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Stay Sparked #49 - "Authenticity"
7 Plays1 year ago
How do we present ourselves to the world? Is that really us? Are we even aware of when we are not being authentic? How can being authentic make you invincible?
HOSTS
BETSY FINKLEHOO is a healer of massage therapy, CranioSacral and Dharma Coaching. She is an 8 year burner and has spent the last several years seeped in the personal development world, cultivating her passion for transformation and growth. Her recent project, The Power Affirmation Journal and virtual group empowers women to cultivate self awareness and healthy habits so they can live in greater freedom, mind body and spirit.
http://poweraffirmation.com/
Click here to get a FREE affirmation for Stay Sparked Listeners!
HALCYON is full-time Love Ambassador. He is the founder of Hug Nation YouTube channel and daily zoom gratitude circles. He is co-founder of the Pink Heart Burning Man camp and the 1st Saturdays project for people experiencing homelessness. In his free time he coaches individuals on how to live joyfully and authentically. His other podcast is "Hard on the 80's."
http://JohnStyn.com
JANUS REDMOON is a 10-time Burner, and has spent the last several years as an advocate for psychedelic medicine research and treatment. He is the founder and CEO of NuWorld Nutritionals, a nutritional supplement company providing mushroom-based, all-natural products to improve and maintain health for both body and mind. (Use code "SPARKED" for 10% off)
http://www.nuworldnutritionals.com
MASSIVE Thank you to Dub Sutra for their beautiful opening music. Check out their incredible music catalogue online.
https://dubsutra.com
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Transcript
Introduction and Today's Focus
00:00:01
Speaker
Welcome to Stay Sparked.
00:00:03
Speaker
On this show, we explore how to stay inspired in the modern world through the most profound lessons from Burning Man, relationships, entrepreneurship, psychedelics, spirituality, travel, and more.
00:00:17
Speaker
On today's episode, we talk about authenticity.
00:00:21
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What does it mean to be our authentic selves and how do we find our way to authentic expression?
00:00:27
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Why is it so scary, but why is it so worth it to undertake a lifelong journey of figuring out who you are?
00:00:36
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Enjoy the episode.
Gratitude and Inspirations
00:00:38
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Welcome to Stay Sparked.
00:00:39
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We are three longtime friends who have been sharing inspiration with one another for over a decade, and now we are sharing those conversations publicly so you can feel the sparks and we can inspire one another.
00:00:49
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I'm Halcyon.
00:00:52
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I'm Betsy.
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And I'm Giannis.
00:00:55
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And we like to start these transmissions with a little bit of gratitude.
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So Betsy, what are you feeling grateful for today?
00:01:04
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I am grateful today for one of my friends who is an artist who is named John Mosley.
00:01:10
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I'm giving a little shout out.
00:01:11
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He made a really beautiful Oracle deck that I've been using every day.
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It's a lot of inspiration that I get to pull from every day.
00:01:19
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And it's called Spirit Cards.
00:01:21
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Um, and if you're watching on our videos, I have the, his art piece on my wall as well.
00:01:25
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It's just really inspiring.
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And I'm just so grateful to have tools to help me to stay inspired and to gain, um, wisdom from this amazing human that has brought through this tool.
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So big shout out to you, John Mosley.
00:01:40
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Thank you.
00:01:40
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Awesome.
00:01:42
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And if you want to see that visual, uh, look for stay sparked on YouTube.
00:01:46
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How about you, Yanis?
00:01:49
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I am grateful on this day for my baby, my baby boy.
00:01:56
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He is two months old, just over two months old, and he's feeling grateful that he's so super chill.
00:02:04
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He's just a chill kid.
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He has his moments where he's a little velociraptor, but that's really...
00:02:09
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few and far between.
00:02:10
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He's mostly just like chill and peaceful.
00:02:12
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And that is definitely kind of translating into my life as well.
00:02:17
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We have a lot swirling on my partner and I have a lot swirling on our lives right now.
00:02:22
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And he is always like this calm little center, even like when we're stressing about him.
00:02:26
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He is this calm little being that is just really, really bringing some like, ah, into our lives.
00:02:32
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So very good and grateful for Rumi and her red moon.
00:02:37
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Yeah, awesome.
00:02:40
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Well, I'm feeling grateful in this moment for the participants of the workshop I did this weekend.
00:02:47
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The first time I'd done an in-person Love Ambassador Summit.
00:02:50
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And it really took a lot of trust for people to show up and let me create a container that we all added to.
00:02:56
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And it was just really a beautiful exploration of authenticity and radical self-expression that I'm just super grateful that what we made together.
00:03:05
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Yay.
00:03:06
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Amazing.
The Journey to Authenticity
00:03:07
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And it's a good segue because today we are going to be talking about authenticity.
00:03:12
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And as we grow up in these human forms, so much of our process of becoming is learning what we should do.
00:03:23
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What should we do?
00:03:24
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What should we do?
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What should we do?
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What are the behaviors and the interactions and how do we fit in?
00:03:30
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How do we avoid getting ostracized?
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How do we avoid getting kicked out of the tribe?
00:03:36
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And at a certain point, we start to realize that this person that we are in the world isn't entirely us.
00:03:45
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It is a collection of the things we've been taught.
00:03:49
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And so then if we are lucky and we have the inspiration and the communities that can kind of help us, we start to peel away the things that aren't us and go on a lifelong journey and quest for what is real, what is true, what is me.
00:04:04
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as opposed to what has been coming from the outside over years, what is coming from the inside?
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Who am I?
00:04:12
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And it is not an aha moment.
00:04:14
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It is a one step, then the next step, then a step backwards, and then a questioning and constant inquiry.
00:04:22
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So I'm really looking forward to talking about this path of inquiry that each of us has been on.
00:04:30
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Do you feel like there was a time in your life that you can look back and go, I wasn't who I am back then?
00:04:40
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Yeah, I think that could be a – that might well be a universal experience for a lot of us, that sense of becoming –
00:04:51
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Although I do, I think we all know some people that were that really felt like they are they are still who they now who they are when they were like five years old.
00:04:59
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Like that was still like they knew what they wanted to be and they actually became that that thing.
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And they just kind of knew had a good strong sense of self from an early age.
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you know, from an early stage.
00:05:10
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I think what might be true for us three, at least, is that, you know, there was this, oh, there was, it was a long journey of becoming that is still under, that is still unfolding.
00:05:20
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But I think we have all come closer or at least closer to the heart of our, of our authentic selves within the last decade or so.
00:05:31
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So there's never, you know,
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I don't think there's a timing aspect of it.
00:05:36
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It all is very particular to each of us as individuals, like when we feel like we are discovering and then embodying our authentic selves.
00:05:45
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So true.
00:05:46
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Yeah, it's an ongoing journey.
Cultural Conditioning and Authenticity
00:05:48
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I think for me, when you asked that question, I was like, oh, wow, I haven't actually considered that.
00:05:53
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But something popped up was one of the first times I really realized I was doing something for someone else to not really be in alignment with who I truly am.
00:06:04
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And so it was I went to college.
00:06:07
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in Ohio because my dad wanted me to stay close.
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And so I went to Kent State and I did the thing because that's what I was supposed to do.
00:06:16
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Midwestern girl, you know, finishes high school, then you're supposed to go to college and do the thing that everyone says you're supposed to do.
00:06:23
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But I knew that that wasn't really what I wanted to do and really who I was, but I just did the thing.
00:06:30
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And so after the third year, I actually came to a big aha and I was like, this is not for me.
00:06:35
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I don't, I really don't like being here.
00:06:39
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And so some things shifted and I had an opportunity to make a choice for myself.
00:06:45
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And in that choice, I really tuned into it.
00:06:48
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what I want, who I really am, and what I'm passionate about, and what I'm curious about.
00:06:54
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And I discovered that I really wanted to learn about massage therapy.
00:06:57
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And so I did.
00:06:59
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I found a school and I chose to leave Kent State University and stop going to all of the classes that I wasn't actually really enjoying learning about.
00:07:09
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And I went to a really great school and I started to learn about anatomy and energy work and massage therapy and things that I was like,
00:07:16
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genuinely interested in studying and I like yeah it was a completely different experience because it was coming from my authentic joy not because I was doing it for someone else because I was I thought that I was supposed to do this thing right
00:07:32
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And I think it's tough because it sounds so obvious, the difference between what you're supposed to do and what you really want to do.
00:07:38
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But it doesn't feel like that as you're in until you can really sit and question it.
00:07:44
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Often the things that we think we want are the product of the things that we've been accultured, you know, as they brought up and things we've seen on TV or the things our parents talked about.
00:07:54
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You know, most people vote the way their parents did, not because they believe those things,
00:07:59
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from their inherent divine source, but because that's what you were raised, the values that you were given.
00:08:05
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And then you go through a process of trying to discern, is that real?
00:08:11
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And I think that that is such a valuable practice of going back and going, where did this belief come from?
00:08:21
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I think when you start to really get, look at the things that you care about and you believe in, there's things that you learned from outside.
00:08:29
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There are things that you learned from like a trusted source, a trusted person.
00:08:34
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And then there are things that you experienced genuinely, you have a personal experience.
00:08:38
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And I find that the number of things that I have a personal experience with are way less than I would have thought.
00:08:44
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You know, there's so much of my reality is based on things that I read, things that I heard, things that I heard that I heard, things that I saw.
00:08:51
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And then I want to start to question, I'm like, actually, I don't know if that's true.
00:08:58
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I just wrote something down that sparked for me is like, you know, in the curiosity of who am I?
00:09:04
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I think we all get to a place in our lives at some point of asking who am I?
00:09:08
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And then it like what continued on was who am I without the projections of the outside world?
00:09:14
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Right?
00:09:15
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Because it is kind of a common thing that our parents and society kind of like say you should do this or this is how you are going to be or you shouldn't do that.
00:09:24
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You know, I hear.
00:09:25
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A lot of people say that, you know, of their artists, my mom even went through that, like she was an artist and her dad, her dad was like, well, you can't do art for a living.
00:09:34
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So you better stop trying to be an artist, you know?
00:09:36
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And so the projections of, you know, not being able to do certain things then start to imprint.
00:09:42
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Right.
00:09:42
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So who am I without other people's projections of who they think that I am or how society.
00:09:47
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says that I should be right.
00:09:49
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Who is that?
00:09:50
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Like the truth of my soul and how does the authentic version of my soul show up on this planet?
00:09:57
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And that's a very deep place to start to look and to explore.
Discovering Authenticity through Experiences
00:10:02
Speaker
And it can be really scary, especially if, you know, we're locked into a career path or a life situation,
00:10:09
Speaker
that is not coming from a place of authenticity.
00:10:12
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You know, I was just talking to a friend this weekend about this new career path he's being presented with.
00:10:19
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His kids are grown or both turning 19 this year.
00:10:22
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They're moving out and his like last career path is kind of like completing.
00:10:26
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And he's like, well, who am I now?
00:10:28
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I'm not this dad, you know, I'm like, I'm dad, but it's different, you know?
00:10:32
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So he's getting to be in that deep exploration around who he is and who he's becoming based on authentic
00:10:38
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expression of this part of himself.
00:10:42
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Yeah.
00:10:43
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It's reminds me of a, of a fictional writing class.
00:10:47
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It's like back in college where the professor astutely said like, okay, if your story is not answering the question, who am I for the main protagonist, then your story is, is worth, is not worth telling.
00:11:00
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That is the only story worth telling is there needs to be a discovery of who I am by your main character or group of characters.
00:11:08
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And that applies to life as well.
00:11:10
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Like, like you have got to be that that needs to be your main.
00:11:14
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I mean,
00:11:15
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mission in life, I think, uh, overriding everything else in addition to what you're doing is like, okay, so who am I?
00:11:21
Speaker
And, and, and does that person like that see, like your inquiry about, you know, back in college, like, okay, who am I?
00:11:28
Speaker
And is this serving that person?
00:11:30
Speaker
And often, you know, if the answer is no, you got to make a move.
00:11:34
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And as far as being shown that,
00:11:38
Speaker
You know, as we as we do so often here, just bringing it back to Burning Man.
00:11:41
Speaker
I mean, one of the first moments is one of the that's one of the first moments in life where
00:11:48
Speaker
I was removed from the outside world.
00:11:51
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Like, how soon you're talking about, like, you know, my beliefs and my motivations are influenced by the outside world.
00:11:56
Speaker
And when you get outside of the outside world or at least removed from it, and Burning Man is a fantastic way to do that.
00:12:04
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It's one of the few ways to do that, really.
00:12:06
Speaker
And then you kind of, I realized for the first time, I'm like, I had been wearing like this mask.
00:12:11
Speaker
my entire life, I have changed masks, but I'm in some place for the first time where I don't need to wear that.
00:12:18
Speaker
And who am I without that mask?
00:12:20
Speaker
And it was a really existential moment my very first year, but then come to come to realize like, oh, I actually like who I am in that process of discovery.
00:12:31
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And that was really like mentioned before, like this has been a, a, some, you know, somewhat recent revelation for a lot of us.
00:12:39
Speaker
And really discovering who I am over the last 15, 20 years of life has been a profound shift.
00:12:47
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And my life has reflected that as a result.
00:12:50
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Coming from that authentic place, I've seen my life bloom in ways that I wouldn't have experienced before and certainly would not have appreciated before.
00:13:00
Speaker
But being authentic feels pretty good.
00:13:03
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Yeah.
00:13:05
Speaker
Well, it's exhilarating and terrifying because, you know, before you start questioning, you have a script.
00:13:14
Speaker
You know what path you're supposed to be on.
00:13:17
Speaker
You know what you're supposed to be doing.
00:13:19
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You know the house that you're supposed to get and the picket bench you're supposed to get and the size of the family and the number of dogs.
00:13:25
Speaker
I mean, you're following the script and it's pretty safe.
00:13:28
Speaker
You know, when I work, you know, with people, there's this moment usually when people get off the path and they recognize, oh my gosh, this path isn't mine.
00:13:36
Speaker
And that first few steps off the path is so scary because it's like everything I thought I was supposed to do, I don't know anymore.
00:13:45
Speaker
And you have to kind of massage your own psyche and be like, this is good.
00:13:50
Speaker
Like, actually, this is super scary.
00:13:51
Speaker
But as you said, Janice, like, it's the only game that matters.
00:13:55
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Right.
00:13:56
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You know, winning a game that you don't want to, that you don't belong in means nothing.
00:14:00
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You only have to figure out the rules of your own game.
00:14:03
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And it's super scary.
00:14:05
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You're the only one that can do it.
00:14:07
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But it's the only game there is.
00:14:09
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And I have to interject here that that game doesn't have a win.
00:14:13
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You win by playing that game.
00:14:15
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Exactly.
00:14:16
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There is no winning or losing that game.
00:14:19
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But you just simply have to play it.
00:14:21
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And you've won by default.
00:14:23
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So...
00:14:26
Speaker
And this goes really into another exploration around vulnerability, right?
00:14:31
Speaker
Because what you're speaking about is scary to like get off of that track, you know, of the storyline that like we're supposed to do these things.
00:14:41
Speaker
But then when you try something new, it's vulnerable, it's edgy, it's a little like, is this going to be okay?
00:14:47
Speaker
And one of the things that I've been learning, and I think this is a really common conversation in a lot of different areas around the power of vulnerability.
00:14:56
Speaker
And I think you probably have seen the viral video by Brene Brown around vulnerability.
00:15:03
Speaker
If not, it's always a great one to watch and I've watched it many times.
00:15:07
Speaker
So just remembering the gift that it is to be vulnerable and to try something new and to put ourselves out there in a way, you know, even just this, us doing this right here, sharing conversations publicly.
00:15:21
Speaker
it feels really vulnerable for us to put our voices out there.
00:15:25
Speaker
And I think that this is a practice of getting in touch with that, like knowing it's safe to be raw and exposed and that we can find our authentic voice.
00:15:36
Speaker
You know, these conversations as well as like, we don't really know what we're going to share.
00:15:40
Speaker
It has to come from authenticity because we're not sitting here with a script and an outline.
00:15:45
Speaker
You know, this is a really powerful place to express and practice our authentic
00:15:51
Speaker
voice and heart and soul and sharing.
00:15:54
Speaker
And I think the more that we do it, the easier it becomes, right?
00:15:57
Speaker
You know, like one of the trainings that I've put myself through is finding my authentic voice through emceeing.
00:16:05
Speaker
So I used to emcee an event that you guys probably came to the community speaker series.
00:16:09
Speaker
And I would introduce my friends to get up and do these talks.
00:16:13
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And I learned that if I would read from a script, the bio of the person,
00:16:20
Speaker
It felt really angular and sort of robotic and kind of crunchy a little bit, and it didn't feel warm.
00:16:27
Speaker
But then when I would speak from my heart and I would just get to share my appreciation for this person that I was going to introduce.
00:16:35
Speaker
something shifted in the room, something shifted in my body.
00:16:39
Speaker
I felt so much more relaxed, more comfortable.
00:16:42
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There was a warmth about it.
00:16:44
Speaker
And so that was a really big insight for me to just really remember to come from the heart and speak authentically.
00:16:50
Speaker
And that is a really beautiful way to cultivate connection and more ease.
00:16:56
Speaker
And it's, it's powerful.
00:16:59
Speaker
Yeah.
00:16:59
Speaker
I mean, you mentioned that, that being authentic, there's a safety or, but there's also a, it's not that safe, you know, that, that, that, that when we follow the script, we know what is, what people are expecting of us.
00:17:11
Speaker
And when we, when you speak without a script, you know, literally without a script and you were introducing people, there's the chance that you might say the wrong thing.
00:17:19
Speaker
There's the chance that you might say what is true for you, but isn't true for somebody else.
00:17:24
Speaker
And that's, you know, the,
00:17:26
Speaker
You have to really fall into a faith that it will be as it should, even if I make a mistake, even if I mess up, even if the person judges me about something that is truthful.
00:17:39
Speaker
In the workshop I did this weekend, there were people sharing just beautiful, really raw things that
00:17:46
Speaker
And there's a common experience of like a vulnerability hangover where afterwards you're like, oh my gosh, I can't believe I shared that with people.
00:17:53
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Like that's, they're going to judge me about that.
00:17:54
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Like that's, oh, that should have been the inside voice.
00:17:58
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And, but it's important to remember that one of my mantras is there's nothing more beautiful than a human being revealing their truth.
00:18:09
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Now, there are some people in this world who do not recognize that beauty.
00:18:16
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and who are dealing with their own stuff and their own insecurities.
Supporting and Holding Space for Authenticity
00:18:18
Speaker
And so they see someone who shows vulnerability and they, they attack it or they say mean things or whatever, but it, it's the person who does that is the same person who would look at the,
00:18:29
Speaker
clouds in the sky and say, they should be puffier.
00:18:32
Speaker
I only like puffy clouds.
00:18:34
Speaker
Well, that's an insane thing to think.
00:18:36
Speaker
You can only love what is and appreciate what is.
00:18:39
Speaker
And you mentioned the courage and the gift to others.
00:18:47
Speaker
As each person shares and shows that bravery, it gives everyone around them an opportunity to see, oh, wow, that is a beautiful thing.
00:18:55
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It's not the glossy packaging that I was brought up to think we're supposed to be, but you feel it.
00:19:01
Speaker
There's a connection to what's real that is just you got to have faith and fall into it.
00:19:07
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We can feel it.
00:19:08
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There's like this subtle energetics, intuitive feeling when somebody is being really true to themselves.
00:19:15
Speaker
You know that person that we've all met, maybe we've been, where you show up and you're like, hey, how are you doing?
00:19:21
Speaker
I'm great.
00:19:23
Speaker
I'm really great.
00:19:25
Speaker
And you can see on their face, they're not great.
00:19:28
Speaker
You know, that's inauthentic or, you know, at least it's like the mask, you know, that so many of us are used to wearing, you know, and it's like, how do we actually learn to take that mask off and know that it's okay?
00:19:40
Speaker
And I really wanted to just kind of go back to something you were sharing about your workshop and about, you know, that vulnerability hangover and, you
00:19:48
Speaker
recognizing how it really empowers other people, you know, to share deeper and that opens up a whole other space of connectivity.
00:19:57
Speaker
I also see how that can help to reduce comparison, you know, because there's, there can be a lot of unhealthy comparison that we do like, Oh, I should, I should speak more like that person or I should be like that person, you know, and we try to be like others when really, if we're like trying to discover who we are as a unique individual,
00:20:17
Speaker
then it's important to really maybe be inspired by other people.
00:20:22
Speaker
Right.
00:20:22
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But really recognize like that unhealthy comparison model is like, you know, can can come up when it comes to this kinds of these kinds of deep shares.
00:20:32
Speaker
Yeah, listening to you both, what what kind of comes with sparks for me is, so there's almost like a like an equation that
00:20:42
Speaker
vulnerability plus being present equals authenticity when you when you are in that moment you kind of drop the prepared script or you drop your your well-practiced way of being and you are present to what is happening in this moment right now it's like you can't help but be authentic because you're responding you're responding and to what is to what is to what is happening um
00:21:11
Speaker
And there's so many good things that come out of that.
00:21:14
Speaker
I mean, vulnerability is a superpower.
00:21:16
Speaker
It took me, you know, when I finally kind of got that, I was able to really kind of allow myself to open up to people a little bit more.
00:21:23
Speaker
And just something good always comes as a result of that.
00:21:26
Speaker
And, you know, over this weekend, I got into a conversation, started a conversation like this.
00:21:31
Speaker
You were saying like, oh, how are you doing?
00:21:33
Speaker
And my friend was, you know, smiling, but was like,
00:21:38
Speaker
can I, can I, can I talk to you?
00:21:40
Speaker
I'm like, yeah, it's absolutely.
00:21:41
Speaker
But we're at a party, but we have these moments and this is how we do in our community, which is what I love.
00:21:45
Speaker
Like we just drop right into what's real and what's happening.
00:21:49
Speaker
And it's some real, real vulnerable shares that came up in that.
00:21:53
Speaker
But that by the end of that conversation, it just, it's something that just puts another brick into this foundation of friendship between this person and I. And it's just one of those things that you just put in your pocket and just, you
00:22:05
Speaker
just the relationship just expands as a result of these just being vulnerable with each other and being being present to hold space and witness someone in their vulnerability
00:22:16
Speaker
is a really, is a really good practice.
00:22:18
Speaker
And to be held in that space too is, is key.
00:22:21
Speaker
So refreshing, so refreshing, you know, the whole like good response.
00:22:28
Speaker
Yeah.
00:22:28
Speaker
Yeah.
00:22:29
Speaker
Yeah.
00:22:30
Speaker
It's not, it's not always like that and I get it.
00:22:34
Speaker
But yeah, not, not everyone is going to receive us the way we deserve to be received.
00:22:40
Speaker
And that's okay.
00:22:41
Speaker
You know, yeah.
00:22:43
Speaker
You mentioned holding space.
00:22:45
Speaker
And I think that just to speak to what that looks like or sounds like, I think that I find myself when I'm hearing somebody be very vulnerable, my mind will make connections to my own experiences.
00:22:59
Speaker
And sometimes there is an instinct to share a story, to connect.
00:23:05
Speaker
And that can be a way to make someone feel safe, but it's really important to be
00:23:12
Speaker
Hold that if you can and simply listen and notice that as you are relating to it and connecting, you're pulling away your attention.
00:23:24
Speaker
And so to try to just come back and be, my only job is to receive and listen.
00:23:27
Speaker
My only job is to receive and listen.
00:23:29
Speaker
And if there is a time that feels right to be like,
00:23:33
Speaker
I have a story that makes, or something happened to me that makes me that, that I relate to that, or I know how that felt, or that reminds me of the way I felt once.
00:23:40
Speaker
That can be good too, but it can be alienating.
00:23:43
Speaker
If someone is feeling super vulnerable and super raw and they trust you with something and then they get the feeling that you were waiting to talk, that can really crush someone.
00:23:52
Speaker
Yeah.
00:23:53
Speaker
Oh yeah, totally.
00:23:53
Speaker
Or if you divert it right away, when she's really vulnerable and then right away you're like, oh, well,
00:23:58
Speaker
Me, me, me, me, me.
00:24:00
Speaker
Oh, right.
00:24:01
Speaker
Yeah.
00:24:02
Speaker
I mean, we did an episode called holding space, I think.
00:24:05
Speaker
Right.
00:24:05
Speaker
It'd be great to go back and listen to that.
00:24:07
Speaker
It was a little while ago.
00:24:08
Speaker
Yeah.
00:24:09
Speaker
And I think that also just in the reflection of the topic today, authenticity, when it comes to holding space, one of the things that I've been really enjoying getting to practice is knowing where my authentic capacity resides when I'm holding space for someone.
00:24:25
Speaker
So recently I had just finished two sessions.
00:24:28
Speaker
I do body work and energy work and I had like, you know, some very deep sessions.
00:24:33
Speaker
And then afterwards I was on my way home and a friend called me and he kind of just started launching into this whole thing.
00:24:39
Speaker
And he was kind of asking me for some advice.
00:24:41
Speaker
you know, and I noticed how I was just really like, I didn't really have it in me to give him advice.
00:24:47
Speaker
I was really, I was coming back into myself and really like hungry and just not really as available to give him, you know, sound advice.
00:24:56
Speaker
And so it felt really good to like give him a little space to share and then to say from a kind place,
00:25:03
Speaker
hey, I want to let you know that I actually am at capacity for what I can offer to you right now.
00:25:09
Speaker
I need to eat.
00:25:10
Speaker
And that's my authentic truth right now.
00:25:12
Speaker
I'd love to give you some advice when I'm a little more resourced.
00:25:15
Speaker
And I think that that's a practice.
00:25:18
Speaker
And then it's so funny because things happen in pairs or sometimes in threes.
00:25:23
Speaker
Then a couple of days later, I had a friend that was sharing with me about his capacity levels and learning how to
00:25:30
Speaker
manage his capacity for holding space for others or being there for others.
00:25:34
Speaker
You know, it truly is a practice of knowing ourselves.
00:25:39
Speaker
What is authentic for me in this moment?
00:25:42
Speaker
And same thing with like, you know, how we take action.
00:25:45
Speaker
If there's an obligation to go do something and it's like we're going to do a thing, like then we feel pressures, maybe it's not authentic.
00:25:55
Speaker
It's, this is a very deep and wide conversation.
00:26:01
Speaker
There's so many different layers.
00:26:02
Speaker
This is so huge.
00:26:03
Speaker
Yeah.
00:26:04
Speaker
I mean, I love this thread of building trust with people that you will trust them to be authentic with their yeses, with their nos, with their I don't have space for this.
00:26:16
Speaker
Because if you know that the other person can, without any reaction or judgment or
00:26:25
Speaker
say the truth, then the conversation becomes so much more profound and deep.
00:26:32
Speaker
Something that my partner, Lisa and I really try to practice of speaking something and whether we say or not, like, you know, I'm responding to this without any judgment or negativity.
00:26:44
Speaker
However, this thing that just happened is there's a, I think that if we could do it differently in the future, it would be easier for me.
00:26:51
Speaker
And if we didn't have the trust built,
00:26:54
Speaker
that could be like, you know, it could cause a retraction and constriction and like, oh my gosh, like I feel bad.
00:27:01
Speaker
But if we can trust that we're trying to, we want a mutually beneficial solution.
00:27:08
Speaker
And even if that means authentically saying, I don't have capacity to be what you need right now, then they go, okay, I can stop trying to guess and I can trust and we can build trust.
00:27:22
Speaker
Yeah, that's yeah, that authenticity is a two way street.
00:27:25
Speaker
It doesn't just mean that we're always going to be received the way we want to be received and vice versa.
00:27:31
Speaker
It's staying true again to to what's what's true in the moment, what's real in this moment.
00:27:38
Speaker
And, you know, there's like it's and like you said, there's this is a far and wide, you know, topic.
00:27:44
Speaker
And I see so many branches that I go off to.
00:27:47
Speaker
But what came what come what came out what comes up for me in this in this moment is like, you know, authenticity is also very wrapped into the idea of consent of all of all types, like and the idea that.
00:28:03
Speaker
Because we had consent for something at a previous moment does not mean that carries over to the to the to the present moment or to a future moment.
00:28:11
Speaker
Because, again, you know, being authentic requires a constant check in and be like, yeah, presence, presence.
00:28:18
Speaker
What's happening right now?
00:28:20
Speaker
What we talked about before or what we did before felt good back then.
00:28:25
Speaker
doesn't feel doesn't feel appropriate in this moment.
00:28:27
Speaker
So I've, you know, I don't have the bandwidth for it.
00:28:30
Speaker
I don't, you know, doesn't feel good.
00:28:32
Speaker
And we both we need to be empowered to be able to say that or to be able to hold that hold that space for ourselves, to advocate for ourselves and also to
00:28:43
Speaker
allow others that that space to do so when in our presence as well like hey housing i need your help with something i don't really feel that you know i don't have time for that today or i've never had time for that whatever it's like and being able to be like and being able to be okay with that you know kind of references that not to delve too far off the topic but it's the idea of asking like when you ask a question for somebody or do you need a favor or whatever and they say no
00:29:08
Speaker
And you're any in any way triggered by that, then you weren't really asking.
Living Authentically and Its Impacts
00:29:12
Speaker
You're you were couching an expectation as an ask in order to feel good about it or to finesse somebody.
00:29:18
Speaker
It's like, no, it's like, well, how could you say?
00:29:21
Speaker
Well, OK, well, let's talk about what you're really trying to do here, what you're really wanting to do here.
00:29:25
Speaker
So let's you know, so that, you know, all falls back under the umbrella of being authentic.
00:29:31
Speaker
like, you know, the way we ask for things.
00:29:33
Speaker
If I really need Betsy to do something for me or no, I will say, hey, Betsy, this is what I really need from you right now or what I would really want to ask.
00:29:41
Speaker
Like, hey, can you do this thing for me?
00:29:42
Speaker
It's like, no, I need this thing for me, Betsy.
00:29:44
Speaker
Betsy's like, no body work for you, Giannis.
00:29:47
Speaker
It's probably fine.
00:29:48
Speaker
You know, whatever.
00:29:50
Speaker
And I hear you a lot differently, too.
00:29:52
Speaker
I've actually gone through that in different situations where the question is coming from a very light place.
00:29:59
Speaker
But when I hear a genuine request that's something that you really need, I will do what I can in my space to adjust to be able to meet you because I really care about you in that way.
00:30:10
Speaker
But if it's like, eh, whatever, then I probably won't put as much effort into making something happen.
00:30:16
Speaker
One of the things around authenticity that was a turning point for me was one time I saw authenticity modeled really powerfully.
00:30:25
Speaker
I went to a women's circle and the woman who was facilitating, she got kind of sick right beforehand.
00:30:34
Speaker
Not like cold sick, but I think she had a stomach bug or something.
00:30:38
Speaker
But right before she got sick.
00:30:39
Speaker
And there was like 30 women at this event.
00:30:42
Speaker
So she decided not to cancel.
00:30:44
Speaker
And she showed up in the fullest authentic way she could.
00:30:50
Speaker
She showed up and she was like, I'm here and I'm going to be here for the next two hours, but I'm letting you know, I am so sick right now.
00:30:57
Speaker
And I want to share with you ladies.
00:30:59
Speaker
And I want to be here with you ladies.
00:31:01
Speaker
And I chose not to cancel, but I want to let you know, I am going to need some support and the facilitation and I need some compassion.
00:31:10
Speaker
and some, you know, presence.
00:31:12
Speaker
And she asked specifically for what she need.
00:31:14
Speaker
She showed up with that full authenticity of where she was at.
00:31:18
Speaker
She didn't try and cover it up, which I really appreciated, you know, and like, that made me feel so in awe.
00:31:26
Speaker
I was like, wow, this woman is modeling profound authenticity, you know, and it was just a really beautiful example to see.
00:31:37
Speaker
At the risk of breaking what I just said about waiting for your opportunity to talk about me, I did just, I mean, this weekend, my experience was in a similar vein where I had scheduled this event that was about authenticity and radical self-expression and involved going out to a nightclub and dancing and dressing up crazy for the Pink Heart fundraiser and everything.
00:31:59
Speaker
And in the weeks leading up to it, I've been dealing with severe pain.
00:32:02
Speaker
And so this vision of the radical self-expression that's for so many years, I've kind of tried to model of being bright and bold and loud and beautiful.
00:32:13
Speaker
That's just not how I've been feeling.
00:32:17
Speaker
And so how do I lead this event where I am not embodying what I was trying to teach?
00:32:24
Speaker
And so I had to sit down at the very beginning and just say,
00:32:29
Speaker
authentic me right now is a much more muted version of me than I've been for a very, very long time.
00:32:36
Speaker
And I just have to have faith that if I and all of us come from an authentic place, we will reach healing no matter what happens.
00:32:47
Speaker
And it did.
00:32:47
Speaker
And it was not what we planned.
00:32:49
Speaker
We went totally different directions and it wasn't about the content.
00:32:53
Speaker
It was about the energy of authenticity and it was beautiful.
00:32:59
Speaker
That's amazing.
00:33:01
Speaker
I just want to fan your flames for a second before you jump in, you know, because if anyone out there hasn't had the chance to meet John Halcyon here or follow him online, you know, I think that you have been one of the more public people to model authenticity, especially in the last year.
00:33:18
Speaker
you sharing on your love mornings every day where you are and what's going on for you and some of the deeper inner workings of your process.
00:33:26
Speaker
And last year, we all got to be witness to you go through sort of an identity shift and really like you shaved your head and you allowed it to be seen.
00:33:38
Speaker
And it was really powerful and so beautiful.
00:33:40
Speaker
And I have a pretty good feeling that it inspired a lot of people to really get into their own self-inquiry around who am I?
00:33:48
Speaker
You know, what is my authentic light look like, right?
00:33:51
Speaker
Without the pink hair or without the facial hair or without, you know, this identity that we build around ourselves.
00:33:58
Speaker
What does my authentic spirit look like?
00:34:01
Speaker
So thank you for that.
00:34:02
Speaker
Thank you so much for finding that way.
00:34:04
Speaker
My true, true pleasure.
00:34:07
Speaker
And it gets so deep because at the beginning of this year when I was dealing with an addiction struggle and a heartbreak and ego uncertainty, it was like, I thought I was being totally authentic.
00:34:23
Speaker
And yet, as I continued to inquiry, there were aspects of myself that were not.
00:34:27
Speaker
It is a lifelong process.
00:34:29
Speaker
And so, you know, I'm now back pink again, but I had to really question, like, is this another mask?
00:34:36
Speaker
You know, and I'm sure I will be giggling at how grounded I feel at this moment as I look back at how, you know, but it's just it is the journey.
00:34:45
Speaker
And I will say that this last year has been filled with a lot of moments of of.
00:34:52
Speaker
Fear, you know, like what will people think of this version of me?
00:34:56
Speaker
That is not what I promised them in the past.
00:34:58
Speaker
What is, this is not the, this is, I don't know what this is.
00:35:03
Speaker
And, and it's been super scary, but as I'm continuing on this path, I continue to get, uh,
00:35:11
Speaker
contacted by people who, who find strength, uh, in, in, in, in parallel paths.
00:35:18
Speaker
So I, I'm going to just keep falling into that faith that there is healing through truth, no matter what.
00:35:25
Speaker
Yeah.
00:35:25
Speaker
I've, and I feel, I would dare say that you are probably resonating with more people
00:35:33
Speaker
in this version of yourself that's really kind of like got its thumb on the pulse of authenticity as opposed to what made your name, what made your image, which was very much like I'm promoting radical self-expression and radical, you were like big, be big, be bold, and so on and so forth, which may, I'll venture, I guess, was not always how you were authentically feeling in that time.
00:35:59
Speaker
Although you were certainly promoting it on a very regular basis and have come to a point, you know, we all have this.
00:36:05
Speaker
We all hit this stage at some point in life where it's like, all right, I need to drop back into what's real because that just I don't know if I can go farther.
00:36:14
Speaker
I don't know if I can go on if I'm not being real.
00:36:17
Speaker
And then.
00:36:18
Speaker
People really, I mean, people love the bold brush version of a lot of things, but I think more people resonate with the real.
00:36:27
Speaker
And there's going to be some people that are like, I don't like this real version of you, quote unquote, real.
00:36:31
Speaker
But it's like, no, it's that that's that's going to that's going to grab more people, certainly.
00:36:37
Speaker
So fake it till you make it is a really powerful tool.
00:36:41
Speaker
And it can be there can be a lot of growth in fake it till you make it.
00:36:43
Speaker
Yes.
00:36:44
Speaker
But there is an advanced course of sit with it.
00:36:50
Speaker
And figure out what's real for you, even if it's not what you want to be, and grow through it.
00:36:57
Speaker
Yeah, absolutely.
00:36:59
Speaker
So powerful.
00:37:00
Speaker
The, you know, practice that I always talk about, and I will keep talking about it is the questions that we ask ourselves really do contribute to our experience of life.
00:37:11
Speaker
And the question that arises in this conversation is, how can I show up in my most authentic self today?
00:37:17
Speaker
You know, is this true for me?
00:37:19
Speaker
Is this authentic for me?
00:37:21
Speaker
What does my highest authenticity look like today?
00:37:24
Speaker
Or what is my, what would my higher self, right?
00:37:28
Speaker
I think higher self is a term that a lot of people use, but I think that also can mean authentic self, right?
00:37:35
Speaker
The most connected self.
00:37:39
Speaker
How can I show up with that level of vulnerability and realness today in my relationships and my work, in my home life and the world?
00:37:51
Speaker
I think it's a really powerful way to move through life.
00:37:54
Speaker
Yeah, there's a good question that a friend of mine suggested that we all ask ourselves.
00:38:03
Speaker
Almost every time when we're about to what we're about to eat, what we're about to engage in, whether, you know, the people at all of it, where we live, what would the what would the highest, truest version of myself be?
00:38:17
Speaker
do in this moment?
00:38:18
Speaker
Would, would they eat this thing and then I'm getting ready to eat?
00:38:20
Speaker
Would they watch this show I'm about to watch?
00:38:22
Speaker
Would they engage with this experience with this person in the way that I'm about to do so?
00:38:27
Speaker
And that is a really powerful question and has allowed me of late to really be live, live more, you know, in my, follow more of an authentic path for myself.
00:38:39
Speaker
Um, I find myself, um,
00:38:42
Speaker
Which can be a little scary because our world, we're in this constant inquiry of who am I and what do I really want?
00:38:49
Speaker
That has a tendency, not always, but I think it has a tendency to shrink our world a little bit because we start favoring quality over quantity.
00:38:58
Speaker
And we realize how just in Western society, we are very much attached to quantity.
00:39:04
Speaker
uh in all things like you know i've got a thousand internet you know internet friends i got 5 000 internet friends and i've got you know friends quote unquote um got you know i've got the nice car i've got this i got that and then you start to realize like there's this
00:39:19
Speaker
It's hard to have quantity and quality at the same time.
00:39:22
Speaker
If we're going to choose one of those two, quality is better.
00:39:26
Speaker
Not to get too hierarchical with it.
00:39:29
Speaker
But yeah, I resonate more with quality.
Reflection and Conclusion
00:39:33
Speaker
So our world tends to shrink.
00:39:34
Speaker
And as long as we're not too thrown by that shrinkage that we might be witnessing or experiencing in our world, we're going to end up with some real juicy nuggets of gold just permeating throughout our lives.
00:39:46
Speaker
A few, but they're quality.
00:39:48
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, that's part of that.
00:39:50
Speaker
Is it from the outside or the inside?
00:39:51
Speaker
The outside shoulds is you should have more.
00:39:55
Speaker
You should have more impact.
00:39:57
Speaker
You should have a larger crowd that you're playing to.
00:39:59
Speaker
You should have more money, more.
00:40:02
Speaker
The inside is...
00:40:04
Speaker
probably saying just be true and trust that the connections that come from the truth are going to be more powerful and deeper and have the ripples that they're supposed to.
00:40:12
Speaker
And one thing that I wanted to share before we start closing is, I had a therapist recently help me question a deep tool for questioning my authenticity, which, because I share a lot very openly and it can become a tactic.
00:40:32
Speaker
you know, it can become a way to, uh,
00:40:36
Speaker
make people put down their guard or even make people like me.
00:40:39
Speaker
And so she challenged me to, as you share, are you sharing from a place of trying to prop yourself up or are you sharing from a place of genuinely trying to connect?
00:40:53
Speaker
And that was really a big one because there are times when I know there are certain stories that people like and make me sound good while I'm being vulnerable.
00:41:05
Speaker
And someone else said, you know, like vulnerability isn't just a raw truth, you know?
00:41:12
Speaker
It's something that you share that someone could hurt you with, you know?
00:41:17
Speaker
And so it's like, am I really trusting you?
00:41:19
Speaker
Am I really open myself to connection in this moment?
00:41:24
Speaker
And so, yeah, just to keep questioning that.
00:41:26
Speaker
So I feel like the more we talk, the more I want to talk about.
00:41:30
Speaker
So let's close this up with some closing sparks.
00:41:35
Speaker
Do you have any, Betsy?
00:41:36
Speaker
Yeah, I think the closing spark is that we should have another episode about authenticity, because this is definitely a lot to cover here.
00:41:48
Speaker
It's just so much.
00:41:49
Speaker
And so, yeah, I think my closing spark for today is really, I'm inspired by looking back at some of the first times that I started to see where I was not living
00:42:03
Speaker
authentically to myself and to my truth and to my path.
00:42:07
Speaker
And I think when I look back at those, I can start to have greater awareness of myself now and really check in.
00:42:15
Speaker
You know, if there's certain things that are aligned to who I am and who I want to be,
00:42:20
Speaker
you know, as a, the path of self inquiry, I think is a really important part of this journey of evolution and to discover those authentic parts of myself is through the self-reflection.
00:42:32
Speaker
So thank you for starting off the conversation with that, um, deeper inquiry around where we've been.
00:42:40
Speaker
So that's my closing spark.
00:42:41
Speaker
And I think I'll probably do some journaling about it and just continue to explore.
00:42:45
Speaker
Yeah.
00:42:49
Speaker
The, you know, what kind of,
00:42:51
Speaker
As a closing spark, what kind of came up for me, Hal, saying when somebody's the idea of the truth is something that somebody could hurt you with.
00:42:57
Speaker
That kind of that hits me in a place that makes me feel like the the the true if you if you've come to terms with your truth, which is just as important as acknowledging it, I think that that's that kind of makes you impervious, kind of makes you like your your your vulnerability.
00:43:17
Speaker
Paradoxically, makes you invulnerable.
00:43:20
Speaker
Because I can bring you my truth.
00:43:23
Speaker
You cannot use it against me because I've already accepted it.
00:43:27
Speaker
It's like, I've never been to prison or anything.
00:43:29
Speaker
But let's say, you know, it's like, oh, you were in prison before.
00:43:32
Speaker
It's like, yeah, yeah.
00:43:33
Speaker
Did five years for armed robbery.
00:43:35
Speaker
And it's like, yeah, yeah.
00:43:36
Speaker
That was who I was.
00:43:38
Speaker
And it's actually still part of who I am.
00:43:41
Speaker
But I am more than that.
00:43:43
Speaker
I am more than this one truth.
00:43:45
Speaker
We contain multitudes.
00:43:47
Speaker
And
00:43:49
Speaker
I heard a comment once that said, if the truth would destroy a thing, then that thing deserves to be destroyed.
00:43:56
Speaker
And...
00:43:58
Speaker
If and applying that to like our lives or our situations or our relationships, it's like, yeah, yeah.
00:44:04
Speaker
Living authentically means you are going to some things are going to get blown up.
00:44:09
Speaker
But what but you know, what grows in its place is pretty is pretty unique to us.
00:44:16
Speaker
And it's in many cases, I think what we're here, what we're here for, what we're here to do.
00:44:20
Speaker
So so, yeah, staying, staying true, staying authentic and embracing those truths, no matter how painful.
00:44:27
Speaker
Um, we're going to, we, we're, we're constantly, you know, surprised, pleasantly surprised what was on the other side of that.
00:44:35
Speaker
So you, you nailed it with the, if you can get to a place where you are truly authentically living, you cease to be vulnerable because you are, as the course of miracle says in my defenselessness, my safety lies.
00:44:51
Speaker
Hmm.
00:44:54
Speaker
And, you know, this is literally to me the main topic to be explored in life, because if we are looking for purpose,
00:45:09
Speaker
And I believe our purpose on this planet, in these bodies, with this consciousness, is not to do anything, but to simply be the most authentic versions of ourselves as we can.
00:45:20
Speaker
And so it's a lifelong process of inquiry, a lifelong process of breaking down and healing from our traumas, and so that we can become a clear person.
00:45:31
Speaker
representation of our truth.
00:45:34
Speaker
And when we do that, no matter what we do, no matter how we act, it will be with the energy of purpose.
00:45:42
Speaker
And that is a liberating place to be.
00:45:44
Speaker
That's what I aspire to be.
00:45:46
Speaker
And I think that the more that we can do that, we inspire others to do it.
00:45:50
Speaker
And as you said, it's not about the number.
00:45:52
Speaker
It's just the clarity of
00:45:58
Speaker
Direction, not distance is what I like to say.
00:46:00
Speaker
If we're going the right direction, it doesn't matter how far you're going.
00:46:03
Speaker
And I think this distance could go very far with this conversation.
00:46:06
Speaker
So where can we find you in this beautiful world, Betsy?
00:46:12
Speaker
Yes, you can find me on poweraffirmation.com where you can learn more about my product, the Power Affirmation Journal and some audio affirmations, which are designed to actually help you get in touch with your authentic self.
00:46:26
Speaker
So you can find one of the free gift is an audio affirmation in the show notes.
00:46:30
Speaker
And I also work with people one-on-one doing multidimensional massage therapy, which includes energy work and sound healing and hands-on body work.
00:46:40
Speaker
So if you're a local, hit me up.
00:46:42
Speaker
You can find more about that on finkelhoo.com, which is my last name.
00:46:47
Speaker
My gosh, multidimensional massage therapy.
00:46:51
Speaker
Sign me the F up for that.
00:46:52
Speaker
Jeez.
00:46:54
Speaker
That's good.
00:46:56
Speaker
I can be found or my company can be found online at newworldnutritionals.com.
00:47:01
Speaker
That's spelled N-U-worldnutritionals.com.
00:47:04
Speaker
We have a nutritional supplements, mushroom-based nutritional supplements designed to elevate your state of mind, helps alleviate systems of anxiety, depression, ADHD, even PTSD, helps with many forms of dementia, Parkinson's, and anything neurological.
00:47:21
Speaker
This is a fantastic product, I'm happy to say.
00:47:24
Speaker
that is well-researched and getting a lot of good results for a lot of people.
00:47:26
Speaker
You can find us once again at newworldnutritionals.com.
00:47:31
Speaker
You can use the code SPARKED for 10% off of all of our products.
00:47:36
Speaker
Awesome.
00:47:38
Speaker
And I am online at johnstyn.com, J-O-H-N-S-T-Y-N.
00:47:44
Speaker
And I just finished the workshop, but if you get on my mailing list, I'd love to let you know when I'm going to do the next one.
00:47:51
Speaker
And you can access thousands of videos at my YouTube channel, Hug Nation, where I've been chronicling a journey of aggressive authenticity for longer than YouTube has existed.
00:48:09
Speaker
That's amazing.
00:48:11
Speaker
Betsy, would you close us out with some affirmations?
00:48:16
Speaker
Yes.
00:48:17
Speaker
I was wondering if maybe just one, because there's one that is coming up for me right now that I have written over here that I look at every day.
00:48:28
Speaker
And the affirmation is, I remember who I am.
00:48:30
Speaker
That's it.
00:48:32
Speaker
Just so simple.
00:48:33
Speaker
So if you like, you're welcome to
00:48:37
Speaker
just close your eyes and maybe take a breath and just really tune into that feeling of remembering who I truly am.
00:48:46
Speaker
I remember who I, who I am.
00:48:48
Speaker
I remember who I am.
00:48:51
Speaker
I remember who I am.
00:48:54
Speaker
And maybe even just adjusting slightly.
00:48:56
Speaker
I am remembering who I truly am.
00:48:59
Speaker
I am remembering who I truly am.
00:49:02
Speaker
I remember who I am.
00:49:03
Speaker
I remember who I am.
00:49:07
Speaker
And just breathing that in and just continuing to come back to that deep place of remembering who we truly are, authentic, unique, beautiful beings.
00:49:16
Speaker
What a gift it is to get to be here with you guys.
00:49:18
Speaker
I'm so grateful.
00:49:19
Speaker
Thank you, Halcyon and Yonas.
00:49:22
Speaker
Sparkies, thank you all for listening out there.
00:49:26
Speaker
We always appreciate you guys letting us know that you're listening.
00:49:29
Speaker
Make sure you get on Apple Podcasts and put a little star, five stars, please, to help spread the sparks.
00:49:36
Speaker
Give us a little shout out.
00:49:37
Speaker
So we love, love, love getting to keep sharing these with you and your support is such a gift to all of us.
00:49:42
Speaker
So thank you.
00:49:45
Speaker
Stay spark, people.