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The Myth of "By-the-Book" Coach
57 Plays19 days ago
Is a coach automatically “good” just because they follow the rules? In this episode of PRIME SPACE, Elias Scultori continues the Coaching Myths Uncovered series by challenging the belief that flawless technique alone defines coaching excellence.
Elias explores why rules and competencies, while essential, are only the framework—and not the essence—of coaching. He introduces the balance of Form and Flow, explains the Japanese concept of Shu-ha-ri as a path toward mastery, and highlights the risks of relying solely on technique without depth.
Listeners will gain insight into:
- Why coaching is a balance between art and science
- How to move beyond “checking boxes” to embody the essence of standards
- The importance of reflective practice in balancing form and flow
- Common habits and excuses that derail growth
- The ongoing journey of mastery every coach must commit to
If you’ve ever wondered whether playing strictly “by the book” makes for a great coach—or if there’s something more—this conversation will challenge your thinking and deepen your practice.
Watch the "Coaching Myths Uncovered" event on YouTube.
Recommended
Transcript
Introduction to Prime Space Podcast
00:00:03
Speaker
Welcome to PRIME SPACE a PRIME Coaching Academy podcast with your host, Elias Scultori.
Debunking Myths in Coaching
00:00:14
Speaker
Coaches, today I'm going to continue with the series Coaching Myths Uncovered.
00:00:22
Speaker
If you are a regular listener to PRIME SPACE you know that once in a while I have this these episodes that talk about these myths that perhaps we have created in our coaching community and that it's important for us to take a closer look at them all of these myths come from ah an event that Amy and i ah gave a few months ago and I decided to expand a little bit more here during PRIME SPACE we have this myth and I believe that we have two more to go and so hopefully by the end of this season three
00:01:04
Speaker
We are going to have covered all of these myths.
Beyond Rules: The Art of Coaching
00:01:08
Speaker
The myth that I would love to talk about today is the idea of if a coach follows the rules, if a coach knows the rules, if a coach is able to demonstrate all of the core competencies, all of the markers, all of the bars, oh, that coach is a good coach.
00:01:26
Speaker
That coach is an excellent coach. That's a myth. and Not necessarily so. And simply because technique alone is not enough, especially in an activity, a process that is human-centered.
00:01:48
Speaker
And this is what coaching is. i keep saying coaching is a human-to-human experience. So because we are working with a human being, There are so many nuances, subtleties, insights and intuitions and perceptions that happen in every coaching conversation that just following the rules and in having flawless technique does not necessarily mean that that coach is really able to ah have a good command of that session.
00:02:25
Speaker
and be able to provide the best value that yeah that particular moment can create. This is something to be very mindful of. We are so focused in coach training on the rules and the and the competencies and the bars and the markers that sometimes we miss that nuance of the human-to-human interaction.
00:02:51
Speaker
That's why we say that coaching is an art form.
Balancing Technique and Client Engagement
00:02:55
Speaker
There is an art to coaching that goes way beyond the rules. And this is the journey and the the commitment of a coach, a coaching training specifically, but a coach in general.
00:03:11
Speaker
It's this balancing act between form and flow. And I spoke about the form and flow many times here, Prime Space, and I always say that we are always striving for both.
00:03:26
Speaker
We are always striving for a balance between form and flow. If we are too much on form... It's not good. If we are in too much on flow and forgetting the form, it's not good either.
00:03:38
Speaker
So as a coach, we want to be right there in that balance. Why is technique not enough? Well, because if we are focused on the rules and if we are present to the rules and if all our objective is simply to check the check the markers and follow you know the the the the guidelines,
00:04:02
Speaker
ah We are present to the guidelines. We are present. We are committed to following the rules. And that actually will take away from us to be present to our clients.
00:04:16
Speaker
So rules are not enough. Rules are something in all of the technique and all of the concepts of coaching and all of the competencies and all of the the bars and all that we learn in coach training.
00:04:29
Speaker
These are part of the framework of coaching that needs to be in the background supporting the coach in that particular moment. I hear a lot of coaches. I am in ah ah an assessor for the ICF.
00:04:45
Speaker
And a lot of times, a lot of times, I receive these recordings to assess where the coach is checking all the markers and following all of the steps.
00:04:57
Speaker
And I am collecting evidence and checking the checking the markers. But at the end, i have that sense like, yeah, this person probably is going to pass the PCC exam, ah but this session is completely insipid and there isn't much of ah an essence and the value yeah is missing here because that recording was simply made to pass the the exam.
00:05:27
Speaker
But that coach lacked to understand the essence and the core of what these rules are about. And this is what I called you for. what This is my my challenge for you.
00:05:41
Speaker
It's not simply for you to simply understand the rules but it's for you and and be able to demonstrate the rules, but it's for you and for all of us as coaches to understand what is behind these competencies, what is what is behind these standards.
00:05:58
Speaker
Because these standards were created for a reason and there are core concepts that are behind these standards, that that is more important for us to understand and for us to hold on and to absorb than simply following step one, two, and three, and four.
00:06:21
Speaker
The reason why I say this is because in the moment when you are with your client, some of these rules, if we apply some of these rules literally, they are not going to work.
00:06:35
Speaker
They're going to fall flat. And then what happens is that if if a coach simply learns the rules but does not learn the essence of of what that rule is about, then the coach starts giving up on these rules, putting leaving those these rules behind, creating different habits,
00:06:56
Speaker
There are perhaps even against the essence of coaching because there is no understanding of the essence of the rules. And they realize that in the moment when they are in reality, when they are having that conversation with the with ah client, it doesn't apply.
00:07:13
Speaker
and then they don't know what to do because they don't have that... depth of understanding of the standards for them to be flexible and play in the moment according to what the client is bringing to the conversation.
00:07:29
Speaker
That is the art of coaching. I know the rules. I understand the standards, but i not only understand the standards as they are black and white on a piece of paper, but I understand the essence and the depth of these standards so that I can play in the moment with my client according to what the client is bringing to that conversation.
00:07:56
Speaker
That's why we say a Prime Coaching Academy that coaching is simple but not easy because you look at these rules and it's very easy. I can share with you the rules of coaching and the standards of coaching in a sit-down conversation.
00:08:15
Speaker
It's simple, but being able to understand the depth of these standards and be able to dance in the moment with the client is a different story.
Mastery in Coaching: Shu Ha Ri Explained
00:08:25
Speaker
And that is our learning and that is our training.
00:08:29
Speaker
One concept that my colleague and friend, Amy Rupert, shares a lot when we are talking about this and she shared in the ah Coaching Myths Uncovered event that we had a few months ago is the concept of shuhari.
00:08:49
Speaker
Shuhari is a concept that comes from Japanese martial arts, especially Aikido.
00:08:57
Speaker
And even though we say shuhari, it's actually three words. And it it describes the three stages of mastery, the three the three stages of learning and developing and being experts in a particular craft.
00:09:13
Speaker
Shu is the beginning stage where students follow the teachings and the techniques. They concentrate on how to do the task and do the task well.
00:09:27
Speaker
They remain faithful to these forms with no deviation. They do the drills over and over and over and over again. They are focused on understanding the technique in itself.
00:09:39
Speaker
This is what we do. That's shu. That's the initial stage. Then you have ha. Ha is the second stage. Once the student embodies these practices, then they are able to begin to explore and incorporate the underlying principles and theory behind the technique.
00:10:04
Speaker
They begin to realize and they begin to reflect upon the the assets. what Why? why are we doing Why are we doing this? Why do they say that this is so important? They begin to have a deeper understanding.
00:10:17
Speaker
And with have a deeper understanding of the the rules and the standards and the technique, they begin to experiment and innovate differently.
00:10:27
Speaker
And then Ri is when all of this technique and these concepts are so ingrained in the person. The Ri is the third stage, right?
00:10:38
Speaker
When this is so ingrained in the person, the this the that practitioner, haven then the capacity Then they have the capacity to let go, to release.
00:10:54
Speaker
And they develop their own approaches and apply what they've learned to their own specific circumstances, following their instincts,
00:11:06
Speaker
without ever having to overstep the principles and this this final part is so crucial when we let go of the of the of this focus on the technique it does not mean that we are going to let go of the technique that we are going to let go of the the the the concepts the standards on the contrary because we have done the drills, because we have understood what these standards and concepts are so about so much about, we are able to open, release, because we trust that these concepts are so ingrained in us that we then are able to put ourselves, follow our instincts,
00:11:52
Speaker
And knowing that these instincts are still in complete alignment with the standards. Such a beautiful concept, this shuhari. There is a progress, and this is the progress that we are all in, all of us as coaches are in.
00:12:09
Speaker
So here are the things for you to keep in mind. Be very mindful of where you are on the journey because you may be still in shoe.
00:12:23
Speaker
So if you are still in Shu it's not yet time for you to release, to let go. Because if you let go right now, you're going to start creating habits that are not going to bring you to that level of mastery.
00:12:36
Speaker
So if you are in Shu and if you're mindful that you're in Shu, just stay drilling the the standards and getting to know the standards. If you are in Shoe, perhaps it's time for you to to start going into the ha.
00:12:52
Speaker
What is behind? Be curious. Why are we doing this? How does this work in this particular moment? and what is What are the things that I can adapt for this particular moment, but I am still doing the drills?
00:13:06
Speaker
And then if you are in Ri and if you can really see that, oh, now I can relax, I can let go, i can release, then you go into that space. But be very mindful, don't rush the process, because if you rush the process, especially in our um martial arts, right? ah You're going to get beaten up.
Reflective Practice and Continuous Learning
00:13:28
Speaker
So stay in the in this in the level that you are and do that level well so that you can progress and progress successfully. Notice the balance between form and flow. It's not either one or the other.
00:13:43
Speaker
And we all have tendencies to be either in form or in flow. So it's something for us to be mindful of our own tendencies and make sure that we are all using the reflective practice for us to regulate and see if we can find a balance between these two these two parts, form and flow.
00:14:03
Speaker
Be careful with habits and excuses. Oh, this is so easy. oh yes, no, the I didn't get a good session agreement in this session because my my client was not ready for it. Is that really true or is it because you didn't have the the skills to create a good coaching agreement there?
00:14:21
Speaker
ah So be be mindful of the excuses. Oh, my client asked for my opinion, so I had to to share with them. Well, is it true or is it because you didn't quite know how to handle that particular moment?
00:14:35
Speaker
So be mindful of the the habits and excuses because they can cloud this process. And the the final ah point that I would like to give you here is commit to the process.
00:14:48
Speaker
Commit to the process because it's a worthwhile process and a wonderful process and ongoing process, ongoing learning. We are never done. This is something that we are always doing the practice. We are always ah practicing and experimenting.
00:15:05
Speaker
And this is this is the journey that we have as coaches, a wonderful journey with wonderful results, especially when we are in front of that other human being.
Conclusion & Call to Action
00:15:16
Speaker
So there you have some thoughts for you to think about this idea of the by the book coach. There is a lot more than just following standards.
00:15:29
Speaker
And I appreciate and I'm very grateful that you're committed to this process. Let me know what you think of this conversation here and this these ideas that I said to you. Please ah subscribe and share this episode with others.
00:15:48
Speaker
And I will see you next time. Take care, everybody.