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C1 Ep 7 "Fe Fi Fo Gnome"
25 Plays10 months ago
Our players are missing their favorite little mascot and will stop at nothing to retrieve it.
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Transcript
Introduction and Character Insights
00:00:01
Speaker
Hey, I'm Matt Jacobson. I play knock for in Legion of Dice's Erem campaign. Last episode we possibly released some evil entity who knows jury still on that. Went further down the cave thought unknown that decided to steal axons whiskers so we quickly dispatched him. um And then upon finding a small hole where possibly that known came out of We sent Thamwise in to investigate, and Thamwise did not return. So we'll see what our players do in this episode. And appreciate y'all for watching, and enjoy.
00:00:54
Speaker
A viewer discretion is advised.
00:01:07
Speaker
um
00:01:10
Speaker
Hey everybody, I'm Chase Dixon. I am Axon of the Golden Fang, a Leonin monk. And my fun fact for this week is, so ah normal lions can eat about a quarter of their body weight per meal. And that scales to most Leonin, but sometimes Leonin can go a little bit above because they do a little bit more than your normal lion. Actually, after two weeks of an adventure in the wild where Axon got lost and he ate almost nothing, he set and recorded his all time best for how much food he ate in a single meal. It was two soft shell crabs who weirdly had ab six roosters that gave him a booster to guinea fowls four out seven rads a stray cat whose fur was Matt a baboon to put up a fight a giant centipede because accident was no fright an entire bore with who was wickedly haired and a venomous snake because he was dared. Oh, hell yeah. It totaled 721 pounds and he was comatose for three days.
00:02:10
Speaker
Did you actually do the math on how much weight that would be? Fuck no, I just came up with that. Fuck yeah dude. That was beautiful. I feel like I'd be pretty comatose to you if I had that much food. That's like, I feel like that comatose if I eat like a cake. Yeah, that happened to me yesterday and I just had a rib eye steak and like four eggs. Hey, good morning, everyone. I'm Kent Rawlings. I play ah Vexos Nightshade. It's a rogue warlock multiclass. Fun fact about Vexos this week is that he learn he knows multiple languages, specifically abyssal and ah thieves can't. hello Yeah, that worked out well last time, huh?
00:02:55
Speaker
Yeah, but anyways, ah so fun fact is that he actually learned abyssal extremely easy it kind of just came to him naturally, but thieves can't the rogues kind of language. um It was very, very hard. He did not learn it took him many, many years before he actually became fluent in the thieves can't just pigs Latin. Yeah. Yeah. yeah ah But it's it's it's weird because the the abyssal came to him very, very easy. So. and Hey, I'm Matthew Dickson, I play a knock for ten of us. A fun fact about Noctifer is that going along with the food category from Chase is he has spent so long where he didn't need necessarily to
00:03:46
Speaker
care about what he ate. And now that he has to eat more human food, he enjoys certain delicacies. ah Desserts are some of his top favorites. um But his favorite is definitely a nice steak with some beer. What's what's his favorite dessert? uh strawberry shortcake you said strawberry shortcake cake kind i would hope it's a cake hello i am zac balter i play bruce the bard the bard uh fun fact about bruce uh every
00:04:21
Speaker
Few years can change depending on his body and what he's going through. ah Bruce sheds his skin like any other snake would. um And he does this. And when he does this, everything about him changes his hair color, his voice box, ah his skin color. So he just becomes a completely different person. Hmm. Does Bruce shed his skin? Bruce does shed his skin. How often? Roughly every few years. It depends on, ah you know, bodily changes. Does he look like one of those crabs that Molten are like super soft and pinkish like fucking Mr. Crabs in that one episode? Yeah, sure. Yeah. Yeah. So ah whenever that happens, we got a real vulnerable fucking teammate. Becomes pink skinned. And then how?
00:05:11
Speaker
How many voices have you had, uh, in your lifetime? I guess let's use your voice box comes out. Uh, 15. Hey everyone.
DM's Personal Journey
00:05:18
Speaker
I'm Dean Balder and I am your DM for today. Uh, I didn't think about a fun fact until right now. And since we're going with food for most of these fun facts, uh, my fun fact is that I am currently doing a carnivore diet. Um, been doing it for a week now and. It's rough. I want cake or, uh, sugar ice cream would be nice. you so I've heard it like magically fixes joint pain and that sounds really nice for me. That's what I'm hoping for. I mean, I've only done it for just about a week now. So I'm just going through, uh, cravings and pretty much anything sounds good right now, but do you want pickles and ice cream?
00:06:03
Speaker
i yeah Honestly, I would eat pickles and ice cream right now. I heard about your trip to ah to Subway where you had a really weird request. Yeah, chicken. just What kind of sandwich you want you want that on? Just the chicken. Yeah, I was like, can I get a ah power bowl? They're like, yeah, what do you want? And I was like, chicken. And they're like, all right, what else? I was like, no, that's it. And they're like, OK, what fruits and vegetables? No, or not fruits, Jesus. Who puts fruit in their fucking power bowl? who play on What vegetables you want? Yeah, no, just chicken. They just gave me a really weird look and then charged me full price. So yeah, subway is ridiculous now. Oh, it's bad, dude. It used to be a five dollar foot long. Yeah, whatever happened to that. Yeah. What the fuck happened? it That's what like put subway on the map. I literally went to subway like a couple of days ago and I got like just a chicken bacon and ranch and then I got like chips and a drink and it was 20 bucks for the combo. I was like, yeah.
00:07:03
Speaker
Hopefully, they've listened to this podcast and realized their prices need to go down. Yeah. Fuck you, Subway. but Dude, I mean, look at little Caesars. They've stayed with the $5 hot and ready. Come on. It's a, it's a bulletproof business model. Yeah. Like there's no reason Subway can't do it. Yeah. Hear that, Subway? You guys should ah sponsor us and give us free food. Fuckin' eat flesh, my ass. Well, welcome everyone. I hope you guys are ready to play today. I hope you guys are ready to die. Okay.
Gnome Hole Adventure Begins
00:07:34
Speaker
Interesting. You guys are now still inside the cave. You guys just, uh, release fam wise into a little hole to go chase some gnomes and fam wise has not returned. Shrink me right now. I'm going in after him. I grabbed the shrinkery. Please.
00:07:55
Speaker
I need to save my cousin. And October, are you on board with this? To shrink all of us? oh All right. Well, this is what I'm going to say. You guys are real close, right? Don't you fucking dare. No, no, no. You guys are real close, right? So I'll say you don't have to make an attack roll to hit him because you're right next to him. You can just, you know, point blank range. But, uh, roll me Fuck me. Yup. 19. Yeah. So you, uh, you shrink him. Does the shrink rate heat up? Uh, yeah. So the, the gem in the back starts to glow a bit and then it heats up a little bit. And, uh, you see a beam of light into Bruce and he starts shrinking and shrinking and shrinking and, uh, I'll say you can you can release the trigger at some point so you don't have to make him like the size of an ant. How how tall are you trying to make him? Are you trying to make him... whole size? i want i want him Yeah, I want him just big enough to like fit through the hole, like a snug fit. I try to make him gnome height. So yeah yeah, what is that, like about a foot? I just kind of i watch. I see him just slowly shrinking, and then I just let go of the trigger once he gets to about the size that i and we want. All right, perfect. Yeah, so you are now one foot tall, Bruce.
00:09:29
Speaker
OK, I'm going to look up at the rest of the group. And since I'm small and they're not, it my voice is going to be a little bit squeakier. So are you guys going to come with me or am I going to go alone?
00:09:42
Speaker
I look at an octifer and I look at accident and I'm like, oh, I really want to kick him. Don't you fucking kick me. How big is this hole? About like a foot ish tall, like a little over a foot, foot and couple inches tall, little hole. I think, hey, Bruce, maybe you should just go through and scout it out and we'll we'll try and figure out how we can get through through the wall on this side. You guys fucking suck. And I'm going to turn around and sprint in. ah Well, I'm going to sprint in just like past the hole and then I'm going to start ah sneaking around. I'm going to sprint and then stop and be like wait a minute. Yeah, I think in my head it looks very funny to me like how I would just sprint off as a little person. Yeah, let's not nice so not shrink the road, let's shrink the barn.
00:10:39
Speaker
Hey, maybe that could be a beneficial, we'll see. Yeah, it is high charisma. You run in and as you're going through, you kind of go through like a really tight tunnel. It's just kind of like all around your body. And as you're going, you start coming up to kind of a opening and you're sneaking, right? Yeah, I'm sneaking. Give me a stealth check. Oh boy. Oh no. He rolled a one. Perfect. All right. So you run over or you're sneaking over to this, uh, this opening and you peer through and you see, probably it's hard to get a good count because, you know, you're just looking at a little bit, you see like,
00:11:37
Speaker
40 to 50 gnomes our sitting around the campfire. So they're drinking some sort of purplish mead and they've got some fruits and berries inside of platters and they've got ah candle lights all around where they're kind of singing and dancing and you can see them wise in a giant glass container um sitting behind where these these gnomes are and one of the gnomes as they're walking over to where ah you are whips out his tiny penis and starts peeing and then notices you and it starts screaming and and
00:12:31
Speaker
turns and looks at you and accidentally pees all over you. I don't even know what to say to that. ah You're really going to fucking pee on me. Really. really this is This is what we're doing. Hey, what the fuck is going on? Hey, who's this guy? He's not one of us. I'm just here. You guys took my snake. I'm here to get him back. That's all. If we could do this as quietly and as friendly as possible, that would be and would be very nice. What the frick? First of all, I don't know who you are, okay? But this is ours now because this is gonna be dinner and he's gonna try to grab you and bring you towards the rest of his buddies as they're now all getting up and looking over at you.
00:13:21
Speaker
Look, I didn't want to do this. All right. But I got like a nine foot lion out there
Gnome Negotiations and Conflict
00:13:25
Speaker
who is also going to be shrunk down and come in here and eat all of you. So I don't know if you guys want to be eaten tonight or if you want to just give me my snake back. But that would be nice if you just gave me my snake back without any ah arguments. Give me an intimidation role. Yeah, six. Cool. At that moment, I'm going to let out a daunting roar. It's going to be loud as fuck because I'm not shrunk down, but he's not bluffing. I don't know if you can hear him. Give me a, uh, I guess, insight check to see if you can hear him. 19. Yeah. I guess your, your big lion ears are able to hear. I do have feline senses. Yeah. You hear Bruce's, uh, intimidation not going so well. And you give out this, this loud roar and, uh, uh,
00:14:19
Speaker
You know what, you give me an intimidation roll. Mod 20. Oh shit, okay. Batting a thousand, baby. So you let out this giant roar and all these gnomes starts kind of shivering and shaking. And the one that was about to grab Bruce, he yeah looks over his buddies and you hear him talking in gnomes to them. um but but And he looks back over and at Bruce and he's like, okay, look, maybe we can do this a little more steadily. Okay. Do you have anything that maybe we can use and we can give you your, your lead back. I got, I got 10 gold. We don't, we don't need gold. We have plenty of that. Then what is it you are interested in? Hmm.
00:15:15
Speaker
Meat. You're so... Meat. You said meat. Meat. Yes, meat. I'm sorry. Your voice is just... it's it's not right. It's just not right. I'll tell you what. There's a bunch of dead guys out front, right? We can take a little trip. You can have all the meat you want. well What kind of guys? I got a big lion. You can can eat the lion? You can eat the lion. Okay. Sounds good to me. All right. ru We the lion and then you get your snake meat. How about, how about this? Bring lion. Bring the lion. No, no, no, no. You have to go to the lion. Hmm. Okay. They're stupid enough to follow. That happens when I roll a two. Okay.
00:16:14
Speaker
I'll, uh, I'll text him about this corner. and but total Let's go. And, uh, I'm standing by the hole. Okay. Cause I really want, I really want my bard friend back. So these, uh, these four gnomes start walking towards the rest of the cave or outside, not the cave. They start walking out of their little tunnel towards you guys. And there's, uh, The rest of them are going to kind of stand by the entrance of where Bruce is so that they can keep him there until they get their lion meat. And yeah, these three little, or sorry, four little gnomes pop out and look up and see a giant lion. Do you wish to die like the other? Well, she promised us that we can eat her.
00:17:11
Speaker
so Just, uh, say a spell and he's going to jump up and he's going to take out a knife and try to fucking stab you. I want to grab him and like stiff arm him, like a big brother to a little brother. So his arms are just swinging and flailing at me, but he can't reach me because he's so far away. All right. Well, because of his attack role, he rolled a six. You can absolutely grab him midair and. Yeah, he's just fucking swinging and he's gonna try to like, try to stab your hand, your paw as he's just like flailing around and you're just holding by his head. Show me my friend and his cousin and I will sacrifice myself to you. arc up You let me go. And then, then I can throw you them. Yeah. Yeah. No.
00:18:04
Speaker
bring them to me Well, I can't hear that from up here, huh? You can shout. Tell your buddies inside to bring them out. Oh, God. How am I going to shout? Hey. Hey, guys. Show them the stupid people. And then you're going to see a couple more of these gnomes holding on to Bruce. And they're going to be like poking Bruce's head outside of the little little cave thing. and
00:18:37
Speaker
They rolled a 17 on a grapple check for Bruce. So if you want, you can do it a post strength check if you want to get out of it. That's not going to go in my favor. Yeah, you guys wanted to suck sort to fucking send me in alone. This is what happens. I'm going to use compelled duel on the guy holding Bruce. What is compelled you tend to compel a creature into a duel one creature that you can see within range must make a wisdom saving throw um On a failed say the creature is drawn to you compelled by your divine command for the duration and as a disadvantage on attack rolls against creatures other than you and Must make a wisdom saving throw each time it attempts to move to a space that it's more than 30 feet away from you
00:19:23
Speaker
okay and what do you say to uh try to command him into a duel as i cast it i'm gonna say how about we fight just knuckles and uh hoover wins can take the meat and uh this nob's gonna look over at you and he's gonna say that is a compelling offer how about you suck my small dick because he just rolled a nat 20 for his wisdom. oh
00:19:55
Speaker
um And with that, you've got two gnomes are going to run out of the tunnel and they're going to try to attack. ah They're going to try to attack this big lion that's in front of them, <unk> trying to get their meat. Are we rolling initiative or can I have a reaction real quick? You can have a reaction. I want to slam the one I'm holding into one of them really fucking hard. Okay, do a attack roll. Mod 20. Yes, you did that. I'm just gonna fuck myself. Four, I guess to both. Yeah, it'd be four to both.
00:20:42
Speaker
So the one you're holding, you slam it into one of the guys that's jumping at you. They slam into the, uh, the cave wall. You see some blood kind of like spilling off of their, uh, off of their foreheads. And now they both look a little angry and, uh, and then. Yeah. Roll initiative. Aha. 20, not nat 20, not 20. Oh, I rolled a 20 as well. I rolled him that 20. I rolled a 16. Was that 15 for me? So you slam these guys up against the wall. One note manages to get a hold of axon and tries to stab you in the in the neck. And I'm assuming it in the 18 hits. Unfortunately. Yeah. So he stabs you with a little dagger. He does four damage.
00:21:41
Speaker
into into your like trap area and then it goes to Vexos' turn and right now there are four gnomes that are outside their little area um and Bruce would know there's a lot more where that came from. Is Bruce still right at the entrance of little gnome cave? Yeah. Mm hmm. How narrow is this like this little tunnel, right? Because like, so I want to move. I want to move a little bit further back from the the little hole in the ah in the wall. And so we inspected it before we said it was about one foot like thick thickness like the hole that Bruce walked through. It was about one feet or one foot deep.
00:22:30
Speaker
So I'm assuming that the wall that is behind it with just a little hole in it is about a foot. Yeah, yeah about that. Okay, ah and like a how narrow is this like this path leading this little small little cutaway leading to this hole in the wall? like, how narrow is the little hole? Yeah, cuz cuz no, no, no, how narrow is just the the little pathway that we're standing in on the other side of the hole? Because Noctifer, I want to move like a little bit further back. So like Noctifer and axon will be in front of me. And then the little gnomes that just came out of the the hole.
00:23:11
Speaker
Basically what I wanna do is I wanna shoot, I wanna cast Nightshade Cut at the wall and try and cut through the rock and open this hole. Yeah, you can do that. All right, so first I'm gonna tell, Axon, Noctifer, stand clear. What about me? No, you're good, stay where you are. 17. Uh, yeah, that definitely hits. Give me some damage. Um, yeah, give me a damage roll. All right. Eight. Uh, yeah, eight. All right. With an eight, I'll say you crack it really bad, but it's not completely destroyed. So you see that the wall is now
00:24:06
Speaker
Cracked a bunch and you can kind of see little crevices into where the little no hole is. and Okay. Yeah, so the way I pictured is like accent kind of kind of smashed up against the side of the wall and knocked to her on the other side of the wall. I just shot this this black beam like not like a arcing beam and it just smacked into the wall. Yeah, and as this black beam is slamming into it, you see like pieces of wall just shooting all over the place, black smoke kind of all around it. And and then you can start, as your beam is retracting, you can see cracks into the the gnome area. And you see little little candles and little fire pit and about 40 gnomes staring up at these cracks.
00:24:57
Speaker
um um and And since you're looking directly at it, give me an investigation check.
The Gnome Leader Emerges
00:25:05
Speaker
19. So Bruce wasn't able to see this because he looked real quick before he was discovered. But what you're looking at is there's one known in the middle and.
00:25:21
Speaker
He's got a big wizard hat on, a wizard staff, and at the top of his staff is a pentagram. Boys, this is gonna be an interesting one. I think I found their leader. He's wearing a wizard hat, and he has a pentagram on the top of his staff. I didn't see a pentagram anywhere. Yeah, well, open your eyes, Bruce. All right, and that's going to bring us to Bruce. Am I still being grappled? I'm still being held onto. You are being grappled. All right. I'm going to turn to my, uh, my side and I'm going to lick the guy that's grappling me with my tongue. And then I'm going to cast the suggestion. Okay. Uh, which is a, I suggest a course of activity limited to a sentence or two and magically influence a creature. You can see within range that can hear and understand you.
00:26:20
Speaker
creatures that can't be charmed or immune to this yeah doesn't matter The suggestion must be worded in such a manner to make the course of action sound reasonable, asking the creature to stab itself, throw itself into a spear, emulate itself, or do some other obviously harm action harmful act ends the spell. ah You make a wisdom saving throw. On a failed save, it pursues the course of action you described to the best of its ability. The suggested course of action can continue continue for the duration. ah If the suggested activity could be completed in a short time, the spell ends when the subject finishes what did he what it is he was asked to do. All right. So you can pretty much tell him what to do and he just can't hurt himself. Yep.
00:27:02
Speaker
So I'm going to suggest that, uh, I'm going to look at him and be like, I'm going to lick him first. Right. Like I said, and then I'm going to whisper into his ear. You're going to go back there and you're going to release my fucking snake. Okay. All right. What, uh, what does he have to do for a wisdom save? Uh, 13. Uh, he's going to release you and he's going to start running back, uh, into the, into the gnome hole and no one's really going to stop him because I don't think anyone in the gnome hole has heard do you say that. So you just see him kind of running back there. It's going to take him a little bit of time to release Samwise if he doesn't get caught while he's doing it. But yeah, that's what he's going to do on his turn now. And that's going to bring us to Axon. I'm going to use my bonus action to take out my spear and I'm going to chuck it at one of the gnomes I knocked down.
00:28:01
Speaker
uh that's lying on the ground uh since he's on the ground do i have advantage yes uh 23 no yeah of course that is like damn like what are we fighting chunky gnomes and that's gonna do uh eight damage to him okay yeah you uh let me tell me how you murder him Oh, cool. Yeah. So I see him and I'm just going to fucking Olympic javelin lawn dart this hoe straight through the fucking eyes. And because their heads are so small, it's going to just basically pop his fucking melon. Yeah. Done dead. And then I want to run over. Oh, wait, Bruce is let go of, right? Yeah. OK, cool. I'm going to run over to Bruce. Board man, give me your arm. I've reached my little arm up.
00:28:57
Speaker
And am I allowed to chuck him closer, like, into the party so that he's away from all of those fucking gnomes that might be pulling up? Yeah, you can pick up the one-foot Bruce and throw him. Yeah, I'm just gonna yeet him toward where I think Noctifer is. Noctifer, catch! I will, I will catch him. Give me a, uh, athletics check. That's an 8, uh, 21. Yeah, yeah, I'll say you can pick him up, throw him, and Noctifer's going to pick grab him out of the air like a football. Took him under my shoulder too. Like Odell Beckham Jr. just up here, baby. Yeah, one handed to catch, put him on the side of his head. I'll settle on my shoulder, yeah. and And that's going to bring us to Noctifer, who is now just grab Bruce and put him on his shoulder. All right, so first thing I'm going to do
00:29:50
Speaker
is I'm gonna use my dark side. So my eyes are gonna go black and inky black veins are gonna appear all throughout my body. I'm just gonna swing at the first gnome in front of me. All right, so yeah, there's three of them there. And yeah, give me ah give me an attack roll. That is another 18 plus five, 23. Yeah, that hits. I'm gonna look over while he's doing this and see his eyes. and What the fuck? All right, so. Oh, my my sword also has a weird greenish hue to it as well. Hue means color, listeners. What shade of green? like a deep Like a deep dark green. Yeah. Like Disney villain green. You guys know what I'm talking about? How deep and how dark. You'll find out later. All Nine. So that's nine for slashing damage.
00:30:50
Speaker
10 necrotic, so 19 damage. All right. Tell me how you can murder this gnome. So as I as i ah make sure to hold on to, like, set him, like, into my shoulder so he doesn't, like, go anywhere, I'm going to jump and just crash down on him with my sword, plunging through his head, through his spine, down through his body, into the ground and paling him to the ground. And I'll take and then I'm gonna bring it up and so like swing it. So the body like crumples in front of his friends, just.
00:31:25
Speaker
yeah corner no And now they're freaking out and you start seeing these gnomes who just watched their buddies get murdered. Their eyes start to turn red. They used to be a bright blue. and now they are turning into like a crimson red, ah their teeth start to elongate and sharpen. And when they look at you, they start to smile and you have like almost like rows of teeth, kind of kind of like a shark where they just have like a shit ton of rows. Oh, this is fucking awesome. Yeah, they start staring at you and like just staring daggers
00:32:13
Speaker
into your soul there's straight-up gremlin in it demon gnomes i have not hunted this yet i will feast on your corpse and uh as as uh they start staring at you um you hear from inside the cave a dark grumbling type of noise uh very demonic does it sound like slaughter to prevail lyrics yes you hear a whole bunch of uh pig squeals in the back oh that's good and then you hear some guitar on the back and
00:33:03
Speaker
You guys can probably tell that this is probably there their leader in in the background.
Demonic Battle Unfolds
00:33:10
Speaker
um And you just start seeing a ton of gnomes just start pouring out of this little hole. And as as they start pouring out, you have
00:33:28
Speaker
You have about 10 of them running towards Axon, and then like 15 running towards ah Noctifer, and then another 10 running towards Vexdos. I assume this guy's like a hive mind. like the sequids or like Taylor Swift.
00:33:58
Speaker
This swarm of demonic gnomes starts pouring out and they start latching on to axon. The first 10 jump out and start biting at his like upper torso. And so yeah, you've been encumbered by 10 gnomes as they start trying to stab and bite into you. And I'm assuming 18 hits again, correct? ah ah yeah Actually, this time, I just cast a shield on myself. So get fuck gnomes. No, ah yeah, that know that absolutely hits.
00:34:36
Speaker
Uh, and so you've got 10 gnomes jumping onto this giant lion. And these are like, again, they're about one foot tall, some a little bit shorter. So you just have like a bunch of little gnomes all over your body, uh, burying their teeth into you and stabbing little baggers in and you take 10 damage. Oh yeah. And then, uh, that's going to bring us to the 10 gnomes that are going after Vexus. I'm assuming a 19 hit. All right, so 10 gnomes starts running at you and they jump up, they start shadowing humbering. You're a little bit shorter than the giant lion. So they're taking up a little bit more of your mass and biting into you. I think one of them bites off or tries to bite off your nipple and does 15 damage and starts drawing a lot of blood.
00:35:34
Speaker
This will bring us to the last 15 that are now running towards, uh, knocked for me. I'm assuming an 18 hit. Yeah, it would. These guys are batting a thousand does 10 damage again. as they jump up and are now climbing up your body, trying to get to little Bruce. One of the other notes, the one that Bruce had coerced into trying to free Famwise is taking his turn. So you don't know exactly what's happening because he's inside of a little cave and you can't see him, but he is trying to free Famwise as far as you know.
00:36:17
Speaker
That's gonna bring us to Vexus. All right, so i backed I backed a little bit further away to cast Nightshade Cut. ah So I'm gonna, I would say I'm probably like maybe 10, 15 feet away from like the Noctifer and Axon. Kind of like at where the ah cave kind of cuts off to the like at the entrance there. um And I am going to cast Arms of Hadar. Uh, it is a level one warlock skill. You invoke the power of Hadar, the dark hunger tendrils of dark energy erupt from you and batter all creatures within 10 feet of you. Each creature in that area must make a strength saving throw on a failed save. A target takes two D six necrotic damage and can't take reactions until its next turn on a successful save. The creature takes half damage, but surfers, no other effects. That's pretty dope. That's good. Knock all 10.
00:37:18
Speaker
into being hit. So that's pretty yeah pretty nice. um So the strength... I'm not super familiar with this. So the strength saving throw, it says my save DC is 13. So I'm assuming it's a strength DC of 13. You said 13? Yeah, they got a 12. Nice. You got these black angels just shoot out of you. and then start like snatching up all of the gnomes that are all over your body. And they start wrapping around and constricting them. And and now they take... They take six damage each. Okay. So they all take six damage. And as we're being constricted by this black tendril around them, they're kind of screaming out and freaking out.
00:38:11
Speaker
hopefully hoping that they can get out of this and calling for calling for their buddies to try to help them. That'll bring us to Brew. All right, to start off, I'm gonna whisper into Noctifer's ear as my bonus action and give him bardic inspiration. Or, yeah, Noctifer, yeah, that's who I'm on, right? Yeah. Yeah, so I'm gonna whisper into his ear and be like, you got this, bud. We we can, wait, hold on. You got this, bud. We're gonna do this, all right? We're gonna get through this. Thanks buddy. So now he has bardic inspiration. And then I'm going to yell out to everybody and say, I didn't want to have to do this. I was saving this for when I really needed it, but I'm going to do it. Okay. I cast nuke. I'm going to use my what just happened, uh, action. Uh, so I'm going to reach into my damaged bag of holding and pull out one of
00:39:08
Speaker
a near infinite number of random items that may or may not be useful. Oh, this is a homebrew, which who who created this homebrew? Do you remember? This is made by Theodore Wilder. Thank you, Theodore. Okay, so here's my first D100. Yeah, and so the way this works is he rolls a D100. Yeah, it's a D100 to basically pick what tier of stuff I'm going to pick and then another D100.
00:39:40
Speaker
for what I pick out of that tier. It's almost like the deck of many things. was kind of cool Okay. All right. I picked out a miniature based on an ally. If placed on the ground, it grows into a real life size statue until someone attempts to pick it up as it then shrinks into their hand back to its normal size.
00:40:02
Speaker
What the fuck? Sick. So I'm going to pick that out and then I'm going to throw it on the ground. And now we have a big statue of a noctifer just sitting there. Do the gnomes mistake the statue for me? You know what, on this next turn, we'll see see if they're able to pass the wisdom some check to see which noctifer is the real noctifer. Oh, man. And does it just have its own? action. Oh, no, it's literally a statue. i was just the big sat that didn Okay, it is. He literally just summoned a logo for us. Hey. All right, well, we'll see if if this trips up in here, I know when it gets to their turn. And this is gonna be to axons turn. Yeah. So while these fucking little shitheads are biting and scratching and clawing at me, I'm gonna go to ah punch one, like, assume more like ones on my chest and I go to like
00:40:58
Speaker
punch it off. So do I need to roll for it since it's literally on me? Well, if you're if you're gonna punch it off, I would say you can roll all and see if you hit it direct or if you hit yourself. 11 11 hits it, it's gonna take eight damage. And then I'm going to spend a key point to use flurry of blows. So I get two more open handed attacks. And I'm just aiming for Okay, well, that doesn't fucking hit. that does that is a 19. So I'm gonna like swing on one hit that one and then I go for my other one but there's like two of the gnomes on my on my left arm so I fucking miss entirely and then I'm just gonna kick really fucking hard to get another one off me and that one's gonna take ah another eight damage also because I used flurry of blows open hand technique
00:41:52
Speaker
Uh, he needs to make a DC 12 strength save, or I'm sorry, ah DC 12 deck save. Yeah, 16 fucking shit dick. Okay. All right, so now I'm just going to like pounce in an indeterminate location or direction 30 feet away to try to like, shake some of these fuckers off me. All right. ah Two of them stay on you. Cool. And the rest of them kind of like fall off as you're kind of like dancing around. ah But they're definitely going to be trying to jump back on whatever they get the chance. i can live I can live with that. That'll bring us to Noctifer. Yeah. So how many people are like, are they in front of me or are they surrounding me? So there all are 15 around you and then about like seven or seven or
00:42:44
Speaker
on you, like on your body. All right. I want to kind of try to orient myself in a way where. Most of them are in front of me, if that makes sense. Can I kind of like just bob and weave a little bit to like position myself in a way where they're the other eight are in front of you. OK. And then I'm going to. I'm going to spend a lot of my spend to D4 hit points. and I'm gonna upcast it to level two. So I'm gonna take three D4 damage right now. Okay.
00:43:23
Speaker
All right, two, four, so five, okay, that's actually sick. I took five damage. um So as I go to cast Dark Burst, ah it's basically, it's the Burning Hand spell, but Necrotic. the the The black veins I bite are gonna kind of pulse for a little bit. and i can You see me kind of like twinge a little bit like like in pain. um And then I'm willing to spread my hands out in front of me and a green flame is gonna shoot out in a 30 foot cone to all these people. All right, and is that just an attacker or is that a save?
00:44:05
Speaker
15 foot come um each creature much make a dexterity saving throw oh they take it's make a dexterity saving throw would take half damage yeah duh look um it ignites any flammable objects in the area well they've got uh daggers which are made out of metal so they do not catch on fire but uh roll for damage and half of them are going to take full damage half are going to take uh are gonna take half damage. Five, three, four, so nine, 12 damage. All right, so after you push this giant cone of what type of damage? It's necrotic. So this cone of necrotic damage starts washing over them and you see like a black mist bursting through their body and as you're doing that, ah four of them disintegrate into
00:45:01
Speaker
ah like pile of ashes. And then the other four, ah you see like holes start coming through them and they start bleeding kind of like out of their pores. um But they're still standing and looking more ravenous than ever. Can I see the wizard? Not clearly. He's still inside of the little cave, ah doing his little like, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh. Is he within 90 feet of me? Within 90 feet? Yes.
00:45:32
Speaker
I'm going to cast Hex on him. Is that a bonus action? Yep. Yeah, it is. OK, yeah. Oh, yep. So total spell ends. I will deal an extra 1d6 necrotic damage to the target whenever I hit it with an attack. All right. Oh, and choose an ability when you cast a spell. The target has disadvantage on ability checks made with chosen ability. I'm going to pick. I'll pick wisdom. Yep. Wisdom. You cast Hex. And then you guys start hearing the the guitar noises and the squealing start getting a little bit louder. All right. You got a little bit of a bass going on now. So it's not just da, na, na, na. It's more like, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. And you start seeing all the gnomes that are left start coming closer to each other.
Gnome Giant Threat
00:46:27
Speaker
And you see another 20 gnomes.
00:46:31
Speaker
shoot out of this hole and the gnomes start attaching to each other. oh As they get closer to each other, their skin starts to morph into each other and you have like 10 gnomes for each leg, 10 gnomes for each arm, and then like 20 gnomes for a torso and just one little gnome for the head. So it's got a little tiny head on a massive gnome shaped body made out of a bunch of little gnomes. And, uh, it gives out a big, uh,
00:47:14
Speaker
as it's roar. Um, and you see, it takes one hand and pulls out. a sword. Is it made of gnomes? Please say the sword is made of gnomes. Is made of gnomes. A sword made out of gnomes and starts starts swinging around and he slashes and at this point he's trying to hit vexos and axon and one big slash and does a 14 hit either of you? No. Thank God no. So he takes a big swing
00:47:52
Speaker
with a bunch of little gnomes and misses you guys by by a couple hairs. And then on his backswing tries to reach out and stab Noctifer and does a 19 hit. Does this hit me as well? ah So he's going directly into Noctifer because he's trying to go like right center mass. ah Wait, is he going for the statue you or is he going for Noctifer? Oh, yeah. Oh, shit. Oh, man. Yeah, you you are. You're if he if he if he. Well, no, I love you either the way. If he fails or saves. Yeah, he fails. He yeah he got a 10 and he goes to stab Noctifer and stabs a bunch of these gnomes into this giant little step or this statue of Noctifer. And yeah.
00:48:44
Speaker
completely misses and that statue now has a big crack directly center mass fucked up my fucking statue you asshole hey better him than me you start hearing this evil demonic evil demonic ah wizard gnome in the background start to give out a high-pitched squeal and As you look through their little cracks, you see Thamwise eating one of the other gnomes, the gnome that released him. And the, and the, uh, the wizard is looking over in complete horror as he sees this snake just completely like jaws unhinged.
00:49:40
Speaker
and just completely swallow whole one of his known buddies. That's what you get. And Thamwise looks over at ah at Bruce and he's like, Thur, permitting to eat. Absolutely. Demolish that motherfucker. That is going to bring us to to Vexus. Oh, so did, uh, did all the, the little gnomes that were honest, those ones all morphed into the, the big gnome now. So there's just one big gnome in this tunnel. Exactly. One giant gnome staring directly at you guys. All right. Well, uh, I am going to cast a nightshade cut at him and
00:50:33
Speaker
Does natural 20 hit a natural 20 does hit. Nice. Perfect. Yeah. All right. Um, so, uh, just to clarify how we're doing natural twenties is it's double damage. And the first role is like automatic, like for, for mine, it's one D 10. So it's, it's 10 plus another role, correct? yes all right so it is going to go for oh my god oh never mind no i said it's gonna be 17 almost all right so you
00:51:15
Speaker
you fucking smash this dude and as you do a couple of gnomes break free from its chest and fall down dead and it gives out a giant RAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR Nice, ah paint a little bit of a picture of Nightshade Cut. So the inspiration of Nightshade Cut came from the show Shadow and Bone on Netflix. And so when I cast Nightshade Cut, it's the shadows that I have control of. ah It forms into like a large like crescent moon-shaped blade, ah kind of flat.
00:52:02
Speaker
And then it basically can penetrate and it's like extremely sharp. So and then I saw for my hands and it just goes out like ah ah a huge just knife. ah So when it hits um the goblin monster that we're dealing with, a couple of gnomes just completely just get sliced in half. Like it just goes right through the body like it was like a hot knife through butter. Perfect. And as these guys are dead and cut in half and kind of like bodies still wiggling on the ground. um And this monster screams in your guys face. We're gonna cut