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ABLE Voices Ep 77: Ash Marnich
14 Plays8 months ago
We are inviting disabled artists and arts educators to be guests and guest hosts on ABLE Voices. Today's guest host is Briana Raucci.
Briana is a Connecticut-based artist, writer, and photographer with multiple disabilities, including cerebral palsy, epilepsy. endometriosis, ADHD, and more. Over the years, Briana has self-described as a photographer, photojournalist, writer, graphic designer, UX & product designer, social media manager, artist, etc., but feels none of those titles alone fully embody the creativity she is constantly trying to express in new ways. After in-depth creative exploration, doing both full-time and freelance work for over 13 years, Briana is now freelancing full-time, utilizing all her creative abilities. Being a multi-passionate individual, this has allowed her to balance all of her creative endeavors and add a few more! Since this interview, she has begun fundraising to support her disability advocacy work. Today Briana will be speaking with Ash Marnich.
Ash Marnich is the freelance artist and illustrator behind Ash M Creations. Based in Duluth, MN, Ash works across ink, graphite, watercolor, and mixed media to create emotionally evocative compositions that often merge human anatomy, natural elements, and surreal textures. Her art explores deeply personal and symbolic themes, striking a balance between vulnerability and imagination. Ash’s work has been featured in multiple exhibitions and is available online and in select stores. She also creates commissioned pieces ranging from book illustrations to custom artwork and posters for comedians. With an active online presence, Ash shares her unique artistic vision—and a warm, understated sense of humor—with a growing audience. Ash lives with hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos syndrome, a connective tissue disorder that affects her joints and mobility, a reality that informs her resilience and creative voice.
Find Briana online at:
Read Briana's Disability & Art Blog: https://www.brianaraucci.com/blog
Follow Briana on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/brianaraucci/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/BrianaRaucciPhotography
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/brianaraucci/
Follow Ash on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ash_m_creations/
Shopify: ash-m-creations.myshopify.com
The ABLE Voices podcast is produced and edited by BIAAE Operations Coordinator, Daniel Martinez del Campo. The introduction music was written by Kai Levin and the ending song was written by Sebastian Batista. Kai and Sebastian are students in the Arts Education Programs at the Berklee Institute for Accessible Arts Education.
For more information about our programs visit us at https://college.berklee.edu/
BIAAE Follow us for more weekly updates at:
Instagram: @BIAAE
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/BIAAE
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Transcript
Introduction: Able Voices Podcast and Guest Host
00:00:13
Speaker
Hello everyone, and welcome to the Able Voices podcast.
00:00:17
Speaker
I'm Dr. Rhoda Bernard, founding managing director of the Berklee Institute for Accessible Arts Education and the assistant chair of the music education department at Berklee College of Music.
00:00:27
Speaker
and I am proud to present this podcast featuring disabled artists and arts educators.
00:00:33
Speaker
We are inviting artists with disabilities to be guest hosts for the Able Voices
Meet Brianna Rauchy: Multifaceted Artist
00:00:38
Speaker
podcast.
00:00:38
Speaker
Today's guest host is Brianna Rauchy.
00:00:42
Speaker
Brianna is a Connecticut based artist specializing in film and digital photography, writing and design.
00:00:49
Speaker
Brianna also happens to have multiple disabilities.
00:00:53
Speaker
Over the years, Brianna has self-described as a photographer,
00:00:56
Speaker
photojournalist, writer, graphic designer, UX and product designer, social media manager, artist, et cetera, but feels none of these titles fully embodies the creativity she is constantly trying to express in new ways.
00:01:15
Speaker
After in-depth creative exploration, doing both full-time and freelance work for over 13 years, Brianna is now freelancing full-time, utilizing all of her creative abilities.
00:01:27
Speaker
Being a multi-passionate individual, this has allowed her to balance all of her creative endeavors and to add a few more.
Introducing Ash Marnich: Artistic Journey Begins
00:01:38
Speaker
Hello everyone and welcome to the Able Voices Podcast.
00:01:41
Speaker
I'm your guest host, Brianna Ratchi, a disabled artist, writer, and designer living with cerebral palsy, epilepsy, endometriosis, ADHD, and more.
00:01:49
Speaker
Through my disability and art blog, I attempt to transcend ability and demonstrate my personal experience.
00:01:55
Speaker
Today I'm joined by Ash Marnich, the freelance artist and illustrator behind Ash M. Creations.
00:02:01
Speaker
Based in Duluth, Minnesota, Ash's work combines ink, graphite, watercolor, and mixed media to explore deeply personal and symbolic themes, often merging human anatomy, natural elements, and surreal textures into emotional and evocative compositions.
00:02:17
Speaker
Ash has been featured in multiple exhibitions and sells her art both online and in select stores.
00:02:23
Speaker
Through her personal work as well as commissions, which span from books to custom artwork and posters for comedians, she has an active online presence and demonstrates her unique perspective and artistic skills, blending them with her great sense of humor.
00:02:37
Speaker
Ash lives with hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, or HEDS, a connective tissue disorder that affects her joints and mobility.
00:02:46
Speaker
This is our first time actually chatting versus texting, but I think it's safe to say that we pretty instantly became friends once I saw her artwork for a comedian, Mike Cannon.
00:02:57
Speaker
And we started talking about our disabilities and how we use comedy to get through chronic pain and everything.
00:03:04
Speaker
So needless to say, I'm very excited to finally talk to you.
00:03:08
Speaker
Well, yeah, I'm excited to talk to you, too.
00:03:10
Speaker
It's fantastic.
00:03:12
Speaker
And yeah, it's so cool how we kind of connected.
00:03:16
Speaker
It's great.
00:03:18
Speaker
Absolutely.
Art Education and Challenges
00:03:19
Speaker
So can you tell us about your artistic journey?
00:03:21
Speaker
How did you get into art and find your visual voice?
00:03:24
Speaker
Yeah.
00:03:26
Speaker
I mean, I'm going to say the cliche thing that I think every person in the art says is like, oh, I've been drawing since I can remember and blah, blah, blah, blah.
00:03:36
Speaker
So I'm going to say it.
00:03:37
Speaker
I've been drawing since I can remember.
00:03:40
Speaker
I literally, I've tried to search back for, you know,
00:03:45
Speaker
a different answer.
00:03:47
Speaker
And I all I mean, my mom told me and I think she even had a picture of it once where I fell asleep with a color crayon in my hand, you know, as a as a toddler, because I always was always drawing.
00:04:04
Speaker
And so that I mean, my entire life, I've always been creative.
00:04:09
Speaker
And that was kind of my journey.
00:04:12
Speaker
I don't remember anything else.
00:04:15
Speaker
I just kind of knew from day one what I wanted to do.
00:04:20
Speaker
It fluctuated.
00:04:21
Speaker
You know how little kids are always like, sometimes they'll be like, I want to be a veterinarian or blah, blah, blah, blah.
00:04:26
Speaker
You know, that might come up here or there, but it was always something that I wanted to pursue.
00:04:31
Speaker
And due to illness, I ended up having to leave high school and then just test out.
00:04:41
Speaker
Yeah, yeah.
00:04:42
Speaker
It was a whole
College Experience and Career Focus
00:04:44
Speaker
ordeal.
00:04:45
Speaker
It was one of those things where many months of being told that I was faking to get out of school.
00:04:54
Speaker
And pretty soon during a meeting with the principal, assistant principal and my mom and I, it was just suggested that I just test out, which I'm actually now looking back very thankful for because it actually made me work harder.
00:05:11
Speaker
in the long run than I would have had I graduated.
00:05:14
Speaker
Honestly, I had to study on my own and I learned my own resilience through that.
00:05:18
Speaker
And then a few years after that, I kind of floundered.
00:05:22
Speaker
I had actually thought about becoming a physical therapist assistant.
00:05:28
Speaker
Wow.
00:05:29
Speaker
Yeah.
00:05:30
Speaker
And that, you know, and that's where I think my very first interest in the human form and how the body works came to be.
00:05:39
Speaker
And then,
00:05:42
Speaker
But I still wanted to go back to art.
00:05:45
Speaker
And I knew that that was what I really wanted to do.
00:05:49
Speaker
And just to double check, I took some classes at a local community college and was brought, took aside by an instructor.
00:05:58
Speaker
And he told me that I needed to go and pursue art full time.
00:06:01
Speaker
And I did that.
00:06:03
Speaker
I got accepted on a scholarship to the Detroit University.
00:06:08
Speaker
College for Creative Studies.
00:06:09
Speaker
It was actually funded by the Ford family.
00:06:11
Speaker
And at that time, it was not like you had to, it was a private college.
00:06:18
Speaker
So you had to be accepted in.
00:06:20
Speaker
It was, it had this whole process.
00:06:21
Speaker
They've expanded since and whatnot.
00:06:24
Speaker
And I started out there with a concentration on entertainment illustration.
00:06:30
Speaker
Oh, wow.
00:06:31
Speaker
That's so interesting.
00:06:33
Speaker
Yeah.
00:06:33
Speaker
I had wanted, I, you know, for the first year,
00:06:37
Speaker
two years, I would say, you know, took storyboarding classes.
00:06:42
Speaker
You know, it was kind of cool because we had people from like the industry come in and speak and guest instruct.
00:06:51
Speaker
And I had the privilege of meeting Sid Mead twice, shaking his hand.
00:06:59
Speaker
And to this day, it was phenomenal.
00:07:01
Speaker
I will say, he was, I think in his 80s at the time,
00:07:07
Speaker
softest hands in an individual I've ever felt in my life.
00:07:12
Speaker
Yeah, that sticks with me.
00:07:13
Speaker
And very, very cool.
00:07:16
Speaker
But I became very clear that the competitiveness in that field was extreme.
00:07:25
Speaker
And the school I went to was very, very, the dropout rate due to pressure and stress within the first semester of the freshman year, it was on the top, like,
00:07:36
Speaker
Yeah, it was a very demanding school.
00:07:41
Speaker
And I realized that I enjoyed the entertainment industry, but it just wasn't my jam.
00:07:49
Speaker
And after taking a required anatomy course and excelling at that, I mean, it was a great course.
00:07:57
Speaker
I was one of a few students that was given, granted the access to actually attend a real life autopsy.
00:08:06
Speaker
Because of, yeah, because of like
Freelance Transition and Work Process
00:08:08
Speaker
the skills.
00:08:08
Speaker
And so then I realized that, you know, entertainment wasn't for me on, and then just going into what was considered editorial illustration, you know, and I've kind of balanced since then between the realm of commercial illustration and fine arts.
00:08:28
Speaker
And when I graduated with my bachelor's in fine arts, I graduated
00:08:35
Speaker
Graduated with honors and then also was one of two students given the green light to go on to med school.
00:08:42
Speaker
Wow.
00:08:43
Speaker
In anatomy illustrator.
00:08:46
Speaker
I did one diagram of the human eyeball.
00:08:52
Speaker
And it was so taxing because when you're doing that kind of illustration, you have to have everything correct.
00:09:01
Speaker
And I realized I just want to be creative with it, dude.
00:09:04
Speaker
Yeah.
00:09:05
Speaker
You know, I'm like, and also after, after completing that school, I'm like going on to med school.
00:09:11
Speaker
I just don't want to pay for that.
00:09:13
Speaker
And yeah, so I've just been working freelance on and off since then.
00:09:18
Speaker
And I really, the past, I'd say year, year and a half, I've really just kind of pursued it even more.
00:09:26
Speaker
You know, before I didn't take it seriously, I kind of, you know, but yeah.
00:09:30
Speaker
Yeah, I've really started branching out and really pursued what I want to, which is everything.
00:09:36
Speaker
And I thought until recently that I had to stay in one lane.
00:09:41
Speaker
But yeah.
00:09:42
Speaker
Yeah, absolutely.
00:09:43
Speaker
What an incredible journey.
00:09:44
Speaker
That took a bunch of twists and turns that I didn't expect.
00:09:47
Speaker
Sorry, I'm like hearing myself going, how do I like recap all of this?
00:09:52
Speaker
Because it was crazy.
00:09:54
Speaker
It's incredible.
00:09:55
Speaker
It's incredible.
00:09:55
Speaker
And you answered like all my questions about your journey already.
00:09:58
Speaker
So that's amazing because it...
00:10:00
Speaker
It's just so interesting because I was going to ask how you ended up incorporating, you know, anatomy, nature, all these different things into one thing.
00:10:07
Speaker
And it's all a part of your journey.
00:10:08
Speaker
And it's so crazy how ableist they were in high school that you ended up, you know, they didn't even believe you.
00:10:14
Speaker
And then you ended up graduating with a degree with honors and all that later on.
00:10:19
Speaker
So absolutely incredible.
00:10:23
Speaker
For listeners who might not know, can you briefly describe your condition and how it affects your daily life?
00:10:30
Speaker
Yeah, it is a crazy, crazy condition.
00:10:34
Speaker
And when I say that, it's I mean that with the sense of it's different for everybody.
00:10:39
Speaker
And I'm still understanding it and actually accepting it.
00:10:43
Speaker
I was actually having a discussion this morning with my boyfriend about how if I was on the outside and somebody was trying to explain this to me, I would just start to think that it was
00:10:56
Speaker
This person is making this up because it is such a broad, I guess I keep hearing people refer to it as an umbrella because the people under it, everybody's situation is different.
00:11:11
Speaker
For me specifically, I've always had what I was called when growing up, it was your triple jointed.
00:11:19
Speaker
As I've learned, that's not a thing.
00:11:22
Speaker
But it was this thing where I'm bending, like I can bend my thumb back to touch my forearm without problems.
00:11:31
Speaker
My ankles can go completely.
00:11:34
Speaker
I could walk on the side of my ankles and nothing happens.
00:11:38
Speaker
I just always thought my entire life that that's how...
00:11:44
Speaker
things were, how everybody was.
00:11:45
Speaker
And I also thought everybody felt uncomfortable and felt a sense of discomfort and at times pain in their body.
00:11:53
Speaker
And so that's how it affects me.
00:11:55
Speaker
I know that it affects people differently.
00:11:58
Speaker
There's various types of EDS.
00:12:02
Speaker
It will affect people's organs.
00:12:05
Speaker
It affects their hearts.
00:12:07
Speaker
It basically affects their skin, anything that's a connective tissue.
00:12:13
Speaker
And in my case, it's a form where it affects my joints, but it also affects my muscles.
00:12:19
Speaker
My muscles get tense and they seize up, but my joints are extra flexible.
00:12:25
Speaker
So I'm pulling things out of joint just by functioning, just by being on a daily basis.
00:12:33
Speaker
Yeah.
00:12:36
Speaker
How does that affect your ability to make art physically, like drawing and painting and packaging and selling prints?
00:12:42
Speaker
Like how does
Adaptive Strategies and Tools
00:12:44
Speaker
that affect you on the day to day?
00:12:46
Speaker
On the day to day, it affects me because if I want to sit down and work on a piece, I'm like, yeah, I'm engaged in this.
00:12:56
Speaker
I want to work on it.
00:12:58
Speaker
My body sometimes will say, hey,
00:13:01
Speaker
We're only going to let you work on this for 10 minutes.
00:13:05
Speaker
And then we're going to start sending fire up your spine.
00:13:10
Speaker
You know, it's, oh, hey, you bent down to get that, that print.
00:13:15
Speaker
Guess what?
00:13:17
Speaker
Your hip is out of joint now.
00:13:20
Speaker
Your pelvis is off and you are going to have a problem.
00:13:23
Speaker
Or my body will sometimes just be like, yeah, we're not bending down today.
00:13:28
Speaker
You know, it's,
00:13:31
Speaker
It is a, you know, so it's kind of like I've had to come to terms with the fact that, you know, the feeling of like, I sometimes I don't get to decide, but I take advantage of when things are and I'm very thankful for when things are working, you know, and asking for assistance and being more vocal with people and clients, which I just recently become comfortable in doing and saying, hey,
00:14:00
Speaker
Just to let you know, I struggle with these physical issues.
00:14:05
Speaker
There are some days that I just can't work because my hand will cramp up.
00:14:09
Speaker
And if I try to push through it, it will delay the project.
00:14:14
Speaker
So, you know, this project might, you know, take, you know, what is our window?
00:14:19
Speaker
What is the room that we can work in?
00:14:21
Speaker
So, yeah, that's pretty much how it affects me is, you know, frequent breaks, shorter work periods.
00:14:30
Speaker
changing from sitting and working at a piece to standing and working on a piece to all of that and asking for assistance when I, again, asking for assistance when I can get it.
00:14:43
Speaker
Well, good for you for starting to speak up and tell your clients and everything.
00:14:46
Speaker
And knowing, I talk about this often, but to work, and we've talked about this often, but working with your body versus against it.
00:14:53
Speaker
And it is frustrating when your body doesn't want to cooperate and we have like the mental capacity to do the work, but our body's like, no, not right now.
00:15:00
Speaker
You know, it gets very frustrating, but it's good that you've learned to like embrace it and kind of go with it as frustrating as it can be.
00:15:08
Speaker
It is frustrating.
00:15:09
Speaker
And again, I'm still...
00:15:10
Speaker
learning it.
00:15:11
Speaker
I actually, for the last year, I've been working with a hypnotist who has helped me tremendously in, she's also a brain rewiring expert and performance coach.
00:15:23
Speaker
So she's helped me tremendously with understanding that and living with the illness instead of being, having the illness modify my life, if that makes sense.
00:15:38
Speaker
And I'm again,
00:15:39
Speaker
Just learning that.
00:15:40
Speaker
But, you know, it's one of those weird things is where sometimes people really want to help more than you think.
00:15:46
Speaker
Mm hmm.
00:15:47
Speaker
No.
00:15:48
Speaker
Yeah.
00:15:49
Speaker
That's amazing.
00:15:51
Speaker
So in terms of, here, let me see.
00:15:54
Speaker
Have you had to adapt your tools, workspace, or creative process because of this?
00:15:59
Speaker
Like, do you actually have any adaptation tools for drawing and for these processes?
00:16:04
Speaker
Yeah, I have multiple, multiple cushions, back support, various, I mean, I have a stim unit that I'll put on if need be.
00:16:19
Speaker
shoes that are for just inside the house that have special inserts for when I'm feeling a bit off and like I just don't have like that dexterity in my feet um yeah and then even just various ways that I can set a drawing board at various angles even that can help because I won't even realize that I've been leaning down at such a
00:16:43
Speaker
a way that, oh, yeah, like, I'm not aware of this, but my shoulder has been, like, weirdly twisted and out of joint.
00:16:51
Speaker
And that's not, you know, and again, because my body doesn't send me messages to let me know all the time that something is, it's one of those things where, like, my body doesn't always send me the messages it's supposed to.
00:17:08
Speaker
That's another part of it is it, I'm not aware that,
00:17:12
Speaker
I shouldn't be keeping my shoulder at such a such a way that, you know, where the average person, they'd be like, Oh, my gosh, my collarbone feels like it's going to snap in half, whereas my collarbone just goes, Oh, we're going to go here now.
00:17:25
Speaker
And, you know, so it's, it's, it's really being aware.
00:17:30
Speaker
And then just using what I have.
00:17:33
Speaker
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Creative Process and Techniques
00:17:36
Speaker
It's fascinating because like we've talked about, we don't have the same condition at all, but it's so relatable in the way that like our bodies aren't really telling us, you know, like mine is like spasming out and I'm not really noticing it until it's like screaming at me or, you know, it'll start yelling at me if I've been in a position for too long and haven't paid attention because of my ADHD and I've been hyper-focused on something.
00:17:58
Speaker
But it's just, it's interesting how like you use the term umbrella, like
00:18:02
Speaker
All these different conditions are so broad and affect people so differently, but it's also so relatable, even though it's not the same cause like yours is joints and flexibility in that way.
00:18:14
Speaker
But it's we experience some of the same pain and everything.
00:18:17
Speaker
So it's very weird, but relatable.
00:18:20
Speaker
Very, very relatable.
00:18:23
Speaker
So your pieces often feel both delicate and intense, emotionally charged and fine detailed.
00:18:29
Speaker
Can you walk us through your process from idea to finish?
00:18:34
Speaker
Yeah.
00:18:35
Speaker
And thank you.
00:18:36
Speaker
That's a really great way of mentioning my work.
00:18:40
Speaker
Yeah, I actually have to see a piece finished in my head before I can start it.
00:18:45
Speaker
Wow.
00:18:46
Speaker
Yes.
00:18:48
Speaker
I...
00:18:50
Speaker
I never really talked about it until one day just having a conversation with a friend of mine after he and I had had a few drinks, actually, to be honest with you, and I felt a little bit loose and I was like, Hey, you know, we were talking about my artwork and I'd said, you know, this is going to sound weird, but I have to see a piece finished in my head before I can start it.
00:19:10
Speaker
And he goes, no, that doesn't sound weird at all.
00:19:12
Speaker
And he's not an artist at all.
00:19:14
Speaker
And yeah,
00:19:16
Speaker
So there's times where I will like just kind of randomly kind of free sketch or whatever and see what comes out.
00:19:24
Speaker
But I have to see at least the composition in my head finished before I can even start the actual rough sketch ideas.
00:19:34
Speaker
That's where that's.
00:19:35
Speaker
That's so interesting.
00:19:38
Speaker
Yeah, yeah, it is.
00:19:40
Speaker
And I've tried to, you know, force it.
00:19:44
Speaker
When I was in school, we had, we didn't have a choice.
00:19:46
Speaker
We had to force it.
00:19:48
Speaker
And whenever I've had to force certain things, I'm there's a weird disconnect with the project.
00:19:56
Speaker
And it doesn't always work out.
00:20:00
Speaker
But then there's, I think I've kind of trained my brain to, to really kind of tune in though.
00:20:07
Speaker
And I will kind of make a collage in my head slowly and
00:20:11
Speaker
piece it together.
00:20:11
Speaker
And then I'll just, and it's usually when I'm doing something like, you know, mundane, of course, and then all of a sudden, it's in my head, like fire.
00:20:20
Speaker
And, and sometimes it instantly, instantly is in my head, I'm given a project and boom, there is like that Nate Bragazzi poster.
00:20:28
Speaker
Yeah, yeah, I was I got the email, I, you know, I accepted the offer, blah, blah, blah.
00:20:34
Speaker
And then
00:20:35
Speaker
Two minutes later, all of a sudden I saw that, that, that derpy all with the big dumb eyes.
00:20:41
Speaker
And then I just drew it.
00:20:42
Speaker
I just drew it on a piece of lined paper.
00:20:45
Speaker
So that's what happens is I have to see a finish.
00:20:48
Speaker
Then I go to rough sketches where I'm trying to translate from my head to the paper.
00:20:53
Speaker
And as an artist, you know, it doesn't always get there, but gets close.
00:20:58
Speaker
And from there, I finish out kind of the line work and, you
00:21:04
Speaker
Then I take that line work.
00:21:06
Speaker
If it's just a small sketch, then I'll scan it, blow it up, print it out, and then transfer that onto Arches cold press watercolor paper with a graphite pencil.
00:21:20
Speaker
I go in and usually do the line work very softly with a 00.5 fine point drafting pencil, which is
00:21:30
Speaker
difficult to come by that lead and you stab yourself frequently and it breaks frequently but for some reason that's the thing that works for me um i do a grace a light gray scale of the piece in pencil then that's when i start after once the black and white kind of gray scale piece is done then i go in with
00:21:55
Speaker
Micron ink pen.
00:21:56
Speaker
Again, super, super fine point.
00:21:58
Speaker
And then once I go in with basic outlines, I then start adding watercolor.
00:22:06
Speaker
And then it's just a combo of however it works.
00:22:10
Speaker
I'll use sometimes watercolor pencils in there to add a little bit of color.
00:22:18
Speaker
And then it's a process back and forth between that pen, some more graphite, and then I just build the image up.
00:22:25
Speaker
It's very intuitive.
00:22:28
Speaker
It's a process that I've tried in the past to teach.
00:22:34
Speaker
And it just, I can't because each piece is different.
00:22:39
Speaker
And I just make it work how it works.
00:22:41
Speaker
Yeah, that's incredible.
00:22:43
Speaker
I feel like as an artist, oftentimes, like I see the image in my head, but I see very, very like hyper realistic, and I'm not good at that.
00:22:51
Speaker
So I get frustrated with my art because I'm like, it's not looking how I want it to.
00:22:55
Speaker
But you I feel like you have such a clear picture and it translates so well.
00:22:59
Speaker
And it's just, it's just so detailed.
00:23:01
Speaker
And, and like I said, delicate, but also like powerful.
00:23:04
Speaker
It's just it's beautiful.
00:23:06
Speaker
So I absolutely love your work.
00:23:08
Speaker
Thank you.
00:23:09
Speaker
Oh, I was just going to say this is the tricky thing, though.
00:23:12
Speaker
I totally get what you mean, because I see things.
00:23:15
Speaker
I see my images moving.
00:23:17
Speaker
I forgot.
00:23:18
Speaker
I left that out.
00:23:20
Speaker
Yeah.
00:23:21
Speaker
Probably nine times out of 10.
00:23:23
Speaker
Not all the time, but a lot of times the images are moving.
00:23:26
Speaker
So in the 3D.
00:23:27
Speaker
Yeah.
00:23:27
Speaker
Yeah.
00:23:27
Speaker
Yeah.
00:23:27
Speaker
So it's.
00:23:35
Speaker
I heard that animators, people that work in animation sometimes do that.
00:23:38
Speaker
But for me, yeah.
00:23:40
Speaker
I was going to ask, like, have you ever thought of animating like a full scene?
00:23:45
Speaker
I have thought about it when I was in school.
00:23:48
Speaker
I definitely looked into it.
00:23:50
Speaker
And then I realized it wasn't really for me.
00:23:52
Speaker
Yeah.
00:23:54
Speaker
Yeah.
00:23:55
Speaker
That's interesting how it comes up in your head, though.
00:23:57
Speaker
That's super cool.
00:23:58
Speaker
Yeah.
Balancing Business and Health
00:24:00
Speaker
As a freelance artist, how do you balance running a business with the unpredictability of the chronic illness?
00:24:07
Speaker
I know you just said you started speaking up and everything, but how do you find a balance with the actual business side of it?
00:24:15
Speaker
I'm working on that currently because the balance has been tough.
00:24:21
Speaker
I'm not going to lie.
00:24:23
Speaker
Because it takes so much, because I have to take so many frequent breaks and because some days it's just not going to work for me.
00:24:31
Speaker
it's difficult because I, sometimes I feel like I have to, and sometimes this is the case, I have to choose between creating or putting my time and effort towards the online aspect and the building the business portion of it.
00:24:46
Speaker
So for that, I'm still practicing the process of it.
00:24:55
Speaker
But again, it's just really being aware of
00:25:01
Speaker
what is working and what isn't working in the moment.
00:25:03
Speaker
Yeah, absolutely.
00:25:05
Speaker
Like, yeah, it's, and then just being, being, you know, vocal with other people and being vocal with myself and then not getting down on myself.
00:25:15
Speaker
Mm hmm.
00:25:16
Speaker
Yeah, for sure.
00:25:18
Speaker
It's hard not to do, but you got to push through and do it.
00:25:21
Speaker
And it's a process learning how to balance these things.
00:25:25
Speaker
I first obviously found your art through my canon, which was incredible.
00:25:28
Speaker
And then I know you've created art for Nate Bargetsy and another very big person that I don't know if I can mention yet.
00:25:35
Speaker
Yeah, I think it's under wraps right now.
00:25:37
Speaker
Okay, under wraps right now.
00:25:39
Speaker
But what role has comedy played in your life, especially as someone dealing with chronic pain?
00:25:45
Speaker
And has humor influenced your art style or the way you tell stories visually?
00:25:51
Speaker
I would say humor hasn't had the chance to really influence my art too much.
00:25:58
Speaker
I've, you know, yeah, I usually actually, I would say my condition has influenced my art more.
00:26:07
Speaker
Because I do a lot of pieces that incorporate anatomy, things like connective tissue, things like that.
00:26:13
Speaker
But when it comes to comedy, it has just really helped me cope.
00:26:19
Speaker
Mm-hmm.
00:26:20
Speaker
And I'm sure you've run into this, that it's so easy, like not everybody, it falls on very well because especially people that don't have a disability, they're like, what are you taught?
00:26:30
Speaker
Like, what?
00:26:31
Speaker
Like I recently joked with a physician and I had said, yeah, I took my Bergazzi money, injected it into my hips.
00:26:38
Speaker
And she goes, oh,
00:26:40
Speaker
oh, that's sad.
00:26:42
Speaker
That's so sad.
00:26:43
Speaker
I'm so sorry.
00:26:44
Speaker
And I just was like, I am fine.
00:26:47
Speaker
I said it because I was proud.
00:26:50
Speaker
I was proud of making the money to get medical treatment.
00:26:56
Speaker
You know, my insurance wasn't going to pay for it.
00:26:59
Speaker
So, you know, so I was proud, but also I found it really funny.
00:27:05
Speaker
And so it's one of those things is like being able to joke about that.
00:27:10
Speaker
I'm not in making sure though.
00:27:13
Speaker
Also, I'm not putting myself down at the same time, you know, and being a comedy fan, I've kind of just learned that, you know, and it's just being able to laugh.
00:27:29
Speaker
I, my, you know, my favorite moments in life, I are laughing.
00:27:34
Speaker
Again, since I can remember, I have actually since I was a child and I think my dad was watching a stand up comedy special on HBO.
00:27:44
Speaker
Wow.
00:27:45
Speaker
You know, and I remembered.
00:27:47
Speaker
And so I've always been a person that just really loves to laugh.
00:27:53
Speaker
And I don't know, I it's just really helped me, especially at the times when I have the choice between having a horrible reaction.
00:28:04
Speaker
Or to just be like,
Humor in Coping with Disability
00:28:08
Speaker
yeah, you know, like, yeah, it's, I mean, which way do I, I mean, in those moments, which way do I want to go?
00:28:15
Speaker
And I'm very blessed with the fact that my brain just wire is wired to just make a joke about it.
00:28:21
Speaker
And yes,
00:28:22
Speaker
I think it's a coping mechanism.
00:28:24
Speaker
I've been told that dark humor especially is people's way of coping through and deflecting.
00:28:31
Speaker
But if that's the worst thing that I'm going to do to cope and deflect, then bring it on.
00:28:37
Speaker
Yeah, I totally agree.
00:28:38
Speaker
And I was going to say, which is funny you mentioned it, I feel like a lot of people that I've met...
00:28:42
Speaker
who have chronic illness and disability and everything have this sense of dark humor because it's like, what are we going to do?
00:28:49
Speaker
Sit around and cry all day.
00:28:50
Speaker
I do that sometimes too, but that being said, you know, sometimes you just have to laugh about it because like, what else are you going to do?
00:28:57
Speaker
It's,
00:28:58
Speaker
It's part of life and you have to embrace it and find the funny in it because if not, we would be miserable all the time.
00:29:05
Speaker
I know, right?
00:29:06
Speaker
Right?
00:29:06
Speaker
I mean, and I do know some people that they latch onto that and they make them miserable their identity and that's their journey.
00:29:14
Speaker
That's how they're choosing to.
00:29:15
Speaker
But for me, it's
00:29:18
Speaker
I, you know, and it's also made other people around me, it's broken the ice and made them less uncomfortable and made them laugh at the situation too and see that, you know, oh, you know, otherwise they might just be focused on my friend or my significant other is struggling and there's nothing I can do to help it.
00:29:38
Speaker
That's my control.
00:29:39
Speaker
If, if, if anything else, I might
Advice for Disabled Artists and Syndrome Insights
00:29:42
Speaker
not have control of what my body wants to do that day, but I have control of like,
00:29:46
Speaker
how I'm going to face it.
00:29:49
Speaker
And that attitude.
00:29:50
Speaker
I love that.
00:29:52
Speaker
Yeah.
00:29:52
Speaker
And of course there's those days, a lot of those days where it's, you know, I'm going to, but, and I think that's where like, you know where years ago I became a, my Canon fan.
00:30:06
Speaker
If you know, cause that was the comedian we met through is because I remember him telling store a story about his dad and
00:30:15
Speaker
throwing a Christmas tree out the family's front door when he was a child.
00:30:19
Speaker
There's so many people that would be like, that is horrific.
00:30:22
Speaker
That is traumatic.
00:30:23
Speaker
And he found a way of taking this horrible, horrible thing and twist it in retelling it in such a way that it made me double over in laughter.
00:30:33
Speaker
And I was, so it's, again, it's, these things are tragic, but they, they can be approached in a way where it's, you know,
00:30:46
Speaker
It's funny.
00:30:47
Speaker
I don't know.
00:30:48
Speaker
Absolutely.
00:30:48
Speaker
And it can be healing too, I think, hearing jokes about this stuff.
00:30:52
Speaker
And like, you know, when I listen to comedians, even if they don't have disabilities necessarily, but talking about mental health and depression and everything, bringing light to those dark subjects feels so good because it feels so all-encompassing sometimes.
00:31:06
Speaker
So to have those light moments is absolutely incredible.
00:31:11
Speaker
questions and then I know we have to go.
00:31:13
Speaker
What advice would you give to other disabled or chronically ill artists trying to build a creative career?
00:31:20
Speaker
I would say don't do it on anybody else's terms.
00:31:25
Speaker
Do it on your terms.
00:31:27
Speaker
I like that.
00:31:27
Speaker
Figure out what works for you.
00:31:29
Speaker
Just what might work and even in the disability community what might help one artist with maybe even the same situation like the same diagnosis
00:31:39
Speaker
It might not be the same workflow that you can do, but don't let that stop you, you know, from just pursuing what you want.
00:31:50
Speaker
And there's, and again, you would be amazed how many people actually are understanding and want to help.
00:31:59
Speaker
You just have to mention it.
00:32:00
Speaker
You just have to bring it up.
00:32:02
Speaker
And not everybody's going to understand, but there's for every one person that doesn't understand, there's probably 10 that do.
00:32:09
Speaker
Yeah, absolutely.
00:32:11
Speaker
Is there anything you would want people to know about HEDS, chronic pain or disabilities in general?
00:32:18
Speaker
As far as EDS goes, I would say that, you know, it's still a process and they're still figuring out, you know, certain blood tests to do it.
00:32:30
Speaker
So that's something just to be aware of that.
00:32:32
Speaker
And it is considered one of those illnesses where it is
00:32:37
Speaker
invisible for a lot of people.
00:32:40
Speaker
So just because somebody might at face value look quote unquote healthy doesn't mean that they're not struggling or not in pain that day.
00:32:51
Speaker
So just have a heart.
00:32:53
Speaker
Absolutely.
00:32:54
Speaker
Yeah.
00:32:55
Speaker
That applies for sure with any invisible illness.
00:32:58
Speaker
You know what I mean?
00:32:59
Speaker
Absolutely.
Conclusion and Call to Action
00:33:00
Speaker
And then finally, where can people find your work and how can they follow you and support you directly?
00:33:06
Speaker
Awesome.
00:33:06
Speaker
Yeah, I find my work mostly on Instagram, ashmcreations.com or at instagram.com.
00:33:16
Speaker
And through there, I have my Shopify and my personal contact because I'm very approachable.
00:33:22
Speaker
I'm open to direct messaging.
00:33:25
Speaker
I'm open to emails, open to texts, everything.
00:33:27
Speaker
So that's pretty much the source for right now to find me.
00:33:32
Speaker
Awesome.
00:33:32
Speaker
Thank you so much.
00:33:33
Speaker
So I've had a great time guest hosting with Ash today.
00:33:37
Speaker
If you're looking to find our work, you can check me out on briannaracci.com or on Instagram at briannaracci.
00:33:44
Speaker
You can find Ash on Instagram at ash underscore m underscore creations.
00:33:50
Speaker
Definitely go explore her portfolio, check out her available work and support her as she continues creating.
00:33:56
Speaker
Be sure to check out my blog for a companion post about this episode and more reflections on disability, creativity, chronic pain, and of course, the healing power of the podcast.
00:34:06
Speaker
Thank you so much.
00:34:07
Speaker
Thank you.
00:34:10
Speaker
Able Voices is a production of the Berkeley Institute for Accessible Arts Education, led by me, Dr. Rhoda Bernard, the founding managing director.
00:34:19
Speaker
It is produced by Daniel Martinez del Campo.
00:34:22
Speaker
The intro music is by Kai Levin, and our closing song is by Sebastian Batista.
00:34:28
Speaker
Kai and Sebastian are students in the arts education programs at the Berkeley Institute for Accessible Arts Education.
00:34:35
Speaker
If you would like to learn more about our work, find us online at berkeley.edu slash B-I-A-A-E or email us at B-I-A-A-E at berkeley, that's L-E-E dot E-D-U.