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Declarative Language with Linda K. Murphy
712 Plays8 days ago
In this episode, Gemini from the PDA Society is joined by Linda Murphy, author of The Declarative Language Handbook and The Co-Regulation Handbook, to explore how declarative language can support PDA children and young people.
Linda explains the difference between declarative and imperative language, and why shifting from telling and directing to wondering and noticing can reduce anxiety and defensiveness. The conversation explores how questions, commands and corrections can inadvertently increase demand sensitivity, particularly for children with a PDA profile.
Gemini and Linda discuss how declarative language creates space for autonomy, supports problem-solving, and strengthens connection. Rather than giving instructions, declarative statements share observations, feelings or information, allowing the child to process and respond without feeling controlled.
Part 1 focuses on understanding the principles behind declarative language, how it supports co-regulation, and why small shifts in communication can have a powerful impact in both home and school settings.
Key Themes
- The difference between declarative and imperative language
- How direct instructions can increase anxiety for PDA children
- Supporting autonomy and problem-solving through communication
- The link between declarative language and co-regulation
- Reducing demand while maintaining connection
- Using language to create safety rather than compliance
Deep Diver Subscriber Episode
For those who would like to go further, Part 2, an exclusive “Deep Diver” subscriber episode, is available through our Training Hub.
You can access it here: https://training.pdasociety.org.uk/pda-podcasts/
Disclaimer
The views and opinions expressed by guest speakers in this podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect those of the PDA Society. While we aim to provide balanced and inclusive discussions, individual experiences and perspectives may vary. The PDA Society is committed to using language and terminology that reflects the preferences of PDA and autistic people, but sometimes our guests may use language and terminology which differs. Appearance on our podcast is not an endorsement of an individual, and not all of our guests will align with our position on the issues discussed.
Further sources of support and information
- PDA Society Training Hub: https://training.pdasociety.org.uk/pda-podcasts/
- PDA Society Website: https://www.pdasociety.org.uk/
- PDA Society Training: https://www.pdasociety.org.uk/support-and-training/training/
- PDA Society Support Service: https://www.pdasociety.org.uk/support-and-training/support/
Guest links:
Linda’s website: https://www.declarativelanguage.com/
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Transcript
Introduction to PDA Society Podcast
00:00:02
Speaker
Hello and welcome to the PDA Society's podcast. We're here to chat about all things PDA to help you understand what people with this profile of autism are experiencing and how you can help.
00:00:13
Speaker
We'll be sharing research, professional expertise and the insights of people with lived experience to help you understand PDA and have more tools to make life easier. So, whether you're a PDA yourself, family member, friend or professional trying to make a difference, welcome from everybody at the PDA Society. We hope you'll find this useful.
00:00:38
Speaker
So welcome to the PDA Society podcast.
Meet the Host and Guest
00:00:42
Speaker
I'm your host Gemini and today we'll be talking to Linda Murphy, the author of The Declarative Language Handbook and The Co-Regulation Handbook.
00:00:51
Speaker
um So I'm really excited to be talking to her today, um both as from the PDA Society as a trainer, but also as a parent as well. i found the books incredibly useful for my parenting journey.
00:01:05
Speaker
So Linda, would you like to introduce yourself a little bit before we get started? Sure, and thank you so much for having me. It's a great honor to be part of the community here. So I really appreciated the invitation and opportunity to share my work and just talk lots and lots about declarative language, the topic I think so much about. um But I'm a speech language pathologist. I have been for over 25 years now and then also relationship development um, consultant since 2007. And I just bring both of those mindsets and hats kind of to the work that I do. I have a private practice. I live North of Boston um, yeah. And I think we all do our best, um, at my practice to just really live by the the values I think that the approach brings. It's not so much, I know we'll get into it, but it's not so much, um,
00:02:00
Speaker
I mean, it is a strategy, but it's also an an approach in a way of being in a mindset that we all practice at at peer projects. Fabulous. Thank you so much. So um there are so many things that um I want to, I want to ask you today.
Understanding Declarative Language
00:02:16
Speaker
um But I suppose the first one is, is what led you to develop the declarative language handbook and, and why do you think that declarative language is so powerful for children with PDA and sort of related profiles?
00:02:31
Speaker
Yeah, and where i always like to start is just giving credit to the people that taught me about declarative language and that's the RDI community, specifically Dr. Steven Gutstein and Dr. Rochelle Sheely, who are the founders and created creators of RDI.
00:02:46
Speaker
um So in 2007, I learned about declarative language and it wasn't a specific strategy that i learned about in graduate school to become a speech therapist. But yet, as I learned about it through the RDI community and then practiced it with RDI families, but also just individual clients coming for speech language therapy, i' just really found it to be such a powerful tool, like just so immediately connecting and respectful for the individuals that we're with. So I think RDI introduced it to me and helped me see the beginning power of it
00:03:23
Speaker
And then and then i just realized the application could be beyond RDI families and really useful to a lot of families. And so I ended up writing declarative language handbook just to help increase the accessibility of the tool to kind of a broader broader audience or just more people in general. Yeah and it's it is really accessible the way you've written it it's um it's not a big book you know it's it's an easy read and I love just the the very um kind of the little tools within it you know the checklists and the kind of practicing and things like that so it is a it is a ah really fantastic book. It's not too heavy. um And, you know, sometimes you can have books that are quite heavy. And this is really accessible. And you start using the clarity for language straight away, if you know what I mean. And I think that's, um yeah, behind the book. de Yeah. And I think that was, yeah, that was like, one of my goals is like, we're all busy. And let's just get to the heart of what might be helpful so that people can think about it and give it a try.
00:04:30
Speaker
Rather than like be bogged down too much by theories and and denser text textbooks and that sort of thing. And I think as well, by the time, ah you know, by the time maybe in my experience, by the time a parent gets to that point where they're like, right, OK, what are some more strategies that I can use? Maybe you spent a very long time waiting for a diagnosis and things like that. um you do get to the point where that access for information, you want it to be fairly quick, concise and easy to use. And I think um that's you've got that just sort of perfectly right with with the book. So um thank you for thinking of of your readers when you wrote it.
00:05:11
Speaker
So one of the things I wanted to think about was how does declarative language differ from the many ways um that we kind of naturally communicate communicate with children and why is that different so important.
Declarative vs Directive Language
00:05:26
Speaker
Yeah, so as I was thinking just about this idea and this question, i think that people do naturally communicate in a declarative way a lot of the time.
00:05:37
Speaker
with everybody, you know, declarative language is just commenting, sharing opinions, sharing ideas, sharing memories, um sharing feelings, sharing thoughts, observations. And I think as we meet other people in the world and form relationships with them, regardless of their age, this is the type of language and communication that we use.
00:05:58
Speaker
I think what happens is that when a student or a child is not doing what we had hoped that they would, that's when people become imperative or the opposite of declarative. you know So when things are going well, people are declarative. They might be imperative now and again, but I think the imperative really increases when the adult in the room feels like they have to move things along or get things done and the and the child is not cooperating.
00:06:25
Speaker
um And so then what might happen is this shift in communication where where the adult might become demanding, telling them what to do, like, you know, get your shoes, get your bag, get in the car, e cetera, anything like that. or they might, I think, and then and then when they maybe become worried about a child's language learning, the adults sometimes become quizzing and questioning because they wanna make sure that the child is learning and therefore can take information in and and spit it back out or recurgitate What should you be doing right
Impact of Communication on Anxiety
00:07:01
Speaker
now? What do you need?
00:07:03
Speaker
um So at its heart, what happens is when a child is vulnerable with with regards to maybe communication and language is quite often the adults around them feel worried and become more more pressuring or demanding in their language and communication in efforts to maybe get more information out from the child to prove that um they're learning or because they don't yet know that there's a different way to teach that doesn't involve placing demands or prompting to do something or quizzing.
00:07:39
Speaker
So I kind of think that's when that shift happens is when there' is when there's areas of vulnerability and then people just start to feel worried or change up how they're communicating. That's really interesting, isn't it? Because actually then the the worrying or or the concern brings out more demand for that child, which surely is going to then, their behaviour is going to show even more, they're going to be more worried, or confused. Right.
00:08:07
Speaker
um So it's almost like a, it's sort of self-fulfilling, isn't it really in the end? Right. Which must be really distressing for both, for the the adult and the child. Right.
00:08:19
Speaker
Right. Yeah. yeah so Because everybody I think wants to, I'm sorry, communicate successfully. um but that that can be what happened what ends up happening. And then the other piece I'm sorry that I was just thinking about as well is that as soon as that communication changes from experience sharing to placing a a demand with a command or quizzing, like along with that often comes time pressure. Like we have to do, you have to do this, but also do that now, or please answer this question and also answer it right now. um
00:08:53
Speaker
So that also then places demands on other things like language formulation or recalling of information or motor planning and execution. So like all different things can get in the way after that initial communicative bid as well.
00:09:09
Speaker
Yeah, it's is fascinating, isn't it? it's so um It's so interesting to see how through no fault of their own, you know, a teacher or a professional or a parent can be causing that sort of additional anxiety through the communication they're using um and how difficult that must that must be.
Real-Life Applications of Declarative Language
00:09:29
Speaker
So we use declarative language a lot in our household. um think we accidentally started using it and then I learned a little bit more about it. um And so when I think back, if I go back two years or so, um I can sometimes, um you know, get a shudder and think, goodness me, I can't believe this is how we used to. These are kind of language that we used to use.
00:09:52
Speaker
And so can you maybe give if someone's sort of quite new to this, the concept, can you give a sort of simple example of declarative versus sort of directive language and say like an everyday situation so we can get an idea of what it might look like?
00:10:06
Speaker
Yeah, so I would say like themes that you can think about is declarative language is going to pull on sharing information um that might be in the environment and sometimes also modeling what a possible next step might be. For example, if we're thinking about transitions and and getting out the door to school in the morning.
00:10:27
Speaker
So the demand based language might be get your shoes or what do you need right now or wear your shoes, something like that.
00:10:40
Speaker
Whereas the declarative or more invitational language would be, you know I'm getting ready to go, so I'm gonna get get my shoes and put them on. Or I see your shoes right right over next to mine if you'd like to put on yours also right now.
00:10:56
Speaker
um So you're almost commenting on the environment, you're helping pull memories related to the context that are needed at that moment in time. like I remember where your shoes are They're over by the stairs. um And then also guiding through partnership and connection. I'm going to put mine on right now.
00:11:16
Speaker
And I think there's lots of flexibility within that based on the child and the person that you're with. So that's kind of a broad stroke, but another example might be like where, where um and I know we'll get into this too, so I don't have to get ahead of myself, but where you wanna be able to offer a lot of choices and autonomy, it could be something like, I see i see your shoes by the door, would you know maybe you could put them on now, or I could carry them to the car for you and you can put them on when you're ready, that kind of thing.
00:11:46
Speaker
Yeah, it's, some it's, it's so interesting, because um we've had probably, I don't know how many years, I'm going to say six years of struggling with teeth cleaning, which we know with a lot of children um who are autistic, they find it very difficult with their sensory sort of sensations and so on. And um I, after reading your book, I started to give that choice but also do the sort of collaboration so the kind of idea of I'm going to clean my teeth now would you like to join me or I found your toothbrush I'm getting mine out and and actually creating like you said that sort of um that shared experience and thinking about the environment and I just know that
00:12:31
Speaker
back in the day, just simply saying it's time to clean your teeth or go and clean your teeth now would have caused you the the two teeth wouldn't have been cleaned. So um it does feel very collaborative. It feels very calm. Once you get used to that style of language, I personally feel it's made made me feel a lot calmer about those difficult pinch points in the day. um And I said, yeah, well we'll talk a little bit more later on about about sort of choice and autonomy and things like that. So, yeah, it's just um it's just fascinating. And I think it's so easy, isn't it, as parents, especially when we're busy and we're overstretched, and especially when you've got school, to start...
00:13:15
Speaker
sort of barking demands because you want to get the child to school and you're worried about them being told off. You're worried about being told off maybe by the teachers. And so actually...
00:13:26
Speaker
Having the presence of mind to stop and not to say, your shoes on now, we're going to be late. You know, it's it's quite hard, isn't it? um So it's it's difficult. and so I mean, in some ways, do you think that it takes a lot of practice to begin to use declarative language?
00:13:47
Speaker
Yeah, well, yes, especially if it's a switch. And I say that not to scare anyone away, but I find the most helpful way to think about it is just that you're forming a new habit.
00:14:00
Speaker
And so any new habit just takes practice. and And any new habit, you're not going to do all the time, every day. um But rather you think about times that you you could give it a try or where you might feel comfortable practicing that new habit. but literally that's all it is, is you are just helping form new neural pathways for yourself around your communication style, um you know, habit formation. i pull a lot too from James Clear's book, Atomic Habits. And I think about it even in that way, that just the little moments build up over time. um So I think that's how anybody can think about it. Just
00:14:41
Speaker
Think about the small moments where you can give it a try and know that those little moments build up over time. And I think that makes it less overwhelming um than if say you feel like, oh gosh, I have to change who I am. Like you don't, you just have to build a different habit that is important for the the child or the individual that you're with in terms of successful communication between the two of you.
00:15:04
Speaker
Absolutely. And I suppose with with any habit, if you get a positive feedback from that habit or that there's a positive outcome, it is easy, isn't it? to to comfortly keep going with it. Yeah.
00:15:18
Speaker
I think that's, and and I think, um no, no, off you go. Yeah. So I think, well, yeah, when you were talking before, one thing I was thinking about is it it also becomes easier because you see it and you begin to trust it.
00:15:33
Speaker
So once the trust is there that, oh, this, this does work, I, I just have to slow down a little bit and be a little patient and, and trust in the process and build in that processing time.
00:15:45
Speaker
your trust in it builds as you see it on the other side, as you see it being successful. And then it makes the whole thing easier. yeah that Yeah, that's that's absolutely there. It's and it is different from, you know, there are some habits that we want to, you know, you you might be sort of habits that we yeah we want to um include in our lives and new things which can feel quite onerous. um But I think and what we've heard from from other parents and professionals is once you start using this type of language,
00:16:15
Speaker
more often than not, the response is is very positive. You know, it's positive for the adult, it's positive for the child. And so you want to keep sort of testing it out and seeing how it works. So um yeah, that's, it's wonderful. And I can see what you mean, just little bits at a time because it can feel quite overwhelming. um Certainly, i I don't think, I mean, but you probably use, what you said, declarative language all the time. um It is sometimes there are moments in a stressful day when you can't get your brain to do it. Sometimes, you know, if you desperately want to or you wish you'd used it and you you hadn't used it, I suppose.
00:16:54
Speaker
um So I suppose one of the things I'm really interested in, because I know what it's like from my perspective and from from um parents that contact us at the PDA Society, but what are some of the changes that you've seen in children and particularly their relationship with the adult in their life, whether that's ah a parent or a teacher, when that adult starts to shift to using declarative language?
Improving Relationships through Language Shift
00:17:22
Speaker
Yeah, well, I think... Like what happens first, and it's totally like, this is the ground level for all that follows. It's the foundation is that openness is is created and starts. So I think when people around ah an individual are using a lot of communication that places demands, like that child or that individual might learn to turn away from communication. You know, they, they,
00:17:50
Speaker
You know, they find spaces where they can be alone or have quiet or they might not tune into the communication of other people as readily because they might be worried about a demand that's coming.
00:18:05
Speaker
um But when we truly start to communicate in this way that's invitational without demand, then the child or the individual learns that it's safe to turn towards that communication. Like there's no threat there. like I can turn towards this person and their communicative bids, their communication, their being as a whole, because I know that it's safe and I'm going to be able to handle it or be equipped to to to navigate that interaction because that other person is really thinking about what feels safe for me, what's what's not a demand. So I think that is what happens first is kids turn towards communication first.
00:18:43
Speaker
And I think once we see them open to communication and feel safe in that relationship, then and then so many things are possible. um You know, they might be open to new experiences because they know that the end the grownup that they're with is going to um check in with them before um asking them to be part of a new experience to ensure it feels comfortable to them or that the pace is just right. You know, there's just going to be more of a dialogue and a collaboration around navigating novel experiences.
00:19:18
Speaker
And from that just comes learning opportunities or the ability to share perspectives across social learning styles. so i think Like these are things that the child experiences, but also we as the adult in their life begin to understand them better because we're att tuning in into them better also because we're open to who they are. You know, they become more open to us, but we also are more open to all of their being.
00:19:46
Speaker
And the information and the communication that they share with us so that we can better respond in each moment in time. And it just creates this beautiful dynamic, this beautiful dance from which like wonderful things come. But at the heart of it is, is, you know, we're not trying to control each other, we're just open with each other um and inviting versus demanding.
00:20:10
Speaker
Yeah, and I think you see that a lot with um we children that do struggle in different educational environments. They might have, there might be one sort of adult that they tune in with, but they, you know, that's almost like that becomes their trusted adult. And you can sometimes look and see that that adult, it's about, let you say, it's about building that safety and that safety comes from so many different places, but obviously language being,
00:20:36
Speaker
probably one of the but one of the biggest aspects of that, especially within a school environment. and We often get um schools and educators contacting us where they're having difficulties and they're trying to support a child with PDA. And they might say, well, they don't seem to be connecting well with their one-to-one person. um And you can see at that point and you feel really, you know, um I'm a former teacher and so you feel really sort of sorry for that person because obviously they're trying their best, they're using all the tools that they've got, but there's something about that relationship where the child is not feeling safe.
00:21:12
Speaker
And straight away, you said, it's so interesting what you said about the the child then is not going to lean into communication. They're going to try and actually be quiet and and and move away from it or possibly disrupt it, depending on how the behaviour comes out. um But yes, that that difference, it opens up.
00:21:31
Speaker
it opens it to me. It sounds like what you're saying is, is that it it opens up so many more opportunities for the child and for the adult. If that communication flows properly, you know, which is what you want. Right. Yeah.
00:21:48
Speaker
You know? Yeah. I know that there's always all these things we want for our kids, but where it starts is that connection that and that openness to each other. and I think once that's established, um And it goes both ways. You know, we tune into them, they tune us into us, then the journey is ours together. And there's lots of things and places, things that we can figure out and places that we can go.
00:22:11
Speaker
definitely. But that's at the heart of it, I think, for sure.
Co-Regulation and Communication
00:22:15
Speaker
i think, i yeah, and I think that's, some I feel um certainly with with with my child that there has been this, there's this level of sort of um connection um and trust that has just hit another level and a lot of that has been to do with the language that we're using um and the the the co-regulation the sort of working together um it is it's almost like we're on a completely new chapter um so thank you very much for writing your book because it really has just changed the way that we we we do things um for the better
00:22:54
Speaker
So just sort of thinking about declarative language, and I've mentioned it a few times already is often discussed alongside co-regulation. Um, now you've written a book, core the co-regulation handbook. How do these two concepts it kind of exist together? How do they interact?
00:23:14
Speaker
Yeah. Um, well, and just like declarative language, I first learned about co-regulation through the RDI community. um And I think about it through that lens, which is a lens of dynamic communication and RDI pulls from Dr. Alan Vogel's research on dynamic communication.
00:23:33
Speaker
So at it at its heart, it just means that we're present in the moment to the other person and each of our communicative exchanges are contingent on each other. So when we're in a a dynamic exchange, like I can't dictate what you are gonna say next, um I can just be present in the moment and respond to you, but then it's up to you how you respond to me. Nobody controls the other person. So co-regulation is this mindset where you're thinking about contingency and being in sync moment to moment.
00:24:06
Speaker
um And the way I think about the two concepts together, is that declarative language is a way of speaking, but co-regulation is a way of being. So co-regulation helps us be present in the moment and attuned to the person that we're with moment to moment. But then declarative language just helps us know how to talk and communicate when we're in that moment connected to the other person. it kind of, it just helps us navigate it through language, through communication. um
00:24:38
Speaker
Yeah, and it's kind of like the glue that that maybe surrounds that connection that we have together or that attunement that we have with each other in each moment. So wonder whether you could, like you did before, give an example of what co-regulation might look like in, say, the family home, busy morning, heading out to school when things are getting a little bit stressful. What can parents do to co-regulate and use that declarative language together to help their child?
00:25:06
Speaker
Yeah. And so then what I'll just expand upon too, is just ah how we um take the beginning concept of co-regulation where in sync and present in that moment to use it as a framework, to move through a process or routine, or even as a teaching framework.
00:25:25
Speaker
So we start with that being in sync and that contingency. um But then what we do is we create competent, authentic, contingent roles between ourselves and the child or the individual that we're with. um And competent role just means that it's one that the the individual can do, like no question, as long as they have enough time. But for the PDA or also, it's also very important that the role, they have a autonomy in the roles. So we might be thinking about roles that we know are competent for them, but we also want to continue to be invitational and maybe even offer choice or get their thoughts on what might be a nice, a role that's feels okay to them so that they always have that autonomy at the same time. um So again, so I'll go back, it's competent, authentic, contingent.
00:26:17
Speaker
So for example, if we are um wanting to get out the door. And our goal is that everybody has shoes in some form, like whether they're on their feet or they're just with us, it's all good. um And I'm going to use declarative language. So I might say, hey, um you know, it's almost time to go. I'm going to put on my shoes and I see your shoes by the stairs.
00:26:41
Speaker
So the co-regulation part comes in initially with me slowing down and really being present and attuned to the person or the child in that moment, because I don't know what's going to happen next. I don't know how going to get to that next place. All I know is that I'm open to the many different pathways that that might be available to reach our shared goal as a family, which is to go where we're going. So I might stop and attune with the child.
00:27:12
Speaker
They might have picked up on my cues right away and they are ready to go. They want to go They grab their shoes. They put them on We're on our way out the door. or may that child could be in the middle of something and they're really absorbed by what they're what they're reading or what they're doing.
00:27:31
Speaker
And I noticed they might need a little more scaffolding and partnership from So in that moment, I might say something, I might use my declarative language. I might say, oh, I can tell that you really are into that book. um Why don't I help you by bringing your shoes closer to you? And then I i bring the shoes closer. so So part of what you're doing too is flexibly going back and forth between where the responsibility is. Like we maintain our shared goal as a family.
00:28:02
Speaker
But then the parts of the routine that I hold versus the parts that you hold can be really flexible based on the moment in time and what's going on for all of us. um And, you know, I'm thinking about the child, but really and truly, if you think about anybody that you have a relationship with, this is the ebb and flow. Like all the work is not always on me. Like someone who's a friend or my husband, they might help me out at times. Like it's what we do for the people that we're in relationships with.
00:28:31
Speaker
So I bring the shoes to the child who's reading a book. um And maybe I say something like, oh I'm curious if when you finish that page, you'd like to put on your shoes on your own, or if you'd like help. So in that moment, I'm giving them autonomy. Like, do you want help putting them on? Do you want to do it yourself? Is the end of the page a good time for you?
00:28:52
Speaker
um and then, it you know, it could even break into further partnership roles roles. Like, how about I do the left shoe? You can do the right. Or even, you know, I can tell it's really hard to break away from that book. How about if we bring your book and shoes to the car and then we can find a good moment to put on your shoes together, something like that.
00:29:13
Speaker
um But I think you're always entering with that with that thought of partnership. Like what do I hold? What do you hold? Knowing it can vary and it's flexible based on the context. And and just always, know,
00:29:26
Speaker
being, being connecting and and narrating your thoughts so that the child knows that you're with them and we're in this together, um that kind of thing. So I think that's lovely. And I think it's, it's interesting, isn't it How so often or it can happen that we don't, we don't value or respect the the experience of the child you know so you know yes as two adults together you can see how we probably all co-regulate quite a lot you know there's a politeness involved in that and respect and trust but it's interesting isn't it that something there's something interesting that happens i think when a child is in the room that that it's some some
00:30:09
Speaker
adults find it very difficult to really give the child that respect um and just something as simple as you said then about you know you want to finish the page off you know if that's then you can we can we can then sort of look at what's happening with your shoes whatever and you would say that to an adult but it's interesting isn't it how sometimes parents particularly parents but it could be it could be yet anybody that works for children they don't always do that do you have you ever have you ever come across um parents or educators who really find this this shift in working with children very very difficult
00:30:50
Speaker
i think so i think you know it's just something probably about the world where you know there's this mindset that kids have to do what they're told um versus we have a shared goal together and what's the best way for us to accomplish this um in a positive way and get out the door where we're all still feeling okay and not distressed um I think, too, another thing, i I know we talked about this at the beginning, but just people might sometimes feel worried that if they don't put on their shoes, they're never going to learn how to put on their shoes and they need to learn how to put on their shoes.
Strategies for Prioritizing Tasks
00:31:27
Speaker
And I even separate that out a little bit where I think about, OK, if if if that is true and the goal is to um help them be able to put on their shoes on their own or a self-care task.
00:31:40
Speaker
then where I need to adjust is making sure that I'm giving them the time that they need to through move through that motor plan in a way that's comfortable and successful for them. So it's almost like, you know, at any given time, the other thing that we can do as we co-regulate and attune and think about the big picture of our life and our day is prioritize. Like, okay, what's most important right now that we get out the door, not distressed as a family,
00:32:06
Speaker
Or is it more important to focus on the self care task and give time for that? Because it might be too much to do both at the same time, depending on the child, depending on the context, depending on what's going on. um Yeah, so those are yeah just additional things that I think about.
00:32:25
Speaker
Yeah, that's so interesting, isn't it? And it's, um I think so often, um we forget that that children are just little humans, you know, they're just, you know, they're growing and they're learning. But yeah, that kind of respect is is is so important. So thank you. It's been absolutely fascinating talking to you. um And I think um I've seen that your your book, The Declarative Handbook, you've now had it translated into some other
Conclusion and Further Resources
00:32:52
Speaker
languages. Is that correct?
00:32:54
Speaker
Yes, thank you for asking. Yes, it is now available in Spanish and French. And to, well, ah for French, a woman, Lisa Markovici in Canada is an educator and she translated the French for me. And Miguel Revilla translated the Spanish version for me.
00:33:17
Speaker
You know, what i happy Miguel Revella Rodriguez, sorry, I want to get his full name. um But he's in the community as well, and also a publisher. So it was just nice that people in the in the community at large reached out to me to, you know, with a desire to translate.
00:33:34
Speaker
the books so they're just accessible to more people. More people, that's fantastic. i think yeah they Are they available um ah on on Amazon or through your website? Yes, yeah, they're on Amazon and they're also on IngramSpark which is where local bookshops can buy them wholesale and then sell them.
00:33:56
Speaker
But I think, you know, ah other websites you could find it as well but certainly Amazon, Amazon yeah UK or wherever you are around the world. Hopefully you can find them there. Yeah. much It's been really, it's an absolute pleasure talking to you today. Thank you so much.
00:34:12
Speaker
um And just to finish off, thank you very much for listening. Please remember to subscribe and to share. And if you want any extra support or advice, please go to pdasociety.org.uk.
00:34:25
Speaker
Thanks. Bye bye. Thank you. So if you want to hear more from today's special guest, then there is a longer version of this podcast available over on our training hub. Sponsors of our training hub make it possible for us to create and put out this podcast for everyone for free.
00:34:42
Speaker
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