Become a Creator today!Start creating today - Share your story with the world!
Start for free
00:00:00
00:00:01
Ep 9. Strength building for health, wellbeing and intimacy with Jen Johnson image

Ep 9. Strength building for health, wellbeing and intimacy with Jen Johnson

S1 E9 · Pressing Desires
Avatar
40 Plays10 months ago

This episode is with Jen Johnson, the founder of Jen Johnson Lifestyle Fitness. She is a personal trainer and Occupational Therapist in training for the NHS. She has over a 1000 online hours and many many more face to face coaching hours under her belt.

She has an empathetic, energetic and supportive training approach and aims to bring strength, fitness and confidence to busy women just like you! Its female fitness to fit your lifestyle.

There is so much evidence to support the benefit of exercise and strength building for women’s health and improving libido so it’s well worth listening in to what Jen has to say.

Check her website out

www.jenjohnsonfitness.wordpress.com

Follow her on instagram

@jenjohnsonlifestylefitness

As always stay in touch with me via email info@pressing-desires.com or DM via the social media channels Instagram, Facebook or Threads @pressingdesires 

Remember to let me know the results of your Red/Amber/Green light act from this show!

You can see my website https://pressingdesires.mykajabi.com/ and sign up to my emails and get your free ebook there.

Let me know your thoughts on this show, I’m always keen to hear your views.

Love and light

Dr Liza

Transcript

Podcast Introduction & Themes

00:00:03
Speaker
Welcome to Pressing Desires, the podcast exclusively for women wanting to improve their health by unlocking their mind, body, spirit and sexual wellness.
00:00:19
Speaker
Join us on this transformative journey as we explore topics that touch your soul, invigorate your body, and reignite your passions. From cultivating a resilient mindset, nourishing your physical health, awakening your spirit, and embracing your deepest desires, nothing is off limits.

Empowerment & Encouragement

00:00:45
Speaker
Pressing desires is your go-to resource, featuring expert interviews, inspiring stories of triumph, and practical tips to help you unlock your true potential. Subscribe now, and together, let's embrace our pressing desires and create a life that exceeds all expectations.
00:01:07
Speaker
Get ready to ignite your passions and live a life with more pleasure. Yes, please. This is Pressing Desires, the podcast that empowers women to improve their health and go on a journey towards mind, body, spirit and don't forget sexual wellness.

Guest Introduction: Jen Johnson

00:01:28
Speaker
Hmm, I'm really looking forward to that last bit.
00:01:37
Speaker
Welcome to this episode of the Pressing Desires podcast. And in this episode, we are talking to Jen Johnson of Jen Johnson Lifestyle Fitness, and you can find her on Instagram.

Fitness & Sexual Wellness

00:01:49
Speaker
So I'll be sharing her handle so you can catch up with her there. But she is wanting to bring strength, fitness, and confidence to busy women and making fitness not only accessible, but also inviting, fun, and empowering.
00:02:04
Speaker
So do check her out. Of course there is loads of evidence to show that strength building and improving your fitness actually leads to better libido and improved sexual desire and sexual function. So this is an absolute key area
00:02:21
Speaker
in my coaching for women wanting to improve their libido. So do tune in to this episode. But before we start with Jen, let's play our red, amber and green light game. And this week's sex act is mutual masturbation. So how do you feel about mutual masturbation with your partner or partners? Is it a red, amber or green light activity for you? So red meaning definitely not, never. Amber means
00:02:49
Speaker
consider it depending on certain boundaries and green means that you are completely open to it or regularly practice this form of sex act. So mutual masturbation is something that I actually recommend in my coaching practice for lots of my clients because it actually enhances intimacy
00:03:08
Speaker
by triggering what's known as mirror neurons in our brains. And I talk about that in my coaching course, the Organismic Ignition, and also in the Sensual Synergy course if you want to learn more about it. But it essentially means that you are pleasuring yourself in front of your partner and at the same time as your partner. So yeah, let me know, what do you think about that? Is it a red, amber, or green light for you? And discuss it with your partner, see how they feel as well.
00:03:37
Speaker
And you might be interested to know if it's a red, amber or green light for them. And as always, let me know. So DM me as you already do. So let me know if it's a red, amber or green, because I'm always really interested to hear your thoughts on it.

Jen's Fitness Business Insights

00:03:52
Speaker
But let's tune in to Jen and get the show going. OK, hello, Jen. How are you? I'm very good today. How are you?
00:04:02
Speaker
Yeah, well, thank you. Thank you so much for joining me. I'm really looking forward to chatting to you today and having our conversation, which we've been planning for a little while. Yes, a little while. We had to change a couple as well, but that's an example of busy life, isn't it? Do you know what I mean? Yeah, classic. Exactly. Right. So first off, why don't you just tell everyone what you do and where they can follow you?
00:04:23
Speaker
Okay, so I run a business called Jen Johnson Lifestyle Fitness. I started it five years ago, very, very much based upon strength training, confidence building for women. Luckily for me, the media trends have kind of followed that narrative of how important strength training is. So whereas
00:04:46
Speaker
five years ago I was like strength training don't go and you know like burn yourself out on a cardio piece of equipment come and lift weights with me the narrative's kind of supporting that now.

Balancing Fitness & Family

00:04:57
Speaker
You can literally find me mainly on Instagram either dancing in my kitchen is what I quite like to post or this morning I posted a like you know like a quick video of me teaching online
00:05:11
Speaker
Um, cause I do online and in person. Um, but with my, with my two year old running around my feet, because a big thing of what I do is the reality of trying to juggle life, uh, real life, not, uh, ring lights and microphones and all of that real life in my kitchen with one dumbbell. Um, and just keeping myself healthy mentally and physically with my children.
00:05:37
Speaker
Oh, brilliant. Yeah, because that's the thing I find really difficult when it comes to exercise is fitting around the kids and work and everything else that I've got to do in this house. Well, it's how I find it.
00:05:52
Speaker
I find it really difficult to keep it on my priority list, even though I know that, you know, it is absolutely one of the most important pillars of lifestyle medicine. So physical activity is essential for our physical and mental health.
00:06:07
Speaker
but I find it really easy to let it slip off my priority list and I think that's because I've always traditionally thought of exercise as you drive to the gym and you have that hour class and then you incorporate the 20 minutes half an hour beforehand and the 20 minutes half an hour afterwards so I'm like right well that's two hours or that's the whole evening gone and I feel like I need to switch my mindset to being like
00:06:34
Speaker
No, why, like, why have I got this kind of ingrained belief that exercise is the whole evening or like the activity of the day? You know what I mean?

Overcoming Exercise Obstacles

00:06:45
Speaker
Totally. And before we, you know, hit record, we spoke about how we often meet people at the end of an end point where they feel like they're in crisis. As a personal trainer, you meet someone where they wouldn't normally have wanted to spend as much as what they're potentially going to spend with you. You know what I mean? To get into fitness, but they feel like they're at the end of their tether with it.
00:07:05
Speaker
And that's what I kind of always encourage people to understand is for me exercise is trying to imagine my life without it. And that's the point that I give myself where it doesn't matter what it looks like doing it as long as I include it. So prior to having children, I would spend two hours in the gym without a problem, without a care in the world, because I didn't have to get home for anybody or it or anything. Having children massively changes that.
00:07:34
Speaker
But I also lived that life for about a year after having my first child and going back to work where I didn't have exercise in my life and I wasn't a well woman, both physically, mentally, mainly. And for me, I feel lucky for that period of my life to be able to reflect upon it.

Strength Training Benefits for Women

00:07:55
Speaker
A lot of people don't get to the point where they've had something, lost something in order to invigorate it again.
00:08:01
Speaker
You know? Yeah. And that's the thing is that you don't realise how good you feel until you look back and compare it. So that's what I find really difficult as a lifestyle medicine specialist is it's very difficult to get people to imagine how good they could potentially feel. So unless they've done something before that's really helped them. So unless they can look back and go, gosh, I was so fit at this point.
00:08:28
Speaker
And I remember what that fitness feels like. I remember what that strength feels like. Otherwise, if they've never done it before, it's very difficult to say, look, you don't understand the potential your body has and that everybody has, no matter what their health condition or any disabilities, etc. Anyone can feel a lot fitter and stronger in their body, can't they? Yeah. And I mean, a lot of people, they may not have done fitness necessarily before, you know, mainly weightlifting because women,
00:08:58
Speaker
just as scared of it. But I do get a lot of women coming to me who will describe a feeling of weakness and how they've started to notice in their bodies whether, I mean, okay, do I see it more post 35? Yes, I do, you know, post 35, 40 sort of thing, where they're starting to experience genuine weakness in their own body. And that is alien to them. And I feel so grateful when they realize that, oh, I need to look at exercise, I need to look at this, you know, weight training and stuff like that.
00:09:28
Speaker
So, I mean, I push a lot, a lot on with people about reflectiveness, massively reflecting into your body. Like even after one session, reflect, how do you actually feel? Like, I feel great. Like what, after this one session? Yeah, I do actually, you know, and I like bottle that, remember that, use that for the motivation next time. And I think it's a slow, slow process, but it's an important process, you know?
00:09:57
Speaker
So yeah, I mean, obviously exercise, I love it. And a lot of people would turn around and go, it's easy for you because you do it as a full-time job. It's like, it actually sometimes makes it harder. You know, that actually sometimes makes it a bit more, oh, I'm giving so much energy to other people. Where is it left for yourself sort of thing? Yeah, yeah, true. Yeah, don't, yeah, it's a, it's a weird one, but I cannot imagine life without it for me. That would be a scary thing. Yeah.
00:10:22
Speaker
Well, we know how important it is because I think it's estimated that physical inactivity, so lack of exercise, actually kills something like five million people a year globally. So, you know, that's how important it is. And the World Health Organization does
00:10:37
Speaker
emphasize the fact that this is like one of our public health concerns is getting people more active, you know, whatever that looks like to that individual because obviously as human beings, we have become more sedentary most, you know, a lot of us do have jobs where
00:10:54
Speaker
we sit down for a long period of time. And like I know from wearing like a step counting watch that my day in my NHS work, I really struggle to get hardly any steps into my life. So, you know, in general practice, you see a patient every 10 minutes, for example, you know, you could be sitting the whole day.

Sedentary Lifestyles & Solutions

00:11:16
Speaker
So I try and do like my telephone consultation standing now just to get like little extra steps in. But
00:11:22
Speaker
It is really, really difficult if you've got an office based job to get movement into like normal, you know, your normal routine, I guess. And working from home is actually, you know, I think we've had the pandemic, obviously, and, you know, revolutionize flexible working and being able to work from home. And I understand the benefits of, you know, childcare solutions and stuff like that. Absolutely. I'm all for it in that respect.
00:11:50
Speaker
But first hand, I'm seeing a lot more sedentary people where, as you say, for me, I like to suggest a step counter. I don't like people to start to judge their workout effort on how many calories that it's, say, you burned or anything like that. But just to be aware of how sedentary you, you know, not you, but who that person is. And I think some people can really shock themselves that, you know, they get to three o'clock in the afternoon and they're like, oh, my God, I've done 600 steps.
00:12:19
Speaker
And I'm like, that means that you're staying still. And these people are often reporting to me how lack of energy they've got, their mood is low, and they're just not motivated to do it. And I mean, you and I could probably both say, if I sat on the sofa all day with my two-year-olds or something, I get two things. I get really, really tired. And I'm like, why am I so tired?
00:12:45
Speaker
and I get the guilt that I haven't really moved much with him. And literally I can fix that in about 30 minutes of just, doesn't have to be going out because we've had terrible weather, but moving around my kitchen, hence why you say you see me dancing around the kitchen. I put on my music caster and just try and do it for one song, empty the dishwasher while I'm doing it. And the energy levels that you feel is incredible, you know, just from that little act
00:13:12
Speaker
but it is hard to get yourself up and into doing it. Yeah, I was going to say that's the hard bit though, isn't it? It's like if you have sat there all day or you've been writing emails or whatever and you're feeling really tired, how do you get yourself to get up?

Maintaining Fitness Motivation

00:13:28
Speaker
What do you say to yourself when you feel like, oh, I've not moved, but I'm so tired. Have you got a specific thing that you tell yourself or
00:13:38
Speaker
Is there a way that you motivate yourself or are you just kind of used to it now with right times up? No, you never get used to it. I say the same about my, I'm not one of these people who's like, I'm 5am club or anything. I wish I was. But all of my teaching is done at six o'clock in the morning. And that's not because I'm an early boot and I love getting up at that time. So same sort of mentality of getting myself to move. It's because if I don't do it, then it is less likely to get done throughout the day.
00:14:07
Speaker
And it has a level of importance in my life that it becomes a non-negotiable. So when people set themselves targets of like 10,000 steps a day, if to you that's not manageable, then all you're doing is creating a barrier. But if you are able to review your week and go, okay, I'm averaging 3,000 steps a day, then
00:14:33
Speaker
Your non-negotiable needs to be, I need to average five a day because this is, this is not making me well where I am. If I can do that little bit more that takes a little bit of effort, then I can do it. And it becomes more about a negotiation between what I want long-term and what I want short-term.
00:14:52
Speaker
Yeah, yeah. And I guess that's the thing, isn't it, is keeping in mind the why. The why have you come to exercise in the first place? What led you to even think about that in the first place? More than just, oh well, you know, the World Health Organization tell us to exercise. You've got to find what your why is for those difficult days, isn't it?
00:15:18
Speaker
Tell us about your personal exercise. So the exercise that you guide women in, is it a bit of everything? Is it heavily focused on strength building exercise? Because that's certainly what I'm recommending more now in my
00:15:36
Speaker
in my practice is, right, you need to look at strength building and incorporating weights because I see a lot of women who complain about mood or cycle problems, weight management problems, especially in the kind of mid 30s to mid 30s to 60s.
00:15:57
Speaker
They will say that they're doing all the steps, they're doing all the exercise, they're eating the same or they're eating less, but they just cannot get the scales to adjust at all. So they get really, really, really disheartened. And they feel like they're trying their absolute best and stuff that's worked for them in the past. They just don't feel
00:16:20
Speaker
it's changing.

Debunking Myths of Women & Weightlifting

00:16:22
Speaker
So they always feel desperate or think that there must be something else going on, some other pathology, a thyroid problem, et cetera. And more often than not, there isn't anything else going on. So I kind of guide them to go, right, you need to find someone who can guide you in strength building and incorporating weights into your exercise. And I do find people are a bit hesitant of, that doesn't sound like it's going to work or that sounds like it'll make me heavier. Yes. You know, that's the kind of fears I hear about.
00:16:49
Speaker
So again, whether we put it in the hands of the media or just the world that we've lived in, there is a fear of weight gain. Now, weight gain and fat gain are two very different things.
00:17:01
Speaker
Like if someone could tell me that you're going to gain five pound in muscle in the next six months, I'd literally be like, where do I do that? You know, because I know the benefit of muscle mass in my body. I know the aesthetics benefits. There's still a big part of me that goes, I do not want to see five extra pounds on my scales. Just to be honest, I probably would still be like, can I have the muscle gain without the five pound gain?
00:17:26
Speaker
Yeah, well, exactly. And that's the thing. I mean, some of the things that I see on Instagram and stuff, and let's be honest, that's what we spent a lot of time of our lives scrolling on and stuff. I try and encourage my clients to look at inspiration, don't look at dictation. So, you know, look at somebody who's changed their life through the behaviours that we're trying to encourage. Look at someone who has gained muscle
00:17:52
Speaker
and weighs the same now as what they did when they started on their journey, but they look completely different. And I mean, you know, what you're not able to do with things like Instagram is you're not able to, you know, cut that person down the middle and see that they are genuinely healthier, you know? And often those health markers
00:18:13
Speaker
of being healthier through, you know, gaining muscle mass. It's a slow process, but it does happen. And it's also a slow process to go backwards as well, which is really important to understand about muscle. You know, once you've built it, it becomes easier to maintain it, but you do have to do the groundwork.
00:18:32
Speaker
Sorry, I've forgotten the question again then. I was putting the base out for the question. I was just saying that a lot of women come to me and when I kind of say well actually maybe what you need to be looking at in order to try and get your weight to where you want it to be is starting with weights and doing strength building exercise because invariably a lot of people have just done the same that they've done before.
00:18:55
Speaker
or walking or cardio beast, but they have that fear of weights that might make the scales go up, not down. Any good personal trainer, and there are lots of good ones out there. There really, really are, especially in Cardiff, but the ones that I know of will educate you to understand why weight training is beneficial for you.
00:19:19
Speaker
And it's beneficial on a multitude of levels. It goes far and beyond weight, as in how much you weigh your gravity against the ground, how much you weigh on a scale. It goes towards your functionality, literally in your ability to be able to, you know, go out for long walks with your children, to be able to pick them up so they can go, you can put them on a swing or you can put them on, you know, slides and stuff like that.
00:19:44
Speaker
I really push on, okay, that's great if you could lift your own children, but don't you want to be a grandparent that can lift their children as well? So beyond that. And then I am meeting more and more clients now that are on borderline for type 2 diabetes and stuff like that. So I try my best in the capacity that I can as a personal trainer, not as a medical practitioner.
00:20:07
Speaker
to educate how important increased muscle mass will allow their body to tolerate glucose and everything a lot better. So, you know, it's about educating somebody to understand the importance of what they're working towards, celebrating other wins other than what a scale tells you as well. So I work on a three level scale, just because it's understandable to my clients where level one
00:20:34
Speaker
I like them to be able to lift 75% or to 100%, really, of their body weight in a deadlift, right? So we practice form, we work up to it. I'm trying to think, like, how much do I weigh? How much would that be? Right, I'm probably way off that, so we must... No to self, must practice more. A lot of people... Must add on a few more kilos. Yeah, well, that's it. So, well, up to 100% in a deadlift. Yes. You should be able to lift your own body weight. Absolutely should be able to lift your own body weight.
00:21:04
Speaker
Back squat I work on about 50% and then upper body we say the range is huge because female upper body strength.
00:21:12
Speaker
can be quite shocking in their ability to lift above their head or ability to push. So we work on a very variable scale. But once we've hit those level one, into level two markers, that's when we start really recording how strong somebody is. You can lift your own body weight, what you want about it, of course you can put a bit more on here. And they really become empowered by that.
00:21:38
Speaker
And what that also encourages is if you say to somebody, if somebody comes to me and they're 100 kilos, right? And I go, right, I'm going to try and build you up to be able to build your own lift, your own body weight. That also then encourages them to want to see that body weight come down a bit, which it will naturally do. So you're meeting it in the middle, you know?

Empowerment Through Strength Goals

00:21:58
Speaker
And you start to see weight training as a completely different thing. It starts to become what you can do, not what you are.
00:22:06
Speaker
You know, if that's become what you're capable of, not what a way in skill says you are. You know, the empowerment comes back to you a hundred times over.
00:22:17
Speaker
Yeah, yeah. And yeah, it's interesting what you said about the upper body and how that can be so variable, because I would say my upper body is like not my peak, not my peak, I'm definitely better on the legs, squats or deadlifts are probably my better than upper body, but the rest of my family, so my mother and my sisters, they're like,
00:22:39
Speaker
superhuman when it comes to bench press. And that is what they like to focus on that and have that competition between each other of who can bench the most. So bench is definitely their favourite. I love that because I think what a lot of people, again, they stay away from what they think they're not capable of. So I really encourage people, I love a back squat. If I'm going to walk in the garage and
00:23:06
Speaker
trainer my own i'm like oh what should i do and as a personal trainer i was like i'll do a bit of back squat um yeah i teach a class on a friday morning uh which is purely upper body strength and we have the biggest giggle like basically some people are like oh my god i can't do this gen they're trying to do one push up but what they've also been able to see and i'm proud of as well my own strength development so they know that eight months nine months ago i started being very uh
00:23:34
Speaker
You know, probably do two push-ups and then I dropped on my knees. And as I've developed, they've developed as well. And it's become not a running joke, but it's become the biggest motivator. You know, I'll get a text message, Jen, I did a full push-up for the first time this morning. And I'm like, that's huge. You know, women accept that they should be doing them off their knees. So no, you should be able to push your body weight off the floor.
00:23:56
Speaker
off the floor. Yeah. Yeah, I think like it. Yes, but it's very traditional, isn't it? To do knee push-ups. I'm definitely like guilty of that as well. I am definitely, that's my comfort zone. But I'm always like, I need to be able to do this. I should be able to do this. I'm fitting in my 30s. Why can't I do, why can't I do endless push-ups? And I always, it's always something that goes on my to-do list of one day I should set myself a push-up challenge and be able to actually do them consistently and
00:24:24
Speaker
well. So it's still there on my list of achievements I need T to achieve. It's a weird one because the empowerment is often in the regression as well. So there's nothing wrong with knee push-ups.
00:24:39
Speaker
But as long as you're your desire and you're aiming to how one day I want to get that on my toes, you know, if there's nothing I do, I still do knee pushups. If there's 15 pushups in a workout, I ain't going to do those on my toes because I'll never get through that workout. So I'll drop it down. I'll use those scales and stuff.
00:25:00
Speaker
But I guess it's just mixing it up isn't like adding in like just just see if you can do one today because I guess you never until you do it you never know when that day comes I guess. No and it's put in the glory in those things something that you can control and you can work towards and if you are having you know patients and clients that are struggling in one area where that might be the weight often when they're not looking at the weight anymore and they're focusing on what they can do the weight drops off and they didn't know it happened
00:25:29
Speaker
I always say it's a great byproduct of experiencing something new, because it does often come as a byproduct, you know? Yeah, time, consistency, all of that.
00:25:40
Speaker
And what about, like, how often should people do, should women do a weight-based, weights-based exercise per week? I know, like, in the public health guidelines, they say you should look at two, so incorporating two strength-based exercises per week so that it isn't just...
00:26:01
Speaker
cycling or swimming, you know, that's the official public health guidance. But that's just like your foundation for being well. Obviously, if you want to improve your performance and aim for a long health span, so a long healthy life, obviously, you need to add in more of that. But what's your, so if a personal training client comes to you, what do you kind of recommend to them? Do you have a set number of days per week?
00:26:31
Speaker
that you recommend? So it all depends on what they're able to do. The guidelines aren't that far wrong. I mean, they're probably set at a minimum, you know what I mean, to get everyone at a minimum. So ultimately, if you could be lifting heavy air weights three to four times a week, and incorporating, making sure that you're active, so whether that comes in the form of walking, whether that becomes in the form of
00:26:57
Speaker
family bike rides and stuff, making sure that you're an active person on top of that, then you're onto a really, really good start. However, for me, it's about breaking down the barriers of that. So if I was to say to someone, you need to be doing four sessions a week, they may instantly go, I can't do that. If I can't do that, I can't do any at all. So I do like to tell people, if you're going to come to me once a week for a personal training session,
00:27:23
Speaker
affordability, time, all of these things. And then we'll focus that on heavy weightlifting that you don't necessarily have access to. So your deadlift, your back squats, your principal lifts with a barbell and everything like that. But at home, we need to be starting to think about incorporating resistance movements.

Incorporating Fitness into Daily Life

00:27:43
Speaker
So
00:27:44
Speaker
jokingly this morning i talked from inside the house because my husband's a shift worker so he was out by six o'clock this morning so i had to teach my class inside and i was doing lateral raises with a wine bottle that is resistance training you know what i mean um i did was it a full one or an empty one i guess that changes the weight it was a full one because it's nearly a kilo in weight um but uh
00:28:07
Speaker
you know I did what I had in order to you know to allow myself to do a resistance-based training you know and exercise so twice a week minimum to start and that can look very in different ways but ultimately we want to be working up to not only doing but enjoying three to four weight-bearing sessions a week
00:28:30
Speaker
Yeah, yeah. And then if someone's new to it, at which point do you normally see that they themselves have noticed a benefit? Is it quite quick? Or do they... I'm guessing if they've enjoyed the session, they'll get that kind of dopamine rush straight after where they feel good and drive away feeling really proud that they've achieved something. But
00:28:52
Speaker
Do you notice a particular point when women say, oh, I look different or I feel different or I'm stronger? You know, there is that saying of, you know, after four weeks, you'll feel it. After six weeks, someone else will mention it. And after eight weeks, you're, you know, on this long run to carry it, keep it keep it going. And, you know, I can't emphasize the importance of nutrition.
00:29:19
Speaker
Um, you know, unfortunately some people will get into exercise and they will use that as a reason to eat more or not recognize the cues in their body that their body's gone, you've wrecked me. So I need more food. And then they just fill it with the wrong sort of things. Um, but most people start to, so I actually, not to have a sales pitch at all here, but I do something called a steam class, which is a group of 20 to 30 women, which come together and I introduce them for the first 12 weeks into weightlifting.
00:29:49
Speaker
And you tend to find that it is around about eight weeks into that block that they're like, I've just never experienced anything like this. And I told my husband the other day that I lifted 80 kilos off the floor. And when they started to tell people things, that's when the mental change has happened. They're noticing physically that they are stronger. They have longer capacity with things. They notice that they can go for longer.
00:30:14
Speaker
you know, running up and down the stairs with washing and stuff. They're like, hold on, that's not that difficult anymore. And then the weight dropping, if that's what, you know, someone's aim is, then we'll normally have a discussion around a bit then of, I'm really enjoying this, so I want to make sure that what I'm eating is going to complement it and it's going to start changing me.

Nutrition & Fitness Synergy

00:30:33
Speaker
And that can come in, you know, I would say everyone needs to give it a good three months, you know. Yeah.
00:30:40
Speaker
The longer it takes to change, the longer it takes to go backwards as well. I will say that, you know? Yeah, of course. Yeah. Because you've just built that foundation then, isn't it? Absolutely. So nutrition wise then, what do you suggest? So if they are new to your classes, what kind of things do you tell them to go and eat when they leave? Protein. But again, comes a lot with education. Pick this up really quickly as a postal trainer.
00:31:08
Speaker
Um, so I've written a couple of documents to kind of support people with this because people don't actually know where the protein comes from. So they know it comes from chicken and, you know, and meat sources and stuff like that. But a lot of people will say to me, Oh yeah, you know, I've had my protein. I've had cheese. There's nothing wrong with cheese. It's a great source of, of food and nutrition. However, it's not a protein source. It's more of a fat source than it is a protein source. You know, I'm getting people to understand that. Oh,
00:31:36
Speaker
I had nuts on my cereal this morning and I'm like, okay. You know, and I understand it again, not being drawn in by the, you know, the branding. Often a company will say, you know, protein beatabix or something like that.
00:31:50
Speaker
And I'm like, oh, guys, it's got like one extra gram. Don't waste your money on it sort of thing. Yeah, absolutely. Because I've picked those off the shelf going, oh, protein this. And they're like, oh, look at the other one. Not really that much protein. Not that much extra protein. Legally, they only have to put an extra 20% of protein in. So if you've got a product that's only four grams of protein anyway, then they can sell one at five grams of protein and that can be classified as a protein version of it.
00:32:18
Speaker
yeah oh that's interesting yeah very very interesting but also because i am a especially since going into the later 30s myself um protein rich but also very very sort of colorful and vitamin rich foods because when people talk about oh god i got these cravings i can't help myself and it coming up to the time of month when i'm you know desperately wanting chocolate and stuff like that and i'm like
00:32:45
Speaker
Every craving that our body, every signal that our body sends us, it is telling us that it's missing something, but it's not able to articulate what. I mean, it could be something as simple as you're thirsty. It could be something as simple as you're tired. So lots of mums don't get a lot of sleep and they're lethargic. And what we read it as is get in a chocolate bar or get in something quick. And our body does recognize that sugars and carbohydrates are quick energy sources.
00:33:15
Speaker
But what it doesn't recognize is the nitty gritty of we may be lacking in maybe say a vitamin K or needing a little bit of vitamin B sort of, you know, and seeking that in our food. So sourcing it from, I don't know, overcomplicate things. I'm just like, make sure you're getting green in every day. Make sure you're getting something red in every day, something orange, because often those different colors mean a different vitamin source that could benefit your body.

Practical Nutrition Tips

00:33:42
Speaker
You're not going to have a big,
00:33:44
Speaker
alarm bell going, well, then you've satisfied this. But over a period of time, you'll notice that your cravings are dropping, your snacking is less, you know, but you've got to give these things time. It's not as simple as... And you will just feel more energy, won't you? Just naturally feel more energy. There's so much more.
00:34:02
Speaker
Yeah, I find the best approach to nutrition is approaching it the same as I do for my kids. So in my kitchen, I've got this kind of sticker chart for them since they were toddlers. And it's just like red foods, purple foods, green foods, yellow foods, orange foods. And it's got days of the week and then they would put a sticker every time they
00:34:22
Speaker
had something of a particular color so they could go, Oh, look how many stickers I've got because this plate has got all these colors. And I kind of thought that's how simple we need to make it for everyone. You know, nutrition and nutrition science is evolving so much now, particularly with the future of precision nutrition and the data coming out about that. But I think that it's just kind of overwhelmed people and it's so
00:34:44
Speaker
people find it so complex that they've tried numerous diets not realizing that you know look at the common themes between diets which is always going to be like well you need protein to build your muscle and you need colorful fruit and veg and you know make sure that you've got that variety and obviously if it's really processed really packaged from a junk food shop then
00:35:08
Speaker
It's not going to be as good. I think a lot of people look for the answers really quickly as well. I mean, we live in a world of, you know, very fast, quick information. Yeah. And I press on just educating people in like sort of bite-sized things rather than going, you need to do this, this and this. And if that should work, because a lot of the time they'll only absorb what they want to absorb.
00:35:31
Speaker
Um, they only do what they feel they can. Whereas if you drip feed the information of, you know, the colorful food, they start to, they'll make them like, I'm terrible with not having my food prepped. So I will often make a, I mean, don't be wrong. I make good choices when it comes to like microwave meals. But if I do, then I will always put a vegetable sauce with it. Always one, because I'm a big eater and microwave meal has never filled me in a, in my life, you know, it's always leave me wanting more.
00:36:00
Speaker
But if I know that if I put my vegetable sources with it and I make sure that that choice is high enough in protein, then I'm going to feel good about my choices. But that is something that I've had to learn of how I can do it and make it easy for myself as well. And as you say, tick the box off of, I've had that color today and everything like that. And I think that once people become knowledgeable of how easily they can make it on themselves,
00:36:29
Speaker
then they're likely to go further with making those small choices every single day rather than the big switch. Yeah. And what about protein shakes then? Do you tell women to incorporate protein shakes to kind of boost their protein? If they're struggling to reach protein. So it's quite shocking when you look at somebody's diet, how little protein they eat.
00:36:57
Speaker
blows my mind, you know, like, oh, I meet quite a few women who they eat half a can of tuna, or they'll eat half a chicken breast. And I'm like, why are you eating half? And I genuinely believe that they've gotten into a habit of believing that they must eat like sparrows in order to keep their body victim, you know? Yeah. Because really a half a chicken breast is not a large portion. It really, really isn't.
00:37:24
Speaker
half a can of tuna. A can of tuna is a person's portion and that includes women, that's not just men. So if somebody is really struggling, like if they say to me, I just can't eat anymore, there's a little bit of me that's like, we really need to look what you're eating and if you can't eat anymore. But I would suggest supplementing with a protein shake if they are struggling to hit protein. However,
00:37:50
Speaker
Realistically, when it comes to protein, you should be eating 1.2 to up to two grams of protein per kilo of body weight a day. So for example, I'm 80 kilos. I'm quite open about how much I weigh. I weigh about 80 kilos. And I look to hit around about 140 to 160 grams of protein a day. And I do not struggle to do that through food at all.
00:38:15
Speaker
I very rarely supplement with a protein shake. I'm not scared to. I've got protein in my cupboards, but I would prefer to see people do it through food because I prefer to see them gain that level of satiety through what they eat, not through supplements, not through dependence on something.
00:38:35
Speaker
There's nothing wrong with them. They're great if you need them. Yeah, yeah, fair enough. Yeah. Because I've, I use protein shakes from time to time mainly again for that convenience of, oh, right. Okay. Well, um, like say, if I'm like working through lunch and I don't have time, cause I've got multiple house skills, this is in my NHS job. Then I'll think, well, I've always got like dry protein powder in ready to go that I just add water to. So I'm like, right. I've got a flask there. I've got that. So.
00:39:03
Speaker
if it's nothing then it's probably better for me to have a protein shake that I can certainly have 20 grams of protein I know well at least that's given me a good contribution because I think like you're probably used to eating that your diet is probably
00:39:22
Speaker
all set up so you know how much protein everything

Tracking & Meeting Protein Needs

00:39:26
Speaker
is. Whereas I think if you're not that familiar in that you haven't tracked it or weighed it or know how much, like not everyone will know how much protein is in a chicken breast, for example. So I think until you start tracking it, you just have no awareness. You just kind of, a lot of people may know, well, yeah, like chicken is protein or steak is protein or tofu is protein for vegetarians.
00:39:49
Speaker
but they might not know how much protein it is unless they use like a like the only way I would have really increased my awareness is through things like tracking it in my fitness pal and stuff like that. And tracking is definitely not for everybody. I have to advocate it if there is somebody who has
00:40:09
Speaker
you know, says they've tried everything when it comes to weight loss. And if they're in a position where they do need to lose body fat, then I have to, you know, encourage it so that I can support them because it's very hard to support someone on a weekly basis. And if you're not seeing what they're eating, you know, if you're not seeing the reality of it,
00:40:30
Speaker
But I do have a client who is actually in her 60s, wonderful, lovely woman, and we really do push on protein. Over the time that we've worked with each other, because she's not wanting to track, I ask her to write her meals down, and she's brilliant at keeping her diary every day, because I do know what goes into it. Do you know what I mean? So if she shows me that she's had a tuna sandwich,
00:40:56
Speaker
And she had a wheat to mix with a protein shake for breakfast because I have encouraged her to do things like that. So I know that she's getting 20 grams of protein in the beginning of the day. So using a protein shake for breakfast is a perfect way for her to know that she's ticked a box, you know? And we've looked at products within the shops that she shops in that, you know, she can tick a box of 20 grams of protein per meal, basically. And we look at around about four meals per day.
00:41:23
Speaker
to make sure she's got a target of a hundred grams of protein a day. Just for the maintenance of continued health, really. She came to me with an injury that had followed on through muscle wastage. So she had a quite catastrophic injury, which had happened through a simple accident, such a simple fall that could have happened to anybody.
00:41:49
Speaker
but her injury was catastrophic because of muscle wastage through lack of movement, lack of protein, all of these things, older age, past menopause.

Fitness for Longevity & Health

00:42:01
Speaker
So I was like, right, we've got to stop this happening again. So that means we lift weights once to twice a week. She actually does one session with me and then one session, Pilates slash ballet style work. So it's great for her muscles once a week online on an app.
00:42:18
Speaker
And then we maintain your protein. We keep it simple, you know? Don't want to make it so scary. Just keep it simple.
00:42:26
Speaker
Yeah. And I think that is the key really is thinking, this is not just about aesthetics or weight loss or the holiday body or whatever. It's about, do you want to live for a long time? And as you get older, you need to be doing weights in order to improve your balance and reduce the risk of falls. That is my main thing when it comes to exercises. I don't want to be old and stuck on the floor because I've fallen and I can't get up.
00:42:51
Speaker
So I, my mother was like, you've got to put that in now. Yeah. My mother was a dementia specialist. So I think I was very lucky in the fact that I learnt this very young that, and I'd share this through secondary conversations of my mum would say, oh, I had a patient who fell today. And I'd be like, okay, someone fell over. Okay. Their injuries were worse, um, because they were older and everything like that. But also I started to learn that falls kind of were like a,
00:43:19
Speaker
start to a negative connotation in your life. So either it brought you closer to, I don't want to be drastic and say it brought you closer to end of life, but what it meant is that quality of life then became affected and quality of life effect, we know that can bring you closer to lack of longevity in life. It's all this sort of thing. So yeah, balance, coordination, muscle, tone, strength, our skeleton doesn't hold itself up, muscle holds our skeletons up.
00:43:49
Speaker
you know, so that's what we need it for. And, you know, muscle helps you towards recovery, muscle helps you with your blood sugars, muscle helps you with just how you hold yourself in a public forum, you know, it's, it's incredible. And strength and power, if we talk about it in a physical sense, massively transfers into a mental sense as well, hugely. And that you just need to look at a, you know, one
00:44:18
Speaker
patient or a group of them to see that change in them, you know?
00:44:24
Speaker
Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. I mean, yeah, mental health, I always recommend people do exercise in order to improve their mental health.

Exercise & Sexual Health Benefits

00:44:33
Speaker
There's so much evidence to show that that is one of the best, you know, management options for it. What about like thinking about women then? Have you, do you talk with your clients or does it come up in conversation about exercise and the benefits on their sex lives? Massively.
00:44:50
Speaker
Yes, how the conversations come about change, but it doesn't change the fact that the conversation does come about pretty much. She will laugh if she listens to this back. Some clients, we've got a funny chat about it. I won't say her name, but I always laugh and say, we've got some shabs going and she's like,
00:45:17
Speaker
she came to me once she's like Jen I don't do any core exercise with me because we had sex this week and it was like hey something um and um we we put the two words together of uh shag and abs so we now call it shabs and I'm like so you've got a good one yeah I was like I've got any shabs going on this week she's like no no no not this week but um yeah we talk about um
00:45:39
Speaker
obviously sex in our relationships because we talk about our relationships, so we talk about our marriages, our partnerships, and everything. And that just rolls onto a conversation where sometimes you're comparing in a positive manner though, do you know what I mean? Like when you're asking questions of, do you, how often are you sleeping with your partner or something like that? And often that can bring out some really in-depth, you know,
00:46:07
Speaker
issues with confidence or how they feel about themselves. So what I always say with my clients, you know, if we do get to that depth in a conversation is that, you know, any sort of work on yourself is not only, it's really attractive to your partner, for one thing, which is, you know, because they can see you are in a better place, you're in a stronger, more confident position.
00:46:31
Speaker
but also how they then feel about themselves. And it's not about their body weight. It's not about how big they are or anything like that. It's literally about self-worth, I find. You know what I mean? They start to really place importance behind their self-worth. And if they believe that about themselves, their partner does. And it definitely transcends into their sex life. And the importance of sex life, I meet a lot of clients who are desperate for children.
00:47:01
Speaker
and having, you know, they start to think, oh, it's not gonna work for us. So they start to look after themselves a bit more. And it all becomes a lot more natural that way as well. I mean, libido is a massive subject, isn't it? It's huge. Because it's interlinked and so many things. So yeah, it's a big conversation point and it's a big, you know, I think the more openly you talk about it. So yes, you can get a personal trainer who will happily talk to you about your sex life.
00:47:30
Speaker
I'll happily talk to you about your shabs. I love that word, that is great. Shabs, shagabs. Shagabs, that is so good, I love that. That needs to be a new programme, so instead of like the teeny body, I mean that gut, that is so boring. That's what your next programme needs to be told. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, it's like shabs, shabs, all about the shabs. But yeah, I think...
00:47:53
Speaker
conversations around sex can make some people clamor, but they can also make some people become really relaxed with you. Yeah. And I mean, once you've spoken about that, and if you've talked about it, and you've had a real life conversation about it, you know, you're, you're, you're a lot more open to talk to working with somebody, and letting them see your,
00:48:20
Speaker
How do I put it? So I can almost be more tactile with somebody because I'm quite standoffish as a personal trainer. I'm not one of these people who's going to hold you or brace your call for you sort of thing. But once our conversations that they become more comfortable with me, I've become more comfortable with them. So I'm more willing to hold their shoulders and pull their shoulders back and stuff like that.
00:48:42
Speaker
And I think we do live in a world where people converse these days over telephone, even in their partners, they have more conversation sending text messages to each other than they do physical contacts. So it's so important to talk about it and become more willing to be tactile, says she, the one who doesn't do hugs. I'm like, oh no, not a hugger.
00:49:05
Speaker
Yeah, I'm not really a hugger either, but you know, I think you can still be, you can still prioritise your sex life, your libido, your desire, but not be a huggy person, so that's fine. A big thing that some people say is how attractive they feel.
00:49:21
Speaker
And I got into a debate with another personal trainer. I'm not a debater. I'm not an arguer or anything like that. I just put another view point forward. We live in a world now where we talk a lot about body positivity. Now, body positivity to me is knowing your body, accepting it, accepting your limitations, but also empowering what you can do with it, you know? And making it the best, the healthiest, making it work for you in the best way that it can.
00:49:50
Speaker
However, I do feel like there's a little bit of, you know, a personal trainer put out a caption about how their husband didn't fancy them anymore. And the comments on it, it wasn't for this personal trainer that I said it, but the comments on it were like, oh, kick into the curb. He doesn't deserve you. And I'm not saying that any person should say I'm not attracted to or anything, because it hurts. Of course it bloody hurts. But what can be really,
00:50:19
Speaker
What can be dragged into, I think, someone's physical relationship sometimes with their partner is if someone speaks badly about themselves, if you're starting to become the narrative, if you're starting to say, oh, I'm fat, or I'm ugly, or my bum looks big in this, or I'm stupid, I can't do this, or I couldn't go to the gym.
00:50:43
Speaker
then that's what becomes unattractive in the relationship, not someone's physical appearance, you know? Because I know lots of couples who don't look at all what they looked like from when they met, and their sex life is still incredible because they are completely in love with the person, you know? They're completely in love with that. You know, people may lose sexual contact in their relationships because of how they feel about themselves, how they talk about themselves, and how they outwardly talk about themselves. You know, it becomes
00:51:13
Speaker
It's not attractive. I'm not going to go on when I rip my husband's clothes off if he tells me, oh, God, I feel disgusted today. Does that make sense? Yeah, absolutely. Because you're going to presume that if they've just expressed all that negativity about themselves, you're going to presume they're not in the mood. That's how basic it gets, isn't it? So it gets to the point where
00:51:33
Speaker
it's just a presumption of, well, they're not up for it. And gradually that just becomes the state of play. So I think that's where exercise can be very good for kind of rebuilding that self-esteem and confidence and trust in your own body.

Mind-Body Connection and Intimacy

00:51:51
Speaker
But it also helps with obviously when you're exercising, so presumably when you're doing a deadlift or squats next to you,
00:51:58
Speaker
you can't be too much in your head, can you? You can't be thinking about the to-do list if you're in the middle of your squat. If you're at the bottom of the squat with your body weight on your back, then you're going to be thinking about getting back up again. So your brain starts practicing that skill of that mind-body connection and your brain being present and thinking about what it's doing at the time, which actually translates into
00:52:21
Speaker
your sex life later on so this is why in my coaching for improving someone's libido is that like that is why exercise is one of the modules because of that how that translates into helping you to become more present when you are actually with your partner or when you are experiencing
00:52:43
Speaker
intimacy, it's a skill that needs to be practiced that often people have lost or it's very easy to have when you meet someone new for the first time and you're really attracted to them because that instinctive response takes over. But if you've been with your partner for a really long time, then you need to use those skills of being more present, not thinking about anything else, which obviously women are very skilled at thinking about multiple things all at once. Absolutely.
00:53:10
Speaker
I find that exercise really helps with that of not only kind of rebuilding your body, feeling stronger, feeling fitter, feeling more confident, but also that practice skill of connecting to your body and feeling where it is in space. I love that because I haven't ever looked at it like that. And I really, really love that because I can absolutely see that. I often say that, you know, people come into a class or they turn on to a class
00:53:37
Speaker
And for that hour or that 40 minutes or whatever that they do, that's what they're focused on. And that's why it becomes some people's therapy. And that's why it becomes some people's meditation. Because for that hour, they don't think about anything else. And that sort of space is incredible. Having that space is unbelievable. And if you can practice that skill and transcend it then into the bedroom, then yeah, that is so important because I think
00:54:07
Speaker
One of the biggest things for women my age with young children is that there's always something else to do. And isn't that awful? Do you know what I mean? I joke about it and say, oh, say to my husband, well, if you want a bit more, what you could do is you could book us a night away. You know what I mean? Because have you noticed you probably have women say this to you all the time.
00:54:27
Speaker
If I go on a night away with my husband, there's no way that we're not going to have sex. We do. Do you know what I mean? Because that's your priority, isn't it? And also, women will think, well, I've spent the money now, so I've spent the money, so I want to get my money's worth. And then you think, that shouldn't be your way of looking at it. You should be going, right.
00:54:45
Speaker
you're here to give yourself time to enjoy yourself and make the most. I become a different woman if I'm on my own with my husband but if I'm in the house there's always something else to do isn't there, there's always the dishes, there's always just something to get ready for tomorrow, even work you know there's that last email to send or that last text message or whatever.
00:55:05
Speaker
But that being away, it works, but you can't do that all the time. So you need to learn and you need to practice to be able to get that awareness in your own room.
00:55:18
Speaker
Yeah, because it's just a mindset, isn't it? Like at the end of the day, all that stuff, even if you went to the hotel down the road, or even if you went all the way to the Maldives, all that stuff is still left to do.

Presence & Quality Time

00:55:29
Speaker
100%. That's the thing. And it is just that mindset of thinking, well, I can't do that because of
00:55:35
Speaker
physical distance, therefore I will now be more present. But actually you could develop that skill of going, I'm not going to do that now because I don't want to do the dishes or the laundry or the school lunches or tie to the house now because this is what I'm doing for this next period of time. But it's a practice. It's a skill that needs developing over time. But that's where
00:56:03
Speaker
introducing those kind of concepts in other bits of your life means your brain is well-versed and will learn it much quicker, which is why meditation helps, why exercise helps, but all those things help connect your brain to your body. And reflect in that you are able to do it because I'm sure you need people who go, I just couldn't do that. I just wouldn't be able to do it. You go, well, can you do it when you're exercising? Or are you able to do it if you do this? Okay, yeah, I do do it in those scenarios. So understanding that you can probably replay that
00:56:32
Speaker
in another scenario. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. Well, that's where I use the practices of motivational interviewing. So it's a type of psychological behavior change way. So that's how I use it in coaching. And that is all about getting the person to realize that, actually, I do that. I have got that skill. Yeah. I'm waiting for that light world moment for them to go. Yeah. Yeah. I definitely have that. And here is the evidence of that.
00:56:58
Speaker
So just to challenge those beliefs. Yeah, and light bulb moments happen literally daily in the gym environment, if you allow them to happen. And, you know, so I always say to people that you'll get people coming along to a gym class, some people are larger, some people are smaller, and some people are, you know, coming from different sports or some people have started not at all.
00:57:20
Speaker
And I would say that the variance of what we're going to do in these classes with regards to weightlifting and with regards to functional movements, you know, your step ups, your jumps, your slams and your things like that, you're all going to be good at different things. So there's no comparing in this environment. Some of you are going to be amazing on the rowing machine. Some of you are going to be incredible at lifting weights. And there's no, you know, it's about identifying what you're good at.
00:57:47
Speaker
still being open to other things, but getting better at something that you had no idea you were bloody good at. Exploring that, and I always say to people, and I shouldn't, but I feel like I put a guilt on them. I'm like, what would you say to kids? If they said, I can't do that, would you say, please try it, at least try it and you'll know, or don't give up so soon and all of those things.
00:58:11
Speaker
I'm like, what would you say if your kids said that about themselves? Yeah, absolutely. This is why I can't ever say it because my daughter, Tora, obviously, despite her struggles and her weaknesses, she'll still challenge herself and carry on. So she still goes to gymnastics and she'll say, I'm nowhere near as good as everyone else, but she still wants to do it. So I'm like, right, I can't complain or come up with excuses because if a nine-year-old challenges me on that, I'm like, I've got to suck it up because I guess that's
00:58:40
Speaker
I need to follow her as a role model. Yeah, and I think she's a great role model. Kids are often our best role models. I'm the biggest, I'm guilty for it, terrible. If we just took 10 minutes to kind of look at our own lives through their eyes for a minute, we'd probably realise we're nutty buggers.
00:58:58
Speaker
I know that, you know, a lot happier,

Self-care & Family Dynamics

00:59:00
Speaker
isn't it? Absolutely. Absolutely. So why don't you share with us what your one tip is that that is good for your own wellness. So what's like the most important thing you do that makes you feel like, yeah, this is contributing positively towards my wellness and is going to put me in good stead for a long, happy, healthy life. I never, I try never to feel guilty about spending time on myself.
00:59:26
Speaker
I'm not frivolous with that time. I manage it so that it doesn't necessarily affect other people in the household. But I make sure that I have it. I don't give it up. I don't want to be a martyr to, oh, I spend no time on myself because I spend all my time on everybody else in the household. That doesn't lead to a happy person. And your household is only happy if everyone in it is happy.
00:59:52
Speaker
So between myself and my husband, I became very ill eight years ago mentally after the birth of my son, because I did that, because I went out and I was still working 40 hours a week trying to be the best mum that I could be. So what I did is I sacrificed any time for myself and I became quite mentally unwell. And it wasn't a good space. So we had the conversation of what can I do to give myself an hour a day?
01:00:21
Speaker
And for me it's exercise, for some it may be reading a book, for some it may be having a walk, it could be having a bath, whatever. But me and my husband know that that is something that we talk about every week to make sure that we get it in. It might not be an hour a day, it might be three hours a week, but I don't feel selfish for it because I'm a much worse person if I don't do it. So realizing that it's not selfish to do an hour of self-care a few times a week, it's not selfish at all.
01:00:49
Speaker
That's my topic. That is such a good tip because I think it's so easy for people to embrace that kind of martyr role and think that they're doing good and it's being selfless, but actually it isn't because no one wants to be around the martyr. That's the thing is that martyr isn't good energy that helps everyone else because it just makes other people feel guilty, which is not a good emotion for anyone.
01:01:16
Speaker
I'm a mother of two boys and I do not want them to go into relationships when they're older, believing that one person in that relationship has to sacrifice themselves for the happiness of the family unit. So whether they end up in relationships with men or women or whoever,
01:01:34
Speaker
they need to understand that everyone is equal in that household and everyone's mental space and self-care space is completely equal because as soon as that balance starts to tip, that's the sort of thing that rolls over into the bedroom. That's the sort of thing that rolls over into just having that relationship and it not becoming what let me anymore, it becomes an existence.
01:01:54
Speaker
Yeah, absolutely. In order for everyone to thrive, you've got to make sure no one is feeling like they are that martyr and no one's embracing that identity. And so not talked about enough, I think. That's my biggest tip. We've kind of normalised being a martyr as a woman.

Setting Goals & Accessibility

01:02:11
Speaker
I would say that is an excellent tip.
01:02:14
Speaker
So where can people find you? Where can people work with you if someone's interested in now doing 100% of their body weight, which I'm now set as my first model. I'm going to go to the gym later and be like, oh gosh, I'm a bit off. Okay, so what I would say is that's something we've all worked for. I'll follow that tip of like reducing the body weight first. That's what I'm trying to do, reduce the body weight first so I don't have to lift. Well, there's what I call my benchmarks. So don't go into the gym and go, right, I made this. I'm going to try to...
01:02:43
Speaker
lift that off the floor. What you want to do is start easy and think how far maybe you have to go sort of thing. You'd be surprised at how far you don't have to go with it. But if somebody wanted to work with me
01:02:57
Speaker
I've tried to make myself so accessible, but, you know, I'm a bit too accessible. I do online, I do big, large lady groups, lady training groups, one in Dragon Athletic, one up in function gym here in the evenings, and I also do personal training in my own little studio, which is up in Church Village. But if you just want to have contact with me to just ask a question,
01:03:21
Speaker
then it's at J. Johnson, you know, J. Johnson, underscore fit coach. And what I will say is if I have the time, and I probably put myself out there, but if I have the time, I will always help people find something that's accessible to them. Because one thing I have built up over 10 years of doing fitness is I know so many gyms, so many personal trainers, and I am more than happy to put you in contact with someone who would work for you, because I'm not going to work for everybody. You know, and that is a big thing. Find someone,
01:03:51
Speaker
or a community that works for you and go and embrace it, go and sit in it, don't go, all those clicks in there, go and be, just stick your nose in and be like, hi, speak to me. But I'm really willing to kind of say, okay, you live in this part of Cardiff, I know someone so works there, because unless we're kind to each other and we do that, we're not going to be able to find out where some of these hidden gems are around where we live.
01:04:20
Speaker
Yeah. And the world is abundant, isn't it? So many people, so many people to help, isn't it? And everyone needs to be active. That's the thing, isn't it? Yeah. You know, everyone needs to embrace it. We know that is one of the keys to happy, long life. So yeah, we all just need to prioritize it as well. Yeah, I think hopefully we'll see, you know, that things are changing out there. And I think
01:04:44
Speaker
Hopefully we're going to see more accessible fitness and wellness things as time goes on, because I know that a lot of people's barriers are time money.
01:04:54
Speaker
And I'll be honest as a personal trainer, I feel really uncomfortable sometimes charging a lot of money for sessions because I wish I could do things for free.

Closing & Contact Information

01:05:05
Speaker
But I do think that things are becoming more accessible. There's a lot more social enterprises and stuff out there that are really starting to see the benefit on
01:05:15
Speaker
on physical movement and health and, you know, those are coming about as well. And it's really important to become educated with where those are and where we can see that. Yeah, definitely. There are so many schemes everywhere when it comes to exercise, which is good. Anyway, I'll obviously put the links to your social media handles in the show notes as well. So that'd be great. But thank you so much, Jen. No, thank you, my lovely. Thank you. Bye. Bye bye.