For Episode 100, I’m joined again by Cali Hinzman — long-time friend, first-ever podcast guest, and someone who always brings honesty, perspective, and just enough pushback to make the conversation better.

We get into a topic that shows up everywhere leadership exists: what happens when people protect egos instead of telling the truth. From sport to law enforcement to everyday life, we talk about the danger of “fantastic lies,” the feedback loops that either speed up growth or stall it out, and why honest correction is one of the greatest responsibilities a coach or leader carries. We also unpack meeting people where they’re at, giving grace without lowering standards, and the real cost of creating environments where comfort matters more than truth.

This one is raw, funny, reflective, and full of real-world leadership lessons. Episode 100 felt like the right time for a conversation like this.

*NEW* Education - Captains & Coaches course, "Why They're Not Listening - Coaching Today's Athlete": http://listen.captainsandcoaches.com [http://listen.captainsandcoaches.com/]

Training - Old Bull Program - 7 Day Free Trial - https://bit.ly/old-bull-train

C&C Merch - shop.captainsandcoaches.com [https://shop.captainsandcoaches.com/]

100 - Fantastic Lies, Hard Truths, & the Cost of Protecting Egos w/ Cali

Confidence doesn’t grow in a straight line. Tex breaks down the four stages of confidence every athlete and leader experiences on the path to real leadership.

Inspired by a story from Bert Sorin, this lesson centers around a simple but powerful leadership tool: the mirror. When athletes stop blaming others and start evaluating themselves honestly, self-awareness becomes the foundation for growth.

Many athletes believe confidence should constantly increase as they improve. But in reality, confidence often drops when awareness increases—and that uncomfortable stage is where real leadership development begins.

In this episode, we explore:

• The 4 stages of confidence and competence
• Why self-awareness builds stronger leaders
• The leadership trap of blind confidence and ego
• Why most athletes quit leadership growth in Stage 2
• How captains can use daily reflection and feedback to improve their leadership

You’ll also get a simple weekly leadership action plan that captains, athletes, and coaches can apply immediately.

If you want to develop leaders who take responsibility, stay coachable, and model the standard for their teams, this episode is for you.

Hold the mirror. Tell the truth. Lead better.

*NEW* Education - Captains & Coaches course, "Why They're Not Listening - Coaching Today's Athlete": http://listen.captainsandcoaches.com [http://listen.captainsandcoaches.com/]

Training - Old Bull Program - 7 Day Free Trial - https://bit.ly/old-bull-train

C&C Merch - shop.captainsandcoaches.com [https://shop.captainsandcoaches.com/]

099 - The 4 Stages of Confidence Every Athlete & Leader Must Understand

What if the problem in youth sports isn’t that kids aren’t training hard enough…
but that we’re training them wrong?

In this episode, Tex sits down with performance coach Jeremy Frisch [@jeremy_frisch17 [https://www.instagram.com/jeremy_frisch17/]] to unpack why early dominance can be a false positive, why puberty is the great equalizer, and why rough-and-tumble play might be the missing ingredient in modern athlete development.

From wrestling in the basement to obstacle courses in the gym, Jeremy makes the case that athleticism isn’t built through adult-style workouts at age 8 — it’s built through movement literacy, physical play, controlled chaos, and learning how to lose.

They dive into:

 * Why “Stop Training Kids Like Pros” should be a movement
 * How play-based training builds speed, coordination, and confidence
 * The danger of early specialization and tournament culture
 * Why some kids dominate early… then disappear
 * How to coach late bloomers without losing them
 * The maturity shift that changes everything in middle school
 * And how to create environments where kids actually want to come back

This episode is for coaches, parents, and leaders who care more about long-term development than short-term trophies.

Because resilience isn’t programmed. It’s wrestled for.

And sometimes the best training plan starts with tag, tackle dummies, and letting kids be kids.

*NEW* Education - Captains & Coaches course, "Why They're Not Listening - Coaching Today's Athlete": http://listen.captainsandcoaches.com [http://listen.captainsandcoaches.com/]

Training - Old Bull Program - 7 Day Free Trial - https://bit.ly/old-bull-train

C&C Merch - shop.captainsandcoaches.com [https://shop.captainsandcoaches.com/]

098 - Rough & Tumble: Raising Resilient Youth Athletes w/ Jeremy Frisch

Being the loudest voice on the field doesn’t make you a leader—it makes you noise. Tex breaks down why loud does not equal leadership and introduce a simple, powerful framework every team captain needs: The 3 T’s of Team Communication—Tone, Target, and Timing.

You’ll learn how great captains hold teammates accountable without disrespect, communicate with clarity instead of volume, and lead in the moment, not just when things go wrong. This episode gives captains practical “daily reps” they can apply immediately in practice and games to earn trust, improve performance, and raise the standard of the entire team.

If you’re a team leader who wants to be heard—and actually make your teammates better—this one’s for you.

*NEW* Education - Captains & Coaches course, "Why They're Not Listening - Coaching Today's Athlete": http://listen.captainsandcoaches.com [http://listen.captainsandcoaches.com/]

Training - Old Bull Program - 7 Day Free Trial - https://bit.ly/old-bull-train

C&C Merch - shop.captainsandcoaches.com [https://shop.captainsandcoaches.com/]

097 - LOUD ≠ Leadership

What does twenty years of service actually cost your body — and what can you do about it before the bill comes due?

In this episode of the Captains & Coaches Podcast, I sat down with Rebecca Rouse and Joel Del Rosario, co-founders of Machine Strength, a human performance company built for the tactical and first responder world. Rebecca brings the coaching expertise. Joel brings the lived experience — including surviving an IED strike in 2007 that nearly ended his career over a decade early.

Together they're doing something most people in their world aren't — talking honestly about recovery. Not just the physical side, but the sleep, the stress, the mobility work nobody makes time for, and the mindset shifts that separate the people who make it to retirement healthy from the ones who don't make it there at all.

*NEW* Education - Captains & Coaches course, "Why They're Not Listening - Coaching Today's Athlete": http://listen.captainsandcoaches.com [http://listen.captainsandcoaches.com/]

Training - Old Bull Program - 7 Day Free Trial - https://bit.ly/old-bull-train

C&C Merch - shop.captainsandcoaches.com [https://shop.captainsandcoaches.com/]

096 - Recovery Nobody Talks About w/ Rebecca Rouse & Joel Del Rosario

Ever started working on a skill and suddenly felt like you were performing worse instead of improving? That’s not failure — that’s the learning process doing exactly what it’s supposed to do. In this episode, we break down why performance often drops right after coaching, feedback, or technique changes, and how that frustrating phase is actually the gateway to mastery.

You’ll learn the four stages of skill development, why confidence crashes before it climbs, and how elite athletes push through the uncomfortable middle stage where most people quit. Whether you’re a coach, athlete, or leader, this episode will help you reframe struggle as progress and give you a mental model you can use to train smarter, stay patient, and build real competence.

Key Takeaway: Feeling worse doesn’t mean you’re regressing — it means you’re becoming aware. And awareness is where improvement begins.

*NEW* Education - Captains & Coaches course, "Why They're Not Listening - Coaching Today's Athlete": http://listen.captainsandcoaches.com  

Training - Old Bull Program - 7 Day Free Trial - https://bit.ly/old-bull-train

C&C Merch - shop.captainsandcoaches.com [https://shop.captainsandcoaches.com/]

095 - Why You Get Worse Before You Get Better

Coach Ashley Kowalewski [@ashleykowalewski [https://www.instagram.com/ashleykowalewski/]], LSU Volleyball's Strength & Conditioning Coach, joins us in the depths of Death Valley. AK's coaching philosophy centers on two powerful concepts. Quiet reminders, those moments she echos the gentle but powerful guidance. Then Lighthouse leadership, providing awareness and direction without controlling the journey, offering bumpers to guide athletes toward their goals while giving them the autonomy to navigate their own path.

In this conversation, we explore:

 * Why AK hasn't put a barbell on her athletes' backs all semester—and why they're jumping higher than ever
 * How quiet reminders help athletes see themselves accurately when past coaching has distorted their self-image
 * The lighthouse model: guiding athletes away from danger while letting them choose their course
 * Why relationship-building creates buy-in that no program design ever could
 * The difference between standards and expectations in high-performance environments
 * The power of autonomy in driving athlete intent and ownership

If you're a coach who believes connection comes before correction, this conversation will resonate. Sports don't teach lessons. Coaches do. And AK is proof that when you lead with people first, performance follows.

*NEW* Education - Captains & Coaches course, "Why They're Not Listening - Coaching Today's Athlete": http://listen.captainsandcoaches.com [http://listen.captainsandcoaches.com/]

Training - Old Bull Program - 7 Day Free Trial - https://bit.ly/old-bull-train

094 - Quiet Reminders & Lighthouse Leadership w/ Ashley Kowalewski

Why do athletes execute perfectly in practice… but freeze under pressure?

In this episode of the Captains & Coaches Podcast, we break down one of the most misunderstood challenges in coaching: athletes aren’t always being defiant — sometimes their brain simply isn’t ready yet.

Coach Tex McQuilkin dives into cognitive development through the lens of sport, unpacking how athletes learn, why teenagers struggle with abstract strategy, and how stress can cause even elite performers to regress during competition. Using real coaching examples across multiple sports, this episode explores how coaches can shift from correcting behavior to developing decision-making, emotional regulation, and confidence.

Because great coaching isn’t just about teaching the play — it’s about developing the brain running it.

*NEW* Education - Captains & Coaches course, "Why They're Not Listening - Coaching Today's Athlete": http://listen.captainsandcoaches.com [http://listen.captainsandcoaches.com/]

Training - Old Bull Program - 7 Day Free Trial - https://bit.ly/old-bull-train

093 - Coach the Brain, Not Behavior

Why are today's most skilled athletes struggling to play together?

In this conversation, mental performance coach Vinny Malts [@coachvinnymalts [https://www.instagram.com/coachvinnymalts/]]—known as "the player whisperer" for his work with NHL, ECHL, and elite youth hockey players—breaks down the hidden crisis in team sports: we're creating individual wizards who can't think collectively.

In this episode, you'll discover:

 * The mental effort paradox: Why today's athletes are working harder than ever but appearing to try less
 * High standards, high love: The critical element most sports parents are missing (and how it's damaging their kids)
 * The collective intelligence gap: Why analytics and skills coaches are making teams slower, not faster
 * Tone, Target, Timing: Vinny's three-part framework for peer-to-peer feedback that actually works
 * Chaos before order: Why great leaders let the mess happen first instead of forcing structure
 * The diner menu effect: How too much information is paralyzing decision-making on the field

This conversation challenges the entire individual development model that's dominated youth sports for the past decade. Vinny reveals why the "backyard ball" mentality isn't just nostalgic—it's neurologically superior for team performance.

Whether you're coaching high school athletes, managing club teams, or navigating the pressure-cooker of competitive youth sports as a parent, this episode will fundamentally shift how you think about player development, team chemistry, and what it actually means to lead.

The game hasn't changed. But the players have. And if we don't adapt our approach, we're going to lose the very spirit that makes team sports transformational.

*NEW* Education - Captains & Coaches course, "Why They're Not Listening - Coaching Today's Athlete": http://listen.captainsandcoaches.com  

Training - Old Bull Program - 7 Day Free Trial - https://bit.ly/old-bull-train

092 - Reclaiming Team Spirit w/ Vinny Malts

Teenage athletes will fail. That’s not the problem. The problem is when failure becomes identity.

In this episode, Coach Tex breaks down the four types of failure every teen must learn to navigate—calibration, climb, consequences, and circumstances—and explains how to coach athletes to see mistakes as feedback instead of personal judgment. You’ll learn how to give athletes language, structure, and perspective so “I failed” never turns into “I am a failure,” and effort, confidence, and ownership can actually grow.

Perfect for coaches, parents, and leaders who want tougher, more resilient athletes—without yelling, shaming, or lowering standards.

*NEW* Education - Captains & Coaches course, "Why They're Not Listening - Coaching Today's Athlete": http://listen.captainsandcoaches.com [http://listen.captainsandcoaches.com/]

Training - Old Bull Program - 7 Day Free Trial - https://bit.ly/old-bull-train

091 - Teaching Teens the 4 Types of Failure | Why “I Failed” ≠ “I’m a Failure”

The Fast-Track to Becoming a Game-Changing Leader.

Discover how the greatest minds in sports build winning cultures. Dive into raw, no-nonsense conversations with elite coaches and captains who've been in the trenches. We're not here for fluff – expect:

 * Hard-hitting strategies to skyrocket your team's performance
 * Insider tips on building unbreakable team chemistry
 * Career-defining lessons from both victories and failures

Whether you're calling plays or taking the field, we're building you up, not breaking you down. 

Ready to raise your game? Let's do it together.

Press play. Listen and lead with purpose. Become the leader your team needs.

www.captainsandcoaches.com [https://www.captainsandcoaches.com/]

Tex McQuilkin

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