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C1 E5: GAH
24 Plays11 months ago
Finally back to their correct height our troublesome group start back on their quest... or do they..?
CONTENT WARNING: This episode contains fantasy violence, crime, potential trigger statements, and strong profanity. Visit Https://www.linktr.ee/tacticalcrits for social media, Spotify, Apple Podcasts and our Youtube channel.
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Transcript
Recap and Return to Quest
00:00:03
Speaker
To a tactical crits. To a tactical crits. Production.
00:00:17
Speaker
Previously on Legion of Dice, our band of unlikely heroes embarked on a journey to Eowyn City in pursuit of the first fragment of a mystical artifact capable of altering the destiny of Erom. Along the way, they stumbled upon a mysterious shack and to their astonishment found themselves reduced to the size of ants.
To Confront the Rock Fiend?
00:00:43
Speaker
Amidst a harrowing battle for survival, they've valiantly fought their way back to their normal proportions.
00:00:50
Speaker
Now, fully restored and resolute, our heroes prepare to press onward in their mission. But before they depart, will they seize the opportunity for a final confrontation with the rock fiend that led them to the shrinking shack?
Character Introductions and Backgrounds
00:01:07
Speaker
With determination in their hearts, swords in their hands, and blood on their fangs, they stand ready to face whatever challenges lie ahead.
00:01:21
Speaker
Welcome back to the world of Aram. I am Zachary Balter. I'm playing Bruce the Bod. Am I saying a fun fact now? Yes. Okay. Yeah. All right. Just making sure. Yeah. Fun fact about Bruce. He studied at the College of Chaos. So shout out to Theodore Wilder for making this homebrew. But
00:01:47
Speaker
There's a lot in store for coming up for the things he's gonna start doing and the abilities he's gonna gain throughout this show. Fuck yeah. I'm super excited for some chaotic shit. Hey everybody, I'm Chase Dixon. I am the voice of Axon of the Golden Fang. And my fun fact is I have hunted
00:02:13
Speaker
Numerous beasts in my time in Antara, all of them except for one. I was never able to get my hands on the woolly mammoth. And when I return, I will defeat the woolly mammoth. I'm super excited for you to get impaled by a woolly mammoth.
00:02:35
Speaker
Hey, I'm Matthew Jacobson. I played Noct for Tenebris. I very recently just got done spending some time with Tieflings, like a tribe of them or
Johnny's Tinkering and its Implications
00:02:44
Speaker
a village. And I picked up playing dice with those Tieflings and now I like to play dice and I try to get people involved in my little dice game. It's true, can't confirm. What's the name of the dice game?
00:02:57
Speaker
So real world is called Farkle. It's a real game. Hey everyone, Kent Rawlings. I play Vexos Nightshade. Fun fact about Vexos this week is even though he's extremely good at it, he hates the
00:03:14
Speaker
the tedious things that go into being stealthy, like walking quietly and sneaking around, he actually really gets annoyed by how much work goes into it. So he hates like just what he's good at? Yeah, exactly. All right, well,
00:03:39
Speaker
Welcome back, everyone. I hope you guys are excited. It's been about two weeks since we've last recorded, so it's been a while.
Potion Discovery and Dice Game
00:03:50
Speaker
Last that we were here together, you guys just became normal sized again. You looked over, or you made Johnny Phelps try to create this,
00:04:09
Speaker
this shrinking ray into a pocketable or at least like a movable size. And you guys have been sitting here for hours, letting him just tinker away and try to make it a little bit smaller. And during this time, you guys got to do a short rest. And what have you guys been doing this time where he's just been tinkering away? Petting my snake. Yeah, I bet you were. I them wise my snake.
00:04:39
Speaker
Yeah, you know, I was taking care of him grooming him. Oh, she's. I've been keeping an eye on our new gigantic friend that is a rat, Ricky Rat, as he is my natural enemy. He's your natural enemy now one is Ricky Rat. Is he gigantic with us? I thought he just the
Johnny's Escape Attempt and Capture
00:05:02
Speaker
other he's still the same normal size. Well, so as as the
00:05:07
Speaker
Shrinking Ray did the reversal and brought you guys up to scale. It also brought him because he was normal size at the time, up to scale. So at this point, he's roughly the size of a horse, but a rat. I hate him. And what have what have Noctifer and Vexos been doing? I'm fucking searching the house for just weird little baubles or something, something that might seem interesting. All right.
00:05:38
Speaker
Yeah, I went over to a nice little dark little corner and just started meditating the whole time. All right, so knocked for, while you were kind of looking around, just give me an investigation check. 16. 16? So you're kind of looking around. It's not a very big shack. There's kind of like a little, a bathroom kind of area in the back. It's really just a hole in the shack that he's been going to the bathroom before he's shrunk.
00:06:09
Speaker
And you found like a couple, a couple of vials and a couple, looks like parts that he was trying to make something new, but he never quite finished before he shrunk himself. And as you're, you know, looking at it, uh, Phelps looks over at you and he says,
00:06:35
Speaker
You probably don't want to touch this. It's a little dangerous. What do you mean a little dangerous? Well, I've been doing some DNA splicing and some of the DNA in there could affect you in a negative way.
00:07:03
Speaker
I would very much advise against this. Say someone did drink it, what might happen to them? Maybe if they drank it involuntarily? Well, the last time this happened, it was a baby. The last time it happened? Yes, this baby goblin came in here and drank it and ran out and I think,
Dealing with Johnny's Fate
00:07:27
Speaker
I don't know, last time I saw him, he was foaming at the mouth. Okay.
00:07:32
Speaker
What I'm hearing is chemical warfare. Well, warfare is warfare, but it's chemical, yes. Do you need this? I mean, I've been using it. I don't know what would you do with this? Chemical warfare? Well, if you have some money, you can take this. How much money? I think maybe 200 gold.
00:08:03
Speaker
What? I mean, this is pretty potent shit. It's not like I picked this up from the grocery store. Yeah, but we just saved your life. You've been, like, a tiny human for God knows how long. I'm making you fucking shrinkly. What do you want from me? Mr. Phelps, let me offer you a deal, okay? Let's roll some dice.
00:08:25
Speaker
okay and whoever's school is high it just wins the vial give me uh fuck what's it called not investing god persuasion thank you persuasion check 10 i don't think this is a good idea i think i should make 200 gold yeah but see what would you be doing with this if we didn't take it because we're going to put it to like you know really good ethical uses uh whereas you're just gonna
00:08:52
Speaker
I don't know. Do something weird with it. Ethical to me? I mean, I don't think you understand what ethical means. I know
Loot and Preparing for Next Move
00:09:07
Speaker
when I use this it's definitely not ethical.
00:09:10
Speaker
But I don't think you understand that this is also not ethical. We use it to take out bad people. Is Johnny standing next to like a wall? I mean, there's, it's not a very big shack. So there's kind of walls. Mostly within five feet of each of you. I'm going to take out a dagger and throw it where it like skims right across his face and lands into the wall right next to him. And I'm going to tell him to roll the dice. Yeah. Roll the dice. Funny man.
00:09:39
Speaker
Making an attack roll. 17. Okay, I'll say that you were able to throw it and it didn't hit him. It did kind of slice maybe a little bit of his cheek and freaking out a little bit. And he'll say, okay, fine, fine, fine. I'll play the right game. I'll play. But if I win, you still owe me a hundred gold. I need to make a living here.
00:10:09
Speaker
I
Goblin Area Encounter
00:10:10
Speaker
throw my other dagger. Can I use my fixed dice? I mean, you can, you can, uh, it's going to be a deception check. Um, so what, what ice game are you trying to play with him? It's just a quick roll to see who scores higher. All right. So just like, uh, roll off D 20. Yep. All right. So, uh, I'm going to use his hand on the dice because I don't think.
00:10:38
Speaker
I don't think he has any dice on him. I'm just saying I rolled a mod 23 for, uh, for my deception check. Oh, for deception. I was going to say the actual roll would, it couldn't be over it. Yeah. Okay. Uh, yeah, he definitely, he definitely doesn't notice. I'm still going to roll to see, cause I'm assuming your, your, uh, loaded dice is a D 20. So I rolled a 20. Yeah.
00:11:09
Speaker
And he absolutely was deceived. So I'm going to roll and see if he gets a nat 20. And that's the only way he could really win this. Seven. I was going to say no shot. There's no way. There's a way. Yeah. So he rolls a seven. Well fucking god damn it. Okay. 100 gold.
00:11:31
Speaker
And then you have, you can take this. That was not the deal. This is deal. I said, if I lose, you said, if we lose, I said, if I lose, I stole the control. No, you said if, if we lose, we still owe you a hundred gold. Yeah. Give me a hundred gold. I have 50. So if everybody wants to know, we have a, we have a, we have a little bit from, we haven't spent any of the 500 gold that we got from.
00:12:00
Speaker
uh the silver serpents yeah you guys absolutely still have a decent amount of gold yeah do you guys do you guys want to how much how much of this vial is there is it just like a vial or is it yeah it's one pile like two inches tall
00:12:18
Speaker
kind of like a good so really it's definitely single use what you're saying yeah it's single you but extremely potent all right yeah fuck it i'll throw in 25 i will also throw in 25 yeah i'll throw in 25 okay here is the aisle be very fucking careful with this and he's gonna hand it over to you and
00:12:42
Speaker
I'm mostly finished with this shilling clay. I will need you to stand guard for a little bit and make sure nothing comes to this shack and I will finish the tinkering and then you'll get this in about like 20 minutes. Where you was?
00:13:06
Speaker
Why do you want us outside of the shack? That's where all the fucking goblins and the rock monsters are. Well, this is going to get a little, uh, it's called to get messy. This last portion is
Rock Monster Cliffhanger
00:13:15
Speaker
the power transfer from, and you guys kind of look over and you can see there's like almost a tube going from the back of it, going directly into the ground. Like, like there was not even a hole, but it's just like continuously, you can see that it's like going somewhere underground.
00:13:36
Speaker
And he points at it, and he's saying, this power source comes from inside mountain. It's like a very chaotic energy, and I need to make it fused into this. It could go very wrong. Okay. All right. Yeah, I guess we'll stay outside then. How long? You said 20 minutes? Yes.
00:14:04
Speaker
I want to make a stealth check to remain inside the house and just keep an eye on old Johnny. Okay. Yeah, I rolled a 27. All right. I'll say as everyone is walking out, you know, he kind of turns back towards the machine and you kind of like duck behind like a little desk or something and everyone else kind of starts walking out and he just didn't notice you do that.
00:14:34
Speaker
All right. Okay. So he definitely doesn't see you. And as everyone else is walking out, he starts, you see him, he starts tinkering with, uh, with the back of this device and he takes out like this big gem that was kind of like stuffed in a cabinet and you see him attach it to this tube. He like pulls it out of the back of the machine, sticks it into this gem and it starts to like power up and you can see it start to glow.
00:15:05
Speaker
And you wait like about 10 minutes. It finishes powering up and you see it's glowing pretty brightly. He sticks it into the machine. He, uh, he picks it up and he goes to the back of the shack and he opens up a secret door and he starts trying to get away. Yeah, I definitely, I scream.
00:15:34
Speaker
Boys get in here and I start chasing down into the door. I kicked the door open. What the fuck you're supposed to wait another 10 minutes? The lion pounces. Give me an attack roll. That's a natural 20. Jesus Christ. Yeah, you hit him. And with that, I would like to grab him by the throat and pin him against the wall. Okay.
00:16:02
Speaker
okay okay jesus christ okay i just uh i just need to get something back there okay nothing there's nothing going on yeah bullshit one of us can go get it oh i don't really need it it's okay we could leave it back there no problem what's uh what's down there oh you know there was like some stuff but don't worry
00:16:25
Speaker
you don't have to worry about it you can just take this machine and you can go hey hold on guys hold on I'm gonna squeak by I'm gonna go into that back room and just start looking around trying to see what I can find
00:16:37
Speaker
Yeah, while Axiom hasn't pinned up, I take our 100 gold back. Hey, hey, I still give you things. No, you fucked up. Big time guy. What maybe you don't know what I was doing. Okay, maybe there's like something else to give you from back there. Hey guys, does anyone remember the last time I've eaten?
00:17:02
Speaker
I'm feeling hungry.
00:17:21
Speaker
You won't eat me. This is no big deal." And then he looks over at Noctifer and he's like, you might eat me. I don't know what is wrong with you, but please do not fucking touch me. And he's gonna say, okay, look, look. In the back, there is a little bag of money and a tunnel that would have helped me get out of here, alright? If you just leave me the fucking loan, you can take the money and you can go.
00:17:50
Speaker
Is the shrink ray completed? Yes. Why are you trying to run from this anyways? You act like we're bad people. We haven't done anything to you until, you know... We gave you a hundred gold. Yeah, we were being amicable. Yeah, and you tried to take my shrink ray. We are taking your shrink ray. That's happening. Okay. You take money. You take shrink ray. I go now. Okay. Okay. He's going to try to like pry your hand off and try to...
00:18:20
Speaker
I'm going to reinforce, like I'm just gonna like dig in a little bit harder. Okay, okay, okay, what do you want? Let's take this to a vote. I know, I know something that I want. Noctifer, what do you want? He seems like a pretty resourceful person, albeit somewhat dishonest. Maybe we should uh, maybe we should chain him up and give him to the silvered serpents. Let them use him. I don't like this idea.
00:18:46
Speaker
I do. And right now, what you want doesn't seem like it's that big of a concern. Oh, it's no concern. Yeah. Oh, shit. What if I give you like, you know, something else? What? You there's nothing else in this room. I mean, yeah, you took everything from me. I just how about. Yeah, don't do it. I don't know. I say we kill the man.
00:19:17
Speaker
Oh Jesus Christ. Kill him. I am of the same mind. Please don't hurt me. No, I think we should give our mutual friends someone that they can use.
00:19:30
Speaker
They can just use them as like a slave, you know? You know, I'm starting to warm up to the idea. Yeah, the only thing is though, boys, is that... But he would be very cumbersome to travel with. Yeah, we would have to return back to deliver this present and then we just started our journey. Yeah, so like you, you let me go and maybe I see you in the future. We can do contract. The only thing I want, I walk up and I just start taking his shoes off.
00:20:01
Speaker
And I take his shoes. He has, uh, actually, you know what? Relatively nice shoes. Beautiful. You had that written down. They're just relatively nice. I say we let the man go. I've changed my heart. Let's let him go. He said something about a contract. Let him, uh, let's see what he has to offer. We have no, we have no insurance that he will deliver himself to the silver serpents. Yeah. He already tried to break his word.
00:20:30
Speaker
Well, there was no contract before. I think we just clean him out and fucking let him go on his way. Fuck this guy. I like this idea too. Clean him out, like clean out his guts? I think, as much as I despise him, with every fur on my body, with every fiber of my being, do I despise him. I think Ricky should be able to take a limb. I don't have all my limbs already. I know.
00:21:00
Speaker
Okay. Can we take mechanical? No. So where's this, uh, where's this gold that you said that you have? It is in back room, just open door and there's a little, uh, it's a little sack. It's just on the corner right there. I'm going to go, uh, Bruce is going to go walk, walk his way over to the money. All right. Give me an X 30 stepping through.
00:21:31
Speaker
Um, 13. Okay. So you, as you walk in a arrow, just bears, he misses right by your head and just like slams into the other side. Yeah. I'm going to turn it. Bruce is going to turn around and go, yeah, kill the fucker. Okay. Okay. I didn't, I forgot. Yeah. I'm going to, I'm going to attempt to stick my hand through his mouth.
00:21:59
Speaker
All right. Roll me an attack roll. 16. All right. Roll me a damage. Eight. All right. So you slam his head up against the wall. And he just starts having like blood come out of his like nose and like ears. And he definitely has a really bad concussion. And
00:22:20
Speaker
He's like, look, please don't kill me. Don't kill me. I forgot. I forgot. There's no more traps. There's just no more traps. Just take the gold. Fool me once. Shame on you. Fool me twice. I'm an idiot. And I'm going to go and again attempt to stick my hand through the back of his head. Roll me another attack roll.
00:22:49
Speaker
Oh wait, shouldn't it be with advantage because he's grappled? Sure. That's a mod 20. That's a mod 22. Yeah, that hits. We're Bruce's and I'm going to kind of look around for any more of their traps. That is a seven damage. Seven damage. And all right. So Vexus, you walk over there and
00:23:14
Speaker
there's no other traps and as you're about to turn over and let axon know that axon slams his head against the wall and his giant massive paw goes through his skull and you just see brains splatter up against the wall and his lifeless body just drops hey axon he's not lying it's it's clear down here
00:23:42
Speaker
As I as I'm looking at like the corpse, it's now on the ground, my ass acts on hey, do you like your meat cooked or raw? The Leonin way is to eat immediately after a kill. I shall now sever his body in half and split it with the rat. It's very nice of you. I thought you hated the rat. He needs to survive. He will make us stronger. I just shake my head and I start a pilgrim in the bottom room. All right.
00:24:12
Speaker
Um, you start splitting his body apart and I guess digesting him. And after you guys kind of look around the entire area, you just see that there's this new shrink ray that has a glowing gem on the back of it. And you have, uh, you guys find like two more vials. You guys don't know what they are. And.
00:24:41
Speaker
You find a little sack of gold, another 100 gold pieces that he was trying to grab before he left. I'm going to take the gold and I'm going to spread it out 25 each. Hell yeah. So I bring the vial and the shrinkery and stuff. I just bring it upstairs and I just put it on the desk that I was hiding behind. And I say, all right, boys, this is what we got.
00:25:06
Speaker
A quick question for clarity. So we got our initial 25 for the vial back and then another 25 on top. Yes. Got damn right. We did. All right. So after you guys, you know, rummage through all this dead man's things. What do you guys do next?
00:25:26
Speaker
I'm going to go up to Ricky. I'm going to give him like a nice pet and then, uh, I'm going to hop on his back and use him as a Mount. Is Stan wise getting a little jealous or no. He's content. I, uh, I made sure to snag a finger off of a Phelps's body to give to him. Beautiful.
00:25:46
Speaker
I'm gonna grab the vials and ask if anybody wants them. If they don't, then I'm just gonna keep them on me and investigate them along the way. Who has the highest strength in the party? Probably Noctifer. Oh, yeah, no me. Looks like you're the pack mule, bitch. Grab the shrink ray. Wait, no, why don't you take it up on the mount? You can just tie it to the fucking rat. He's a donkey. You said he's the size of a horse. That means he can carry shit like a horse. Yeah.
00:26:15
Speaker
That's not how that works. Whatever, the rat's carrying it. All right, I'll use my rope to tie the shrink machine, shrink ray onto the back. And then I'm going to kind of wrap it around another rope because I have more than one. Wrap it around his mouth and use him like a mount like leads to fucking not in a harmful way, in like a nice way. He's accepting this. All right. Then we, I guess, head back out to the road.
00:26:43
Speaker
Yeah, I mean we could see where this tunnel is supposed to head. Turn that giant rock monster into a pile of pebbles with our new tool. That's an option too.
00:26:53
Speaker
We know where they are now too, so we could approach them in a much different manner. One thing to note, while I was in the house, I saw Johnny, the way that he operated that shrink ray, he took a large gemstone and he plugged it up to that underground running pipe or whatever it was, tube.
00:27:18
Speaker
and it just started glowing. So I think we should definitely be a little cautious when using that, because I have no idea what kind of power that he used to charge that rock. Well, if we go downstairs, if we follow that tunnel, it might show us that power source that he's using. Also, one thing to consider, while we cannot grant the servitude of Johnny Phelps to the Silver Serpents, we can give them
00:27:48
Speaker
a look at the shrink ray so that they have the chance to perhaps make a blueprint. Might as well. I like it. Get some use out of the piece of shit. Could you imagine a guild of thieves that can shrink whatever they want? Nope. Well, we're fucked. We're so fucked. No, no, you're not fucked. It's going to explode as soon as we use it. I hope not.
00:28:12
Speaker
The shrinker is a nuke. I guess you'll find out. We'll see what happens. Let's go fuck up the rock monster. Rock lobster.
00:28:28
Speaker
So I do want to say, uh, so as we get back on the path and stuff, I'm going to, I want to pull out these vials and kind of inspect them a little bit closer and see if I can figure out what, uh, these, if they're the same DNA altering, uh, goo that he was making, or if it's something different. Do you have any proficiency in like Arcana? Yes, I do have proficiency in Arcana. Okay. So.
00:28:57
Speaker
roll straight. It's not with advantage, you're gonna roll straight because it would have been disadvantaged if you did not have proficiency in it. Okay. Nine. So you look really intently at these and there's a lot of liquid in there and it seems to be glowing. All right. I'm gonna put that back in the pocket.
00:29:24
Speaker
Like, whoa, it's cool. And then I guess we're just traveling back down the path. All right. So you guys walk out and you guys start walking down the path. Are you guys going back towards the goblin area that you guys ran from or are you going the other way? I don't know. We're killing the goblins. All right. So you start walking up to it stealthily.
00:29:53
Speaker
Oh, stealthily. Okay, everyone roll stealth. Am I at disadvantage since I'm on a giant rat? Yeah, I mean, you guys don't have... Yeah. It's okay, I rolled a four anyway, so it doesn't matter. Okay. I rolled a mod 21. Okay. I rolled a seven. So as you guys are creeping along, Bruce is on a fucking giant rat.
00:30:22
Speaker
walking down the center of this tunnel, but like slowly thinking they won't be seen and Noctifer is hiding right behind the rat while Axon and Vexos are hiding on opposite sides. And I'm assuming Axon is kind of like,
00:30:40
Speaker
climbing a little bit, like on the side of the wall, kind of like at the top of the tunnel. Vexos is going between big rocks and making sure that there's like vines covering him and stuff. But as you guys are going through, Romeo dexterity saving throw Bruce. That's an eight. Oh fuck. So you're sitting on top of, you're sitting on top of,
00:31:10
Speaker
this, uh, fuck Ricky, you're sitting on top of Ricky and an arrow starts flying towards you and hits you in the left shoulder. It's always the shoulder. Not my fucking shoulders again.
00:31:23
Speaker
And, uh, and it only does three damage as it hits your shoulder. And, uh, and then you just start hearing a bunch of goblins start snickering in, in like, uh, around the corner and a couple like hiding me some rocks. You can hear them, but you guys can't see them. We only, we took a short rest, correct? No, you guys took a long rest. It would have taken a couple, a decent amount of hours for him to
00:31:54
Speaker
to incur enough to get this shrink ray optimized. Cool. About how far away are we from where we think these, these goblins might be? So they are anywhere between 50 to 100 feet, you know, they're close enough where they can shoot an arrow at you, but they're definitely hidden. And as long as
00:32:22
Speaker
As long as Vexos and, uh, Axon aren't doing anything. You guys don't have to, but, uh, Bruce and Noctifer, actually, you know what? Everyone roll initiative. Damn it. Uh, seven or 18. Oh, that's a five. Seven. Eight, 25. These new dice aren't helping at all. Mine dice help a lot. Should I roll initiative for Ricky as well?
00:32:52
Speaker
Uh, no, he'll just go on, on your turn and you can, uh, there's what I'll say. You can use him. Same thing as you can technically use them wise. If they start to make attacks, there's a good chance they will get attacked. I'd rather him than me. That's fair. That's fair.
00:33:16
Speaker
You guys get hit by this by this arrow and or Bruce gets hit by this arrow on the left shoulder and you started hearing all around these different corners and around the rocks kind of like echoing all over the place. What do you guys what do you guys try to do? You guys don't see anything. You just hear an echoing cackling and snickering. I'm going to take cover. I'm going to try to get to the highest point possible so I can see as much
00:33:46
Speaker
Axon, you start climbing up to the top and you got, you start like getting a good advantage point. And you can see two goblins that are behind a rock about 25 feet away from you are where you are. And they don't see you. They're looking kind of like around the corners at the part of the rest of the party. And they don't see that you're above them.
00:34:11
Speaker
Noctithor, you go to start running towards cover and there's, I mean, there's enough rocks around and you can kind of like hide behind a rock that's about 15 feet to your left. Okay. Axon, you go and you see these two goblins underneath you. What do you do? Those are the only two I see. Yeah. Okay. I am going to
00:34:38
Speaker
counts. So I'm just going to jump from my perch and attack them from above. Do I get like advantage on attack rolls since they can't see me? Okay, cool. Yeah. And then I'm also going to use a flurry of blows so that I get three unarmed attacks. Nice. So on the first one, that's a 12. Does that hit? Yes. I'm going to hit the one. I'm assuming they're like next to each other. So I'm going to hit the one on the right twice, and then I'm going to hit the other one once. So that one was a 22.
00:35:05
Speaker
And then that is a 14. So all of them hit. If you're gonna do, which, are you doing two attacks on the right, one attack on the left? One, two. I'm gonna do like a one, two on the one, and then I'm gonna do a sidekick to the head of the other goblin. Let me get some damage. So for the first one, he will take a total of 10 damage. Okay.
00:35:31
Speaker
And the second one that's gonna get fucking kicked in the snoot is gonna take six damage. All right, so you pounce down, you fucking murder this shit on the right. Let me know how how we died. Yeah, so I'm gonna hit him in the in the temple, which I completely disorient them. And then when I come around with the left hook, it's gonna
00:35:51
Speaker
Just take his fucking jaw off. So, uh, after you murdered the first one, the second one completely freaked the fuck out looking at his buddy and you just fucking Jackie Chan, like kick this dude in the face. And he is, uh, he's freaking the fuck out and it is not the first term. Oh, wait, wait. Uh, I would like to use the rest of my movement to get into, uh, get into the line of sight of my friends so that they know where some goblins
00:36:19
Speaker
If you do, you would take attack of opportunity. I take back what I said to me. Immediately. Immediately.
00:36:30
Speaker
Alright, what does Noctifer do? I am going to see, how far away is the rock that I just saw Axon pounce into? From you, about 20 feet. Okay, I am going to run up behind that rock since I can hear him doing some little scuffling back there. I'm going to run up behind that rock and...
00:36:50
Speaker
I'm assuming that I see one of those goblins. Yeah, you'll see one dead on the ground without a job. And then you'll see another one that is looking directly at Axon and holding a crossbow in one hand and freak the fuck out. Okay, I'm gonna take a swing at that one. All right. It's a 15 hit? Yes. Good, good. 11.
00:37:17
Speaker
Tell me how you murder him. I'm just gonna cleave him right in half. All right, so this guy freaked out that his buddy just got his jaw ripped off and died, and then he looks back at you guys as your sword just cuts like him right in the middle, and then the top half just slides slowly until it just falls off the bottom half. And as you guys do that,
00:37:45
Speaker
Does a 16 hit? Me? Yes. So you cleave the student half and you see two arrows shoot at you. One going towards your right shoulder.
00:38:01
Speaker
And the other one going towards your kneecap. I'm going to use, uh, I'm gonna use a reaction and I'm gonna use a shield. That gives you plus four on your, uh, AC, right? Plus five. So you shield these two arrows come directly. I'm assuming a 17 also doesn't beat you. No. All right. So these two arrows come directly at you and then using shield, you just block these guys off. I'm assuming like what cutting out of the air with your sword.
00:38:30
Speaker
pretty much uh no i basically sum up like a like a black inky wall that just like turns them into like mist and uh and yeah so these these arrows go to hit the mist and then just disintegrate and
00:38:51
Speaker
Oh, that definitely is. And you see one more arrow flying towards Axon and then I guess there must be an updraft because it just goes directly up and misses by like 15 feet.
00:39:02
Speaker
Now it's Vexus' turn. Yeah, so I'm going to just keep moving stealthily up, moving in between the cover of shadows and rocks. And I get up to where Axon and Noctifer are. I see that the two goblins have been handled. And I continue moving forward in the cover of the shadows. All right, so you move 30 feet up on the right.
00:39:32
Speaker
And 30 feet up, you can start hearing, uh, there are some goblins only about like 10 feet in front of you also behind another set of rocks. So I look back at Noctifer, an axon, and I just start making hand gestures. Just a little, a little too forward, too back, uh, eyes, eyes. Exactly. And that'll bring us to Bruce.
00:40:02
Speaker
Yeah. So Bruce is just going to move, uh, mounted on Ricky kind of behind, uh, Axon and Noctifer kind of just like staying behind everybody. So it doesn't get shot in the fucking shoulder again. Uh, but also moving forward. So I don't know what 30 feet, 25 feet. So I was also going to say since you're on Ricky, Ricky can move 40 feet. Okay. Well then I'm going to move up to.
00:40:30
Speaker
Not up to, but close to Vexo, so I don't blow his cover, but I can kind of get closer to him. All right. Did you do anything else when you get up there? Can I see anything? You can't see anything, but now that you're up that far, you can also start hearing that there are like maybe just 10 feet in front of you behind the next set of rocks. You can hear a couple of goblins like snickering and reloading crossbows.
00:40:56
Speaker
Yeah. I, uh, I'm also going to turn around and throw the same hand signals up to, uh, did you mirror the exact same ones too? So the exact same ones, me and actually are just like, what the fuck? I look at Bruce and I'm like, Hey, we're on the same page. I like that. And, uh, as soon as you come up there, Oh my God, you look up and, or you look, or you're hearing them, you start making all of these gestures.
00:41:25
Speaker
And as you're looking back, a goblin pops up with the crossbows, goes to shoot you and then it hits the rock in front of him and sparks go off and it kind of like blinds the goblin for a second. And he's standing there just like trying to get sparks out of his eye. He rolled in that one. And that'll bring us to Axon. So he's standing on top of a rock that's close to us, right? Yeah.
00:41:56
Speaker
Okay, I want to jump up the rock and on my way up, I want to try to grab him by the throat and use my momentum to just carry him down, slam his ass on the ground behind the rock. Make it a tech roll. Mod 20, or I'm sorry, Mod 19. Yep, that hits. It's going to do five damage. When I get to the other side of the rock, are there any more goblins? Yes, there's two goblins there. Yeah, so these two goblins there after you like choke slam the sky to the ground.
00:42:26
Speaker
OK, so three total. No, just two. Sorry. There's two there. Yeah. Then I'm going to use flurry of blows again to. To make two more attacks. That one done fucking hit. That's a fucking nine. So I'm going to as I jump up and slam this guy in the ground, I'm just going to punch him in the face really fucking hard.
00:42:48
Speaker
Seven damage and then I'm going to pounce from the ground to the to the other goblin and completely just jump straight over it all right, so you absolutely fuck up one of the goblins and then you jump up your the next goblin and As you do that you just start hearing kind of an echo around most of the cave and
00:43:16
Speaker
Bruce, you would hear him saying, rock, rock, rock, rock. And that'll bring us to Noctifer. All right, I am going to run up to the, well, hold on, how far is Vex and Bruce? I think we're like 10 feet in front of you. Yeah, about 10 feet in front of you is Bruce and Vexos.
00:43:40
Speaker
And then about 10 feet in front of that is where Axon is. And he just jumped up there like after choke slamming the other one. Okay. Yeah. I'm going to run up. Is there a way for me to get up there? It's not jumping. Yeah. It's not a giant rock. It's not like a, you could probably jump over it. Okay. Yeah. I'll do the same. I'll come in and help finish off the other goblin. All right. Yeah. 22. Yeah. That hits.
00:44:09
Speaker
Oh, that's a lot of damn 13. Tell me how you murder him. I'm just gonna stick him like a skewer and just stick it straight through his belly and then turn him up and try to hand it to Axon like it's a like a kebab. I'm gonna take a bite out of his out of his torso and then spit it out because it tastes like shit.
00:44:30
Speaker
And I'm just gonna, I'm just gonna swing my sword so that like, the body will fall off towards the other goblin friend. Yeah, he's uh, he's freaking out as his buddy. It's just like, body is just completely torn apart. And uh, and he's just gonna try to take a swing at Axon at this point after Axon had already hit him first. And does a five hit you? Absolutely not. Yeah, that's what I thought. So he goes to shoot this uh,
00:45:00
Speaker
shoot this crossbow at you, and he just like, as he's bringing it up, shoots the ground, he pulled the trigger way too early, hit the ground, and then he aims at you, and he's like, oh, fuck. But in Goblin, so it's like, yeah, get left. And then, yeah, his other buddy's dead. You guys start hearing behind you, kind of like a gravelly noise.
00:45:28
Speaker
And that'll bring us to Vexos. How far in front of us is this like?
00:45:35
Speaker
The other goblins that we hear, like, can we see them or that you said they were in a cave type thing? Yeah. So you guys are in a big tunnel. So you guys have like echoing kind of going all around you and you can kind of hear most of it's coming in front of you. So, you know, there's at least one other goblin in front of you were, were axon and nocturnal. You can tell that there's probably at least another 10 somewhere spread around out in front of you.
00:46:02
Speaker
And then from behind you is where you start hearing like a gravelly type of type of noise going on. Are there any are there any type of like vines or or anything on the side of the walls that I can climb to get up a little bit higher? Yeah, there's some vines. There's also just like, you know, rock structure like there are handholds that you can try to grab onto.
00:46:26
Speaker
I'm gonna, I'm just gonna move a little bit more forward. Obviously, you know, going in between the cover of darkness and rocks and move up as far as I can up to 30 feet to see if I can get eyes on any other goblins. Alright, so as you go up there, you definitely like
00:46:48
Speaker
depending on you're gonna get to a point where there's gonna be some goblins directly behind another rock right like right behind another rock and you can either try to like jump up over that rock or you can stop there and this is about like just almost at 30 feet so you're like 25 feet all right so I want to stop on the front side of that rock and then I want to
00:47:13
Speaker
just kind of I want to peek a little bit around and see if I can like locate exactly where they're at. So you can definitely see there's like four goblins behind this big rock. You have one guy who's holding a crossbow and then you have four that are wearing some armor and they've got some some swords in their hands like
00:47:40
Speaker
relative, like an EDM size towards, um, one handed and shields in the left hand. Okay. And they're screaming. All right. I'm going to turn around to, uh, to my fellow teammates there. And then I'm also going to add on with four, four total one with the crossbow.
00:48:08
Speaker
and make a little crossbow, and then three with a sword and shield. And then I'm gonna stay right there under the instill. You are stealthing behind this rock. And then let me get, what is Bruce doing? Bruce is gonna see where Vexos is. He's gonna like run over there.
00:48:37
Speaker
He's going to jump right into the middle of all of those goblins. And then he is going to cast. Thunder clap. Hmm. Yeah. So every single goblin has to make a constant constitution saving throw. What do they have to be? Thirteen. Thirteen. And what does thunderclap do? Um.
00:49:01
Speaker
Create a burst of thunderous sound that can be heard up to 100 feet away. Each creature within range other than you must succeed on a constitution saving throw or take one d6 thunder damage. They all failed. All right. So give me a d6 for all of them. One, not a one, not a one. Five. Oh, wait, for every single one, how many are there? There are four, yeah.
00:49:27
Speaker
Yeah, it should be the same wave of energy. Yeah, it's me five for all of them. I'm going with five. All right, so they all take five points of damage. Do you see them kind of like get electrocuted, hair standing on end? It's kind of like smoke rising from their body. And one of the ones with his shield looks over from where he came from, and he starts running at you with his sword, trips over himself, and then falls onto his own sword.
00:49:58
Speaker
and impales himself with the sword that he was holding, because he rolled in that one. That's a natural one. Yeah, that's a natural one. He rolled max damage on himself, so that was cool. But as he's getting impaled, you just hear him look up and smile, or you see him look up and smile at you, and he just goes, gah. And from that moment, you hear behind you a monstrous,
00:50:31
Speaker
And a giant rock starts rolling towards you guys from the rear, stops, legs sprout out, it stands up, and it's looking directly at you guys, ready to fight. Help. And we'll see what happens on the next episode. So we're level three now.
00:50:59
Speaker
Hey everyone, thank you so much for listening to this week's Legion of Dice. Our cast this week includes Zack Balter as Bruce, Matthew Jacobson as Knoxford, Chase Dixon as Axon, Kent Rawlings as Vexos, and myself, Dean Balter as your dungeon master.
00:51:15
Speaker
We just want to say a special shout out to all you great listeners on Patreon, YouTube, Apple, and Spotify. You guys really make a huge difference for us and we are so happy to be giving you guys content every single week. If you guys enjoy this content and you want to help continue creating more Epic Tales, consider becoming a Patreon subscriber at Patreon.com slash Tactical Chris. You'll get access to exclusive perks, extra bonus content, and our extreme gratitude.
00:51:46
Speaker
If you guys wanna follow us, please do. It's gonna be on Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, YouTube, all at Tactical Crits. And you can join our Discord at Tactical Crit. Stay tuned for everything that's coming up. And until next time, may your dice rolls be ever in your favor.
00:52:24
Speaker
Yeah.