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C1 Ep 8 "Oh Gnome"
30 Plays9 months ago
Our players try to survive a giant Gnome
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Transcript
Opening and Recap
00:00:01
Speaker
Content warning can be found in the description.
00:00:11
Speaker
A viewer discretion is advised.
00:00:16
Speaker
Hello last time on Legion of Dice. We are our players encountered a group of gnomes that had taken Thanwise hostage we decided to Attack these gnomes since they're being uncooperative to say the least Those gnomes decided to then join up together and become one giant fuck you know, so We'll see we'll see how this goes right now
00:00:51
Speaker
Hello, everyone.
Character Introductions
00:00:52
Speaker
My name is Zach Balter. I play Bruce the Bard. He is a bard. And a fun fact about Bruce, ah just like a snake in real life, Bruce only eats about one ah once every week, ah sometimes once every other week, depending on what it is. ah He can also eat up to about two times his body weight. And ah when he eats, ah he has a big lump in his belly, just like every other snake. So he eats and he actually gets like a food baby. Yeah, pretty much. Hey everybody, I'm Chase Dixon. I play Axon of the Golden Fang. And so my fun fact for this week is a little bit about the Leonin race and something interesting that happened in the pride. So normal lions, fun fact, they are ah born with ah spots or patches on their fur. It's not like almost like ah a cheetah or a jaguar.
00:01:47
Speaker
It's not just straight golden, like you see from a normal line, and that goes away over time. Well, Leonin are the same way. They're born with patches, right? And so there's decade long gaps in between ah generations of Leonin being born. So because of this, these 20, 30 year spans in between births, Accent's father actually forgot that that's a thing. So when Axon was born, he immediately accused his wife of cheating. With a neighboring like cheetah version of Leonin's. He said, that's not my fucking baby. What the fuck is going on here, woman? And it took every single person in the Golden Fang pride to remind him of this. Bring up historical documents. All the all the midwives are like, look, nope, this is totally a thing.
00:02:40
Speaker
And because Accent's dad was about to burn the whole place to the fucking ground. Do they do a ah a lion version of ah Maury? You are the father. I imagine so. um And now I'm really trying to come up with the right prompt for AI Image Generator to make Maury look like a lion. And we'll add that to the Patreon to this episode or something. I don't know.
00:03:12
Speaker
Hey everyone, I'm Kent Rawlings. I play ah Vexos Nightshade. It's a Rogue Warlock multi-class. So today Vexos' fun fact is that ah over his many years as a youngling just running through the streets and trying to figure out how he was going to survive. He actually acquired the taste of rats. um He enjoys sometimes for a meal, just going out and pick him picking a rat from out back. And and then after, he kind of keeps this a secret. He doesn't really let people know that. um But sometimes he'll go out and
00:03:57
Speaker
be like, Oh, yeah, let's go to dinner. You know, he's hungry. Hey, you hungry? And he'll know I already ate. And he actually, ah he actually just went out back and scoured is his dinner. So what you're saying is Ricky should be very afraid. Yeah, actually, so it's funny because so we have this pet rat in our in our in our party right now and it kind of brings a little bit of flashbacks and he's given a couple of like little side eyes to Ricky. Not not that like he's interested in trying to eat Ricky, but he just knows that like he's eaten Ricky's before.
00:04:34
Speaker
Matthew Jacobson, I play Noct for Tambourine. My fun fact is that because Noctfrew spent so long in a coal culture where He was being told like what the right answer was and he just took it to face value for all his long life. all Now that he is outside of that group, he wants he likes learning things by himself so he doesn't take a whole lot of any kind of information at face value usually. So he likes studying books and other tomes and like listening to other people talk about their different cultures.
00:05:14
Speaker
So he's like, likes to take the history of other places. Yeah, he's very interested in Axon and Bruce, actually. He's he's very curious about what the fuck is going on with them. We're mysterious people. Um, I'm your DM today and I play a bunch of gnomes. And fun fact is when I was trying to come up with how I'm going to voice these gnomes, uh, I was at work and I didn't think anyone else was in the room when I was coming up with this voice.
Gnome Battle Begins
00:05:47
Speaker
And apparently my boss and two of my coworkers were in the room and, uh,
00:05:54
Speaker
They didn't know I was in a D and&D podcast. They know now, um they were pretty fucking confused. They probably just thought you were like weird as shit. like like What the fuck is going on with this guy? We need to get this guy drug tested.
00:06:11
Speaker
All right. Well, last last episode, you guys started to fight these these gnomes and they morphed into one giant gnome. And you can see the video a feed of us on YouTube. The gnome, you know, essence of what I'm thinking is kind of right behind me. Kind of.
00:06:38
Speaker
And then a evil gnome lizard is chanting and, you know, doing some evil gnome shit. behind behind a cracked wall and Fabwise just ate one of the last compatrons that hadn't been morphed ah and is now right in front of this evil gnome wizard. and
00:07:10
Speaker
you guys are still an initiative and the person who is going up next is Bruce. All right, cool. So Bruce is going to look at this big fucking ginormous gnome of gnomes and ah he's going to cast cloud of daggers. Oh, that's a good one. Nice. Yeah. For those of you that don't know a cloud of daggers, you fill the air with spinning daggers and a cube five feet on each side centered on a point you choose within range. Creature takes four D four slashing damage when it enters the spell area for the first time on a turn or starts its turn there. ah Yeah, well, I don't have to go there. So cool. I'm going to cast that centered around the big gnome.
00:07:57
Speaker
Twelve. All right. So you, uh, you cast cloud of daggers and a bunch of daggers start raining down on all these little gnomes and it now looks directly at, uh, you Bruce. And since you're on top of an octifer, it looks at you and an octifer and the statue or sure the yeah last to say, though, after the last attack, he hit. the ah the statue and now he's realizing he hit the wrong target. ah And he is not looking very happy. And that's going to bring us to Axon. Okay, so I'm going to use all of our how far away is the wizard gnome?
00:08:46
Speaker
he is is behind the wall. So he's about like, two to three, two and a half feet away from you. But he is inside of a wall that's kind of correct. Am I able to get inside this wall now? If you break the wall, ah then I'm going to use an attack action and muster all of my fucking strength to to punch a hole through this wall big enough to let me pass through. Do I need to roll to hit a wall? ah Roll for damage. Fucking five.
00:09:22
Speaker
All right, you hit this wall, and it cracks a little bit further. And at this point, it's kind of like fragmented. So there's a big hole. You can now clearly see this gnome and fam wise right next to him. And but I still can't read you can't get completely in Yeah, okay, then I'm gonna use flurry of blows for two more hits. All right. Does a seven break that through that wall that will break the rest of the wall. cool. And then I'm going to use my last attack of flurry of blows to try to put my fist through the motherfucker. All right. Give me an attack roll to see if you hit this this motherfucker. 19 I'm assuming hits that does hit Yes, correct. And then so that's going to be four damage and then he needs to make a
00:10:18
Speaker
A DC 12 deck save. A DC 12 deck save. He rolled a 19. God fucking damn it. All right, cool. All right. And then, uh, and then I'm going to shout, shrink, great shrink, great shrink, shrink, shrink.
00:10:39
Speaker
And that's gonna bring us to this giant gnome with this ah with his gnome sword. And he is going to first attack Noctifer and Bruce as he's trying to do one swipe ah downwards with this gnome sword. And does a nine hit? Nope. Definitely not, though. All right, so he misses both of you. ah and then takes the rest of his swing to try to plunge it into axon ah dear and Gets a five so he completely whiffs Bruce and Noctifer then goes to hit axon and slams the sword into the other part of the wall and just like misses completely and he gives out a big shout of rage but and
00:11:37
Speaker
That's gonna bring us to Noctifer. I am going to hit the gnome. All right, big gnome. And does, okay, that's a 20, not natural, it's just a 20. Yep, that hits. Oh, shit, okay, so that is 11 slashing.
00:12:05
Speaker
And then that is a seven necrotic. Okay, and then correct me if I'm wrong, did you hex? I hexed the wizard, i didn't I didn't attack the wizard. All right, so you... Oh, and um' oh shit, I'm gonna use my bonus action to use s searing smite. Oh, okay. Oops. um Damn.
00:12:33
Speaker
Yeah, okay, so that's kind of that's gonna break my my hex concentration actually. All right. Five fire damage, and now he's gonna take an extra 1d6 fire damage at each of the targets turn. Okay, on his turn, right? On his turn. Okay, so you you smite this dude, he starts fucking now kind of like screaming and out in pain and fires kind of shooting all around him. And um by the way, your golem gnome can make a constitution saving throw to put out the fire. Yeah, at the end of the turn. Yeah.
00:13:15
Speaker
Okay, screaming out in pain, and he is going to ah kind of brace himself while he's got flames all around him getting ready to ah to swing his next attack. But that's going to bring us to the wizard gnome first. And the wizard gnome is going over to look at fam wise and make a screeching noise and shoot a lightning bolt at fam wise. Oh, doing no seven damage. So he's gonna shoot them wise with his electricity and you're gonna see fam wise start to like
00:14:03
Speaker
shake a little bit, some smoke kind of coming off of him. And he's gonna look over at Bruce and be like, third help. I'm coming for you, buddy. Don't worry. and That's gonna bring us to Vexos. All right. Um, so for for me, I'm going to pop the potion of healing. um as my bonus action, um which will give me 10. We're just doing the full amount, correct? All right, so that'll give me 10 HP. All right. And then for my action.
00:14:45
Speaker
I mean, we'll just keep rolling with what's what's working, you know, ah I'm going to cast Nightshade Cut, but I'm going to do it at the wizard.
00:14:57
Speaker
um so So Oh baby 24 yeah And that will do nine damage nine damage, okay All right, he's gonna take a hit of this sharp smoke like Was it dagger ish, right? It's like a blade like a crescent moon shaped blade. It's like a boomerang. Yeah, almost. And he's gonna take it. It's gonna fucking smash into him. ah And he's going to look back at you and take a reaction and shoot another lightning bolt at you.
00:15:48
Speaker
but a natural one is going to make him not only mist, but kind of electrocute his own fingers a little bit, but it doesn't seem to hurt him too much. Beautiful. And he's gonna look over at you, Vexos, and he's gonna say, um coming through you met I'm I'm gonna say back to him and in an abyssal, hi I don't know what that means, but that's going to bring us to Bruce. Oh shit. Okay. Um, yeah, I'm going to cast hideous laughter on the wizard man. Oh.
00:16:36
Speaker
uh yeah creature of your choice that you can see within range proceeds everything is hilariously funny and falls into a fit of laughter if this spell affects it the target must succeed on a wisdom saving throw which is uh 13 or fall prone becoming incapacitated and unable to stand for the duration creature with an intelligence score of four or less is not affected with four or less yeah So does it have intelligence of less than four? So what did you say to try to make him laugh? Penis. Sorry. God damn it. Penis. He looks over and he goes. Penis!
00:17:19
Speaker
Reverse psychology, bitch. yeah and That's going to be axon. Yeah, so I'm going to keep swinging away at this little shit.
00:17:31
Speaker
So fucking eight hit per chance? Um, no. Flurry of blows. All right. Uh, that's a 22. So that hits that does roll for the next attack real quick. Uh, 19 hits. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. 14 damage. Uh, so you hit him for 14 damage and he kind of like flies back hits into, uh, Like, yeah, he gets hit and he like slams into the the wall behind him. um Okay. Oh wait, no, it doesn't matter because I can use ah the way of the open hand that can push. So if we want, he could do a strength save DC 12 and he can be pushed back 15 feet because he got hit by a flurry of blows attack. Yeah. Yeah. Let's go with that. That's another 22.
00:18:26
Speaker
Yeah, that'll hit. And that's max damage. So nine, nine damage. All right. So a total of 23. All right, you hit him and then you slam him again after he is in the middle of getting away from you. And Now he looks a little concussed, but he is still standing and is now, he's got his staff kind of pointed at you. He needs to make a deck save of 12. A deck save for what? ah Open, wave the open hand every time I hit someone with a, whenever you hit one of ah your flurry of blows attacks, you can impose one of the following effects. ah Falls prone if it fails a DC 12 decks.
00:19:05
Speaker
ah push up to 15 feet if put it failed the the strength save or cannot take a reaction, I'm trying to knock him prone.
Turning Point in Battle
00:19:12
Speaker
Okay, yeah. yeahy Yeah, you did say that. Well, he got a three, so he is knocked around. Yeah, fuck that guy. And then I'm going to use my movement to just like stand right on like right above him, like I'm standing over him looking down. And that's going to bring us to... Should be me if it's right after Chase. ah No, that's going to be the big gnome first. Oh. So this ah creature of gnomes. He's gonna take his fire damage. And he's gonna take cloud of daggers damage because it's his turn. Yep, yep. So three fire. All right, so he takes three fire damage and then how much for cloud of daggers? 14. Damn. All right. um Take your time. There we go, okay. So this,
00:20:02
Speaker
This giant morph gnome sees that his wizard is getting fucking massacred. And he takes a bunch of knives that just fall from the sky. He's still burning up with fire all around him. And he is going to try to jump on top of Axon um and try to smother him.
00:20:30
Speaker
and rolls in that 20. Oh. Help.
00:20:40
Speaker
Stop rolling, fucker. um I stopped rolling. So how do they smother him? Does it like when he lands on him, do the like little like gnomes like jump down and like crawl over, axe on, just like pinning him? He looks over, jumps up, does a belly flop on top of Axon. And then a bunch of nodes like break apart as he's doing it. And then they kind of like re-congealed back into it. um And he does 30 damage. i He slams into you, does another loud roar.
00:21:14
Speaker
and then tries to frighten Noctifer, Bruce and Vexos with the roar as he's like turned towards you. So that's going to be a, was it wisdom things grow to not be frightened? 12. 15. So ah he screams out and The only one that can hold their, that can hold their composure is Noctifer. And ah Bruce and Vexos are now frightened. I'm gonna piss on Noctifer's shoulder. Bro. I just, I just feel like it's a little like, I hear like a little tingling. I look over like, is something, is that, is that, cause we're in a cave. I think it's like water. I look over and I just see him.
00:22:10
Speaker
just and el tree just like down ah and while frightened you guys are gonna have disadvantage on ability checks and attack rolls while while this big congealed monster is in front of you and you guys can't willingly move closer to to this morph gnome The good news is I'm on Noctifer's shoulder, so I'm not willingly moving. Yeah, he's not going to move willingly. But that is going to bring us to Noctifer. All right. I am going to... Yes. I'm going to take a d4 damage. D4 damage. And that's four. That's good. That's nice.
00:22:55
Speaker
oh
00:22:58
Speaker
And I'm going to cast Hex again on the wizard as my bonus action. So that's going to end the searing smite on the golem. The fire damage, which I don't think you did the Constitution saving throw for him at the end of his turn. No, is that does he have to willingly do the Constitution? Is that taking action? it's It's just at the end of his turn. It doesn't take an action. OK, well, he got a 16 and yeah he would have broke it anyways. All right. oh so cast X on the wizard and I'm going to plunge well how sorry how far ill away is the wizard from me currently like five feet like behind the wall you guys really haven't left this fucking wall yes like right by it so he's really only like four or five feet away from you um um and and kind of like
00:23:47
Speaker
off to the side, almost in between you is where this fucking giant gnome monster thing is in front of you and on top of Axon. All right. Yeah. I'm going to, uh,
00:24:02
Speaker
Well, I know he's five feet from me, but I'm still going to plunge. um So I'm going to take my sword and stab into the ground and like this inky blackness is going to like pool of ink is going to appear at my feet and I'm going to go into the ground and reappear next to the wizard. um Just cloaked all in like black. Do I go with him? Yeah, you would you would go. Yeah, you would teleport with well, not teleport. You would move with me. Yeah. This is literally fucking Shadow Exchange and I love it. and I'm going to attack the wizard um for 17 hit? Yes. Okay. So I'm gonna do 2d6 for the base weapon damage and then an extra 2d6 of plunge, which is the, it uses the weapon's damage dice. So it'll be, that's 10.
00:25:02
Speaker
19 okay that's 19 damage just from the base weapon and then I'll do my necrotic damage which is five oh and then the d6 damage for hex which is five you're trying to fucking murder this guy ah oh wait did you also attack with advantage because he's prone oh I did not attack with advantage let me see if you get a nap 20 No, no, that was that was a six. All right. Well, you fucking mistily step up into this guy in a black fog and then he beat the shit out of him. um And while prone, he looks up to you with just blood kind of dripping out of his mouth, his teeth kind of cracked. He's got like maybe four teeth left um and just pure hatred in his eyes. But he is just barely hanging on.
00:25:55
Speaker
All right. And it is going to be his turn now. And he is going to stand up, use, use his movement to stand up. And he's gonna cast Fireball. Good. Yeah. Oh, yeah. So he, he cast Fireball, which is
00:26:26
Speaker
Yeah, for 14 for a deck save. And that's going to be for Noctifer and for Bruce, since he is on Noctua's shoulder. There we go. Hell yeah. Eight. No. See, that's why I don't use this digital dice. 13. 13. So neither of you save. Oh, no. And that's 86. This is going to hurt.
00:26:53
Speaker
This could one shot me. It's not too bad.
00:27:04
Speaker
17 damage. oh So you show up right in front of him. He is beat the shit out of and he stands up shakily and a burst of fire shoots out of him directly point blank range at you guys. um and he's going to just start maniacally cackling as he does it. Does so does he take his damage or is he using, is it a sculpt spell? ah No, he he did have he did take some damage and he is like about to die. This motherfucker is a tank. Yeah, I got yeah um um so i got like smoking cinders on me. i I do like a little cough of fucking from the fire damage.
00:27:51
Speaker
Hmm. Not dead yet. OK. Oh, no. which No. And yeah, he starts ah he's laughing, but he notices that you guys are still standing and his laugh starts to subside a little bit. Wait, Bruce, how are you are you smoking cinders on me or are you you still hanging on? Oh, no, I'm good. OK. I'm hurt. Noticeably hurt. All right. So you're already but ah You're holding on by a thread. This gnome is holding on by a thread. And now it's gonna be Vexus' turn. Bro, finish this motherfucker off. Yeah, um I'm going to. Kill that motherfucker, he hurt my snake. Yeah, so I'm gonna cast Nightshade Cut on him. With disadvantage. 17. Yeah, fuck you.
00:28:51
Speaker
All right, come on, baby. Ooh, that is 11. 11 damage. Explain how you murder this, this wizard gnome. So I'm seeing everything you know kind of from a back point of view, cuz I'm just kinda like hanging out around, you know just throwing some awesome things. So I very meticulously pull up the shadow and conjure it into a blade and very precisely shoot in between all of the obstacles I have in front of me. And as it gets to the wizard, it just literally just goes right through his neck like,
00:29:34
Speaker
at his head just you shoot this out and you see his head is looking towards you as you're doing it and as it starts turning it starts sliding and then it just falls off and hits the floor his eyes are still looking around like what's going on and as soon as you cut his head off the body of gnomes homunculus starts to fall apart. And each gnome starts falling off and breaking up into a bunch of little gnomes again. ah But they don't have red eyes anymore. And their teeth are no longer quite as sharp. But there's just a bunch of these little gnomes and they look over confused about what's going on. um And, and they just like look frightened.
00:30:28
Speaker
There will be no mercy for hurting my snake. I'm gonna fucking cast.
00:30:34
Speaker
um i I'm gonna try to stop. I'll say, wait, hold on, Bruce, hold on. Wait, are we still in initiative real quick?
Battle Aftermath and Discoveries
00:30:41
Speaker
For now, yeah, we'll see what happens. um I would say, Bruce, like bruce like this is this was obviously an evil wizard. I think i think these gnomes don't know like what they've been doing. like They've been doing all this against their will. I think, possibly. You could ask them. It's Bruce's turn. Yeah, I'm gonna shout at one of them. Be like, hey, bitch. What's going on? You talking to me? Yeah, you. Who the fuck are you guys? What's just going on? Why why is quarter cut in half? Where's, where's yellow?
00:31:20
Speaker
all right i'm just gonna ignore what he said and then i'm gonna cast uh cure wounds on my big line friend what the fuck do you think you're doing you cast cure wounds on you god damn it oh never mind nope already said fuck fuck He said this. Oops. To be fair, it's not like you've told us that in in in the game. I mean, yeah, but fuck. Well, you see a damn party like you'd want to heal him. Overlap of player and character knowledge. Shit. He gets 10 health. There you go. There you go. You got 10 hit points.
00:32:01
Speaker
um As he's curing him, I'm going to look at the gnome and I'm going to hold up the head of this fucking wizard and be like, do you recognize this guy? Uh, they're going to be looking at each other, looking over at the, the wizard and looking kind of confused. Like they kind of recognize it and they look over and and say, yeah, this was, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you in the fucking mouth. They're going to look over and be like, uh, this, this was supposed to, that was gargoyle, but he,
00:32:39
Speaker
He didn't have a beard like that before. And he has like this. He's the only one, I guess this skimp brought up before. He's the only one with a big like black beard where everyone else has a ah has a white beard.
00:32:54
Speaker
was Did his beard look like yours before? or Yeah, let's just have him look. Where where's where is Gargoyle from? you Is he your family? Well, we're all family here. We're all family. And we've been growing up, and I've known him for the most of my life, but I don't even know what happened. Now I serve him with a black beard, so he's unrecognizable. Can I ah climb down and start inspecting this gargoyle guy? Yeah, you can. And I want to use a detect magic on his little ah staff, a pentagram staff. You want to do what is pentagram?
00:33:36
Speaker
detect magic. oh Okay. Figure out what's on it. It's a curse. I don't want to pick it up. kind While he's doing that, I want to, I want to, I want to use divine sense, um, as well. So let me get, uh, real quick. Let me get an arcana check from, uh, Bruce. That is a, I can't tell. Oh, 14 with, uh, with the arcana check. Bruce, you can notice that this staff has a dark property to it. um And you can see that this is something that is very similar to the creature you guys released ah let just just a little while ago.
00:34:32
Speaker
um um And I'll even say that you guys can notice like these, these guys are seeming really very confused about what's going on. Um, and they just said that they're, you know, they've grown up, with this guy had never noticed a black beard and now he's got this black beard. There's this weird Pentagon Pentagon staff. This was like something that just happened, um, that they were not, this is not something they've been doing for a long time. I'm going to look at the rest of the group, uh, and explain what I feel. And then I, and then I'm going to say like, should I touch it? Vexos from the back goes, yeah, if you touch it, I will eat them wise. Cause I'm just, I'm still, I'm still laying on the ground. My eyes are still closed. I'm just very, I'm, I'm auditorily cognizant of what's going on around me. And I know that he's trying to do some fuck shit and be chaotic as fuck.
00:35:30
Speaker
Touch it, touch it, touch it. Do I detect anything? Do I detect anything in my divine sense? So you feel an extreme dark evil presence at first? Because this is right after he got killed, correct? Yep. So you feel a extreme evil presence, and then you feel it start to dissipate now that this evil wizard has been murdered. And it seems like whatever it was controlling him is now starting to dissipate and leave the area that's around you. Is it leaving in a certain direction or is it just? It's leaving towards the end of the, like going towards the
00:36:20
Speaker
Direction that you guys were leaving this this cave, so it's like heading out. It's like leaving the cave Okay, well he's sensing. I'm gonna grab the staff Roll me a d20 at triple disadvantage. What the fuck? I'm just kidding That'd be some fucking shit though, right? ah now You grab this staff and Nothing really happens um It feels like a normal wooden silver type of staff. It's got a dark wood. Um, and there's like a black pentagram on top. And as you're looking at it, you can kind of see, you know, docs are strange. Yep.
00:37:07
Speaker
like clock shit that he does yeah like clockwork uh type of doing those naruto hand signs exactly so well he's he's not doing the hand signs but he's picking up his staff um and ah around the pentagon on the top you see really slight uh clockwork magic kind of around uh this pentagram and then You just see like this little misty shapes coming around and and circling it, but it's just really small and faint. I'm going to secretly stow this for later so that Axon doesn't see that I'm stowing this for later. All right. And in that moment, I'm going to stand up and I imagine all these gnomes are still on top of me. So they're just going to fall from like seven feet. Like, and I'm just like grabbing them and like setting them down on the ground.
00:37:59
Speaker
like shaking my head. I would not recommend getting body slammed by gnomes. And then I'm gonna sit down. Well, while you do that, these gnomes are starting to recover a little bit. um They're picking up body parts of their loved ones and their friends. And You see them solemnly like walking over, picking up their body parts and bringing them back into their little cave area. and And you see them going to little burial site that, you know, for generations they had their own little graveyard inside of this area and they start slowly, mournfully bearing their loved ones.
00:38:42
Speaker
And you see ah little gnomes, some children gnomes start popping their eyes out and looking ah from inside the little cave and watching their parents just bury some of their fathers and their uncles and their mothers. I'm gonna ask them ah if they're aware of what Gargoyle was doing ah to them. ah So one of them come kind of walks up to you and he He introduces himself Hello madam My name is You guys murdered most of my friends um we We are grateful that you stopped this terrible curse
00:39:35
Speaker
But, you know, this is not ideal. We don't know exactly what he was doing to us, but it felt like very controlling. And I think it has something to do with the staff that he was building. It used to be a wet staff, and now it's black. Do you know when that happened? Well, right before you guys showed up, I think. I'm going to look over at Vexos as I say that. Vexos is just looking at the top of the cave wall. Interesting. Nice construction. Do you remember what happened when Gargoyle started changing? Well, we were having dinner and we had this big fire going and some candle wets and we were about to have our normal purely dinner orgy.
00:40:30
Speaker
And then out of nowhere was his beard started turning black. Then we heard some screams from outside our little tunnel. And someone ran in with a snake. And then everything kind of went to black. Vixos just kind of shakes his head like, hmm. I don't know what happened. Damn. That is incredibly unfortunate. You, you guys, uh, suffered a great deal. It might have something to do with that book. No, no, I don't, I don't think a book would, uh, yeah. I don't think so. No. Oh, okay.
00:41:16
Speaker
No, I look over at Axon and I'm like, hey buddy, I think you're still a little out of it, man. that that you you had You had a dream. i um My memory is only hazy from the moment I was teabagged by a giant gnome. Hey guys, you want to make me big again? No, I think we like you small. it's It's kind of cute. I don't like me small. Make me big. he's he's like a He's like damn wise now. Honestly, he's a little snake bard. You guys think this is funny, huh? This is real funny. where You're funny guys. Into a fucking familiar.
00:41:54
Speaker
Zach, is Zach is now Samwise. Listen, listen, well, Bruce, listen, think about it. Think about it. How? Let's think about it, Bruce. You know, like if if you were bigger, you would have gotten targeted more. I don't like this, please. Like, all right. All right. If it's not your wish, you know. Wait, wasn't it your decision to become small in the first place? Now it's my decision to be big. I, uh, I'm not going to lie. I shot the, uh, the shrink ray at Bruce, uh, talking to acts on a knocked for as like, uh, under the impression that this was going to be forever. Yeah. I mean, it is, it is, it is pretty hot right now. Right. I mean, it's, does feel hot? Cause it feels hot. We can't use, we don't want to use it again. We don't want to risk. I'm going to start to go in a little bit to travel now.
00:42:43
Speaker
He needs less food, which means more for us. And by us, I mean me. Exactly. Really. I'm pretty pluses all around. You know what? You know what, Exxon? I'm going to heal you every time. Every time you get healed. Don't you dare. Give, uh, you know what? Someone would give me a check. Uh, someone can help them as well. If you want to get a help action to look at the, uh, the shrink rate. I'll help. I'll look at it. I'll roll it. Give me ah an intelligence check.
00:43:18
Speaker
Oh, that's a five with with wait. You get advantage for the help action. Oh, vanish. Nice. Beautiful. It's a six. Oh, nice. No, that's a 17. So now you're looking at this because last time you guys looked at I think it was kind of quick and then you guys were all pretty dumb and couldn't figure it out.
Gnome Culture and Community
00:43:38
Speaker
But Now that you're looking at it a little bit further, you can see that the power source that's attached to it doesn't seem to be quite as powerful from the power source that it was hooked up to when it was not mobile. And then you can kind of infer that the effects of it only last roughly 24 hours. I was also going to say, um,
00:44:08
Speaker
We only ever used it to make something large with the help of Johnny Phelps. So if this was permanent, I don't think we had a way to fix you, bud. I didn't. I thought so too. Cause Johnny Phillips had to construct a device to make us big again. That's true. So it lasts 24 hours is what you can infer. It's gotta be like a shortened time period and you can kind of gather about 24 hours makes sense for this type of magic. Um, And ah thought there upon further inspection, you're also able to realize that the reason why this keeps glowing and it keeps getting hot, uh, is that it's not hooked up to something that's mobile or immobile and something that's powerful. It's just got this extremely powerful gem that's able to keep it mobile. And it does have some type of a limit of how many times it can be used. Um, but I don't think.
00:45:06
Speaker
With at least with your knowledge right now, you'll be able to see how long or how much use it has. Or what stops it from from working. Well, I think we've already used it enough today. Sorry, Bruce, we'll have to. You will rue the day. Hey, coach, and I'm going to palm Bruce's head and yuck into Vexo. So now we're going to play fucking football with this guy. Oh.
00:45:36
Speaker
He has played football for for a while. i I catch Bruce, and then I put ah his legs just around my head. now He's just fucking hanging around um like a little toddler on my shoulders. um Yeah. I'm going to speak to the known guy who is talking to us. and tell ah ah Well, listen, like we you know we we did take some damage trying to rid you guys of the your mad wizard. Would it be possible to stock up on, uh, items and maybe sleep here for the night somewhere safe? They also did say they had a considerable amount of gold. Yeah. Yeah, that's true. Um, I don't want, I don't want to strong arm you, but if, if it wasn't for us, I mean, you wouldn't have been using that gold anyways. So well,
00:46:29
Speaker
I think it's feasible for you guys to spend the night here, and we can we can definitely supply you with some more elements and some stuff you're healing. As far as gold goes, we do have a decent amount that we can we can distribute, but we're going to need to help us out for some ceremonies for the burial. What does this ceremony entail? Death. No, I'm just kidding. Um,
00:47:04
Speaker
so we took this night to party and drink. And then in the the body parts. We buried them inside of the dark hole. That's a little bit further down in the clove. And then. um um light that on fire but that's it but worlddo okay I heard party, bring dead to whole, light hole on fire. well and Well, what do you guys think? you want You want to help out with them? Sounds pretty good. I think it sounds like a good idea. I feel kind of bad, but not really. I will revel in the destruction of the bodies that smothered me.
00:47:52
Speaker
They did attack us first. I'll roll from our fault. Shut up. What do you mean? What do you mean? They attacked us first. They tried eating us. Yeah. Yeah. You guys didn't rip a note in half prior to that. He attacked my whiskers. I'm going to crawl down off of Vexos and make sure that Thamwise is okay. I picked Bruce back up and put him on my shoulders. Oh.
00:48:24
Speaker
Hey, where are you going, buddy? He's just holding him out here underneath his arms, his little, his little fucking snake feet are dangling. I look at Bruce and I'm like, no. You get one of those, uh, those toddler leashes. I'm going to start taking my dagger and not doing anything harmful, but just poking the back just to irritate him. I put him down. Now I'm going to check on my snake. Third outfit going. I'm going to use cure wounds and heal him. All right. All right. Yeah. Speaking of how much, uh, how much healing is Tamwise getting? Um,
00:49:04
Speaker
Hold on. You know, it's funny. Tamwise ate that, that one foot gnome. So he, Tamwise is about the same size as Bruce right now. Or 11 actually, but he's full health. He said eight. He had 11. 11. Okay. Bruce and Tamwise are like eye to eye with each other. Yeah, I'm going to put my little hand on his nose and start like caressing it. yeah third This is just like when we were, you know, the same size before. That's a good observation, yeah.
00:49:39
Speaker
oh And I guess, yeah, Tamwise is just going to take the healing that you gave him, kind of rest a little bit. He's got a little bit of indigestion from eating the dome and, uh, from the the last rock monster that he ate is not sitting very well on the stomach. It's kind of just, uh, you know, rock. So he's going to take the time to kind of recover. Um, and some of the domes are walking around again, just like taking the body parts and kind of putting them in an area.
00:50:16
Speaker
and and start taking taking some moss and giving it to you guys and telling you to put the moss onto your cuts and that that will help to heal you throughout the night. And as I hand it to you, there's like this, it's like a so a green moss, but it's like a neon green and and it kind of it kind of glows. They just start putting on themselves in little patches and and handing some to you guys. Yeah, I'm going to cover all my patches of cuts and bruises and burn marks from that fireball. Yeah. I will do the same. Yeah, I'm going to do the same. All right. So as the night goes on, you guys are kind of recovering, drinking.
00:51:05
Speaker
um A lot of the gnomes, after they've picked up most of the body parts of their friends and loved ones, start putting together some of their homes again that were embedded in this rock that was destroyed. oh and And then you have some gnome kids, like 10-year-old gnome kids start walking up to you guys and try to try to play some games with you guys. Oh, hell yeah, you guys want to know how to gamble? Hey, do you guys like dice? Yeah, of course. Hell yeah, you guys want to play a dice game? Yeah, what's a dice game? The ante will be one coin, just one gold coin. followa And what we're going to do is we're going to roll 5 d6s. I'm sorry, 6. 6 d6s. All right. And we're going to try to get ah either a set
00:52:03
Speaker
or a straight run of these D6s. And we're going to see who gets the most amount of points in the first hand. Or so. All right, so go ahead and roll your 66s.
00:52:17
Speaker
All right, tell me what you got. So I've got four 6s, one 4, and a 5. You have four 6s? Yep. Just to know you don't. I'm not even joking. Oh my god. I look over this little kid's fucking hand and then I'm like, huh. That's usually glad. Yeah, that's OK, I guess. I look over at mine.
00:52:52
Speaker
consistent
00:52:55
Speaker
I look over at mine, I'm like, yeah, I mean, I got i got three fives, so it's it's kind of close. oh universal They go to see if there's actually five five or four three fives. July no I got three fives okay you you know the kid beat me oh he gets a gold coin oh my good good on you champ I'm gonna go over to the kid and go doubling nothing then I'm gonna throw my you know fixed dice six sixes six sixes Jesus Christ all right well first I'll roll for them I guess and then they're gonna try to do a
00:53:36
Speaker
If they get six sixes, I'm going to shit a brick. I wish they'd be hilarious. They got three threes, a six, a one and a two. So they're going to. Well, the the best thing you can get is what is a set of a run of one through six. Actually, that's the best. Points. That's what I rolled.
00:53:57
Speaker
Well, they got a one, two, three, three, three, six. and And they're gonna try to see if They're gonna I guess do a deception check to see if they can tell that you does this advantage because they're kids Yeah, okay. Yeah, you can have an advantage again triple advantage That's a good thing I rolled advantage because that's in that 20 oh Oh, yeah, they can't tell they're fucking stupid. Yeah. Well, they're gnomes for starters. Yeah, they're gnomes and they're children. And you just, uh, yeah, you took two of their gold coins. And then I'm gonna look at Axel and be like, suckers.
00:54:40
Speaker
I love this game. And, uh, and then they're gonna, I'm gonna be like, all right, um, do you want to play a game that we like to play? Sure. Explain. While this is going on, I'm going to go over and kind of do some meditation. I'm like, I'm not interested. in He said, fuck this. fuck Fuck these kids. All right. So you're hanging out by yourself and just being being meditative and chilling. And these gnomes come up to you and say, all right, they they explain a game to you where you roll two d20s.
00:55:21
Speaker
And the furthest one away from 10 is what you have to choose. And, uh, whatever is the higher number or sorry, whatever the furthest one away from 10 is the one that is your number. And then whoever has the highest number in the party. wins. So if you, for instance, roll two G20s and you get a 10 and a 15, then you take 15 and whoever beats a 15 wins. Or if you get a one and an 11, then you take the one and whoever beats the one wins. Yeah, I roll. I'm going to roll my fake dice. I got a 19. He also got a 19.
00:56:09
Speaker
Actually, it was kind of crazy. He rolled a one and a 19. So I'm about to have him roll again. Cause that's like literally the exact same amount away from 10. That's fucking wild. Yeah. I got that four. You beat the children again. Oh, work. That's what government comes. Uh, and so I'm going to say you guys can keep playing for a while. And while you guys are playing, what is, uh, what is axon and Vexo talking about? Vexos, I hate to bother your meditation, but can I have your ear for a moment? Yes, Saxon. There is something... I open my eyes.
00:56:51
Speaker
unsettling that happened when I was being smothered by gnome but all what unsettling? Oh, I mean, I can see how that is unsettling. But have what what specifically besides the smell besides the smell? Oh, okay. Yeah. In the darkness. I felt encroaching closer and closer to death. But I, I have never felt stronger in that moment in my life.
00:57:22
Speaker
ah dark The darkness was winning, but I could fight back. I think there's something off about the Interan people when they come close to death. Have you ever been close to death before? Not until today. maybe Maybe this is something that we need to look into. I agree, but where would we start? I have a knife.
00:57:53
Speaker
I'm not. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. accent When he says that my line judge. No, no, no, no, no. what what did What's but like exactly did you you felt like you got stronger almost? I felt like I could fight death. But what so what happened after after Bruce healed you? The strength went away, and all I could remember was the darkness slipping away from me as I slipped back into consciousness. Interesting. And i don't I don't want to tell Bruce, because I don't know how he'll handle it, and I still don't trust Noctifer yet. You are the only person I can confide in this information, but I am harrowed by the experience.
00:58:48
Speaker
I also have something to tell you. What is it, my friend? So Axon, you remember when I opened the book? Yes. Something strange happened inside when that that shadowy figure kind of just popped out. The abyssal on the book, there was not many words and then the shadowy figure emerged and I had some sort of feeling inside that not Not so much as connected to it, but that I know the sort of like demon magic that came from the book. Is this something we can handle ourselves or do we require assistance? It's gonna be a long haul. They're gonna hear me shout from a distance.
00:59:47
Speaker
looking at Noctifer. It's like stealing gold pieces from children. It's so easy. but They do have the saying, stealing candy from a kid. Well, apparently the same thing goes for money. I've never heard that before. That's funny. I look back at Axon and I tell him, I'm going to have to do some soul searching. And then I go back to meditate. I think I will do the same. Do you mind if I sit next to you?
01:00:20
Speaker
Sure. I will meditate alongside Vexos. All right. So then the night goes on and you guys start meditating.
Reflection and Rest
01:00:29
Speaker
You end up ah getting some gold from a bunch of children. How much gold? 50 gold pieces. Each? so Total. Total. Okay. You're doing one one gold piece, aunties. I think even kids would get tired of getting their ass molly whopped by fixed dice after a while. Yeah. They have no idea. I mean, they were stupid enough to dude 50 gold. Yeah. Every time losing and just being like, man, man, those guys are just really good.
01:01:02
Speaker
i liked I like to imagine Bruce baited them in a bunch and then he was like, quintuple or nothing. Yeah. And then after a while, some of the parents come over to the children and whisk them away because they see that they're losing a bunch of money.
01:01:19
Speaker
And as you guys are, you know, getting through the rest of the night, you guys can take a, you guys can take a long rest. Hold on, I'm gonna, before we take that long rest, I'm gonna try to find the sexiest no woman I can find and riz her up. Oh, God. Uh... Oh, hello. I like your accent. Where you from? I'm from the cave. My accent is pretty common here, but I like yours. Oh, yeah, thanks. Where where are you from? Italy.
01:01:55
Speaker
Oh, that sounds very foreign. I like that the accent from Italy. Oh, really? Maybe you like this spaghetti, too. yeah
01:02:10
Speaker
Yo, big dove on the wrist, baby. Yeah, give me a wrist check, bro. 10. Do I get, wait, do I get any multipliers here? Do I get sad? Well, you should get like the charisma. Charisma? Yeah, Riz Shrek is Charisma. That's what Riz stands for. You're right. Yeah, I mean, you're not wrong. Oh, it's plus five. It's a 15. So, I gotta say, we were pretty, pretty awesome. They were saving us after killing most of us, but, and she like looks down for a second, but then looks back up.
01:02:51
Speaker
You know, if you want, I've got some food in my little room over here to hang out. Food? I'm not hungry. Well, that's pretty much all we do around here is eat food. Ah. Well, good night. Now I'm going to walk away.
01:03:16
Speaker
Well, she's going to walk away and as she does, she puts her head down and you can see that she was sad because she wanted to have an eating partner. um For the rest of the night, what do you guys do before the ceremony started? and I'm going to see Bruce as he's walking around and be like, hey, what ah what was up with that? You you didn't want to seal the deal? i you know I thought it was going well and then she just invited me to eat. I'm not hungry.
01:03:48
Speaker
Yeah, I mean I'm pretty sure the chief what the guy who was talking to us last time talk about how they have food orgies oh shit
01:03:57
Speaker
I just pat him on the back. I'm like, yep, come on. It's okay. you you You failed. W Riz, bro. Well, um, so, so Vexos, he, um, he, he started his meditation early. So he, uh, you know, completes his, his meditation. He's feeling brand new. Uh, and he decides that for the rest of the time until the party, that he wants to do a very in-depth inspection of the shrink rate that we have. All right. Well. You start to inspect the shrink ray and you get to find out a bunch of stuff next episode. Damn. Oh yeah. All right. Well, thank you guys for listening. I hope you guys enjoy this episode. ah We'll see you next time.