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Replay: Power of a Supportive Spouse
178 Plays2 years ago
We're replaying this one for you this week because it's so important. If you heard it the first time around, feel free to give it a listen again. If not, take it in fresh and let us know what feedback you have.
When pursuing the life of an entrepreneur, there is nothing that can help smooth out rough waters, reinvigorate fading optimism, or remind you of what is truly important, quite like a supportive spouse. For an endeavor that is fraught with unknowns, the steady encouragement from the one you likely started this thing to impress anyway can be the difference between success or failure.
In this episode, we’re talking about the power of a supportive spouse. We’ll touch on the superpowers of our own wives, plus ways a spouse can support an uncommon journey and how you can reciprocate. We’ll also talk about ways our own wives have shaped our uncommon paths.
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Transcript
Introduction to Uncommon Wealth Podcast
00:00:00
Speaker
Everyone dreams of living an uncommon life and the best asset you have to achieve your dreams is you. Welcome to the Uncommon Wealth Podcast. We're going to introduce you to people who are living uncommonly. We're also going to give you some tools and strategies for building wealth and for pursuing an uncommon path that is uniquely right for you.
00:00:25
Speaker
Hello and welcome everybody to the Uncomma Wealth Podcast where I am your host, Philip Ramsey. Hey, I'm Ryan. Aaron Kramer. And we're here ready to talk about a super important topic. It's a great one. You know, for 100 and I don't know how many podcasts we've done. Probably 140, let's say. There's a common theme that comes up every time. You guys want to know what it is? You know what it is because I told you why we're talking. Marriage. Marriage.
Role of Supportive Spouses in Uncommon Life
00:00:50
Speaker
How powerful it is to have a supportive spouse.
00:00:53
Speaker
So I thought we would just get in a room, my buddies, talk about how much our wives mean and our business and supporting of us. But this could be a woman listening to this and thinking about their husbands. I feel like having a supportive spouse is one of the biggest things when you're talking about going this uncommon path. Oh my gosh. And it's usually the first question I'll ask if somebody's like ready to shoot down this path. I'm like, what does your wife think? What does your husband think?
00:01:18
Speaker
And if you're not on the same page, I'm telling you, I haven't asked them yet. Yeah. We're not going to let you do it. I'll tell you that if they're not, if you're not feeling that. So, all right, this is what I want to ask. I want to do the introductions and I want you to introduce your spouse and I want you to tell us and the listeners what their superpower is.
00:01:37
Speaker
We'll start with you Ryan Garvey. All right. Yeah. Ryan married for four and a half years to my wife Victoria. Uh, she's been as many superpowers mother of two boys. So the fact that she
00:01:53
Speaker
stays a alive during the day and our house is somehow pretty orderly, not burnt down. No. Yeah. And she's in a good mood most of the time. Uh, she, yeah, she runs her own salon out of our basement. So Victoria Rose salon shout out. If your hair is in despair, hey go and let her care for it. That's a good, slow working, working title. It just right off the dome. Um,
00:02:21
Speaker
But yeah, I would say, let me think, when I think of all of her many good qualities and how to maybe characterize them as a superpower, I think her ability to connect with people and give them dignity, whether it's a guest that is sitting in her salon chair or just someone out and about as she's going about her day,
00:02:48
Speaker
She's someone who like sees people and really cares about them. And there'll be times where maybe we're out somewhere and she'll see someone and be like, we need to go talk to that person. Or at the very least say, Hey, let's, I feel like we should pray for that person. So someone who sees people and just has a genuine love
Navigating Career Transitions Together
00:03:07
Speaker
for them. So that's a good superpower. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Aaron. All right. My wife's name is Ashley Kramer, her superpower.
00:03:18
Speaker
We've been together for a long time. So I get, this is easy for me, but, uh, it's probably having a ginormous heart. She loves people to no end. And I don't think she has a bad bone in her body. She does. She is a teacher. She is a teacher. So yeah, for that. Good. Uh, so my wife is Aaron. Um,
00:03:41
Speaker
I would say her superpower, she has many, like you guys. She does an amazing job of listening for me. And then also, this is a word that probably is gonna give us some trouble, so I'm ready for this. She is an amazing, she submits amazing to my leadership. Sounds weird, but it's biblical, and she trusts me in our leadership, but she just is like, hey, wherever you wanna go,
00:04:05
Speaker
I'm going to follow you, even if it's to the end of the earth and you're going to take ownership of this and you're kind of responsible for it. So, uh, but that is a huge, uh, I think confidence boost in me. And so that's what I would say. Okay. Quickly, Aaron Kramer. We know that he's an advisor with us, Ryan Garvey. He helps us with cube and like personal finance. Um,
00:04:26
Speaker
And then myself, you know me. So, there you go. All right, my next question, because I have a couple questions to try to get this going. There you go. So, if you were...
00:04:36
Speaker
Like this is like a weird question, but what was your expectations when you were to get married? Like where would you be today? And then I think everybody, at least the response that we've had up to this point is like, I wouldn't be where I'm at today without my wife. And I think that would be what you'd say. So what were your expectations before you got married of what your wife would support you with?
00:05:02
Speaker
And were those like lived out, right? Unmet expectations are the things that like are the relationship killers. Uh, and so it's a, it's a super deep question on a Friday, but it's fun to talk about. Yeah. Aaron can go first.
00:05:17
Speaker
Oh, thanks, man. All right. Actually, I will own this one, and the fact that I don't really have an answer for it, but I do have a reason why I don't. And this is on me. Me and my wife being high school sweethearts, and by the time I knew I wanted her in my life the rest of my life. So that's why I asked her to marry me. Yep.
00:05:39
Speaker
and we got married. It's a good start. Yeah, but I also had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and what my life looked like after college. So with that, I would have a really hard time answering what I thought marriage would look like except for just being
00:05:56
Speaker
a good teammate, and she'd always been a good teammate to me. So throughout our dating years, and brought me up, and always held me there, but how the whole leading, what it looked like, I was just trying to figure myself out in the first place. When I actually kind of partnered, I was gonna be there. Honestly, through that little period there, I probably was the dragon on the team. So. I out punted my covers too, Aaron. I get you, man.
00:06:24
Speaker
Okay, that's good man. How long have, when, how old are you guys when you got married? Oh man. Oh, that would have been 10 years ago. So 25. Okay. Yeah. I was 27 when we got married. I was 28. Okay. Yeah. Yeah.
00:06:41
Speaker
So yeah, expectations. I mean good and probably not as good expectations. I wrote down some of the good ones. I can try to rack my brain for some of the not so good ones, but just the expectation, you know, the topic of this show is that we would support each other.
00:07:00
Speaker
Similar to you, Aaron, when we were dating, I was working a job in non-profit ministry. And then when we got engaged in the first several years of our marriage, I was doing pest control. And now here I am with Uncommon Wealth Partners doing something completely different.
00:07:18
Speaker
But something that I feel for the first time really aligns with my values and my desires and my skill sets. And yeah, Victoria has been extremely supportive in all those transitions and someone that could be a sounding board.
00:07:33
Speaker
as I was just praying through stuff and someone to pray with like it wasn't just me off of my own praying and trying to figure it out like like you said Erin we're teammates so it's a marriage is a partnership so any decision I make directly affects her and vice versa so
00:07:49
Speaker
Yeah, someone who would ask me hard questions and, you know, ask me questions to help me focus on my motives for why I was maybe wanting to make a change and even just wrestling between the contentment of where I was, but also the desire for something more and not knowing how to get there. She's just been, yeah, a true partner in being supportive. And I try to, you know, when she
00:08:16
Speaker
was kind of going through different iterations with her business and she left the salon that she started at and then was at a different place and then got to a point where she felt like she wanted to go out on her own. So us kind of having the conversation as we were looking for homes, like what would it look like for us to create that space for her to do that at home and be at home with our kids. And it's just been a true blessing to see that come to fruition, to see God bring that about.
Challenges and Support in Personal Growth
00:08:44
Speaker
So,
00:08:45
Speaker
right that's brings up my next question is great value right you don't have to go the next one so how has been ways that you've had to support your wife sounds like you got the house all right so ryan's leading the charge twenty points for you buddy aaron is there any time that you can think of time where you had to support your wife
00:09:03
Speaker
Yeah. Uh, with my wife being in the education system, uh, if anybody knows anything about the education system right now, it's not exactly the best. Uh, parents aren't very nice to teachers and there's a, there's high expectations going on. It's an old education system. Yeah. I mean, I've, this is, this story doesn't come from my wife, but it is a story here. Parents come there like, why doesn't my kid know how to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich? And you're like,
00:09:31
Speaker
Well, our job isn't to parent your kid. Yeah. I thought I'm sending my kid to school, learn how to read, write, and those things. Yeah. So a lot of Karen's out there. But anyways, I think it's supporting her through that.
00:09:48
Speaker
our biggest thing was supporting her. Like she got out of education for a little bit supporting her through there and then getting back in, but also being able to beat her rock, you know, and looking through when she has bad days and why she's doing it and why she's fighting the good fight. Right. Listening and yeah, listening, asking questions. Sure. That's good. Those are good things.
00:10:13
Speaker
Yeah, I think there was one point, well, I mean, being a mother, I mean, being a father is one thing, but being a mother changes your whole paradigm, I think. Being a parent changes your paradigm. I'll say that. But for women and wives and mothers, I think there's something that happens where you're like, who am I?
00:10:33
Speaker
You really have this questioning of who am I? Now I have these little people running around. All my job is is to make sure these little people don't hurt themselves and like grow up to be.
00:10:45
Speaker
decent human beings. And there was a time where Aaron was like, I don't even know who I am. Like truly, like who am I? And I think there's a lot of women that go through this. And have you ever heard that old adjective? It's like the men marry women because they don't want them to change. And women marry men because they see potential or they want them to change. And so when that happens, right, I think a lot of men are like, what do you mean you don't know who you are? And like, we'll try to manipulate or try to
00:11:14
Speaker
make them into the person they wanted them to be. And in that situation, I think this was kind of like a God thing. I was just like, hey, you take time to figure out who you are. And I don't care who you end up being, I'll still love you through that. And so if you're ended up being a goth chick, I guess I'm into goth chicks. You know what I'm saying? I love that. You said this, I mean, we've talked about this in the past and you're saying this is great. Yeah. So giving her, I think, the freedom and then the space
00:11:41
Speaker
to kind of reinvent herself
Practical Ways to Support a Spouse
00:11:43
Speaker
in a way. And I said, hey, go out with all your friends. And I'm not trying to edify myself, but I was giving her space to try to create who she wanted to be. And I think we need that constantly, everybody.
00:11:56
Speaker
Because when you're first dating, everyone's got this facade that you're like, I'm the best person in the world. Well, when you get married, that's the first thing, like, well, you're not. And you've been put on a fake facade. And so having that flexibility to change and adapt who you are, and she's always done a really good job for me. So when it was my turn to reciprocate that, it was really easy for me to just kind of follow her lead in that.
00:12:21
Speaker
So that was a way that I was just like, hey, take your time. You figure out who you are, no matter who you are, I'm into it, you know? Yeah, that's awesome. All right. Let's go to this. Um, I wanted to go, cause I think there's many ways that we can talk about how our, our wives truly support us and talk about practical stuff, but what are ways that a spouse can support their spouse when they're going down this uncommon journey? Like,
00:12:47
Speaker
Again, it's super important, but I wanted to get down to the nitty-gritty practical things that you could do. If you're listening to this and your husband or your wife seems to be entrepreneurial, how do you edify them and also kind of gel this with your own personal risk tolerance? How do you do this practically? I've got some things to start us off with and then you guys can kind of take some turns and think through this.
00:13:11
Speaker
Full disclosure, I didn't really give them a lot of direction of where this was gonna go. I had a little bit more time to think through this, so I'll give them a little time to do some thinking. But I thought the first thing that you can do is listen. Listen, and what you said earlier, Aaron, is ask good questions to try to help clarify what they're trying to say, and then listen, and then there's always that thing of like, this is what I heard.
00:13:35
Speaker
So, but not trying to solve. Yeah. That's like my worst problem. And I think every guy out there, all we want to do is like solve. Guys have the worst problem with that.
00:13:44
Speaker
So listening and then repeating back what you heard and then helping them articulate what is it that they're trying to accomplish in whatever they're trying to tell you. I think that's a really good way, really good place to start and be supportive in that. But listening, I mean, that Aaron does that so well. I'll come up from, you know, the morning and she's like, how's it going? She'll just listen and
00:14:08
Speaker
That's amazing. Side note, this has nothing to do with lower turmoil, but I gotta give you props here. I don't know if anybody's ever told you, your whole family listens well. When I brought my daughter over here to like,
00:14:20
Speaker
you babysitted by your daughter and your daughter's like asking me questions. And I'm like, for me to like answer, she's listening. There is an age gap here. I'm supposed to be running this conversation. You are doing amazing at how old you are. So your whole family was good. That's my wife. That's awesome. All right. Other things, other apical ways you can support your wife or spouse. Sorry.
00:14:43
Speaker
I can go. You want me to go? Alright, so I think the one that I know my wife did for me that was huge was
00:14:53
Speaker
While we're on that journey, you go on this journey of being an entrepreneur, you have your ups and downs. One day you're thinking you're on top of the world, and the next day you're thinking, why did I do this? You have ups and downs? I'm just kidding. But the one thing I feel like my wife has done amazing at throughout my entire life, but really I didn't recognize it until I took this path.
00:15:17
Speaker
was helping me see my strengths and weaknesses. Oh, that's good. Right? Like, she... You stole mine. Good answer. But like, she really would, you know, sit there and say, Aaron, like, well, you're good at this, or this is what really makes sense, or you're telling her things. And she'll point it out in a very loving way. And then even like, like not things that are strengths, you know, things that maybe I'm not so good on it. She's like, and you're frustrated and you're probably ready to like,
00:15:45
Speaker
rip a phone book in half. Because it's not your gifting. Yeah, well, she says they can edify you. It's not that I suck. It's just like, that's not your strength. So let's find a way to get through that in the meantime. It's like, oh my gosh. That's good, Ashley. That's good.
00:16:02
Speaker
Good. Yeah. Cause if you were going to start a business that hopefully grows and then is going to have multiple, you know, levels of different tasks, like you're going to have to think about better sooner than later of like, okay, how are you going to get somebody on your team?
00:16:18
Speaker
to do those tasks that you hate or just aren't naturally gifted in. It's good that you share that. I would say, so Phil, you mentioned listening. I'd say right on the heels of that, like pray together. So we prayed a lot about any kind of career change and even just for wisdom and guidance and patience. I was trying to leave my previous job for a couple of years and I kind of explored a couple different avenues.
00:16:46
Speaker
but they weren't the right solution and like one of my maybe weaknesses is I can be a little impetuous and so I'm like oh this is gonna be the thing and then I throw myself fully into that for like a month or two and then I'm like oh it really wasn't exactly what I thought it would be and then I just kind of throw it to the side so
00:17:04
Speaker
I think there's merit in taking calculated risks and experimenting with things. But I had to kind of get to a place where I'm like, all right, do I really see this as a viable career path? Or is it just the next thing that I'm trying to explore? And
00:17:20
Speaker
Really, I came to that realization through praying and talking with Victoria because she would just ask that question. She'd be like, is this really something you can see yourself doing long term or is it just kind of like the next thing? And then I would say with that, we also just tried to create like a roadmap.
00:17:38
Speaker
Yeah. If you're going to take a new job and maybe you're taking a pay cut, which oftentimes is the case, like get your financial ducks in a row, have systems in place, uh, talk about like a potential exit strategy, like give yourself a timetable. Like if it doesn't pan out in the first 90 days or six months, like are you going back to that other job or kind of what is the exit strategy there instead of just kind of jumping, jumping in without a plan?
00:18:04
Speaker
It's like you work at a Commonwealth partner. I think there's a few things here and there. I think that's important to talk about because at the end of the day, when we sit down with a couple, normally they have very different risk tolerances and a plan helps the person that's a little bit more conservative feel comfortable stepping down this uncommon journey and then talking about the unknowns or if things don't go according to plan.
00:18:31
Speaker
which they never will. They never will. Yeah. But the fact that they can speak to of like, okay, if this doesn't work at this time, we're both agreed on this to be the, you know, what we do next and do it before the fire hits. So you can react when you have a little bit of time and you're not like amped up by the time the trial hits. You've talked about what's going to happen before. Yeah.
00:18:54
Speaker
Oh my gosh, you guys talking about this makes me like, love my wife more. Cause like you guys all got plans and she had to marry a guy that's like, what's your contingent plan? Don't have one. Cause we're going all in. We're going all in.
Balancing Planning and Action
00:19:05
Speaker
And we did. We suffered. Yeah. And it hurt my family, you know, going through those times, but my wife stuck by me. So
00:19:15
Speaker
That's good. For better or worse, richer or poorer. I would say sometimes, I love this one, I just put like, provide other options and solutions. So when you are down this uncommon journey and things don't go according to plan, sometimes it's nice to have somebody give a different option or solution. And it's not like you're trying to solve it, it's just like, hey, we're trying to get every problem on the board, or the problems on the board,
00:19:42
Speaker
And then we're trying to find solutions no matter how weird or out of the box they are. And my brother, my father-in-law actually does really, does this amazingly. Like we've done some projects together. His name's Chris Sampson. He never listens to this, but if he did, he'd be like, see, I got, my name called out. But in these projects, and I've not been in a past to do carpentry, like that's not my family's deal, but because of him, I feel like I have a little bit more skill to do this kind of stuff. And so he and I at one point finished our basement in our old house.
00:20:12
Speaker
And I love this. I found that I love to learn as long as I can be hands on doing the learning. So reading and then doing something. I was like, I'm all in. Uh, but anyway, he was so good as, cause I'm kind of like a, let's just do it and we'll figure out later. He was really good about, well, have you thought about this or like, what about this? And I'm like, Oh man, I haven't thought about that.
00:20:32
Speaker
And that's something I should think about. So let's problem solve this, because if I would have jumped in on this, it would have been a hot mess. But since you very casually and just asked me about, hey, did you think about this? Or what about this solution? And it helped me process through of, OK, and at the end, we had the best solution to move forward. But sometimes it's just like, hey, here's another option. Here's another solution.
00:20:53
Speaker
I don't care which one you do. And that's what I think my wife does so well as she submits to whatever you want to do. But here is, you know, here's a couple options and it really is helpful to me to think about. Do you guys think there's a balance to strike there between like the anticipating and planning, but then falling into like the analysis paralysis of you've got to take into account every single outcome in detail before we can take that first step of action. Like,
00:21:19
Speaker
Have you guys gone through that like with your, in your marriages or 100%? Yeah. And I think like the, the Michael Jackson syndrome or the Prince, like, have you ever heard that where they like didn't produce something until it was perfect? Oh, like how much like just content they have that's never been published or produced because it wasn't perfect. And it sounds stressful. It sounds stressful. And it puts you into a level of like almost frustration always because you're looking for perfection and it never will happen.
00:21:47
Speaker
And so the safest path, right? Cause I find so many people waiting to like wait for that perfect path or the risk is too much or they never take the path and people forget, you know, was it Michael Jordan has hit more winning shots than anybody else, but then also missed the most. Yeah.
Identifying Personal Patterns for Growth
00:22:06
Speaker
So like there has to be that like happy medium of like actually taking the risk. Yeah. But, but yeah, like having those contingents is great.
00:22:14
Speaker
Okay, what other couple? We got time for a couple more. Yeah. Oh, I had a good one. Oh, do you think you guys, here's a question. What personality traits or things that your wives have like noticed about yourself that you didn't notice?
00:22:32
Speaker
about your, so like holes that you have that like, she helped you recognize and be better with. Oh man. That's good. Ryan's gonna answer this. So you're talking about like what kind of character flaws and like, I don't think, I don't think we have character flaws, you know, like per se, like I do. I don't know.
00:22:56
Speaker
character flaws, but like, I mean patterns that maybe that like were not good patterns or your character flaws that were hindering you to reach the goals you wanted to reach that she saw prior to everybody else.
00:23:09
Speaker
Yeah, I mentioned it earlier, just the kind of tendency to be impulsive as I was just really exploring as many venues as I could, primarily because I just really wanted to leave the job I was in. But I also felt I had certain passions and interests that I wanted to flesh out in a career that I would pursue.
00:23:33
Speaker
Just doing is, you know, during when COVID was, you know, we were in the midst of lockdown and seemed like everyone was releasing a coaching course online. So there's a lot of traps that you could fall into. And, um, you know, I, I explored a couple of those. I wouldn't say that they were bad in nature, but I think they kind of over promise on what they could deliver. And so.
00:23:57
Speaker
And they weren't free. So there's another consideration. So when I'm, I'm not just like clicking the, the pay button without talking to her. And so when I tell her what it is and what it costs, like she obviously has questions and then I've got to be able to kind of validate why I want to do it. And.
00:24:15
Speaker
I think after a couple different explorations, it was just kind of a conversation of like, okay, I appreciate that you're trying to learn new things and explore different paths, but is this next thing just going to be the next thing? Or I think really just causing me to pause and carefully consider, is this a viable career path?
00:24:38
Speaker
Is this something I could really see myself enjoying or is it just an escape from what I feel currently stuck in? So basically she did a really good job of slowing you down. I mean sometimes like a lot of us, if you have an entrepreneur mindset, I think sometimes we get tunnel vision and we have a good chance of just like running fast and not slowing down and thinking it all. My wife, I would say that when we first got married,
00:25:06
Speaker
I would get passionate I would call it which was just yelling yelling in her book and so she did a really good job of like sometimes when you get excited about something you can bypass other people's feelings because you're so excited about it and like take a step back and then like make sure everybody's input is is
00:25:27
Speaker
Spoken for or thought through and then you can make a decision together So I would say for mine if I get that's great to tunnel-minded It's like doesn't matter who's with me or who get I'm going there and like that doesn't feel great Yeah, so that's something that's great guys. Good question. What about you?
00:25:44
Speaker
I mean, again, this is just everything about my wife. She legitimately helped me find myself when being lost, but I think the one thing that she's really helped me come to that's been life-giving to me is... Trust me, this took a long time to swallow when she brought it out.
00:26:04
Speaker
She would start seeing me go down a path of like being stressed out, but she could call it out probably a week or two before I would hit my pitfall. That's a huge superpower.
00:26:15
Speaker
Yeah, so she's like, what's going on? And I'd be like, nothing. I'm fine. Because I honestly thought I was fine. I am thriving. Yeah. Without not knowing, I had patterns of things of doing that I would do. And she's like, here it comes. And she would know if Aaron's going to fall off and Aaron's going to spend an afternoon in the basement watching TV because he's sad. So she helped me. And now I don't have as many pitfalls because she can help me catch them before I hit.
00:26:44
Speaker
And now you know that she can see it, so you're probably more receptive to it. If she brings it up, you're like, oh, there might. Yeah, but she's also the biggest thing that she taught me how to see my own. And I don't always catch them, you know, because we're in our life and we got our tunnel vision going. But she could see it prior, and then over time, she's helped me, allowed me to see it. Yeah, it's good.
00:27:09
Speaker
All right. I have a couple of more. I have one too. At some point do it now. I am a hundred percent. Okay. I've got mine written down. Yeah. As we were talking, I wrote down what is one way that your spouse needs your support that you're not currently maybe best supporting them in, but that you'll commit to supporting them in right now. Oh man. I got to say that on podcast. Yeah. Yeah. It's accountability, accountability, man. Oh,
00:27:37
Speaker
Welcome to The Uncommon. If you haven't ever heard of The Uncommon podcast, that's when Ryan and I have together, and all we do is challenge each other to be better.
Keys to a Supportive Partnership
00:27:46
Speaker
And that's basically what that question came from. Really hard question. I'm not on that podcast, guys. You are now. Come on, man. Phillip, you got something? I do. I do. I think I can do way better at putting the kids to bed. Like, I kind of let her kind of be the tip of the spear on that deal.
00:28:08
Speaker
But I think I can do a better job.
00:28:12
Speaker
maybe supporting her and, and yeah, doing more of that and giving her a little bit more like energy. So I definitely can serve her in a better way of doing that. Uh, and then making sure every one of the kids is down and, and normally kind of the deal is she kind of goes upstairs and she just says, good night. And then I go upstairs and say, good night. But I think it would be fun if we all were up there. And the problem is I get like, we start wrestling.
00:28:38
Speaker
You know, there's a lot to so that's everything's a competition. Everything's a competition in the Rams. Yeah. So anyway, I think that's I can totally do a better job of helping my wife put the kids down and like making sure that goes smooth. Although it's funny because every time I go and put my kids down, she's always like.
00:28:57
Speaker
How did you do that so fast? I'm like, Hey, we got a routine. It's in out, you know, like, anyway, she does a way better job of like being present with the kids. I've got a mission. We're getting it done. Yeah. So I don't think of that's the, that's not $20 for the first kid who falls asleep. Get in your bed. Let's go. Who's going to win it? Uh, but do a better job of the way that she does it, which is super intentional and loving it. So.
00:29:24
Speaker
Yeah, mine's more, because we both work full time, we share more duties around the house, and she does way more than I do about taking the upkeep of the house. I think I could probably do a lot better job of helping her, like keeping the dishes clean. All right, there you go. Doing a little laundry.
00:29:46
Speaker
So yeah, I think, so my, I guess if we're taking our thing, what we're going to say is like, I'm going to help out with dishes more. Cause I mean, that's not like I don't like to eat. I eat a lot. So probably most of the dishes are mine in the first place and then our bedding. And I should just ask me if I could do the bedding. Uh, make the bed.
00:30:05
Speaker
No, so we wash our bedding once or twice a week. Oh, the internet shoots. All right. We'll also put that in. We have two dogs. Oh, yeah. There's also there that. But she had asked if I could do it, since we work all remote, if I could throw it in in the morning. There you go. In the dryer in between meetings. I'm holding accountable to that. It's like, OK. I have a podcast to show for.
00:30:33
Speaker
Heard it here first, Ashley. Awesome. So yeah, we have two young boys, two and a half and one. And I think in the first few years of our marriage, like, so.
00:30:49
Speaker
little bit of backstory. I was single until, you know, after college, until I started dating Victoria. So got pretty used to just living an independent life. And so that definitely, I tried to carry that into marriage and go,
00:31:06
Speaker
I mean, it was rough at times. No, there was a couple of times that I even shared this on the other show of like times that I went out with a friend and like didn't tell her, just totally slipped my mind. So all that to say is like, I've made it a priority to still do life with my friends. And I think Victoria hasn't had that as much. And so one way that I'm finding, especially now with having kids,
00:31:33
Speaker
a way to support her is to encourage her and give her not the permission, but just like, Hey, yeah, I've got the boys like go out. Like I think, I think tonight, um, she's even gonna go out with a friend and then me and her friend's husband are gonna, uh, watch the kids.
00:31:52
Speaker
Yeah, and then she's going on a girl's trip to Florida in a couple weeks, so I'll have the boys solo for a couple days, and I'm kind of terrified. Excited about it. Excited and terrified. Yeah, you're excited. And she's started working out at a gym right down the street from her house, so even that looks like, hey, I'd love to take a class at like five.
00:32:13
Speaker
Am I free to watch the kids? So just being proactive to say like, yep, take that time. Cause I know when I do that, I show up better as a husband and dad. And I know the same is for her. So good. Uh, so here's, I'll leave, I'll leave the listeners with this. Here's a couple ideas too, that I think have been helpful for just when I was thinking through this, like let your spouse know that you trust them. That's a big deal. Yeah. Let them know that you see and value their hard work.
00:32:42
Speaker
And then I put one and I circled it, celebrate with them. Like put things on the calendar or just celebrate. Like this is not an easy traveled road, the uncommon journey. But there's times that you just need to celebrate that. And so let them know no matter what, you'll do it together.
Conclusion and Future Content
00:33:01
Speaker
So that's just kind of something cool. And then I think a cool thing that I think a lot of people do is just block and tackle.
00:33:08
Speaker
Like I can't tell you how many times I've had a later night and then Aaron is just like, I got, I got everything that we need to. You just do you. And it allows me to provide in such a way that I love. Uh, so I think there's a couple of ways just to kind of support your spouse in this. And this again can be husbands, it can be wives, but I think this is just a fun podcast to think about. Like we're doing life together and there's a lot of times and everybody said this in our podcast and we all kind of agreed. We wouldn't be where we were at without our spouse. So. Yeah.
00:33:38
Speaker
Hopefully this pays homage to all the people who are sacrificing behind the scenes. And you've been listening to the Uncommon Life Project, which is now the Uncommon Wealth Partners Podcast. Yeah. Stop that. We're going to redo that. Sorry, Ben. Sorry. Thought it was going well. You've been listening to the Uncommon Wealth Partners Podcast. I've been your host, Philip, Ryan Garvey, and Aaron Kramer. Until next time, go be uncommon. Thanks for listening. Thanks.
00:34:06
Speaker
That's all for this episode, brought to you by Uncommon Wealth Partners. Be sure to visit uncommonwealth.com to learn more about our services. Don't miss an episode as we introduce you to inspiring people who are actively pursuing an uncommon life.