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00:00:01
Shadow Patterns: How could they be affecting you?
2 Playsin 7 hours
In this episode, I venture into the intriguing world of shadow patterns, uncovering how these subconscious influences can subtly shape our lives. I delve into practical methods and everyday practices that can help listeners identify and transform these patterns, leading to greater self-awareness and personal growth.
WHY LISTEN?
This episode is perfect for anyone seeking to break free from repetitive life challenges and foster a deeper understanding of themselves. Whether you're interested in personal growth, professional development, or simply curious about the workings of the subconscious, this episode provides valuable insights and tools to support your journey. Tune in now!
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Transcript
Introduction to Shadow Patterns and Work
00:00:00
Speaker
So you keep hearing these phrases about shadow patterns, shadow work. Things in your life seem to be on rinse and repeat when it comes to challenges that you are faced with. And you're now wondering if this thing called a shadow pattern may have something to do with it.
00:00:14
Speaker
And while you keep hearing you should do shadow work to move through unconscious blocks, you're not really sure you're up to some deep esoteric approach, a medicine journey, or start taking psychedelics.
00:00:26
Speaker
But what if I could tell you that there's a simple entry into recognizing your shadow patterns without even having to go into this deep dive into the woo-woo. You may at some stage want to try one of these approaches, but for now, let's look at what you can do working with what you have available to you to start connecting with your subconscious behaviors and patterns.
Understanding 'As Within, So Without'
00:00:48
Speaker
You may have heard the phrase as within, so without, as above, so below. This simple phrase is a good place to start in recognizing what is taking place around you.
00:00:59
Speaker
Any chaos, repeat challenges or blockages is connected to what is going on within you internally. Now, you might be thinking the world does not revolve around me. There are 8 billion people on the planet and I cannot be responsible for all this chaos.
00:01:15
Speaker
And you're right. You're not responsible for all of it. But you do have a part to play in the chaos that exists in your little pocket of the planet. Within your personal world, your family dynamics, friend circle, workplace, community and the people in your field are also contributors. It's not all on you but we tend to attract people and situations in our field.
00:01:39
Speaker
That helps us recognize and move through shadow patterns. If you are willing to illuminate, understand and do the work to transmute them, this is more than possible.
00:01:49
Speaker
Now in this episode, I am going to share with you some of the experiences that I have had personally that relate to this.
Personal Experiences and Ordinary Methods
00:01:57
Speaker
and ways I have found helpful in processing shadow patterns, using the most ordinary, working with everyday living practices that have not been facilitated by plant medicine, while use breath work and meditation to support me in releasing emotional blocks.
00:02:13
Speaker
This is not going to be my focus in this episode. It's going to be even simpler than that. Do you desire to live a life that supports you in thriving? A life based on understanding your unique design and engaging more in your passions?
00:02:28
Speaker
I'm Marie Nicole and I am devoted to combining beauty, uniqueness and connection in everyday living experiences. As a creative professional and Dharma coach, I help people connect to the truth of who they are and facilitate them in embodying their uniqueness.
00:02:44
Speaker
I am also a mother of two precious young men and with children in tow have established and run unique businesses, embraced opportunities that have contributed to my creative career while creating magical memories and living my life by design too.
00:03:00
Speaker
It's my hope that this podcast inspires you to live your life on your terms and earn your income through being uniquely you. Whether that's working for yourself or someone else, the key here is living a life in alignment with your unique design.
00:03:16
Speaker
After all, it's our unique thread that we each contribute to the collective tapestry that creates the whole.
00:03:29
Speaker
I also want to make it clear that I do believe that our journey through this lifetime is a process of continuing to grow and expand.
Creative Expression and Personal Transformation
00:03:37
Speaker
So I don't believe that overcoming our shadow patterns is a once and done affair.
00:03:43
Speaker
Not that I think we need to stay fixed and focused on one thing for an entire life, but recognizing that there are layers to this. And this can take several attempts to completely move through and transmute the pattern of behavior.
00:03:57
Speaker
In the same way that it took several attempts for you to learn to crawl, walk, and then run, And now you do it without much thought or even effort. But if you decided you wanted to start running marathons, you would need to revisit some of the foundational elements of running and what would support you in taking running to that next level.
00:04:18
Speaker
So for me personally, I have moved through many patterns of behavior that I felt like I reached my peak. And then something else came along that highlighted a way in which I could elevate to a new level in an area and then have had to take a few steps back and revisit foundational elements in order to propel me to that next level.
00:04:40
Speaker
As I move through the final stages of my transition from being married of 24 years and standing on my own two feet, I have had to revisit numerous shadow patterns. Recently, I did a meditation on releasing unconscious blocks.
00:04:55
Speaker
And during the meditation, I had the final elements of a design of these earrings that I'm wearing today that came through. Now, for those just listening to the audio version, I'll describe them.
00:05:06
Speaker
They are handcrafted with copper wire which creates the outline of a crescent moon and then hanging behind the moon are two strands of kangaroo leather. At the end of one of the strands is a piece of citrine crystal wrapped in copper wire and this is then connected to the kangaroo leather strand with fine copper wire binding.
00:05:29
Speaker
Now the other strand also at the end of it has a owl feather which is bound into place again with fine copper wire. I had previously made a necklace pendant with a crescent moon and feather and wanted to make a pair of earrings similar but not exactly the same way. The day before I had crafted the moon crescent shapes but I wasn't quite sure yet how to make it slightly different to the necklace pendant because I did not want to make this to match the necklace.
00:05:59
Speaker
I wanted it to be what I wore instead of wearing the necklace. In my Empower Dressing guidebook, I talk about how the jewellery I wear is either medicinal or magical. I don't wear something just because I like it. It usually has some deeper meaning to it and it keeps me connected to my truth and the direction I am heading in and what I am embodying.
00:06:21
Speaker
Now, if you would like a copy of the Empower Dressing guidebook, you can buy it for yourself as an e-book for just 11 Australian dollars and you'll find a link for that in the show notes. There's so much more in this book than just insights and inspiration relating to jewellery. It goes into the frequency of fibre and the ways in which what we wear can be supportive to our health and wellbeing too.
00:06:41
Speaker
But back to the crafting of these earrings. The added element of the citrine crystal was significant for what I'm currently moving through as the whole concept of this design is based around grounding cosmic downloads in a way that enhances my life.
00:06:58
Speaker
and also allows me to see the shadow patterns and behaviours being illuminated, and to do my part in taking steps forward that will lead me towards creating a life by design for myself that supports my thriving and enables me to contribute back to the collective without sacrificing my own needs.
00:07:19
Speaker
Now, that in itself might sound like a profound insight that could lead to the results I desired, but that was just the brief. The process of creating the earrings and integrating the insights that I learned through the meditation was where the real process of transformation took place.
00:07:38
Speaker
At first, I thought I would not be able to create these earrings until I had all the right materials and tools available to me. And so I set about looking for what I had within my readily available resources to start making them.
00:07:52
Speaker
Another aspect of this experience that may be useful to know is that this was on the weekend of the full moon and while my plan that weekend was to keep working on work required to prepare our property to list and sell, it was really hot weather and I was feeling rather run down.
00:08:10
Speaker
Now as a single mum with a so a son who is dependent on me to drive him to and from work and most of his commitments, living in a rural location without public transport, and I really can't afford to be sick, for his sake as well as my own, so I opted to not push through and instead to pull back.
Overcoming Crafting Challenges
00:08:29
Speaker
And so in the heat of the day, i opted to retreat inside and handcraft these earrings that I had downloaded the design of through this meditation that morning, well, the finishing of the design.
00:08:41
Speaker
So I was looking around for the materials and tools to work with, and I found myself hitting numerous obstacles. And it was fascinating to observe my response to these obstacles.
00:08:52
Speaker
At first I thought the only solution was to drill a hole in the citrine and thread the copper wire through it and then connect that to the leather lacing by binding the wire around the strand.
00:09:04
Speaker
However, i have never successfully drilled rock or crystal in the past and I had not revisited this to resolve this challenge. So I did some research on YouTube and the first video showed me how to do it with a Dremel and water.
00:09:20
Speaker
This process looked really easy. It looked achievable. But the problem was I didn't have a Dremel. And so I thought it would be worthwhile buying one, especially if I was going to work with crystals more in the future.
00:09:33
Speaker
But that did not help me resolve the challenge in that moment. So I went on to research if there was a way to use a regular drill. And the next vi video was very informative, but it recommended using a drill press.
00:09:47
Speaker
And, you know, all the reasons that was better than even a Dremel. So again, I decided that perhaps I should move on to something else and leave creating these earrings until I had the correct tools to support me in achieving my goal.
00:10:01
Speaker
And buying a drill press wasn't really in my... um in my plan because I'm looking to reduce my workshop size when I move out of here, not to increase it with the need for a dual press. So are you seeing a pattern here?
00:10:16
Speaker
A pattern of thinking that was holding me back from reaching my goal? So I set the earrings aside and I went on to do something else. But I couldn't let go of the idea that this was something I needed to do that day.
00:10:31
Speaker
And I had no idea why. i did not need the earrings. I have plenty of beautifully crafted pieces of jewellery that express the essence of who I am. And this is not about the finished product. This was about the process.
00:10:44
Speaker
So I decided that maybe i should go down to the crystal shop and buy a piece of a couple of pieces of citrine that were pre-drilled. if they had that.
00:10:56
Speaker
And the Crystal shop is 45 minutes away on the northern edge of Canberra, so I thought I should check what time they're open till on a Sunday, so I don't get all the way down there and discover that, you know, I can't even get Crystal.
00:11:09
Speaker
Now, I don't even usually go to Canberra unless I have several things I need to do or source. that I cannot get in my nearby town of Yass. So when I started to wonder if this was really that important, that I needed to drive 45 minutes to find a couple of pieces of crystal that were pre-drilled, and did I really need to make those earrings these earrings that day?
00:11:31
Speaker
And so I decided that I would set myself a constraint, that I would do this project only using what was available to me here at home.
Personal Growth and Social Sharing
00:11:43
Speaker
And so then I started exploring other options for attaching the crystal to the leather lacing, which led me to explore ways to wrap it in a way with the wire that was still elegant and simple. I didn't want a complicated configuration wrapped around my crystal.
00:11:59
Speaker
I wanted the crystal to be visible. it wasn't about the wrapping. It was just I needed it attached to the leather. Now, the entire process of crafting these earrings, I was observing and recognizing shadow patterns and these patterns of behavior that were potentially holding me back in other areas of life, in truly realizing my dreams of creating my life by design and standing on my own two feet after years of working with the safety net of someone else being there to support me when I could not complete something.
00:12:31
Speaker
Even having someone else to bounce ideas off makes a huge difference. Now, I have been self-employed most of my adult life and I am pretty good at coaching myself through challenging situations.
00:12:43
Speaker
seeing the glass half full and engaging in solution-oriented thinking. But I too have shadow patterns that I need to work through continually and learning to be self-reliant in my decision-making is something I have really had to refine the art of over the last three years.
00:13:02
Speaker
Also knowing when I cannot resolve something without the support or guidance of someone else. Even coaches benefit from working with coaches. Even a lone wolf is connected to a pack and returns to the pack to collaborate when it's required.
00:13:18
Speaker
So I am not here trying to practice not needing anyone else in my life. I do need others too, which is why for this activity I kept referring back to YouTube videos.
00:13:30
Speaker
Because YouTube has got me through so many things over the last three years that I could not resolve efficiently enough. and could not get someone here to physically help me with in time for when it was required.
00:13:43
Speaker
This was not an urgent thing. It was not like something about safety or, you know, a need to attend to immediately, but it was actually internally, I could feel it was something I needed to complete on that day to help me in other areas of my life that I may be holding myself back that I'm not seeing.
00:14:05
Speaker
So I did end up completing the earrings on that day. As you can see, I'm wearing them now. But I did not sacrifice the essence of the design in order to complete the task.
00:14:16
Speaker
I still had a standard I had set for myself. But the process of working through these challenges was really where the learning took place, which is no different to other areas of life and business.
00:14:27
Speaker
After completing these earrings, I took photos and a video and I shared a clip on Instagram saying, and in the Facebook group of a course I am taking part in at the moment, which is called the Conscious Business Accelerator with Aaron Doherty and Victor C. Odo. Now, it was during one of the meditations that they guided us through that the final elements of the design of this um these earrings came through.
00:14:52
Speaker
Anyhow, I was sharing my breakthrough with the group and with my Instagram followers. And it was interesting to see the difference in the Facebook group and the Instagram followers.
00:15:04
Speaker
In the Facebook group, I had other participants say how seeing my clip inspired them to process their shadow patterns and through art too and yet in my Instagram feed there was more of a focus on the result, the earrings themselves and there was even someone who reached out to me respectfully to correct me on the identification of the bird informing me that the tawny frogmouth was in fact not an owl which is a common mistake people make.
00:15:32
Speaker
Now I had referred to my Australian bird guidebook to identify the bird before sharing that information But I did not at the time dive deeper into the description of the bird and perhaps, and I still haven't to be honest, and perhaps in there it actually does say that they're often mistaken for owl but they're not. But just in the preliminary um information it actually referred to it as an owl.
00:15:58
Speaker
So the reason I share this aspect is to bring to light the fact of who we spend time with and what their focus is can also influence our journey and our patterns of behavior.
00:16:11
Speaker
At first I created the clip specifically for Instagram as I was wanting to inspire my followers on that feed to see that crafting has power in helping us heal and transform and that it is a great way to observe our patterns of thought and behavior.
00:16:28
Speaker
But then I decided to share the clip in the Facebook group too, even though I hesitated as it was not a part of the homework that was set in the course. But the number of responses that I received in that group was so uplifting. The fact that many were inspired to take part in their own version of processing in their chosen craft.
00:16:50
Speaker
Then sharing the results in the comments. This opened up a beautiful series of supportive conversations amongst a small group of participants within that Facebook group which has 30,000 people in it.
00:17:02
Speaker
And yet, in my little Instagram account of 1,500, I only had a few people share that they loved the design and one person who DM'd me to help correct me on the error of my bird identification.
00:17:16
Speaker
Admittedly, i am not a big user of Facebook, but I have always found Facebook groups to be a very different experience to the general platform of Facebook. While there's also a lot of undesirable activities that can take place in those groups, and while there have been people who have been um outright rude in the way they've expressed themselves in that group, and especially towards the people who host the group, and the hosts have placed a lot of energy and resources in keeping that a safe space to express ourselves.
00:17:47
Speaker
But that aside, the fact that the container is set for a group of people to come together and focus on their personal journey of growth and expansion in the online business changes the dynamic of that interaction.
Coaching and Business Alignment
00:18:00
Speaker
So a part of my learning in business going forward will be how to foster that better within my public platform networks as well. Even saying that, I know I can't control what others do in the platform and I'm not at all placing judgment on the person who reached out to inform me of the misidentification of the bird.
00:18:20
Speaker
What I find interesting is that I have met this person in person and do know them personally and actually don't ever recall them commenting or even liking a post of mine in the three years that I've known them.
00:18:35
Speaker
But I wonder why that is and what it is about them and me and the way our shadow patterns are playing out and what our connection is reflecting to each other.
00:18:46
Speaker
So that's what I want to unpack a little bit more. But this brings me back to an earlier statement and that is We attract into our field a representation of what is going on inside of us and areas we ourselves would benefit from digging a little deeper into our own shadow patterns of behavior.
00:19:04
Speaker
This speaks to when we are triggered by what others say or do and what that is saying about our own patterns of behavior or thoughts or feelings or internal dialogue, which is a big part of shadow work.
00:19:17
Speaker
Now, if you feel like you don't have a safe space to work through your challenges of realizing your goals and expressing yourself freely and embodying the person you wish to become, then that is where I can help you with my embodiment coaching service.
00:19:33
Speaker
During our three-month container together, we dive deep into the blocks that you are experiencing and ways to move through them and realize your dreams and step out being the truth of who you are one step at a time.
00:19:47
Speaker
Now, if you would like to explore this option, reach out for a connection call and you'll find a link for that in the show notes. Yesterday, I was in a coaching session with a gentleman who is fairly new in business. He's very experienced in his craft as a builder and carpenter, but only new to running his own business.
00:20:05
Speaker
We were working together in the Digital Solutions Program, which is a government-funded program that I coach through, with a specific focus on business owners and their digital presence. Now, he was saying that once he starts getting enough work through consistently, he would really like to focus on sharing the jobs he enjoys doing the most and gave details of what those jobs are, which focused on working with heritage buildings, um using sustainable materials and construction methods for their extensions that enhance the existing building and add to it in a way that is complementary and
00:20:41
Speaker
but also stands the test of time. He was not really wanting to pump out the quick black and white builds, suburban style houses and complexes you often see in the newer states.
00:20:53
Speaker
And the fact that he was planning to wait until he had the constant work coming through before sharing what he is truly passionate about speaks to a shadow pattern of waiting for permission to do what truly aligns with your truth once you've earned the right to choose.
00:21:11
Speaker
Now, I was not coaching him in embodiment. Our focus was on his digital presence and social media content in that particular part of the conversation. So I asked him why he would have to wait until he had consistent work before he started talking about what he was truly passionate about doing.
00:21:30
Speaker
And wouldn't it serve him better to speak about what he's passionate about doing and attract those clients into his field? This part of the conversation came about after we had discussed all the work he had been doing that pays the bills but doesn't necessarily align with his values, ethos and clientele he desired to work with based on their values.
00:21:53
Speaker
I did bring to his awareness that speaking to them specifically in his messaging is not excluding others and he could still attract clients who want work that sits on either side of that But if he tried to speak to everyone, he'd actually miss attracting those that are truly passionate about what he is passionate about.
00:22:16
Speaker
And they may not even be aware that he could meet their specific needs, being so general in his messaging. I gave him the example of when I had my commercial space, which included a retail store, and how the items I sold there were geared towards women,
00:22:33
Speaker
My messaging through my social media feeds was really speaking to a specific avatar of a certain age bracket with a certain set of credentials and life circumstances. But that did not mean I only attracted that person into my store.
00:22:48
Speaker
I had many repeat customers who were men, who bought gifts for the women in their lives, but also bought items for themselves based on their needs.
00:22:59
Speaker
I made sure I kept a stock of men's belts, phone pouches, pocket knife pouches, etc. for this very reason. I also had many men order custom crafted items like watch bands, like my watch cuff, and bullet pouches for hunting, leather butcher's aprons, knife rolls, tobacco pouches, fountain pen scrolls,
00:23:22
Speaker
Just to name a few. Now, I was not promoting to them, but I was attracting them in and enjoyed the challenge of handcrafting items in my style that served their needs.
00:23:35
Speaker
So if we allow our patterns of thought to guide us to waiting for permission to share our unique skill set ah and what we truly value, people won't even know that it is unique to us if we water down our message to try and speak to the masses.
00:23:52
Speaker
Me wearing my handcrafted kangaroo fur vest, phone pouch, watch cuff, as well as my natural fiber garments made to curate a wardrobe that I could build over the years and so forth was not a promotional hack.
00:24:07
Speaker
It was me stepping into my truth, sharing my values behind what I handcrafted and why and attracted people in who are aligned with that messaging. Transitioning from having that commercial space to connecting with clients and customers through my online space predominantly has made me revisit my shadow patterns of thought and behavior that are creating blocks in reaching that next level of my journey.
00:24:34
Speaker
And speaking with this builder yesterday brought that back to the forefront of my mind. We also discussed how important the messaging is on his work truck that was connecting him with his ideal client.
00:24:46
Speaker
Me physically being seen walking around in my handcrafted wares has sparked numerous conversations with strangers about what I am wearing. I had often been shy about expressing that I actually make these items myself when people were complimenting me on them.
00:25:04
Speaker
And that was something I really had to overcome. That pattern of thought that I don't want to come across as trying to sell my creations to them But then having to remind myself constantly that they are the ones who opened up the conversation with me. I'm not standing there on the street shoving flyers into their hands of people passing by that are not interested.
00:25:26
Speaker
So when someone asks me about my kangaroo fur vest, I really had to learn not to shy away from saying that I make and sell them. And if i want if they want one for themselves, then they would inquire further, which has happened and translated into a sale.
00:25:44
Speaker
So for you, this might be something completely different. You might have people asking you about the way your written expression is so eloquent and you have not yet mustered up the courage to admit that you are a poet and you'd really like to write poetry for a living.
00:26:01
Speaker
Whatever the case may be, the invitation here is to recognize your shadow patterns of thoughts and behaviors and those automatic responses that you're not consciously aware of.
00:26:13
Speaker
That once you start training yourself to recognize, you may see that this is something that is actually holding you back from stepping into your power and living out your truth.
00:26:25
Speaker
So taking this back to the beginning of consciously engaging in an act that takes you through the process of problem solving and observing your automatic responses as you meet challenges or hurdles, the process of self-development starts with self-awareness.
00:26:43
Speaker
So if you can start to consciously bring awareness to your unconscious behaviors and thoughts, you can then start the process of transmuting those behaviors. Now, as
Crafting for Self-Awareness and Community Sharing
00:26:53
Speaker
I said earlier, there are many ways of doing this. And what I wanted to share with you in this episode is based on going back to the basics of bringing our awareness to these things first in our everyday living activities that at a foundational level help us recognize our shadow patterns.
00:27:11
Speaker
Journaling as I have expressed many times before, is a really powerful tool. And now you can also experiment with crafting as a method of processing your shadow patterns.
00:27:22
Speaker
And if you do, be sure to reach out and share what you created. And if you have a social media presence, share the outcome of your crafting journey and tag me into it and let me know what you learned through the process.
00:27:36
Speaker
You can find my Instagram and Facebook handles in the show notes and I'd love to see what you create. If you don't have a social media presence, then simply leave a comment on YouTube under this episode or leave a review in Apple Podcasts or Spotify sharing your insights.
00:27:52
Speaker
I would really love to hear about them and celebrate you in your willingness to illuminate your shadow pattern and use your skills as a way of processing it. So until next week, be sure to not only observe the behaviours that may be holding you back, but also attributes that you have that help carry you forward, your willingness to overcome challenges and keep moving forward despite these, and give yourself credit for it.
00:28:21
Speaker
So happy crafting and be sure to share what you learn and the results of your efforts. So thank you for listening all the way to the end of this episode. I hope that it provided you with insights and inspiration that you need right now on your quest of fostering thriving.
00:28:39
Speaker
Please do pass this episode on to someone you think would get value out of it too. And I'd really appreciate if you leave a review for this podcast on Apple or Spotify or a comment on YouTube. I'd love to hear any insights and or inspirations this activated in you.
00:28:56
Speaker
and look forward to drumming, dancing or soaring alongside of you.