – The Illusion of Effectiveness
06:19 – When Coaching Isn’t the Right Modality
08:35 – Emergencies and the “Building on Fire” Moment
0:02 – The Real Reason Coaches Rush to Solve
12:10 – Educating Clients 13:34 – The Road Less Traveled
Recommended
Transcript
Introduction to Prime Space Podcast
00:00:02
Speaker
Welcome to Prime Space, a Prime Coaching Academy podcast with your host, Elias Scultori. Coaches, I hope you had the time to listen to last week's episode when i talk about coaching mindset and the foundational concepts of coaching mindset.
00:00:31
Speaker
If you have not had the opportunity to listen to that episode, episode I would encourage you to press the pause button, go listen, and then come back.
Theory vs. Practice in Coaching
00:00:42
Speaker
Because today's episode, it's going to be a continuation of the conversation I had last week.
00:00:51
Speaker
Every time i talk about coaching mindset, coaches come to me and say, el eli is Great topic Love this idea of the coaching mindset Love this idea of coaching is client-centered The client is resourceful Coaching is transformational It is about developing the person It's not about finding solutions or solving problems It's about the discovery process Love that However
00:01:27
Speaker
In practicality, Elias, my clients want results. And they want results fast. They come to coaching because they have a problem and they want to solve the problem.
00:01:41
Speaker
They don't want to reflect. They want answers.
Understanding the Human Element in Organizations
00:01:45
Speaker
I work with executives. They don't have the time for self-discovery. This is ICF stuff. This is pure coaching. In the real world, it doesn't work.
00:01:58
Speaker
I need to solve problems. And I always chuckle a little bit when I hear that. And at the same time, i feel I feel a bit sad to see this push and pull some coaches experience between these wonderful concepts they admire and they heard so much about in coach training and the reality of their practices.
00:02:27
Speaker
Is this coaching mindset just mumbo-jumbo? Is this just utopia? Or is this something real that can be fully embodied in the real world?
00:02:43
Speaker
So I would like to start talking about this by addressing this concept of the problem, the issue, this quagmire that the client may have and may bring to the coaching conversation.
00:02:58
Speaker
What is the real issue? What is the real problem?
00:03:05
Speaker
It's so easy for us to get caught in that that story, in the story that the client is bringing to us, in that problem, the details, the emergency of things.
00:03:20
Speaker
especially when we are working in organizations or when we are working for clients that are in an organizational setting, we have to remember organizations are not made of processes and procedures. Organizations are made of people.
00:03:39
Speaker
And 99% of the time, there is a story, there is ah ah an issue, but if we look closely What is really happening there, what is really behind that issue is the people, the person behind those stories.
00:04:03
Speaker
However, yes, that leader, that client is overwhelmed, overtaken by that situation. Nowadays, every employee is overworked.
00:04:18
Speaker
And yes, it seems that they don't have the time to self-reflect. There is a problem here and we need to solve it.
00:04:29
Speaker
A coach may go. and try to solve that apparent problem. The client is going to feel great, the coach's ego is going to be satisfied because apparently it seems that we brought value to the process.
00:04:51
Speaker
But if we do that, the real growth, the real development, the real issue was not truly addressed.
00:05:03
Speaker
So what happens in that situation? Well, just wait a little bit because another very similar issue is going to surface again and again and again.
Distinguishing Coaching from Other Approaches
00:05:20
Speaker
in other words, with that attempt to be efficient, to solve the problem right there, to coming up with a solution with the instant gratification that that gave us, we actually end up being less efficient, less impactful, and providing mediocre service and value to the client.
00:05:47
Speaker
By relying in on our knowledge and experience, the toys that we may have in our toolbox, we actually just created the illusion of effectiveness,
00:05:59
Speaker
But that is only it, right? that An illusion. Because the critical points were never truly explored.
00:06:10
Speaker
Because the critical points are internal to that individual and personal.
00:06:19
Speaker
So how do we realistically navigate a situation where yes, the client is coming and not ready for this level of exploration.
00:06:34
Speaker
A couple of things for us to consider. Sometimes the person is not ready for coaching, and that's totally okay. Sometimes the situation that the client presents, it's not really um a matter of of coaching in that particular moment.
00:06:50
Speaker
Sometimes the client what the client needs is a consultant, is a mentor, is a trainer. So first of all, do we know the difference? Do we clearly know the difference between coaching, consultancy, mentoring, training? Because there is a very clear difference between all of these four modalities.
00:07:12
Speaker
So first is for us as coaches, the professional, to be very clear about what what this is and what the client is asking for. And then if we have the skills to provide what the client is asking. Okay, they're asking for some consultancy. Let me be the consultant. Let me label this process as a consulting process. Let me label this process as a mentoring process. Let me label this process as a training process. And offer to the client what the client is asking for instead of masking it with coaching and then marking the waters.
00:07:52
Speaker
And actually not even being ethically sound with the client because we are offering something that is not what we agreed upon. So let's be clear.
00:08:04
Speaker
What is the need right now? What is the need for this situation?
Handling Emergencies in Coaching
00:08:10
Speaker
And if I am able to provide those services, let me provide those services but be true to what is the service that I am providing to the client.
00:08:21
Speaker
Another situation is that sometimes the building is on fire. There is an emergency. And in that emergency, like we can't just sit down and and think like, okay, what is the source of this fire? What are we going to do to make sure that this fire doesn't happen again? no the building is on fire. We need to address this immediately.
00:08:44
Speaker
But that does not necessarily mean, and that is the distinction here that we need to be mindful of, that does not necessarily mean that if there is an emergency that I am going to immediately provide my expertise.
00:09:01
Speaker
Remember, our clients, especially when we are dealing with executives and high-level managers in an organization, they are experts.
00:09:14
Speaker
Hopefully they didn't get their job just because of their looks. They earned it. And that's when I get concerned. Because oftentimes coaches jump in too quickly in providing answers and expertise and knowledge.
00:09:34
Speaker
but actually they are cannibalizing the process and stealing from the client the opportunity for them to take ownership and resolve the situation.
00:09:47
Speaker
We crowd the space with our own stuff, with our own need to provide value, and we don't even give the space for the client to do their work.
00:10:02
Speaker
Often when coaches jump in too quickly and stay in the problem-solving mode, it's not about the client. It is because we lack the skills and and the commitment to deepen our own understanding of the core proposition of coaching and what the coaching mindset is all about.
00:10:26
Speaker
We use the client's emergencies and the client's lack of time as an excuse for us not to develop our own coaching skills. Oh, the client asked for that.
00:10:39
Speaker
They wanted a strategy. They wanted tips and answers. They wanted to hear my perspective, so I gave the client what they asked for. Isn't coaching client-centered? And then I ask, where is your listening?
00:10:59
Speaker
The client may have asked for that, but was that what the client was really looking for? What did you do to open the door for the client to see the situation more clearly, to see themselves more clearly through their own resources? What was the invitation for serious work?
00:11:23
Speaker
Not simply building strategies, but raising real awareness.
00:11:29
Speaker
What did you do in that moment to raise the bar for the client?
00:11:37
Speaker
And to me, that is what coach training is all about. Supporting each coach to first learn the power and the value of this mindset I talked about last week. But second, to have the skills not only to ask a powerful question or to establish a session agreement,
00:11:58
Speaker
but especially to hold the space, to keep the door open for the client to see the value of this work.
00:12:10
Speaker
In coaching, we need to provide a lot of education to our clients on an ongoing basis. And education does not mean that we are going to be talking about coaching and or what coaching is or is not.
00:12:23
Speaker
that We sometimes do this at the beginning of a coaching process. But on an ongoing basis, education happens. In that moment when we hold the space, we remain silent.
00:12:39
Speaker
We give the client the opportunity to step up. The moment we remain curious rather than relying on knowledge.
00:12:54
Speaker
This is a coaching skill in itself, dancing in the moment, supporting and meeting the client where they are, but not falling into the lure of, I know.
00:13:08
Speaker
Look how good I am by providing you with this solution, with this knowledge.
00:13:16
Speaker
because we know that the best value we can offer
Fostering Client Self-Discovery
00:13:20
Speaker
our clients is the space and the opportunity to see themselves more clearly so they can choose how they want to proceed.
00:13:34
Speaker
That is the challenge for us to develop the skills of listening, presence, language, so that we can dance with our clients always holding firm to the core concept of our coaching mindset.
00:13:53
Speaker
That is where we can provide the best value to our clients and that is where we will best succeed in our coaching practices.
00:14:05
Speaker
Amy here at Prime Coaching Academy, Amy Donovan, she always says that clients come for the what, but they stay for the who. In other words, clients come with problems.
00:14:23
Speaker
Clients come with situations. But if we open the door for them to take a closer look at who they are, what is truly happening inside, how they are relating to their context, they will want nothing else.
00:14:41
Speaker
And this is going to help the sustainability of our practice.
00:14:50
Speaker
This invitation, this opening the door for the client, this holding this coaching mindset, this is the road less traveled. We as coaches are invited and challenged to take in every conversation we have with our clients.
00:15:10
Speaker
That is the innovative and the disruptive aspect of coaching.
Episode Conclusion
00:15:17
Speaker
And so let's not dilute this practice by jumping in too quickly with knowledge.
00:15:26
Speaker
Let's instead commit to polishing first our understanding of this mindset and then our skills in presenting it to our clients.
00:15:41
Speaker
So I will leave you with that for today. Thank you so much for listening. I would love to hear your thoughts on what I'm sharing here at Prime Space. Don't forget to subscribe and to share this with other coaches.
00:15:57
Speaker
And I will see you next time. Take care.