Maybe—a simple word drawn from an ancient Chinese parable that challenges how we judge life's wins and losses.

In this episode, you'll hear the story of a farmer whose horse runs away, then returns with seven wild horses, then causes his son to break his leg, which saves him from war. At every turn, the neighbors rush to label each event as disaster or blessing. The farmer? He simply says: "Maybe."

This isn't about indifference or avoiding reality. It's about recognizing that we're often standing too close to the canvas to see the full picture. We don't know the consequences of our misfortunes, and we don't know the consequences of our good fortunes.

For coaches navigating the extremes—the crushing losses, the unexpected wins, the chaos of leading others—this ancient wisdom offers a powerful tool: the ability to feel the ends without letting them define you.

*NEW* Education - Captains & Coaches course, "Why They're Not Listening - Coaching Today's Athlete": http://listen.captainsandcoaches.com [http://listen.captainsandcoaches.com/]

Training - Old Bull Program - 7 Day Free Trial - https://bit.ly/old-bull-train

085 - The Ancient Rule of 'Maybe'

We train our athletes' bodies religiously—but what about their minds?

In this episode, I sit down with Shenna Jean [@shennajean [https://www.instagram.com/shennajean/]], founder of Make One Day Happen, to explore why the mental training gap in athletics is costing our athletes performance, confidence, and long-term well-being. Shenna brings sound visualization, breathwork, and nervous system regulation to everyone from Division I teams to pro athletes to corporate leadership groups—and she's pulling back the curtain on what actually works.

Here's the reality: 90% of Olympians use visualization as a core part of their success, but the rest of the athletic world? They're being told to "just go visualize" without any real training on how to do it. It's like telling someone to get stronger without giving them a program or a barbell.

In this conversation, we cover:

 * Thought Defense strategies - Zone defense (gratitude & affirmations) vs Man-to-Man defense (anti-thoughts for specific limiting beliefs)
 * Why we're over-meditated and under-visualized - The difference between mindful awareness and conscious creation
 * The 90-second emotion rule - How to separate body sensations from the mental narratives we attach to them
 * Shame vs Guilt in coaching - Why leading with shame keeps athletes in fight-flight-freeze instead of flow state

This episode is for coaches who want to:

 * Give their athletes mental training tools that actually work
 * Understand how to regulate their own nervous system so they can lead with composure
 * Help athletes build intrinsic motivation instead of performing out of fear
 * Create team cohesion faster in the age of transfer portal and NIL

*NEW* Education - Captains & Coaches course, "Why They're Not Listening - Coaching Today's Athlete": http://listen.captainsandcoaches.com [http://listen.captainsandcoaches.com/]

Training - Old Bull Program - 7 Day Free Trial - https://bit.ly/old-bull-train

084 - Thought Defense: How to Train the Mind w/ Shenna Jean

You don't have lazy athletes. You have athletes who don't feel ownership over who they're becoming.

In this episode, we break down the exact language progression that transforms teenage effort from something you have to demand into something they generate from within. Using the "I Want → I Am" framework, you'll learn how to guide athletes through seven identity-building stages that turn fragile motivation into unshakable self-leadership.

This isn't about yelling louder or running harder conditioning. It's about understanding that thoughts become reality—and the language we use as coaches either builds athletes who own their effort or creates performers who'll never push beyond our presence. If you want your team to actually give a sh*t this year, start here.

What you'll learn:

 * Why modern athletes shut down when coaches use old-school motivation tactics
 * The 7-stage identity ladder from "I want" to "I am" (with coaching cues for each)
 * How to use writing, vocal awareness, and visualization to anchor commitment
 * The difference between confidence-building and outcome-chasing
 * Why helping athletes level-set their current skill is more powerful than hype

Language shapes identity. Identity drives behavior. This is how you raise the game.

*NEW* Education - Captains & Coaches course, "Why They're Not Listening - Coaching Today's Athlete": http://listen.captainsandcoaches.com [http://listen.captainsandcoaches.com/]

Training - Old Bull Program - 7 Day Free Trial - https://bit.ly/old-bull-train

#CoachingPhilosophy #AthleteMotivation #YouthSportsCoaching #TeenageAthletes #LeadershipDevelopment #CoachBetter #TransformationalCoaching #SportsCoaching #CoachEducation #TeamCulture #HighSchoolSports #CoachingMindset #AthleteDevelopment #CaptainsAndCoaches #ModernCoaching

083 - 7 Language Shifts That Build Athletes Who Own Their Effort

In this fireside chat from the NSCA Tactical Strength & Conditioning Conference, I sit down with Alex Morrow—creator of MOPs & MOEs (Measures of Performance & Measures of Effectiveness)—to unpack how leaders in both the military and sport can stop confusing activity with impact.  

We dig into the “Nazareth Syndrome” (why your own people overlook your expertise), the real story behind ACFT evolution, and why training culture breaks down when organizations chase metrics instead of mission.

If you’ve ever felt the tension between looking good on paper and doing what actually works in the real world, this episode will sharpen how you measure, communicate, and lead.

*NEW* Education - Captains & Coaches course, "Why They're Not Listening - Coaching Today's Athlete": http://listen.captainsandcoaches.com [http://listen.captainsandcoaches.com/]

Training - Old Bull Program - 7 Day Free Trial - https://bit.ly/old-bull-train

#MilitaryLeadership #HumanPerformance #MOPsAndMOEs #LeadershipDevelopment #StrengthAndConditioning #TacticalAthlete #MilitaryFitness #PerformanceCulture #CoachDevelopment #CaptainsAndCoaches

082 - Military Measures of Performance & Effectiveness w/ Alex Morrow

What if the most powerful coaching tool you have isn’t your program, your system, or your intensity — but your expectations?


In this episode, I break down the Pygmalion Effect and explain how the beliefs coaches hold — often unconsciously — shape athlete confidence, identity, and performance. 

We’ll explore how expectations show up in daily coaching behaviors, why athletes rise (or stall) accordingly, and how to intentionally coach in a way that unlocks growth instead of capping potential.

*NEW* Education - Captains & Coaches course, "Why They're Not Listening - Coaching Today's Athlete": http://listen.captainsandcoaches.com [http://listen.captainsandcoaches.com/]

Training - Old Bull Program - 7 Day Free Trial - https://bit.ly/old-bull-train

#CoachingPsychology #AthleteDevelopment #SportsLeadership #CoachBetter #YouthSports #SportPsychology #LeadershipInSport #BuildConfidentAthletes #CaptainsAndCoaches #HighStandardsHighSupport #PygmalionEffect

081 - The Expectation Effect: How Coaches Shape Performance

What if the key to handling criticism isn't thicker skin—but a clearer sense of who you are?

In this episode, I sit down with Army Ranger veteran and combat sports coach Roman Mori for a raw conversation about dealing with hate—both the kind that comes from keyboard warriors and the kind that whispers in your own head right before you step into the arena.

Roman doesn't sugarcoat it. He's been there: jumping out of helicopters, competing on the world stage, and building a social media presence that attracts both massive respect and relentless criticism. But here's what separates him from most—he's figured out how to filter what matters from what doesn't.

In this episode, you'll hear:

 * Why Roman calls them "little bitch thoughts"—and how he handles the mental game mid-competition when doubt creeps in
 * How failure at every major turning point in his life became the launchpad for his greatest achievements
 * Why you should never take advice from someone you wouldn't ask for it in the first place
 * His philosophy on authenticity in a world obsessed with curated perfection

This one hits different if you:

 * Coach athletes who struggle with social comparison or negative self-talk
 * Lead young people navigating the toxic side of social media
 * Want to build genuine confidence (not fake bravado) in yourself or your team
 * Need permission to stop listening to people who've never done what you're trying to do

Roman's message is simple but powerful: Failure is only the endpoint if you decide it is. Everything else is just a stopping point.

So whether you're dealing with critics in the comments, doubters in your circle, or that voice in your own head—this episode will give you the tools to keep moving forward.

*NEW* Education - Captains & Coaches course, "Why They're Not Listening - Coaching Today's Athlete": http://listen.captainsandcoaches.com [http://listen.captainsandcoaches.com/]

Training - Old Bull Program - 7 Day Free Trial - https://bit.ly/old-bull-train

#MentalToughness #CombatSports #LeadershipDevelopment #JiuJitsuLifestyle #AthleteMindset #OvercomingFailure #CoachingAthletes #VeteranStories #StrengthAndConditioning #SocialMediaReality #CompetitionMindset #ResilienceTraining #ArmyRanger #NogiJiuJitsu #AuthenticLeadership #RomanMori

080 - How to Handle Haters w/ Roman Mori

John Wooden said it best. Without intentional guidance, athletics can reinforce the wrong traits just as easily as the right ones.

In this episode, we explore the coach's critical role as the architect of morality in sport. Drawing on sport psychology research, wisdom from legendary coaches like John Wooden and Pat Riley, and the good book—"A good name is more desirable than great riches"—we break down what it truly means to develop athletes of character, not just competence.

You'll discover:

 * The three pillars of morality in sport: Fair Play, Good Sporting Behavior, and Character
 * Why prosocial behaviors strengthen team cohesion and athlete well-being
 * The coach's four non-negotiable responsibilities: Define, Model, Shape, and Reinforce morality
 * How to address hazing, bullying, and toxic team culture with zero tolerance
 * Practical strategies to build moral resilience that transfers beyond competition

The bottom line: Wins fade. Records disappear. But the character you develop in your athletes lasts a lifetime—in their marriages, careers, and leadership.

Your athletes will become who you model, not who you preach. This episode equips you to build the kind of athletes people are proud to follow.

*NEW* Education - Captains & Coaches course, "Why They're Not Listening - Coaching Today's Athlete": http://listen.captainsandcoaches.com [http://listen.captainsandcoaches.com/]

Training - Old Bull Program - 7 Day Free Trial - https://bit.ly/old-bull-train  [https://bit.ly/old-bull-train]

#CaptainsAndCoaches #LeadershipDevelopment #CoachingWithPurpose #CharacterBuilding #TransformationalCoaching

079 - Sports Don't Build Character, They Reveal It

Ever wonder what it takes to coach at one of college lacrosse's most storied programs?

In this episode, Notre Dame Lacrosse Defensive Coordinator, Ryan Wellner shares what makes the Fighting Irish elite—and it's not what you think.

Here's what you'll discover:

Learning from Legends: The game-changing advice Ryan received from Jack Moran (the winningest high school coach in history) and Tommy Gill that he still carries today—including why every coach should carry a pen to practice.

The Peer-Led Philosophy: Why Ryan believes peer-led teams are the best teams, and how Notre Dame's captain selection process ensures accountability flows both ways.

Culture, Community, Character: Inside Notre Dame's team philosophy and how Head Coach Kevin Corrigan creates daily practices around gratitude, service, and doing the right thing when no one's watching.

Coaching the Modern Athlete: Practical strategies for meeting athletes' needs for autonomy, competence, and relatedness—without sacrificing standards or accountability.

Standards That Never Flatline: Ryan's philosophy that championship standards don't stay level—they rise every single day and should be "impossible to catch."

Whether you're coaching youth sports or leading at the collegiate level, this conversation delivers actionable insights on building connectivity, developing leaders, and creating cultures where athletes thrive.

The bottom line? It's not what you know as a coach—it's what they know. It's not what you can do—it's what they can do.

Tune in to learn how one of college lacrosse's premier programs develops championship athletes on and off the field.

*NEW* Education - Captains & Coaches course, "Why They're Not Listening - Coaching Today's Athlete": http://listen.captainsandcoaches.com [http://listen.captainsandcoaches.com/]

Training - Old Bull Program - 7 Day Free Trial - https://bit.ly/old-bull-train  [https://bit.ly/old-bull-train]

#LacrosseCoaching #CollegeLacrosse #LeadershipDevelopment #TeamCulture #CoachingEducation #NotreDameLacrosse #AthleteLeadership #PeerLedTeams #CollegeCoaching #LacrosseLife

078 - Peer-Led Teams Win Championships w/ Notre Dame Coach Ryan Wellner

Today's athletes aren’t motivated, led, or developed the same way you were—and if you’ve ever felt like your coaching isn’t landing the way it used to, this episode is your wake-up call.

We break down exactly why modern athletes shut down, why old-school methods no longer work, and how you can evolve into the kind of coach today's generation actually responds to.

You'll get to listen to the first lesson of the *NEW* Captains & Coaches course, "Why They're Not Listening - Coaching Today's Athlete": http://listen.captainsandcoaches.com

Preview the communication upgrades that turn frustration into connection, buy-in, and leadership. If you're ready to coach athletes the way they need—not just the way you were taught—this episode is your starting point.

Training - Old Bull Program - 7 Day Free Trial - https://bit.ly/old-bull-train  [https://bit.ly/old-bull-train]

#ModernCoaching #AthleteDevelopment #SportsLeadership #CoachingStrategies #CoachEducation #HighSchoolCoaches #SportsPsychology #AthleteMotivation #YouthSportsCoaching #CaptainsAndCoaches

077 - Stop Coaching the Way You Were Coached

What does it take to build a championship program when there's nothing there?

In this episode, Tex sits down with Coach Lindsey Munday, who's done one of the rarest things in coaching – built winning lacrosse programs from absolute zero not once, but twice. As a player, she helped Northwestern grow from a brand-new program to back-to-back national champions in just four years. Now, as head coach of USC Women's Lacrosse and the USA Women's Lacrosse team preparing for the 2028 Olympics, she's doing it all over again.

Lindsey brings a unique perspective to leadership, having experienced it at every level – team captain, 10-year Team USA veteran, and a head coach who took the job at just 26 years old with nothing but vision and belief.

What You'll Learn:

 * The First Game Strategy – Why Lindsey scheduled the #1 team in the country for USC's very first game, and how tracking progress against the best became a tangible measure of growth
 * Building Buy-In From Nothing – How to get athletes to commit to a vision when there are no wins, no history, and no proof it will work
 * The Captain Selection Process – USC's application-based voting system that creates honest conversations about leadership gaps and builds self-awareness across the entire roster
 * Olympic-Level Leadership – What it takes to build team cohesion with just 12 athletes scattered across the country, competing in a brand-new format of the game
 * Skill vs. Style – How to balance creative expression and athletic freedom with fundamental soundness and team structure

This conversation is packed with practical insights on building culture, developing leaders, and preparing athletes for life beyond the game.

Connect with Coach Lindsey Munday: Instagram: @lindsaymunday [https://www.instagram.com/lindseymunday/] USC Women's Lacrosse: @usctrojanslax [https://www.instagram.com/usctrojanslax/]

Whether you're building a program from scratch, developing young leaders, or just trying to create better buy-in from your team, this episode gives you the blueprint.

Training - Old Bull Program - 7 Day Free Trial - https://bit.ly/old-bull-train
Education - Why They're Not Listening: Coaching the Modern Athlete - http://listen.captainsandcoaches.com [http://listen.captainsandcoaches.com/]

076 - Building Champs From Scratch w/ Lindsey Munday

The Fast-Track to Becoming a Game-Changing Leader.

Discover how the greatest minds in sports build winning cultures. Dive into raw, no-nonsense conversations with elite coaches and captains who've been in the trenches. We're not here for fluff – expect:

 * Hard-hitting strategies to skyrocket your team's performance
 * Insider tips on building unbreakable team chemistry
 * Career-defining lessons from both victories and failures

Whether you're calling plays or taking the field, we're building you up, not breaking you down. 

Ready to raise your game? Let's do it together.

Press play. Listen and lead with purpose. Become the leader your team needs.

www.captainsandcoaches.com [https://www.captainsandcoaches.com/]

Tex McQuilkin

Shows