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C1 E2: Umbral Shadows
26 Plays1 year ago
Our band of boobs were lucky to escape prison but what is there next step, who are these thieves guild members that helped them escape, and why did they want the map?
CONTENT WARNING: This episode contains fantasy violence, Crime, Alcohol use, amnesia, potential trigger statements and strong profanity.
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Transcript
00:00:01
Speaker
This content warning can be found in the description.
Escape from the Jail with Eugene
00:01:09
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Last time, our intrepid quartet of adventurers woke up disoriented in a jail cell. Slowly regaining consciousness, through cunning conversation and a bit of key pilfering, they were offered an escape route by Eugene, a bugbear affiliated with the notorious Silver Serpent's Thieves Guild. Opting for stealth over brute force, they navigated the jail's corridors in search of their gear. Along the way, they encountered a hapless guard on his lunch break and becoming more than friendly with a hobgoblin.
00:01:36
Speaker
However, their escape was far from smooth sailing, as they found themselves pursued by relentless guards through dark tunnels and into treacherous mail shoots. Despite dispatching most of their pursuers, one vengeful guard remains, swearing retribution. Undeterred, our party takes a daring plunge into a seemingly bottomless pit, their fate hanging in the balance.
Character Introductions: Bruce the Bard and Axon of the Golden Fang
00:01:58
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Welcome to the world of Aram. And I'm joined by
00:02:05
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I am Zach Balter. I play Bruce, full name Bruce the Bard. I am a... Where am I going with this? Where is a fun fact, right? Yeah, are we describing ourselves? Hello, description and a fun fact.
00:02:24
Speaker
I am Bruce, full name Bruce the Bard. I'm a UNT, so I'm a snake-like humanoid. And I have a familiar pet snake named Thamwise that is actually my cousin that was turned into a snake. So he just follows us around and you'll see him in and out of the party. It's my fun fact. And for our Patreon subscribers, you know Thamwise.
00:02:55
Speaker
from uh from session zero and one he almost got eaten i'm also joined by it hey everybody i'm chase dixon i play axon of the golden fang and the fun fact about axon for today is i wag my tail when i'm hungry oh you must be uh wagging it all the time
00:03:19
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It won't stop. It honestly hasn't stopped since position zero. Poor guy.
Meet Noct and Vexos: Character Backstories
00:03:27
Speaker
Why do you think I was licking my paw so much when we were leaving the jail? The bloody paws. The blood paw. We'll see if we can get you any food today. Yeah, Samwise is looking real pasty right about now. I'm also joined by him.
00:03:45
Speaker
I'm Matt Jameson and I play Noct for Tenebrous who is a black blood Asmir. Very tall, very big dude. And like he likes to help people, but he's also struggles with helping people in his own way now instead of what he used to. All right. And I'm joined by
00:04:10
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Hey, how's it going, everyone? I'm Kent Rawlings.
Into the Debs Enclave Mines
00:04:13
Speaker
I'm playing Vexos Nightshade, a dark elf rogue warlock multi-class. Fun fact about Vexos is that any time that he stabs or produces blood on someone, his eyes start growing a little bit redder. I think every time you stab someone,
00:04:40
Speaker
Axon's tail just goes a little bit faster. Yeah, him and I, we kind of have a symbiotic relationship. Yeah, a mutual understanding of each other. Yeah, a couple more kills over here and I'm about to fucking generate thrust with my tail. Gonna be thrust into something else too, a bit. Uh-huh, uh-huh, tail mice. Stop it. He's innocent. Well, last time.
The Mystery of the Map's X Marks
00:05:10
Speaker
we uh we ended our last episode with you guys following Eugene into the beginnings of the mines in uh Debs Enclave you guys would know that this is a mine system that goes through like
00:05:32
Speaker
the whole bottom of this kingdom and has a vast subterranean maze. It's pretty much just a labyrinth of dimly lit passages, tower and caverns and the air is like heavy and dank. And you can hear the sound of pickaxes pretty much throughout the entirety of the Debs enclave.
00:05:58
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And as you guys are getting into this entrance, you can just see littered chunks of stone and rubble all over the place. And there's a big
00:06:14
Speaker
like archway into this entrance. And you guys start following Eugene into the depths. I, uh, Vexis is going to kind of look at the ceiling, the walls like all around and just kind of get an idea of like what kind of material is down here that they're trying to mine.
00:06:39
Speaker
So you guys would know that they mine a couple different things. The mines are one big labyrinth, but they're kind of subdivided by the two dukes and the one duchess that
00:06:55
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own like specific portions of the mines. And each portion mines different things. That's what they have in that that portion. One is for like gemstones that are for magic rituals and stuff like that. One is for precious metals that they use to
00:07:14
Speaker
to make armor and weapons and for forgery. And the last one is just for a lot of like, you know, pretty things, diamonds, rubies, things that they can sell for high value. You're not sure exactly where you guys are entering and which portion of that mine. But you guys are just walking in and you're right behind Eugene.
00:07:40
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a Eugene. How far of a walk is it to the to the boss man? Oh, it's not that far. We just we just keep walking down here. And then we make a couple lefts a couple rights.
Bryn's Concerns and the Map's Purpose
00:07:54
Speaker
And yeah, we'll be there in a little bit.
00:07:58
Speaker
Were, uh, was there any, uh, upset people who, uh, sent you to find us? Well, I got it in a little letter, so I don't know how they feel. The writing was really sloppy though. So maybe they should get a better writer, but you know, they didn't seem too bad. They, they did send me to save you.
00:08:21
Speaker
Um, it's, is it kind of, uh, is, what's the lighting light down here? Yeah. So it's dimly lit. There's still those same gems that you saw in the jail cell that are lighting things up. They have those all along the walls, almost like as if they would have been torches. And it pretty much, it's not super well lit. You can see around, you can see like the,
00:08:51
Speaker
the pathway that keeps going down and you can see all of these different tunnels and excavation sites that branch off of the main entrance that you just came into. But it's not so bright where it's like you have light bulbs on or anything like that.
00:09:09
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Okay, I'm gonna slide over next to Noctifer and I'm gonna tell him that I'm gonna drop to the back of the party and kind of check out this map that we... Does it have a seal on it? No. Okay. Yeah, so I'm gonna slide to the back. I'm gonna take out the map and I'm just gonna kind of take a look at it, see what it's for.
00:09:37
Speaker
So you open it up, and it doesn't seem at first that there's anything different from this map to any other map of Arim. You see all of the cities, you see all of the little towns, you see the big forests. It seems pretty normal, but when you start getting a closer look at it, you see little X marks, and you see one
00:10:05
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in Eowyn City and you see another in the Isles of Wisdom. And apart from that, those are the only two things that you can see different than anywhere else. And it seems that these X's are kind of in Eowyn City Center.
00:10:33
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And the other X is inside of the palace of the Isles of Wisdom. Interesting.
00:10:47
Speaker
While they're looking at this map, I'm going to look around me and see if I can find any, uh, gyms or stones that might be worth something. Uh, what cities you say, uh, Elwood city. Yeah. Uh, spell with letters. It is a E L a W Y
The Threat of Radiance and Reassurances
00:11:12
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N.
00:11:15
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And then city is spelled C-I-T-E-Y. Not an I-E, it's just. Yeah. And Bruce, so throw me a investigation or a non-investigation. Coming right up. Oh, that is an eight.
00:11:43
Speaker
You find some pretty rocks. Like there's a couple rocks that look pretty nice. No, I'm just gonna pick them up just because. This rock is gonna be my friend. If you know you know. If you know you know. I guess while the party's walking, I'm gonna take out my bagpipes because I am a bard and I'm gonna start playing a pretty tune. Oh, what does it sound like?
00:12:18
Speaker
We're gonna edit welcome to the jungle in right here. Yes, you guys are following Eugene and he kind of turns back to you guys and he's like, hey, so what exactly did you guys need to get for these people?
00:12:42
Speaker
Um, I, all I know is apparently you murdered a bunch of fucking people at a bar and got yourself imprisoned. And obviously the head of the thieves killed that something for you to do. That's why I came to pick you up, but that's all I know. The bodies left in that bar.
00:13:03
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ruined the integrity of a very fair and balanced game and they deserved their fate.
00:13:27
Speaker
Oh, absolutely not. But they did say by any means necessary. They said they didn't care how we got it. So I mean, got got what? The map. God damn it, Dr. Firth. He's part of the he's part of the civil observance. A map. Okay, interesting. I mean, I, I'm part of this service. You could tell me anything is basically anything.
00:13:54
Speaker
Well, maybe not anything. And he starts making a couple turns. You guys are following him. And you end up walking into a little tiny tunnel that's almost hidden. And you guys have to crawl through. Well, I guess I get on my knees. Does the big lion even do it?
00:14:23
Speaker
Yeah, do I fit? Yes, barely. Like your body is like brushed up against this little tunnel. I mean, the bug bears were the same thing. Bugman, how long is this passage? I am cat-straphobic.
Thryn's Offer: Payment and Future Jobs
00:14:40
Speaker
It's only a little bit further. Once we get past here, we'll be right at the similar surface gateway over here.
00:14:50
Speaker
I hope, for all of our sakes, you are true. I get gassy when I'm scared. Yeah, you just let out a little fart. I am not going behind the line, man. I was going to just to pull his tail, but now I'm not. Oh, yeah, pull his tail.
00:15:10
Speaker
kick you in the fucking teeth. They were getting knocked by a lion before. So as you guys, as you guys crawl through this, you guys can see after each person in front of you gets gets out, you can see the light coming through. And like I miss the pretty much heart of this of this mine concealed within this labyrinth. There's a little sanctuary. You can you can see like a little a little door.
00:15:41
Speaker
right, right where you guys came out. And, and it looks to be like a door into a stone, like into into stone. There's not like a building around it's just a door. And then there's a stone that is attached to it. And, uh, I need jeans in a walk over. He's in three times on the door.
00:16:05
Speaker
And he's just gonna hear a female voice saying, all right, just get inside. You don't have to fucking knock every time. No one knows where this place is. And if someone's just gonna show up, they're not gonna knock. Just open the fucking door. Is this voice familiar? Yes. You guys recognize this voice as the last person that you guys had talked to before going into the bar.
00:16:34
Speaker
that you end up murdering a bunch of people in here. Well, really only like one. I killed two. We said we said an orc free. OK. OK. No, no. He's not free. He is now just a prisoner in his own mind. He thinks he's free. Subscribe to the Patreon and see how we ruined an orcs life. I would like to say enlightened. Glass half cracked kind of guy.
00:17:04
Speaker
That's definitely one way of looking at it. As you guys open this door, or it's getting opened, you guys look inside and you can see like a little, almost like a little library kind of looking thing, like a home office kind of style look to it.
00:17:31
Speaker
You see this big table right in the middle. It has a bunch of books and letters all on top of it. The entire walls are completely aligned with parchment and it seems, actually, you know what? Give me an insight check or investigation. All of you. 16.
00:17:57
Speaker
13 we rolling insider investigation here either one nine Well, Bruce sees a lot of paper but accent axon You kind of noticed a lot of these parchments are Either bribes or some of his blackmail With information and on Like the dukes some of the dukes families and stuff like that
00:18:26
Speaker
you just see like there's definitely a lot of a lot of information that people would not want to get out to the public kind of all over these different papers all over the place it's a whole library filled with blackmail every secret extortion material yeah exactly this is a very dishonest place dishonest you say huh i like dishonest thieves guild
00:18:58
Speaker
I don't, I don't know what she thought would happen. I'm not passing judgment.
Legend of the Broken Staff and Map's Secrets
00:19:04
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Clearly merely an observation. Good. Cause, uh, I don't get, um, so you guys walk in and you see a short dwarf with black hair, black beady eyes looking over you guys kind of quickly and seems very anxious.
00:19:30
Speaker
I'm going to look over at my lion friend real quick and go, that is one ugly motherfucker. I agree. We would hunt that back in my homeland. Uh, uh, Vex and Noctifer, you would know her as Bryn and she is the person that you guys had heard, uh, before you came inside. Well, long time no see. Yeah. I don't, I don't, I didn't want to ever see you again. I thought,
00:20:00
Speaker
You were gonna be fucking stuck in that jail cell forever. I don't know why you guys thought it'd be a good idea to murder everyone. Not fucking smart, is it? Well, if we had it, maybe we wouldn't have gotten the map, so... I was hungry.
00:20:17
Speaker
you said you didn't care how it happened you're not wrong but i i thought you know common sense don't go to jail but what you said you got the map right yeah i got the map but i have uh a few questions before i give you this map okay what is this map for wouldn't you like to fucking know i mean i'm the one that has the map
00:20:45
Speaker
I'm going to look back at my lion friend and be like, not only is she ugly, she's kind of a bitch. I can fucking hit you. No, you can't. She's going to look at the both of you with just like a death glare. And then she'll look back at, at Noctifer and Vexus and say, look, I,
00:21:12
Speaker
I don't have all of the information, but the boss is coming in soon. We can have a little sit down. I'm sure we were not expecting you to go to jail, but you were able to get out and you got that. Maybe we might have another job for you. Uh, Texas, your ear for a moment. Yeah. Uh, give me one minute, Bryn.
00:21:41
Speaker
What's up, Lion Man? How complicated of a map is this? I'll be honest with you, it does not seem very complicated at all. It's just, it's a regular map. It's a regular map, but it has two X's. I'm not sure what the X's mean, but they are marked in two specific places. That's all I have.
00:22:10
Speaker
If I give you some cover, how difficult would it be for you to make your own copy? Oh, I think that could be pretty easy. It'd be a rough sketch, but I'd have to find a pencil and paper. I'm going to grab my tail and bite it hard enough to draw a significant amount of blood so that while he's standing behind me, he can paint with my tail.
00:22:43
Speaker
Yeah. And then loud and then loud enough for her to hear. I'll say. I'll talk to the bitch. I don't even. You know what? Look. Let me let me ask you something. Fucking big lion guy over here. I don't know you. I don't know this fucking snake person. I don't know why people are bringing fucking animals down here.
00:23:13
Speaker
I prefer a reptile person. Well, look, you can be called over the fuck you want, all right? What I'm saying is, I don't know either of you. I never was told about either of you.
00:23:58
Speaker
I do not know what a radiance is. However, I do not come of this land. I am here
00:24:10
Speaker
because the snake man was entertaining. Reptile man. Actually, you know what? You get the pass. I get the hood pass. Yes. So everyone who has been in the north, maybe Axon doesn't know. I mean, he hasn't been here for a whole lot of time. The Radiance are a group.
00:24:40
Speaker
anyone who's been in the North knows of, they are pretty much, they're known by everyone in the world, like high leaders of everyone in this world know who they are. The commoners in the South and East and West may not know, but everyone in the North knows who they are.
Negotiating Terms for Artifact Retrieval
00:25:05
Speaker
And this is a group of people that are pretty much
00:25:11
Speaker
the, I guess, policing force of Bahamut. He uses these people to go and kind of do his bidding. If he sees, like, a bunch of people that are not following his justice, these are the ones that will take care of it. So what she asks you
00:25:36
Speaker
Like she says she doesn't know who you are and you might be one of them. She is very concerned that maybe you guys are there to kill her. If we were here to kill you, trust me, a snake would be wrapped around your neck right now. What kind of snake?
00:25:59
Speaker
Famwise makes his appearance. Yes. More like this. All right, well, you know, let's not be super aggressive with the nice lady who helped us. Yeah. You guys could be stuck up there in a fucking cell. To be honest, I didn't know you were coming down here. I really wouldn't have given a shit. But like the other two, I needed the map.
00:26:29
Speaker
being here now, so I saved you. Has Vexus finished making his copy of the map? I would say, yeah, probably. She's definitely been eyeing on him because she has no idea what the fuck he's doing, like facing the opposite way. But she's not too concerned with it right now. All right, I turn around.
00:26:53
Speaker
And I have the, uh, the original map in my hand and I kind of show her, I'm like, yeah, so this is, this is what you need, huh? Yeah. Get it. You still never answer my question. Look, I don't know exactly. I do know that shows something extremely fucking important. All I see is two X's.
00:27:24
Speaker
OK, well, I haven't even seen the map, so I don't know what it even looks like. Where the X is. Maybe these are questions that our boss could answer. Yeah, well, yeah, maybe I'll hold on to this map until we have this little sit down with the boss man. Also, while.
00:27:44
Speaker
While they're preoccupied having that conversation, I would like to try and sneak one of the stack of papers of extortion into my waistband underneath my tunic. Roll me a stealth check. Is Eugene still here? Yeah, he he's like still kind of by the door entrance and he is not really.
00:28:06
Speaker
said anything because he is definitely not higher in the order. He kind of just does the things that they used to hold to do. I rolled a 19. Yeah, you take a couple. Yeah, a little stack of extortion papers. I'm going to think to myself, I don't know why. But this will be useful later.
00:28:33
Speaker
He says that out loud. I walk over to bring and I I'm fully retaining the maps control but I show her what's on the map like side by side to her and we're both looking at it together. I'm like does what does this mean to you? So she looks at it and she goes I mean, it looks like
00:28:56
Speaker
it looks like two X's. That's what I said. And she's, she starts looking over the map a little bit more. She does kind of pause for a moment and she's actually looking over and she's like, well, the X's are in kind of really well known places. And it seems
00:29:24
Speaker
It seems like it's mostly like they were both from a royal family and something to do with this grand hall that's in Antoine City. Interesting. Who sent, who gave you the orders to get this map? The boss. The boss. So the boss is the one that really wants this map.
00:29:49
Speaker
Well, yeah, I I don't know what the map's for. Okay, so you don't give a fuck. You just got your orders gave their orders to us and here we are. I mean, yeah, kinda. All right. Well, where's the fucking boss? So, Thren, he should be calling any moment now. And I mean, Thren, that's cute.
00:30:13
Speaker
Well, I mean, we didn't intend for our names to be the same fucking name almost. Okay. Anyways. Yeah. You should tell him that we have, uh, we have his map. As you guys started talking to him, they're talking about him. Do you see a dwarf who stands a lot taller than a normal dwarf would?
00:30:35
Speaker
He's pretty broad. He's got a weathered face, braided beard, and has a bunch of silver streaks going through the beard and through his hair. And his heart and gaze on you guys, you can see almost like a calculating mind. Like you can see just looking at this guy, he is constantly running the numbers on who he's talking to, what he's, what they're doing. And just a very aware, conscious person.
00:31:05
Speaker
I started doing the same thing back to him. So as you, uh, as you look over and I guess you start me mugging him, uh, he looks over and he, he says, well, hello. I, uh, I knew you guys would, would get the map. I appreciate it.
00:31:30
Speaker
He takes out a bag of gold. He says, you're welcome. Thank you for your service. Give me my map. Why do you want the map? I mean, I didn't pay you to ask questions.
Creating Mystical Lockbox Spaces in the Bank
00:31:45
Speaker
But if you really want to know, I could hire you for a couple more jobs. I got nothing going on. How about you, Vex?
00:32:00
Speaker
That's intriguing. Can you pay us in livestock? God damn it, lion. Don't worry about him. Lion. So he has, he has like a calculated mind, right? And that just kind of he was like, what the fuck is just like, he's sort of looking around everyone else to see if there is justice confused as him. But he looks over you and says,
00:32:26
Speaker
We can make arrangements. We can surely do this. Excellent. I look over at Bruce and I'm like, what do you think? If there's money involved, I'm in. All right. Sounds like we might have a little arrangement. This sounds quite a good idea for me.
00:32:55
Speaker
I can't tell you everything because, as you all know, the Silver Serpents are very particular about who gets what information. What I do know is that this map shows the locations of some extremely rare artifacts that people have not seen
00:33:23
Speaker
in what seems to be, well, forever. Then how do you know about it? Apparently. Are one of them the Titanstone Knuckles? No. What are these artifacts? Well, we don't know the exact, the exact location or what they look like.
00:33:52
Speaker
we only know from stories passed down. And he explains a story that most people, even children, like tell their children about the creation of the world, that they were four gods. And after a lot of infighting, they finally decided we should
00:34:19
Speaker
break it into four quadrants we can have our own laws have our own followers and they they were okay with that but they also didn't really want to rule all these these civilians so they needed lesser gods and one thing that they used to create a lot of these lesser gods
00:34:47
Speaker
at least in the story seems to be some type of staff. And in the children's book, this staff ends up getting broken apart and scattered so that no one can, no one can, you know, gain control or create gods again. So then he looks over at you and says, apparently this is real, but
00:35:17
Speaker
We, uh, we haven't seen it. We just had some information passed down to us and we were told that this map would at least show some locations that might hold parts of this item. Interesting. Is this an open contract or are we the only party going after it? This, as far as I know,
00:35:46
Speaker
It's just you, but I cannot be sure. If we have heard of this, I'm sure that other people have heard of this. But other Stillward Serpents were the only ones that you have told this information to. You are the only people that I have told. I cannot speak for the other guild members in the other sections. I can only speak for the North.
00:36:12
Speaker
Okay, let's get down to contract negotiations. What are you offering? I will give you three gold a day each. What about the livestock? And one chicken?
00:36:32
Speaker
a month. This seems fair, right? Correct. Two chickens. I don't know what happened. What happens if we're just, you know, shit hot and we get it back to you in, you know, a couple of days. That's not really worth our, worth our time. How about this? We will set you up with a bank account. What bank? Bell's Wargo.
00:37:01
Speaker
Maybe I'll change the name. The the umbral shadows. Everyone knows it's the bank. Okay, um, let's do 10 gold pieces a day. We can make that work. I like this bank account situation. Actually, if 10 is good, why don't we bump it up to 15 and one and three fifths chickens. Look,
00:37:31
Speaker
Let's do 12, 12 gold a day. That's fair. And you know what? I know someone will do four chickens a week. I am in. We're, we're, we're like dumb broke right now. Uh, after our little escapade getting your map, we're going to need a little bit of a starting bonus to get equipment and gear to go after this thing. That's understandable.
00:38:02
Speaker
Let's take you to the bank in a little bit and we'll try to set you up with a bank account with a little stipend that will get you going. I like where this is heading. One last thing. It looks like you have a pretty large mining operation going on down here. Yeah. I mean, it's not mine, but yes, it is.
00:38:32
Speaker
This is where people mine that is correct. Does it seem like they're using some of these materials to forge weapons or armor or anything of that sorts? Yes, of course. I mean, that's where we most of Aaron gets the precious metals.
00:38:51
Speaker
Yeah. Okay. Well, we also want custom forged weapons, if you want us to do your bidding for this. Maybe.
00:39:11
Speaker
How about this? Dixon's immediately like Titan Forge Knuckles. Titanstone Knuckles, Titanstone Knuckles, Titanstone Knuckles. We will keep the same arrangement that I have discussed. If you can get the first part of the artifact, we will discuss Titanstone Knuckles. Maybe.
00:39:41
Speaker
We will discuss weaponry after this. And to be honest, you will probably need it to get the rest of the artifacts. It sounds like you know more than you're telling us. Well, I'm just more educated than you. What other groups are going to be going after this?
00:40:05
Speaker
Well, at least for my calculations, that it would make sense that if the radiance and the radiant order hears of this, they would probably be looking for it. Um, but pretty much any of the other gods, if they hear that these pieces are being found, they're going to want it for themselves. So as of right now, it seems right now we are the only ones looking
00:40:35
Speaker
But that can change. But we found this map off of a guard. Yes. This man stumbled across it on accident. He won it in a gambling bet. And gambling, you say? Yes, he's was a prolific kind of what was I guess until you fucking murdered him.
00:41:03
Speaker
Uh, he was a big gambler as you, uh, as you do, and he was able to win it from some random hooded figure. Oh, hooded figure, you say? Yes. We, we don't know who they were. They kind of just came into a bar, started playing some games, lost a lot of money. It was a good night. Good night for, uh, for the bar. But he left this nap and.
00:41:33
Speaker
You guys ended up being able to acquire it for us. Okay. All right. Let's, uh, let's head over to the bank then. All right. So you guys start following him. He leads you down a couple of different pathways and you guys start walking back out into like the, the mining area. And you guys start going through this little labyrinth following him.
00:42:03
Speaker
He brings you a couple of lefts, a couple of rights, go up and down, a whole lot of different places. You finally come out and he brings you to this giant building that's right on the edge of a town. He brings you through these little passageways to the lower quarry. This is where the Granite Heart Kingdoms
00:42:33
Speaker
like most bottom town portion is. This is also the same place that you guys got arrested. But off to the corner, like all the way towards where the mines are, like the closest to the mines, is where you end up seeing this bank. There's a giant black archway around this door and Spire's kind of sticking out of it.
00:43:02
Speaker
And again, it's a door that goes directly into the rock behind it. And he looks over at you guys and says, make sure you do not offend anyone in this building. These people know no bounds and will make sure that if you steal from them,
00:43:31
Speaker
or do anything to displease them, not only will you not be getting a bank account, but you may not leave here with your life. I will remain silent. That's, that's good. Yeah, good line. Good line. Good line. He pets your head. And as you guys walk in, you guys see. So if you look at like Harry Potter, like Gringotts,
00:44:00
Speaker
You walk in, there's just like... Greedy, nasty little goblins? Yeah, like all over on the side. You see something similar? But they're not goblins. They're like spirits. And they're sitting there writing down a bunch of different things, taking inventories, and not really paying attention to you as you guys are walking in there. I want to use my divine sense.
00:44:32
Speaker
All right. He read off what divine sense does as an action. You can detect good and evil until the end of your next turn. You can sense anything affected by the hollow spell or know the location of any celestial fiend or undead within 60 feet. That is not behind total cover. Okay. Well, you, this is what's actually really interesting is you don't see, you don't have any good or evil at all.
00:45:03
Speaker
this is almost devolved of good evil it's just super neutral to the point where it's weird and as you look around i mean there's obviously a lot of undead spirits but they have like a weird aura coming off of them they don't seem very cognizant they're more of uh it almost seems like they're conjured but they're not
00:45:33
Speaker
they don't have any control of what they do. They're just almost tasked out like a robot almost.
Envisioning Personal Lockbox Rooms
00:45:39
Speaker
As you guys look into this bank, you see a giant motto written on the back wall. And it says, transcend the mundane, embrace the shadows. As you guys are walking in, you see a almost stone looking woman wearing
00:46:02
Speaker
a hood and stone armor. She has giant spikes coming out of her fingers, and it looks almost like she's a statue, but she is walking like a human, like she's alive. And she walks over to Thryn, and she says, why are you here today?
00:46:31
Speaker
trying to pull out Makeup with Troll today. And Thren just points to all of you and says, well, we need to make a new account. She smiles, looks at all of you.
00:46:49
Speaker
My name is Morgana, and if you follow me, we can create an account just for you. So she, as you guys follow her, you guys walk into like a back room, and you start seeing a really, really long hallway, and at the end of it, there's a box.
00:47:13
Speaker
a blue box with a lot of gold engravings all over it. Each of you take your steps one at a time and place your hand on the boxed head. An account will be made for you. Okay, I'm gonna go and put my hand in the box.
00:47:40
Speaker
All right. So you are the first one to walk over and you place your hand on the box and then you disappear. Nice. Yo, what, where the fuck did Noctifer go? He went to his, uh, his lock box. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:48:07
Speaker
Would you all like to create an account? I am interested. I would like to follow. All right. You follow up and you place your hand on the box and you disappear. All right. Me next, please. And the same thing happens. I look at Thren. Is this normal?
00:48:29
Speaker
Yeah, of course. This is, you're making an account. Once you have the accounts, you have your own lock box. I just walk up and watch the box. Okay. So after each of you have touched it, you feel like a huge shock wave in your body. And as soon as you do, you are each separately inside of a blank room.
00:48:54
Speaker
Let's say Noctifer. What's the first thing that comes to your mind while you're in this blank room? Where the fuck am I? Do you think that? And you see a text bubble almost pop up over your head, this little script. And it says, where the fuck am I? And you can kind of like hear that as it's writing it. And as you start thinking, furniture starts popping up and you have
00:49:25
Speaker
a huge wall that pops up that has little spots where you can put armor and weaponry, a little place where you can put gold, and as you're imagining it, the thought of what you want it to look like, it starts to look like that. Please subscribe, your bank account. Oh yeah, Hogwarts Legacy, here we go.
00:49:53
Speaker
Yeah, I'm just going to something simple that would probably resemble a little bit of a temple. Marble flooring, pillars, scaffolding, and art that's drawn in the windows, like they're in churches, right? And yeah, this is my baking count. I'm aware that this is like, that's what I'm doing here. Yeah, as you start
00:50:24
Speaker
Imagining this and it starts to change you can realize that you are changing it in real time. So I'll create like a like a big Dark steel vault door And in the middle of the the archway and I'll have a like Black red flame for the the lantern and yeah, that'll be do I get a teller. It's my teller in there Don't get a personal teller
00:50:54
Speaker
No, but you do have this little parchment with a little feather on top of it. And it kind of just, it just writes down a list pretty much of everything that you're imagining and it starts becoming real. And every time it starts to write it, you can almost hear it in your head. So you might be thinking it, but you hear like an external, you know,
00:51:23
Speaker
Oh, false. Oh, piece of furniture. As it writes it down. Can I ask the thing what it is? What it is. No, are you, are you some kind of actual being? Actual being. Okay. Well, I'm gonna ignore you then. And we're gonna cut to the
00:51:53
Speaker
Who was the second person? Me. Okay. We're going to cut to Axon. Axon. And Axon, you come in, you see a blank room and you see, yeah, you see a blank room and then what is it that you started thinking of
Signing Contracts and Preparing for the Quest
00:52:09
Speaker
first? What's the first thing that comes to mind?
00:52:12
Speaker
So the first thing that's going to start sprouting is very, uh, most over Goliath trees resembling like a really deeply, uh, deeply wooded forest, um, with on all of the trees, there's the.
00:52:27
Speaker
the Golden Fang family symbol written in golden blood on all of the trees. And there's gonna be, and as I realize that I'm making my imagination into reality in front of me, it's gonna slowly, like, behind me a section of the room is going to start looking like Rocky's training freezer, and there's just gonna be massive hanging chunks of meat everywhere.
00:52:57
Speaker
Because I haven't eaten in a couple days and I'm very hungry. And then there will be figures to place armor on. They'll be like perfectly placed branches and stuff on these trees where you can do it and the trees become
00:53:16
Speaker
placeholders for for armor and stuff like that and there'll be a Massive stone that's a that's been carved in that can basically just be a pool for like gold and other valuables put placed in there and I'm also gonna take this opportunity to I Am at like two perfect little twigs stick off of one of the trees and I take the extortion papers out of my waistband And I place them in there and then I'm gonna start gnawing on some of the meat
00:53:46
Speaker
Alright, so you put the notes there. And you hear a little like a ding, like a transaction that just happened. And now we're gonna cut to Bruce. Wait, wait, wait. Can I imagine Titanstone Knuckles? No. This is mostly you're you're able to imagine the aesthetics. Yeah, there's almost like a
00:54:15
Speaker
like a spectral like way for them to create create like a how do I explain it? Yeah, there's like a fluid that it can like almost change into certain things but like it won't actually be a like a sword you can pull out and like bring it with you because you didn't bring a sword in. Yeah, I had to try. Yeah. That's gonna bring us to Bruce. So the first thing I think of when I get there is just gambling money.
00:54:45
Speaker
uh... so picture like the nicest casino in the world big red carpets everywhere pillars lots of tables tables for different games spread out all every table's a different game uh... and then next to all those tables is a bed on the side uh... like the comfiest looking bed you can think of like soft cotton and silk stuff real nice uh...
00:55:15
Speaker
all in red everything's red it's like a super nice and next to my bed is another little tiny bed of just wood chips and wood for my little snake and every table has you know chips on it and there's
00:55:30
Speaker
Yeah, I guess. Can people be there? Yes. I mean, it's almost essentially like you have your own room instead of having a little lockbox that you'd go to in a bank, you have like a room that you teleport to. And so like, if you want to bring someone in, you can. Yeah.
00:55:49
Speaker
Okay. So there's just tables. I guess they're vacant. Uh, and then, uh, on the other side, not where my bed is on the other side is like a fully stocked bar of every, every single drink in the realm that you can think of. And just a full glass of ice and a snake tequila sitting there waiting for me to grab. Oh my God. Does that mean you have like a family member inside of a tequila bottle?
00:56:19
Speaker
All right. And Vexus, what is it that you see when you first enter this room? So I enter the room and I start imagining a place that I could store all of my belongings, my gear. So it's kind of like a long hallway. The room kind of opens up and it has these large black marble pillars that go
00:56:46
Speaker
down the hallway and then in the middle of the room there's a elevated platform with a just a really cool looking like almost like a king's chair type of thing and it's all black outlined in gold
00:57:07
Speaker
And then there's a table in the front of the of the chair on the walls. Every single panel is is glass all the way down with black marble gold trim around every single one. And you can see on the side of it, inside the glass is where
00:57:29
Speaker
I can store any type of armor, weapons, any material things. And then on the other side, there's a little place that I can do some meditation, as well as to practice
00:57:50
Speaker
spell casting a little area for honing shadows. The lights are these gold like a big chandelier in the top and it's lit with like a black shadow flame but the shadow flame follows me as I walk through the building and it lights up different lights that I'm standing near.
00:58:14
Speaker
And it's all like most of it is all black with like a smoky shadow and then gold trim all on the outside And then at the very very end of the hall for this from the the chair and the table There's just a giant hand-carven etched gold marble chest And that's where my my gold would go Nice nice
00:58:40
Speaker
After all of your rooms start to form the way that you want, you can hear in your head a voice. And she goes, I hope that all of your rooms satisfy your needs. If you'd like to leave anything here, you may. And you're welcome to use any of our other branches. Please take take your time and
00:59:10
Speaker
When you are ready, we will take a piece of your soul for payment. I'm sorry, what? What the, what the fuck? Excuse me? And then, and then she laughs. Just kidding. No, we will, we will sign some contracts. We are not psychopaths here.
00:59:36
Speaker
Okay, very mysterious, normal looking lady who I don't think is weird at all. I'm ready for my contract signing. What is a contract? Well, it is an agreement that you may use this facility and all of the other branches. And in turn, we take 1% of gold per month.
01:00:07
Speaker
I agree to these conditions. Very well, very well. And once you guys are ready, you guys can exit your lockbox. You see that original box that you had touched in each of your rooms, there's a box there. And when you go to touch it, it transports you back to that same hallway.
01:00:28
Speaker
I touch my box. Yeah, do you? I make a few more edits to my room. I decide that I don't want the I change the chest into a vault door and then inside of the vault door is where I will secure my money and then I go over and touch my box. I flick the box. Anyone else flicking their box? I'm going to play DJ on the box.
01:01:00
Speaker
All right, well after you guys all touch your boxes, you guys go back to this hallway. And standing in front of you is Morgana and Thryn. And she takes you over back into the original room that you came into. And she looks at one of the spirits. She does a head nod.
01:01:26
Speaker
and the spirit comes over and presents a contract for each of you. I read the contract. Hearing by states that you can... No, I didn't write all this down. You look at the contract and as you're reading it, you can definitely determine that it's just a standard, hey, we are a bank.
01:01:49
Speaker
almost like a Chase bank, you know, and you can go to that bank and you can deposit your stuff but they're going to take 1% of gold at the end of the month or at the end of the month so that way they can sustain their business. I'm going to take said contract. I'm going to pretend to read it. I'm going to give a head nod like I agree and then I'm going to sign.
01:02:15
Speaker
And one thing at least Vexus notices, that Bruce doesn't, is inside the contract it specifically states that you can go to any of the other branches. And it kind of goes on to describe the branches. In most of these major cities, there's a bank that's got the same stone front face. And when you go inside, this bank is the same bank.
01:02:46
Speaker
everywhere. So every time you open the door, you are in this bank. Anything in the contract that says we can leave the bank from any of its entrances? No, so it does it does say specifically that you cannot like the same way you came in is the same way that you come out the same thing as like, when you guys touched your box, you went back to where you touched your box.
01:03:12
Speaker
Oh, yeah. Touch my box all over. I signed the contract. Yeah, I'll sign it too. All right. Thank you for signing your contracts. I hope you enjoyed your stay. Was there a deposit made in our bank accounts? You look over at a thread when you say that? Yeah. Yes, I will make the deposit now.
01:03:44
Speaker
And he, uh, he looks at her and says, give them 25 gold each for now. Make it 50 make it, make it 20, 25 gold, like real equipment. We're, we're going to get, we're going to get 12 gold a day. That goes, that, that, that goes really fast.
01:04:11
Speaker
How much did he pay us for retrieving the, uh, the note or the map? Uh, open up the bag. Uh, there's like a hundred gold in there. Okay. I give everyone 25 a piece and I say, make your own fucking deposit. No, no, no. I want his 25 on top. And then, so he's, he, uh,
01:04:39
Speaker
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So through, yeah, yeah, yeah. Thrun's putting 25 in. We're putting 25 in each. All right. That, we will, yes, I will give you 25 on top of the hundred that I already gave you. That's, that's fine. Yes. You seem like you can afford it. Yeah. Don't, don't hold out on us. We know you got some gold. I just gave you everything that I have. You fucking liar. Oh, absolutely. I'm lying.
01:05:07
Speaker
Yeah. You're, you're the, you're the head of a thieves' guild and you, that's all you got. Hey, roll a, roll a deception check for me. Um, actually roll a perception check for me. Oh, that's too easy. Perception or inside. Yeah. Oh, that's a 21 baby. 17. 12. 19.
01:05:35
Speaker
You guys all notice, except for Axon, that when he says that he gave you all his gold and you guys are joking with him, he actually does have kind of like a twinge when he says that. And you guys can kind of gather.
01:05:52
Speaker
especially when you're looking at the little thieves guild area, it's not like there's a whole lot of money in this location. You guys know that this area is very justice influenced and it's really hard for them to recruit or to
01:06:14
Speaker
to steal or to really make a lot of money which is why they have a lot of these bribes because in a blackmail it's to keep them safe and to gather information but they are not very wealthy. I got an idea for you um since you do actually have a lot of ways of extortion and blackmail how possible is it
01:06:40
Speaker
you make our little adventure from last night and, you know, the escape from the dungeon or the prison, uh, go away. Cause I'm not, I don't think anyone, any one of us is trying to be captured by the law while we're trying to help you. Unfortunately, I don't want to hear that. You murdered a decent amount of people in front of a lot of people. Well, maybe, maybe we didn't murder them. Maybe we're chasing after the people that murdered them. Well,
01:07:10
Speaker
You also just broke out of the jail cell. Because we're chasing after the guys that murdered them. And murdered so much people there too. That was my twin Gaxon of the Nolden Fang. I will try. But it I don't think I will be able to completely give you immunity for the murder of all these people. I think the king is not
01:07:37
Speaker
Not going to be happy about this. So we should probably get out of town pretty quickly then. I would suggest this. Is the map all we have to go for this quest? Yes, the map. He pulls out the map. He pulls out a gem. And it looks kind of like a red ruby, but it's glowing. But kind of a weird black glow. It's a red gem with like almost black coming out of it.
01:08:07
Speaker
And he puts it behind the map and it starts to illuminate words right above where the city is. And it has like a little, a little poem, which you guys will find on the next episode.
01:08:35
Speaker
Thank you for joining us on this today's thrilling adventure with the Legion of Dice. Our cast includes Dean Balter as our DM, Zach Balter as Bruce, Chase Dixon as Axan, Ken Drollings as Vexos, and myself, Matthew Jackson, as Noctua. We extend our gratitude to our incredible Patreon subscribers whose support makes this podcast possible. A special shout out to Erin Burke, Austin, Anthony Rego, Erika, and all our other amazing supporters.
01:09:03
Speaker
If you enjoy our content and want to help us continue creating more epic tales, consider becoming a Patreon subscriber at patreon.com at Tackle Crits. You'll gain access to exclusive perks and bonus content to include early release videos, follow us on Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, and YouTube. Join our Discord at TackleCrit, stay tuned for more thrilling adventures, and until next time, may you, our amazing subscribers, go on and do your own amazing adventures.
01:09:35
Speaker
so
01:10:07
Speaker
you