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Stay Sparked #35 "Embracing Shadows"
6 Plays2 years ago
What is the Shadow? How do you do "Shadow Work?" Do you battle it or learn to love it? What is the benefit of integrating one's shadow?
HOSTS
BETSY FINKLEHOO is a healer of massage therapy, CranioSacral and Dharma Coaching. She is an 8 year burner and has spent the last several years seeped in the personal development world, cultivating her passion for transformation and growth. Her recent project, The Power Affirmation Journal and virtual group empowers women to cultivate self awareness and healthy habits so they can live in greater freedom, mind body and spirit.
http://poweraffirmation.com/
Click here to get a FREE affirmation for Stay Sparked Listeners!
HALCYON is full-time Love Ambassador. He is the founder of Hug Nation YouTube channel and daily zoom gratitude circles. He is co-founder of the Pink Heart Burning Man camp and the 1st Saturdays project for people experiencing homelessness. In his free time he coaches individuals on how to live joyfully and authentically. His other podcast is "Hard on the 80's."
http://JohnStyn.com
JANUS REDMOON is a 10-time Burner, and has spent the last several years as an advocate for psychedelic medicine research and treatment. He is the founder and CEO of NuWorld Nutritionals, a nutritional supplement company providing mushroom-based, all-natural products to improve and maintain health for both body and mind. (Use code "SPARKED" for 10% off)
http://www.nuworldnutritionals.com
MASSIVE Thank you to Dub Sutra for their beautiful opening music. Check out their incredible music catalogue online.
https://dubsutra.com
Recommended
Transcript
Introduction & Episode Focus
00:00:02
Speaker
Welcome to Stay Sparked.
00:00:04
Speaker
On this show, we explore how to stay inspired in the modern world through the most profound lessons from Burning Man, relationships, entrepreneurship, psychedelics, spirituality, travel, and more.
00:00:17
Speaker
On this episode, we talk about our shadows.
00:00:21
Speaker
We talk about how the dark side helps us to learn more about who we are.
00:00:26
Speaker
And we talk about how being vulnerable is what leads us to growth and getting stronger.
00:00:33
Speaker
Enjoy the episode.
Host Introductions & Gratitude Moments
00:00:37
Speaker
Hello and welcome to Stay Sparked.
00:00:40
Speaker
We are three longtime friends who have been lighting each other up for over a decade and we love sharing these sparks with all of you.
00:00:47
Speaker
Thank you so much for listening.
00:00:49
Speaker
We have been so appreciating all of the reviews coming in because those reviews help us spread these sparks farther and wider.
00:00:57
Speaker
So we really appreciate you guys taking a moment to give us some five stars and little reviews.
00:01:02
Speaker
It's like little love notes.
00:01:03
Speaker
So thank you so much.
00:01:05
Speaker
I'm Betsy.
00:01:07
Speaker
I'm Halcyon.
00:01:08
Speaker
And I am Yannis.
00:01:10
Speaker
I am the founder and creator of the Power Affirmation Project and a holistic healing arts practitioner.
00:01:16
Speaker
I am the host of the Hug Nation YouTube channel and daily gratitude circles.
00:01:20
Speaker
I'm the founder and CEO of New World Nutritionals, a newly appointed love ambassador and a soon to be first time dad.
00:01:30
Speaker
Amazing.
00:01:31
Speaker
So we always love starting these conversations with gratitude.
00:01:35
Speaker
So Giannis, what are you grateful for today?
00:01:39
Speaker
I am grateful that we were based here in Southern California and we had our first ever big tropical storm morning that, you know, I was coming through.
00:01:49
Speaker
So it was all this, all this talk for the last few days, batten down the hatches and get ready and so on and so forth.
00:01:55
Speaker
And it turned out to be not that big of a deal.
00:01:58
Speaker
And I'm kind of, I'm definitely grateful for that because I was, all sorts of stuff can come with, we've had some pretty, you know, major storms that come through and there's a lot of cleanup involved and such.
00:02:08
Speaker
and i'm grateful that there was a lot of much ado about almost nothing so i'm grateful that mother nature took it easy on us this weekend my gratitude uh this week is for actually the sky falling uh i went to see the meteor shower up in the big sur mountains and it was uh i'd never seen a meteor shower with that limited light pollution
00:02:33
Speaker
and the sky was just so amazing and before this the shooting stars started and then you know several dozen stars i saw it was just so magical uh to be kind of out in nature i actually was outside three nights the first night rained on us and the second night was super foggy and then the third night it all came together and with a beautiful shooting star symphony and above us so super grateful for that experience
00:03:02
Speaker
So good.
00:03:04
Speaker
I'll share my gratitude for the amazing projects that I'm seeing so many of my friends that are putting out into the world.
00:03:11
Speaker
I think I have like three or four right now that have Kickstarters that are just really amazing projects.
00:03:18
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It's so inspiring.
00:03:19
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It's just so wonderful to feel.
00:03:21
Speaker
It's just my dear friends and people that I don't know also just really putting their work out in the world.
00:03:28
Speaker
And just, I just feel really grateful to be witness to some really amazing projects that are coming to life.
00:03:35
Speaker
And also really grateful that I get to support them as well by contributing to those, those Kickstarters that are out there.
00:03:41
Speaker
Nice.
Exploring Shadow Concepts & Carl Jung's Influence
00:04:01
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The dark side.
00:04:03
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Oftentimes we're here sharing sparks of inspiration and light.
00:04:07
Speaker
And we wanted to explore a conversation that is very important that has to do with going into those darker elements and how do we navigate that.
00:04:16
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our own personal shadows, what is our relationship to the dark side of our own experience of the world.
00:04:25
Speaker
And so yeah, I'd love to start us off with an inquiry.
00:04:29
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Perception of shadow.
00:04:31
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What is shadow to you?
00:04:32
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What does that mean to you guys?
00:04:36
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Um, for me, the, the definition of shadow would be kind of like that elements of us that tend to lean towards, uh, for want of a better term, like the negativity, uh, towards like, okay, so negative emotions that are, that we might harbor, such as let's say jealousy or envy or, um, just, just, you know, viewing like aspects of, uh,
00:05:03
Speaker
You know, the critic, the inner critic that sometimes is the outer critic, the need for us or the desire for us to, like, look at others and criticize their way they're showing up in the world.
00:05:17
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The aspects of also self-criticism.
00:05:19
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They ask, you know, I'm not good enough.
00:05:20
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I'm not...
00:05:22
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Smart enough.
00:05:22
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I'm all this other stuff.
00:05:24
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So for me, that is the, you know, that, that is what constitutes elements of the shadow.
00:05:30
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Certainly not comprehensive, but that's, that's what comes up for me initially when you ask, when, when I make that inquiry.
00:05:36
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Yeah.
00:05:37
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Yeah.
00:05:37
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I think about it as the parts of yourself that you don't like.
00:05:42
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The parts of yourself that are hard to accept that you almost sometimes are at war with.
00:05:48
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And sometimes I remember early hearing Carl Jung talking about that everyone has shadow impulses, shadow thoughts.
00:06:01
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and we do a disservice by trying to suppress it you know and that the shadow impulses and shadow desires and shadow thoughts are coming from the same well as creative expression and insight in this collective unconscious and so if we try to inhibit or limit the negativity that is coming through us we can't help but limit the positivity and the insight and the creativity as well and so
00:06:27
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trying to create a relationship and an acceptance of the shadow is, is critical to being fully expressed and fully authentic.
00:06:36
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Yeah.
00:06:38
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I think of it as these aspects that we can't see, you know, it's like, for me, the exploration around what is the shadow is usually in my blind spots.
00:06:50
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You know, we all have blind spots and there's different parts of myself that I can't
00:06:54
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quite see.
00:06:56
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Maybe there's a light shining on my front and then I turn around and I'm trying to see there's something dark back there, but I can't quite see it.
00:07:03
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So I personally have been on this really interesting exploration around what are those darker shadowy places of myself that are ready to transform and that I can start to look at.
00:07:16
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And I love this conversation too, because it is the shadow can really inform us
00:07:22
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so much, it can help us to grow.
00:07:25
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And sometimes there's this like, you know, rejection of those shadowy aspects of ourselves, which makes it even more difficult to love ourselves.
00:07:36
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And so to be able to get into a place of seeing that, oh, this, these aspects of myself that I don't necessarily like might actually be here to teach me something if I'm willing to see what they might be
00:07:47
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here to teach me so you know halcyon you have been really beautifully um expressed in your relationship to some of your shadow um your process online you know if anyone follows john halcyon online you have had an opportunity to probably be inspired by some of the um just real deep reveal of who you are and oftentimes online
00:08:14
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you know, people want to just show their pretty selves and the most like wonderful, positive things.
00:08:19
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But you've really done a great job of being able to say like, this is all of me.
00:08:23
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So I'm curious around how has that been for you?
00:08:26
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And what some of the feedback that you've been getting in allowing this these aspects of yourself to be seen?
00:08:32
Speaker
Yeah, it's I think you really you mentioned social media and the tendency for people to just show their highlight reels.
00:08:39
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And I think it's a really dangerous thing when people are comparing themselves to the best of everyone.
00:08:45
Speaker
And then the reality is everyone has shadows.
00:08:49
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Everyone has these parts themselves they don't like, these parts they can't see, these aspects that are
00:08:55
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that are tough to face.
00:08:57
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And because we don't see it in others in this online world, we have this added pain of judging ourselves and feeling like we're broken.
00:09:07
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There's something wrong with us.
00:09:08
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And being a whole person means that you have these aspects to you.
00:09:13
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And so the reason why I've been trying to be as transparent as possible is because I think it needs to be seen.
00:09:21
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And I think that there are times when I celebrate my triumphs.
00:09:24
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There are times when I'm
00:09:26
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my self-love.
00:09:27
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I think I share things where I show myself to be a pretty damn awesome person.
00:09:31
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And for that to have any meaning, I think it also has to include the other parts of me.
00:09:39
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So that like, I'm not someone who's just kicking ass every day and never wavering.
00:09:45
Speaker
I'm a person who has huge insights and epiphanies and love filled experiences.
00:09:50
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And then I have crushing self-doubt and
Authenticity & Shadows on Social Media
00:09:53
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depression and
00:09:55
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struggles.
00:09:56
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And that doesn't make me any less wonderful of a person.
00:10:01
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It means that I'm a complete person.
00:10:02
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And so I think my experience has been as I've shared that, the response has been incredible.
00:10:08
Speaker
I think there's a feeling when I first started sharing that stuff online, there was this feeling of, are people going to use this against me?
00:10:15
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Are people going to judge me?
00:10:17
Speaker
And I think the opposite is, has happened where the more that I have revealed that is less than ideal, the more I feel people can see who I really am.
00:10:28
Speaker
And then the love flows even, even stronger.
00:10:31
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It's kind of like, you know, that's what the cracks are where the love gets in.
00:10:34
Speaker
And I think the shadow can be the cracks if you, if you, if you own them.
00:10:39
Speaker
There's a relatability, a relatability to that also.
00:10:42
Speaker
Totally.
00:10:43
Speaker
You know, because...
00:10:44
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allow your shadowy aspects to be seen, then it's like, oh, wow.
00:10:49
Speaker
Okay.
00:10:50
Speaker
Wow.
00:10:50
Speaker
Yeah.
00:10:50
Speaker
I feel that way too.
00:10:51
Speaker
Okay.
00:10:52
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I'm not alone.
00:10:53
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I've experienced that too in the women's groups that I lead and participate in.
00:10:58
Speaker
You know, the power affirmation process is not only about using affirmations.
00:11:03
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It's about going into some of those belief systems and thought patterns that are negative and that, you know, we all have these questions about who we are and just, you know,
00:11:14
Speaker
limiting beliefs and when we can go into them and let them be seen then what i've watched happen is if one woman shares like wow i actually feel really i don't i don't feel worthy of love for example it's a common one then another person sees this woman and goes oh my god what
00:11:31
Speaker
i always thought you were like the most confident person and and like wow you actually have you know stories too oh my god okay i'm not alone and then she feels seen and she goes okay okay yeah you know what i'm not alone either and i can actually start to release that story because i can get it out and it feels seen and there's compassion so it's really so powerful to see that we all have these different belief systems that we're getting to work through yeah and we mentioned um
00:12:00
Speaker
Carl Jung, the psychologist who's kind of famous for focusing on examining people's shadows, examining our shadows.
00:12:09
Speaker
His last name, for those who don't know, is spelled J-U-N-G.
00:12:13
Speaker
So if you ever want to kind of dive into that, which I think we all kind of recommend,
00:12:18
Speaker
There's some gold in there for us.
00:12:21
Speaker
I don't mean to interrupt you, but I need to tell you that my first personalized license plate was young at heart, J-U-N-G, at heart symbol.
00:12:29
Speaker
Okay, sorry, keep going.
00:12:31
Speaker
No, that's cool.
00:12:32
Speaker
That's fun.
00:12:33
Speaker
That's fun.
00:12:35
Speaker
But one of his quotes is, I'll just go ahead and read it, is, by not being aware of having a shadow, you declare a part of your personality to be non-existent.
00:12:46
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So,
00:12:47
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The sooner that we become comfortable with that there's an aspect of our personalities that we might not like, that's kind of the step.
00:13:02
Speaker
That's the first step towards being able to incorporate that into our lives, that acknowledgement.
00:13:08
Speaker
Like, okay, yeah, there's an aspect of my personality that is a little bit dark.
00:13:13
Speaker
Okay, so what do I do with that?
00:13:16
Speaker
That's, that's the first step of learning how to kind of incorporate that into, um, into our, our lives in such a way that we become conscious of it.
00:13:25
Speaker
We become aware of it.
00:13:26
Speaker
We are able to, um,
00:13:29
Speaker
process it and then at certain points of our lives when it's appropriate to overcome that and for me with a good a big part of my process was we talked about before on ayahuasca and um diving into one of those one of those ceremonies for me was diving into that shadow aspect of myself and
00:13:51
Speaker
getting the download that we don't necessarily, it's not something we necessarily need to become aware of so that we can banish it.
00:13:59
Speaker
It's not about eliminating these elements of our personality.
00:14:04
Speaker
It is about
00:14:06
Speaker
incorporating them and to realize that, okay, sometimes I can be a bit of a judgmental asshole.
00:14:13
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Sometimes I, sometimes I have these elements of me that don't necessarily serve.
00:14:18
Speaker
They don't serve myself.
00:14:19
Speaker
They don't serve others.
00:14:20
Speaker
So when, instead of getting rid of that,
00:14:23
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aspect of my personality, recognize it when it comes up and have a process and the tools to deal with it so that I'm not some monkey flinging my poo out in the world.
00:14:34
Speaker
And then when I'm, when I catch my breath, I'm like, ah, okay, I feel so much better now.
00:14:39
Speaker
And then my friends or my community is like, wow, I'm covered in poo.
00:14:44
Speaker
Thanks.
00:14:45
Speaker
You know, thanks for nothing.
00:14:46
Speaker
So,
00:14:47
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Instead of instead of getting to that point, recognize like, OK, this is when I like especially it's, you know, for me, it's been aimed towards myself and aimed about how I relate to my partner.
00:15:00
Speaker
So.
00:15:02
Speaker
Being like, okay, so instead of having my shadow kind of take over and like take the wheel and just all over everything and just be like, okay, this is this part of me is coming up, have a way to deal with that.
00:15:13
Speaker
And this is individual for all of us.
00:15:14
Speaker
So it's important that we all so what it's not a one size fits all kind of thing.
00:15:18
Speaker
So kind of recognizing, okay, there's a way for me to process this that does not leave damage in its wake.
00:15:26
Speaker
I think that's the important thing to be able to be like, okay, so I'm going to prompt.
00:15:30
Speaker
So this, this part of me is going to come out and be expressed and do it consciously because it is going to be, and this is kind of what you was saying.
00:15:37
Speaker
If we don't do it consciously, it's going to come out one way or the other.
00:15:40
Speaker
If you don't do it consciously, it's going to come out unconsciously.
00:15:42
Speaker
And that's where the damage can happen.
00:15:45
Speaker
uh to ourself and to our loved ones so it's important to have a process to be like okay to to flex this shadow a little bit let it express in some way that doesn't necessarily create a lot of you know doesn't leave a smoking crater in its uh in its wake
00:16:00
Speaker
Totally.
00:16:00
Speaker
Yeah.
00:16:01
Speaker
Being able to recognize that there's healthy outlets to be able to express those parts of ourselves, you know, and I, I feel like, you know, personally, there's been moments where I'm like, I'll just, I'll just swallow down this little pill of resentment.
00:16:16
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I'm just going to just not say anything.
00:16:18
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I'm not going to do anything.
00:16:19
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And the next, next thing, you know, you could even hear it in my breath right now.
00:16:21
Speaker
I'm like,
00:16:22
Speaker
get tight tight tight my body's tight and i'm holding something in that's just i don't know how to express my frustration next thing you know that stores in the body stores in the tissues becomes dis-ease right if we don't express
00:16:40
Speaker
these aspects of ourselves that are natural to who we are as humans, anger, frustration, rage.
00:16:48
Speaker
These are emotions, primal emotions that need to move.
00:16:53
Speaker
Children are such incredible teachers because they know how to move emotions.
00:17:00
Speaker
A tantrum, a little kid having a tantrum when they're angry or they're in their process, they shake and they scream and then the next thing you know, they're done.
00:17:09
Speaker
They're happy again.
00:17:10
Speaker
You know, we humans don't often, or humans, we adults don't often, you know, take time to like go shake and scream and move and, you know, working out is definitely a good place to be able to move some emotions or like I personally like to go scream at the ocean.
00:17:28
Speaker
I was having something come up recently where I was like,
00:17:32
Speaker
really frustrated and annoyed and there was something coming up and it was a part of my like my like inner rebel
Emotional Processing Techniques
00:17:38
Speaker
is a you know was like kind of like getting challenged so I went down to the beach and I took really heavy rocks and I threw them in the ocean and I screamed and I stomped and and it felt amazing it was such a beautiful way to be able to just like get it out and then after that I felt so much clearer I was able to approach
00:17:59
Speaker
the situation that was triggering me from much more centered state of awareness, much more just clarity rather than letting the emotions just fuel that dagger, right?
00:18:11
Speaker
Because if I didn't express it like you were talking about, then it will come out in a way that just like, yeah, is hurtful towards someone else.
00:18:19
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You know, so being able to learn how to move through those emotions is very powerful.
00:18:26
Speaker
Yeah, I think that there's a big danger in
00:18:33
Speaker
when you let it out subconsciously.
00:18:38
Speaker
I mean, you talked about, Janice, it as a part of yourself.
00:18:45
Speaker
And I think when we start to see that it's not us that is having this experience, it's a part of us that's having this experience or having these feelings.
00:18:54
Speaker
And for me, that was the initial huge growth opportunity was making a separation
00:19:02
Speaker
between these dark and shadow feelings or that I was having and understanding that this is not the end all be all of reality.
00:19:11
Speaker
This is an experience that a part of me is having that my shadow is happening.
00:19:15
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Like my inner critic is kicking in.
00:19:17
Speaker
And so in the heat of the moment, or I can start to feel myself spiraling down with self judgment.
00:19:26
Speaker
But if I can acknowledge that this is a legitimate part of who I am,
00:19:32
Speaker
I can look at it and it doesn't get the same momentum.
00:19:36
Speaker
Now my experience, you know, my recent kind of growth with it was that I started to separate my inner critic and I started to give more and more volume to my inner cheerleader.
00:19:47
Speaker
And my intermediate process of this was that I almost had them like fighting it out.
00:19:52
Speaker
And when the inner cheerleader would win, I'd be like, yeah, I kicked the critics ass.
00:19:56
Speaker
Yeah, I'm fucking rocking it.
00:19:58
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I beat him, you know?
00:20:00
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And I kept having a therapist and friends say, that's great.
00:20:03
Speaker
You know, now you just need to learn to love the critic.
00:20:05
Speaker
It's like, what?
00:20:08
Speaker
i really couldn't do it i was like i cannot forgive the critic it is it is detracted from my life so much there's so much that i haven't been able to do there's so much that's held me back like i can't forgive it i can't forgive it and so i kept this process for for months and months of of just give like celebrating my cheerleader and beating up on my critic and then i had this really powerful shadow work session with a gifted therapist who
00:20:34
Speaker
helped me really see this, this part of me.
00:20:38
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And, and they led me through a appreciation and thanking this part of me and tracked down to where this part of me kind of was born as a young age in me and thanked it.
00:20:51
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And, and I had this powerful sensation of that, that part of me
00:20:57
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never wanted to be the bad guy.
00:20:58
Speaker
That part of me has always been trying to help.
00:21:01
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And this massive relief of like, oh, I don't wanna be the bad guy.
00:21:05
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And I started bawling, like uncontrollably bawling.
00:21:08
Speaker
And I was finally able to see this little piece of myself, this like childhood part of me that has been trying to protect me from despair.
00:21:17
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for my entire life.
00:21:18
Speaker
And all the whole time, I'm always like, God, I hate you.
00:21:21
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I hate you.
00:21:21
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I hate you.
00:21:22
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And it's just trying so hard to protect me.
00:21:25
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And that shift of like, okay, I can love you.
00:21:30
Speaker
And from that loving place, now when I hear the critic, I can lovingly say, I so appreciate you're trying to protect me.
00:21:38
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Thank you.
00:21:38
Speaker
Thank you.
00:21:38
Speaker
Thank you for trying to protect me.
00:21:40
Speaker
And I hear you.
00:21:41
Speaker
And I now have so much more strength than when you were first needed.
00:21:45
Speaker
So thank you.
00:21:46
Speaker
And I'm going to now choose to move through this.
00:21:49
Speaker
Hmm.
00:21:50
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I am.
00:21:50
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There's an element of there of, you know, dealing with your ego, so to speak.
00:21:56
Speaker
And a lot of times on our journey of, from want of a better term, spiritual awakening, there is the, okay, we need to, we need to banish our ego.
00:22:04
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We need to overcome our ego and defeat our ego and all this other stuff.
00:22:07
Speaker
But this is an element, what we're talking about really is like we're banishing an element of ourself.
00:22:14
Speaker
That doesn't seem like a good idea.
00:22:16
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It seems like what we want to do is,
00:22:20
Speaker
let those times where the ego is driving our car, we want to keep those to a minimum.
00:22:26
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You don't necessarily want to kick the ego out of the side of the road, but just, you know, have the, sometimes the ego gets to be the co-pilot.
00:22:32
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Sometimes it gets to sit in the back seat.
00:22:34
Speaker
Sometimes you got to put in the truck, but it's always coming with us.
00:22:38
Speaker
And there's even times where consciously, okay, you want to take the wheel here?
00:22:41
Speaker
There's a way to do that where, you know, we can just be like,
00:22:44
Speaker
yeah, I'm fully, I'm the rock star, I'm the badass, da-da-da-da-da.
00:22:50
Speaker
And there's ways to go about this.
00:22:51
Speaker
And again, it's all personal how we do that.
00:22:55
Speaker
But realizing that we're not going to ban our ego, and we shouldn't want to.
00:22:59
Speaker
The ego is the thing that keeps us from walking out in front of a bus in the traffic.
00:23:02
Speaker
It's that thing that wants us to stay alive and thrive and all this and
00:23:07
Speaker
all this other stuff, but it can be a little detrimental sometimes, oftentimes, more often than not.
00:23:13
Speaker
It's, you know, it can, it can lead us to places that necessarily don't serve us and don't serve others.
00:23:17
Speaker
So, yeah,
00:23:19
Speaker
But it's not going anywhere.
00:23:20
Speaker
And it's not something that needs to be defeated or overcome or banished.
00:23:24
Speaker
It's like, no, it's like we can be buddies with it.
00:23:27
Speaker
It's like that inner critic process.
00:23:29
Speaker
Like, no, it's like, I actually kind of need you in some places, but I need your advice on occasion.
00:23:35
Speaker
And I'm going to consciously be like, okay, so what does my ego have to say about this?
00:23:40
Speaker
And...
00:23:41
Speaker
And now all the, you know, in my experience, the ego just wants to be heard and doesn't necessarily need to be followed through on advice.
00:23:48
Speaker
And it might want to drive the car on occasion, but it's like more or less, I just need to pay attention to it when it comes up how I don't like what this person is doing.
00:23:55
Speaker
That has no effect on me, but I still feel like I need to have an opinion about it.
00:23:58
Speaker
It's like, okay, Halsey said this thing that bugged me the other day.
00:24:01
Speaker
Okay, well, what was that?
00:24:03
Speaker
Let's talk about that.
00:24:04
Speaker
And then, so it's almost like having this conversation with self.
00:24:07
Speaker
They're like, okay, I hear you.
00:24:10
Speaker
Now, you have a seat.
00:24:11
Speaker
It's all fine.
00:24:11
Speaker
And then I'm going to continue driving this car.
00:24:14
Speaker
And when I continue leading the way, my highest version, my best version, I'm going to continue to lead the way on that.
00:24:19
Speaker
So it's important to get, in my opinion, to get beyond the idea of banishing our ego.
00:24:24
Speaker
We need to become friends with this aspect of ourself because it's not going anywhere.
00:24:31
Speaker
It reminds me of this book called Big Magic.
00:24:34
Speaker
It is a really great book.
00:24:35
Speaker
I think it's Elizabeth Gilbert.
00:24:37
Speaker
And she speaks about self-doubt and criticism.
00:24:42
Speaker
And that is an aspect of self that is very likely going to come along for the ride when we start any creative endeavor.
00:24:53
Speaker
And she speaks about it just in the same way as far as like driving a car.
00:24:57
Speaker
So self-doubt and criticism is always going to come along for the ride.
00:25:01
Speaker
And it's up to me to put it in the backseat.
00:25:04
Speaker
It's like it's not going to be changing the radio station.
00:25:07
Speaker
It's not going to be telling me where to go.
00:25:09
Speaker
I can hear it trying to take control, but I can be aware that when it tries to get into the driver's seat.
00:25:17
Speaker
So it's a really great book.
00:25:17
Speaker
And then the other book that has really helped me with this whole concept of shadow is The Gene Keys.
Recommended Reading on Shadows
00:25:26
Speaker
by Richard Rudd.
00:25:27
Speaker
So if you guys haven't gotten into the Gene Keys, I highly, highly recommend.
00:25:31
Speaker
There's so much information and great content that Richard Rudd is putting out to around the Gene Keys, but it has really on a personal level helped me to understand this concept of the shadow aspects of who we are as humans and also as individuals.
00:25:48
Speaker
And it breaks down the 64 genomes in our being.
00:25:56
Speaker
into the shadow, the gift, and the enlightened expression of that gene.
00:26:01
Speaker
And so it's been really helpful.
00:26:03
Speaker
I listen to the gene keys on the audible, and it is every day pretty much giving me so much insight into my own process, where some of my judgment or negativity or just, you know, different shadow aspects come from.
00:26:22
Speaker
Mm-hmm.
00:26:25
Speaker
Yeah, that's a jinkies is a good one.
00:26:27
Speaker
I did dive into that.
00:26:28
Speaker
And it's a there's some real gold to be found within that for sure.
00:26:33
Speaker
It's a little it's it's a thick book.
00:26:36
Speaker
So it can be it can be a
00:26:41
Speaker
It can be a bit of a thick read for some people.
00:26:43
Speaker
So audiobooks are your friend.
00:26:46
Speaker
That's always a good option for people.
00:26:49
Speaker
And as well as YouTube videos, there's a lot of fantastic – the author of Gene Keys, once again, is Richard Rudd, R-U-U-D.
00:26:58
Speaker
He's got a lot of fantastic videos on YouTube.
00:27:00
Speaker
So that's also a great introduction.
00:27:02
Speaker
And you can explore that if the idea of diving into a big book is a little much for you.
00:27:06
Speaker
That's a good introduction.
00:27:07
Speaker
And that's what worked for me was it inspired me to be like, oh, this guy's got a lot of great things to say.
00:27:12
Speaker
So then I dove into that book and really had a good journey with that.
00:27:16
Speaker
So that's a good recommendation, Betsy.
00:27:18
Speaker
Also, two good books in regards to The Shadow that helped me a lot was one was The Dark Side of the Light Chasers by Debbie Ford.
00:27:28
Speaker
It's a good intro.
00:27:29
Speaker
It's a good intro for that.
00:27:30
Speaker
The book that I really felt like got some good juice out of was called Romancing the Shadow by two authors named Connie Zwick and Steve Wolf.
00:27:40
Speaker
And that book was really, it really kind of dove into how Jung would
00:27:45
Speaker
dive into the shadow via the expression of archetypes or the study of archetypes, like the mythology that we're familiar with.
00:27:52
Speaker
Joseph Campbell talks a lot about this as well.
00:27:54
Speaker
But our story has, you know, it kind of goes into the idea that our story, our life has actually been told before via mythological characters.
00:28:06
Speaker
Whatever we find ourselves dealing with, there is that story has been told in mythology.
00:28:10
Speaker
So it's important to kind of study mythology a little bit and be like, OK, so
00:28:14
Speaker
What's what character has had the journey that reflects my life's journey up to up to up till now?
00:28:21
Speaker
And it's kind of wild to once you dive into that, it's like, oh, wow.
00:28:25
Speaker
Like you can resonate with a mythological character, whether it's Greek mythology, African mythology, South American mythology.
00:28:33
Speaker
There are story has been told and it's fascinating.
00:28:37
Speaker
fascinating really to dive into that get like okay so how did this person that had this character deal with what what i'm currently dealing with there's some gold there um we don't need to recreate the wheel we have we have resources to to dive into like whatever we happen to be dealing with at the time um i never really had an issue with jealousy in my life but what i've kind of learned about it is that
00:29:01
Speaker
And like Julie said, like so many, so many examples of these emotions that we would consider to be negative, quote unquote, they're just looking for
00:29:12
Speaker
There's a loss of control that we are afraid of losing.
00:29:17
Speaker
And that's when our ego kind of pipes up about things.
00:29:21
Speaker
We want to be in control of our situation.
00:29:24
Speaker
When we feel that lack of control, it's like, oh, we tend to lash out about that.
00:29:28
Speaker
And a lot of my own process has been about relinquishing the need for control in life and having tools to do that.
00:29:39
Speaker
has allowed me to relax about a lot of different things, whether it's like control of my partner or control of business situation or friendships or whatever, realizing like, all right, I don't, you know, I don't need to have control over this thing.
00:29:50
Speaker
It's fine.
00:29:50
Speaker
It can, it can play out the way it is.
00:29:52
Speaker
Only thing I can really control is my response to it, uh, as opposed to reaction.
00:29:56
Speaker
So there's, this is such a rich detailed deep dive.
00:30:01
Speaker
Um,
00:30:02
Speaker
aspect of like diving into our shadow.
00:30:04
Speaker
It can go a lot of different directions.
00:30:06
Speaker
And but it's important to start that journey if we haven't done so already.
00:30:11
Speaker
Yeah, absolutely.
00:30:13
Speaker
And considering the name of our podcast is Stay Sparked.
00:30:20
Speaker
How do we stay inspired?
00:30:22
Speaker
Right?
00:30:23
Speaker
It is oftentimes we're speaking of the light and the joy and it's like, okay, well then how do we stay sparked when going into something that can be heavy?
00:30:35
Speaker
dark, going into the darkness where there's like despair and disease and depression and death.
00:30:42
Speaker
How do we navigate it from that place of staying inspired, not bypassing, but being willing to go into some of these places with that kind of
00:30:54
Speaker
deep trust and deep perseverance to be able to move through something that is so challenging.
00:31:01
Speaker
And I feel like that that is the fuel that really helps to alchemize what those shadows are and helps us to rise up and out.
00:31:11
Speaker
It's like collectively, we are in a very dark place.
00:31:15
Speaker
There's a lot of things that are happening on our planet that are like, oh, damn.
00:31:20
Speaker
And
00:31:21
Speaker
and it's always been there and there's a lot of that you know and it's like well then how do we move through it with with grace how do we move through it with that that place of willingness to learn and grow and i feel like for me personally that's how i
00:31:37
Speaker
have been able to cultivate a deeper, more consistent, steady place of joy in my life.
00:31:43
Speaker
Because when I go into those darker places, or when the shadow starts to come up, or there's something that is like percolating within me that is dense, then in that curiosity, what do I have to learn here?
00:31:56
Speaker
What is this
00:31:57
Speaker
this teaching me right now?
00:31:59
Speaker
How can I grow and evolve through this?
00:32:02
Speaker
Especially when it comes to like somebody else triggering something in me, you know, if I'm starting to feel resentful, frustrated, annoyed, you know, how can I actually take this and turn it into gold?
00:32:14
Speaker
you know, this coal into gold, that's the alchemy, right?
00:32:17
Speaker
Of the shadow that goes into then the gift, right?
00:32:20
Speaker
And then we become liberated and can rise up and then help to, yeah, just stay on the upward spiral of life.
00:32:29
Speaker
That's what we're here to do.
00:32:31
Speaker
Yes.
00:32:32
Speaker
Yes.
00:32:32
Speaker
I think that it's easy to slip into a headspace that the negativity or the darkness or your shadow is what's holding you back.
00:32:42
Speaker
It's the negative, it's the problem, you know, it's the obstacle and it's really, it's it, you know, your work, your adventure as a hero in this lifetime is to address
00:32:57
Speaker
your shadow is to integrate and work through your traumas and your subconscious stuff and to really gain some mastery over these parts of yourself that deserve to be loved are a part of who you are and and i think that shifting your mindset from the this parts of me are the problem to this part is the journey can can really liberate us from that
00:33:23
Speaker
that judgment that makes everything worse.
00:33:26
Speaker
When you start feeling like, I'm failing, I'm broken.
00:33:30
Speaker
No, you're not.
00:33:31
Speaker
You're humaning.
00:33:33
Speaker
And this is how you do it.
00:33:34
Speaker
And the more you do it, the more it becomes, you become a skilled warrior in the journey instead of just feeling helpless to this darkness.
00:33:44
Speaker
Hero's journey.
00:33:45
Speaker
Yeah.
00:33:45
Speaker
And that's the spark.
00:33:47
Speaker
That's the big, that's it.
00:33:50
Speaker
Honestly, realizing, like Betsy was saying, this is our hero's journey.
00:33:54
Speaker
We've heard of that term, the hero's journey.
00:33:57
Speaker
That is the perfect way to describe our lives, is the hero's journey.
00:34:01
Speaker
And it's not...
00:34:03
Speaker
never meant to be this like placid water just just cruising along it is it is every every ride in the amusement park is it comprises our lives uh sometimes it's this carousel it's fun sometimes it's a roller coaster sometimes it's this crazy ass loop-de-loop that just like turns us upside down and shakes all the stuff out of out of us and it's um that that's what we're here for that's what let's hope that's what we're here to learn to
00:34:29
Speaker
necessarily, you know, overcoming is one way about it, but I think it's more incorporating.
00:34:35
Speaker
And, you know, the idea of the, you know, the saying that the obstacle is the way it's like, we are, we are here for this.
00:34:40
Speaker
We all have challenges and like, okay, so how do we navigate those challenges and learning how to do so and learning, learning how to, to do it, you know, with some grace and to not just walk through life, but to dance through life, to dance through these challenges is really, um,
00:34:56
Speaker
yeah is what i think we're we're mainly here to do it feels like that's our purpose in life is to overcome the overcome the the yuck and to just live in the in the young
00:35:08
Speaker
Yeah, I love that you said dance through it because I feel like movement is a really powerful ally when it comes to navigating some of these denser emotions or these like heavier thought processes and belief systems and depression and some of the hard times, you know, how do we
Movement & Emotional Well-being
00:35:30
Speaker
move through things, right?
00:35:32
Speaker
Move.
00:35:33
Speaker
move the body, right?
00:35:34
Speaker
I mean, moving the spine.
00:35:37
Speaker
If there is no movement in water, it becomes stagnant and it becomes mucky and gross.
00:35:44
Speaker
You know, there is like, you know, something that just, yeah, just doesn't flow.
00:35:49
Speaker
And we're meant to have fluid moving through our bodies.
00:35:52
Speaker
And if we're not moving our bodies, then there can be stagnation.
00:35:56
Speaker
So I know personally, one of the ways that I have gotten to, uh,
00:36:01
Speaker
gain clarity on some of the moments where I'm feeling stuck or uncertain or doubtful is move my body, get out and go for a walk, dance.
00:36:12
Speaker
If I'm not feeling good enough to dance or walk, even just get a little shaking.
00:36:17
Speaker
a little bit of shaky, shaky, shaky, my body.
00:36:20
Speaker
And I think about that metaphor around the stagnation and the, in the stream, right?
00:36:25
Speaker
If it gets pulled up in a certain area and turn starts turning, turning green, it's like, I'm going to start moving my body and hope to clear some of that stagnation, that density out of the physical, and then allow the energetic and emotional, um, clarity to come through.
00:36:43
Speaker
Yeah, same.
00:36:44
Speaker
And that's like the final spark I think I want to touch on today is the need for physicality.
00:36:51
Speaker
I think Halcyn has spoken to this before, like the somatic, like...
00:36:57
Speaker
I, is this somatic therapy?
00:36:58
Speaker
I'm not sure what, what, what you would call it, but just, but yeah, moving the body around.
00:37:02
Speaker
Like I even had, like Betsy and I had this gathering that we were at, like she put me into this aerial somatic kind of yoga swing kind of womb in the, just in the middle of the gathering.
00:37:13
Speaker
And just, so I had a quickie little session with her.
00:37:16
Speaker
She just kind of moved me around and I had this whole process of, you
00:37:20
Speaker
I would tense up and then I would have to be like, oh, relax, relax.
00:37:24
Speaker
And I would get a relaxed.
00:37:25
Speaker
And I was only able to relax so far before I would tense up again.
00:37:28
Speaker
I was like, and I find myself like holding tension somewhere, relax again.
00:37:31
Speaker
So I had this like process six, seven times over the course of just this quick little session where Bessie's just moving me around in this yoga swing.
00:37:38
Speaker
And by the time I came out of it, I was like, oh, I was so relaxed, but I had to go through layers of this over it.
00:37:44
Speaker
So I came out of it just like,
00:37:46
Speaker
That was fantastic.
00:37:47
Speaker
Thanks, Betsy.
00:37:48
Speaker
And just, it was a reminder, movement, getting physical is a surefire way to move stuff within us to kind of activate that, get ourselves out of that stagnation.
00:38:00
Speaker
And because it's super easy to kind of sit into our like negativity, whatever we're feeling that's kind of, eh,
00:38:07
Speaker
moving the body around is a surefire way to get things moving and to get things flowing and then i can ah it's a good way to release the things that might feel like they have a hold of us so yeah that's a that's that's that's a good thing for me to remember yeah yeah so all right so
00:38:28
Speaker
Closing sparks.
00:38:29
Speaker
Yeah.
00:38:30
Speaker
Yeah.
00:38:31
Speaker
In tradition of our stay sparked.
00:38:33
Speaker
And there's, you know, there's always more to unpack here and maybe we'll do another episode on shadow and reveal some of our own personal shadows a little bit more.
00:38:43
Speaker
But I think this is a good start and we'll close it up with some sparks.
00:38:48
Speaker
So I will share mine is.
00:38:51
Speaker
really coming at this perspective of the shadow as something that can inform evolution and inform who I am.
00:38:59
Speaker
My personal journey of growth and transformation is not avoiding those shadow aspects, not avoiding the dark side of who I am, but being willing to look at those parts of myself with curiosity so that way I can grow and evolve from them.
00:39:17
Speaker
And of course, surrounding myself with people that
00:39:20
Speaker
that support the authentic expression of who I am.
00:39:24
Speaker
Like you guys.
00:39:25
Speaker
Thank you.
00:39:27
Speaker
I love that.
00:39:27
Speaker
Yeah.
00:39:28
Speaker
And I think my closing spark would be that I,
00:39:33
Speaker
These shadow parts to ourselves, we have the fear that it's going to be what we're judged for or that what makes us separate from other people.
00:39:45
Speaker
And it is it is those are not our weaknesses.
00:39:49
Speaker
Those are our humanness.
00:39:50
Speaker
And as we share those things, it doesn't make us separate.
00:39:54
Speaker
It actually allows people to feel connected, to reveal their truths.
00:39:58
Speaker
And I mean, I think one of the most powerful thing that happens in groups or it almost at any time someone shares this thing that they think is so terrible about themselves,
00:40:08
Speaker
Someone goes, yeah, me too.
00:40:09
Speaker
Yeah, mate.
00:40:10
Speaker
That's, yep.
00:40:11
Speaker
Yep.
00:40:12
Speaker
Me too.
00:40:12
Speaker
And we're like, what?
00:40:13
Speaker
Like, yes, we all, everyone here has got a kid thinks that they were a bad parent at times.
00:40:17
Speaker
You know, everyone has these stuff.
00:40:19
Speaker
And, and so the more that you recognize it's part of being a human.
00:40:23
Speaker
And if we can accept that in ourselves, we start to accept it in others and just the ability to love yourself and others grows when you can include the shadow into what's lovable.
00:40:35
Speaker
Mm-hmm.
00:40:35
Speaker
That's well said.
00:40:36
Speaker
That's well said.
00:40:38
Speaker
Yeah.
00:40:38
Speaker
Our vulnerability is a superpower.
00:40:41
Speaker
And it took me a while to get my head around that, to get my heart around that.
00:40:45
Speaker
But really, like, opening ourselves up to express and really go into those tender spots, even with ourself, and also especially with other people.
00:40:54
Speaker
There's so much goal on the other side of that.
00:40:56
Speaker
Like it really feels, it's an empowering place to really kind of open up.
00:41:00
Speaker
We're like, you know, I'm, I'm not doing, I'm not doing great.
00:41:03
Speaker
Or I don't like this part of myself.
00:41:05
Speaker
I don't like it when I get like this really.
00:41:07
Speaker
And what can I do about that?
00:41:08
Speaker
And our friends are good source resources.
00:41:11
Speaker
Therapists are good resources.
00:41:12
Speaker
Like all sorts of online resources are available.
00:41:15
Speaker
It's to, in order to really dive into that vulnerability and there's, it's, yeah, it's a superpower.
00:41:20
Speaker
So when we treat it, when we treat it as such, we are.
00:41:25
Speaker
that's that's what i that's what i would like to close out my my sparks for today i love that amazing well so grateful to be here with you guys thank you all for listening out there for just yeah reminding us uh when we see you how much you're enjoying this this has really been such a gift to all of us to get to share with you so thank you so much for listening and for those of you who want to go a little deeper with us we
00:41:52
Speaker
Would love to work with you and share with you guys how you can find us.
00:41:56
Speaker
So I'll start.
00:41:57
Speaker
You can find me on poweraffirmation.com where I have the journal, the Power Affirmation Journal, which helps to reprogram limiting beliefs and using affirmations and gratitude and self-inquiry to get deeper into some of what we're talking about here is shifting some of the programs.
00:42:14
Speaker
I also do body work and healing work.
00:42:16
Speaker
And as Yana said, the aerial somatics where it's kind of like a rebirth and cocoon
00:42:21
Speaker
experience of transformation.
00:42:23
Speaker
And so yeah, you can find me on there and also all kinds of wonderful affirmations on insight timer.
00:42:28
Speaker
So please do find me and reach out.
00:42:33
Speaker
Beautiful.
00:42:35
Speaker
I am available at john stin.com.
00:42:38
Speaker
where you can get links to the YouTube channel Hug Nation, where I've got almost 2000 videos with looking to do all my nooks and crannies, lots of shadow stuff.
00:42:48
Speaker
So if you got something about yourself that you think I'm broken, guess what?
00:42:51
Speaker
I probably have shared that feeling and experience too.
00:42:54
Speaker
And also a deeper dive into who I am in my shadow.
00:42:58
Speaker
You can find that through one of my two books.
00:43:01
Speaker
I've got two books available, one called Love More, Fear Less, Float More, Steer Less, and another called Protagonist.
00:43:06
Speaker
It goes through this journey, my hero's journey, and some of the projects that have been a part of this for me over the years.
00:43:16
Speaker
You know, we should be talking about your books a little more, a little more frequently.
00:43:20
Speaker
I forgot you have those.
00:43:22
Speaker
I love when you talk about your books.
00:43:23
Speaker
They're so good.
00:43:24
Speaker
Talk about yourself.
00:43:25
Speaker
Yeah, to be full disclosure, I have not read your second book, Protagonist, but I definitely read the first one and loved it.
00:43:32
Speaker
Thank you.
00:43:33
Speaker
Really?
00:43:33
Speaker
Yeah, it was really good.
00:43:35
Speaker
So yeah, it reminds me I need to follow up on the new Halcyon offering.
00:43:38
Speaker
So thanks for that reminder.
00:43:41
Speaker
For myself, I've got a nutritional supplement company called New World Nutritionals spelled NU World Nutritionals and dot com.
00:43:50
Speaker
And we have a microdose product that is fantastic at helping people achieve a healthy state of mind.
00:43:56
Speaker
It's good for alleviating symptoms of anxiety, depression, ADHD, PTSD, even anything neurological.
00:44:03
Speaker
It can definitely help you with that.
00:44:05
Speaker
It's getting, I'm getting a lot of good feedback.
00:44:06
Speaker
We're getting a lot of good feedback from a lot of different populations and such.
00:44:10
Speaker
So it's yeah, it's good product.
00:44:12
Speaker
Check it out at newworldnutritionals.com.
00:44:13
Speaker
You can use the code SPARKED for 10% off of all of our products.
00:44:19
Speaker
Amazing.
00:44:20
Speaker
So good.
00:44:22
Speaker
Spreading the sparks in our own unique ways.
00:44:24
Speaker
So, so grateful to be here with you guys and would love to close it up with an affirmation to support us on this journey of embracing all aspects of ourselves.
Closing Thoughts on Embracing Shadows
00:44:34
Speaker
Thank you.
00:44:35
Speaker
So you're welcome to, of course, you're welcome to join me in repeating these affirmations, or if you want to just let them wash over and through you, just taking a nice deep breath.
00:44:50
Speaker
i embrace and love as all aspects of myself i embrace and love all aspects of myself i embrace and love all aspects of myself
00:45:02
Speaker
I allow the shadow to inform my highest evolution.
00:45:08
Speaker
I allow the shadow to inform my highest evolution.
00:45:12
Speaker
I allow the shadow to inform my highest evolution.
00:45:15
Speaker
I am growing and evolving and rising.
00:45:19
Speaker
I am growing and evolving and rising.
00:45:21
Speaker
I am growing and evolving and rising.
00:45:25
Speaker
I am light, I am shadow, and I am balanced.
00:45:30
Speaker
And so it is.
00:45:32
Speaker
So it is.
00:45:34
Speaker
Thank you.
00:45:36
Speaker
I love you guys.
00:45:37
Speaker
Thank you so much.
00:45:39
Speaker
Love you too.
00:45:39
Speaker
Stay smart people.