Become a Creator today!Start creating today - Share your story with the world!
Start for free
00:00:00
00:00:01
#137: Nicole Quigley: The real reason you keep binge eating and what to do instead
881 Plays21 days ago
If you're tired of starting over every Monday, caught in the guilt cycle of binge eating, or overwhelmed by the ups and downs of dieting - this episode is for you. I’m joined by Nicole Quigley, a fat loss coach and the founder of Diet Starts Monday, who’s on a mission to help women ditch diet culture and embrace lasting, healthy habits with compassion, not restriction.
We chat about emotional eating, the root causes of food guilt, and why willpower alone isn’t the answer. Nicole opens up about her personal journey through yo-yo dieting and shares how she reframed her mindset to support sustainable fat loss. You’ll walk away with practical strategies to break free from all-or-nothing thinking, manage emotional triggers, and create a healthier relationship with food - one that actually lasts.
EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS:
[0:30] - Meet Nicole Quigley, fat loss coach and founder of Diet Starts Monday
[1:29] - Why guilt and punishment don’t lead to sustainable fat loss
[2:39] - Nicole’s personal journey through disordered eating and body image struggles
[7:27] - Simple strategies to break the binge-restrict cycle
[13:48] - The emotional side of eating: what triggers it and how to manage it
[30:24] - Creating space between emotions and reactions to build better habits
[35:55] - How perfectionism sabotages progress - and what to do instead
[40:43] - Reflecting on your habits to create long-term lifestyle change
[50:16] - Why structure can actually create more freedom in how you eat
Links & Resources:
- Connect with me on Instagram here
- Connect with Nicole on Instagram here
- Learn more about KHH coaching here
If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with friends who might benefit. For more health and fitness tips, follow me on Instagram and TikTok @katehamiltonhealth.
Music b LiQWYD Free download: hypeddit.com/link/xxtopb [http://hypeddit.com/link/xxtopb] Promoted by FreeMusicPromo [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCbycji-eySnM3WD8mbxPUSQ] / @freemusicpromo
Recommended
Transcript
Introduction to Nicole Quigley & 'Diet Starts Monday'
00:00:09
Speaker
Hello, everyone, and welcome back to another episode of the Kate Hamilton Health Podcast. So today's episode is absolutely fantastic. I love when this happens, when I have a conversation with someone and it just ends up being pure goal And this is exactly what this episode is like with Nicole Quigley.
00:00:30
Speaker
So Nicole is a fat loss coach and founder of Diet Starts Monday, a brand and coaching platform dedicated to helping women lose weight without losing their minds. Her message is bold, honest and refreshingly realistic.
00:00:44
Speaker
Sustainable fat loss doesn't come from guilt, punishment or endless restarts on a Monday. It comes from mindset, consistency and compassion. Nicole works with women who are exhausted from yo-yo dieting, food guilt and chasing quick fixes.
00:00:58
Speaker
She helps them break free from the all or nothing cycle, develop habits that can actually stick and build confidence around food, training and body image. With her no BS high support coaching style, she brings a mix of tough love and genuine empathy to every conversation.
Struggles with Body Image and Dieting
00:01:16
Speaker
After experiencing her own struggles with body image and restriction, Nicole created Diet Starts Monday to show women there's another way. One that works long term and doesn't feel like self-sabotage disguised as discipline.
00:01:29
Speaker
Through her online coaching content and community, she empowers women to take control of their health in a way that actually finally feels good. In this conversation, we talk about mainly around the topic of binge eating and emotional eating. We talk about how important it is to dig deep.
00:01:46
Speaker
into your emotions. And that's where a lot of people go wrong is they're not willing to do that deep work or they're not aware that they need to do that deep work in order to make the changes that need to be made for it to actually stick.
00:02:00
Speaker
We talk a lot about strategies to overcome these cycles that we just can't seem to free ourselves from. And then we talk a lot around just in general, establishing a healthy lifestyle and that actually is going to stick.
00:02:13
Speaker
Her perspective, her attitude towards everything, it's just so refreshing. it was just such a helpful, such an amazing conversation. And I think that this conversation is going to help a lot of people.
Nicole's Journey to Becoming a Health Coach
00:02:25
Speaker
So here is the episode with Nicole Wigley.
00:02:32
Speaker
Nicole, welcome to the podcast. Thank you so much for having me. So good to see you. It is so good to have a catch up. I'd say it's probably over a year since I spoke. No, i'm not over a year.
00:02:43
Speaker
Speaking to you in November. But yeah, god time is just flying by. So I suppose for anyone who does know who you are, would you like to just share a little bit about who you are and what you do? God, I always don' never know what to say to that. i have So name is Nicole.
00:02:56
Speaker
I'm an online health coach. I work mostly with people with binge eating disorders and emotional relationship, poor emotional relationships with food. So emotionally binge eating, diet starts Monday cycle. You're always saying diet starts Monday. You can't stick to anything, feel like they're constantly on a diet.
00:03:10
Speaker
That is my people. That is my, that's my wheelhouse. You come to me, babies. I look after you. That's all good. So I totally get that. And yeah, How did that start? So but I'm from Tyrone. I'm 35. It was my birthday last week.
00:03:22
Speaker
What else have I got to? I'm an only child. I have a dog and a cat. I moved back with my parents in September. i am obsessed with Italy and Greece and what else? Disney and Harry Potter and country music.
00:03:35
Speaker
And cheese. So that's pretty much who all about me. I love that random stuff. Italy, cheese, Disneyland, and Harry Potter. And country music. Don't forget that. And country music. I love it. Love it.
00:03:48
Speaker
Yeah. No, I could, I could get on board with any of those as well, to be fair. but very So your Instagram page is called diet starts Monday. Correct. Talk to me a little bit more about this name, where that came from and what that, what the mindset behind what you do in relation to this, I suppose is.
00:04:05
Speaker
Okay, so Diastarts on Monday started in 2017. I actually, it's a really weird way how this started. So I decided I wanted to be a magazine editor back whenever I was about 17. And this was before the world opened up. Like that's one thing we do have to thank COVID and lockdown for is that the world opened up in a way online. Now you can do sort of anything from anywhere.
00:04:25
Speaker
Whereas back then, if you wanted experience in a magazine or any sort of editorial content, I basically wanted to be Miranda Priestly, which meant I would have had to move to London and I couldn't afford to do that. so I was like right how am I gonna get I had this dream for when I was 17 and then whenever I got I was working with a life coach at the time who was a friend of mine and me and her kind of put a plan together that we were gonna basically well I actually had decided I wanted to start blogging because I was like if I can create my own brand and my own sort of content and sort of stuff like that, then I can take that into an interview and be like, well, look, I have experience because experience is something you need, especially if you're going into content and to ah work or a field like that. It's very hard to get experience.
00:05:06
Speaker
You spend a lot of time working for free. Again, I obviously couldn't afford to do that. So I was like, okay, I'll carve out my own sort of niche. And then it was kind of just whenever Zoella was starting to take off, who the whole YouTube buzz. And I was following a lot of YouTubers and bloggers there. And I was like, I could do that.
00:05:18
Speaker
So I started on YouTube and started doing vlogging then. So basically I had gained lot of weight during and after university. And then I just sort of documented the process of losing that.
00:05:30
Speaker
And then it sort of grew. And I did lose the weight and that was grand. I was flying. And then I moved and put it back on again and then lost it again. And then I moved and put it back on again. And seems to be like every time I moved house to a city or something, but Then I would actually put the weight back on again. And then I realized I was, it was so funny because i was sitting at work whenever I decided on my blog, cause I was going to call it something different. And then I was like, I'm going call it diet it starts Monday because that's one thing my mom said, I'm going to put that on your bloody headstone.
00:05:55
Speaker
Cause I was always saying it. And then it just sort of worked that way. And then I realized I was actually stuck in a diet starts Monday cycle. And I didn't think, I don't think I realized that until about, a long time after I started it.
00:06:07
Speaker
I was only over lockdown. I was like, hang on a second. This is a cycle. I'm constantly starting and stopping and starting and stopping and I can't just maintain healthy habits. So then that was what actually sparked the catalyst for me to realize that this isn't just a me thing. This is a...
00:06:21
Speaker
like especially in this country because women have such poor relationships with food in their bodies and I think it comes from a lot of our mums and aunties and stuff being on diets and yo-yo diet and all that there sort of stuff and it just yeah so I basically then decided I wanted to coach became qualified as coach did a couple other qualifications in like mental health and counselling and like food relationships and different bits bobs like that And now it's grown into something that I am super proud of. It's a really amazing community of women and it's about stopping, breaking that diet starts Monday cycle and creating healthy, sustainable habits that mean that you never have to worry about this horrible yo-yo diet and bollocks again, because that is ah what a lot of people do is they'll over-restrict and then,
00:07:02
Speaker
maybe not see what they want it'll last like 10 days to two weeks and then they'll put on more weight or they'll last for like four weeks six weeks eight weeks and then it'll ricochet back into something else so it's just about actually doing it in a way that's sustainable and sometimes that's a bit sore which a lot of people can find very frustrating so then you need a coach who can handle the tantrum that comes with that and i have no stranger to those tantrums i throw them myself quite regularly so you need somebody who can actually kind of hold your hand be like you're not mental it's fine It sounds so much like kind of the approach that we take within my own coaching service as well. And I think the most, the healthiest thing that you can do when you start on like your health and fitness journey is realizing that there's no end date.
00:07:39
Speaker
That it's not, it's not like take the fucking time limits off. Like why do you have to be a size 10 by Christmas? Why do you have to be at whatever, you know, well, like first of all, like letting letting go of these numbers, letting go of these dates and just being, it is really very much,
00:07:54
Speaker
one step at a time and learning to kind of lose yourself in the process. What would you say is like the first step? So how do you break this diet starts Monday cycle for you, like for you or your clients, like is it different for each person or is there, do you think that there's one step that really needs to be taken first to to get out of this cycle?
Understanding and Breaking Dieting Cycles
00:08:13
Speaker
Well, I think it's about looking at where you're at and what you're the reason you're doing for. Just even you saying about dates. Like I set myself a goal last summer that I wanted to lose 70 pounds in a year, which is it's a hard goal, but it's a doable goal.
00:08:25
Speaker
But that was me totally buying. Like the reason I set that goal was TikTok comments. that was the reason I set that goal it was because they got in my head and I felt unworthy and it was affecting my mental health and my ability to do my job because I didn't believe that I was worthy of it so I think you need to look at why you're doing it and what you're doing it for and how you're doing it and who you're doing that to place I think that is a really really important thing I think you have to be really honest about where you're at and be okay with the sacrifices that need to be made so basically the question you asked me was what's my what would be the first step did you say yeah
00:08:56
Speaker
So I think the first step is getting really honest about where you're at right now. Because for instance, like myself, I would, in the mistakes I'd made previously, i would be like, I eat so healthy, I eat so healthy. And don't get me wrong, my meals were brilliant. There was fruit, there was veg.
00:09:10
Speaker
There was a lot of protein in there. and Like it was all home cooked stuff. It was all really, really good. But I was like binging. three times a week and smashing six or 7,000 calories in those binges and then like properly having what I call food amnesia.
00:09:23
Speaker
And because I wasn't tracking, I convinced myself I hadn't done it and telling myself it was normal and being like, okay, no, but like everyone treats themselves on the weekend. Like two share bars, two share, like share bars of crisps, a tiny Chinese steak with two balls of Prosecco is not a trick.
00:09:37
Speaker
That is ridiculous. you know what I mean? So it's about being really honest about where you're at. So I think getting honest with you is step number one. and actually looking at what do you want to change why do you want to change that is what do you want from it so people but like i just want to lose weight say i just want to lose the stone i've put on right okay why why do you want to lose the stone you've put on is it because you have decided that you're this number on the scale is you're you you you're just not who you say you are if you don't do that or it's because your clothes feel uncomfortable, which is totally fair reason. Is it something else that someone else has told you? Like I remember whenever I was younger, I set a goal for myself that I wanted to be a stone.
00:10:19
Speaker
Hit it, bang on the nose, turned to my mom, said, oh my God, I made stone. And she said seven stone 11 be great way for you. And she was constantly pushing the boundaries and the goalposts. And that's where my binging and my emotional relationships came from is my relationship with my mom. Now I'm very lucky.
00:10:32
Speaker
I have a mum who was willing to do the work. Me and her have been to a lot of therapy. There's a lot of time on Mummy in the Bank. They're done. We have had many sessions about It worked great. now she And even now, the conversations we've had but how about it are amazing.
00:10:45
Speaker
So that was for me where I kind of went... Oh fuck it I'm never to be thin enough for her so it doesn't matter i'm just give up and that was whenever I just took out and started eating what I want from that age from that day and it just went constant then so I think you have to be really honest about where you're at and where that came from and that takes a bit of self examination and exploration and that's something in my consultation call with my clients and I always say my coaching is like therapy and coaching had a baby and coaching is one side of it therapy is another like you have to figure out where did you learn that
00:11:19
Speaker
you have to finish your plate. Where did you learn that you come bottom of the pack and order people pleasing is a massive thing for my clients. They're they're mostly people pleasers or recovering people pleasers. And it's because then they put everybody else above themselves and they don't make time for themselves. And then it just creates a snowball effect that they'll make sure their kids are eating the most nutritious food, but they're having a pot noodle and their kids are getting fresh air and getting outside and exercising, but they're lying on the sofa, completing TikTok because they're so overwhelmed and exhausted.
00:11:48
Speaker
So it's about actually, again, looking at where you're at, being honest with yourself and figuring out where your relationship with yourself and with food and your body came from. Yeah, that's so, so powerful. And like, I think that all of that initial deep work, you cannot push forward like push forward with these physical changes or these routine habit lifestyle changes until you get to the bottom of this. But the problem is a lot of people give up before they like they they won't put in that work that needs to go in ah of self exploration and I think a lot of it can be first of all just impatience because they don't want to they just like I just want to lose the weight or else it's it can be really really uncomfortable
00:12:32
Speaker
So a lot of times, you know, if we overeat or we over drink or we whatever we do, you know, whatever habits we have in place, it's to kind of numb ourselves a little bit because we're afraid to feel what needs to be felt, to to face what needs to be faced.
00:12:45
Speaker
And we can be really unaware of it as well. With that approach, there'd be a lot of journaling going on, I'd imagine. Yeah. Sometimes it depends on client to be honest journaling can only really take you so far I think it just depends on kind of what how deep breath the traumas are heart and what works them I think journaling is a really good way to get like your thoughts it feels like if they're in a ball of yarn it's a really good way to get them like in a straight line which is a great idea so you can actually see them because sometimes when you're overwhelmed it's like a washing machine up there like the darks and the whites and the the colors are just all mish mashing like the red socks are bleeding into the white t-shirt you can't make sense of everything to know what i mean?
00:13:23
Speaker
So it's about actually managing your thoughts in that way. So journaling is a part of it. Yeah, for sure. We do used to do some of that, but I think it's more lot of conversation and a lot of, again, like said, I do a lot of one-to-one coaching calls and they're more like therapy sessions. So it's about working that sort of stuff, but it's,
00:13:40
Speaker
Also a lot of habit loop formation. So for example, it's about rewiring your brain to respond to a trigger differently. So for instance, take myself. Whenever I realized what my binge triggers were, being left in the house by myself,
00:13:54
Speaker
was a trigger for a binge. And the reason was because whenever I was growing up, I couldn't really eat without comment being passed on what I was eating or on my body as a result of that. Even if I was eating something healthy, it was like, are you eating again or something like that?
00:14:06
Speaker
So then whenever I was left in the house by myself, my brain went instantly, go, what can i immediately, straight away, it was like, oh my God, how much food can I get into my body until there's someone back in this house?
00:14:18
Speaker
And it was carnage, like anything I could get in, like caramel waffles I didn't even like. But then I realized that even just watching my dad's, the taillights of my dad's car go around the edge of the driveway that was enough to set a that set a trigger off and my brain would go on to eat or what do I need to eat what can I eat so instead of actually responding to that trigger which is the usual reward I would take like a daily bit of box breathing actually ask myself why do I want to eat right now and then It's a lot of inner child work too.
00:14:49
Speaker
It's reparenting your inner child because it's a lot of reassurance of yourself that food isn't going anywhere. And you have to sort of relearn that because whenever I was younger, like I was hiding food in my drawers. I was hiding food in handbags and stuff so that I would be able to eat outside the house. I was eating in my car a lot the time in secret because I just couldn't bear that. like the cop the It was just easier to not eat than it was to do with the sort of comments that were passed.
00:15:13
Speaker
So that's where I picked it up. And it's about being really honest with that and figuring out what the trigger is and then responding to that differently. So now, for instance, if I'm left in the house and I get a binge trigger because the trigger is still there sometimes. And like sometimes I don't even notice it. and It's great progress whenever like I'm left in the house on my own. I'm working away for an hour and then all of a sudden I'm like, oh, I didn't get triggered, which is great.
00:15:32
Speaker
But also it's very important to realize that sometimes that trigger will fire off depending on like how overwhelmed you're feeling or whether or not like you're in week four your cycle or if you're sad or tired or anything like that sometimes the trigger will still fire and it's about how you respond to that so for instance like my dog who isn't asleep in the corner he's my wee baby son so basically what i do with him is like if i notice myself getting triggered i took him out for a game i can't say yeah because he's in the room but Oh yeah.
00:16:03
Speaker
But basically we take a tennis racket and a tennis ball and throw it up the field and then he runs after it. It's all very cute. He gets dopamine. I get to watch him. It's all like takes me out of my mind and um into my body. So there's a lot of habit rewiring as well and getting very honest with yourself. And I think emotional eating is another one.
00:16:19
Speaker
People will say that you eat to fill a void and I think that's a really dangerous thing. mentality and picture to put in someone's head because it puts the idea that there is a void inside them like a pit that needs to be filled with food and then whenever your subconscious hears that that there's a void it will put stuff in to fill it so then you'll get all these different sort of like urges and triggers and cravings for different things like that but what actually is happening is it's actually a most of emotional suppressive consumption so for your brain your brain is hardwired to keep you alive.
00:16:49
Speaker
And in order for you to stay alive, as far as your brain is concerned, you need to stay comfortable. Okay. So it's a, your brain sees discomfort as death. And it doesn't matter if that discomfort is physical, emotional, mental, and anything like that. So it'll be like, oh my God, there's an uncomfortable emotion about to come up. Let me fire off a craving to smush it down. So rather than like having this idea of like a pit inside you that needs to be filled with something, it's actually something that is trying to come up that your brain then tries to shove down. So let's say for instance, rejection or loneliness.
00:17:19
Speaker
or any of those sort of triggers if you're feeling rejected feeling lonely feeling upset ashamed any of those different things give me any of those emotions so let's go with rejection because that was a main trick a big trigger for me whenever i figured all this out so say something has happened do you have a conversation with a friend for me it was something to do with the holiday whenever actually twigged on to this was there was something to do with the holiday in which i felt that i was disinvited from the holiday that wasn't actually what was happening but that's how interpreted and then i saw that as rejection Then for like my brain was fine whenever my brain was occupied, but after work, the twiggers and the bench, benchargers and the cravens came really, really strongly for three to four days.
00:17:58
Speaker
So let's say your brain has this, or you have this phalan in your solar plexus, which are stored in your stomach. And the rejection of emotion of rejection wants to come up. So your brain can already feel that this emotion is there. That's where we get butterflies and that sort of feeling like you've been kicked in the stomach.
00:18:14
Speaker
So rather than go, okay, I feel rejected. Your brain will be like, let me shove this down. And that's why it'll send a trigger. That's usually something very specific. I want...
Managing Emotional Eating and Triggers
00:18:23
Speaker
um Peking chicken from Wafu and Finnegan, I want like a curry cheesy chip from this chip, I want pickled onion monster munch and it'll be very very specific a lot of the time when it comes to emotional eating and it's because it's trying to get you to seek something that will shove the emotion down so if that emotion is trying to come up from the stomach Your brain will be like, oh, no, this emotion is uncomfortable.
00:18:43
Speaker
We're going to die. Let me actually pick up something that's going to shove that emotion down so it will cause you to eat. And then what will actually leave you feeling. That's why it kind of feels like a compulsion as well. It's because it's a survival tactic and a survival instinct.
00:18:55
Speaker
That's how your subconscious brain sees it. So it's about actually taking a wee breath for yourself and going, hang on on a wee second. Do I actually want a Chinese or have I been triggered earlier end the air near in the day?
00:19:06
Speaker
That's made me feel rejected, overwhelmed, ashamed, sad, whatever. Let me just sit with this for a second. And then if you just sit with it for wee minute, Nine times out of 10, the emotion will come up. Nine times out of 10, it won't actually feel as horrible as you think it's going to feel. So say, for example, if you actually all allow yourself to feel rejected and then sort of take deep breath and re-parent that, it sounds very airy-fairy and a bit woo-woo, but actually say that we are all just adults with an inner child inside us. Like it's saying, have you seen Avatar?
00:19:33
Speaker
The inner child's driving the meat wagon. That's all it is. And you just need to constantly, nobody tells you when you grow up that it's your job to parent yourself. And most of your of your emotions triggers and things like that will come from a wounded inner child.
00:19:45
Speaker
So it's about nurturing that smaller version of you and saying like, okay, so say your friend, again, let's say this holiday. My friend rejected me from that holiday. day That's very sad. That's very hurtful. It's not nice. Maybe she didn't mean it that way. How about we actually arrange a conversation with her and talk it out? Because it probably isn't.
00:20:04
Speaker
If she doesn't want you to go on holiday and she wants to go with just her partner, then that's absolutely okay. She's very much within her rights to do that. That doesn't mean she loves you any less. But why do you feel so sad? oh because it means so much to me to go to this holiday and I'm actually single and don't have a partner to go on holiday with.
00:20:20
Speaker
So then that leaves me feeling and isolated and alone. And whenever I get rejected, it hurts more because i have nobody to fall back on. on they do And then actually going, Okay, yeah, that that's actually how I feel.
00:20:30
Speaker
And then if you get a wee bit emotional about it, like I'm getting emotional thinking about that now, have a wee cry, light yourself, like have a wee moment where you're just like, God, I'm really lonely or I'm really sad or I feel rejected and all that there sort of stuff.
00:20:43
Speaker
And that is like, that's why i like there's tears in my eyes now because I'm just like, I just process that emotion even from memory. I'm just going like, that's how it feels is because like, I don't feel like I have anybody who I can be like, let's go do this. But I don't have a partner and that I can grab and go. Do you know what I mean?
00:20:59
Speaker
It's just about pinpointing that. And then whenever you have that way, emotional or nice, sometimes you'll have a cry. Sometimes you'll scream into a pillow. Sometimes it'll just be an acknowledgement to the feeling and that's plenty. could you Do you know what I mean? So it just depends how big the emotion is, what it's around and stuff like that. And then whenever you process it that way, i would say I would 99% of the time the craving goes,
00:21:21
Speaker
you have given so much value in what you've just spoken about there. I've literally been making notes because I need to unpack this, okay? There's loads of things, like loads things coming to my mind that I want to kind talk about. can't tell a short story. I'm so sorry. It's proper. Like that was probably one of the most valuable few minutes that this podcast has heard in a while.
00:21:40
Speaker
Like, honest to God, Nicole, like that was amazing. Okay. But first of all, what I, what what came up with for me there, right? When you were talking about that really strong emotion coming up that you feel like you need to push down, that you can't handle it.
00:21:52
Speaker
yeah And you were talking about that as a negative emotion. I can relate to that when it comes to a positive emotion, if that makes sense. Right. Yeah. so if I'm really excited about something, it's like my nervous system can't handle it.
00:22:04
Speaker
Like, I'm like, you know, if I was like really excited about going out at the weekend to, so like, you know, we're talking about when I was a bit younger or, you know, if I was really excited about going on holidays or, you know, whatever, like the excitement that come up, I used to suppress that with alcohol, like, because I couldn't,
00:22:19
Speaker
Processing myself. i't yeah I just couldn't. The excitement would would just be too much of me, like that butterfly feeling in my stomach. So I used to suppress that with alcohol or with cigarettes. Like so i I'm like for three years because I i started smoking ah quite a young teenager.
00:22:34
Speaker
And it took me to my like late 20s to kick the habit. like so But again, it was that feeling, that excitement. of like So smoking or drinking would have always done that for me in the past.
00:22:44
Speaker
When I think about myself now, and i'm like in I don't get excited about things in the same way. So I think in a way, I'm less up and down. um the probably more I'm probably more calm in general. like that i more Because I've done a lot of work myself. And I think as you get older and you get into your 30s, you do get a little bit more level.
00:23:02
Speaker
So it's not... Speak for yourself. and But maybe, yeah. And now that i'm kind of I'm kind of thinking out loud but on this and in relation to myself, I don't know what I've replaced it with, but I'm going to do a little reflection on that. And I'm going to have to, like because I'm like, I don't experience the ups and downs anymore. I don't drink at all anymore.
00:23:22
Speaker
because I can't, because like it's just because then I have ups and downs and it's really not good for my mental health. But I just think that that was just a really, really interesting point that you made about the about the emotion because like I would probably, like with food as well, it would much more be, yeah, I'm much more likely to want to eat loads and loads in an exciting situation rather than a traumatic situation. Like when I feel...
00:23:45
Speaker
emotions come up in me like that are negative I very much either want to sleep or cry so like I think my body is quite good at releasing the emotions and like I think what you're saying that you know like crying it out and screaming it out and you know moving your body or whatever it is that that's going to help move that emotion that's just such a powerful way because what kind of teach my clients to do is the idea, like you've said it basically there, creating the gap. When you have that experience, when you feel that really that trigger that happens, that strong emotion.
00:24:18
Speaker
And even actually when you say about being left in the house on your own, like your parents' taillights just out of the driveway, for me that was get out the back garden and then have a cigarette. When I was growing up, it was like any time be gone, out the back smoking, like you know what i mean? it was And and like it's funny and it will still trigger me sometimes.
00:24:33
Speaker
I would never have a cigarette anymore, like but it would still, every now and again, I'd be like, oh a fancy right nice right now oh wait no i don't do that anymore no even now all i have to do is think about my dad like think about the image of my dad's car they going around the corner and i'm just like right yeah the excitement of like four percent get us to now yeah i think it's like as you say it's just like those emotions it doesn't have to necessarily be a negative one it can just be a big one that like you can't process it's like you know whenever you see a dog and they're so excited they can't stop shaking it's like that
00:25:03
Speaker
ah they get like a little bum wiggle and it can be anything as simple as a conversation or just like it doesn't have to be a whole big release of like screaming a cry and crying it can just be like a single wee like well up and just a wee moment of like oh my god I just need to cry for like 30 seconds and that's all I can like it it doesn't have to be people think that emotional release has to be like this crazy thing sometimes it can just be the feeling come up and a breath and that's enough it just depends But the thing as well is that when it comes to those triggers, and this is very important, so if you take one thing from this podcast, take this.
00:25:36
Speaker
Sometimes these triggers, and oftentimes if you have a trigger, you will notice that your response is like, go, go, go, go go respond now, quick, quick, quick. but quick yeah And the reason that it's happening and my therapist pointed this out because you might notice I talk very quickly.
00:25:50
Speaker
i am motor mouth. Like there's a lot of words going there. And a lot of the time it's an autopilot. A lot of the time it's because there's a lot of stuff going up there. But also that is a habit. And the reason that habit was created is basically if you're a self-sabotager, you'll notice, especially if you have been a drinker in the past,
00:26:05
Speaker
It's next drink, next drink, next drink, next drink until you're in the black hole and you don't know what happened. Same with binging, like people will like pretty say things like, oh, before I knew it, the packet of biscuits was in me or like before I knew it, like I had the whole pizza eaten or before I knew it, I had the whole bag of a packet of crisps gone.
00:26:21
Speaker
And it leaves you feeling, very confused but the reason is your subconscious gets you to operate at such a speed that your inner child doesn't which is also like your conscious brain and your conscience doesn't get a chance to go hang on a second what are you doing
00:26:40
Speaker
I just wanted to interrupt the podcast for a moment to talk to you a little bit about Kate Hamilton Health online coaching. So we have two coaching options available.
00:26:50
Speaker
We have our elite coaching and we have our group coaching service. Our elite coaching service is bespoke individualized coaching, which will help you to finally break free from diet culture with one-to-one anytime support from your coach and with access to a safe, supportive community.
00:27:10
Speaker
This is a higher ticket coaching option and the coaching is by application only. If you go to my website, KateHamiltonHealth.com, you will be able to apply for elite coaching through there and we will be in touch to organize a call and to get you up and running.
00:27:26
Speaker
In relation to our group coaching, our group coaching starts on the first Monday day of every month. When it's full each month, we do close the doors. With the group coaching is about building the habits, body and energy of the healthiest version of yourself and finally make it stick.
00:27:43
Speaker
We include personalized calories and portions, food lists, recipes, meal plan ideas, step goals, home or gym based workouts, depending on what you want, changed every eight weeks.
00:27:57
Speaker
Mindset work, app access. So that's the Kate Hamilton Health app, which will be your hub for everything. Weekly yoga classes, WhatsApp group community, weekly group Q&A with myself, fun challenges, daily habits form, weekly self check-in. fortnightly check-ins with your coach, a library full of lifestyle guides, a library full of lessons, seminars, and all of this is updated regularly.
00:28:23
Speaker
We have weekly group Zoom calls with myself and the team, regular guest seminars where we get experts on to talk more to you about different topics that we need experts on for.
00:28:34
Speaker
And then we have in-person events twice a year that you will get at a major discount as being a member of the Kate Hamilton Health community. As I said, this starts the first Monday of every month. If you go to my website, KateHamiltonHealth.com, you will see when the next group coaching intake is starting for you.
00:28:53
Speaker
So we close the doors as soon as that intake is full or the Monday before the group coaching starts. So usually that last Monday of the previous month. So if you head over to Kate Hamilton health.com, all of that information that I've talked through is on the website.
00:29:10
Speaker
You'll be able to book your spot for the next intake there. And I will chat to you all then. So for instance, like, so say if you suffer from a binging disorder you have a problem with binging, you'll notice that a trigger will happen and you'll be responding it very quickly and there'll be a tiny voice in the back of your head that goes, this is probably not a great idea.
00:29:31
Speaker
And then you'll like, shh, shh, just keep going. And you'll literally be shoving food into your face so fast you're out of breath. And that is because that is a... the bread the chimp paradox it'll be similar to that it's because your subconscious sort of self-destructive brain will be getting you to move at such a pace that your inner child or conscious brain doesn't get a chance to come online whereas if you actually take a minute get into the habit of taking a minute and going right i have this urge what do i want um let me just think is this the best choice for my goals is getting further meal further away and sometimes it's just a choice of going do you know what I really fucking and want that and going to have it and that's absolutely fine as long as you're making that decision you're happy with it but a lot of the time it just gives that wee second if you just take that little tiny bit of time even if it's just a minute to allow your conscious brain to come online and say hang on a wee second love let's just a bit there do you know what i mean
00:30:24
Speaker
Yeah, it's creating that gap and learning to, yeah learning to respond rather than react. And that's something that I have really learned in life, you know, even with just like building the business and, you know, yeah kind making business decisions or even just like reacting to my kids.
00:30:38
Speaker
It's the learning to, like, I just, I literally, I just think about like the Beatles song, let it be in my head. I'm always just like, hey, let it be, let it be. little bit like the Mel Robbins, let them kind of, but it's like just giving that gap before it we react immediately. Like that can be really, really hard in the moment.
00:30:54
Speaker
So I had this conversation with, I don't know if you know Charlotte Melkey from, used to work with with TMP. So she's one of the TMP coaches. She's a cognitive hypnotherapist. She was on the podcast and we were talking about this and I was talking about how, you know, creating that gap and sitting with the emotion and, you know, or, you know, finding something that doesn't take too much brain power to do to create that gap but so but between the emotion and the reaction, you know, and she made the point that when we are in this situation,
00:31:21
Speaker
situation. That's great if we can create the gap, but a lot of the time we're going to be emotionally drunk is what she calls it. You know, like, and you kind of alluded to it there, you know, where it's like you kind of nearly don't know what happened. Like, you know, it's like something came over you. And when we're emotionally drunk,
00:31:35
Speaker
it can be very, very difficult do that. So what she says, what we need to do in that situation is like, first of all, is we always detach the guilt from it. Okay. So, you know, a binge happens, let's say, or, you know, if we're talking um in relation to alcohol or whatever, whatever and you you've had too many drinks, you're like, shit, what happened? Oh my God.
00:31:53
Speaker
Whatever it is, whether we're talking about food or i'll alcohol or you know, whatever, when the moment has passed, okay. And you're reflecting, you need to reflect back on it and you need to be like, what happened?
00:32:03
Speaker
What happened earlier like in the lead up to that? How did I feel? What was I looking for? What did I need in that moment that I thought I'd get from what happened?
00:32:15
Speaker
And did I get what I need? What do I need going forward? So like basically, you know, doing that deep work afterwards, and then you can take it with you next time. And that over time, and as you learn to just kind of put curiosity towards that as it happens in the future as you but you put curiosity rather than guilt and shame to it that you will over time overcome it that way like her argument would be that that gap or that sitting where that doesn't really work in the moment particularly initially and I just kind of wanted to share that with you because I like i I very much do think that going out with your dog is a great way to kind just give yourself
00:32:53
Speaker
You can't get away from it because it depends. I think it depends on the situation. I think like, for instance, me, especially considering the fact the work me and my family have done on our communication. Like if i if you look, it's not just me and my mom, it's me and my mom and dad, the three of us.
00:33:09
Speaker
Our dynamic has completely changed in the last 20 years. If you look at where we were whenever I was 15 compared to where we are now, it's a completely different way of handling things. So say for instance, I was cheeky or my dad says something I don't like it before would have been one of us close off the handle. We're probably like up in each other's faces, screaming and screaming at each other. My mom's crying and being like, oh my God, I can't believe we're shaking at each other. It's a whole thing. It's really, really toxic.
00:33:31
Speaker
Whereas now, my dad will say something and I'll be like can just clarify what you meant by that and he'll clarify what he meant by that and most of the time that's not what I picked up at all but also he is a man so there is that and then so we'll have to just skip from grace there then I'll just like I'm just gonna there's two things I really love with said I'm just gonna let you repeat what you said to me and you can come back and tell me what's wrong with it when you figured it out or I'm just gonna go
00:34:03
Speaker
go chill for a second before I respond to this. And it's the same thing if you like are like talking to a friend or you're having a discussion with a friend by text and they something that maybe like they've just said something quite bluntly, but maybe you're interpreting it as cheeky.
00:34:15
Speaker
It's kind of going like just reacting and going like, ah! It's just going to give yourself a wee chance to be like, I'm just not going to react to that right now. I'm going to let that sit and then come back to it whenever I actually can...
00:34:27
Speaker
think with a fresh head because nine times out a ten like if you're just constantly like a tornado meets a volcano is never a good situation you always want to like calm yourself down but it's not just for you the other person or for being the bigger person or whatever it's just literally like how are you going to feel about your actions and a a lot of the time again an emotional link and binge eating comes from this is it's you're more about your actions that you feel what a certain way about than anything that's happened on the external and how you handle it. So say for instance, like I have had a client recently and she had been through quite a ah situation that was quite traumatic.
00:35:03
Speaker
And up until that, she'd been doing really well, really managing her emotional eating triggers and all of that sort of stuff. She'd been doing amazing. And this thing happened and she noticed things sliding a wee bit and she then started to really get down on herself and then she ended up having a binge.
00:35:16
Speaker
And she was like, I don't know why did that. I was doing so well. And I was like, well, you... like you had this situation happen at the start of the week and then you cope with that with a bit of snack instead of reaching out for help. And then you were so annoyed about the fact that things weren't perfect and you had let things slide that then that resulted in you beating yourself up with a binge.
00:35:32
Speaker
yeah And she's like, oh my God, yeah, that was proper self-harming. It's punishment, it can be self-harming, it can be emotional suppressive consumption, it can be a million different things. And one that's the thing is that like, it is a gray area and I think that people need to realize that as things are quite multifaceted, it's neither just one thing or another. it can be both shoving down feelings and punishing yourself.
00:35:50
Speaker
Yeah. Do know what I mean? And then how you feel about that as a result. Yeah. And I think even if we're not talking about the extremes of binging, even with like creating new habits, if like if you cannot seem to get a habit in place or, you know, or you can't kick something that's just kind of getting in the way of you reaching your goals or whatever it is, I think it's because you don't, you don't know why you're doing it or you don't know why you're not doing it. And you you haven't, you're not willing, like you, not that you're not willing, you haven't yet done the deep work to the why.
00:36:25
Speaker
It's also as well, sometimes you've picked a plan that's so outside of where you're at right now that you are setting yourself up for failure and then you're giving yourself a really hard time for failing. So again, this is something I see with all my clients who tend to be ex-lemon club members or people who have poor relationship with food, things like that.
00:36:42
Speaker
And long time people will say, for example, they'll be like, right, diet starts Monday, my fitness pal says 12 hundred calories, that's what I'm going to have. I'm going to train every day this week. going to get my 10,000 steps.
00:36:54
Speaker
I mean while these people might have been having four takeaways a week having to fuck the gym in six months and have literally their step average for the last like three weeks has been 3000 and they're giving themselves this thing and then say let's say they miss their gym session on Thursday or Friday oh that's it the whole thing's fucked now I'm a failure and then it's straight into the Chinese takeaway on the way home because like fuck it like why not done now And I think it's well as like, you have to be realistic about your expectations. So let's say that last gym session doesn't get done because you have kids or because you're tired or because it's poor planning or because that gym session is actually better moved to the weekend because that is more sustainable for you.
00:37:29
Speaker
Then rather than going to go and then giving yourself a hard time. So a lot of people will miss that third gym session. And then their thought process will be fucking sure it's fucked. Now I'll get a Chinese where it's actually what they're telling themselves. See, you're a failure.
00:37:43
Speaker
So we're just going to feel harder. And then they'll seek, it'll be like pushing down the feeling of failure, but also punishing themselves for failing. So it just depends. There's so many different facets to it. And this is the thing, it's like emotional eating, binge eating, all that sort of stuff. Like I said, we don't even have to go to that extreme. It's like that perfectionism. And that's I work with a lot of clients who have that very, everything has to be perfect or it's shite.
00:38:08
Speaker
mentality and then it's about diving into where that comes from as well and really reversing reverse engineering that too which takes a lot of time i have a client actually who just graduated out of the program last month and ah she just now is just a different girl like she would have given herself i mean the worst time if like one of her kids birthdays didn't go exactly the way she wanted it would have been like i'm the worst mother in the world she would have like been in floods of tears and now she's just like oh well yeah it's the best do you know i mean so And I think this is where a lot ah lot of online coaches miss the mark.
00:38:44
Speaker
that you know That they can work with people that have no problem tracking their calories, getting their workouts in. It's like, here's your calories, here's your macros, here's your workouts, this steps. And they're like, you know do this and you'll drop X pounds per week or whatever. And you know then they all they have to do is a adjust and tweak, adjust and tweak. And they think that that's the job. I think... ah But there's so many online coaches that do think that that's what it is.
00:39:08
Speaker
And maybe with people in who are age 22 and don't have any other problems in their life, that works. like But you know for course real people, well, actually, it would never have worked for me when I was 22. had too much other things going on in my life. Too busy living my gut life. I was too busy. Yeah, too busy. Yeah.
00:39:24
Speaker
But I think that when you realize that it's real people that we're working with, real people like me, real people like you, it's not a case that someone has to, you know, that everybody's so different, but it is this perfectionism. It's the all or nothing. And it does, it stems from like our childhoods. It stems from our, from what we, did the media we were consuming growing up. but It stems from the slimming clubs.
00:39:49
Speaker
It stems from what we're seeing online now. It's like, oh, I need to be hitting 10,000 steps. I need to be getting four workouts in a week. I need to be doing this. this And it's like, okay, hold on second. Where like exactly what you said, where are you at?
00:40:01
Speaker
We start there. Like, and one of the first questions I will get from clients, well, actually two is, do I need to hit 10,000 steps a day? And the other one is my calories are too high. ah through Put a pin in that one. Cause that's a good one to go back to.
00:40:14
Speaker
But with the 10,000 steps, I'm like, no, like if you're someone who, who currently, like you want to start moving more and you currently only get 2000 steps a day and maybe for three, 4000 steps, you know i mean? Just aim to just add a walk into your day. Be someone that walks every day rather than and building yeah rather than someone who has to do 10,000 steps or five kilometres or whatever it is per day. Like, it's you know, these rigid rules are just creating new prisons for yourself and that they're not sustainable.
00:40:43
Speaker
And then when it comes to like the calories, It's funny, I was actually talking to a client about this on Monday day on a call, this cycle of, you kind of alluded to it there, you know, you know that like you're tracking all week or whatever, and then the weekend just goes to shit and you just kind of can't, you're going around in circles with this kind of, this cycle of of diet starts Monday.
00:41:01
Speaker
yeah And it's not necessarily like a full on binge, but it's like, you just can't stick with your calories the weekend. You want to lose body fat and you're trying to stick to a calorie deficit. And The thing is dieting, like, you know, effectively dieting for a period of time and trying to diet, it feels the same. It's just as exhausting.
00:41:18
Speaker
And you can only do it for a certain amount of time until you need a diet break. Like, and you know, and things need to be brought to maintenance and you need to, you can only do it in phases. Like you can't diet 52 weeks year. You can pretend, you can think you're dieting for years on end, but you're not.
00:41:32
Speaker
And you're going around in circles. And the trick here is when you find like there's a few weeks and this is just happening over and over again, stop dieting. torturing yourself and bring the calories up, bring the calories up to maintenance, track your whole week at maintenance. You can even bank a little bit during the week, tracking, just get it, get into grips. Like as this client I was talking to, she was like, something happens on a Friday and I just switch off and I can't, a can't track, I switch off from everything.
00:41:55
Speaker
And it's not that I'm massively overeating, but I'm not tracking. I just can't do it. and i'm like Yeah. That's what I like because have clients like that as well. I'll track it on the Thursday. yeah if you know you're gonna for dinner type in roast beefs on it yeah ahead and then it's just like but ah then you can just go back and change it and it's not because they need they need to track all their food or anything like that it's because it's actually allowed you to kind of go no i actually just can go back and change things because yeah my clients have this thing like oh but i don't know how to track that
00:42:29
Speaker
take a photo and send to me or like or for one or also like oh i don't know what i'm gonna be having or they'll like they'll for some reason and i'm just like well you could just if you know we you're going out for dinner and you're probably going to have lasagna and a portion of chips track that on like saturday morning and then on monday they just go back and go back and alter it to whatever you had added a couple of glasses of red wine a couple of fireball shots whatever it is you need to do but it's not just it's just like an like a gathering of data so that if your results aren't what you want them to be you can kind of see why but because that is something that i used to struggle with is like i would again and i think this is something if you have sort of binged or have emotional eating you get literally food amnesia you're like i haven't had that i don't eat that much it's about removing the confusion and taking your power back more than anything so it just depends
00:43:14
Speaker
And like, even when it comes to tracking, tracking will not be
Calorie Tracking & Building Positive Food Relationships
00:43:17
Speaker
forever. And particularly if we are talking yeah the route of eating disorder, which is not my area of focus. My area of focus, obviously, is much more kind of general.
00:43:26
Speaker
But what like what I find that is useful about tracking your calories is, again, it's it's like with when when we talk about reflecting on on the binge or whatever, it's it's detaching the guilt. It's using it as data and being like,
00:43:38
Speaker
Just start tracking where you're at. See, see like track everything you eat. Yeah. make So then you're conscious, you know what you've eaten and you can see the numbers. So then like if you're consuming 4000 calories a day by simply reducing that slightly, you're making progress in the right direction.
00:43:55
Speaker
Exactly. And it's just about giving you information. And I think that people see like they'll see. like I know I've worked with people like this before where they'll see the numbers I didn't track it because whenever I see the numbers then I feel like I failed and I'm like right okay and have you failed or is it just that's what you've been doing and now you're seeing what you've been doing to yourself and then you actually don't really like how that how you've been treating yourself yeah you don't need to feel guilty about that you don't need to rep yourself in your soul you need to ask yourself do I deserve better than this
00:44:26
Speaker
Yeah, but also a really good point. can be really uncomfortable people too. That really, really uncomfortable. It can be really uncomfortable because you do deserve, everyone deserves better than this as well. And this is the thing, we're in such a blessed situation to even have this as a problem.
00:44:39
Speaker
Yeah. Do you know what I mean? That we have to even think about it, but it's about actually going, even though it is actually, it's horrible when you have the worst relationship with food. And it's like even saying that it's a blessing to have a problem. It sounds absolutely ridiculous, but it is just what to be in the position where we have the freedom to make a choice. And I know it sounds like we don't like feel sometimes that we don't have a choice, but we do.
00:45:01
Speaker
And it's just about actually looking at it for yourself and going, Is this what I deserve? If somebody else was treating me like this, how would I feel about that person? and how would I feel would I want them near me would I trust them to look after me would I trust them to take me home after and I doubt would I trust them to go for a promotion of my job would I trust them to like hug my mum and it's these different things you have to look after yourself because that is the relationship you're building with you and I think again like I said it's taking a step back getting so honest with yourself and that's what I had to do was actually whenever I tracked a binge for the first time and I could not believe the numbers I was like holy fucking shit actually convinced myself
00:45:41
Speaker
That I should be losing weight. And here's me eating 6,000 calories three times a week. Yeah. And I was fully like sobbing in the office. Because i didn't know why I wasn't losing weight. wait And it was because I wasn't tracking my binges.
00:45:55
Speaker
Yeah. And then that would leave me confused. Because I would generally be don't eat that much. Because you convince yourself. That you haven't. Yeah, no, 100%. Just to go back to what you're saying about consistency and dieting. Yeah, dieting is something that can't be done for ages. But this is the crazy thing is that we live in a society where eating real food is considered dieting.
00:46:20
Speaker
Yeah. And that is the crazy thing is that like, and this is what I work with my clients is it's a lot of people will view their diet as let me just get to this goal and then I can go back to normal.
00:46:35
Speaker
normal got you here you can never go back there you have got to let it go so say for instance for me myself whenever i'm my normal was like two to three takeaways a week and like crystal chocolate every day not just like the odd wee fratto and the odd wee packet of wasps it was like a share bag and a share bar at least and what i mean like and i was like i should be able to eat what i want like this isn't fair yeah i train really hard and all this here stuff and then Whenever I actually was like, oh, right.
00:47:02
Speaker
Yeah, that's actually not normal. It's just been normalized by society. So we're actually not. We all we need to do is create habits like let's let go of that old habits that we had of the takeaways. not that doesn't mean you can never have takeaway again. course you can't. It's not as often.
00:47:16
Speaker
It just means that you have to kind of. let go of that previous version of you and actually start creating new habits that mean you never have to worry about it again, which means that you'll never be dieting again. And that's what we actually have to work towards.
00:47:28
Speaker
But it's very difficult to get to that point. And it takes a lot of rewiring of those habits because it's the day in and day out, do every choice being like, this is what's best for me and making those choices 90% of the time. And then having like your margarita and your meal on a Saturday night, but making, not that your only indulgence, but you know what i mean? Not taking the complete test apart from that.
00:47:48
Speaker
And I think the step to do what you're saying, because I totally agree with you. It is like, what you want to do is as you're taking things on, you want to be like, this is for life. So don't do something to lose weight that you're not willing to do forever because as soon as you stop doing it, you what mean? Like if you hate running, don't start fucking running. Like, you know what I mean?
00:48:03
Speaker
but create is yourself But I think the trick with deep letting go of the things that that no longer serve you is done by crowding them out. but So by starting by putting things in. What can add to my life? What can i add to my plate? What can I add to my diet? And that's if you look at it and then you're looking at it as from mindset of abundance.
00:48:24
Speaker
And then the little bits fall off then. And then, oh yeah, like, so like I remember initially when I started trying to eat better, it was like I wanted to have a protein smoothie in the morning, but I really missed my toast and butter. So I used to say, right, I'll have my protein smoothie.
00:48:37
Speaker
And then I'll have my toast and butter for like dessert. Yeah. I've that for ages. And I was really fucking full. And after a while I was like, do you know what? I actually don't, I don't want my toast now.
00:48:49
Speaker
So then it ended up, my toast just went to, with my scrambled eggs at lunch instead. You know mean? So suddenly it just fell off. Like, but that's just like a minor example. But over time, like we go back to just tie things up with taking the time limit off.
00:49:01
Speaker
When you take the time limit off, you'll, these things will fall off. Like you obviously that it's going to require focus. It's going to require effort, but it'll also feel really, really good. It'll feel hard, but it will also feel good along the way. And it's, it's never about like restricting to the point that you're miserable in life.
00:49:19
Speaker
No, of course not. If anything you want to add more, like for example, like for, Freddo's like let's say they're 45p now so there's no way on God's green earth I'm paying 45p for a Freddo over my dead body so I am buying the five Freddo's in home bargains for 150 the problem is that one Freddo tastes like five so instead of being like I can only have one Freddo and this is the only thing I have and I can't have anything else have a Freddo have a yogurt with it have some pineapple and a few raspberries and a handful of popcorn create yourself snack plate that's 250 calories or 300 calories depending on your brand of yogurt and then you're also getting like
00:49:53
Speaker
20 grams of protein, maybe even a wee baby meal in there and you're also getting more volume. You're not going to overate that, but you're actually adding more to your plate rather than you're giving yourself more. More. get your results, which is, know what I mean? It's about what you can add.
00:50:07
Speaker
It's like, can I add a little bit of time for myself here? Can I add a bit more energy here? And think people view a healthy lifestyle as major, major sacrifice, but actually what you're actually doing is choosing freedom. And this is the thing is that like, I used to refuse, but like, oh my God, I do not want to restrict my food. I want complete freedom over everything I eat.
00:50:25
Speaker
But by giving myself complete and total freedom over everything I eat, I say freedom and inverted commas because everything, food have made a show cold, so it was the opposite. But by giving myself complete freedom over what I wanted to eat, I took freedom away from every other aspect of my life. My physical capabilities, how I felt about myself, what I was able to wear, things I was able to physically do, my confidence, my happiness, like my ability to travel.
00:50:49
Speaker
So anything like... like putting an outfit together, packing for a trip became an Olympic sport. So by deciding I want to complete total freedom over my food, it took away freedom for other aspects of my life.
00:51:00
Speaker
If I give myself a little bit more restriction over my food, and that doesn't mean that you only lick a lot of sleep and sip a Diet Coke, it means that you nourish your body with good whole foods 90% of the time and still have a little bit of what you fancy by adding a little bit more discipline and like structure to what I eat.
00:51:17
Speaker
I give myself more freedom in every other aspect of my life because my clothes fit better. I feel more confident. Getting dressed doesn't feel like I want to absolutely rip my fingernails out in frustration. Like I get excited about trips. I get excited about weddings. I am actually physically capable of going on a hike. If my friend asked me to go on a paddleboard and sounds great instead of rather I want to shoot myself in the face because I won't be able to stand up on the board.
00:51:36
Speaker
Like different things like that. And it actually gives you, it's like a freedom exchange. So and this is the thing if you want, to You have to have to ask yourself what is actually freedom and what is a cage that you're refusing to fly out of?
00:51:50
Speaker
Oh, baby. What do wait to finish? I'll finish this point, right? The best bit of advice I ever got when it came to making decisions and stuff you know breaking away from these rules and prisons that you kind of create create for yourself with these diets or you know or the freedoms that you create yourself to create new prisons for you.
00:52:08
Speaker
is just asking in every moment, asking yourself this one question, is this an act of love? Yes. Like just, and and like I live by this now and sometimes it is, sometimes it isn't an act of love and you know what But it just brings that self-awareness.
00:52:23
Speaker
I just think it's so, so powerful. 100%. Nicole, thank you so much. This has been an amazing conversation. I could keep talking to you all day, but... Never take me for talking. I will be here all day.
00:52:35
Speaker
thank you so much no worries thank you for having me and if anyone would like to reach out to you find out a bit more about what you do is instagram the best place yeah diet starts on monday underscore on instagram my profile picture is me in a bright orange dress you'll you'll find me i'm about there somewhere thanks nicole
00:53:00
Speaker
I just want to say thank you so much for listening to the podcast. And i would just ask for one thing from you, if at all possible, could you make sure that you subscribe to the podcast? It really does make such a difference.
00:53:13
Speaker
If there's a particular episode that you've enjoyed, please do share it in your WhatsApp groups, share it on your stories, tag myself and the guest. in your stories. All of these things really do help to grow the podcast. And obviously, if there's anything you'd like to reflect on, please do leave a comment.
00:53:30
Speaker
It would mean the world to me and I will see you on the next one.