What if the most powerful coaching tool you have isn’t your program, your system, or your intensity — but your expectations?


In this episode, I break down the Pygmalion Effect and explain how the beliefs coaches hold — often unconsciously — shape athlete confidence, identity, and performance. 

We’ll explore how expectations show up in daily coaching behaviors, why athletes rise (or stall) accordingly, and how to intentionally coach in a way that unlocks growth instead of capping potential.

*NEW* Education - Captains & Coaches course, "Why They're Not Listening - Coaching Today's Athlete": http://listen.captainsandcoaches.com [http://listen.captainsandcoaches.com/]

Training - Old Bull Program - 7 Day Free Trial - https://bit.ly/old-bull-train

#CoachingPsychology #AthleteDevelopment #SportsLeadership #CoachBetter #YouthSports #SportPsychology #LeadershipInSport #BuildConfidentAthletes #CaptainsAndCoaches #HighStandardsHighSupport #PygmalionEffect

081 - The Expectation Effect: How Coaches Shape Performance

What if the key to handling criticism isn't thicker skin—but a clearer sense of who you are?

In this episode, I sit down with Army Ranger veteran and combat sports coach Roman Mori for a raw conversation about dealing with hate—both the kind that comes from keyboard warriors and the kind that whispers in your own head right before you step into the arena.

Roman doesn't sugarcoat it. He's been there: jumping out of helicopters, competing on the world stage, and building a social media presence that attracts both massive respect and relentless criticism. But here's what separates him from most—he's figured out how to filter what matters from what doesn't.

In this episode, you'll hear:

 * Why Roman calls them "little bitch thoughts"—and how he handles the mental game mid-competition when doubt creeps in
 * How failure at every major turning point in his life became the launchpad for his greatest achievements
 * Why you should never take advice from someone you wouldn't ask for it in the first place
 * His philosophy on authenticity in a world obsessed with curated perfection

This one hits different if you:

 * Coach athletes who struggle with social comparison or negative self-talk
 * Lead young people navigating the toxic side of social media
 * Want to build genuine confidence (not fake bravado) in yourself or your team
 * Need permission to stop listening to people who've never done what you're trying to do

Roman's message is simple but powerful: Failure is only the endpoint if you decide it is. Everything else is just a stopping point.

So whether you're dealing with critics in the comments, doubters in your circle, or that voice in your own head—this episode will give you the tools to keep moving forward.

*NEW* Education - Captains & Coaches course, "Why They're Not Listening - Coaching Today's Athlete": http://listen.captainsandcoaches.com [http://listen.captainsandcoaches.com/]

Training - Old Bull Program - 7 Day Free Trial - https://bit.ly/old-bull-train

#MentalToughness #CombatSports #LeadershipDevelopment #JiuJitsuLifestyle #AthleteMindset #OvercomingFailure #CoachingAthletes #VeteranStories #StrengthAndConditioning #SocialMediaReality #CompetitionMindset #ResilienceTraining #ArmyRanger #NogiJiuJitsu #AuthenticLeadership #RomanMori

080 - How to Handle Haters w/ Roman Mori

John Wooden said it best. Without intentional guidance, athletics can reinforce the wrong traits just as easily as the right ones.

In this episode, we explore the coach's critical role as the architect of morality in sport. Drawing on sport psychology research, wisdom from legendary coaches like John Wooden and Pat Riley, and the good book—"A good name is more desirable than great riches"—we break down what it truly means to develop athletes of character, not just competence.

You'll discover:

 * The three pillars of morality in sport: Fair Play, Good Sporting Behavior, and Character
 * Why prosocial behaviors strengthen team cohesion and athlete well-being
 * The coach's four non-negotiable responsibilities: Define, Model, Shape, and Reinforce morality
 * How to address hazing, bullying, and toxic team culture with zero tolerance
 * Practical strategies to build moral resilience that transfers beyond competition

The bottom line: Wins fade. Records disappear. But the character you develop in your athletes lasts a lifetime—in their marriages, careers, and leadership.

Your athletes will become who you model, not who you preach. This episode equips you to build the kind of athletes people are proud to follow.

*NEW* Education - Captains & Coaches course, "Why They're Not Listening - Coaching Today's Athlete": http://listen.captainsandcoaches.com [http://listen.captainsandcoaches.com/]

Training - Old Bull Program - 7 Day Free Trial - https://bit.ly/old-bull-train  [https://bit.ly/old-bull-train]

#CaptainsAndCoaches #LeadershipDevelopment #CoachingWithPurpose #CharacterBuilding #TransformationalCoaching

079 - Sports Don't Build Character, They Reveal It

Ever wonder what it takes to coach at one of college lacrosse's most storied programs?

In this episode, Notre Dame Lacrosse Defensive Coordinator, Ryan Wellner shares what makes the Fighting Irish elite—and it's not what you think.

Here's what you'll discover:

Learning from Legends: The game-changing advice Ryan received from Jack Moran (the winningest high school coach in history) and Tommy Gill that he still carries today—including why every coach should carry a pen to practice.

The Peer-Led Philosophy: Why Ryan believes peer-led teams are the best teams, and how Notre Dame's captain selection process ensures accountability flows both ways.

Culture, Community, Character: Inside Notre Dame's team philosophy and how Head Coach Kevin Corrigan creates daily practices around gratitude, service, and doing the right thing when no one's watching.

Coaching the Modern Athlete: Practical strategies for meeting athletes' needs for autonomy, competence, and relatedness—without sacrificing standards or accountability.

Standards That Never Flatline: Ryan's philosophy that championship standards don't stay level—they rise every single day and should be "impossible to catch."

Whether you're coaching youth sports or leading at the collegiate level, this conversation delivers actionable insights on building connectivity, developing leaders, and creating cultures where athletes thrive.

The bottom line? It's not what you know as a coach—it's what they know. It's not what you can do—it's what they can do.

Tune in to learn how one of college lacrosse's premier programs develops championship athletes on and off the field.

*NEW* Education - Captains & Coaches course, "Why They're Not Listening - Coaching Today's Athlete": http://listen.captainsandcoaches.com [http://listen.captainsandcoaches.com/]

Training - Old Bull Program - 7 Day Free Trial - https://bit.ly/old-bull-train  [https://bit.ly/old-bull-train]

#LacrosseCoaching #CollegeLacrosse #LeadershipDevelopment #TeamCulture #CoachingEducation #NotreDameLacrosse #AthleteLeadership #PeerLedTeams #CollegeCoaching #LacrosseLife

078 - Peer-Led Teams Win Championships w/ Notre Dame Coach Ryan Wellner

Today's athletes aren’t motivated, led, or developed the same way you were—and if you’ve ever felt like your coaching isn’t landing the way it used to, this episode is your wake-up call.

We break down exactly why modern athletes shut down, why old-school methods no longer work, and how you can evolve into the kind of coach today's generation actually responds to.

You'll get to listen to the first lesson of the *NEW* Captains & Coaches course, "Why They're Not Listening - Coaching Today's Athlete": http://listen.captainsandcoaches.com

Preview the communication upgrades that turn frustration into connection, buy-in, and leadership. If you're ready to coach athletes the way they need—not just the way you were taught—this episode is your starting point.

Training - Old Bull Program - 7 Day Free Trial - https://bit.ly/old-bull-train  [https://bit.ly/old-bull-train]

#ModernCoaching #AthleteDevelopment #SportsLeadership #CoachingStrategies #CoachEducation #HighSchoolCoaches #SportsPsychology #AthleteMotivation #YouthSportsCoaching #CaptainsAndCoaches

077 - Stop Coaching the Way You Were Coached

What does it take to build a championship program when there's nothing there?

In this episode, Tex sits down with Coach Lindsey Munday, who's done one of the rarest things in coaching – built winning lacrosse programs from absolute zero not once, but twice. As a player, she helped Northwestern grow from a brand-new program to back-to-back national champions in just four years. Now, as head coach of USC Women's Lacrosse and the USA Women's Lacrosse team preparing for the 2028 Olympics, she's doing it all over again.

Lindsey brings a unique perspective to leadership, having experienced it at every level – team captain, 10-year Team USA veteran, and a head coach who took the job at just 26 years old with nothing but vision and belief.

What You'll Learn:

 * The First Game Strategy – Why Lindsey scheduled the #1 team in the country for USC's very first game, and how tracking progress against the best became a tangible measure of growth
 * Building Buy-In From Nothing – How to get athletes to commit to a vision when there are no wins, no history, and no proof it will work
 * The Captain Selection Process – USC's application-based voting system that creates honest conversations about leadership gaps and builds self-awareness across the entire roster
 * Olympic-Level Leadership – What it takes to build team cohesion with just 12 athletes scattered across the country, competing in a brand-new format of the game
 * Skill vs. Style – How to balance creative expression and athletic freedom with fundamental soundness and team structure

This conversation is packed with practical insights on building culture, developing leaders, and preparing athletes for life beyond the game.

Connect with Coach Lindsey Munday: Instagram: @lindsaymunday [https://www.instagram.com/lindseymunday/] USC Women's Lacrosse: @usctrojanslax [https://www.instagram.com/usctrojanslax/]

Whether you're building a program from scratch, developing young leaders, or just trying to create better buy-in from your team, this episode gives you the blueprint.

Training - Old Bull Program - 7 Day Free Trial - https://bit.ly/old-bull-train
Education - Why They're Not Listening: Coaching the Modern Athlete - http://listen.captainsandcoaches.com [http://listen.captainsandcoaches.com/]

076 - Building Champs From Scratch w/ Lindsey Munday

Stepping into an established program as a new coach? You're about to clash with teenagers who have their own "set ways" of doing things—and not all of them are productive. In this episode, Tex McQuilkin breaks down the counterintuitive truth that coaches who avoid setting firm boundaries aren't creating freedom for their athletes; they're creating insecurity and fear.

Drawing from 17 years of coaching experience across multiple programs, Tex explores why teenagers naturally resist authority, how past experiences with unhealthy boundaries shape their behavior, and what it takes to establish rules that actually stick.

In this episode, you'll learn:

 * The two types of boundaries every coach must enforce: non-negotiable moral boundaries (respect, trust, honesty) and personal safety/health boundaries (the rules that keep athletes physically and mentally healthy)
 * Why the "paradox of freedom" means athletes who can "do whatever they want" are actually the ones most likely to push back and act out—they're searching for structure
 * The critical importance of consistency—and why inconsistent enforcement teaches athletes to manipulate around the rules
 * Real stories from the field: the team captain who skipped warm-ups, the cursing rule that builds impulse control, and why stick placement matters more than you think

The Bottom Line: The more time you spend correcting behaviors and fighting resistance, the less time you have developing skills and winning games. But establishing boundaries requires courage—the courage to stand firm when teenagers test you, to be consistent when it's uncomfortable, and to prioritize their long-term character development over short-term ease.

Training - Old Bull Program - 7 Day Free Trial - https://bit.ly/old-bull-train
Education - Why They're Not Listening: Coaching the Modern Athlete - http://listen.captainsandcoaches.com [http://listen.captainsandcoaches.com/]

075 - Why Boundaries Create Freedom, Not Restriction

Youth sports are hemorrhaging athletes at age 12—and the system that's supposed to develop them is actually driving them away. 

In this episode, Dr. David Yeager, psychology professor at UT Austin and author of 10 to 25: The Science of Motivating Young People, breaks down exactly what's broken and how coaches can fix it.

Order 10 to 25: Science of Motivating Young People Book Now! [https://amzn.to/3LNa9kb] - https://amzn.to/3LNa9kb

Dr. Yeager isn't just a researcher—he's in the trenches coaching his kids' baseball and basketball teams, and he's spent his career studying how adults can actually reach and motivate young athletes. In this conversation, we're tackling the hard truths about travel ball, the "joysticking" problem that's robbing kids of development, and why the enforcer and protector coaching mindsets are failing our athletes.

What You'll Learn:

 * Why hockey is seeing a 20% decline in 12-14 year olds despite increased youth participation
 * The three coaching mindsets and why only one actually works
 * How U.S. Soccer turned around their development system (and why other sports haven't followed)
 * The "Neurobiological Incompetence Model" and why we're wrong about teenage brains
 * Chip Engelland's trust-building approach with NBA players (and how to apply it to your team)
 * Why "wise feedback" beats the compliment sandwich every time
 * How to reframe stress so athletes thrive under pressure instead of avoiding it
 * The self-transcendent purpose approach that makes delayed gratification actually work

Dr. Yeager's work with the FUSE program is changing how teachers communicate with students across Texas, and his insights on coaching will change how you show up for your athletes. If you've ever wondered why kids fall out of love with sports or how to create an environment where they actually want to work hard, this episode is for you.

Training - Old Bull Program - 7 Day Free Trial - https://bit.ly/old-bull-train
Education - Why They're Not Listening: Coaching the Modern Athlete - http://listen.captainsandcoaches.com [http://listen.captainsandcoaches.com/]

074 - Why Kids Quit Sports & How to Fix It w/ Dr David Yeager

"Sports don't teach lessons—coaches do."

Captains & Coaches Founder Tex McQuilkin recently joined Mikki O'Neil on the Purpose After Sports Podcast to reflect on his journey from captain to coach. In this compelling conversation, Tex shares his superhero origin story—how rejection from high school football coaches accidentally sparked a movement when he and nine teammates started a lacrosse team in football-obsessed Katy, Texas. 

From breaking his leg eight days before his first college game to accidentally injuring an athlete as a novice coach, Tex reveals every pivotal moment that shaped his transformational approach to leadership development. Now a global presenter who's trained tip of the spear operators and coached across 16 countries, Tex continues empowering athletes and coaches to lead with authenticity, purpose, and connection over perfection.

Training - Old Bull Program - 7 Day Free Trial - https://bit.ly/old-bull-train
Education - Why They're Not Listening: Coaching the Modern Athlete - http://listen.captainsandcoaches.com [http://listen.captainsandcoaches.com/]

073 - Purpose After Sports

The title reflects their journey. Two coaches who've always operated outside the traditional establishment and finding belonging with those who saw the world differently. They became chosen family through the trenches—staying gold even as seasons changed and forced them to grow up.  

In this episode, Tex and Luke dive into the psychology of identity—who you are versus who others expect you to be. They explore empathy as the foundation of coaching, the danger of labels and stereotypes, and why understanding someone's perspective changes everything. Luke breaks down practical tools for building self-awareness, filtering criticism, and teaching athletes to find their swagger regardless of external noise.  

This conversation is about bridging divides, breaking faulty feedback loops, and staying true to your code even when the world tries to define you differently.

KEY TOPICS:
- Self-discrepancy theory
- Breaking faulty feedback loops created by negative coaching
- The Charles Barkley filter
- Curiosity + skepticism = the most powerful coaching combination
- Body language, swagger, and acting as if
- Parenting lessons that translate to coaching
- Operating outside the establishment and building chosen family through coaching

Training - Old Bull Program - 7 Day Free Trial - https://bit.ly/old-bull-train
Education - Why They're Not Listening: Coaching the Modern Athlete - http://listen.captainsandcoaches.com [http://listen.captainsandcoaches.com/]

072 - The Outsiders - Luke Summers - Part II

The Fast-Track to Becoming a Game-Changing Leader.

Discover how the greatest minds in sports build winning cultures. Dive into raw, no-nonsense conversations with elite coaches and captains who've been in the trenches. We're not here for fluff – expect:

 * Hard-hitting strategies to skyrocket your team's performance
 * Insider tips on building unbreakable team chemistry
 * Career-defining lessons from both victories and failures

Whether you're calling plays or taking the field, we're building you up, not breaking you down. 

Ready to raise your game? Let's do it together.

Press play. Listen and lead with purpose. Become the leader your team needs.

www.captainsandcoaches.com [https://www.captainsandcoaches.com/]

Tex McQuilkin

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