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Own Worst Enemy
72 Plays4 months ago
In this lively episode of the Uncommon Wealth Podcast, hosts Phillip Ramsey and Arron Cramer dive into the concept of leveraging personal strengths and understanding how those same attributes can also act as personal pitfalls. They discuss the mantra that "You are your best asset, but also your worst enemy," offering listeners an insightful exploration into self-awareness and personal growth.
Phillip and Arron break down their top three characteristics, or "superpowers,” and assess how these traits contribute to their success as financial advisors while also identifying points where these strengths might become hindrances. Through candid conversation and shared anecdotes, they emphasize the importance of balance, as well as the need for ongoing personal and professional development.
Key Takeaways:
- Understanding and leveraging personal strengths is crucial for achieving an uncommon life.
- Self-awareness of how these strengths can also act as weaknesses is key to personal growth.
- The dynamic of being both an encourager and a leader can promote teamwork but also risk manipulating situations for selfish gain.
- Continuous learning is vital, but it should not immobilize taking action and serving clients.
- Competitiveness can drive success but may also lead to unnecessary complication of simple tasks.
Notable Quotes:
- "You don't really worry about money, although you do get money. And then you don't really worry about retirement because you love what you do every day." – Phillip Ramsey
- "If you're using your giftings every day, you don't really worry about money." – Arron Cramer
- "Sometimes you feel like you've got handcuffs on because you're loyal almost to a fault." – Arron Cramer
- "I can compete with you, want you to do your best, encourage you to do your best, and still want to beat you." – Phillip Ramsey
- "It's really easy to run to what is comfortable for you." – Arron Cramer
Resources:
- Uncommon Wealth Partners
- "The Five Love Languages" book mentioned during the conversation.
To dive deeper into understanding how your best attributes can also be your worst enemies and to learn strategies for leveraging strengths while avoiding pitfalls, listen to the full episode. Stay tuned for more enlightening conversations on the Uncommon Wealth Podcast!
Recommended
Transcript
Introduction: Pursuing an Uncommon Life
00:00:00
Speaker
Everyone dreams of living an uncommon life. And the best asset you have to achieve your dreams is you. Welcome to the Uncommon Wealth Podcast.
Unique Lives: Tools and Strategies for Growth
00:00:12
Speaker
We're going to introduce you the people who are living uncommonly. We're also going to give you some tools and strategies for building wealth and for pursuing an uncommon path that is uniquely right for you.
Gratitude and Value of Time
00:00:26
Speaker
Hello and welcome everybody to another episode of the Uncommon Wealth Podcast, where I'm your host, Phillip Ramsey. And I'm Aaron Kramer. Thank you for tuning in. We're grateful to have you. Yeah. You know, time is a huge value and resource. It's a huge one. And so we hope that this is valuable to you.
Self as Asset and Enemy: Strengths and Weaknesses
00:00:41
Speaker
Today's topic is just Aaron and I hanging out in the studio. We're talking about When, well, first I would say like one of our taglines at uncommon wealth partner is you are your best asset. Yep. And we truly believe that financial advisors, like we really try to help people unpack, like, what is your best asset? What is it that you get passionate about? What is it that
00:01:01
Speaker
How are you uniquely gifted? Yes. And then we try to build a plan around that. Yep. Because we feel like if you're using your giftings every day, you don't really worry about money, although you do get money, and then you don't really worry about retirement because you love what you do every
Double-Edged Traits: Personal Experiences
00:01:14
Speaker
day. So there's just a lot of things there that you can unpack. But if you've been around for a while, which I'm sure that you are, because you're a listener, um thanks for tuning in. Today we're talking about you're your best asset, but also your worst enemy. Yes. Don't da da da. When your best characteristics turn south. Turns out, or work against you. Or work against you. Either way. Yeah, so i mean but yeah I mean, you always want to lean into your best.
00:01:40
Speaker
thing and bring it out, but sometimes it's really easy to run to what you're good at. Oh yeah, yes. And then you can really be so good at something that eventually it's bad. like Or you can be in a bad situation and you use your good characteristics for bad. Yeah. We're talking about all of that today. Yep. So let's talk about what our three characteristics are that we feel like are our superpowers that make us yeah who we are and our best asset. so um Let me tell you yours. and yeah so I was just gonna tell you this. Let me tell you yours, because I was like, I don't want to tell you yours. Oh, my mind feels weird. Yeah, that's so good. Also, we don't also we don't write our own bio bios at uncommon wealth partners, because it just feels like we're just bragging about it. It's anxiety, and it's weird. like yep It's just not a good idea. If someone can easily tell you what their strengths are, I hate that question on the interview. What's your strengths? yeah They shouldn't be able to just list it all off. Yes.
00:02:33
Speaker
I love it. Okay. So Aaron's three characteristics that I would say, like encompass him are he is completely loyal. He's a loyal guy through and through. And we, if you've been around at all and you listened to the last podcast we had, we were talking about our failures. Yeah. That was kind of one of the things like, ah so we can almost unpack that whole thing, but loyal, you're loyal, um, almost to a fault. Uh, and then you're a protector. Like you want to do what it takes. Like if there's somebody who's getting picked on, like you're going to be No matter what, you're gonna be there. ah Which I think is great. And the other one is like you're constantly learning. You wanna learn more so then you can serve better. yeah Constantly wanting to learn more. All those three characteristics are awesome. Well thanks. What do you think?
Phillip and Aaron’s Traits: Contributions and Consequences
00:03:20
Speaker
Yeah, I feel like they they're good. Yeah, they're good. it They're good. Sometimes you feel like they got handcuffs. Like are they like, oh you know, things. But okay, so Philip though, so I wanna say these in order, cause I feel like it helps.
00:03:33
Speaker
You are an encourager. Like, I mean, like, when I say, uh, what did I say when we' we're talking about this? Encourager, but hype, hype, man. I think it felt like hypeman is always better because it is like people want to be around you. And when you, I remember first meeting you, it was like, I had this, like when I described people, he was like, he's you are really good about bringing a subject to the top of the mountain and then leaving. And you're like, dang it, I want more. you know I will talk a subject to death until it goes back down to the bottom of the mountain and you leave it to the top so people leave like so hyped up and ready to go. you know So you that's your number one, I think that's like, encourager.
00:04:12
Speaker
And then you are a good leader. like You help lead people to be better, to be better human beings. And you lead it by example too. That's really good. And then you are stupidly competitive. Yeah, it's it's ridiculous. Yeah, like and like to the point where like I think it's cute, because it's like, it's like you get competitive about like really silly things. I'm like, fill it up. Calm down, buddy. It's a board game. Although, you've entered into some competitions with me. I know. And like there's time, I'm competitive, but I'm not to the point where like board game, oh, that's cool. But I will say, you never you like I come from a background where people are like that, but then it comes to like throwing blows. You never want to throw a blow. No, right. So I love that. That's fascinating.
00:04:52
Speaker
like I can compete with you, want you to do your best, encourage you to do your best, and still want to beat you. yeah That's why you're a leader and you're a hype man. like yeah ah you um yeah like That's why it's a fun top three for you. okay all right so Let's talk about your your loyalty. so When does that thing go south and and kind of make you your worst enemy? I think for you you, you had a whole podcast about it. is when you're doing things at the detriment to your own well-being. You're the guy that's like, oh, you're hot? like Let me put myself on fire. like see yeah Warm up. You're that guy. Yeah, I'm that guy. like in And then I'll like blind myself to the people around me, like you know the flaws of like people. It's like, no, it's OK. It's OK. It's OK. But really, it gets to the point where it's not OK. It's not OK. It's not OK.
00:05:42
Speaker
like and not anything like I'm pretty like, you know, I'll say this openly. I know you won't, but I will. Um, when I came over, like I was pretty open about not putting up with things that me and Brian did not see things on some things. i i And I, there was no That's that protector one that comes out. It's like, nope, ain't doing it. You know, and so, but like, there's just more like other things where I'm like, no, it's good, it's good, it's good, we're a good team. And it's like, and I can take myself down to like a real long hole. What does that say, like, we're talking about a seven year path of blindness, you know, where other people knowing, I thought you would have seen that a lot long ago. It's like, dang it. So yeah.
00:06:24
Speaker
It's my downside. it's But it's a great, like a gar it's an amazing characteristic. Yeah, until someone else, like it's amazing when somebody else recognizes it and wants to help lead that person, but it's a very easy characteristic for someone to abuse. To take advantage of. Yeah. Yeah, it's good. Okay, um let's go to let's go
Key Strengths: Encouragement and Protection Challenges
00:06:46
Speaker
to mine. Yeah, let's go to yours. All right, so Encourager. Yeah, height man. Yeah, dude, I love it. And I think words of affirmation, if anybody knows any love languages or the five love languages, that's like my love languages, words of affirmation. And in that book, it says that not only the one that you receive love the most is normally the one that you yeah show love. Yeah. So I got to ask on that since you brought that book up because I like that book. Uh, give second one.
00:07:12
Speaker
Gifts? No. Really? No. Yeah. Is it quality time? It is probably. That makes sense. Yeah. like Okay. Yeah. Cause you like events. Yeah, I do. All right. It's gifts third. I maybe, but I like back rubs a lot. So is that touch? And then service. I don't know, man. Who who knows about me. And I do know words of affirmation is... No, that totally makes sense. I was just thinking about your second one, because I'm like, you're really good at gifts and everything. So I was like, oh man, is that in there? but then But I guess quality time makes sense, because you do like you're really good at like planning an event for people. like So then it's like quality time makes sense. So quality time planning makes sense. i just
00:07:53
Speaker
Anyways, we're going down a bad path, but. Perfect gift for the team too, by the way. You see? Perfect. That's why gifts were a thing, but like. So good. Oh. Okay. Um, but okay. So encourage her. I love to encourage people. Uh, I feel like I like get a little bit of extra dose I've seen in my life where people have encouraged me and I've stepped up to a different level. Yeah. So I just feel like when you encourage somebody, you can really see the full potential. Yeah. But how's this been a downside for you though? Yeah. So there's times where I can over encourage and then people, or even myself, then like get into some pickles. Okay. Right. Yeah. And so like, Oh, maybe you probably shouldn't have gone and talked to that person.
00:08:31
Speaker
so the way that I thought it was going to go play out like that didn't go well. Yeah. And so I can encourage maybe that's like my, my part where am I encouraging even myself too much where it's like the real is the realisticness of that is probably not going to be realistic. Okay. And so am I trying to over encourage, um, Yeah, try it out, what thing? I feel like I could see this, like I don't know, you confirm it or not. um Because it's, you know, we always talk about the happiest people are in the world with people helping people. Right? Yeah. So like, if it may, like, and you mentioned here, like, do you run to it to make, because it makes you feel good to encourage people. Yeah. Like, so it's a run, it's a go to, like, I'm not happy, so I want to encourage people because it makes me happy to help other people. Right. I think that's true. I think that's true. I mean, how's, I mean, this is like one of those things, like,
00:09:20
Speaker
and did We talk about addictions being bad. It's like, try to tell me that working out like is bad. like It's not. like No one's like, oh, working out's a bad addiction. No, I'm working out. But it's an addiction. So then for you, it's like yeah helping people, like hyping people up to like motivate them for their day like can be like ah like an addictive thing. like I want to go help people, right? Yeah. And there's been times where, in my past, I haven't done a good job of like making sure that the husband and wife are on the same team, or same like page. yeah And I've hyped up somebody, and then he comes back, and it's like, my wife won't let me. you know It's like, ooh, missed that boat. you know yeah So that's an that's a way. But man, there's obviously there's times where over encouraging people feels like I'm being unauthentic. And there's not one up here, but I'd say authenticity is pretty high up for me. yeah Like I'm pretty authentic. And so sometimes when people see me in my encouragement, they'll be like, that guy's fake.
00:10:13
Speaker
So that's been, that does happen. Yeah. Cause you're like, oh, he's a salesman through and through. That's like, well, kinda he's selling on life. Like, you know, like it would be happy at life, you know, like life, but like it doesn't, I remember that cause one of my clients, it took her ah I was like, the third time I was like, okay, I get it, I see it. like But the first time was like, I don't know yet. It seems like a salesperson. I'm like, that's funny. That's right. Okay, protector for you. Second thing, protector. Yeah. So a huge protector will stand in front of anybody to make sure he's protecting.
00:10:47
Speaker
That's another way that I think that you, this is a good industry for you, because there's a lot of people that are are yeah making people victim, or like they're just not doing the right thing, thing ye in my opinion. They'll argue. There's just a lot of shady business. Yeah, I mean, a lot of money goes into it. You know, yes insurance companies have a lot of money and they have a lot of good people behind them to like spin things really well. Yeah, so you're a protector. So when has that gone south for you? Oh man, that's a lot. ah Keeping my big mouth shut. Oh, interesting. Yeah, i like you know like if if you're in front of somebody and you know they're getting taken advantage of.
00:11:30
Speaker
Nobody wants to hear that. You can't you cannot not say anything. Yeah, I will just say something, and sometimes it just doesn't go over well. Yeah, that's true. I've learned to feel little more gracious about that. ah And then ah you can get you can get in some major arguments. let's That's happened before on the team. Because you're protecting. Yeah, right. Yeah. ah And then you... oh This one's like, then like it it can really halt me on business. Because if I don't know what the right thing is, I won't move forward. right Until I figure out what it is. and then like And I'm not one that's like, I can't read a book in a day. That's right, that's right. One time you did say, I just say not one time. Couple times you'd be like, I'm not smart. And I'm like, I think you're the smartest person in the room. Because you're willing to tell somebody, I don't know. And then you go and you go and figure it out. And you learn it and then you can bring back like, hey, now I know.
00:12:28
Speaker
like I think that makes you the smartest person in the room. The people that I think are very foolish are the people who make it up or try to like put lipstick on a pig when they don't really know the answer. yeah Just admit it. Just admit you don't know the answer and you're going to go back. Even if you think you might know the answer but you're not 100% sure, say, hey, I think I know the answer but I just want to go back and check. I feel like that's a great characteristic. I don't know, it seems that way, but until you gotta go win business and stuff, you're like, why aren't you gonna win a business? It's like, hold on, I need to know this thing first. It's like, you can figure it out later. It's like, no, I can't. That's good. Okay, we're gonna get into that. Don't get crazy, okay?
00:13:06
Speaker
Okay, leadership. Leadership. Good, good. When it goes bad, I feel like, um and you can speak to this, but I don't think it happens much, but when I start making people a pawn in order to further my own selfish gain,
Leadership’s Dark Side: Ambition and Manipulation
00:13:20
Speaker
yeah right? Like, okay, this is what I need to do here, to that, to that. This person needs to do that. this one like And it's for my selfish gain. It's not for the team's perspective. It's not for anybody else's like goals. It's just like, this is what I want. yeah It doesn't happen much, and I think that happens more when I'm like in a stress state. yeah um But I would say when I was younger, I could tell that like, oh wait, there's something here that I can organize and lead others. And there have been times where like, hmm, it'd be nice to have this. And then I'd be like, how would I have to do to get to that? yep And it was all about me, and I was just using people almost like a stepping stool, right? Yeah. um
00:13:57
Speaker
gratefully, like, I feel like the Lord has kind of refined me and like, no, no, no, these aren't people and they're not tools. You want them to be on top of the mountain with you. Yeah. Right? Yeah. That's now a different mindset because I'm an encourager. So yeah, but I can like, you can use your superpowers for like when you are a leader, good leader naturally. So people want to follow. Sure. And then if you're in a hype man, you can hype people in a way that like, Benefit you that's right. So like this is where like you can see like villains and superheroes. Yeah, right Yeah, cuz you can manipulate a situation really well. Yes, not that you do but I'm saying you you have the bill of those documentaries We're like you hear these like cults or whatever. Yeah, like or that leader who's leading people so astray and you're like
00:14:42
Speaker
How is that even possible? Like, how can he even be that duplicitous, narcissistic, or whatever, yeah that they could do that? That's baffling to me. But you can see how those two together, oh man. You can really start selling. You know, I'm gonna self-check yourself, and it's hard, like, because we're all, like, all, everybody's a little bit selfish. Like, yeah my thing is, like, don't tell me anybody that's, I just had this conversation at a coffee shop this morning with a friend. Look at any big organization. Not good. It's gotten too big. right The person at the top has gotten way too selfish, yeah has gotten way too big. even like We even said like one person that we both respect.
00:15:21
Speaker
um It's Bill on a, oh my gosh, money guy. ah Super rich Hathaway. um Oh. Now you're making me blank though. I know. Dang it, I like this guy a lot. ah Warren Buffett. There we go. I thank you. That was like the biggest brain fart I've ever had in my life. And then on Ben, Ben, now I just say, okay. Bill Gates. Oh, Bill Gates, Bill Gates, Buffett.
00:15:56
Speaker
No, Warren Buffet. Oh my gosh. Dude, Ben, this is great. Okay. Go backwards and be like, Hey, so I respect. All right. So together the guy that I respect a lot, Warren Buffet. Okay. His company's so big. yeah He can't make all the decisions in between like bad things happen in there. right Yeah, so but like he's like one I let's say he I'm not that I'm not I don't know everybody out there I'm sure people can call him like certain naming people that are good. Yeah, but out of the big lore, you know Warren Buffett has really kept his nose clean He really he pays his taxes. He does all the right things um that we know as a public and so anyways
00:16:36
Speaker
But look at all the people that don't. so any Everybody fights it at every level. oh yeah you know i like but i mean that's where when you're You know what, I think that's a cool part of that, just thinking about this one, let's say Warren Buffett. I feel like giving is a big component of that. Are you giving money? 10% of what the Bible says, but like are you giving money away? There is something about that that is like a self-check. If you're not, and you're always like, but I'm waiting till this or that or the other. I feel like you could be subject to, but I do know that he is fairly philanthropic. And so I do think there is something about giving. But anyway, those two things, I would say leadership and encouragement can be really. Yeah, cause I would say at what time, like, I mean, you can see it, like some of these other leaders out there, it's like, they're not leaders anymore.
00:17:20
Speaker
they they They leave the leadership behind. And it's just like, yep it's mine. Like my ship follow me if you want to or not. Like kind of thing. Like I lead this thing. Like it's not actual true leadership. Did you ever listen to the rise and fall of Mars Hill or Mars Hill? no driscoll Oh man. good Yeah, it is. It is. yeah It's a little long, but anyway, side note. Okay. Let's go back to your last superpower, which is constantly learning.
Learning vs Action: Striking a Balance
00:17:47
Speaker
Yeah. Which is such a superpower. Like we always want to be, and and Aaron pushes me more than anything. Like, Hey, we got to keep learning about this industry. And because we want to serve our people better, yeah we can never be complacent. Yeah. Which I love that. And sometimes it's like, Oh man, you're right. Yeah. Okay, but it's a self when you can't go serve people because you feel like you have so much more knowledge to learn. Yeah. You're not confident enough to like, I was like, I need, I got like, cause you do hit this point. Like I remember reading this and oh my gosh, is it true? Once you hit a certain level of knowledge and something, you realize how much you don't know. Yes, right. The closer you get to it, the further away you are. Yeah. You realize like, oh my, like, oh, I'm like good. And, and so,
00:18:31
Speaker
through that it can be very, um, demobilizing yeah but the word humbling to humbling. It's humbling, very humbling, but it can demobilize you in the sense of like, I need to learn this better. It's like, okay, but you, you know, plenty go help people, right? Cause you got to go help protect people, right? Like get them so they're not getting hurt. Cause other people don't know the way you know. And it's like, Yeah, but I got to like read this book. Yeah. you know So, um, good analogy. This is like a monk who knows everything about God, but he just stays in his little village and doesn't say anything to anybody. Like, no problem. Like go talk to people. Yeah. And spread the good word, like, and then like talk about it. But so it's a good thing. It's very stressful. Like that's the downside. Like I'm going to die early. I think so.
00:19:19
Speaker
Yeah, you put all these three together, man, like, it'll protect people and you constantly don't feel like you know enough. It's like, man, like, my anxiety is constantly high. Like, so, I was like, I know, like, so if you're a client of mine, man, like, i'm I'm probably getting called home at like 75 or something. I'm not making it, I'm not making it to my age. I'm grateful that we're young enough that we have a lot of years to learn. and like serve our clients. Yeah. And we get, we're going to constantly learn. I love that. I know. Cause we tell our clients, like i I'm very like, if I'm the same advisor today as I am in five years, fire me. Yeah. Right. Cause if I know that I don't know anything different, yeah then what's you need to fire me. Right. It's good. Okay. The last one, competitiveness. Yeah.
00:20:06
Speaker
I love this. We know how this could go south. i I want to know how you think of the weakness on this, because I i know it. like I want to know if you see it. I was super excited when this came out. I was like, oh, I'm totally calling you out on this one. Yes, on the podcast. Yes. Even better. OK, so competitiveness.
Competitiveness: Drive and Complications
00:20:25
Speaker
I feel like I make everything a competition. That is like everything. yeah We're playing like darts, or we're playing like this. I'm always like, I'm still the guy, I'm 42 years old, and I'm still the guy that if you're like, I'll time ya, I'm like, okay, tell me when it's time.
00:20:45
Speaker
Oh man. So you should've been over at a pool party, there's another guy just like you, like he's a cop, and he's like, uh. He was like, dude, Aaron, let's go. Who can hold the breath longest underneath water? I'm like, okay, let's go. And I'm competitive. Like I'll play along with it. Like, but I know like I'm going to get beat. He's like really like he's a much smaller guy, very cardio and shave. I'm like, you're going to be a whole, you're going to kick my butt. Oh man. but Okay, so tell me how you see this. Okay, so this is the thing. Like you are so competitive in the sense that you don't want to be like anybody else. Like you're like, oh, they're done. No, I ain't doing that. I'm going to be better. That's true. And so like, so sometimes me and Philip have cars called pride. So we need to do this. You're like, no, that's the common way. We're being uncommon. I'm like, Philip, hold on.
00:21:29
Speaker
yeah We gotta to do the common first. You're like, no. I'm like, yes. so So, but yeah, that's the downside of it. You're like, you always want to take a different path. That's not the common path. You know, even if it's the path, it's like, this is so easy. Just do that. And I'm like, no, let's make it harder. You know, it's like, Daniel, let's do this one first. Oh dude, that's great. That's why I had to bring it on. I was like, I'm glad we could laugh about it. Yeah. No, it's great. Cause it does. That's where I like, I know't know in our pot or past podcasts, I always mentioned like we, like we're different in a lot of ways, but we compliment each other in the sense of like, there's times where I'm like, you're like, Aaron, get your butt out there. Yes. Okay. Yes. You don't need to know more letters behind your name. They don't need more letters. Like I'm the guy, like I love training in the dark. Like when we're talking about training in the dark, I don't need to be in the spotlight. Let me train. Let me train. And it's like, and Phillips, like Phillips, like, bring the spotlight on. It's like, yeah so like we kind of like forced each other to do the the opposite and like, and get out the spotlight. And it's like so, but ah yeah, it's good. Okay. Well, hopefully you got to kick out of this. Yeah, this one's fun.
Embracing Strengths and Challenges for Growth
00:22:32
Speaker
It's like, yeah, but yeah, I think about like, I guess the whole point of this is
00:22:37
Speaker
for your listeners, like it's really easy to run to what is comfortable for you. like It's very soothing to me to like keep learning and stay in my little hole to make sure, no, I'm getting better, I'm learning so I can protect people. like But it doesn't do any good if I'm not going to get people to protect. right like And then for Phillip, it's really easy to go out and talk to people all the time. but like Because it's what he's good at. you know but like You can easily run to things yes that you really enjoy and stay to that, but that's how it can be. there's Don't run to what's comfortable all the time. That's good. That's good. I don't really know how to close the podcast better than that. So you've been listening on Commonwealth Podcasts. Until next time, go be in common.
Conclusion: Living Uncommonly and Resources
00:23:23
Speaker
That's all for this episode, brought to you by Uncommon Wealth Partners. Be sure to visit uncommonwealth.com to learn more about our services. Don't miss an episode as we introduce you to inspiring people who are actively pursuing an uncommon life.