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00:00:01
'Connection before correction' The use of NVR for PDA families.
325 Plays23 hours ago
In this episode, Sarah Stewart from the PDA Society is joined by Tracy Weiner, an NVR (Non-Violent Resistance) practitioner and parent of a PDA young person, to explore how NVR can support families experiencing high levels of distress and conflict.
Tracy shares both her professional expertise and personal experience as a parent, speaking about the realities of parenting a PDA child into adolescence and adulthood. The conversation focuses on how NVR can offer an alternative approach when families are facing situations such as parental violence and aggression (PVA), where traditional strategies may no longer feel effective.
Part 1 introduces the core principles of NVR, including moving away from control and consequences, and instead focusing on connection, presence and de-escalation. Tracy explains how NVR shifts the focus from trying to “fix” behaviour to strengthening relationships and reducing conflict over time.
Sarah and Tracy also explore the emotional impact on parents, including fear, isolation and uncertainty, and how NVR can help rebuild confidence and stability within the family system. The discussion highlights that this approach is not about giving in, but about responding differently to create safer, more sustainable dynamics.
Key Themes
- What NVR (Non-Violent Resistance) is and how it works
- Moving away from control and consequence-based approaches
- Strengthening connection and reducing conflict
- The emotional impact of high-stress family situations
- Rebuilding parental confidence and stability
Deep Diver Subscriber Episode
For those who would like to go further, Part 2, an exclusive “Deep Diver” subscriber episode, is available through our Training Hub.
You can access it here:
https://training.pdasociety.org.uk/pda-podcasts/
Disclaimer
The views and opinions expressed by guest speakers in this podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect those of the PDA Society. While we aim to provide balanced and inclusive discussions, individual experiences and perspectives may vary. The PDA Society is committed to using language and terminology that reflects the preferences of PDA and autistic people, but sometimes our guests may use language and terminology which differs. Appearance on our podcast is not an endorsement of an individual, and not all of our guests will align with our position on the issues discussed.
Further sources of support and information
- PDA Society Training Hub: https://training.pdasociety.org.uk/pda-podcasts/
- PDA Society Website: https://www.pdasociety.org.uk/
- PDA Society Training: https://www.pdasociety.org.uk/support-and-training/training/
- PDA Society Support Service: https://www.pdasociety.org.uk/support-and-training/support/
Guest links:
Recommended
Transcript
Introduction to PDA Society Podcast
00:00:02
Speaker
Hello and welcome to the PDA Society's podcast. We're here to chat about all things PDA to help you understand what people with this profile of autism are experiencing and how you can help.
00:00:13
Speaker
We'll be sharing research, professional expertise and the insights of people with lived experience to help you understand PDA and have more tools to make life easier. So, whether you're a PDA yourself, family member, friend or professional trying to make a difference, welcome from everybody at the PDA Society. We hope you'll find this useful.
Meet Tracy: NVR Practitioner
00:00:38
Speaker
Hello everybody and welcome to this podcast on the topic of NVR. I'm delighted to be joined by Tracy, who is our panelist today, who's going to be answering questions and explaining all sorts of things about the topic of NVR. And it's something that I've personally been looking forward to. So welcome, Tracy, would you like to introduce yourself?
00:00:59
Speaker
Yeah, hi there. Thanks, Sarah. So I'm Tracy and I am a mum to two boys and my eldest is my PDA-er. He's now 19 and I also um support with NVR. I'm an NVR ah practitioner. and NVR is non-violent resistance and I live and breathe and feel very passionate about support for families, particularly around PDA, using and NVR as our kind of toolkit.
Core Principles of NVR
00:01:28
Speaker
Brilliant. us fantastic So maybe if we start off then um thinking about what and NVR actually is, you said it's nonviolent resistance, but can you explain the key principles of NVR and how they differ from perhaps more traditional behavior management approaches?
00:01:45
Speaker
Yeah, I think that NVR ah should be something that as parents, regardless of our children's needs, it should be something that's given because it is all about connection and relationship building. And that's absolutely the focus for the first half, certainly, of the NVR programme. It's all around building...
00:02:06
Speaker
getting to know yourself as a parent and and recognizing how we escalate things, but also recognizing how things escalate in our children and how the two work together. So it's a, it's a, the one, the petp program I deliver is a 12 week therapeutic program. And each week we build, we focus on a different topic and we, we build on that. and I can certainly send a link to um the the the kind of information that we're we're talking about today.
00:02:34
Speaker
okay I think MVR is a certainly a different style of parenting. um it will be By the time you've looked at some of the resources available, you'll be thinking, hang on, this isn't about how I was parented and certainly not how I thought I was going to parent my own child. It is all around rebuilding that connection. One of our mottos is connection before correction.
00:02:57
Speaker
And so it's really about building that trust and relationship before we move into trying to change any of the behaviours that maybe we're struggling with in managing with our children.
00:03:09
Speaker
so So even though it's not a PDA specific approach, it sounds like, ah you know, the perfect parenting tool it for anybody really anyway. So it's just great that it sort of fits with the principles that we hold being PDA parents ourselves around, um you know, it being a much more calm way of parenting. and So, i mean, what are the key principles then of NVR?
NVR Across Relationships
00:03:33
Speaker
so ah first as i said first off and and actually just to go back on that i think it's a tool that is across all relationships not just for us as parents and you know with your parent the child i would say is once you've sort of begun to understand that nvr it works for many relationships your workplace relationships your you sort of marital relationships or your friendships because it is for me it's almost that natural place that i struggled to find and it gave me validation to follow my natural instincts so i think many parents come at it from a first off thinking this is this is really alien but really quickly align it to many aspects of their life and and really nurturing ourselves is where it starts, I think. so So the first sort of main, for me, the main topics that I like to draw out from MVR is is looking at how we escalate and deescalate more importantly, and because when we start to get into this conflict with our children, quite often what happens is we're escalating the situation
00:04:40
Speaker
knowingly sometimes but also unknowingly so maybe our through our body language or through the tone of our voice and we know that's certainly something that our PDA is can pick up on even more so they're hyper alert to all of those things so I think for me being aware of how things escalate and recognizing how things escalated in my child was really helpful so we we we spend a long time looking at that We also focus on a term called parental presence.
00:05:10
Speaker
And that's our kind of of that the space where we are are aware of our core values and our children are able to hold our core values in mind.
00:05:22
Speaker
And therefore, not only when they're with us in the home, but maybe when they're also out of the home. And I think that's the bit that sometimes our children, not always just our PDA is, for example, but sometimes our children can lose sight of. So we look at things in terms of our physical presence with our children, our emotional presence with our children, maybe the kind of support. that we've got around us, whether we feel able to take action in managing any sort of challenges that we come up against. And and I can use the example is that my son wasn't in school, so he was physically present with me all of the time.
00:06:00
Speaker
Emotionally, I was not connected with him because it was exhausting, fighting the school system, trying to support him through the the meltdowns and the distressed behaviours that we were seeing.
00:06:11
Speaker
so I know that I was disconnected from him because I was just trying to survive myself. so So for me, that theme really resonates and it's something that I think that I work on even harder and think about all the time. If I've not seen my boys for, you know, a few hours, it's just about reconnecting in with them, even through a text message or, a um you know, a quick knock on their bedroom door, you know, whatever that might look so I think it's and that's for me where when many of our PDA children and young people they do disconnect from us because they find or can disconnect from their environment because it's overwhelming it's a really lovely way of trying to reach back in without placing too many demands is just being mindful of that yourself and so that that for me is a really big topic that I think is quite powerful for for many families to think about
00:07:04
Speaker
But the thing that I think aligns really well with for PDA and why for me it was just such a relief is the concept of baskets with an
Behavior Management: NVR 'Baskets' Concept
00:07:13
Speaker
MVR. And we introduced the idea of of four baskets to families.
00:07:19
Speaker
The first three are looking at the behaviours. of of the young person and and child. So we have a small basket, which is one or two behaviours that the most priority behaviours.
00:07:32
Speaker
So these could be things around safety, um largely around safety, actually, to fit in with many of us parents' core values. and But it also might might not be safety, it might be school attendance, you know, kind of that real difficulty that we're facing with our our children. So we like to keep that very, very small so that we're not feeling overwhelmed in what we're looking at. at Then we move on to the medium basket, which are some of the behaviors that we we want to address, but we're not gonna look at right now. And then we have this wonderful large basket where we plonk everything else, which is where I think this fits so beautifully with with the PDA strategies, because we can put in there about whether they brush their teeth
00:08:14
Speaker
wash their hair, have a shower every day, pick their towels up, you know all those minor but irritating behaviours that when us overwhelmed, stressed out parents, we zone in on those things because that we feel like they're the ones that we can really focus on. but we know they are the most biggest demands for our young people. We plonk all of those in there and that was so liberating for me to be able to plonk all these things that everybody's saying to me, oh you're not going to let them get away with this are you, you're not going let them, surely they've got to brush their teeth every day otherwise their teeth will fall out. It was a wonderful place to just go, I'm doing this new parenting program and it's a way for me to try something different because everything we've tried before the conventional style of parenting hasn't worked so we're trying this and I could forget about all of those sort of judging sort of comments um so that for me was very cathartic and many families feel that and then the fourth I was just going to say that is so perfectly aligned with our first strategy of the PDA society which is the P yeah which is prioritize and compromise exactly the same messages yeah brilliant
00:09:22
Speaker
yeah Sorry, you were going to say the fourth one. Well, i was going to say the fourth one, which makes me smile because it's the rainbow basket. um And I don't know about anyone that's listening, but sometimes when we're in the thick of it with our PDAs, we lose sight of their positive qualities and the things that make come make us smile about them.
00:09:41
Speaker
And doing the rainbow basket really brings you back to being connected with your child and thinking of those things that make you laugh or those times that they've just shown that little bit of extra kindness because we know all of that's there and it's just the, the you know, the the difficulties that mean they can't always access that. But top of my thing will always be for my son is his sense of humour and his laugh.
00:10:07
Speaker
um and And what we noticed that as families start to connect back in with their children and be more present, actually that rainbow basket grows massively um and um everything else shrinks. So that for me is my favourite basket, because when we do Baskets Week, um which is sort of fairly early on in our programme, we have these very distressed baskets.
00:10:32
Speaker
kind of lists and then we end with this list that just brightens up everybody because you're looking at what you love most about your child so so that that for me is one of the the key concepts and then we build from that so looking at how we can reconnect in with our child by showing them um sort of reconciliation gestures and and i think the thing that also is quite I say unique to NVR, I don't think it's unique in the sense that no other sort of strategies and support looks at it, but it's identifying who our supporters are. We know the whole, you know, the whole kind of and quote of it takes a village to raise a child and very much so that's what it is because when we're in the thick of it,
00:11:18
Speaker
and we can't access services for whatever reason, or our children can't access school, or we can't leave the house, it's really lonely and isolating. So we spend a whole week looking at who are our supporters, but how they can help.
00:11:34
Speaker
So, you know, sometimes, and know certainly for me, realised, whilst it didn't feel like I had any support, but just by thinking a bit more broader and thinking about, you know, my neighbours or a friend that texts every day, how they keep me going, suddenly I realise the small community around us that do support us. And that's quite empowering for parents and families to to really feel that, well, sometimes you can't have somebody that's going to come in and do the the real practical behaviour support. That's not always possible if the relationship's not there. um what
00:12:09
Speaker
Somebody turning up and just bringing you a... you know, your favourite chocolate bar or a drink or sending you a text message is just kind of really supportive. It also reduces that element of shame when you're reaching out to others and just saying, actually, do you know what? I'm struggling.
NVR and PDA Strategies
00:12:27
Speaker
You no longer feel so lonely. and So they're the kind of key concepts around the connecting side. And then we sort of move more into the correcting side, which is how we can... resist some of those behaviours so that we as parents are taking back a little bit more feeling of control in our lives.
00:12:51
Speaker
And ah know that straight away kind of like, well, how does that align with with our PDA strategies? but But it really does because it's not about, we're not trying to control our children. We're trying to control our responses to our children. um And so by focusing only on our small basket behaviors, we're able to start to resist some of the actions that we're having. So I'll give you an example because I always think that that's a nice way of doing it. So for us,
00:13:20
Speaker
Our son very much was in his bedroom 24 seven. And part of my, resist one of my very starting points of my resisting behavior is when he asked for a drink,
00:13:31
Speaker
I would say, yeah, sure, I'll get you drink. I'll leave it in the kitchen for you. And it wasn't saying you've got to come out here and get it or anything. It was just I'll leave it in the kitchen for you. And really slowly he started to come out and get his drink and go back in. And in those moments, we could just have a smile or just, a all right,
00:13:52
Speaker
And all those really low key, low demanding conversations started to happen to the point that then he would start coming out a little bit more. and It might be we would then progress to leaving his dinner out in the kitchen. So so it's not resisting in a kind of authoritarian place. It's very much about aligning really nicely with using our declarative language within NVR and that invitation within PDA and that invitation for our children to come out and and do things rather than it being a demand. so acts of resistance is is a a big one and quite often parents struggle in the concept because it's sort of like right so this is it this is this is where I tell my child what to do but but it's not it is about putting those a planned everything about MVR is about planning our response because we've thought it through before we were striking when the iron is cold rather than when the iron is hot. There's all these little mottos that I'm going to slip in at different times. and You know, when when things have escalated, we will, our instinct sometimes is to,
00:15:00
Speaker
have that conversation immediately. but we know that many of our young people and ourselves take time to calm down. So NVR very much is about striking when the iron is cold. And for my son, he can take a week to calm down from ah you know an escalation over certain things. So knowing that and giving ourselves permission to delay our action and delay the response that we might do, picking our battles, you know picking our battles of what we're going to talk about, um kind of aligns really nicely and it gives you that permission again to to not jump in and place more demands on on your young person.
00:15:36
Speaker
Yeah, and I think what what I'm sort of hearing as well is that yeah sort of when it comes to parenting, you know it can be a very lonely place. And, you know, it's that it's exhausting for the parent constantly being alert thinking of how they're going to manage their child's behaviour. But the thing that's striking me about the NBR is that it's every member of the family. That is, you know, it's really nurturing for everybody, not just the child. So, so yeah, that's really great to hear. And I think that's a really good point, Sarah, actually, because the one thing that NVR does is, you know, so sometimes, you know, and I know certainly for for us, my husband and I, we possibly took slightly different parenting styles. I may have adopted a more nurturing, looking like I look let a few things slip. a bit more than maybe others might. And whereas my husband would take a more sort of stricter view and a bit more perceived to be a bit more boundaried and authoritarian approach. and And I think the lovely thing about and MVR is it brings you back into the kind of warm but firm part of this line. um I've got a graphic in my head so I can share that with you.
00:16:48
Speaker
And it just helps you to be on the same page. So when you're parenting together, be it whether you were in the same home parenting together or whether you co-parent, I think it's a really lovely way for you to be aligned on your parenting. um to offer that that that tolerance of uncertainty that we know our PDAs struggle with, at least if our parenting is aligned and the other house members, so that might be siblings or wider family members, we're all following that same approach. We all know what's in our small basket.
00:17:22
Speaker
We all know what we're going to let let go and we all know that we don't need to kind of then second guess what the other person's thinking within the room so or you know the situation so yeah it very much does bring a togetherness for siblings as well yeah and where did it originate from So historic roots stem back to the civil rights movement and sort of the, and you know, Gandhi and Martin Luther King, Rosa Parks and their kind of so their stance on non-violent
Historical Inspirations of NVR
00:18:00
Speaker
resistance. And and it became about that. So it's developed by Omer. And he wanted to bring together some practical tools and some strategies that parents could use that are struggling with this, the violence that that some of their children were presenting. and And so what he's developed is this kind of toolkit for us to be able to resist
00:18:29
Speaker
resist violence without using escalation ourselves. um And it's, I mean, originally it was more, you know, set up for, um you know, maybe more the more obvious difficult behaviours. And I think that certainly over the years and the time that I've been using NVR, ah you can see how it just weaves in across all needs and all relationships. um You know, what what they were trying to kind of pull out is that
00:18:59
Speaker
when we are feeling and threatened, quite often we will escalate. So NVR ah is all about being able to deescalate conflict and those peaceful protests that we we you know we see, don't we? We see in the news when when there's there's peaceful protests and that's the same for us as our pet as parents.
00:19:20
Speaker
is that we can find ourselves in situations where we're drawn into a conflict um that we don't know how to get out of. So I think that's where it kind of stems from, is being able to, that kind of the the civil rights movement, and thinking of Gandhi with the Salt March, and Rosa Parks with her sitting on the bus, um and impacting change in that so that the outcome of of of their and peaceful protests has meant that we now have big changes within our within our world.
NVR in Educational Settings
00:19:57
Speaker
Can NVR strategies be adapted for schools or social care or even clinical settings? I mean, how how well known is it?
00:20:07
Speaker
That's a really good question. and Well, I still feel I'm fairly new to NVR, but I've realized I've been using NVR for six years now. I finished my course just before and we started about six years ago, finished just before lockdown um arrived. And I am so grateful for that because I think that it gave me a tool to be able to manage those really challenging months that we all had. um I would love to see NVR ah within schools. And I know that within Renfrewshire, they have developed a whole county approach and to using NVR within schools.
00:20:44
Speaker
and And I think that schools is a really good place for NVR to sit because connecting with our children, using whole school, whole family approach is really going to get the best results for children. I think a really for NVR.
00:21:00
Speaker
I think it moves away from maybe this rewards and consequences that we certainly know doesn't work for our PDAs because yeah we're not looking... you There's nothing in NVR that is a sticker chart or a consequence because it's about natural consequences. When we're not battling every every little thing and when we've got that connection with our child, it means that they know how we're going to respond. They know what our expectations are. We don't need to say them because we've made that connection and they've built our trust, which we know that that's so important for our PDAs.
00:21:36
Speaker
And so we don't, you know, we don't, we certainly don't go down the road of, putting in consequences. We use the term which I've spoken about already acts of resistance because we are choosing to maybe um put in an act of resistance in order to develop skills or to change the way that an outcome of you know a behavior might look and but it's not there as a consequence for for that young person. Natural consequences the way that we go So then we can come back and talk about it. So, you know, if something's happened and
00:22:13
Speaker
something got broken, you know, we know when our PDA has maybe become dysregulated, if their thing is to throw and their favourite game controller gets broken, the natural consequences that we can't play with it right now.
00:22:32
Speaker
It's not that we need as parents to put any sanction in place. And I think that's why I really like NVR ah because it is about that situation bit more fluid. it's it's It's much more nurturing. It's much more trust-based and less power within the the relationship between parent-child.
00:22:54
Speaker
Yeah, and that's that's such an important point for PDAs because we know that hierarchy just doesn't exist for a PDA. It's not that they're being deliberately defiant or rude, but everybody's equal. yeah they They want that sort peer-to-peer or adult-to-adult discussion. um And yeah, that's just the way forward with them. So I think you know natural consequences, we speak about those a lot in our training programmes, but that's just essentially...
00:23:19
Speaker
um allowing them to make the connections themselves that if I do this, this is going to happen. which removes you as a parent having to tell them that that will happen, which they won't listen to anyway, because, you know, and it's just, yeah, as you say, it's a much more natural and fluid way of them joining the dots themselves, really. Yeah, which is one of the kind of topics we also look at is is sort of reconnecting conversations or reconciliation conversations. You know, it's kind of that when there has been that, you know, that disconnection or a disagreement or some upset,
00:23:56
Speaker
We need to come back and talk about it, but it's done in a very non-blaming, non-shameful way. um It is a level conversation because there's always two sides to something. And and often when we sit down and chat about it, when the striking, when the iron is cold again, so that could be a week or two after the event, um is that actually we get to hear the other person's side of it and it gives our our young person that voice, gives them the chance to also reflect um on on things.
00:24:30
Speaker
doesn't always work because that's the nature of of PDA. It's not always going to work and sometimes we have to just make that decision that it's not within our priority to to continue that discussion. But it's it' certainly opened up communication and and when I see the difference in my son now and some of the things that he does,
00:24:52
Speaker
I see that it's because the long process, you know, NVR isn't a quick fix. It is a journey. It's a lifestyle change um because you're using different language. You're using in the same way as, you know, with with PDA, we're using...
00:25:08
Speaker
a completely different style of language through the declarative language. It's the same within NVR, and that's where they align so nicely. But the long game is you start to see the results and the the differences, and then you start to see those little...
00:25:24
Speaker
reconciliation gestures like bringing me a cup of tea when I've had a bit of a difficult meeting or a difficult day or I'm a bit more snappy and he'll bring me a cup of tea and go I thought you needed this you suddenly go wow that's turning tables and and I'm yeah you know I never thought we would get to that point never thought we'd get to that point and this week I've had two cups of tea brought to me in my favourite mate rainbow mug so that for me is a ah win um absolutely gosh that's amazing But I guess, you know, what are some of the common misconceptions about NVR ah that, you know, you're bound to encounter?
Misunderstandings of NVR
00:26:00
Speaker
So not all children are physically violent. So people go, it's not appropriate for me because my my child doesn't physically hurt me.
00:26:12
Speaker
I'm kind of like, oh, it is still for you. You know, if you're you're here because you're struggling with your children's how to connect with your child for whatever reason, then this is for you. Because, you know, not not all children are physically violent. They might turn that harm onto themselves or they might um isolate themselves in their room or away from others. So it's...
00:26:33
Speaker
it really does kind of support every kind of need but that's ah often a misconception. I think the other thing is that we hear is I'll take whatever it is to for you to fix my child. We don't work with, NVR isn't about working with your child, the NVR process is about working with us as parents and then we see that change in the children because we're modelling behaviours, we're not jumping down their throats over everything. We're not nitpicking over the the the demands of life that just aren't important because we've we've got rid of those in our big basket. And slowly our children start to see that we're not these nagging, strict, overpowering parents. We are there to...
00:27:23
Speaker
build trust with and earn that respect which is sort of sometimes lost I think and it's something as parents can be um we talk about a lot is having that that respect but that mutual respect because as you've just said Sarah we know our PDA is C themselves as equal to us and for me that was that big shift in able to to do that um is to be alongside my child and use an mvr ah to do that but i think there some of the misconceptions is that it's it's and that it's a quick fix i see right i'm going to come to this course you're going to tell me what to do and everything's going to be okay
00:28:03
Speaker
It's not that. It's long, I mean, it's a long haul because it is a lifestyle change and we're going to wobble off like we do maybe if we're giving up chocolate for whatever reason and we go, we walk past the chocolate shop and go, I'm just going to have one. And then that's the same with using NVR. You know, yeah i still have moments now where I'm not proud of myself for some of my responses, but I know how to go back in repair. It's okay to say sorry. Yeah. And and I guess it varies what age the child is when they run into difficulties with challenging behaviour. So you've got potentially all those years of stuff to to undo almost um and start again. So it is going to be a long, long process. you know, long process and not a quick fix. So I guess that sort of links nicely to the next question, which is what challenges might families or professionals face when first trying to implement and NVR? Okay, so yeah, I think this is a ah ah common one that people face. So, you know, but we we spend our first week and looking at de-escalation. If you're naturally in that position where you take the the more kind of authoritarian approach to your
00:29:16
Speaker
your interactions with your children that you'll do as I say, not as I do, and then then actually that to soften that sometimes and feel equipped in yourself to be able to just wait and be patient and and not respond can be quite tricky. i think that...
00:29:35
Speaker
maybe the judgment of others um I suppose one example that comes to mind which comes up so much in the work that I do is school attendance if you're choosing that actually the battle to get your child to school every day and the impact of of them struggling every day is not one that's going to fall in your small basket and you've got school saying, well, they need to be in school, you know, attendance is low. I guess that's a really good example of why it needs to be a whole child approach um for families to feel supported that they will get there, but that needing to try something different because the battle or the violence or the
00:30:20
Speaker
distress of the child to get them out the door every morning is one that they they can't continue with right now whilst they're learning a new new way of being able to support their child so I think that's one of the kind of challenges that that comes out quite a bit when they first when you first start is this internal conflict of um well I was parented this way or this is how I think I should be doing it or And then you've got outside the kind of influences coming in. i think that's one of the things is to be able to just stand strong and believe in the process. We say that a lot to our families is believe in the process. I know you want to step ahead to the end and see where we're going to be, but we need to start and go really slowly. um
00:31:06
Speaker
And that's true for our PDAs, isn't it? We need to stop and go really slowly for them as well. Yeah. Wow, and and I guess, you know how do you respond to concerns, you know might be a generational thing or from well-meaning people where they say that NVR might feel too passive or too soft and it's just a soft way of parenting?
00:31:30
Speaker
I think it's about showing that it isn't that. I think the strategies we often, you know, we start with strategies from day one and in that that sense. and It's not that you're letting them get away with it.
00:31:44
Speaker
It's the terminology that we use as parents. So I'm not letting him get away with and throwing his wrapper on the floor. I'm just not using it as the priority to speak to right now.
00:31:57
Speaker
um and And having, a as we say, a lot of NVR is about planning. So planning our responses to those situations that might come up we we do tend i tend to run my sessions as groups but you know it works one-to-one as well i do some one-to-one work um because then you get that dedicated time within your week where you start to really focus on it and so it kind of gives you that empowerment and confidence to be able to
00:32:30
Speaker
speak out to those maybe those people that aren't quite on board yet yeah absolutely um and you know as soon as we hear from parents that you know once they make that mindset shift that actually this is what is going to work for my family then it's nobody else's concern and you've got that power and they you know the um courage to actually stick with it. I think that's brilliant.
Family Transformations with NVR
00:32:54
Speaker
So we're almost at time for this particular podcast.
00:32:58
Speaker
We're going to discuss in more detail um some other topics around NVR in our other second part of this podcast, which will be available to subscribers. But I just guess in somewhat, or to finish off on a high, what changes do you typically see in children and families or relationships where and NVR is used consistently?
00:33:22
Speaker
you see love come back again and fun and smiles on parents' faces. by the I mean, i feel I feel so emotional just saying this, thinking of my own journey, but also so all the all the families that I've worked with.
00:33:38
Speaker
We arrive at that very first session absolute despair don't know where to go helpless i've got no one i don't know who to turn to i've got this child i don't know what to do with and by the i mean you know 12 weeks is not really that long in in the scheme of things by the end what you see is people heads held high they've got a toolkit where they feel like maybe once in a week they're going to be able to do something right and sometimes many more and they feel empowered kind of this whole liberation sort of happens um and that for me is kind of why I think it's so important for families to be able to have that opportunity because you feel that connection back with your child and things don't feel so heavy anymore um and seeing people or hearing people tell you stories that they never thought would happen in their relationship with their child again. You know, they might have had a conversation or their child was able to come and sit in the room with them, or they've gone out and shared a fun activity together. Um,
00:34:49
Speaker
without the same issues occurring. i think it's it's that that really kind of keeps everybody going. i think that's the bit that keeps families motivated and or wanting that little bit more. So really the change in relationship with with your child.
00:35:05
Speaker
Oh, gosh. Do you know what, Tracey? It's been absolutely fascinating and just, you know, just really, really great. I think, you know your passion for the topic absolutely comes through. And we'll certainly include some links if people want to find out further information about NBR. But I'd just like to say a huge thank you for your time. And I'm really looking forward to part two. So thank you.
00:35:27
Speaker
Lovely. Thank you. So if you want to hear more from today's special guest, then there is a longer version of this podcast available over on our training hub. Sponsors of our training hub make it possible for us to create and put out this podcast for everyone for free.
00:35:42
Speaker
As a thank you, they get free access to all recordings and self-guided training on our training hub. Thank you, subscribers, for your generosity. If you'd like to become a subscriber, there's a link in our show notes.