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ABLE Voices Ep 78: Teddy Cosmo
15 Plays7 months ago
We are inviting disabled artists and arts educators to be guests and guest hosts on ABLE Voices. Today's guest host is Briana Raucci.
Briana is a Connecticut-based artist, writer, and photographer with multiple disabilities, including cerebral palsy, epilepsy. endometriosis, ADHD, and more. Over the years, Briana has self-described as a photographer, photojournalist, writer, graphic designer, UX & product designer, social media manager, artist, etc., but feels none of those titles alone fully embody the creativity she is constantly trying to express in new ways. After in-depth creative exploration, doing both full-time and freelance work for over 13 years, Briana is now freelancing full-time, utilizing all her creative abilities. Being a multi-passionate individual, this has allowed her to balance all of her creative endeavors and add a few more! Since this interview, she has begun fundraising to support her disability advocacy work. Today Briana will be speaking with Teddy Cosmo.
Teddy is a New York-based singer-singer, songwriter, producer, and disability advocate with cerebral palsy. Their work blends punk, grunge, folk, and alternative rock into an emotionally raw sound that speaks directly to the experience of being disabled in an ableist world. They've been releasing music since 2017, originally under the name of The Sadsaps, and have been pushing the envelope of representation for disabled musicians since high school. Playing guitar didn't come easily, but after years of practice, Teddy developed a unique technique that works with the tremors in their hands. They're also currently a Berklee College of Music student. In addition to their vulnerable songwriting, they've been vocal online about real-world accessibility barriers in the music industry.
Find Briana online at: https://www.brianaraucci.com/
Read Briana's Disability & Art Blog: https://www.brianaraucci.com/blog
Follow Briana on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/brianaraucci/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/BrianaRaucciPhotography
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/brianaraucci/
Follow Teddy on Social Media: https://linktr.ee/teddycosmomusic
The ABLE Voices podcast is produced and edited by BIAAE Operations Coordinator, Daniel Martinez del Campo. The introduction music was written by Kai Levin and the ending song was written by Sebastian Batista. Kai and Sebastian are students in the Arts Education Programs at the Berklee Institute for Accessible Arts Education.
For more information about our programs visit us at https://college.berklee.edu/BIAAE
Follow us for more weekly updates at: Instagram: @BIAAE
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/BIAAE
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Transcript
Introduction to Able Voices Podcast
00:00:13
Speaker
Hello everyone, and welcome to the Able Voices podcast.
00:00:17
Speaker
I'm Dr. Rhoda Bernard, founding managing director of the Berklee Institute for Accessible Arts Education and the assistant chair of the music education department at Berklee College of Music.
00:00:27
Speaker
and I am proud to present this podcast featuring disabled artists and arts educators.
00:00:33
Speaker
We are inviting artists with disabilities to be guest hosts for the Able Voices podcast.
00:00:38
Speaker
Today's guest host is Brianna Rauchy.
00:00:42
Speaker
Brianna is a Connecticut based artist specializing in film and digital photography, writing and design.
00:00:49
Speaker
Brianna also happens to have multiple disabilities.
00:00:53
Speaker
Over the years, Brianna has self-described as a photographer,
00:00:56
Speaker
photojournalist, writer, graphic designer, UX and product designer, social media manager, artist, et cetera, but feels none of these titles fully embodies the creativity she is constantly trying to express in new ways.
00:01:15
Speaker
After in-depth creative exploration, doing both full-time and freelance work for over 13 years, Brianna is now freelancing full-time, utilizing all of her creative abilities.
00:01:27
Speaker
Being a multi-passionate individual, this has allowed her to balance all of her creative endeavors and to add a few more.
Brianna Rauchy's Artistic Journey with Disabilities
00:01:37
Speaker
Hello everyone and welcome to the Able Voices Podcast.
00:01:40
Speaker
I'm your guest host, Brianna Racci, a disabled artist, writer, and photographer living with cerebral palsy, epilepsy, endometriosis, ADHD, and more.
00:01:49
Speaker
Through my disability and art blog, I attempt to transcend ability and demonstrate my personal experiences.
00:01:55
Speaker
I share what it's like to navigate life with multiple conditions and use my skills as an artist to convey the challenges of living with disabilities in a way that everyone can understand, regardless of their abilities.
Teddy Cosmo's Musical Career and Challenges
00:02:06
Speaker
Today I'm joined by someone who's doing exactly that through their music, Teddy Cosmo.
00:02:11
Speaker
Teddy is a New York-based singer-songwriter, producer, and disability advocate with cerebral palsy.
00:02:17
Speaker
Their work blends punk, grunge, folk, and alternative rock into an emotionally raw sound that speaks directly to the experience of being disabled in an ableist world.
00:02:26
Speaker
They've been releasing music since 2017, originally under the name of the Sad Saps, and have been pushing the envelope of representation for disabled musicians since high school.
00:02:36
Speaker
Playing guitar didn't come easily, but after years of practice, Teddy developed a unique technique that works with the tremors in their hands.
00:02:44
Speaker
They're also a Berklee College of Music graduate.
00:02:46
Speaker
In addition to their vulnerable songwriting, they've been vocal online about real-world accessibility barriers in the music industry.
00:02:52
Speaker
With their new EP dropping on May 30th, we're excited to dive into what's next for them.
00:02:57
Speaker
Teddy, I'm so glad to have you here.
00:02:59
Speaker
Let's start with your story.
00:03:03
Speaker
How did you get started with your musical career?
00:03:05
Speaker
And what was the early Sad Saps era like?
00:03:08
Speaker
Yeah.
00:03:09
Speaker
So I got started by, I guess, I grew up in a small town.
00:03:16
Speaker
So there wasn't too much music going on in Muncie, Pennsylvania, which is where I'm from.
00:03:24
Speaker
It's the middle of the state, pretty much.
00:03:27
Speaker
And so what I would do is I would travel to state college
00:03:31
Speaker
where Penn State is because I had some friends out there that were my age and also played music.
00:03:37
Speaker
So I ended up, you know, linking up with them and performing with them and sort of dipping my feet into the water, I guess.
00:03:47
Speaker
The early SADSEP stuff was basically as bare bones as it could get because I was
00:03:54
Speaker
you know super new to recording super new to any production stuff or anything like that so it was really really like folk centric and I was just trying to at that time get as much music out as possible so it was a lot of like continuous releases like there were numerous years where
00:04:16
Speaker
I would put out a record or two records or multiple EPs and just try to like keep everything going.
00:04:25
Speaker
And it was a lot of street performing too.
00:04:27
Speaker
Like during the, I guess,
00:04:30
Speaker
like 20 from like 2017 so like post high school up through the next couple years before COVID I was busking every single day for the most part and so it's a lot of long hours on the street and and it could be anywhere from
00:04:50
Speaker
Like a shorter day was like three or four hours.
00:04:53
Speaker
Some of the longer days were like, like 12 or 13 hours, just like moving from spot to spot and kind of trying to support myself that way.
00:05:05
Speaker
Wow.
00:05:06
Speaker
How did your body handle that busking for that long?
00:05:08
Speaker
That must have been tough.
00:05:10
Speaker
Not well.
00:05:13
Speaker
It was.
00:05:14
Speaker
But I was kind of a little bit bonkers with the expectations that I set for myself.
00:05:22
Speaker
Back then, I did not have...
00:05:26
Speaker
I guess I didn't have as much care or gentleness or respect for my disability and I guess tangentially my body as well.
00:05:39
Speaker
I would definitely push the envelope a lot because I was more concerned
00:05:44
Speaker
about uh you know either making making enough money to make rent or getting somebody to buy a cd or a shirt than i was about actually like listening to what my condition was trying to tell me which was every single time to slow down and chill out
00:06:05
Speaker
Yeah, I feel like that's a common theme with people with disabilities is just pushing it as far as you can go because you want to prove yourself right you want to do as much as everyone else but then your body's like please stop immediately.
00:06:18
Speaker
Exactly.
00:06:19
Speaker
Yeah.
00:06:20
Speaker
Was there a moment that made you realize music was the outlet you needed you've you started when you were really young like what inspired you.
00:06:27
Speaker
Yeah, so I started playing guitar when I was 12.
00:06:31
Speaker
Basically, what happened was, prior to my most recent surgery, which was right around that time, I was about 12, I was into wrestling and stuff.
00:06:48
Speaker
I was on the wrestling team, and I liked physically active things, but then I had this surgery, and
00:06:56
Speaker
And it sort of set me back, like significantly.
00:06:59
Speaker
I had to relearn how to crawl and how to kneel and do like transfers and any sort of like self-care, even things as basic as like, you know,
00:07:11
Speaker
for me that were regular, like changing or using the restroom independently became not regular.
00:07:18
Speaker
So it was a long adjustment period.
00:07:22
Speaker
And I realized like, oh, okay, well, going back to that same level of like physical activity isn't really going to be an option.
00:07:32
Speaker
due to the setbacks of the operation, it didn't go as well as what was projected, we'll say, to be polite to the doctors.
00:07:42
Speaker
But I think, essentially, once it kind of clicked that, like, I, just like anyone else, still needed some sort of, like, expressive outlet to get all of the
00:07:55
Speaker
the emotions and feelings out.
00:07:57
Speaker
I really just locked into music and I would just practice every day.
00:08:03
Speaker
And I used to sit in my room at my parents' house with my little Xbox 360 on the YouTube app, watching videos
Innovative Guitar Techniques and Influences
00:08:13
Speaker
of those guitar tutorials.
00:08:16
Speaker
And I would rewind them and rewind them.
00:08:18
Speaker
And it sort of became an...
00:08:24
Speaker
An outlet that the outlet that it needed to be, I guess I'll say.
00:08:29
Speaker
Yeah, that's amazing.
00:08:30
Speaker
And I read on your Spotify profile that it didn't come easily because you had tremors and you developed your own style and everything.
00:08:37
Speaker
So is there anything you had to do to adapt to playing because of your CP?
00:08:41
Speaker
Like, is there anything in particular that helped?
00:08:43
Speaker
Yeah, so most of the way that I play, there's like little bits of adaptation within all of it.
00:08:52
Speaker
Like, for example, I play bar chords really weird because my fingers don't extend in the same way that most folks would.
00:09:01
Speaker
And with the tremors that's in the right hand, they're kind of, you know, my tremors are, they sort of decide when they want to do it.
00:09:13
Speaker
And so I realized that like,
00:09:16
Speaker
Holding a pick wasn't really a good option for me because I can't guarantee that I'm actually going to keep a grip on it.
00:09:22
Speaker
Right.
00:09:23
Speaker
So I went the sort of finger style route, but it's not like the individual finger picking like how a lot of people do.
00:09:31
Speaker
It's more of I'll use my whole hand and kind of use the tremors as...
00:09:40
Speaker
an accent to the strumming because they're going to do it anyway.
00:09:43
Speaker
So I figured I just have to kind of work with it.
00:09:46
Speaker
Now, there are some things that like,
00:09:48
Speaker
do get a little trickier with the tremors.
00:09:52
Speaker
Like if I'm playing electric guitar and playing lead, I have to really, really focus in so that they don't do it.
00:10:02
Speaker
Because that, you know, a wrong note, if you're playing something like a solo or something is way more noticeable than if you're just strumming.
00:10:11
Speaker
But I've learned that it makes for a sound that I like, but also people, if I'm playing live, they'll go, whoa, your hands look crazy.
00:10:23
Speaker
What are you doing?
00:10:24
Speaker
You know, it's fun.
00:10:26
Speaker
It's a it's a cool, cool little difference, I think.
00:10:31
Speaker
Absolutely.
00:10:31
Speaker
I think that's a beautiful way to incorporate your disability and just work with it.
00:10:35
Speaker
Because I've tried to play guitar so many times and my hand, same as you, just doesn't do what I ask it to.
00:10:40
Speaker
So I think it's really cool that you incorporated that on purpose and make it a part of your sound that makes it so unique.
00:10:46
Speaker
So I can't wait to see you live one day.
00:10:48
Speaker
Thank you.
00:10:50
Speaker
You've mentioned that you were inspired by artists like the Beatles, Nirvana, Mountain Goats, Elliott Smith.
00:10:57
Speaker
What have you drawn from their music and how do their styles influence your sound?
00:11:01
Speaker
So I think the big thing that I'll pull from bands that I like is, I would say, a huge focus for me is lyrics.
00:11:13
Speaker
I really like lyrics that are narrative and tell a story, but can also be
00:11:24
Speaker
can also be interpreted in multiple ways.
00:11:28
Speaker
So the listener can kind of take what they want from it rather than me.
00:11:33
Speaker
This is what you should get from the song because that's kind of the cool thing about music.
00:11:38
Speaker
Somebody might have the same favorite song but for completely different reasons.
00:11:43
Speaker
And then as far as sound stuff goes, once I really got into audio production, it was kind of like a rabbit hole.
00:11:53
Speaker
where you can look at all these, or I could look at all these different bands that I had liked for years and years, but look at them from a different perspective that I wasn't really noticing before.
00:12:05
Speaker
So anytime something sticks out,
00:12:08
Speaker
And I go, oh, that, you know, gave me like goosebumps or that made me feel some type of way.
00:12:15
Speaker
I'll try and figure out exactly like if I were to boil it down, what is the core component that's causing that?
00:12:24
Speaker
And then see how I could like incorporate that into my own stuff.
00:12:28
Speaker
That's really cool.
00:12:29
Speaker
That must be a great way to learn different techniques too, is, you know, studying, studying the greats, right?
00:12:35
Speaker
For any art form and, and
00:12:38
Speaker
dissecting that and then you know making it your own that was actually you answered a question you know if there was any themes that you find yourself returning to in your music so you said that you take a lot of their lyrical and narrative stuff is there something you like to write about most for you
00:12:55
Speaker
Yeah, for sure.
00:12:56
Speaker
Somebody, this is so funny, somebody actually on Instagram, Fman, reached out and was like, hey, I'm doing, or I'm starting to record stuff.
00:13:07
Speaker
Is there anything that you, do you have motifs or anything you typically go to?
00:13:13
Speaker
And I was like, yeah, for some reason I write about sleep all the time.
00:13:18
Speaker
I'm always referencing either like taking a nap or going to sleep or being tired.
00:13:24
Speaker
I don't know why.
00:13:25
Speaker
I think that's just maybe my body being like, hey, just a reminder, you're sleepy.
00:13:32
Speaker
Yeah.
00:13:33
Speaker
Yeah, I think that's another common theme in disabilities is just we're constantly tired and fatigued.
00:13:38
Speaker
It takes a lot to be in a disabled body.
00:13:41
Speaker
And I think especially with CP, you know, our muscles are overreacting and doing stuff that we're not asking it to all the time.
00:13:46
Speaker
So it makes us tired.
00:13:48
Speaker
Right.
00:13:49
Speaker
Yeah.
Berklee Experience and Accessible Music Production
00:13:50
Speaker
So you studied at Berkeley, which is a cool full circle moment for the podcast.
00:13:54
Speaker
What was your experience like there both as a musician and a disabled student?
00:13:58
Speaker
Yeah.
00:13:59
Speaker
So just to clarify, so I'm actually still enrolled, so I've not yet graduated.
00:14:05
Speaker
But I do their online program because living in New York, I was like looking at the accessibility options between like, or comparative to New York and Boston.
00:14:16
Speaker
And New York has a lot of really nice setups, a lot of work to do, but definitely better than a lot of places I've been.
00:14:24
Speaker
Being at Berkeley has been essentially a dream come true.
00:14:28
Speaker
When I was like 17 and like first going like through all the college options and everything, I really, really wanted to apply.
00:14:39
Speaker
But we couldn't afford the application at the time.
00:14:42
Speaker
And if we could have and I got in, we wouldn't have been able to afford me going to like the main campus.
00:14:48
Speaker
But now that I have the option, I've learned...
00:14:53
Speaker
things that I didn't even think of.
00:14:57
Speaker
I've had professors give me perspectives that have completely changed the way I look at not only
00:15:08
Speaker
production and stuff, which is what I'm going for, but also composition and how everything is tied together.
00:15:16
Speaker
And I've also had the opportunity to talk to professionals in the industry and have professors that are, you know, touring musicians with big bands that they are sort of going around the world with all the time and
00:15:34
Speaker
have had classes where like somebody's in like an arena locker room because they had a gig or have one coming up.
00:15:41
Speaker
And so it's just been the most eye opening experience.
00:15:45
Speaker
And it's pretty much everything that I was, you know, hoping that it would be when I was 17 and really like Jones and to go.
00:15:55
Speaker
That's amazing.
00:15:56
Speaker
Have you found that your professors have
00:15:59
Speaker
helped or taught you anything about using your disability in your music or in your production or in the process at all?
00:16:06
Speaker
Like, have they been supportive of your disability throughout that process?
00:16:10
Speaker
Well, so they definitely have been supportive.
00:16:13
Speaker
However, I think since I haven't, or at least as far as I know, I haven't had any disabled professors.
00:16:23
Speaker
So their perspective with like adaptation is different because they don't have like the direct experience to pull from.
00:16:35
Speaker
But that being said, they have...
00:16:39
Speaker
If I've asked a question on the production side, because I have my home studio, if I ask a question, for example, along the lines of vocal recording and say, well, I can't really do this because of limitations, they're always able to brainstorm with me.
00:17:02
Speaker
and say, okay, what can you do?
00:17:04
Speaker
You know, or what is available to you?
00:17:07
Speaker
What resources do you have?
00:17:09
Speaker
And then sort of work with that.
00:17:10
Speaker
So in that way, they have, you know, been entirely supportive and willing to think, I guess, outside of the box to figure out what will work.
00:17:22
Speaker
That's amazing.
00:17:22
Speaker
And maybe one day you can use your experience as a disabled artist and do the same for
00:17:27
Speaker
you know, younger students and teach them from a perspective where you actually know what it's like to need the adaptation too.
00:17:33
Speaker
So that's, that's a really cool thing.
00:17:35
Speaker
And it's great that they're, you know, collaborating and brainstorming with you.
00:17:39
Speaker
Yeah, absolutely.
00:17:40
Speaker
They're, they're definitely a wonderful set of professors there and staff for sure.
00:17:47
Speaker
That's great.
00:17:48
Speaker
So your new EP drops on May 30th, which congratulations for that.
Songwriting and Production Collaboration
00:17:53
Speaker
Thank you.
00:17:54
Speaker
What can your listeners expect to hear in terms of sound, emotional arcs, storytelling, etc.?
00:18:00
Speaker
Yeah, so this new EP that's coming out is a really stripped down folk EP.
00:18:09
Speaker
The reason for that being limitations with my...
00:18:14
Speaker
my hardware my computer is about five years old and it's starting to slow down so i've noticed like i was working on a bunch of other projects that have more more tracks and i noticed once i hit like the sort of 10 11 uh track mark it will crack so i was like let me do a very basic
00:18:40
Speaker
sort of reverting back to what I used to do as the sad steps and when I was street performing and stuff, just a really stripped back folk sound.
00:18:54
Speaker
So this EP is, it's about four or five songs, haven't decided yet.
00:19:02
Speaker
There's one that might be on the chopping block, but I'm actually going to finish off.
00:19:06
Speaker
the track list today and see where it goes.
00:19:10
Speaker
It's going to be a sleepy sound that's more of a rainy day feel and kind of relaxing music as opposed to the fully produced rock or punk sound that I've been doing recently.
00:19:26
Speaker
That'll be awesome.
00:19:27
Speaker
It'll be like a serenade in your own home.
00:19:31
Speaker
That's the hope for sure.
00:19:33
Speaker
Okay, so we'll insert a piece of your music here.
00:19:37
Speaker
So do you know which song you want to play?
00:19:41
Speaker
Yeah, so what we'll play is a song called Summer Rain.
00:19:47
Speaker
And this song is essentially, for me, it's about
00:19:53
Speaker
Not being able to get good rest and hoping that you can get good rest and sort of... It's like a plea to...
00:20:07
Speaker
to sleep or to dream or to the essence of like being well rested.
00:20:18
Speaker
So it's, it's a lot about, you know, staying up and just sort of the same stuff running around your head and hoping that maybe just maybe you'll finally be able to take a load off.
00:20:31
Speaker
I love that.
00:20:52
Speaker
But I'm still dreaming of the same old things Like rolling stone and flying cars away
00:21:21
Speaker
That you might bring Leave the door open If you want to stop by Leave the door open
00:21:55
Speaker
Thank you for sharing with us.
00:21:56
Speaker
That was an incredible piece.
00:21:58
Speaker
Really appreciate it.
00:22:00
Speaker
So can you explain your songwriting process?
00:22:03
Speaker
How do you go from an idea to a feeling, you know, and then to a finished track?
00:22:07
Speaker
What is that process like for you?
00:22:09
Speaker
Yeah, for me, it all starts with voice memos on my phone.
00:22:15
Speaker
And what will typically happen is I'll have something in my head and it'll be like a melody in my head first.
00:22:24
Speaker
And then I'll play...
00:22:26
Speaker
like that over and over again in my head.
00:22:28
Speaker
And then eventually the first thing I'll do is like, just do a quick voice memo of me humming the melody.
00:22:35
Speaker
And then if I'm still feeling it, once I get there, then I'll pick up a guitar or piano and,
00:22:44
Speaker
sort of sit with it and see if I can get something.
00:22:47
Speaker
What I usually do is I'll say like random sentences in the melody until something sticks that I like.
00:22:58
Speaker
And then once I have something that I like, I'll build off of that.
00:23:02
Speaker
And I try to finish the song in a go.
00:23:05
Speaker
Like if I'm writing something, I like to try and sit down and get like, you know, the basic like skeleton of the song structure and lyrics out first.
00:23:17
Speaker
There was a in the Peter Jackson Get Back documentary.
00:23:23
Speaker
There's a clip where George Harrison and John Lennon are talking about writing music.
00:23:31
Speaker
And I think John says something along the lines of it's best to finish it once you start it because it's harder to come back to.
00:23:40
Speaker
So I've tried to keep that in mind anytime I'm writing anything.
00:23:45
Speaker
And then when it's time to actually record, that...
00:23:48
Speaker
It will either go two different ways.
00:23:50
Speaker
I'll either work with my best friend and co-producer with a lot of projects, Chris Wood, and we'll record together, either me going to Pittsburgh or him coming to New York so that we can record in one of our home studios.
00:24:08
Speaker
Or if I'm self-recording,
00:24:10
Speaker
Usually what I'll do is, you know, find some drums, then record the guitar.
00:24:16
Speaker
And then once I have the guitar recorded, record another track for it and just kind of try and build it piece by piece and then sort of fit it all together.
00:24:29
Speaker
Then I usually take a couple days.
00:24:32
Speaker
Once I have like the basic tracking done, I'll give my ears a rest on that particular song for a few days.
00:24:40
Speaker
Make sure I still like it when I come back to it.
00:24:42
Speaker
And then it and then it gets to the point of like, all right, well, what's you know, if this is a if this is a puzzle, what pieces are missing?
00:24:51
Speaker
What can I like fit in there to like really make it?
00:24:54
Speaker
fuller and get the point across that I want to.
00:24:57
Speaker
And then after that is my favorite part, which is the mixing and mastering process, which is just making everything sound professional and pretty and nice and clean and polished.
00:25:10
Speaker
That's a great process.
00:25:12
Speaker
And it's funny that you mentioned
00:25:14
Speaker
the Beatles and that and needing to kind of finish in one setting and then taking a break and coming back to it.
00:25:20
Speaker
I do the same thing with my art is kind of take a break because you're like, am I going to hate this in a few days?
00:25:26
Speaker
You know, and I was going to also say that it's a little bit Kurt Cobain, like with the lyrics, just kind of like fitting in random stuff until it, it,
00:25:34
Speaker
it kind of works and he would forget his own lyrics right yeah you know and kind of just go with it so i like i like your process it's very interesting and you mentioned your friend and producer that you work with how do you think your work together shapes your sound
00:25:51
Speaker
Oh yeah, that is a great question.
Addressing Inaccessibility in Music Venues
00:25:55
Speaker
I think that Chris and I working together has pulled me out of my comfort zone and expanded it like numerous times year after year.
00:26:06
Speaker
A lot of the reason...
00:26:08
Speaker
on like with my catalog there's a lot of like genre shifting and hopping around is thanks to chris's uh just like excellent brain i guess he can sort of see or hear what i'm trying to describe before it's actually recorded or played so if i go oh what if we have something that sounds like this
00:26:35
Speaker
he'll be able to get where I'm coming from, but also expand on it.
00:26:42
Speaker
And then that actually brings me to another thing that I guess I'll announce it here.
00:26:48
Speaker
We're actually bringing the Sad Seps back for a full length record, which is going to start being released in July.
00:27:01
Speaker
And for this one, we did a lot of co-writing.
00:27:05
Speaker
because we were able to lock in and bounce back and forth it's like a like a game of ping pong essentially um and he'll think about things in a way that i don't and vice versa and it just leads to music that i'm happier with than if i were to myself
00:27:26
Speaker
Yeah, that's a beautiful thing about art in general and music and collaboration is, you know, two heads are better than one.
00:27:32
Speaker
And especially people who come from different spots in life and just different life experiences, you know, shape your art and having multiple perspectives really enhance.
00:27:43
Speaker
art in general across all mediums.
00:27:46
Speaker
Switching gears a little bit into accessibility and, you know, your industry advocacy, you've posted really powerful videos of yourself literally climbing upstairs to perform at inaccessible venues.
00:27:59
Speaker
What inspired you to share those moments publicly?
00:28:02
Speaker
Yeah, for a long time I didn't want to.
00:28:06
Speaker
Because I was like, oh, I'll try to keep it separate.
00:28:08
Speaker
I don't want people to, like, I had this weird idea that if I showed much of that side of things, then I didn't want people to, like, listen to my music just because of that.
00:28:22
Speaker
I wanted to try and get it heard based off of its own, like, musical merit.
00:28:28
Speaker
And then what happened was COVID.
00:28:30
Speaker
Mm-hmm.
00:28:34
Speaker
I got COVID two times and I don't know for sure, but I'm pretty sure it made things like just generally worse as far as my condition goes.
00:28:46
Speaker
Like, and what I realized once things started opening back up,
00:28:52
Speaker
oh geez I can't do the physical like demanding tasks of trying to perform in these spaces that aren't set up for me anymore like um you know and and even when I first moved to New York I would still try like the first year I lived in New York I was gigging constantly and
00:29:16
Speaker
Climbing up and down stairs and, you know, hopping onto stages and, you know, taking subways and climbing up subway steps to get to different gigs that I had to get to just because.
00:29:32
Speaker
And after a while, I was like, this is one, exhausting for me, but two...
00:29:37
Speaker
I felt like if I didn't say something or show it, then nobody would know because I wasn't seeing a lot of people at that time before I started.
00:29:48
Speaker
I wasn't seeing a lot of disabled artists.
00:29:51
Speaker
And now, thankfully, I've been able to meet handfuls.
00:29:56
Speaker
And it's nice.
00:29:57
Speaker
It no longer feels like I'm on some, you know, isolated little island where I'm trying to, like,
00:30:05
Speaker
punch up and break this like ceiling of limitation.
00:30:11
Speaker
So I just with like the climbing stairs videos and things like that, I was like, well, I have this footage of it.
00:30:19
Speaker
And like when I originally took it,
00:30:21
Speaker
it was like, ah, as like kind of the meme of like, isn't this, you know, ridiculous.
00:30:27
Speaker
But then I realized, oh no, it's, it's not really a meme of how it's ridiculous.
00:30:31
Speaker
It's kind of ridiculous.
00:30:33
Speaker
So I figured I'd, I'd share it.
00:30:35
Speaker
And I got a lot of people saying like, now I don't even want to go to a venue unless it's accessible.
00:30:41
Speaker
And that's like able-bodied folks saying that.
00:30:43
Speaker
And like, I think that's what we need is enough people to be like, you know, this should change so that it actually does.
00:30:51
Speaker
Yeah, absolutely.
00:30:53
Speaker
And I should mention to our listeners who don't know you, you are a wheelchair user, and that's why you've had to do these things.
00:30:59
Speaker
And I can't imagine how exhausting it is, especially when you're playing guitar, and you're literally using your arms to climb up and down, like that would be totally exhausting.
00:31:07
Speaker
And I was excited because when I started reaching out and talking about my disabilities, you were one of the first people with CP that I came across.
00:31:14
Speaker
And I was so excited to see
00:31:16
Speaker
someone talking about this stuff and showing what it was like because, you know, I'm not a wheelchair user.
00:31:21
Speaker
You know, I wouldn't have even thought about like an inaccessible venue in that way.
00:31:25
Speaker
I've had inaccessible places myself for different reasons, but the idea of actually playing there and being able to have a show, you know, I just think it brings and sheds so much light onto such an important subjects.
00:31:38
Speaker
So you're doing a great job with that.
00:31:40
Speaker
And I really appreciate that.
00:31:42
Speaker
I appreciate that.
00:31:43
Speaker
Yeah.
00:31:43
Speaker
Have any venues or organizations reached out to you in response to those videos?
00:31:48
Speaker
And do you feel like it's led to any change or awareness?
00:31:52
Speaker
So it has led to change in awareness, which is great.
00:31:57
Speaker
I've gotten connected with other disabled folks that are trying to put together accessible spaces, which is fantastic.
00:32:08
Speaker
As far as your regular run-of-the-mill, like smaller artists venues that like I would be playing,
00:32:17
Speaker
There hasn't been much change there.
00:32:20
Speaker
Now, I think a big reason for that is, you know, you think about it, these venues have shows every week, most days of the week, and...
00:32:32
Speaker
I would say, you know, like 99 out of 100 shows, they're not going to run across somebody with needs for adaptation, so they don't think about it.
00:32:46
Speaker
I do still have venues reach out and ask me to play.
00:32:51
Speaker
And then I'll be like, okay, great.
00:32:54
Speaker
Can you tell me like sort of what the accessibility situation is?
00:32:59
Speaker
And then a lot of times, unfortunately, what will happen is it'll be like the booking agent or the promoter and they'll say, oh, I'm not sure.
00:33:10
Speaker
And so then it kind of becomes my responsibility then to reach out to the venue directly and say, hey, I was asked to play this show before I commit to it.
00:33:23
Speaker
Can I know like what the space is?
00:33:26
Speaker
You know, do you have a bathroom that I'd be able to use or that other disabled folks that want to come to the show would be able to use?
00:33:34
Speaker
Because that's the other thing, too.
00:33:35
Speaker
Even if I'm having a good day.
00:33:39
Speaker
And can push through and deal with the hassle of trying to get through and into a venue and play at a venue that's not accessible.
00:33:51
Speaker
I don't really want to play those shows anymore because I now realize that...
00:33:58
Speaker
it's, it's not really, it, it, it's not rewarding for me to play a show that isn't accessible if I know that it's not accessible and a person like me or another person with a disability can't come to it.
00:34:14
Speaker
Absolutely.
00:34:15
Speaker
Yeah.
00:34:16
Speaker
That's, that's a great way to kind of set boundaries and show people that they need to have accessible spaces if they want disabled artists and disabled people to enjoy the work there.
00:34:26
Speaker
So, um,
00:34:27
Speaker
That's great that you're spreading awareness in that way.
00:34:31
Speaker
What do you think true accessibility in the music world would look like to you in venues, festivals, and behind the scenes?
00:34:39
Speaker
True accessibility would be accessibility for everybody, not just like a certain subsective disabilities or like, yeah, we have wheelchair seating, but it's like, you know, on the side of the stage or something like that, or like,
00:34:55
Speaker
Or like you're sort of jammed in a corner where all the acts put their gear when they're on tour.
00:35:04
Speaker
So it's really just, I guess the like first building block of it would be.
00:35:11
Speaker
reaching out to people in the industry with disabilities because there are plenty of us.
00:35:16
Speaker
Like there's a lot of us that could be consultants for these venues.
00:35:24
Speaker
And I think part of it too is...
00:35:27
Speaker
You know, it would have to start like everybody says, you know, well, you have to start small with and like build from the ground up.
00:35:37
Speaker
But I think interestingly enough with music, it should honestly be the other way around.
00:35:44
Speaker
It should be starting with your bigger venues, your venues that national acts and international acts go.
00:35:52
Speaker
Because if bigger venues are, you know, fantastic with accessibility, then more disabled folks will attend.
00:36:02
Speaker
More disabled artists will be inspired to reach out to try and set something up to play there.
00:36:10
Speaker
And they have the budget and the ability to do so, whereas a lot of these smaller venues that are like bars or cafes or, you know, just clubs don't.
00:36:23
Speaker
And as unfortunate as it is, money is a big barrier for these smaller venues.
00:36:31
Speaker
locations to make the necessary adaptations that they would need to.
00:36:36
Speaker
So I think it has to come from the places that have the budget and the big pockets where they could make some concessions with their profit margin to be able to accommodate.
00:36:52
Speaker
Yeah, that's a great point.
00:36:53
Speaker
And I totally agree.
00:36:54
Speaker
And I think by the larger venues doing that stuff,
00:36:58
Speaker
they would set a standard or a precedent of what a venue should have, you know, and kind of create a standard that everyone else would want to live by.
00:37:07
Speaker
Because of course, you know, if that's the norm, then, you know, smaller venues are going to want to make sure that they're doing the same thing.
00:37:13
Speaker
So I agree.
00:37:14
Speaker
I think that's a great idea, starting with the bigger venues, because like you said, money is a big part of it, unfortunately.
00:37:20
Speaker
And I think that's another thing that, you know, disabled people have come across as an issue a lot of times is it's hard to even...
00:37:27
Speaker
buy stuff for ourselves for accessibility and adaptation and all of that.
00:37:31
Speaker
So when people have the money to invest in disability and accessibility, it's very important that they take those measures.
00:37:39
Speaker
Yeah, for sure.
00:37:40
Speaker
Especially now with, you know, the way things have been going as far as disability protections and rights go.
00:37:49
Speaker
Like, it's...
00:37:51
Speaker
it's gonna be more heavily reliant on community to hold things together.
00:37:58
Speaker
So, and even like with art specifically, like art is such a foundation of community and what keeps us all connected with each other.
00:38:12
Speaker
So it's important that it doesn't get forgotten about in those spaces.
00:38:17
Speaker
Absolutely.
00:38:18
Speaker
I think it's definitely more work for the people and the community to make sure these things are upheld, but it's also our responsibility, you know, for the future of disabled people to make sure that we kind of hold them to these standards.
Using Music for Advocacy and Personal Boundaries
00:38:31
Speaker
Do you ever feel pressured to use your art as advocacy or does it happen naturally?
00:38:37
Speaker
Yeah, I do.
00:38:40
Speaker
And I have for a long time.
00:38:42
Speaker
I used to really fight it.
00:38:44
Speaker
It definitely comes much more naturally than it used to because now I like to advocate and be loud about things because it's frustrating.
00:38:58
Speaker
And it's a good outlet.
00:39:00
Speaker
It gets people talking.
00:39:02
Speaker
You know, if you're not upsetting somebody with the art that you're making, then I shouldn't say that.
00:39:12
Speaker
You can make art that doesn't upset people, but particularly with music.
00:39:18
Speaker
someone's gonna get upset and I figure that if I'm gonna upset somebody with music I would rather upset them in a way that makes them really like reflect do some like self-reflection on why they're mad because I have gotten people that have been like hey why
00:39:40
Speaker
why should we pay attention to you just because you're in a wheelchair or whatever?
00:39:45
Speaker
It's like, I didn't say that, but what makes you think that that's... So the more I've seen that, the more I've felt like, okay, this is good.
00:39:54
Speaker
This is important.
00:39:55
Speaker
I should keep this going.
00:39:57
Speaker
And then also...
00:39:59
Speaker
I've now had a couple different people that haven't released music reach out to me and ask for help or tips or even, in some cases, production work and stuff that I'll typically do.
00:40:19
Speaker
pro bono just to get them off the ground a little bit.
00:40:24
Speaker
So that's sort of what keeps me going is less for able-bodied folks and more for just, I guess, to try and instill confidence in other disabled artists.
00:40:36
Speaker
Like, yeah, you can do it.
00:40:38
Speaker
And there's plenty of people that...
00:40:40
Speaker
are doing it and I'll be a person, you know, for anybody in the community that needs help with something to try and make sure that it happens.
00:40:52
Speaker
Cause all I wanted when I was first starting out was like somebody, I guess at the Grammys, you know, in a chair with a mobility aid to be like, Hey, we need to do this.
00:41:04
Speaker
And, you know, I didn't, we didn't have that.
00:41:08
Speaker
Yeah, we get to be the people we wanted to see when we were younger and set examples for, you know, the next generation and everything by being advocates and being loud.
00:41:18
Speaker
And I think the best art does upset people.
00:41:21
Speaker
So I do think, you know, art is supposed to emotionally evoke something.
00:41:25
Speaker
Powerful art always emotionally evokes something.
00:41:29
Speaker
So even if it's anger, you're doing something right.
00:41:32
Speaker
And it does, you know, evoke self-reflection and stuff.
00:41:35
Speaker
So I think that's so important that you're doing that.
00:41:38
Speaker
How do you emotionally navigate performing in spaces that weren't designed for you and, you know, access keeps your needs in mind?
00:41:47
Speaker
I try.
00:41:48
Speaker
Well, I stopped doing it.
00:41:50
Speaker
Yeah.
00:41:51
Speaker
I used to just like grin and bear it.
00:41:55
Speaker
And the reason I don't really gig too much now with with a few exceptions is because I I mean, one, it got really expensive.
00:42:06
Speaker
Like I was
00:42:07
Speaker
If the subway station didn't go to, like if there wasn't an elevator at the stop I needed it to go to, I'd have to call a cab.
00:42:15
Speaker
And that's really, really expensive.
00:42:19
Speaker
I wasn't making money necessarily at all these shows.
00:42:22
Speaker
And if I was, it wasn't as much as I was paying on.
00:42:25
Speaker
for a cab there and back.
00:42:27
Speaker
So I essentially set a boundary for myself, which is still really hard to like stick to of if, if my friend that's in a wheelchair can't come to it, not because of like a pain day or whatever, but just solely based off of the venue's own limitations, then I'm not going to play it because if,
00:42:53
Speaker
You know, I might be able to hold my bladder for five hours to get through a set.
00:43:00
Speaker
Somebody else might not have that luxury.
00:43:04
Speaker
And increasingly, as I get older, I have less and less of that luxury.
00:43:09
Speaker
Right.
00:43:09
Speaker
So it's more for...
00:43:13
Speaker
I guess out of solidarity, it's like I don't want to play a spot that somebody else couldn't come to.
00:43:19
Speaker
When I was doing those shows, I would just... I would navigate it for the high of the performance.
00:43:27
Speaker
It was like chasing that.
00:43:30
Speaker
I'd be like, oh, well, it sucks to have to crawl up these stairs or to climb over a bunch of stuff to get onto the stage.
00:43:38
Speaker
But at least for 30 minutes...
00:43:42
Speaker
I have everybody looking at me for reasons I want them to be instead of reasons I don't.
00:43:48
Speaker
Yeah, definitely.
00:43:50
Speaker
Based on that, what advice would you give to other disabled musicians who are just starting out, whether they're facing physical, emotional or systemic barriers?
00:43:59
Speaker
Because, you know, what you're saying and and kind of setting that boundary in solidarity, like, would you recommend that they do the same thing when they're young?
00:44:07
Speaker
Like, how would you what would you say to them?
00:44:10
Speaker
I would say the most important thing is to listen to your body and your brain because artists a lot of times will listen to their heart or their emotions and what they want to do and what their aspirations are.
00:44:25
Speaker
If I had listened to myself when I was younger and doing all those crazy hours of street performing, maybe I'd be in a little better physical shape today.
00:44:37
Speaker
You know, I have, I have like,
00:44:40
Speaker
two injured rotator cuffs and that's fully from all the crazy stuff that I was doing and all the like extra pushing the chair around with the weight of the guitar climbing upstairs or I remember one time doing a rooftop concert back in like this was probably 2017 but like climbing up through a window to get onto the roof and then to plug in the keyboard I had to like
00:45:09
Speaker
I had somebody holding my ankles so I could lean down to get the extension cord.
00:45:15
Speaker
Like I was doing crazy things.
00:45:17
Speaker
Yeah.
00:45:18
Speaker
That able-bodied people shouldn't even necessarily be doing.
00:45:21
Speaker
Right.
00:45:21
Speaker
But like, it's okay to have these barriers and your own personal barriers.
00:45:29
Speaker
It's not okay for these venues to have the barriers, but don't push yourself into
00:45:35
Speaker
to to fit into the mold of what the scene or the society or the neighborhood is saying you have to do to like make a splash in the industry because i've been doing this for well i'm 27 so like i've been releasing music for like 10 years
00:45:56
Speaker
I'm a lot further along than I was 10 years ago.
00:45:59
Speaker
But I don't think that if I continued pushing and didn't listen to my body, and I don't think that if I was still playing these inaccessible venues, it would make me any further along.
00:46:17
Speaker
In fact, I think that it might
00:46:21
Speaker
even have caused more issues because one of the reasons that I stopped was I noticed oh it's it's getting hard to even play like there was a period where it was hard to play guitar for more than like 20 minutes without having like crazy nerve pain that fortunately has gotten much much better but only because I started listening to my body and taking my health seriously
00:46:48
Speaker
Yeah, I think that's an incredible point.
00:46:50
Speaker
And I completely agree with any art form and following your dreams that way.
00:46:55
Speaker
Listening to your body is so extremely important because especially with CP, it is not a degenerative condition or anything, but the body is inherently degenerative.
00:47:06
Speaker
And when you do things that even able-bodied people would be hurt from, like crawling through windows and stuff, it's going to hurt and it's going to affect your body.
00:47:16
Speaker
And I think
00:47:17
Speaker
you know, young disabled people, it's hard to respect your body because the public doesn't really respect your body a lot of times.
00:47:24
Speaker
So it is hard, but I think that's great advice for younger people to really listen to your body from a young age and try to respect yourself as hard as it is, because it will benefit you in the long run to make sure you're working with your body rather than against it.
00:47:41
Speaker
And you don't need to prove yourself.
00:47:43
Speaker
You will prove yourself through your
00:47:45
Speaker
skills and your talents and through being you and being authentic, I think.
00:47:48
Speaker
So I think that's an excellent point.
00:47:50
Speaker
Yeah, exactly.
00:47:52
Speaker
And with, you know, with any disabled art form, we're going to have to pave our own way as disabled artists anyway.
00:48:02
Speaker
So you might as well pave your own way in a way that's comfortable and actually doable for you rather than just saying, okay, well, I'll pave my own way, but I'm going to still do all the same stuff that everybody else is doing.
00:48:15
Speaker
There's no handbook on any of this stuff.
00:48:17
Speaker
We don't really have, you know...
00:48:20
Speaker
a lot of people to look to for for advice so pave your own way in a way that works for you and the right people will find your art whether it's music or visual or digital art or film like the people that are supposed to see it will see it it's just a matter of finding the way that you can get it out there and
00:48:46
Speaker
that preserves your ability to keep making it.
00:48:51
Speaker
Yeah, absolutely.
00:48:53
Speaker
A couple more questions real quick.
00:48:56
Speaker
What helps you keep going on your hardest days, especially, you know, when you're not feeling good and everything?
00:49:01
Speaker
I think the main thing that helps me keep going would be the knowledge that I have now that like it has made
00:49:11
Speaker
some difference on like any scale.
00:49:16
Speaker
Like now that I've had people reach out to me and that are also artists and say, well, thank you for doing this.
00:49:24
Speaker
Or like, you know, I want to do it too.
00:49:27
Speaker
Like that was always my dream.
00:49:28
Speaker
So like, even on the worst day, I can look back at that and be like, well, I have this, I did what I wanted to do.
00:49:36
Speaker
So I can, I can keep pushing forward.
00:49:39
Speaker
That's awesome.
00:49:40
Speaker
Where can people find your work and follow you and how can they support you directly?
00:49:45
Speaker
Yeah, absolutely.
00:49:46
Speaker
So I would say that Instagram is probably by far my most active platform.
00:49:55
Speaker
And then as far as like streaming the music side of things, it's on all the platforms like Spotify, Tidal, Apple Music, all of those guys.
00:50:06
Speaker
But yeah, if you want to check any of the advocacy stuff out or get in touch or anything like that, Instagram is definitely the best way to go.
00:50:14
Speaker
Perfect.
00:50:15
Speaker
Well, I've had a great time guest hosting with Teddy today.
00:50:18
Speaker
If you're looking to find our work, you can find Teddy on Instagram, Spotify, and all the music platforms.
00:50:23
Speaker
And you can check me out at briannaracci.com or on Instagram at briannaracci.
00:50:28
Speaker
Definitely go listen to their upcoming EP and support their work however you can.
00:50:33
Speaker
It's been a pleasure guest hosting Able Voices podcast.
00:50:36
Speaker
Be sure to check out my blog for a companion post about this conversation and more reflections on disability in art.
00:50:42
Speaker
Thanks for listening and take care until next time.
00:50:47
Speaker
Able Voices is a production of the Berkeley Institute for Accessible Arts Education, led by me, Dr. Rhoda Bernard, the founding managing director.
00:50:56
Speaker
It is produced by Daniel Martinez del Campo.
00:50:59
Speaker
The intro music is by Kai Levin and our closing song is by Sebastian Batista.
00:51:05
Speaker
Kai and Sebastian are students in the arts education programs at the Berkeley Institute for Accessible Arts Education.
00:51:12
Speaker
If you would like to learn more about our work, find us online at berkeley.edu slash B-I-A-A-E or email us at B-I-A-A-E at berkeley, that's L-E-E dot E-D-U.