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FIND EMPOWERMENT even when PLANS DON'T work out! image

FIND EMPOWERMENT even when PLANS DON'T work out!

S5 E92 · A Life By Design
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When the rug gets pulled out from under your feet and your plan for your life is turned upside down, how to do you remain centred & grounded and head confidently in a new more aligned direction?

That’s exactly what I talk about in this episode, as someone who has experienced exactly this, in both my business & personal life.

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Transcript

Introduction: Plans Are Fluid, Not Fixed

00:00:00
Speaker
Welcome back to the Alive by Design podcast. For those of you who don't know me, I am Marie-Nicole Meunier and today's topic is Plans are Fluid, Not Fixed.
00:00:11
Speaker
Now, as a coach, I am always telling my clients that consistency is key, whatever the objective is. And that can be for content creation, that can be for our health and wellbeing, that can be for reaching our business goals or our life's dreams.
00:00:24
Speaker
However, we also need to be aware that there are times when life presents us with challenges, experiences and opportunities that help pull us back a little bit, give us that opportunity to stop, reflect, reassess and realign with the actual goal that life is guiding us towards, which sometimes isn't exactly according to our plans.

Life Changes: Fluidity in Action

00:00:51
Speaker
Now it's been a minute or two since I've shown up online and created content for this channel and it's exactly for this reason that I wanted to focus today on this idea that our plans need to be fluid, not fixed.
00:01:05
Speaker
For those of you who have been following me for a while, you will know that over the last three and a half years I've become a single mum And I'm in the process of selling the property that we've called home for the last 10 years.
00:01:17
Speaker
Now it has just sold and we have exchanged contracts and we will be out of here. Well, now it'll be in the next like 30 days. So that's not long to pack up a life of 10 years and move.
00:01:29
Speaker
Prior to this process of putting a home up for sale, I closed a commercial space and moved on the equipment that was no longer required. and then moved whatever I needed back here and set up this beautiful studio shed, which I've been working out over the last two years.
00:01:46
Speaker
Now, I have had to go through and dismantle my beautiful studio shed. I've maintained this little area here, but I'm now going through the process of planning where to next and how to approach it.
00:02:02
Speaker
And that's what made me want to share the insights that I have gathered through this process. of reassessing everything. but you know, at 50, I did not expect to be single and actually have my youngest son who is turning 18 to become completely independent and for me to become independent again as well.
00:02:22
Speaker
It has been quite a journey actually processing that. And the way that I have been working through the decisions on what to hold on to, what to let go of,
00:02:34
Speaker
where to go next and how to actually approach that has been a really valuable experience. I also had my father pass away only a couple of months ago and I'm executor of his estate so there has been a lot that I have learned through that process as well which is why I wanted to talk about this idea that our plans need to be fluid not fixed because life sometimes has other ideas that we ourselves could not have planned for ourselves.
00:03:05
Speaker
And that could be even more magical than what we thought we were going to be doing at this particular time in our life's journey.

Core Values and Decision-Making

00:03:12
Speaker
And the first point that I want to bring up here is that if we know our core values, what it is,
00:03:18
Speaker
that we treasure, that we think is most important to sustain and maintain in our lives, it makes it easy to make decisions around that.
00:03:29
Speaker
So what are your core values? Do you actually value family, friends, community, beauty, uniqueness, connection? For me, it is actually connection to self, connection to others, connection to wild nature.
00:03:45
Speaker
which is a part of what I've been using to make my decisions for this next phase of my journey. Now, being accessible to my children is extremely important for me. It's one of my core values is being a mother who is there for her children.
00:04:00
Speaker
Now, they're both young adults. They don't need me on a daily basis, but they still need me to be someone that they can communicate with, share their challenges with, someone that can help them unpack what it is they're processing.
00:04:15
Speaker
So sustaining my own health and wellbeing is important for me as well as being physically accessible. That said, with my father recently passing away and his place being 16 hours drive away from here, I will be temporarily moving up to his place to prepare that for sale.
00:04:34
Speaker
And that is not going to be near where my children are. And that was a really hard decision to make, but it is only short term. And I also thought, you my children are nearly 18 and the oldest is 23.
00:04:48
Speaker
they could end up anywhere across the globe. So I really had to assess how much I am going to stick to my fixed plan of being only two and a half, three hours drive away from them, which is the next stop.
00:05:03
Speaker
I will move back down here to the South Coast and I will be physically accessible to them. That is important to me. I've had lots of people say, my children live so far away from me, I don't see them frequently at all.
00:05:16
Speaker
And that's fine. If my children choose to do that, I am happy for them to do that. And I will travel to them, which again is why one of my important values that I hold onto is health and wellbeing, because I want to to be able to travel and meet them wherever they are.
00:05:33
Speaker
So that is the first point, understanding your core values makes it easy to make plans that are fluid, not fixed, but just knowing that your non-negotiables are essential.
00:05:46
Speaker
They are the things that help it ease that help you make discerning decisions, not rash decisions based on the moment, but actually touching base with our core values, what's essential to us and what's non-negotiable.

Resourcefulness in Transitions

00:06:00
Speaker
Now, the second point I want to touch on is resourcefulness. If you are a resourceful person, then you are someone who does not need to hold on to absolutely everything.
00:06:13
Speaker
That is something I had to come to terms with of myself. I've always been resourceful. I've always seen the potential in things that others may not see the potential in. I love old furniture. I have vintage suitcases.
00:06:26
Speaker
I collect items that have this magical essence. And it's not always about it being old. Some of it is about it being handmade as well. And so when it came to deciding what to hold on to and what to let go of, a part of what made that process easy was the fact that I know I am resourceful.
00:06:45
Speaker
And everything is replaceable. But some things that are meaningful to me, I will not let go of. I will put into a storage unit and let that sit there for a few months while I go up to Queensland, take care of my father's estate and then move back down into a more permanent residence.
00:07:03
Speaker
But actually connecting back to that element of myself with that I am resourceful, I do not need to live in a feeling of lack or scarcity or fear that if I let go of things, I will never be able to replace them because I will.
00:07:19
Speaker
Everything is replaceable. So there's no need to really hold on to absolutely everything. But knowing my core values and knowing what's essential to me has made it easier to decide on what it is I will hold onto and put into storage and what it is I will let go of. But in order to come to that conclusion, I really had to look back, look back for evidence of times that I have had what I thought was an impossible problem to solve, that I have found a solution to.
00:07:48
Speaker
And that's not just about tangible items, acquiring material items to support my living, but actual problem solving, that solution-oriented thinking.
00:07:59
Speaker
When you look back and you think of those times that you had a challenge, that you did not think was going to be solvable. And then you realise you found a way to make that possible.
00:08:10
Speaker
Starting a business is a good example of that. Starting businesses from the ground up, creating something that didn't exist before has actually brought me back to that realisation that my resourcefulness also leads to solution-oriented thinking.
00:08:27
Speaker
And so there is never going to be a time when I won't be able to work something out And if I can't, I will seek out help from others to actually unpack a solution.
00:08:39
Speaker
Approaching it this way takes us out of that mindset that we need to clutch onto our plan because I, at 50, was expecting to have the outcome of the place that I'm living in now was a forever home.
00:08:55
Speaker
That was the intention when we bought this place, to create a home that we would live in for the rest of our lives. But at 50, that has not become my reality. And that's okay.
00:09:05
Speaker
My resourcefulness says i can actually course correct, redirect, realign, look back at what it is that I truly value as an individual and then head down a new path that aligns with that, that is actually based on my core values.

Finding Joy in Flexibility

00:09:24
Speaker
And utilising my resourceful skills to find solutions to the problems that I thought might have been impossible to resolve, but they're never impossible to resolve. They just might take a different approach to what the plan was, which is why being
00:09:39
Speaker
fluid in our plans rather than fixed means that we get to move through our days with more ease and joy and pleasure, not saying nothing will ever be hard again, but we can just see the magic in what's unfolding. We can see that while it wasn't in my plan to have this become my reality at this age and stage, there are some really magical elements that have come out of this that I would not have experienced otherwise.
00:10:06
Speaker
that I could not have planned for.

Mindfulness Through Handcrafting

00:10:08
Speaker
So as a part of me planning for this next phase of my journey and looking at my core values and what's essential for me, I have reconnected back to just how important it is for me to be able to handcraft.
00:10:24
Speaker
Initially, when I first became a single mum three and a half years ago, i and decided to close my commercial space, I actually thought I would become a digital nomad. I would move forward in life just earning my income,
00:10:37
Speaker
on the road, maybe not having a fixed address. And then I realized that I could not just become a content creator only, I still needed to be able to work with my hands. Now, a part of this process of going from what I thought my life would look like to a whole new reality, I have actually found working with my hands as a medicinal practice, as a really powerful, mindful practice, which I've always known.
00:11:05
Speaker
But I didn't realize just how much I needed it as a part of my processing. And on top of that, I am constantly being asked about the products that I make.
00:11:16
Speaker
You know, i have said in previous episodes that I'm a walking billboard and it's not because I am out there trying to promote my wares, but it's just that the handcrafted goods that I make actually align with my values and they are a part of my everyday living experience.
00:11:33
Speaker
That is what I handcraft for, to actually contribute to that magical everyday living experience, not just for myself, but for others. And in my travels to and from Brisbane over the last couple of months, I have been stopped numerous times by a variety of different people asking me about something I'm wearing, something I'm using. And more often than not, it is something that I have handcrafted.
00:11:58
Speaker
So in the planning for what I will do going forward, I have now decided it is really important that I will eventually set up another permanent studio space to work from.
00:12:09
Speaker
But in the meantime, I need to practice working in a mobile way. So I've been experimenting with that. I think it was for my artisanal living playlist that I created a video where I shared how I've been working with copper wire and feathers and leather and making things on a small scale, making jewellery that also have magical and meaningful elements to it, not just for the sake of accessories, but as a part of me processing what I am going through, as well as realigning with what I'm about and as tangible items to bring me back into that essence.
00:12:46
Speaker
My inner essence being my outer expression, which is also what I wish for my customers to experience, that when they are wearing the items that I create, that their inner essence is a part of their outer expression.
00:12:59
Speaker
And so this whole idea of creating a mobile workshop has become really essential. So while I'm in transition, I can continue to make and create and sell my handcrafted wares so that other people can enjoy the magic that has been created through this process.
00:13:16
Speaker
Because even though this last three and a half years has been extremely challenging, I have created some beautiful items that have come through my processing, that I really want others to be able to connect with the magic within them as well.
00:13:31
Speaker
So once I have then found a more permanent residence, I will set up a um a permanent workshop. And a part of the what I will store that I will not actually move on or let go of, most of that has to do with my workshop and integrating a my handcrafting workshop with my living space.
00:13:53
Speaker
So that comes back to the core values, knowing my core values and what it is that i think is essential for me to feel like I am living my most aligned self.
00:14:06
Speaker
And so I can let go of the dining table and the dining chairs, but letting go of my work benches and my sewing machines and even my vintage suitcases that I store my materials in and travel to trade with with my finished products,
00:14:21
Speaker
They are so things that I will not move on. Which brings me back to the plan being fluid rather than fixed and how in your life there may be things that you thought you would have worked out in a certain way that haven't.

Empowerment Through Value Alignment

00:14:38
Speaker
And if you can go back to your core values, your own um resourcefulness or your own solution-oriented thinking and approach and look at those things as,
00:14:50
Speaker
a way of working through the next phase of your journey and creating a plan for yourself that aligns with those elements and helps you actually move forward in a more empowered state rather than being disempowered because of the disappointment of plans not working out exactly as you intended.
00:15:11
Speaker
Because life sometimes brings about other experiences that we could not have planned for ourselves that we would not have imagined could be more magical than the plan we had created for ourselves.
00:15:24
Speaker
One thing that has come up regularly when talking to people in my circle of influence is just how how I have managed this transition in a way that I've maintained my centre, maintained alignment with my values and and also come back to being grounded and centred rather than being completely disoriented and and disillusioned by this change that has taken place. And I'm not saying I haven't had times of absolute meltdown and felt like I just am really sad or disappointed with what has transpired.
00:15:59
Speaker
But I have been able to reconnect to the value in the lessons that have been learned and the realignment with the direction that I'm heading next. And one of the things that has come up regularly with my coaching clients is that they feel more enthusiastic about their business, about their project, about their objective going forward.
00:16:21
Speaker
They feel more clarity about what it is that they want to focus on for themselves. When in a session we focus on their core values, realigning with their inner essence and allowing that to be their outer expression, sometimes that means actually actually reassessing the direction of their business or even the focus of their business.
00:16:44
Speaker
So if you feel like you could do with support right now in your own strategy of moving forward and creating a plan, a plan that is fluid, not fixed,
00:16:55
Speaker
allowing for those pivots and those realignments as they need come about. I've actually opened up space for strategy sessions where we've been actually working through the challenge that you are wanting to focus on and finding a way to put together a strategy and to realign with clarity what it is that you are about and where you wish to where you wish to direct your energy and move forward towards.

Guidance and Strategy for Fluid Planning

00:17:23
Speaker
If you feel like that is something that could support you right now, then in the show notes, you will find a link to how to book for one of these strategy sessions. They're one-off sessions. You don't need to commit to a full three-month container, but it could be just what you need to find that little pivot that's going to help you realign with your North Star.
00:17:43
Speaker
The other thing that I want to bring to your attention is Empowered Dressing Guidebook, which is something that I wrote a couple of years ago. Dressing for empowerment is something that I have supported many customers through in my commercial space throughout that six years that I had that open. And even after closing it over the last two years, I have customers coming back to buy garments because they feel so empowered in the garments that they're wearing.
00:18:10
Speaker
Now, this guidebook is not about me selling you my product in terms of what I make. It is about you understanding what is supportive to you. It takes you back to curating a wardrobe that supports you in moving through your days effortlessly.
00:18:25
Speaker
Now, I can say for certain that this has been something that has been supportive for me over the last 15 years because that's when I really started to look at what it is that I put into my wardrobe that supports my well-being not just makes me feel beautiful, but actually moves through my days more effortlessly with ease and grace so I can get on and do what I'm here to do to serve the collective without being concerned about whether or not I'm on trend.
00:18:53
Speaker
That is what my customers have benefited from, the types of designs that I have created. that help them feel like who they are here to be is more important than what they're wearing and whether or not it is the current trend. So this Empower Dressing Guidebook, it takes you through stories that I share of my own journey as well as elements to consider in your garments that will support your health and well-being through the frequency of fibre and the natural elements and how they are supportive to you.
00:19:24
Speaker
As well as going through your wardrobe and curating that and culling it back down to the essentials, that is something that I am now going back through my wardrobe and moving on items that I don't need to take with me as I travel over the next few months and things that I don't need to pay for storage and hold on to that are actually no longer supportive in the current lifestyle that I live.
00:19:50
Speaker
And so that's why I wanted to bring the attention to this guidebook because I think it could be very supportive to you if this is something you need to do right now is to go back through your wardrobe and see whether or not some of those items could just be moved on because they could be supportive to somebody else and where they're at in their journey. So you'll find a link to that in the show

Conclusion: Planning to Thrive, Not Survive

00:20:11
Speaker
notes too.
00:20:11
Speaker
So if you found the insights that I shared to in today's episode, be sure to like, subscribe, share the episode with someone that you think could benefit from hearing this message. Planning for thriving rather than merely surviving. That's what this is all about.
00:20:27
Speaker
It's planning what it is that we need to thrive, not just get by, not just survive, but to truly thrive. It's like a plant. When we put a plant in an environment that supports its thriving, it flourishes.
00:20:42
Speaker
But we can't put a plant somewhere where it will not thrive and expect that just us giving it the attention and weeding it and watering it is going to make it thrive if that environment is not supportive to it.
00:20:54
Speaker
But connecting to what it is that actually supports our thriving and understanding that and then fostering that in our environment and even our wardrobes the things that we layer onto our vehicle that houses our soul.
00:21:09
Speaker
That's what all of this is about. It's about helping us understand that we get to choose what it is that supports us in thriving rather than merely surviving. So until next episode, take some time to really connect back to your own core values, what it is that supports your thriving, and go out there and enjoy your days with more ease and grace and effortless flow.