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Stay Sparked #46 "Slowing Down"
5 Plays2 years ago
How can we break out of our patterns of rushing around? What is the benefit to prioritizing stillness? How can mindfulness make every moment richer?
LINKS DISCUSSED:
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HOSTS
BETSY FINKLEHOO is a healer of massage therapy, CranioSacral and Dharma Coaching. She is an 8 year burner and has spent the last several years seeped in the personal development world, cultivating her passion for transformation and growth. Her recent project, The Power Affirmation Journal and virtual group empowers women to cultivate self awareness and healthy habits so they can live in greater freedom, mind body and spirit.
http://poweraffirmation.com/
Click here to get a FREE affirmation for Stay Sparked Listeners!
HALCYON is full-time Love Ambassador. He is the founder of Hug Nation YouTube channel and daily zoom gratitude circles. He is co-founder of the Pink Heart Burning Man camp and the 1st Saturdays project for people experiencing homelessness. In his free time he coaches individuals on how to live joyfully and authentically. His other podcast is "Hard on the 80's."
http://JohnStyn.com
JANUS REDMOON is a 10-time Burner, and has spent the last several years as an advocate for psychedelic medicine research and treatment. He is the founder and CEO of NuWorld Nutritionals, a nutritional supplement company providing mushroom-based, all-natural products to improve and maintain health for both body and mind. (Use code "SPARKED" for 10% off)
http://www.nuworldnutritionals.com
MASSIVE Thank you to Dub Sutra for their beautiful opening music. Check out their incredible music catalogue online.
https://dubsutra.com
Recommended
Transcript
Inspiration & Mindfulness
00:00:02
Speaker
Welcome to Stay Sparked.
00:00:04
Speaker
On this show, we explore how to stay inspired in the modern world through the most profound lessons from Burning Man, relationships, entrepreneurship, psychedelics, spirituality, travel, and more.
00:00:17
Speaker
On today's episode, we talk about slowing down.
00:00:20
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We talk about how to move mindfully when the world says to go fast.
00:00:25
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And we discuss some tools that we can use to get ourselves into a place where slowing down becomes easier.
00:00:32
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Enjoy the episode.
Introduction & Gratitude
00:00:34
Speaker
Hello and welcome to Stay Sparked.
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We are three longtime friends that have been sharing inspiring conversations and now we are here to share those inspiring conversations with you as a way to spread some sparks of inspiration.
00:00:48
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I'm Betsy.
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I'm Halcyon.
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And I'm Janice.
00:00:55
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We always love starting our conversations with gratitude.
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So Janice, what are you grateful for today?
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I may have likely used this one before, but I'm feeling or expressed this one before, but I'm feeling grateful for community in this moment.
00:01:14
Speaker
We've had a lot of friends dropping in with us since my partner and I have a new baby and we're also getting ready to move that we've had a lot of friends reaching out to us being like, hey, I just saw this like
00:01:24
Speaker
New spot available or like, you know, friends getting together for a meal train and delivering us meals.
00:01:29
Speaker
Like we've had a number of friends in the last week drop off some really good food for us.
00:01:34
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And it's been good to have some social connection and activity interact interactivity with our friends.
00:01:39
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So feeling grateful for community.
00:01:41
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Yeah.
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Big shout out to community.
00:01:44
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How about you?
00:01:46
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How are you grateful for today?
00:01:48
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I am feeling grateful for an opportunity that I had to sit in on some friends creating music and recording music and just witnessing the mastery and the patience of just doing take after take and the trust that the musicians and singers had as they would make suggestions or offer different ways of doing it.
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I just was just so inspired by the experience.
00:02:12
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what it takes to really create something of, you know, as close to perfection as possible.
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So I'm grateful for that inspiration.
00:02:20
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Amazing.
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I'm going to share my gratitude for
00:02:26
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some friends and our listeners, actually.
00:02:29
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I want to give some shout outs actually to some of the feedback I've been getting from those of you out there that are dear friends that have been listening and letting us know that these conversations have been supportive to you.
00:02:41
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So a big shout out to Tanya Raven, who just continues to fan my slash our flames for this podcast and for the other work that we're doing.
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And I just
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Love you so much.
00:02:52
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And also a big shout out to Charlotte Proud, who is she actually is one of the co-producers of the music who opens our podcast here of Dub Sutra.
00:03:03
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So thank you for listening.
00:03:05
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And so grateful for your your love and your comments and your reviews really gives us the the fuel for our fire to keep going.
00:03:14
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So big shout out and gratitude for you guys out there.
00:03:16
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Thank you.
00:03:17
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Thanks.
00:03:19
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We love you.
Challenges of Slowing Down
00:03:21
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So we wanted to dive into a conversation today that seems relevant to the time that we're in of going into the winter.
00:03:30
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So we're in a seasonal shift and this is a conversation around slowing down and the value of unplugging.
00:03:39
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And how do we actually do that when we live in a very busy, fast paced world that a lot of times there's the environmental, um,
00:03:49
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situations don't always really provide that space to slow down, whether you are working a lot, if you're a parent, if you're a social creature, there's just a million things to do, tend to.
00:03:59
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So how do we slow down?
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How do we actually honor that need of our bodies and our spirits to be able to slow down?
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So I'd love to maybe just open up the dialogue from that.
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How do we do that?
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And why do we want to
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do that.
00:04:16
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If either of you guys have any sparks going to share, I'd love to hear.
00:04:21
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Yeah, this is a very pertinent topic for me in the moment, just due to the fact that my partner and I have a new baby and there's been so much going on with stuff that needs to be done that I've gotten to a point for the first time in my life where I've been pushing up against a sense of overwhelm.
00:04:43
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I guess you'd say like, like waking up and knowing that there's that to do list is very long.
00:04:50
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And, you know, after several days or weeks of that in a row, it's, you know, you get to a certain point where, you know, you can only, you can only take so, you can only take so much of this before it's like, all right, I need to unplug.
00:05:02
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I need to slow down.
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I need to take a break, but there's really no room or space for that seemingly apparently.
00:05:08
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And I think that's kind of the key.
00:05:10
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It seems like there's no room for that.
00:05:12
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Um, but you know, kind of coming to a place like, okay, so how do I, where do I, where do I squeeze this break in?
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Where do I squeeze this time for slowing down?
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Because sometimes you need time, like a day or what have you, a couple of days even, um,
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to really like unplug.
00:05:26
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So that is an inquiry that I'm really kind of sitting with these days and have come to, you know, some ideas on that.
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I saw a, a meme that said something like everything in nature happens with perfect timing.
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So anytime you're feeling anxious and rushed, it's because you're moving too fast.
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Mm hmm.
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Because we are nature.
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But that is a luxury of someone as I as I sit here with no kids and, you know, I work for myself.
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So the schedules that I'm adhering to are self created.
00:06:02
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And I think it's a much difficult, more difficult thing to to slow down when you've got lots of external people setting your timelines and your expectations on you.
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Or babies.
00:06:12
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Mm hmm.
00:06:14
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Yeah, when we live in the reality of all these things that do need to get done, like you're talking about this overflowing to-do list and also feeling like how that just, it just doesn't ever stop, really.
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There's just always more things to be doing.
00:06:29
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And so how do we actually put into our to-do list
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to be, right?
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What's the to be list?
00:06:37
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How do we actually honor that need to slow down by implementing these certain things?
00:06:42
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And I love what you said, Yanis, around
00:06:45
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perspective, the perspective of space, the perspective of time, right?
00:06:49
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And I get really fascinated by this, like the belief systems around never having enough time.
00:06:56
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Because when we really subscribe to that, then our subconscious mind starts to look for all the reasons why that's true.
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And then our schedule just gets fuller and fuller and fuller.
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And then we're just like overwhelmed and
00:07:08
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You know, I have a girlfriend of mine who she's been in this for years.
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She, she is very adamant about saying how busy she is.
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She talks about it all the time, how she has never has enough time and she wishes she had more time, but she just doesn't.
00:07:24
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And it is just a perpetuating story that she's telling herself.
00:07:29
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And I've, I've watched her, you know, to try to unwind that really takes effort to,
00:07:35
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to shift the internal programming around it.
00:07:38
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How can I start to see that there's, there is little bits of time and we start paying attention to like, Oh, I actually have time to relax.
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There's five minutes.
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We start to pay attention.
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Oh, I do have time.
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Then that starts to expand and grow and we can actually start to create more spaciousness.
00:07:54
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But I feel like that is a really big part of creating that.
00:07:58
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It starts from the inner belief around whether or not we have enough time or not.
00:08:04
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Totally agree.
00:08:04
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I think there's a lot of the attitudes around these things that just make such a big difference.
Redefining Productivity
00:08:10
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And another belief that I find myself caught in, I see people all the time, is that the objective being finishing your to-do list.
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I just need to keep rushing until I get things finished.
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But we're never finished.
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We're never, ever done with the to-do list.
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So having some sort of shift from...
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get to the finish line to do what I'm doing now, do what I'm doing now.
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And that kind of can help to slow down the urgency.
00:08:42
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I'm actually wearing a hat right now that says no urgency because I found myself so caught up in this subconscious kind of energy or pressure of like, what's next?
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What's next?
00:08:56
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What's next?
00:08:57
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What's next?
00:08:58
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And I've really been in the last 10 months really kind of really focusing on how often I'm thinking that and how often when I'm in any
00:09:07
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activity, even like sitting by the river, there's a part of my voice in my, my, my mind.
00:09:12
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It's like, we've got to get back.
00:09:14
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We've got to get back.
00:09:15
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And like, but there's not a reason.
00:09:17
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It's just a generalized pressure to move quickly and get things done.
00:09:23
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Yeah.
00:09:23
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And you know, it's so funny about that is what happens to our breath when we're thinking in that way, it's very likely short.
00:09:34
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Anxiety is like short, fast, shallow breaths, right?
00:09:37
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And it contributes to stress, you know?
00:09:41
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And so when we can start to be mindful around how we're breathing, that can slow things down and actually help to support the keep coming back.
00:09:57
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Yeah, that is a real quick.
00:09:58
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That's a that's a key point that I don't know that I would have come up with on my own.
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Just because that's where so many so many of the things start is with our breath.
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And so if you find whatever you're feeling and if you're like, oh, this, you know, whatever.
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Stop and have some sort of breathing, like 30-second drop in with yourself just to kind of catch your breath, literally catch your breath and just kind of bring it into like nice deep breathing.
00:10:25
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Maybe even like three deep breaths is a pretty good like reset to kind of like catch yourself and reorient to what kind of energy you're trying to operate with.
00:10:34
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Mm-hmm.
00:10:35
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Yeah.
00:10:35
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And in this question of the inquiry around how can we actually start to slow down when we live in a very busy world, 3D breaths takes less than 10 or 15 seconds.
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And it really does get your nervous system to slow down.
00:10:49
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And then you can keep moving.
00:10:50
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Yeah.
00:10:52
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Another, I think, tip along those lines is becoming aware, are any muscles flexing that are not involved in the current task?
00:11:04
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And I find all the time, if I can do that check, I'm like, oh, my face is a little tense.
00:11:08
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You know, I've got some clenching in my chest and my shoulders.
00:11:11
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Like all that I'm doing right now is driving.
00:11:14
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So why are so many muscles in a slight tension in them?
00:11:18
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And that kind of that's been a huge help for me to just like, OK, similar to the breath.
00:11:22
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It's like, oh, wait a minute.
00:11:23
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I'm I'm my my energy is way more tense than required right now.
00:11:30
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Yeah.
00:11:31
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And I think that that breathing helps you notice that, I think helps me notice that when I'm catching when I'm going into three deep breaths.
00:11:37
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And I actually have a longer breathing practice that I like to do is just that takes a couple of minutes.
00:11:43
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I don't know that I want to get into it now, but some other some other time perhaps, but it takes me a couple minutes of just like taking deep breath, holding it and then releasing it.
00:11:52
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And it goes a little longer every time.
00:11:53
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But by the time I'm done with that,
00:11:55
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my body is just fully
Sustainable Living & Self-Care
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relaxed.
00:11:58
Speaker
And I notice where I'm like gripping.
00:12:00
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I have a thing where I grip my leg for some reason when I'm like on the internet, I've caught myself like just, like just punching them.
00:12:06
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I'm like, why, why, what is that about?
00:12:08
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So that breathing helps us to kind of notice that and allows us to begin the process of, you know, getting to a point of slowing down.
00:12:17
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Yeah, I love how this conversation is unfolding.
00:12:19
Speaker
It's so inspiring, because we never know where these conversations are going to go.
00:12:23
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But it's really inspiring to consider that intention around slowing down and how it's directly related to the body, and how we can actually harness the power of the body and mindfulness in the body self awareness of our bodies of our breath, to be able to have a more graceful relationship to our schedules.
00:12:44
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And speaking of that, I'm sparked to almost go macro and then bring it down to the micro to the individual because –
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I'm reminded of when I was living in Los Angeles after 17 years of living in Los Angeles.
00:13:00
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It's one of those cities for my experience and a lot of other experiences as well that I've spoken to people about.
00:13:05
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It's one of those places that has an expiration date that kind of sneaks up on you.
00:13:08
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Like you love it on Monday and then you wake up on Tuesday like, what am I doing?
00:13:13
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Oh my God.
00:13:14
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Caught up in like
00:13:16
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I never thought twice about spending an hour and a half in traffic every single day to get to work for like seven miles away, something like that.
00:13:25
Speaker
But just like looking at our lives, like a lot of times our lives can have this like almost like this perpetual motion machine built into it that produces states of busyness, go, go, go, overwhelm, things like that.
00:13:40
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And we're just kind of on this hamster wheel of it.
00:13:44
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I think it's important to kind of,
00:13:46
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some point multiple times throughout our lives to really stop and look around like, is this my, is this the life that I want to be living?
00:13:52
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Because we can do, you can have all these practices, but it's almost like, you know, if you keep walking the same path and you keep falling into a manhole and you have to like pull yourself up out of it, after a certain point, you got to change your path.
00:14:05
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So it's important to, I think, to look at a big picture fairly frequently in your life and be like, okay, is this, is this what I want to be doing with my life?
00:14:13
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Is this the life I want to be living?
00:14:15
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And if not,
00:14:17
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recalibrate, refocus and reset.
00:14:20
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And you might find yourself in a position where it's like, yeah, you can, you can change things so that you don't get these influences that are, that are causing you this space of, you know, needing to slow down.
00:14:32
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Like if I'm needing to slow down for my life, maybe my life should be examined a little bit more.
00:14:36
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So I don't need to do these things so, so often.
00:14:40
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Mm-hmm.
00:14:41
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So powerful.
00:14:42
Speaker
I love that.
00:14:42
Speaker
Thank you for bringing that forward because, you know, it can be a very common thing to burn the candle at both ends, you know, and sometimes we can get stuck in that pattern for some time.
00:14:52
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It's like, I know I'm just going too hard and I'm pushing too fast, but then I don't know how to get out of it.
00:14:58
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And those are some very big questions to be asking.
00:15:01
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And I think they're important because if the pattern continues, then that just leads to burnout.
00:15:06
Speaker
And then you have to make the changes anyways, your body is going to force you
00:15:09
Speaker
to make the changes and so yeah being able to pull up and out and look at the bigger picture of our lives to see is this actually sustainable the way that i'm going yeah sustainability is a big question yeah like i have a friend who um
00:15:26
Speaker
She shared with me that she was going to take a vacation because she had to.
00:15:31
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She had gone like three years with working, working, working, and she got to a place of burning out and going like, I just have to go to the beach for a week.
00:15:38
Speaker
It's like I am like just so tired.
00:15:41
Speaker
I can't even...
00:15:42
Speaker
And on her vacation, she could barely enjoy herself.
00:15:45
Speaker
You know, it was like out of necessity to like have to take a vacation.
00:15:51
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And, you know, that was so hard to witness because, you know, that was my friend and she was really burning the candle.
00:15:57
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And I'm so thankful that now she has readjusted her life.
00:16:01
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She quit that job.
00:16:02
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She started to refocus her life in a way that was much more sustainable.
00:16:07
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And she's feeling better.
00:16:09
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you know, and I really took that as a role, which is a role model for me in that too, because I, now I really like to use preventative, um, preventative maintenance or preventative vacations in a way, you know, especially as a body worker, I do a lot of massage therapy and I'm using my hands a lot, using my body a lot.
00:16:28
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And traditionally it's not known to be a profession that has a lot of longevity, um,
00:16:33
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People have been known to hurt their joints or hurt their bodies.
00:16:38
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And so over my 17 plus years of doing this work, I've made it a point to make sure to take nice long breaks.
00:16:46
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Like I just took off for six weeks and was able to really simplify my work so that way I could have a rejuvenation to be able to do that.
00:16:56
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Of course, I feel very blessed to be able to do that.
00:16:59
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I know not everybody could take that, but sometimes a couple of days,
00:17:03
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can be the reset that we need to be able to support the longevity and the preventative burnout.
00:17:12
Speaker
Yeah.
00:17:12
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Yeah.
Embracing Downtime & Community Support
00:17:13
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I think there's, there's some of this goes back to that, the mindsets.
00:17:16
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I mean, you really have to make sure that your mindset is shifted so that you, you truly are valuing the slow down and the break.
00:17:24
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Because if I think there's a, there's a subconscious fear sometimes that if I slow down, I won't be productive enough.
00:17:31
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I won't get the things done.
00:17:32
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And so,
00:17:33
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Part of you wants to be relieved of the pressure, but there's another deeper side that does not really want the pressure to go away because we're afraid, who would we be without it?
00:17:42
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So you really got to, I think, work on your story as to creating value and around the quote unquote less productive times.
00:17:52
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I had a big shift in my life when I started putting on my to-do list and really changing the definition of productivity, things like time with my family that is now considered productive time.
00:18:03
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Because otherwise I would be stressed and like, I got to leave.
00:18:06
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I got to leave this dinner because I got to go work on that project.
00:18:09
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Like, wait, no, no, no, this project, this self-care, this slowdown in being present is on my to-do list.
00:18:19
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And asking for help too.
00:18:21
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I feel like that that's a really big one as well.
00:18:24
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You know, because there is a lot of pressure that is put on people, especially parents, single parents, you know, I know quite a few people that are doing the thing that you got to do to raise these children.
00:18:38
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And it's a lot.
00:18:39
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It's a
00:18:39
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big freaking deal to have the full-time career run the house make sure everybody's fed you're making sure that multiple mouths are fed you know tending to all of these things can be very overwhelming and so finding ways to be able to either hire help ask for help you know i don't i don't personally believe that we are really meant to or designed to do life in the way that
00:19:06
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so many people are having to do right now.
00:19:08
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You know, we're, we're tribal beings, you know, it takes a village to raise a family and so many people are doing it on their own.
00:19:15
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And so finding ways to ask for help, I think is really valuable.
00:19:18
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Yeah.
00:19:19
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Yeah.
00:19:19
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And on, on a similar note, it's important to realize like with, you know, with Betsy, you're talking about like taking this time, you know, away for yourself, being able to take six weeks to do that.
00:19:29
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Yes.
00:19:29
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On the one hand, that's a blessing.
00:19:31
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On the other hand,
00:19:33
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nobody's giving this to you.
00:19:35
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Like no, nobody's going to give you free time.
00:19:38
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Nobody's going to give you an opportunity to slow down.
00:19:40
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You're going to need to take this.
00:19:42
Speaker
You're going to need to make room in your life.
00:19:44
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No one, no one's going to give you a break on that.
00:19:47
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People give you stuff to do just by this naturally stuff.
00:19:50
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Like even like we got a, you know, dinner invite, you know, from some friends recently.
00:19:56
Speaker
And it was like, I love, yes, I love to,
00:19:59
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I would love to see you guys for dinner.
00:20:00
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And then that becomes another thing I have to do.
00:20:03
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I have to like make time for this.
00:20:04
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And it's just like, and there's that initial kind of like, Oh, this is like another thing, another small little stressor I need to manage my day.
00:20:12
Speaker
But then I also realized like, no, I can actually replace that quality time, social time, use that to replace.
00:20:18
Speaker
Cause we all have the same amount of hours in all of our days.
00:20:22
Speaker
And so like Halcyon was talking about like reprioritizing.
00:20:25
Speaker
Friend time is actually important.
00:20:27
Speaker
I need that in order to be able to attend to the other stuff.
00:20:31
Speaker
Like we had some friends over and my partner the other night was like, that was really actually, that kind of juiced me up getting some social interaction because she's not getting out of the house much these days with a new baby.
00:20:42
Speaker
So that was key to kind of create these windows for ourselves.
00:20:47
Speaker
Um, and one other thing, Halston, you mentioned before, like in your hat kind of reminds me, these are good reminders because it's easy to get caught up in the go, go, go.
00:20:57
Speaker
And I got all this stuff I got to do, you know, but having like a t-shirt that says no urgency on it or a hat that says no urgency on it.
00:21:04
Speaker
And sometimes I know that you might have a few of these things, whether it's a bracelet with the intention to like, whenever you kind of notice it, slow it out.
00:21:14
Speaker
I know friends with rings that they wear them or even they have gotten tattoos that say like little reminders
Mindfulness Tools & Presence
00:21:20
Speaker
or whatever.
00:21:20
Speaker
And it's just something that you can kind of see throughout your day to kind of like stop, remind you to breathe.
00:21:26
Speaker
Whether that could be like a sticky note around your house or whatever that just says breathe on it or relax or something like that.
00:21:36
Speaker
These things kind of become, on the one hand, they do kind of become, they're not motivational.
00:21:41
Speaker
They're just like reminders.
00:21:42
Speaker
So the motivation can kind of wane on occasion.
00:21:46
Speaker
But like, you know, I'm good enough.
00:21:47
Speaker
I'm smart enough.
00:21:48
Speaker
And gosh darn people like me.
00:21:49
Speaker
You can have that posted on your mirror, but that just becomes part of the scenery.
00:21:53
Speaker
But just a little simple something, relax, breathe, will remind you.
00:21:57
Speaker
It's not a motivation.
00:21:58
Speaker
It's a reminder to breathe and slow down.
00:22:00
Speaker
And I've used those before and they help a lot.
00:22:03
Speaker
Yeah.
00:22:04
Speaker
Yeah.
00:22:04
Speaker
And I think I'm someone who has T-shirts and stickers and hats constantly give me reminders of a phrase, a little like mantra thing that will kind of snap me back.
00:22:14
Speaker
And I encourage people to pay attention to which words resonate with you.
00:22:18
Speaker
You know, I, when I, sometimes someone mentioned to me, uh, no urgency.
00:22:23
Speaker
And it's just like, I felt in my body, this relaxation that the same words of like, slow down did not have the same effect on me.
00:22:29
Speaker
And so I made this hat and someone kind of said, well, you shouldn't make it negative.
00:22:33
Speaker
You know, it shouldn't be no urgency.
00:22:34
Speaker
You should say, and I was like, this phrase hit my body in a way that it resonated.
00:22:40
Speaker
So this is the message that I'm going to listen to and put stickers around.
00:22:45
Speaker
Yeah, I love that because you can check yourself because there's a certain frequency that urgency carries.
00:22:51
Speaker
Right.
00:22:52
Speaker
And we might kind of plug into that frequency of urgency.
00:22:56
Speaker
And because you have this reminder, you're like, oh, there's that frequency.
00:22:59
Speaker
I'm actually going to choose a different, a different dial.
00:23:02
Speaker
to retune the radio station to actually more mindfulness.
00:23:07
Speaker
And I think that this is a thread that oftentimes weaves throughout conversations.
00:23:12
Speaker
It's around mindfulness.
00:23:13
Speaker
How do we approach all these different things with mindfulness?
00:23:16
Speaker
And one of the other threads that we love to always come back to is Burning Man.
00:23:21
Speaker
And I feel like Burning Man is the ultimate place of FOMO.
00:23:26
Speaker
There's a million things happening in this one environment in a couple of mile radius.
00:23:33
Speaker
There is like so many things that you can be doing.
00:23:36
Speaker
And sometimes it can feel like your energy is stretched.
00:23:40
Speaker
Oh my God, I want to be there and I want to do this and I want to make sure to do that and da, da, da, da.
00:23:44
Speaker
And I've gone eight times.
00:23:46
Speaker
And the last time I went, the eighth time, I got the most amount of sleep.
00:23:52
Speaker
And it was actually the most fulfilling year I ever had.
00:23:55
Speaker
And I realized in previous years, I was just trying to do all the things, all the things, all the things, all the things, all the things.
00:24:04
Speaker
And then I burned myself out by the end of it.
00:24:05
Speaker
I was sick and all of the, you know, just stress that comes from feeling like I want to be in all the places all at the same time really contributed to less presence.
00:24:19
Speaker
as well.
00:24:20
Speaker
And so, yeah, thank you, Burning Man, for teaching me that sleep is really valuable and it can contribute to a more fulfilling experience.
00:24:30
Speaker
And I just love being able to use Burning Man as that training ground to recognize that self-care, slowing down, making time to just get really present can contribute to a more joyful life.
00:24:45
Speaker
Mm-hmm.
00:24:47
Speaker
I love how Halcyon always lights up a little bit when the words Burning Man get uttered on the podcast.
00:24:53
Speaker
You guys should have seen his face on the YouTube.
00:24:55
Speaker
It's like, woo!
00:24:55
Speaker
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:24:58
Speaker
Burning Man.
00:24:58
Speaker
He always gets a little star emoji.
00:25:01
Speaker
His face becomes like a half second.
00:25:03
Speaker
So that's great.
00:25:04
Speaker
Well, it's interesting.
00:25:05
Speaker
This topic of urgency and speeding up, slowing down, and Burning Man is –
00:25:11
Speaker
One thing that I have noticed in, you know, this yesterday was 10 months sober off intoxicants for me.
00:25:20
Speaker
And I noticed that I am spending more time with fewer people, you know, and kind of acknowledging like I'm not going to meet everybody.
00:25:31
Speaker
I'm not going to see everything and being more present and more active.
00:25:37
Speaker
I guess, you know, clear headed, able to, to, to let go of some of that kind of urgency stress and just drop into more present moments.
00:25:48
Speaker
Yeah, the idea of quality over quantity is kind of what we're talking about here.
00:25:55
Speaker
I think it's, you know, after all those times at Burning Man and I've been, there's definitely been times, I'm thankful that I got that download pretty early in my Burning Man attending career, where it was like, go, go, go, do all the things.
00:26:08
Speaker
And then getting to a point where like,
00:26:10
Speaker
Approaching, like knowing I'm going to be going for the next several years.
00:26:13
Speaker
It's like, all right, you know, next year I am going to go, go, go, go.
00:26:17
Speaker
I do want to see all the things.
00:26:19
Speaker
And then when I get home, I need to like detox for like a week of just like doing nothing for a week.
00:26:25
Speaker
And then also going there with the intention, like, you know, I'm going to really drop in with people and really take my time and don't need to see all the things.
00:26:32
Speaker
And one day I'm going to, I'm going to make a point to stay in camp all day and just kind of drop in with whoever I happen to run into.
00:26:39
Speaker
and having those experiences and they're both like fantastic in their own ways but we're talking about mindfulness
00:26:46
Speaker
as well.
00:26:46
Speaker
And really getting into the idea of embracing quality over quantity.
00:26:51
Speaker
Like I think, and there's a lot of people in our community who I think get that.
00:26:54
Speaker
And there have been some, a number of events that, you know, house parties that we've gone to where I will drop in with somebody for three hours at a party and just like, and not, and there's people milling all around, but we're able to really like drop in with each other and even almost have that.
00:27:11
Speaker
I've had this conversation a few times where like,
00:27:14
Speaker
I don't want to take up all your time.
00:27:15
Speaker
And the person's like, no, no, no, that's, I'm totally into it.
00:27:17
Speaker
Like what's happening right here right now.
00:27:19
Speaker
And being on the receiving end of that as well.
00:27:21
Speaker
Super juicy.
00:27:22
Speaker
That's, that's really where it's at.
00:27:23
Speaker
And that's true for life as well.
00:27:25
Speaker
Like that to-do list with 20 things on there, maybe we can reduce it to 10 and really give some attention and presence and mindfulness to that.
00:27:34
Speaker
And that we're going to personally, for me, I'm going to feel better at the end of the day, knowing that I gave my all to, you know,
00:27:43
Speaker
you know, all the smaller amount of things that it had to do, you know, as Clint Eastwood, Dirty Harry would say, like, you know, a man's got to know his limitations.
00:27:53
Speaker
True for women as well.
00:27:54
Speaker
So yeah, just respect your bandwidth and be like, okay, so I can't do 20 things and feel good at the end of the day and not feel drained.
00:28:05
Speaker
So maybe like
00:28:07
Speaker
respect that I might only have been were for 10 things.
00:28:10
Speaker
And that simplify, simplify, yes, absolutely.
00:28:15
Speaker
And, and I feel like meditation can really support that too.
00:28:19
Speaker
And you mentioned something before we started recording around, you know, if you how did it go if you have 30 minutes, you was a 30 minutes, an hour, if you're, everyone should meditate for 30 minutes a day, unless you are super busy, then you need to meditate an hour a day.
00:28:37
Speaker
And, you know, it takes a while to get your head around that, but it's true, I believe.
00:28:41
Speaker
I love that
Meditation & Relaxation Tools
00:28:42
Speaker
so much.
00:28:42
Speaker
Yeah, meditation can really help and support creating that sense of,
00:28:47
Speaker
present and simple simplifying and fine tuning where we can put our attention that to-do list you know I know for me personally in meditation it takes a little bit of time to really get that monkey mind to start to quiet down and a lot of times what the monkey mind is saying is the to-do list all the things that I got to be doing tending tending tending and after
00:29:13
Speaker
a while of just keep coming back to the breath, keep simplifying the mind, keep presencing my body, keep presencing the sounds and allowing those thoughts to just kind of get quieter and quieter, then something happens where I'm able to start to see the pathway of my doings for the day more clearly.
00:29:34
Speaker
It's kind of like starting off, it's like static and everything's just jumbled up.
00:29:39
Speaker
And to be able to just center and ground myself, then I can approach my day with much more strategic presence and awareness to my priorities.
00:29:52
Speaker
You know, I there's for someone who who rarely gets to the peaceful state on the other side of meditation, I still think there's a real benefit for those of us that struggle, because just if I just observe how frantic my mind is.
00:30:11
Speaker
during meditation, I can remember that quicker when I'm someplace else.
00:30:15
Speaker
And I'm like, oh gosh, my mind's doing that thing again, where it's just going nonstop.
00:30:19
Speaker
And so it, it helps me to break out of the rushed mode faster just because I remember it from when I was meditating.
00:30:29
Speaker
And I want to, I want to drop in for a second on just the idea of meditation.
00:30:33
Speaker
Like it's easy, like
00:30:35
Speaker
to toss the word meditation around and like, okay, we should just meditate.
00:30:39
Speaker
But I think a lot of us like, don't really know where to start or don't really know like, okay, so what does that look like?
00:30:45
Speaker
Just me like being quiet and like, you know, what does, what does that entail?
00:30:50
Speaker
There's as many ways to meditate as there are like people on the planet, I believe.
00:30:55
Speaker
But one thing that helped me a lot early on, and I still do it,
00:31:00
Speaker
is the idea of like a candle meditation, which all you do is you light a candle and you sit and you just focus on the flame.
00:31:08
Speaker
And that's all you do.
00:31:10
Speaker
And you just like watch, you just like watch the flame.
00:31:12
Speaker
But what that does, it couldn't be any simpler, but, and what it does, it essentially unhooks you from your thoughts.
00:31:19
Speaker
And then you start to notice these stream of thoughts that are always going through your head.
00:31:23
Speaker
And like some, they'll sometimes we'll hook onto one or they'll hook onto us.
00:31:27
Speaker
but it just notices you're able to notice this stream of thoughts just coming, coming in your head, swirling around, and then they just go.
00:31:34
Speaker
And you can sometimes focusing on the candle, but the burning flame of this candle, you can almost find yourself like going after that thought as it's leaving.
00:31:43
Speaker
But it's like, Oh no, wait, focus on the candle.
00:31:45
Speaker
And then it kind of just, your breath slows down as a natural result.
00:31:49
Speaker
And after 15 minutes, if that happens,
00:31:52
Speaker
I would find myself being like, wow, I'm locked in on this candlelight.
00:31:57
Speaker
My thoughts are going through.
00:31:58
Speaker
I'm not hooking on anything.
00:31:59
Speaker
And I come out of that super relaxed and really rejuvenated.
00:32:03
Speaker
So that is just a basic meditation that I learned early on that works for me and that I'm probably due to do that again.
00:32:11
Speaker
But it's a really good way to kind of unhook these thoughts from us.
00:32:15
Speaker
And one other tool that I recently started using and we'll maybe put a link into the show notes, but it's an app.
00:32:22
Speaker
But some I think all of us here are familiar with the idea of binaural beats and getting, you know, getting an app that allows you to like it puts a tone in your in your brain, like with headphones.
00:32:36
Speaker
that you always want to use with headphones and it just kind of entrains your brain to to relax or focus depending on the beats.
00:32:42
Speaker
And there's plenty of good apps for that.
00:32:44
Speaker
The best one I found is something that we will link to it in the show notes.
00:32:48
Speaker
But it is fantastic.
00:32:50
Speaker
It's something that I can use to like when I wake up in the day or when I'm going to, you know, winding down for the night, when I want to like focus, relax, whatever you can use.
00:32:57
Speaker
There's like 20 different beat rhythms and patterns that you can use for various practices.
00:33:02
Speaker
And a lot of these apps are free.
00:33:04
Speaker
So I would definitely recommend people get into the idea of binaural beeps if you need to find a place to be able to allow yourself to slow down a little bit.
00:33:14
Speaker
Yeah, there's plenty of tools out there.
00:33:16
Speaker
Brainwave frequencies.
00:33:19
Speaker
Yes, intentional use of frequencies to help your brain to be able to focus, to be able to slow down.
00:33:26
Speaker
Yeah, it's really a beautiful tool.
00:33:30
Speaker
Thank you for that.
00:33:31
Speaker
Yeah.
00:33:31
Speaker
And just as an addendum onto that, you know, we're talking about, you know, I had the idea of slowing down and we're kind of, you know, beating the drum about, you know, doing it, you know, from a foundational, like it starts with your mind.
00:33:44
Speaker
It starts with your body.
00:33:47
Speaker
That's where it starts.
Mindfulness for Sustainable Living
00:33:49
Speaker
If you're feeling like you've got to slow down in your life, we have to slow down in our lives.
00:33:55
Speaker
That's where it starts.
00:33:56
Speaker
We can go from springboard off of that into certain rescheduling things and so on and so forth.
00:34:03
Speaker
But it's like unless we get our minds and our bodies right, it's going to be like we're going to find ourselves back in the same place.
00:34:08
Speaker
So it's important to start at the source.
00:34:12
Speaker
Absolutely.
00:34:13
Speaker
Well said.
00:34:14
Speaker
You know, I love this conversation that is actually helping me to breathe slowly and deeply.
00:34:22
Speaker
And some good reminders in here to be able to slow down even when the world is going so fast, even when our minds might be racing that we can actually
00:34:34
Speaker
find some inner slowing down, simplifying.
00:34:40
Speaker
And so with that, love to see if you guys have any closing sparks.
00:34:45
Speaker
Yeah.
00:34:46
Speaker
I have two practical practices that have been helping me a bunch.
00:34:52
Speaker
One is, is in traffic, trying to preemptively become, be aware that the time is going to take as long as it takes.
00:35:04
Speaker
And so the experience of being in a traffic jam takes 30 minutes, no matter what my mindset is.
00:35:11
Speaker
And so if I can find continually, cause I will keep butting up again.
00:35:16
Speaker
I'll keep going, ah, ah, and the tension will keep creeping up.
00:35:19
Speaker
If I just keep coming back to like, wait, I'm here, I'm present.
00:35:23
Speaker
And what, then maybe I'll play some music.
00:35:25
Speaker
Maybe I'll make a phone call.
00:35:26
Speaker
And so this 30 minute period that could have been, or tends to be for me, contributing to this feeling of rushed and tension, keep trying to convert it to an experience that is one of presence.
00:35:41
Speaker
I still get there at the same amount of time, you know.
00:35:43
Speaker
And then the other one is, I guess I'll call it like a partnership meditation where when I'm just holding or touching my partner, just...
00:35:56
Speaker
noticing when my mind is like slips into what's next, what do I gotta do?
00:36:00
Speaker
And instead of pulling back and just, and same way if you're meditating and focusing on your breath or just like focusing all the places that I'm, where our skin is touching each other, where I'm smelling my partner's skin and hair and just like really just going, wait, this is exactly where I wanna be.
00:36:17
Speaker
This present moment is perfect.
00:36:18
Speaker
And just trying to just kind of just live in that present moment as long as possible.
00:36:23
Speaker
Um, cause otherwise the, my mind just keeps tapping me.
00:36:26
Speaker
What's next.
00:36:27
Speaker
What's next.
00:36:27
Speaker
What's next.
00:36:28
Speaker
So traffic and touch.
00:36:31
Speaker
Co-regulation.
00:36:33
Speaker
Yeah, exactly.
00:36:34
Speaker
Yeah.
00:36:35
Speaker
Beautiful.
00:36:36
Speaker
Yeah.
00:36:36
Speaker
Yeah.
00:36:37
Speaker
So, yeah, finding ways to give that to yourself is important.
00:36:42
Speaker
It's important for sure.
00:36:43
Speaker
And just, yeah, just kind of this is the is the summation of what we've been talking about today.
00:36:48
Speaker
And yeah, what's kind of what's what sparks for me is the importance, the importance of that.
00:36:55
Speaker
And realizing like no matter what we're stressed about, all the, like if we look back on our lives and all the things like all that go, go, go and do, do, do, and all the stresses in our life that we've experienced over the course of our adult lives.
00:37:08
Speaker
And we're still here.
00:37:09
Speaker
We're here.
00:37:09
Speaker
It all it all it all got handled.
00:37:11
Speaker
It all got done.
00:37:12
Speaker
So there's or it didn't.
00:37:14
Speaker
And it was fine.
00:37:16
Speaker
So getting to a point where it's like, ah, OK, it's it's going to be fine.
00:37:21
Speaker
It's going to get done.
00:37:22
Speaker
However it gets done.
00:37:22
Speaker
I don't know how it's going to get done, but it's going to get done.
00:37:25
Speaker
So, yeah, it's important to be able to.
00:37:28
Speaker
You know, like, yeah, recognize the the the necessity for slowing down and how we really need to find out, you know, have some have some slowness in our lives because you can go going, going, going, going is just not sustainable.
00:37:44
Speaker
So so I think we all recognize that and find out what works for you.
00:37:48
Speaker
um whether that's scheduling that in or being you know spontaneously being like okay now's the time to get present now's the time to drop in slow down whether you're you know you're able to do that with a partner if you have a partner in your lives or you're able to do that on your own um yeah there's something to be said for what find out where it works for you but one of those things will work for you they're scheduling that in or just when it recognizing when it has to happen during the day or when it's a time you have an opening for that you know take advantage of it absolutely beautiful
00:38:17
Speaker
I'll share my closing spark really comes from the point that we were making around the macro and micro moments of seeing when we might be in a space of rushness or urgency or burning the candle and into that place of mindfulness.
00:38:34
Speaker
is continuously attuning to where we're at in each moment, you know, in the micro moments of rushing out the door and feeling that energy of anxiety.
00:38:45
Speaker
And of course, that's just going to contribute to stubbing your toe or spilling something, which is just going to contribute to like the slowing down.
00:38:52
Speaker
Right.
00:38:53
Speaker
And so the mindfulness in those moments around, I actually don't need to rush right now.
00:38:58
Speaker
I can breathe and just move with grace.
00:39:01
Speaker
And then the macro of the bigger picture of life, you know, are these the ways that I want to keep living my life?
00:39:08
Speaker
Am I living the best life?
00:39:10
Speaker
Am I...
00:39:11
Speaker
moving too fast?
00:39:11
Speaker
Am I burning the candle?
00:39:13
Speaker
Do I need to make some big adjustments?
00:39:14
Speaker
And I think those are really powerful inquiries and consistent check-ins with ourselves to be able to honor our natural rhythms to slow down.
00:39:25
Speaker
Here we are entering into a season where there's shorter days, much more nighttime, which really our system says to sleep a little more and to make
00:39:38
Speaker
nourishing soups and to just really get cozy and slow down.
00:39:44
Speaker
And so really to honor those, those natural rhythms and cycles of our own, of our own bodies.
00:39:51
Speaker
Yeah.
00:39:52
Speaker
Indeed.
00:39:53
Speaker
So yeah.
00:39:53
Speaker
And just add that last little last bit.
00:39:56
Speaker
I want to add to that is, um,
00:39:59
Speaker
we this it's vital that we have these times of slowing down and life has a way and i think we we all have a little experience of this um where if we don't slow down like mindfully and like take advantage of be proactive with it life has a way of slowing us down and that doesn't always fit into like our plans and it's like oh it's like i mean so many people that's oh yeah it was just go go go and non-stop and then i broke my ankle
00:40:26
Speaker
And then or my equals.
00:40:27
Speaker
And so now I have to slow down next two months.
00:40:31
Speaker
That sucks.
00:40:31
Speaker
And I've talked to people who have experienced something like that.
00:40:34
Speaker
And they're like, yeah, I should.
00:40:35
Speaker
If I wasn't just rushing, rushing, rushing, I would have absolutely avoided that.
00:40:39
Speaker
But go, go, go.
00:40:41
Speaker
And, you know, stuff happens.
00:40:42
Speaker
So be proactive with the people.
00:40:45
Speaker
Life has a way of giving us what we need, whether we feel like we want it or not.
00:40:51
Speaker
It's true.
00:40:53
Speaker
Well said.
Hosts' Offerings & Promotions
00:40:54
Speaker
Speaking of giving the people what they need or what's good for good for slowing down.
00:41:00
Speaker
I think we all have a little offering in the world to help people with that.
00:41:04
Speaker
Halcyon, what you got?
00:41:06
Speaker
I want to encourage people to join me every day at 9 a.m.
00:41:10
Speaker
Pacific for a Love Morning broadcast check-in of gratitude and presence.
00:41:15
Speaker
It's a great way to kind of regulate one another and remember to be present just for a few minutes and kind of get into that headspace and mindset so that we can help.
00:41:28
Speaker
try to avoid rushing into an agenda that is not ours every day.
00:41:32
Speaker
So you can join me every day.
00:41:33
Speaker
The link is johnston.com.
00:41:36
Speaker
We'll take you to all my links, J-O-H-N-S-T-Y-N.
00:41:41
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What a beautiful offering.
00:41:43
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Love that.
00:41:45
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And you can find me on all the socials, Betsy Hu on Instagram and my website, finkelhu.com has a lot of my offerings for my healing work that I do.
00:41:56
Speaker
I do in-person body work, energy work.
00:41:58
Speaker
I do aerial somatics, intuitive guidance.
00:42:02
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I also do some virtual support and counseling.
00:42:05
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coaching and helping you get in touch with some healthy habits, which might actually be part of what we're talking about, finding more regulation in your system and in your schedule.
00:42:17
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And also my project, Power Affirmation, which is a variety of tools to help to transform your belief systems about who you are and how you see the world.
00:42:26
Speaker
So there's a journal and there is audio affirmations, which there's one in the show notes.
00:42:31
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And some new products coming out in 2024 as well to support mindset.
00:42:36
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So power affirmation.com can find me there.
00:42:39
Speaker
Um,
00:42:40
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I'm excited to see what you, uh, which, what goodness you're bringing into a 2024.
00:42:45
Speaker
Can't wait for that.
00:42:46
Speaker
So, uh, and for myself, I've got a nutritional supplement company called new world nutritionals spelled NU world nutritionals.
00:42:54
Speaker
And we have some microdose products that are really great for helping you relax, helping you to kind of change your perspective, change your outlook, helping you focus.
00:43:06
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Um, then my partner calls it a spa day for your brain.
00:43:08
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So it's, um,
00:43:10
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Getting a lot of good results for a lot of people.
00:43:11
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Highly recommend you check it out.
00:43:13
Speaker
Newworldnutritionals.com.
00:43:15
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You can use the code SPART for 10% off of all of our products.
00:43:19
Speaker
Sweet.
00:43:20
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Yeah.
00:43:21
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Before we go into an affirmation, I forgot to mention, I also sell shirts that say no urgency and my t-shirt shop at lovemorefearless.com.
00:43:31
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So if you'd like a shirt to remind you, there you go.
00:43:35
Speaker
Amazing.
00:43:36
Speaker
What about a sticker?
00:43:37
Speaker
Can we have a no urgency sticker?
00:43:40
Speaker
Man, now you just added my to-do list.
00:43:42
Speaker
Now I feel urgency.
00:43:43
Speaker
Damn it.
00:43:44
Speaker
That's honestly kind of surprising.
00:43:46
Speaker
Take a deep breath.
00:43:48
Speaker
Yeah.
00:43:48
Speaker
Okay.
00:43:48
Speaker
Okay.
00:43:49
Speaker
Take a deep breath, Halston.
00:43:50
Speaker
Yeah.
00:43:51
Speaker
Kind of surprising.
00:43:52
Speaker
How rush are getting those stickers done, Halcyon?
00:43:55
Speaker
Yeah.
00:43:56
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Start with the t-shirt and a good reminder.
00:43:59
Speaker
Yeah.
00:44:00
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Maybe we'll infuse that into our affirmation today.
00:44:05
Speaker
All right.
00:44:06
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Well, in the spirit of centering and grounding and slowing down before you swipe to the next thing on your to-do list, let's just take a few deep breaths in through the nose and out through the mouth.
00:44:27
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Again, filling all the way up.
00:44:32
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And as we exhale, just relaxing the shoulders and feeling our energy just start to slow down.
00:44:39
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And I'll just infuse an affirmation here that you can just think in your mind with me.
00:44:45
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I am patient.
00:44:47
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I am patient.
00:44:50
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I am patient and present.
00:44:54
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I am patient and present.
00:44:57
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There's plenty of time.
00:44:59
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There's plenty of time.
00:45:03
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I give myself permission to slow down.
00:45:08
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I give myself permission to slow down.
00:45:13
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I am slowing down.
00:45:15
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I am slowing down.
00:45:17
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I am slowing down.
00:45:19
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All is well.
00:45:20
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All is well.
00:45:22
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All is well.
00:45:23
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All is well.
00:45:23
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Just in your mind now.
00:45:24
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All is well.
00:45:25
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And another deep breath.
00:45:33
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feeling our nervous system just reset in that simple practice.
00:45:40
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Wishing you all grace as you move through your days of doing and finding those beautiful moments to simply be.
00:45:48
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Thank you for making time to be with us today and listening.
00:45:53
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Stay sparked.
00:45:55
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Stay sparky.