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ABLE Voices Ep 97: Nicole Marti
6 Plays7 days ago
We are inviting artists with disabilities to be guest hosts for the Able Voices podcast. Today, our guest host is Tony Memmel.
Tony Memmel is a singer, songwriter, speaker, and teacher with unique charisma and creativity. Though he was born with one hand, he taught himself to play the guitar professionally by building a special cast that he designed out of guerrilla tape. He has toured toured 47 of the 50 states, 25 countries, and has worked with 16 countries, virtually sharing his music and his message of hard work, determination, and resilience. His work ranges from visiting schools, hospitals, and churches, to writing and arranging music for children, composing symphonies, performing in historic concert venues, and helping people with hand and limb differences, like his, to develop their adaptive methods that allow them to make music part of their lives. Today, Tony will be speaking to Nicole Marti.
Nicole (Kelly) Marti is a speaker, storyteller, and organizer dedicated to organizing sacred spaces for the disability community. She has delivered talks at schools and universities nationwide, and spoken at major companies including Google, Microsoft, and Riot Games. She co-hosted the podcast Disarming Disability, served as emcee for the Kennedy Center’s 25th Anniversary Celebration of the Americans with Disabilities Act, and in 2023 shared her story on NPR's, The Moth. Nicole is currently full-time as the Event Support Manager for the Amputee Coalition, a national nonprofit serving the limb loss/limb difference community.
Follow Tony on Social Media:
Website: https://www.tonymemmel.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tonymemmel/
Follow Nicole on Social Media:
Website: https://amputee-coalition.org/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nicolegmarti/
The ABLE Voices podcast is produced and edited by BIAAE Operations Coordinator, Daniel Martinez del Campo. The introduction music was written by Kai Levin and the ending song was written by Sebastian Batista. Kai and Sebastian are students in the Arts Education Programs at the Berklee Institute for Accessible Arts Education.
For more information about our programs visit us at https://college.berklee.edu/BIAAE
Follow us for more weekly updates at:
Instagram: @BIAAE
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/BIAAE
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Transcript
Introduction to Able Voices Podcast
00:00:13
Speaker
Hello everyone and welcome to the Able Voices Podcast. I'm Dr. Rhoda Bernard, Founding Managing Director of the Berklee Institute for Accessible Arts Education and the Assistant Chair of the Music Education Department at Berklee College of Music.
00:00:27
Speaker
And I am proud to present this podcast featuring disabled artists and arts educators.
Meet Tony Memel: Musician and Teacher
00:00:32
Speaker
We are inviting artists with disabilities to be guest hosts for the Able Voices podcast. Today, you'll meet our next guest host, Tony Memel.
00:00:41
Speaker
Tony Memel is a singer, songwriter, speaker, and teacher with unique charisma and creativity. Though he was born with one hand, he taught himself to play the guitar professionally by building a special cast that he designed out of gorilla tape.
00:00:59
Speaker
He has toured 47 of the 50 states, 25 countries, and has worked with 16 countries virtually sharing his music and his message of hard work, determination, and resilience.
00:01:13
Speaker
His work ranges from visiting schools, hospitals, and churches to writing and arranging music for children, composing symphonies, performing in historic concert venues,
00:01:24
Speaker
and helping people with hand and limb differences like his to develop their own adaptive methods that allow them to make music part of their lives. Tony grew up in, oh, I can't say that, Tony. Where did you grow up? Waukesha, Wisconsin. Thank you, Waukesha, Wisconsin, and now resides in Nashville, Tennessee with his wife and two sons.
00:01:48
Speaker
He enjoys playing basketball, swimming, hiking, and cooking and trying new foods especially if hot sauce is involved.
Introducing Nicole: Advocate and Friend
00:02:00
Speaker
All right, what is up Able Voices community? My name is Tony Memel, guest hosting one more time, and it's been such a joy to be your guest here for these last ah many episodes. And I'm so glad today to be joined by my friend, Marty.
00:02:14
Speaker
marty In Chicago today, she's been a friend of mine, i think when I first met Nicole all the way back in 2014. was trying to do the math on this this morning. And she's just an amazing advocate within the hand and limb difference and disability community.
00:02:31
Speaker
And I think she's going to be able to be an amazing advocate for ah for this group, for people who are curious about all things related to, you know, different organizations that that the that you can be involved in in the Lynn different community.
00:02:47
Speaker
Growing up with one hand, all these different things that are going to be, I think, just amazing for this community to know about today. And without further ado, I would love to introduce my friend, Nicole. Hey, Nicole, what's up?
00:02:59
Speaker
12 years, Tony. That's 12. That is unbelievable. How did that happen? It's so, so nice to be here with you. Love the excuse to spend my morning with you. So yeah, thank you for having me on. And I'm just so excited to chat with you this morning and share in conversation with you. Awesome.
00:03:18
Speaker
Well, it's so good to be here with you. I mean, yeah, we we both served at a conference back in 20, I think it was 2014 for an organization based out of the Northeast, actually right out of the Boston area um called the Helping Hands Foundation. And you were a guest speaker that weekend. And I can just remember like just getting to know you a little bit in like the back of our like carpool van that we were in. And then seeing the first thing that really stood out to me when you got to the conference was, um Not just to how how friendly and and and open with everybody you were, but just I noticed that like from the get go, you just like jumped right into just like playing with the kids. And just like you were, I just remember this really vividly because I was thinking about this. Like you were like pretending to be like, you know, like like wild cats with this little girl and stuff like that. And I was like, not to like embarrass you right off the bat, but I thought like, like I just thought that is a really cool thing.
00:04:18
Speaker
engagement and really cool um opportunity for that that young girl to to meet you and and just thought you were just so natural and fun with her. And i just wondered, like, this might be an an interesting place to
Nicole's Passion for Kids and Community
00:04:32
Speaker
jump in. Like, where does some of that come from where you just like show up somewhere and and just dive right in like that?
00:04:39
Speaker
Oh my gosh, I don't remember that at all, Tony, playing cat with a random girl. But I mean, and also doesn't surprise me because I will say that i like I love kids just inherently within my personality. And I feel like who I am. i just, i love that kids are so open and I love that kids show up and just want to play. And as adults, i i continually feel like I struggle with finding the correct adult spaces to play. And I always feel like I'm looking for them and being able to find safe spaces where the kids are,
00:05:17
Speaker
That always for me is a safe space where I know that I can play. And, and I think, you know, that year showing up into that space,
00:05:28
Speaker
It was such a weird and unique experience that I had gone through the reason that I was there. i i was a pageant queen. I had won a pageant and had gone to Miss America. And so it's sort of showing up with a literal platform. Like when you talk about that world, so much of the work that goes into that, and I won't go down the the pageant rabbit hole, but like so much of your work there is surrounded by you building a literal platform. And i felt like that platform literally was my job. And it was something that I took so very seriously.
00:06:06
Speaker
So I had the honor and the opportunity that year to hop into all of these camps, all of these sort of sacred spaces that were limb loss, limb difference spaces for our people to gather and be. and Although i still felt like I was learning us and I was trying to connect and like I didn't I didn't have a lot of the language yet that I feel like I have today where I like understand my experience a little better. And I feel like I've met some mentors and I've read some books, you know, like I don't feel like I necessarily was fully in a space to like be put on up on stage and have the platform that I had.
00:06:45
Speaker
But because I had it, I felt like I was doing my darndest to show up in those spaces and at least try to be making connections with people. And I just love kids. So um I love that that's your like one of your first memories.
00:07:01
Speaker
if It is. I thought it was really cool. And I just, you know, like. um not being critical of of anyone or anything, but I just like, I love to see that when somebody comes up that's there to do advocacy work, to show up to, to speak into young kids lives, that that was the first thing that I saw you do. Like, it was like, like, you know, not that you like just jump right on the floor and were pretending to be a cat the minute that you got there, but like, you know, like after, after meeting some people like that, uh, that you were just like, um, that that was really just sweet and cool. And, um and,
00:07:33
Speaker
I loved seeing that it was like, you you just had a very clear to me, like vision of why you were there and who you were there to serve. And that just like really shone through that moment to me.
00:07:45
Speaker
And it felt very like, you know, selfless, like very like interested in the people that you're there to serve. And I really enjoyed seeing that and still remember it to this day. It's funny how those little things that we, that we come across, like you, you know,
00:07:59
Speaker
that That's something you don't even maybe remember is something that makes a big impact in someone else's life, isn't it It really is. And I think I want to tell you what one of my first memories of you is, but also like i I will pause to reflect to say that like from that very first this conference, this meeting where you and I met, i now 12 years later,
00:08:23
Speaker
I am so thankful that like I still have connection with a lot of those young kids who have now grown into young adults. So I find myself reflecting in real time with you here now like the ways that those relationships have grown and changed because.
00:08:39
Speaker
You know, when they were that little, it was a lot about playing with them and being present with them, but also attempting and trying to create connections with the parents in the space. And now I've really formed really cool, special relationships with them as high school or college age kids that they are becoming. um,
00:08:58
Speaker
um That's really, that's like, I don't think I've paused to realize it's been 12 years, you know, and like time has passed and and people are growing and those relationships grow too. And you you are one of those as well, like a relationship that continues to grow and be a piece of that too. So my first memory of you, i am going to hop in and tell you, is sort of a reflection of the same. Like it was very clear that you were there with the kids and for the kids because i remember you with with your guitar, of course, with a circle of kids all around you, bunched all around you, as you were like showing in real time how you wrap your gorilla. I think it's gorilla tape, right? If I'm remembering right. Okay. All right. the Gorilla tape around your arms.
Nicole's Journey and Realizations
00:09:45
Speaker
And all of the kids like literally like being in awe as you showed what that process was and the way that you've learned to adapt. And then, you know, actually starting to play like your concerts at Helping Hands are like the rock star concerts, all of the kids dancing and being in the middle of that. And just sort of very much the reflection of that too, like feeling like what i was witnessing and seeing and observing you do too was very much in that space of wanting to be for those kiddos too, which I very much love and respect.
00:10:18
Speaker
Thank you. That's really, that's really kind of you to say and, uh, and sweet that you remember that as well, because that's, maybe it's something that I saw in you that I saw similar in or strive to be similar in, in myself is like to be there for those kids, to be there for their parents and then to be hopefully more than a, you know,
00:10:35
Speaker
a relationship that they have for one hour, but somebody that they can you know have as a reference and a friend for you know many years into the future. And I would love to, you know from that place, this is kind of what I was you know thinking about as I was thinking about talking to you today. It would be really cool to think about Starting with that part of our conversation, but then backing up to like when you were born and when you were young, like what was your experience? Did your folks know that you were going to be born with one hand? And then what who were some of the early people in your life who spoke into ah into your... your hi Do you call it in your in your specific instance, do you call it do you prefer disability difference? what What do you prefer when people talk?
00:11:21
Speaker
too and um I'm a big fan of of leaning into disability and fully claiming that word. So yeah. mean Okay. So when when you were born with your disability, what did people say around you and early on? Were there things that that that challenged you early on? Were there things that you were there words or or ah a longer form kind of teaching or mentorship that you had from a parent or someone in your life where they really helped you to grow and know who you were in those early days? And did you have anybody around you, any kind of, ah any person that you looked up to with a similar disability?
00:11:59
Speaker
Yeah. um So I am, how old am i My birthday is actually next week and I'm going to be 36, which six when feels very old.
00:12:13
Speaker
But all of that to say that almost 36 years ago now, Definitely, we're talking pre-internet times. um So when I was born, it was a surprise. There wasn't, nowadays, they're able to find the, like, autonomy differences at the 20-week scan. And so parents are able to sort of access community and start to dive in long before their child ever arrives earthside.
00:12:45
Speaker
not Not my experience. It was an absolute surprise when when i came out. And so the initial reaction um was a lot of flurry around, you know, we need to check internally. Is there anything else that we need to be concerned about? Is there anything else with the autonomy that also needs to be considered? Like, what what is, is there any other extra medical that we need to, like, figure out and look at?
00:13:15
Speaker
And so to my understanding in talking with my parents, there was sort of the shock of there being just something that was so visibly different.
00:13:25
Speaker
And trying to initially wrap your brain around that and what does that mean? And, you know, taking on the mourning of just mourning the idea of having a child who's going to to live with two hands, you know, like my world was going to look different. It just was.
00:13:42
Speaker
And then I think once they got back the rest of the like medical results that showed that there was no other um hidden disabilities in there that they were going to have to consider. I also think there was a layer of relief that came with that, too, that they knew you know very visibly what it was that they were going to be encountering and addressing.
00:14:02
Speaker
and moved from that space. um I am the third of three kids. So also by the time I came around, my parents were just like, don't know, keep up with your other siblings.
00:14:16
Speaker
And we came from a very rural Iowa town. So, you know, the the closest big hospitals to us were an hour and a half, two hours, three hours plus away from us.
00:14:29
Speaker
So initially sort of with that that sign off of, you know, she's healthy otherwise, my parents sort of went back into their little rural bubble that was pretty resourceless and sort of stayed in that space of like, she'll figure it out.
00:14:45
Speaker
And i think there's good aspects of that and there's bad aspects of that. i think the good aspect was I really grew grew up in a bubble where everybody knew me.
00:14:57
Speaker
So i wasn't constantly having to explain, re-explain, over-explain my body to people. i just was who I was in the community. Everybody knew who I was and I could really move about in this safe bubble confidently because everybody just knew who I was. So I wasn't having to second guess myself or over explain my body or sort of figure out boundaries around talking about my body as I grew up.
Tony's Upbringing and Influences
00:15:25
Speaker
um But then I would say the flip side of that, maybe the bad side of that, is that my parents didn't have resources to further address the realities. So what that ended up turning into for me, and I'd be interested, Tony, to deeply chat about your version of this, too.
00:15:43
Speaker
what What that turned into for me was the messaging sort of morphed into well, Nikki, I guess, you know, you learn to adapt. So you are no different. You are no different. You are no different. You are no different. And that was the messaging that I was receiving sort of on repeat from my parents closest to me But while that's nice, it's really not true. The truth is I am different. I am. And I was constantly, as I grew up and got older, encountering
00:16:16
Speaker
um situations where I felt that difference very deeply, but nobody was there to sort of help teach me the language of experiencing those differences and experiencing the world in that way.
00:16:30
Speaker
um And so really, once I went away to college was sort of when that kicked into high gear for me. That's when I really started meeting new people for the first time, having to talk about my body to strangers all the time, or I felt like I had to. I've now learned I don't have to. um i started to learn the language around my my body and how to talk about it. And um I also started to come into the realization that, oh, you know, I, I,
00:16:59
Speaker
am different and let's actually like pause and slow down and think about the ways where I am truly different and what that means for my reality. So yeah, a lot of, a lot of good mixed in with a lot of, I would say hard to being a teenager in general just sucks for everybody, but definitely now looking back, I definitely see the way that it looking so visibly different affected my confidence around boys, around maturing, around um socially engaging. Like I can see it very vividly and, you know, have tried to do the homework on the back end to like sort of deconstruct it and think through it and feel all the things that I didn't have the language to feel during that time. yeah,
00:17:48
Speaker
Yeah, yeah, just some delayed stuff that I feel like I was doing in my 20s that probably most kids are able to sort of work through a little bit younger um because they don't have that added layer. Yeah, sure.
00:18:01
Speaker
And did you like so as you well, first of all, like ah you you were said you were curious about, like, my own experience in that as well, like, similar to you, I'm 40 years old. So even fewer resources, four years, fewer resources for my parents as they were, as they were, you know, getting to know who I who I was when I was born, they did they didn't know that I was going to be born. with one hand either. And from the moment that I was born, they had to rush me to the NICU. They didn't know similar you know in a similar way what if there were other surgeries or other you know internal things that might need to be addressed. And through that, my parents had, i think just even from that maybe early
00:18:43
Speaker
traumatic experience, you know, i um like maybe a little bit of a a fear surrounding what I was, what my life might be like. And in a little bit of different circumstance, I was the first child, um but one of the younger cousins in my family. So like I was the only kid in my entire family who had, you know, a And like I have and ah the only person in my town, the only person in my, ah you know, schools growing up. So as i as I learned to grow or as I as I grew my my folks, I think, just did their best to, i think, model language for me that was
00:19:20
Speaker
a that that could help me navigate different situations at a playground or in a grocery store, especially like at a swimming pool. I think what was a little different is maybe maybe just because of a little bit bigger, it a slightly bigger town than you're describing in your life. But my parents were actually really intentional about um We will go to a different place today and like, like almost not with the goal of practicing how to talk ah ah about, you know, having one hand to other people, but like that it did naturally put me in a situation where for early on in my life, I was kind of always learning to navigate
00:19:57
Speaker
conversation, learning to navigate stairs, maybe some negative comments, maybe some curiosities, maybe some like extreme curiosity, but I want to like hold my hand and like stare at it or talk about it, you know, and like what kind of like really trying to understand what people's intentions are when they're kind of coming, coming at you with those things from, from those early days. And, um you know, one one thing that I was also curious about for, for your story was what,
00:20:24
Speaker
you remember some sort of beyond your family, maybe even some sort of early mentor or somebody that you look to, somebody you saw on TV, somebody that that maybe maybe had a hand like yours, maybe not, but just somebody that like when you saw that, that gave you some sort of encouragement or or hope as you were, you know, learning about who you were going to be?
00:20:44
Speaker
Yeah, um I did not feel like I was encountering or seeing others like me ever at all. The only spaces and times that I was would be when we would make our visits to the Shriners Hospital. yeah And that was such a hospital clinic,
00:21:06
Speaker
sterile setting. It wasn't a warm enough setting for me to feel like I was able to like connect with other people or meet people in those situations. Now I know that, you know, they do a lot of great work and there extra events and extra things going on where they are connecting kids.
00:21:22
Speaker
We just were far enough away that unless it was an appointment, we weren't going to any sort of extra social things. Right. so um When I started to hit those teenage years and I really started to notice those nuances of difference that I didn't have the language for. Like, I think for me, that was the biggest thing is I just didn't have any words to describe what I was experiencing.
00:21:48
Speaker
That happened in tandem with the Broadway musical Wicked coming out. And i know that we're on the, you know, the 20 years later when the movie's coming out, but this was a very different time. The Broadway musical is is very much its own bubble of a thing.
00:22:04
Speaker
And I globbed onto that musical unlike I had globbed onto anything else in my life because every word of every song sang by the Green Witch was words to what I was encountering in my everyday life and were a version of words that I didn't understand how to say or express.
00:22:27
Speaker
And I didn't realize that at the time. You know, I'm sure my parents did. I'm sure my parents understood that's what it was. But I was beyond obsessed. It was all that played up in my room that I was singing and dancing and doing things to.
00:22:42
Speaker
Every Christmas and every birthday, I just begged to go see it wherever it was touring close to us, which nowhere was close. um But like truly it it hit so deeply because it really was amazing.
00:22:56
Speaker
the only model that I felt like I saw that was giving me any kind of connection to what I was experiencing and trying to work through.
00:23:07
Speaker
um So my hope is that now, 15, 20 years later, the world has changed enough in a way where there are a lot more resources available to kiddos, a lot more tangible things than a Broadway musical and a green witch singing you songs. um Not that that shouldn't and can be still incredibly powerful, as we know, we're art, art is life. but um But, you know, like, I'd like to think that we've grown into a space where we've really, been able to connect much more strategically with kids and in a much more real way. So they have the literal people and resources in real time that they they need to start to learn these language and to see the reflection of themselves in real time.
Impact of Arts and Role Models
00:23:54
Speaker
But I really didn't feel like I had that.
00:23:57
Speaker
Do you feel like you had that, Tony? I would cite like that there was a person like Jim Abbott um you know out in the world, you know playing ball at a top level wast was inspiring to me.
00:24:10
Speaker
um And i also never met Jim. He would he was only on a team like I was you know very much a homer in terms of my my you know baseball allegiances so like i was a milwaukee brewers fan through and through loved that jim was out there playing and thought that was cool but like i was a i was a brewers fan first um uh um so like all to say like i that is inspiring to me knowing that that story was there my mom saw his picture in our hometown newspaper the waukesha wisconsin newspaper called the waukesha freeman and she cut out his picture for me and it was this tiny little article you know after he threw his no hitter
00:24:47
Speaker
in 1993, which is what you know most of his documentaries and book and everything are kind of all built around. So knowing that that was possible was really inspiring and exciting for me. And also, um i was always kind of, I was driven in in music and driven in sports and things like that. So that also set a very high bar of what will could be possible.
00:25:09
Speaker
I thought that was really neat to see out there. um And yet, that was pretty much the only thing I can think of. Similar to you, i think that the experiences I had in navigating or meeting other families who had kids born with my hands and arms like I had was pretty minimal.
00:25:29
Speaker
and And if so, it was you know through the through the children's hospital at some point or kind of like all different kinds of disabilities, all in one kind of unit, but not necessarily people who had hands like me. It would be, you know, people who had cerebral palsy or autism or Down syndrome or all kinds of different things, which is, you know, also really informative. And got to meet a lot of people and see that there are people go through and experience a lot of different things in their lives. um
00:26:00
Speaker
And so that was kind of its own experience, but not necessarily all hand related, you know, if that makes sense. But I also think, you know, it's good to understand, like, this is a big part of my own story as well as um the world has changed so much in terms of access that you just described that something as similar as small as, even even as it doesn't relate to to disability specifically, but um If there was somebody playing guitar at a coffee shop in the town that I grew up at and I could go see him him or her play on a Saturday night, like before I would let myself go to sleep that night, I would practice the chord that I had just seen on that guitar. And so like in a similar way, like some access to like that Greenwich singing, some something like...
00:26:41
Speaker
can spark something that that they can be, a i mean like you described, it was this not just a small like flicker of hope. There is this whole world out there for you know maybe even that connection there is like two small small town folks you know both with ah with a disability like this and there there's these little flickers that just like if you fuel them, like can can really lead to like a broader understanding, no matter where you are, you know, and ah where this project, this podcast will reach in the world to, you know, different countries are in different, ah have different beliefs about capability within disability, um you know, different ah counties and different states in our country, like depending depending on resources available to you, you never know what note of music, what musical, what, ah what,
00:27:32
Speaker
It's just going to spark that in you. And I think it's really cool that I would love to know, did you end up getting to see Wicked in person? and And like, did it become like, you've seen it 20 times? And or like, like, have you like, gotten a chance to be near it after all that early passion for it?
00:27:48
Speaker
Oh boy, what an answer I have for you. But I do want to comment on two things that you said first. yeah First of all, I must tell you that here in Chicago, i just this week went to a Cubs game and they were indeed playing the Brewers and you will be pleased as putting to know they killed us. They absolutely killed us. I won't close your, that's not been the case to almost ever in my life. but yeah That's fair. Um,
00:28:19
Speaker
But then to your point, as you were sort of sharing about Jim Abbott and this sort of figure that is so um almost like a world away, you know, like is a figure and is someone you're aware of and know of, but like not necessarily someone you know, no, I i did, I did lie to you. There was a few versions of that. Like, like you described your mom, literally like clipping out the newspaper article in my baby book. So this all it's wild actually.
00:28:51
Speaker
um Back in 2000 there. So when I was about 10, there was a woman who actually competed at Miss Iowa, ironically, what I would do many years later, who had one hand just like us, she was congenital as well.
00:29:06
Speaker
And she won Miss Iowa and went on to Miss America. And I have a vivid memory of being at a birthday party for a fellow classmate and we all stopped to go downstairs and watch this miss this contestant who looked like Nikki, who looks like you, do her talent on TV And it's funny because in real time, it sort of, it wasn't an overly big deal. Like it, it, it did have that like feeling of being special where it cemented in me, but I didn't give it too much more importance than that. 1000%.
00:29:42
Speaker
but one thousand per cent when I was considering doing pageantry 13 years later, the reason that I knew that I could be in that space and I, I could do it was because I had that example of that person 10 years before who, you know, in a way almost felt like a footnote, but wasn't like that was planting a seed. That was a seed that was planted.
00:30:05
Speaker
um So there were a few layers of that that happened. And then to your point or to your question about like Wicked and music and what did that mean, what that meant for me in my world was that i saw the pathway of theater and music and art as being a path where I could find my people and the people who made me feel seen and accepted because that particular story made me feel seen and accepted.
00:30:39
Speaker
So i as I mentioned, yes, I asked for it for every birthday and Christmas. Anytime it was nearby, my parents were absolutely wonderful and they would absolutely take it me to see it. So yes, I have seen it many, many times throughout the years growing up, which is awesome.
00:30:57
Speaker
But even deeper than that, it became then the pathway that I wanted to take. So I went into college and got my undergrad in directing and theater management. And another interesting layer there is that, you know, secretly I wanted to be on stage, but I did not have any examples of people who looked like us being on stage.
00:31:20
Speaker
So I did not think that was an option for me. so i took a management route because I thought that was an acceptable space for me to be.
00:31:32
Speaker
um and ended up moving to new York out of college and and was doing the like first steps of like doing theater management within the New York scene. Before then, my life took its left turn, and I went and I did Miss Iowa, a space where I knew I was allowed to be on stage because I had seen 13 years before on TV the woman who looked like me, right? Like that was an acceptable space for my body to be on stage.
00:31:57
Speaker
So I went home to do that. and And then that sort of changed my life trajectory even more from there. But i mean, it absolutely informed the next crucial decisions of my life because I felt so deeply connected. And it was the first space where I really felt like seen and understood through music and art and collaboration and just sort of all of those things that go into creating and making art.
Education and Career Decisions
00:32:27
Speaker
yeah Yeah. So two things there, because i would be curious to know, in a little bit of ah a different circumstance, when I was in college, my parents encouraged me because i I ended up getting a scholarship to study voice and music.
00:32:43
Speaker
And my parents encouraged me at the time, like, please also consider like, coached me into also considered doing like music business as well. So hopefully someday when you are, you know, a singer or you, you know, are doing what you're dreaming of doing that you also have some, you know, business acumen and aptitude when you actually enter the the workforce.
00:33:06
Speaker
And I took that as like, I think that's actually like that's good advice for what I was trying to do and I think it has served me well to this to this point even though was something that wasn't on my radar and I'm just curious like from what you just said was there any piece of you that actually like looked forward to that stage management direction side like as well or was it exclusively because of what you described as your body and and like having not seen that? Or was there like, I think I could be good at this as well. And this might be ah a path that could work and I could still be near the arts. And I'm just curious to kind of tease that out a little bit.
00:33:38
Speaker
Totally. I think so now I'm looking at it hindsight being 2020, right? I mean, my skill set is absolutely like I'm such a spreadsheet nerd. I'm such an organizer. Like I am yeah That is what I like to do. That is something I do have talent and am good at is organizing people and things and, and, you know, thinking about details and sort of doing all of those things is really what I'm good at. So, I mean, here now, many years past this point that we're talking about, the role that I'm in at Amputee Coalition is literally their event support manager, which effectively is me doing stage management, but for their big events. Like it is directly applicable now, all these years later in the sacred space for my community, but still sort of ties back into that original peace and love. So it's, it is, piece of love of theater. Sorry, that's what I was trying to say there.
00:34:36
Speaker
um But it's cool to sort of, again, I feel like I'm so reflective with you today, like it really to look back at sort of the time and the growth and the way that the pathway But in real time, some things just don't feel like they make any sense at all. Or, you know, of course, there's hardships and heartache and lessons that are being learned throughout it. But to sort of pause and reflect to see that um is cool. But to actually now answer the question that you asked, um I don't think it was a
00:35:11
Speaker
subconscious decision. I think if you would have asked me in real time as a college student, I think I would have just told you, this is what I want to I want to do this.
00:35:25
Speaker
But I really do think that a huge piece of that subconsciously was because I didn't see the space for me. i didn't. And that sort of comes through for me in the sense that the second that I got a chance to be on stage, I was running to that opportunity to make myself available in the space to be on stage.
00:35:48
Speaker
So, that's cool. But I also feel like there's a lot of layers within that piece too, where I feel like in that young age, I was fighting to understand my own experience. I was fighting to feel like I wanted to be seen and being seen in a stage space feels like a very literal way to be seen. and Right. So I feel like I sort of been able to unlearn that piece of the puzzle, that sort of just I guess immature is the right word, that immature way of seeking to find and connect and, and have a route to feel seen.
00:36:28
Speaker
Um, You know, I still like being on stage. I still love, but you know, presenting to people and and having that space. But i I no longer feel like it has to be my whole identity or my whole being or the only thing I have to offer the world. So i don't know. Maybe I maybe I answer that in a way too convoluted way. Oh, but.
00:36:51
Speaker
I really do think it's um a mixed bag answer there. And I do think a big piece of it is i I didn't see anyone like me. I didn't. So why would I go into a space where there wasn't a space for me? Yeah.
00:37:04
Speaker
yeah did ah did Did the Miss Iowa experience help to expose some of that in your life where you like maybe you craved like the spotlight or the stage in some way and then got to experience it and then like kind of felt like I ah had that. Now I'm kind of looking for something different again later on after like after actually getting it. Is it what you hoped for or wanted? Yeah.
00:37:29
Speaker
You're shaking your head. tell Tell me what happened there. Yeah, so it was such a, again, I've had many years now to sort of deconstruct it and think through it. And there was a lot of good that happened that year. There was a lot of really, really hard that happened that year too.
00:37:46
Speaker
um You know, you're put on a a literal national platform. Like i when i won that title and went to Miss America, I literally was world news.
00:37:57
Speaker
And so it felt like a huge, overwhelming opportunity and something that I was not, I was not ready for it. I, um so I sort of went into the Miss America experience, like,
00:38:15
Speaker
you know, if we just pause and think about what that is at its most basic, that is a space where i am walking in and I am challenging traditional standards of beauty, right? Like beauty pageants, truly, truly, there are, there is a lot more to it than that, really. Like I i know I'm saying that as a pageant girl, but if we are boiling it down to its most basic bones, like that is the role that I was playing.
00:38:41
Speaker
And I did not want that role. I wanted to show up in that space and I wanted to show up saying, I am no different. I'm proving it by being here. i am no different.
00:38:55
Speaker
So, you know, looking back at it, there was so much push and pull internally with me trying to learn and understand that piece of the puzzle.
00:39:08
Speaker
You know, like I am showing up different. I don't want to be different. it's the It's the same thing we're saying as when we were kids. I don't want to be different. I don't want to I want to blend in. I want to be the same. I was still saying that within this space that was a national level space that was getting a lot of attention that, um, did give me the opportunity to do things like go into the spaces where you and I met. Like, it really gave me so many cool opportunities, but I didn't feel like I was ready because I didn't feel like I had the resources to really teach me my language of of my body, to learn sort of the lessons about who I am in this world and sort of the...
Advocacy and Community Support
00:39:56
Speaker
how the world reacts to our bodies and realistically, what does that mean? And how do you navigate microaggressions? And how do you talk about disability history? And how do you honor like, like all of these like disability studies conversations, which I know is very like,
00:40:14
Speaker
but heady of me to bring up, but like really, really, I didn't, I, I hadn't had the chance to have access to those things yet. And I do think that the more and more time goes by, those resources are inherently being infused into conversations, reading and things that the younger generations are engaging in. So I'd like to think that they're going to be further advanced to you and I, and our experience of that.
00:40:43
Speaker
ah
00:40:46
Speaker
Yeah, no, yeah, totally. You totally. no it's great. And it actually leads into like another idea is like, as you've continued to grow and learn and um from that experience and then from like where it sort of drove you into learning more about your own experience and being able to communicate it in a more thorough way and and to.
00:41:08
Speaker
examine and to read and to listen to podcasts and to find and to meet more people and to find like the the way that you want to communicate it clearly how like for a community like this that we're speaking to today like what is some wisdom and advice that you have for like navigating that space like like to people who don't who haven't put all that time in which is almost everybody um like how do you you know continue to share that in a grace gracious graceful you know patient way while also hoping that people are coming along with you, but also like, you know, do you know, do you understand what I'm saying? Like, um, yeah, i like, it and I know that's one of the, things graceful at is yeah okay well I'm curious about like, i well maybe maybe that's a yeah, damn on the so and yell my feelings out loud. i I do. I have definitely, I definitely have a proclivity to that. um Yeah, no, i think I think that's some of the beautiful pieces of our community is that
00:42:10
Speaker
We have the chance in adulthood to like really pause and and deconstruct um experiences that we've had. But in the same breath, like that's homework for us. That's extra energy that, you know, a lot of people who don't have the experiences we have, they don't have to do that.
00:42:27
Speaker
And it takes time and it takes energy and it takes resources and it takes connecting into people. And I think, I think that, know,
00:42:39
Speaker
i've what What I feel like I've learned is that people will seek out the resources when they're ready to seek them out. And I really do firmly believe like we're in a space these days where there's really good resources that are easily accessible for people to connect in and learn. they're There have been wonderful like disability leadership organizations. So I like went through a disability leadership class here in Chicago many years ago, where literally all we did as a cohort for, for you know, I think it was technically 10 months was the program, but, you know, it was spread out. It wasn't like I was taking a full-on college course. It very much was like a a class we were taking together, if you will, where that really was having the sort of deep deeper conversations to help me
00:43:27
Speaker
in a group with other people sort of undo some of the things I had learned to sort of deep dive in and deconstruct, um to to tell me what books I could read, to tell me which people I should meet. You know, like that really could be the roadmap, I guess, is maybe what I'm trying to say. And I feel like, um you know, there's so many organizations like that doing really, really good work. And so I feel like now when I do have people coming to me that are like,
00:43:56
Speaker
I know I'm ready for something. What is that something? That's usually the direction that I am trying to pass people is to just say, like, here are the spaces where you can, in a safe place, have access to information, have access to mentors that make sense, and also have access to a co cohort that makes sense, too.
00:44:16
Speaker
um So I definitely feel like for me and trying to think through things and do all of that homework that that those spaces were really, really, really fundamentally important to to my growth and feeling like I could find the language and talk about it and.
00:44:35
Speaker
you know, grow from that space of just wanting to stand on stage and be like, look at me, look at me. I don't know why I want you to look at me, but look at me. you know um I hope that makes sense. Yeah, totally, totally. i actually think, especially like coming from the arts world, that that's actually a lot of people's experience, maybe if they have a visible disability or not, it's a desire to be seen in some way. And so I think that's ah that's a really insightful way of looking at that and maybe examining for anybody why they why they crave that.
00:45:04
Speaker
and and he and um and And, you know, thank thank goodness some you know some folks do and they make beautiful art for us and they go on the stage and share that. And, um of course, I've been a part of that myself professionally and just, ah you know, as a student and also enjoyed it from so many other people all my life. And I appreciate just the way that you so thoroughly like think through all that in your in your life and the way that you're like just really deep diving on all those things. And I'm also curious about how that's led you to your current role and how how how you're using all those things that you've learned now in 2026, you know, as an advocate in this community and in your current position. Share about what you're doing now.
00:45:52
Speaker
Totally. And I'll pause before I dive in just to say like, and I'm so thankful for them, the people like you that I do see in the world who are creating the art, who are standing on stage, who are um sharing those beautiful gifts in those spaces. So the kids can see that that is a pathway. Like, it's just so important.
00:46:16
Speaker
But yeah, now, so what am I doing today? So yeah I found my way now to work at an organization called EMPT Coalition. We are a national nonprofit that serves the limb loss, limb difference community.
00:46:31
Speaker
I think that um a lot of people are aware of organizations that may be a part of what they do is is serving our community. You know, for example, the Wounded Warrior Project, we know does sort of work with returning veterans who may happen to be a part of our community and are providing resources. But what makes Amputee Coalition um separate and different is that our work is solely ah focused on our community and the needs of our community. So there is various sort of facets of of what happened within. There's a lot of policy work, hill work that's going on within Amputee Coalition. There's information and referrals going on. So a lot of
00:47:19
Speaker
of my coworkers are what I call the frontline where when somebody is getting ready to maybe go through an amputation and they're looking for resources, they find our website, they pick up the phone desperate to talk to somebody and they come in contact with our information and referral services. And they are the space that are able to really deeply connect people into the things that they need.
00:47:41
Speaker
We of course are creating resources as well, guidebooks into different things. um And then the last piece of the puzzle is what I'm deeply invested in, which is the actual event spaces. So making sure that we're creating really high value spaces for people to come together in community.
00:48:00
Speaker
am And as we know, like there is just nothing as sacred and special as having a space where you just get to be with other people.
00:48:12
Speaker
where you don't have to say anything at all about your experience and you know that they get it. You know that they understand. And um so I take that so seriously. Like I really, really do. Like I just feel like I have um such a sacred job because it really is the space where people get to come together and feel seen and feel heard and deeply connect to one another in that cool,
Creating Events for Limb Loss Community
00:48:37
Speaker
deep way. And it's my job to do that by doing a lot of organizing, a lot of spreadsheets, a lot of detailed thought work. Yeah, utilizing all of those sort of management tools
00:48:49
Speaker
skills that I learned in school so long ago. and We really host my two. So the two big projects that I specifically work on are our youth camp, which is hands down the best part of my job because circling back to the top, I love those kiddos so much.
00:49:07
Speaker
um So in fact, those are some of the relationships that now I am engaging with kiddos that I met 12 years ago at Helping Hands. They are now both campers and counselors who come to this camp that I get to help coordinate. And that's just been amazing.
00:49:22
Speaker
amazing to like have pictures of you if you're four years old and then to like now all these years later, like be forming relationships with you. Just very, very, very cool.
00:49:34
Speaker
So that's a piece of the puzzle. It's a traditional sort of five day run in the mud, play kickball, sit around the campfire type camp that we come together and have.
00:49:45
Speaker
um It is different from other camps within our community because it is is a it is exclusively for the kids with limb loss and limb difference. So no siblings or no parents are on site. So it really is a really tight knit group of just the kiddos coming together and sharing in that space.
00:50:02
Speaker
And then the other piece of my ah role is that we run a big 700 plus person person conference every year. And it is a three day event that has an exhibit hall, has three days of programming, has just so much ah content and stuff activity happening around it. And so that's the other big piece of my puzzle. And we're excited that Tony is going to join us next year for that. I'm so excited.
00:50:33
Speaker
going to so neat. Thank you so much for thinking of me. And I'm just so grateful that we've kind of come back and touched through through your your recent work. And I'm very excited to to you know get to see you hopefully in person and get to to reconnect through that. and I would love to know like and and or have you share with the audience today like how can people find out about these events and some learn more and connect with you further in addition to the amputee coalition so that if they themselves have a disability, hand difference, limb loss or a lot of people who who
00:51:11
Speaker
you know, check in with with the the Berkeley resources are often, you know, educators who, you know, maybe have somebody in their classroom or, you know, where can they direct people in their lives to know more about what you're doing?
00:51:23
Speaker
Absolutely. Yeah. Um, NPT coalition. I mean, if you pop that into Google, it will be the first return for you. And so they're, you know, checking out the website just to sort of look around and check out and see the vast resources there uh, certainly an awesome first stop.
00:51:41
Speaker
Um, I am so always more than excited and and happy to connect and chat with people and, um, pass past them to whatever resource they may be looking for directly. So the email for me is in Marty, my first initial and my last name. So in as a nickel and then Marty, M-A-R-T-I amputee-coalition.org.
00:52:10
Speaker
I'm so more than happy to, yeah, again, chat, connect um and help in that way. And we would love, yeah we would love to have more people join us at all of these events and to be plugging into the resources that are here and are being built here within the organization because, um yeah, it's it's a special organization with a lot going on and ah lots of really cool programming.
00:52:36
Speaker
both virtually and in person. Like there's a lot of stuff that's virtual too, outside of the specific in-person things I named also. um So just lots of ways to like get involved and jump in and get to know other people and join support groups and sort of just all of the, ah so so many options to connect for you. So would be happy to direct And they can connect with you through directly through your email? do you Do you like to direct people to your social media or anything like that? or ah
00:53:08
Speaker
You totally can. If you're wanting to, I, I'm hardly on social media these days, to be honest. However, i eventually would check direct messages. And I, I think it's Nicole G. Marty is what my, like Instagram would be the one that I'm on primarily if I'm hopping on one. So also feel free to find me there and eventually I will read the message.
Conclusion and Encouragement
00:53:30
Speaker
Well, thank you so much for, you know, being here today for sharing your, your heart, your resources, your ideas for being so open and honest about everything from, you know, growing up as a ah young girl in Iowa and to, you know, navigating the world the way that you have and with so much ah grace and curiosity. It's always a pleasure to talk with you. I really enjoy being in the same space with you and being, you know, the times that we've, ah you know, been around a table and just, you
00:54:04
Speaker
I also really, from the outset today, just want to say again, thank you for the advocacy work that you in this community and just want to encourage you to keep going and and to keep shining the light that you already do. And I know you will, but just your friend Tony is rooting for you. And and i'm I'm just grateful for all that you do.
00:54:23
Speaker
Thank you so much, Tony. The same back to you. And I just am, yeah, so excited for these excuses to be connecting and reconnecting with you. Totally. it's awesome to, yeah, to continue on this journey alongside you for sure.
00:54:38
Speaker
Well, it has been such a joy to host you. And I want to say also, just as we sign off today, a major thank you to the Berklee Able Voices pod. um Having known about Berklee my entire life as a musician and a guitar player, I've become familiar with resources through YouTube for many years and friends who had attended the ah the school in person and always saw it as a beacon of education in the music world and a place that I've learned a lot from without having ever actually been a student there. And so I'm really grateful for resources just like this that exist for people who have interest in in lots of different music and artistic disciplines. And so to have been invited to be the keynote speaker last year and at the in-person conference last April in Berkeley to now being a guest podcast host and getting to talk to amazing people like my friend Nicole here today, it is ah not enough to say that it's been an honor and to and a joy to to share some of the people that I've had the the opportunity to meet in my travels and experiences of
00:55:45
Speaker
sharing guitar and music and a message around the world. And I just want to encourage anybody listening today just to remember that you have a purpose. You have something unique and a special talent, a gift, an ability. And I hope that through resources like this and through the just like natural curiosities that you have, just like Nicole talked about, you know, from something that that she described, you know, being like just hearing Wicked in a small town in Iowa, how that just just like sparked something in her soul or for for my story, hearing Kurt Cobain play guitar in in the early 90s and being like, what is that? Man, I want to do that too. How do you make that sound?
00:56:29
Speaker
what What do you do? And and then just just going out and doing those things. I believe that each of us have that thing and inside of us. And I just want to sign off today, encouraging you in that thing, wherever you are today, to keep going and to know that Just like I said to Nicole a minute ago, and I know what she would say the same, that Nicole and your friend Tony are rooting for you where you are. Thank you, Berkeley. Thank you, Nicole. I hope you have a great rest of your day.
00:57:05
Speaker
Able Voices is production of the Berklee Institute for Accessible Arts Education, led by me, Dr. Rhoda Bernard, the founding managing director. It is produced by Daniel Martinez del Campo.
00:57:17
Speaker
The intro music is by Kai Levin, and our closing song is by Sebastian Batista. Kai and Sebastian are students in the arts education programs at the Berkeley Institute for Accessible Arts Education.
00:57:30
Speaker
If you would like to learn more about our work, find us online at berkeley.edu slash B-I-A-A-E or email us at B-I-A-A-E at berkeley, that's L-E-E dot E-D-U.