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053 - Social Emotional Leadership in Sports
118 Plays18 days ago
"Sports don't teach lessons, coaches do." Pick up the tools to ensure your athletes develop leadership skills that will serve them in college, careers, and as future parents—not just on the field now.
Tex McQuilkin cracks open his recent article published in the Beyond Strength Journal of Psychology and Sport, exploring how coaches can maximize leadership development opportunities "between the whistles."
Tex introduces the powerful concept of Social Emotional Leadership and his "CASEL in Cleats" framework—a practical application of Social Emotional Learning (SEL) designed specifically for teenage and college athletes. Moving beyond traditional skill development, this episode focuses on those crucial moments during warm-ups, water breaks, and conditioning that can transform athletes into leaders.
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#SportsCoaching #LeadershipDevelopment #YouthSports #SocialEmotionalLearning #CharacterBuilding #CoachEducation #SportsPsychology #TeamBuilding #HighSchoolSports #AthleteLeadership #SocialEmotionalLeadership
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Transcript
Introduction to Leadership through Athletics
00:00:02
Speaker
Welcome to the Captains and Coaches podcast. We explore the art and science of leadership through the lens of athletics and beyond. I'm your host, Tex McQuilkin, and today I'm excited to talk about an article that I had published in the Beyond Strength Journal of Psychology and Sport.
Structuring Practices for Development
00:00:18
Speaker
So i was asked to write this article about how I structure and design my practices, not necessarily in the skill development arena, but more of the leadership and the social emotional development for teenagers and college age athletes.
00:00:35
Speaker
So this this is a fun article. It was ah an opportunity for me to put on display these nuances, almost between the whistles, that coaches can really take advantage of and really develop and explore opportunities for leadership, growth, and expanding their impact as a coach between the whistles.
Beyond Drills: Athlete Growth
00:00:57
Speaker
Not these specific drills, not the specific schemes that are taught, but all those moments, the water breaks, the conditioning, all the little things, the warm-up especially, which we're going to cover here, all those little things that really take an athlete where they cannot take themselves.
00:01:14
Speaker
and Yeah, awesome time. So check it out. Beyond Strength Journal of Psychology and Sport. We're going to explore a little bit of this. So the term I'm going to lean into a lot is social emotional leadership.
Inspiration from SEL Framework
00:01:28
Speaker
I first became aware of the concepts that I'm going to introduce today when I was brought in by a company called Kids Strong to develop their coaching technology and help with their replication and certification process.
00:01:42
Speaker
So they were leaning hard into the a education developmental tool used by elementary schools called social emotional learning. So there's different components of that we're going to lean in. So it's it's very interesting because schools utilize this to develop the curriculum for those elementary schools.
00:02:01
Speaker
And as I was learning this, combined with the developmental stages that are present within that age group of children, all these light bulbs started to go off in my brain of all these conflicts and problem-labeled kids that I would label. I was definitely wrong in that.
00:02:19
Speaker
that I would label and then it was like, oh, They missed this developmental stage. There was a conflict, a fission, a friction going on in their lives when they were meant to learn this developmental milestone when they were in elementary school.
00:02:35
Speaker
And now I'm getting them when they're 16, 18, 20 years old and they're having conflicts with their
Identifying and Addressing Developmental Gaps
00:02:42
Speaker
team. they're not They don't have a good, healthy relationship with authority.
00:02:46
Speaker
They're butting heads with their teammates. They're fighting over certain things. There's age regressions. They're 18 but acting eight years old like they're a brother and sister battling in the backseat of a car on a long road trip.
00:02:59
Speaker
So all these light bulbs started to go off. And then it it was ah it was an amazing experience to then reflect on my huge coaching career at both the collegiate and the high school levels and then start to see these connections and now opportunities to really hand tools off to you to help these athletes develop social emotional leadership that they can take into their varsity athletics. They can take into their job.
00:03:28
Speaker
They can take into their their college ah academics. They can take it into life after this, when they do step into their first career job or management roles and later on when they're their parents.
Coaches Bridging Educational Gaps
00:03:42
Speaker
so We're going explore it a lot about that. And what's interesting within the school work, there's a lot of parents and families that assume that they're going to get these tools at school.
00:03:53
Speaker
And a lot of the tools that I'm going to introduce, schools assume that the kids are getting it at home, but then the the kids left in the middle. So there's an opportunity for us as coaches, whether it's within the weight room or the the sport court, the field practice,
00:04:09
Speaker
to step in and help solidify that they get opportunities, exposure to these lessons going into that. So we don't want to assume that the kids are getting it at home and in school when we receive them at sport.
00:04:25
Speaker
And we get to apply stress to then test and see if there's anything that we learn about these. so Again, I mentioned I labeled kids as problems. I've had kids at both high school and college show up to practice drunk.
00:04:39
Speaker
That doesn't sound fun at all. But they're acting out for a reason. They're looking to push back against authority to really test boundaries and search for boundaries.
00:04:51
Speaker
Well, guess what? They found it, right? But at the same time, what approach did I take to help teach those boundaries and those lessons?
From Disciplinarian to Mentor
00:04:59
Speaker
Definitely leaned into the old conditioning factor, especially in their current state.
00:05:04
Speaker
Was that right? Maybe not. But then when you have a kid breaking down and more worried about what they're going to walk into at home, again, like, did I have the toolkit to take on responsibility at that moment to help that kid who he needed the most?
00:05:22
Speaker
my understanding of conditioning and VO2 max, it didn't help me in that moment. So I needed to accept my limitation and think about, okay, how can I help this kid in this moment?
00:05:35
Speaker
So exploring a lot of those tools. So i've I've made every mistake that I highlighted here within the journal and some of the tools we're practicing here today. And I mean, backing off from coaching in that moment and stepping into mentor and friend, what he needed, that that was difficult, but it was an opportunity for me to grow as a man as well and a leader.
00:05:59
Speaker
So aim to understand this and hold on to this. And this is the theme throughout this
Sports as Life Lessons
00:06:04
Speaker
episode. And this is from my friend, Jim Davis, a good athlete project that sports don't teach lessons.
00:06:10
Speaker
Coaches do. So it's this opportunity where lacrosse was a sport I was coaching, it did not facilitate what he needed at that time. He needed a coach to step in and help lead them.
00:06:23
Speaker
So think of the weight room, think of the field, think of the court, the sporting arena as the the vehicle to then teach these lessons for you. I've had plenty of coaches within my my athletic career that they taught us a lot, and especially how to build resent resentment and come together as a team in spite of that coach.
00:06:46
Speaker
That is a lesson in itself, but that's that's not the coach that I want to be. I want to be there to to help ah bridge that gap and make the memories because no one's going to remember the scoreboard. Nobody's going to remember your record in 20 years.
00:06:59
Speaker
They're going to hold on to those lessons, positive or negative, that then helped when a certain situation came up that was similar to the conflict or the challenge or the the stress that they faced way back in high school. So...
00:07:15
Speaker
You need to identify that gap. It's our opportunity as a coach to shine light and then our responsibility to then help build a bridge across that gap for our athletes.
Adapting CASEL for Sports
00:07:28
Speaker
So let's get into the SEL, social emotional learning. the The framework that we utilize the way back at KidStrong is called CASEL. So within ah SEL, I like to call this CASEL in cleats.
00:07:41
Speaker
And the the first tool that they aim to accomplish within kids is called ah self-awareness. Very common practice and it's talked a lot about, but here's how to really get these teenagers who are ah so stuck in the their their cortex, right, their their brain is not fully developed,
00:08:02
Speaker
that we can aim to bring some mindfulness to mindfulness practice to practice and help them ah ah recognize their emotions, recognize their strengths as an athlete. What is their wheelhouse level setting on their skill set and what gaps do they have between where they currently are in their skills and where they want to go.
00:08:24
Speaker
And there is so much emotional growth within acknowledging that you are here, you want to be here. Now I can start to look at my actions and to be aware of, okay, are my actions leading towards this ideal, this goal self that I've just created in my mind?
00:08:43
Speaker
so During our warm-up. This is my favorite tool. If you've known me or followed me for a long time, you know that I love the warm-up. If you were one of my athletes, you know that I love the warm-up and you probably hate me a little bit about but hey, it was a a memorable moment for you. So within our warm-up, there's a lot of pillar work.
00:09:03
Speaker
right Laying down on the ground, lifting our legs up, focusing on our trunk, that also challenges our flexibility. So yes, we are working on getting a big strong trunk for change of direction, but we're also checking in some self-awareness on our ankle ah tightness, our calf tightness, our hamstring tightness to see how it was affected before the from the previous practice.
00:09:27
Speaker
So something to consider. And then me as a coach, I don't want them to just go through the motions during their warmup. I'm going to call out how does it, I'm not telling them how it feels. I'm asking them, hey, how's that feel?
00:09:39
Speaker
So if I see somebody with uneven flexibility within the right and and left leg, then I step in and give them a self-check and hey, how's it feel? I don't tell them that the one leg is is tighter than the other.
00:09:53
Speaker
I observe it and then see if they can go into their body and then feel this imbalance. So love the warm-up for our self-awareness.
00:10:04
Speaker
And then we get into our self-management.
Impulse Management Techniques
00:10:08
Speaker
and this is think about impulse control self-regulation under pressure i've had plenty of athletes in my career that lost tempers in crucial moments and made mistakes aggressive active aggressively on the field and then they went into the pen penalty box throughout the length of my sport lacrosse coaching career, coaching defense, I had the decision, okay, well, they're in the penalty box.
00:10:37
Speaker
I need to coach the defense on the field. So rather than trying to shape this behavior in that moment in the box, and neglect the athletes that needed me manned down on the field, I introduced, at practice, when it's a a teachable moment, self-management technique with box breathing, right? Four in, hold for four.
00:10:59
Speaker
Four out, hold for four. Box breathing, pun intended, they're in the penalty box. You just owe me five box breaths. Hopefully that's that 30-second penalty that then we can get you back on the field and get you what doing what you need to do, want to do to help the team.
00:11:18
Speaker
So self-management tools are introduced during practice. that then I can stress. So that could be before four minutes of conditioning or break it up with one minute of dead sprints into box breathing and then finish strong with another sprint, and another the rep at breathing.
00:11:37
Speaker
You're going to lose kids focus at the time, but we aim to be repetitive with the tool.
Team Dynamics and Accountability
00:11:42
Speaker
One of my favorites, and it's very visual. And now for me as a coach, who's leading 40 plus dudes, it's it's five finger breathing. This is from KidStrong again. so reaching this hand out, I'm creating the number five here.
00:11:55
Speaker
I'm going to trace my five fingers as I go up my thumb, I'm breathing in, then breathing out as I trace down my thumb. Now tracing up on the index finger, I'm breathing up,
00:12:07
Speaker
Breathing out on the way down. So if box breathing, which can be hidden if they're not using their hands to actually draw our box, now I can get my five fingers up and I'm in and out.
00:12:19
Speaker
And guess what? Thrown this at the penalty box guys. They're varsity athletes. They think this little thing is embarrassing, but depending on the severity of their misconduct on the field,
00:12:32
Speaker
Guess what we get to do? More embarrassing stuff, so I'm less likely to repeat the behavior. So they'll hold on to that one. Five fingers, it's sticky. it remember They'll remember it for when they' their kid needs some guidance here.
00:12:46
Speaker
So self-management ah within that, I love to lean into the conditioning and see, I test guys. I had this um amazing athlete. He's going to be a senior in college, still playing lacrosse right now.
00:13:00
Speaker
And it was November during our fall ball, and we were doing some change in direction, some lateral speed and agility. And to avoid an Ampi-Turner and to get even reps on our left and our right, I asked them on their change direction, face me the entire time, face the parking lot or face the scoreboard.
00:13:19
Speaker
So very deliberate so we're even with our left and our right change of direction. Well, my buddy here that I'm referencing, he was that Ampi-Turner. He did right change of direction, right change of direction, right change direction.
00:13:33
Speaker
So he was just running in circles and his left was not getting any love. Well, during our rest period, after the first ah speed and agility, I gave him the cue, direction. Hey, face me the entire time.
00:13:47
Speaker
So as simple and subtle like that. Well, it was November. Grew that mustache. Not looking pleasant. i it's it It's a blonde mustache, which doesn't match the the the top of my head here. So...
00:14:02
Speaker
Yeah, he made a a colorful comment about my mustache and in my mind I'm like, okay, you just effed everybody. So line it up again and we did a few more reps just to make sure that he was getting even with his left side. So a little thing like that, poor self-management at the time that his team then had to pay for His transgressions, similar to the experience on the field in a game. If the temper was lost, your team would have to work harder to make up for that.
00:14:35
Speaker
So just calling that out.
Leadership in Warm-ups
00:14:37
Speaker
And that's low so social awareness. So the next ah next step we're going here. So we have self-awareness, self-management, and then it's social awareness.
00:14:47
Speaker
Interpersonal awareness. Dependency, mutual accountability are different ways to frame this. But for the first time in a lot of these guys' career, their performance relies on somebody else.
00:14:59
Speaker
So my performance on the field and in team sport relies on you and your performance in a team sport. Even what's seemingly individual sports like swimming, there's team points associated with it.
00:15:11
Speaker
So you may not be winning your race, but the higher within a competition that you can finish gets more points for your team and you're working towards that. So... that's ah That's an example. But social awareness, I'm aware, self-aware of my abilities.
00:15:27
Speaker
I'm aware of how my my decisions affect others around me. And it's also cuing in on my words. So this is where I start to hand off leadership opportunities during our warm-up and our counting especially.
00:15:41
Speaker
So I lean a lot into a military military style count. So one, two, three, one. So if we're doing pushups, for example, we're going to start up on the up position.
00:15:54
Speaker
As if one leader who leads us through it, he's going to say, one, they're going to go down in their pushup. Two, they're going to push up. Three, they're going to go down in the pushup. And then the whole team yells out,
00:16:06
Speaker
The number of reps we are, one. So one, two, three, four. Excuse me. One, two, three, two. One, two, three, three. So even the guys mess it up. I mess it up too. That's okay.
00:16:17
Speaker
So um I'm handing off this and then I start to see how socially or self-conscious aware they are, right? If they're they're socially aware and they're looking around to see who's actually doing this or who's not counting,
00:16:33
Speaker
then hey, good thing. Then it's on them to call them out. Usually the seniors are are attuned by this point and they feel when guys aren't counting and they know more pushups are coming if we're not meeting coach's expectations.
00:16:48
Speaker
So we get that. If they're so quiet within the count, And they're they're just afraid of what their their senior peers might think of them. Hey, they are more self-conscious than socially aware. They're more worried about themselves than how their their performance affects the others.
00:17:06
Speaker
So lean a lot into that. And then I i step in and mentor within the moment. I can give them a ah soft cue like louder or, hey, we can't hear you. Or ah Jim on the end, he's not here and he's lost.
00:17:18
Speaker
So aiming to tell them different things, it could be somebody else's performance that's leaning in, like Jim over there who's not doing the push-ups, or it can be simple, hey, if they're too self-conscious, then, a little bit louder, can't hear you.
00:17:33
Speaker
So little things like that to help them get out of their own heads. Are they lifting their athletes up or are they pulling them down? So sometimes we integrate JV and varsity at practice.
00:17:46
Speaker
this and This is a smorgasbord of freshmen and seniors together, guys that have been playing for a long time or guys that are new to this level or new to the sport altogether. A lot of people in Texas find lacrosse for the first time at the high school level because they're Yeah, whatever.
00:18:02
Speaker
Cut from basketball, fall out of love with baseball, and you get the greatest sport of all time. Bias. So, yeah, and I want guys to be able to assess the energy of the team and then lift them up versus pulling them down.
00:18:18
Speaker
All of this carries over to the game.
Building Resilience on the Sidelines
00:18:22
Speaker
for something that I refer to as the science of the sidelines. Guys are going to make mistakes on the field. They're going to be self-critical on each other, knowing that they let themselves down, they let their team down.
00:18:36
Speaker
But now how is my bench reacting? I want high socially aware guys, if they start to lift them up, knowing that, hey, we got another opportunity, we need the next play.
00:18:47
Speaker
Whenever we give up a goal, I've instilled the mindset with my team good teams answer. So with that, it's the next face-off. It's the next play-up.
00:18:58
Speaker
So no matter what happened, we get the opportunity to answer because that's what good teams do. And guess what? We're a good team. So establishing that and utilizing that in practice, if a defense does make a mistake, there is another opportunity to it. I don't want the the quicksand to fall into it.
00:19:16
Speaker
If offense makes a turnover, guess what? You have a whole lot of yardage to get aggressive and aim to get the ball back. Similar in in defense in basketball.
00:19:28
Speaker
You see at the NBA level, guys run down simple layups and they're able to get it. That is the the urgency. and the intensity and tensities that I can bring to practice at a social awareness level between the whistles make someone aware not only of their effort and how it's negatively affecting their opportunity to get playing time but to highlight their effort and how it's negatively affecting the team and then Reinforce the good when guys do hunt down that that turnover and get it back going the other way and be aggressive Within their offense when they get the opportunity that transition is a heartbreaker for other teams So I want this sideline to then be supportive not when a negative things happen bring the whole squad up socially so
00:20:21
Speaker
Awesome tool there. And then this this is one of my favorites. I call it motivation drill. This is from when I was in college. I had two coaches. One was a dictator. One, his first coaching opportunity, 28 years old, and he was coaching at the high school level before. He brought a lot of high school drills to us.
00:20:40
Speaker
And this motivation drill, I thought it was the stupidest thing. Of all time. Because we're out there yelling at each other and i thought we were just making a fool. But I was more self-conscious.
00:20:51
Speaker
I didn't give the drill a chance. But now that I look and reflect on that, I'm like, man, there is so much gold here. So what it is, athlete one, and I'll i'll throw some B-roll in here. Athlete one, groups of five at least.
00:21:03
Speaker
One line on the 10-yard line, one on the football goal line. So 10 yards apart, you're going to sprint 10 yards across to your team. If you're sprinting, urgency. You're pushing it as hard, as fast as you can.
00:21:18
Speaker
If you're not up, then your voice is up. So you're hooting and hollering. You're yelling at their names. Let's go, Jim. Let's go. and we're we're clapping and we're motivating. And then I will high five the other guy on the other end. he sprints across and we're just going back and forth.
00:21:35
Speaker
Alright, so we got a little motivation drill. So we're sprinting 10 yards, decelerating 10 yards. What I got him focused on is a big power step. So a plyo start, we're getting in our A-frame.
00:21:47
Speaker
And I want an aggressive step backwards to drive forward and get some momentum. For lacrosse, I'm seeing how these guys are going to set up and start with their slides. So they're playing defense, guarding athletic position.
00:22:01
Speaker
I want a big power. Plyo step backwards to propel them forwards. Starting in the A-frame, big drive backwards. Motivation drill, getting loud, getting excited. Seeing leaders lead.
00:22:13
Speaker
So this is great for self-awareness, checking the energy, self-management. Am I putting forth the urgency, the energy that my team needs for this 60 seconds of sprints?
00:22:26
Speaker
60 seconds Chicago time. Shout out Luke. I don't really keep a timer. I want to gauge the energy and see if the other guys can gauge the energy as well. So we're sprinting 10 and then we're decelerating 10 and getting back at the end of the line.
00:22:40
Speaker
Shout out to Derek Hansen's 10 and 10. Now I'm checking in on the energy. I'm seeing the leadership. It's going to start high and it's going to wane about 60 seconds.
00:22:51
Speaker
And then if it's low, I let them keep going. And then I call out to the captains or pick a ah leader on the team to say, hey, you feel that. So now creating some social awareness and we're we're focusing on their words to, all right, let's bring it up. Let's go, go, go.
00:23:09
Speaker
So then when they change the the energy and the intensity and get it back on track, reinforce it. kill the drill and and get him back, but highlight, hey, that energy.
00:23:20
Speaker
That's similar to the waves that I experienced within the coaching the sidelines on sports, especially with a lacrosse that is, it's just so fast. And I mean, three goals can happen within 30 seconds. It's so quick.
00:23:34
Speaker
So we can turn that tide by, it's not artificially creating energy. It's really just leaning into my team when I need them the most. So the science of the sidelines, say there was that goal given up and good teams answer.
00:23:51
Speaker
And I'm one of the 10 dudes on the field. And all of a sudden I hear 30 guys from the sideline cheering my name. Jim, you got it. Jim, let's go. Jim, next play.
00:24:03
Speaker
There we go. So as a coach, what's my cue? I don't turn to them and say, all right, bring it up. That's not going to work. they're gonna be still stuck in their head like, yeah, whatever.
00:24:14
Speaker
The cue is already established from practice, just like box breathing. I yell, hey, motivation drill. So turn to them, motivation drill. And then there they start to hoot and holler, get up for a faceoff guy, get up for the defense, get up for the offense, and they allow the energy to really reinforce where good teams answer.
00:24:35
Speaker
So powerful tool, but that took reps, programming, stress, and reinforcement in this social-emotional leadership realm to prepare for that moment during the game.
00:24:48
Speaker
All right. So... This is now the next phase here. So we've just a quick rundown. We had self-awareness, we had social awareness, self-management, and now relationship skills.
Strengthening Team Bonds
00:25:00
Speaker
And i mean, this this is what it's all about at the high school level. 3.5% of high school athletes go on to play college. One point something, let alone to D1, that's not a lot.
00:25:13
Speaker
Especially here in Texas, these lacrosse guys, they are here for each other. And it is something special if we do it right. Remember forever the night that they played the Titans, right?
00:25:26
Speaker
that's That's the opportunity we have to really bring these bonds together. So a lot of shared suffering, a lot of conditioning, a lot of partner work to help build these relationships. Shout out Raph Ruiz. love manual resistance strength training on the field.
00:25:42
Speaker
I don't have access to a weight room. Manual resistance strength training on the field. You are your teammates' weights. So... You can't help but really develop a bond.
00:25:55
Speaker
We're in these awkward clamshell ah positions, manner-resisted butterfly, manner-resisted flies with our pecs, manner-resistant bicep curls, just bringing some shop towels out to it.
00:26:08
Speaker
I got a hold and just pull up. So we're getting close, we're getting hands-on, and we're starting to build those bonds together. I avoid things like wheel wheelbarrows, anything that's going to risk shoulder here.
00:26:21
Speaker
I'm not mad at farmers' carries, but I teach them how to ah set up within the farmers' carries. So we're getting close contact. we're We're having some fun with it. It's challenging them athletically. It's challenging their conditioning.
00:26:36
Speaker
And then ah nothing develops, and this is from my pal Luke Summer, nothing develops a relationship and the intensity and the all-out effort like a foot race.
00:26:50
Speaker
So... Just line them up. Hey, it could be farmers carry foot race. It could just be wrap around the goals. So if I get two two lines, ah one on each side of the goal, you got to go to the other end of the goal. You got to wrap around it. So there's some potential hit checks, some potential conflict, right, around the other opposite goal. And then we're we're sprinting all the way back.
00:27:13
Speaker
So maybe I'm getting 150 out yards. against somebody else, but then I have plenty of rest time before my next sprint. So that's relationship skills. It could be offense, defense.
00:27:25
Speaker
It could be seniors and freshmen versus the middle class. Mix it up, have some fun with it, and ah build those relationships. Sometimes, and shout out Coach Andrew Mitchell, if he he was at my NSCA program,
00:27:39
Speaker
ah and NSCA national conference presentation, I introduced some of these tools and to during relationships building time, I like to also work on self-management to see how they react when something isn't fair.
00:27:54
Speaker
Again, I'm trying to stress test to see where their emotions go during winning and losing. I'm gonna see how they react and respond to referees when there's a bad call against them during practice so I can shape and reinforce that great behavior.
00:28:11
Speaker
So what Coach Mitchell ran into, i had two 45-pound plates. We did ah a ah relay race, just plate pushes on the turf. I had two 45-pound plates.
00:28:23
Speaker
One slid very well. Coach Mitchell's did not. So I had a 12 year old versus big strong Coach Mitchell pushing each other, roll if we're watching on the YouTubes.
00:28:35
Speaker
but And go. So speed, speed, we're motivating. i can apply motivation drill. Little hustle. you Don't you coach for a living? All right, Kate is beating you, dude. Draw. There we go.
00:28:46
Speaker
So it's reinforcing, good I and E drive, push pull. got it, you got it, you got it, you got two one, and time. an idiot. Jacqueline, thank you for working into the example.
00:29:01
Speaker
You did just say something negative about yourself. How would you enforce the teammate? If Andrew was having those same problems, how would you communicate to your teammate? You got it. There you go.
00:29:11
Speaker
and So now I heard that, integrate. So how would she talk to a teammate? That's how we need her to talk to to herself. This is all intentional here. Everything is intentional.
00:29:22
Speaker
So we get this opportunity. Now there's a drill that is unfair. Jacqueline chose to internalize that. I step and intervene as a coach. Some kids be like, that's not fair. That one slides.
00:29:33
Speaker
You got this eight-year-old just toasting this professional coach. What's up? It was all intentional. So putting them in situations that I can then shape and reinforce great behavior. And this 12-year-old just absolutely smoked Coach Mitchell.
00:29:47
Speaker
And then it turned into a learning lesson. How did Mitchell react? Oh, that's not fair. No, no, no. No, he had he had great character. And then his partner who he did must out muscle friction and Newton's laws hand that off to her and then she hit a brick wall.
00:30:05
Speaker
And in her response... We got the opportunity to shape it. Let's just say that. So that's an example. Now we're where seeing how they respond to each other. Coach Mitchell lifted her up, encouraged her like a great leader should.
00:30:19
Speaker
So that's that's a test as much as is a a shaping opportunity and then also a reinforcement opportunity if done correctly. So shout out Coach
Responsible Decision-Making Under Pressure
00:30:29
Speaker
Mitchell. And the last one here is theme within SEL is is responsible decision making.
00:30:36
Speaker
Responsible decision making on the field. Responsible decision making during practice. Responsible decision making off the field. In preparation for practice. Off the field.
00:30:47
Speaker
Post game. Off the field. Off season. Where I can lean into and prepare for my moment coming up or make an easy decision that won't necessarily put me on the best track, potentially.
00:31:03
Speaker
So responsible decision making and we need coaches. This is where we need to be the model. It it it is no it is not acceptable to do the old do as I say, not as I do.
00:31:16
Speaker
Coach, you are responsible for modeling the behaviors from leadership to how you take care of yourself, ah from showing up on time, from putting in work outside of practice to then help benefit them.
00:31:30
Speaker
All of it, everything that you will ask someone else to do, you are responsible for modeling that behavior and then shaping what they need to and then reinforcing it when they they get locked in.
00:31:42
Speaker
So ah ultimately, We're building trust by modeling great behavior, which then puts more weight towards our words when they step outside of behaviors and actions that are off track from accomplishing their goals or the team goals.
00:31:59
Speaker
They now can aim to course correct. So responsible decision making. And I think of this as as smart choices under pressure.
00:32:12
Speaker
We're developing an intrinsic motivation. I'm encouraging them to make the right choice, not because I don't want to get in trouble. I'm making the right choice because it's the right thing to do for myself, for my team.
00:32:28
Speaker
and And that's the goal, is to connect it to themselves and the team. They may start out by saying, hey, going to make the right choice because that's what Coach Tex would do.
00:32:40
Speaker
Okay, well, I want to remind them that they're making the right choice for themselves. What I want to avoid is I'm not going to do this because I don't want to get in trouble.
00:32:52
Speaker
That's not responsible decision-making. So as a leader, we aim to define the expectations. the rules, we model the behaviors that are in line with those expectations of my team, I shape when they get off track, and i reinforce when they course correct back on track or they're doing the right thing.
00:33:14
Speaker
I got a lot of kids that that lead by example, and I was one of those guys. But then what is going on internally? It's my responsibility as a coach to still figure that out.
00:33:25
Speaker
Are they doing this for themselves and the team, or are they doing this because they don't want to get shamed? They don't want to get in trouble. That's not the right thing. So aim to, even if they are leading by example all the freaking time, I want to try to peel those layers back and then see what are their drivers within their there self-management and their decision-making.
00:33:50
Speaker
Hopefully we can aim to correct it to the proper self and social awareness and really build this team together. So... Guys, I've talked a lot here.
00:34:00
Speaker
I really got specific with the sport of lacrosse in the journal article. This is just a general, and I gave some lacrosse examples.
Applying SEL Beyond Sports
00:34:09
Speaker
um But these tools can be applied no matter the sport, even if you're a strength coach, even if you're a parent. What i love, and every time I have a friend that is jumping on old bull or they so they get into training, I ask them, or they're buy building a house or buying a new house, I ask them about a garage gym.
00:34:29
Speaker
because they are modeling the behavior and the expectation for their kids that fitness and strength training is a part of their lives. This is normal from that kid growing up and and seeing it the friends hitting weights in the garage.
00:34:46
Speaker
That's normal to them versus weird. So love to see the the behaviors defined and modeled by the parents and then their actions are reinforcing it. So when their kids step up, they're not just saying, hey, I'm going to lift weights so I don't get in trouble or I'm going to run so I don't get in trouble or get embarrassed.
00:35:06
Speaker
That's not great motivation. I'm going to run. going to lift weights because I get the opportunity to do it with mom and dad. going to run. going to lift weights because it's going to make me better. I'm going get my friends involved.
00:35:18
Speaker
in our garage gym because that's what's going to separate the good from the great. then And and that's a lot that's a special thing. So I reinforce every time somebody is getting on track with fitness or building a house, i I aim to get that garage gym going because you are effectively doing the same thing as coach. You're establishing an expectation, you're modeling behavior, and then you're helping just normal across the board.
00:35:44
Speaker
That's a big thing. so Yeah, a lot of shout outs to here. Thanks to a lot of friends. I threw in some B-roll. this is ah This is a fun topic to talk about. I've been exploring it for a long time.
00:35:56
Speaker
I really get to deep dive in a new course that I'm putting out, both lecture and written. ah So that's that's a good time. If you want that, listen.captainsandcoaches.com. Like, subscribe to the podcast, all that fun stuff.
Conclusion and Engagement Invitation
00:36:12
Speaker
getting some lecture sweat over here, getting excited. And yeah, we'll we'll be doing more of these episodes where it's it's me learning new stuff, exploring it in presentations and topics and just...
00:36:26
Speaker
having ah fun how I apply it at practice and give you those tools on the podcast. So if you want to know more, just hit me up on Instagram. I'm always there. Thank you for tuning in. Appreciate each and every one.
00:36:40
Speaker
Bye. And see.