Introduction to Stay Sparked
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Welcome to Stay Sparked.
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On this show, we explore how to stay inspired in the modern world through the most profound lessons from Burning Man, relationships, entrepreneurship, psychedelics, spirituality, travel, and more.
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On today's episode, we discussed the power of kindness.
The Power of Kindness
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We talked about little ways like name tags and big ways like refugee rescues of how kindness can change the world.
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We also talk about how important it is to be kind to ourselves and how then the world reflects it right back to us.
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Enjoy the episode.
Meet the Hosts and Listener Interaction
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Welcome to Stay Sparked.
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We are three longtime friends who have been having conversations inspiring each other for over a decade.
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So we want to invite you in and share the conversations with you.
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Thank you so much for listening.
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If you've been enjoying the conversations, we'd love it if you leave a rating and a review on Apple Podcasts so we can share the sparks with others.
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For example, thank you Raven Star for your review saying harmonious trifecta.
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What a beautiful balance these three friends have together.
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I love all of the conscious topics they cover and how they weave their own life experiences in a fun, positive conversational flow with beneficial hacks and affirmations.
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Maybe your review will be read on a future episode.
Hosts' Projects and Life Changes
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I am the host of the Hug Nation podcast and the creator of the Love More Fear Less t-shirt store.
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And I am a holistic healing arts practitioner, and I am also the founder of Power Affirmation Project, which teaches life skills for sustainable happiness.
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And I am the founder and CEO of New World Nutritionals, a nutritional supplement company with products designed to improve and elevate your state of mind.
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And we like to start off with some gratitude.
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So Betsy, would you share some gratitude with us?
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Yes, I am going to share my gratitude for this beautiful wedding that I was just at this weekend.
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It was a three and a half day wedding, which was the way to go.
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It felt so good to get to such quality time with beautiful souls and get to meet their families and get to really drop in.
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So I'm really, really grateful for this way of getting to celebrate love with a nice, lengthy, beautiful celebration.
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So I am grateful for you to know, and I'm sure there might be some people out there listening who know, but I myself and my partner are expecting a newborn baby arrival coming up.
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in a few months, about five months from now.
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And what I'm grateful for, I mean, so many things around that, but one of the things I'm grateful for of late is the new kind of, what's the word I'm for?
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Motivation to get healthy and to kind of, it is narrowed, this impending adventure has narrowed my focus on a lot of things and being like, okay, I don't really have time for that
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I need to be focusing on this thing.
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So it is, uh, gotten me very focused and very motivated to do a lot of things that I think are good for me, you know, regards to eating right, getting up on time, what I'm spending my time doing and you know, all that stuff.
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So it's really like got me, um, focus on a lot of positive things.
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So thanks for the new, um,
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newborn adventure coming up soon.
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I'm feeling grateful for that.
Exploring Kindness through Personal Experiences
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It's already begun.
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You got a, a, a in utero trainer motivating you.
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The motivational, motivational speakers haven't said anything yet.
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I am grateful this week for experience this weekend, had a chance to do the first Saturday's outreach for people experiencing homeless that I get to do.
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it's just so rewarding to to get to connect with people that are outside of my normal social interactions and and just a simple moment of connection a little bit of piece of conversation is is so nourishing so i'm so grateful for that opportunity and speaking of opportunities for connection our topic this week is kindness and the power of kindness
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And I actually, when we circled up the volunteers before we served at First Saturdays, I mentioned that, look, the world is a very confusing place.
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It's hard to know who's the good guys, who's the bad guys, when you're doing the right thing, if your recycling is going in the right place, if you've got the right electric car.
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But there's one thing that to me is absolutely black and white.
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It's good to be kind.
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And so when we have those opportunities to be kind, it's so, it feels so good.
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And so I'm excited today to talk about kindness and kind of what it means to us, how we express it and how it really, how it affects our lives and the lives of those we touch.
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Betsy, you were talking about a recent experience.
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Do you care to share a little bit about the kindness in your heart right now?
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I feel so filled, so filled up.
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So this wedding that I was at recently was some new friends and I met probably close to a hundred people, just a lot of people on a short amount of time.
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And one of the things that was so deeply nourishing to me was I felt this very beautiful,
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spirit of seeing each other.
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There was a lot of eye contact.
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There was a lot of name remembering, like repeating each other's names and really, and a lot of hugs actually.
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And what that did for me as somebody who is kind of newer to this group of people made me feel so included and
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I just felt really more open because people were remembering my name saying, Hey Betsy.
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Oh, Hey, I'm so grateful I met you Betsy.
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And there was just this really warm feeling and that helped me to settle into this environment, which, you know, I think or needs as humans as a sense of belonging, right?
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Right, because in our primal nature, if we don't belong to the community, then we, you know, may die, right?
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When we are, when we were first developing our species, if we're not part of the group, then we could actually die.
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And so there is this part inside that is like, oh, I need to feel like I belong.
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And so in these subtle ways of inclusion, which is, you know, one of the Burning Man principles, and Burning Man has really taught me that, is to be able to acknowledge people, to offer an extension of support or a hug or whatever that might be.
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By the end of the weekend, I felt like these people were my family.
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I felt, wow, I am so in love with so many people.
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My heart is so full.
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I feel like I can go out into the world even more bright and more filled up.
Tools and Stories of Everyday Kindness
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And so, yeah, I'm really inspired to keep sharing that same kind of inclusion, that same kind of inclusivity of hugs and eye contact.
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You know, that's interesting that some of the little details that you mentioned of eye contact and names is part of the intro that I do at First Saturdays where we have everybody have name tags.
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And partially that's because my grandpa used to wear a name tag every day.
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And he said that that is a invitation to the world that I would like to connect with you more.
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You know what the wedding gift was?
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They gave everybody a really nice mug that had the lid on it, like a travel mug.
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And they printed out name tags on, or they laser engraved on little wood name tags.
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And so we all had name tags, which is great.
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I'm like, gosh, can we do this everywhere?
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It's like a, it's like a notice to the world.
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Like I'm open to you being closer and more connected to me.
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Yeah, I think that's the thing with name tags where, I mean, there's a few different ways to go about it, but I think what it does, at least in my experience, is it invites a meeting.
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It invites a chance to meet on a more personal level.
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You know, when you go to like a store or shop where somebody's got the name tag on, there's a couple different ways to approach that.
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It kind of all depends on how you say somebody's name or the inflection you put on somebody's name.
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But if you're nice, if you're friendly about it, it's like, hey, Sandra, can I help you?
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Yes, Sandra, maybe you can help me.
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And they're like, it brings them closer.
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You feel the energy of it.
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And so, yeah, the idea of, yeah, we should all wear name tags.
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That could be a that could be a fun, fun little boost to society.
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Yeah, when we say someone's name, it really lights people up.
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I know when I hear someone say my name is, oh, I'm called into presence.
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I feel seen, cared for.
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Yeah, it's like a connection tool.
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And I think that's, I've been thinking about that as far as kindness.
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It's like the salve for connection, you know, and a name tag is a way to kind of announce I'm open to it.
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But I think that's one of the things that I try to really practice every morning.
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I try to do this love morning broadcast.
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And part of it is encouraging myself and others to look for opportunities for kindness.
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Because sometimes the world is,
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Sometimes it feels like it's a scary word to world to be kind.
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I think that sometimes we're even encouraged to protect yourself.
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Don't be taken advantage of.
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And so it really takes some courage to go out into the world with a name tag or not and just trying to find ways to be kind.
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I wonder if you guys ever feel like the world is not open to kindness.
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Um, certainly, certainly.
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And it's easy to kind of get caught up in that.
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Um, I mean, related to, to the work that you are, you're doing, John, um, there was, there was a time where I've, I've kind of have gone back and forth when it comes, you know, when we encounter somebody who is, you know, feeling housed or feeling they are houseless or they're dealing with some, you know, issues or addiction.
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They're on the, for whatever reason, they're on the street, uh, and living on the street.
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It is super easy for when we walk by these people to just ignore them and act like we don't see them or we do see them, but we don't care about them or whatever.
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And I've kind of come full circle.
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I have definitely spent a lot of time doing that.
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And I've come full circle on that.
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It's like, OK, I might not have any change for you.
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I might not have any money I can give you, but I can at least give you presents.
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I can at least give you acknowledgement.
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Just like eye contact being like, I'm sorry, I can't help you today.
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Best of luck, so on and so forth.
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And you would think that's kind of like a, that would be met with like cynical kind of thing.
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But my experience has been like, that is appreciated.
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It's like, well, okay, you see me.
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Thank you for that, if nothing else.
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And a lot of times they're like, thank you.
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And it's a genuine thank you.
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So there's – it takes – in my experience, it takes effort to not be kind.
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Like it actually takes effort for me to ignore somebody or to not –
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Just give them some presence and acknowledgement.
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And it's like, it just, no, it's just grab.
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Hi, hi, you know, whatever it's, it's easier in my experience.
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And I think it's true for a lot of people.
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It's easier to be kind than to, than to be indifferent or to be anything else, but frankly, so that's been my experience.
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I love, I love that so much too, because sometimes I'll be passing somebody on the freeway or getting off the freeway and there's somebody with a sign.
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If I don't have anything, I always try and do that.
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Like give them a peace sign or give them a little like eye contact and just send them love.
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Um, I personally, I've encountered quite a few unkind people on my journey.
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There's people out there that are just
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not kind and they are crunchy and, uh, you know, rude or just, that's just the, whatever they're going through.
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projecting some anger.
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And I recently actually had that experience of an up close and personal woman who I was actually living with for a short time, maybe just a few months, thankfully.
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But she was very closed and very unkind and not open to connect and was actually quite mean.
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at certain moments.
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And I, at first I took it very personally and it was really hard because I'm the type of person that like makes friends very easily.
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I love all my people.
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And I oftentimes I met with a lot of warmth.
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And so it was kind of shocking to my system at first to feel such sharp pricklies.
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And I know I didn't do anything wrong to hurt this woman.
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Um, but it really threw me off at first.
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after some time of really being with that energy, I got to process it and check in and really tune into what do I have to learn here from, you know, this woman's projections and how she's treating me.
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And I, I got to see some things that I didn't know.
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I learned some things about her that she was
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really going through a hard time.
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She was, um, I'm not going to get into the details, but she had lost some things in her life and she was very upset about some things that had nothing to do with me.
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And I, I started to have compassion for her and I started to just soften around taking things personally because of course it's in the nature to take it personally.
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But then once I started to have a deeper understanding around what she was going through and knew that it had nothing to do with me, I just started to focus on my own self-care and started to just send love energetically and psychically, even though I know she was not able to connect.
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And it really helped me get through it a lot.
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And it reminds me too, sometimes, you know, if you come up to a cashier and they're
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crabby or they're a little snarly and they're not so happy to be there.
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I used to take it personally and I used to walk away and be like, what a rude person.
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Gosh, what's their problem?
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And now I've gotten to a place of considering what they might be going through.
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Maybe their parent just died or maybe they have somebody sick at home or maybe they are really feeling sick, whatever it might be.
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And so it's actually an invitation to offer more kindness.
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And so that's when I start to smile more.
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And that's when I say the cashier's name, right?
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Like, you know, thank you so much for helping me out today, Jenny.
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And that might actually bring a little bit.
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And that's what I ended up doing with this woman.
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After I got over my own, like, why does she like me?
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I started to go, okay, you know what?
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How can I offer a little bit of kindness?
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How can I just be in a little bit of service here?
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Maybe wash her dish once in a while.
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Maybe just, you know, tend to the space a little bit.
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Just let her know that I'm here and it's okay.
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And we ended up having a really graceful completion of our time together, which I'm so grateful for because it could have blown up into a huge fight.
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And it didn't because of kindness.
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Oh, that's awesome.
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You know, there's,
Kindness vs. Negativity: A Choice
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it, it's very difficult, I think, to continue being kind when you are met with coldness or pricklies.
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And I think that for me, it's really helpful to think of myself as a love ambassador or a love warrior, because, you
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It takes something to keep being nice when the world doesn't reflect it back.
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It's easy when you are at a wedding or you're at Burning Man and you go, nice pants, and they say, love your hair.
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You know, it's like, yay, we're all like lifting each other up.
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And that's freaking awesome.
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But when you are in the world and you go, nice pants, and someone gives you a scowl, my instinct is not going to do that again.
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Let me just put my head down.
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I don't like that feeling.
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Do not like that feeling.
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But if I can remember, okay, this is when it takes the courage.
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This is what I'm training for.
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This is all the privilege that I have of all the communities I have that have taught me how to be loving and caring.
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I need to now step up and summon it and shine it back and keep doing it.
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And honestly, I believe that if you are feeling lost in the world and what am I supposed to do with my life?
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If you just do that, if you just go out and show kindness,
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Little bitty things of kindness.
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Thank you, Jennifer, for bagging my groceries.
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Dude, at the end of the day, you can sleep well knowing, okay, I live a life of purpose.
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I'm a kind person.
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Well, and then we're because we're we're getting into is like the levels of kindness, because it's like, as you guys have both said, it's easy.
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You know, if you're like, we're walking around the woods like Snow White, we're like happy with all the we're like, la la la la.
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And all the animal, all the animals are flying onto our hands.
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And then, you know, we're singing to the birds.
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It's easy to be kind in that level.
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But when there's somebody who doesn't necessarily receive our kindness or they're like, or whatever, now we're talking about getting into compassion, which kind of, in my mind, walks hand in hand with kindness.
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And so when we're met with a little bit of resistance to that, that's when we have to, okay, go a little deeper, source that compassion for somebody who's not...
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you know, operating or feeling at their best and not take that person.
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And like you say, it's one of the four agreements that we keep having to remind ourselves of and being like, okay, so no sources, compassion.
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It's not, I don't, it's not personally, they got their own stuff going on.
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I don't know what it is.
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I don't, maybe I don't need to know.
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I can still be kind.
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I can still offer them some,
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you know, some kindness, because, you know, as we said, the world is really harsh in many ways and kind of getting harsher.
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So it's ever more vital to show up in a way that, you know, people might not remember, you know, as it says, people might not remember what you said, but they'll always remember how you made them feel.
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Even if they never see you again, you'll be that nice person that they encountered during that day.
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You were at least one good thing that happened during that day.
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So that's a good place to be.
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It does make the world a better place.
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It reminds me, actually, I did a guided meditation from this woman, and she had us visualize what the highest and best version of the world would look like.
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What is like, you know, world peace look like?
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Or what is your vision for humanity?
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And when I was imagining, I was watching people on the street high-fiving each other.
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And I was just imagining, you know, hundreds and thousands of people passing each other by and smiling and saying hello and joy, like kind of passing this ball of light around.
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And I really feel like kindness can uplift humanity through some of this very challenging times of fighting and war and division and, you know, even just little bits here and there within our own homes, within our own communities, within our own cities.
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simple practices you know and i think that what people sometimes say if i could just make a difference in one person's life guess what you can if you there the number of times like when you betsy when when that person was having a bad day and they were frustrated they were probably slipping into a mindset of
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life sucks, people suck.
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And then when you walk through and you're like, hi, and you really give them presence and kindness, you become the exception to the rule.
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You break that story that people suck.
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And the number of times that I have witnessed that happen, like at Burning Man, people have said, I was feeling like I was at the end, like I was done.
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And then they say, and then I was sitting on the couches
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at your camp, someone walked up, they offered me water.
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They offered me what I, the conversation, they just started asking me questions.
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And I was like, huh, this person is really genuinely being kind to me.
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Like, and that, that click of like,
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just dramatic effects and that person that stays with someone forever so the the this the the degree of of impact or the of it doesn't take a lot and i think that if we can remember just like look for little ways little ways and i'm going to just jump a little further because i think when you start practicing ways to be kind in little ways little ways little ways
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you will then be ready when you have the opportunity to do something grand.
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And because you've been practicing and you know how good it feels and you know what the impact can be, you can jump.
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And there was a moment when the Ukrainian crisis was getting really terrible.
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There was a woman in our gratitude circles that fled her home.
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her family and another person in the gratitude circle who had just been practicing being kind and they didn't know her except for through this gratitude circle that lived in paris got in their car drove 10 hours picked up another person in the gratitude circle that lived in achan germany drove another 10 hours to the polish border and picked up these family and helped find them a home in hungary you know it's like the
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And that is a type of life-changing, rippling kindness that they were ready.
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When you see yourself as someone who does kind things, first it's saying hello, it's saying someone's name, it's opening the door, it's offering someone if they need help with their groceries, and then it's saving a family.
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I think about that a lot.
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it's, it's the, it's the direction we're going, not the distance, because if we just keep going in the right direction, eventually we will find ourselves making a difference.
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And, you know, I want to speak to something else around this, the power of kindness can ripple and also the opposite, right?
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Just as much as someone smiling at you can stay with you for a long, long time.
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or change your day or somebody's little generous act can really stay with you, so can the opposite.
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You know, it can be so impactful if we're rude to somebody or if we poke somebody or we're say a mean thing, even a tiny little mean thing that can stay with somebody for their entire life, right?
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And so it's really up to us to each stay mindful around the ways in which that we can, you know,
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Know that our words are powerful.
00:23:41
Speaker
Our actions are so powerful.
00:23:43
Speaker
And if we care about making this world a better place, those little things make such a big difference.
00:23:51
Speaker
Yeah, it's it's I mean, it gets in it gets into a bit of esoteric viewpoints, but it is.
00:24:01
Speaker
It's absolutely true.
00:24:02
Speaker
Like I don't kind of what you focus on expands.
00:24:06
Speaker
I've seen too many too much evidence to support that for me to just discount that.
00:24:12
Speaker
And I have the conversation a lot, a lot where I've I've there was a lot of part of my life where I was fairly negative and I had a lot to.
00:24:21
Speaker
I was, I was a complainer essentially.
00:24:24
Speaker
And the universe looking back on it was like, okay, you like to, you like, I actually, I took pleasure from complaining and the universe is like, oh, you like to complain.
00:24:33
Speaker
Here's some more things for you to complain about.
00:24:36
Speaker
And I was in this spiral and then filing was like, you have to like, and breaking that was tough, but essential to be like, all right,
00:24:45
Speaker
Yeah, there's always something to complain about, but stop.
00:24:48
Speaker
And just be more appreciative, gratitude, be kind in the world.
00:24:52
Speaker
And my karma is pretty quick.
00:24:56
Speaker
So when I kind of slip on that, it gets reflected back to me very quickly.
00:25:00
Speaker
And also the other way, when I'm kind –
00:25:04
Speaker
I don't do it for the universal benefit, but it's there and it comes really quickly.
00:25:10
Speaker
And it's never like a direct one-on-one kind of thing.
00:25:12
Speaker
If I'm kind to this person, they're going to do something nice for me.
00:25:14
Speaker
It's like, no, no, no.
00:25:15
Speaker
I'm just kind in the world.
00:25:16
Speaker
And the universe is like, oh, that's your vibe.
00:25:19
Speaker
Here's more things for you to be grateful about.
00:25:22
Speaker
Here's more things for you.
00:25:23
Speaker
Here's some more kindness coming your way.
00:25:24
Speaker
So that's what you're putting out there.
00:25:26
Speaker
It's, it gets, it gets like proven time and time again that I just don't even really
00:25:32
Speaker
It's not rocket science.
00:25:35
Speaker
Life is a, it's like a boomerang.
00:25:37
Speaker
Louise Hay always talks about as a boomerang, what you put out comes back to you.
00:25:45
Speaker
And I think that that takes, it takes some taking risks.
00:25:48
Speaker
You know, I think that there's a lot of us that are trained to like, don't, don't be taken advantage of, keep your guard up.
00:25:53
Speaker
And sometimes I think like, I'll hear stories of someone that's starting to feel really good about, ah, there was someone at the, at the gas station and they were, they needed help.
00:26:02
Speaker
And so I helped them out.
00:26:03
Speaker
And then the comments online, you were scammed.
00:26:05
Speaker
They were taking advantage of you.
00:26:10
Speaker
And I think it's like, so what?
The Optimism Tax of Kindness
00:26:14
Speaker
Do you want to spend your life like protecting yourself from being taken advantage of?
00:26:20
Speaker
Because you're going to miss out on so much good stuff.
00:26:24
Speaker
I would way rather be taken advantage of a few times and just keep open, keep showing kindness.
00:26:30
Speaker
Because I would rather be someone who is kind, period.
00:26:36
Speaker
not someone who is kind to the right people who make sure that it has effect.
00:26:40
Speaker
It's like, no, it's just like, if you're mean to me, I'm going to be kind.
00:26:45
Speaker
If you're a terrible waiter to me, I'm going to tip you.
00:26:47
Speaker
Well, I'm just, that's who I am.
00:26:52
Speaker
And that's, and that's a good way to be.
00:26:54
Speaker
And there's, there's like, and there's an objective reality that we all share.
00:27:01
Speaker
Like all three of us are on, you know, a, a,
00:27:04
Speaker
a podcast right now recording that is that's real, but there's essentially, and there's a way to look at it that it's like, okay, there's three different podcasts happening.
00:27:12
Speaker
And it's like, there's three different experiences happening in my worldview.
00:27:17
Speaker
Reality is subjective.
00:27:18
Speaker
So when somebody is being like, you gotta, you gotta be more careful.
00:27:21
Speaker
You got this world's going to take advantage of you.
00:27:23
Speaker
That's not the world I live in.
00:27:26
Speaker
It's like, and I, you're, you're able to kind of, you know, create your own adventure and like direct direct your own reality.
00:27:33
Speaker
There's not to say like, there's, and this is not, not to suggest that people just, there's some people that like, don't, I don't watch the news.
00:27:41
Speaker
I don't do all this stuff.
00:27:43
Speaker
Just because you don't watch the news does not mean that stuff is not happening.
00:27:45
Speaker
It's just not in your, it's just not in your field.
00:27:48
Speaker
That's a choice and that's fine.
00:27:49
Speaker
But on a personal level,
00:27:53
Speaker
Really making that choice to view the world as, you know, the world would rather hug you than harm you, is what a smart person I know says.
00:28:01
Speaker
And so I subscribe to that and it gets validated on a regular basis.
00:28:11
Speaker
It's all perspective.
00:28:13
Speaker
So when we were preparing for this podcast, this topic, we were like, well, what's the actual definition of kindness?
00:28:21
Speaker
And in the dictionary, it says the quality or state of being friendly, generous, gentle, and considerate.
00:28:29
Speaker
And I love that because, you know, the three of us here are burners.
00:28:34
Speaker
We've gone to Burning Man many, many years.
00:28:36
Speaker
And one of the big principles is gifting.
00:28:38
Speaker
And so we were talking about, you know, is kindness and gifting the same thing?
00:28:42
Speaker
It's a part of it, you know, to be able to give generously from our hearts, whether that is a physical item.
00:28:49
Speaker
or a hug or a smile, right?
00:28:51
Speaker
The state of being generous.
00:28:53
Speaker
So sharing our energy, sharing our love, sharing our essence with the world is such a beautiful way to offer kindness.
00:29:04
Speaker
And Burning Man is really taught that, that principle, okay, bring something that you have to share.
00:29:10
Speaker
And so, yeah, I think that that's a really beautiful way to start practicing kindness as well.
00:29:16
Speaker
If we're not used to being kind, think about it from that perspective.
00:29:20
Speaker
What can I give today?
00:29:22
Speaker
How can I give something of my heart, of my joy to the world today?
00:29:28
Speaker
Yeah, I think that gifting can be kind of a training wheels to kindness and gifting can be a journey of depth as well.
00:29:37
Speaker
You know, I think when people first go to Burning Man, you often gift some items, a jewelry or a bracelet, and then you start to recognize that, oh, I can gift my talents.
00:29:49
Speaker
And then you start to realize that gifting is really a worldview of looking for the cracks in the world that you can fill.
00:29:58
Speaker
What do I have that can fill this need in a person's life, in their moment?
00:30:02
Speaker
How can I make a day, a moment experience better for others?
00:30:07
Speaker
And I think that at that level,
00:30:11
Speaker
I really find gifting and kindness to be very much overlapped, you know, and I like to live in a place of my head on a swivel, looking for opportunities for gifting.
00:30:21
Speaker
And in doing so, you just...
00:30:24
Speaker
You end up being a kind person.
00:30:28
Speaker
There's a conversation I recently had with somebody, a friend in our community who was just feeling like it was, it was made apparent to him that he's a, he's a bit of a jerk because he's heard it from enough people that it must, that it must be true.
00:30:45
Speaker
And so he was in the midst of, you know, processing that.
00:30:51
Speaker
And part of what I kind of shared with him for me that, you know, the saying.
00:30:59
Speaker
And I think this is from a from a poet, I think it might be roomy, but but the idea was that everything you say to somebody should pass through three gates.
00:31:11
Speaker
The first gate is, is it true?
00:31:14
Speaker
The second gate is, is it kind?
00:31:16
Speaker
The third gate is, is it necessary?
00:31:19
Speaker
So is what I'm about to say true, kind, and necessary?
00:31:25
Speaker
And if yes, then by all means, let it fly.
00:31:27
Speaker
And if you are finding that it cannot pass through one of those gates,
00:31:32
Speaker
zip it or say it in a different way or something along those lines.
00:31:39
Speaker
And applying that, implying that to my own life has saved me and other people a lot of grief.
Unexpected Returns of Kindness
00:31:45
Speaker
Um, and it's, it's something that I forget sometimes.
00:31:48
Speaker
Um, but I try to try to, I try to bring it home to that.
00:31:52
Speaker
So whenever I'm having a discussion with my partners or just anyone, um,
00:31:56
Speaker
using that using that like you know mo for conversation is like okay that that has helped me a lot so that's that's been a good one for me thank you so much for that i'm going to repeat that is it true is it kind is it necessary yeah yeah kind of it goes along goes alongside the uh the saying that a wise man once said nothing
00:32:24
Speaker
That's mindfulness right there.
00:32:28
Speaker
And just applying that mindfulness to, to all sorts of interactions in life, you know, with your, your children, your friends, your parents, your family, strangers,
00:32:38
Speaker
Just, just, just coming from, just coming from a place of, you know, just that unconditional love for everybody.
00:32:44
Speaker
You don't necessarily have to just fawn over like random people, but just, you know, be, be kind, smile.
00:32:50
Speaker
If nothing else, just, you know, just a smile towards somebody you're walking by in the street.
00:32:54
Speaker
They don't have to like connect, you know, deeply eye contact with every single person, but yeah, you can, you can just, just being mindful of how you, how you show up in the world.
00:33:07
Speaker
It's just it just feels better at the end of the day.
00:33:10
Speaker
You know, I think that this is this big spark that's really happening for me is just really checking in every day.
00:33:19
Speaker
How can I look for kindness today?
00:33:21
Speaker
How can I continue to share this joy that I feel in my heart with others?
00:33:27
Speaker
And so I feel like maybe we're getting close to a point where we can share our closing sparks.
00:33:33
Speaker
Hopefully you all out there feeling sparked to be kind.
00:33:36
Speaker
But I know for me, I'm feeling super sparked in this conversation and grateful for the kindness that has been in the three of our dynamic and the community out here at large.
00:33:47
Speaker
And so, yeah, how can I be kind is the question that I want to start my days with.
00:33:52
Speaker
How about you guys?
00:33:54
Speaker
You guys got any closing remarks?
00:33:56
Speaker
I want to share a tool that I use to keep my heart open to being kind, which is the idea of optimism tax.
00:34:06
Speaker
That sometimes you might be feeling good and you're kind to someone or you trust someone and then you get burned or someone betrays you or someone lies to you.
00:34:19
Speaker
or you get your heart broken and the instinct can be, I'm not gonna do that anymore.
00:34:23
Speaker
I'm gonna protect myself.
00:34:24
Speaker
I'm not gonna let that person at the gas station scam me.
00:34:27
Speaker
I'm not gonna, I'm not, not, not, not.
00:34:29
Speaker
And, and that is a way to protect yourself from ever that happening again.
00:34:35
Speaker
But the cost is so huge of what you miss.
00:34:39
Speaker
So what I suggest is when I get hurt like that, I go, ah, I just paid the optimism tax.
00:34:48
Speaker
And then I keep going.
00:34:49
Speaker
I keep my heart open.
00:34:50
Speaker
And what do I get in exchange for that
Conclusion: Self-Kindness as a Foundation
00:34:53
Speaker
I get to live in a world filled with awesome people, kind people, and I get to just be open to connection.
00:34:59
Speaker
And that is priceless.
00:35:02
Speaker
And so when next time you feel yourself closing up, go, wait, did I just get to pay an optimum tax?
00:35:11
Speaker
That's, that's, that's, that's a good one.
00:35:14
Speaker
And for me, it just super, super quick anecdote.
00:35:18
Speaker
And that, you know, this, you know, going with the gas station thing, I, a guy hit me up at a gas station saying he was, he was hungry.
00:35:25
Speaker
Could I spare him some change?
00:35:26
Speaker
I'm like, well, if you're hungry, I'll get you something to eat.
00:35:29
Speaker
And so come on in.
00:35:32
Speaker
So he came in and he's like, well, yeah, I'm like, yeah, get anything you want.
00:35:35
Speaker
He's like, well, and he got like ramen, but like this kind you had to cook.
00:35:38
Speaker
I'm like, well, you're going to have to cook that.
00:35:40
Speaker
He's like, I'll work it out.
00:35:41
Speaker
And I'm like, get like a sandwich or something.
00:35:43
Speaker
He's like, oh, okay.
00:35:44
Speaker
And he ended up getting $10 worth of food.
00:35:46
Speaker
And there was part of me that was like, I'm just giving this guy like $10 worth of food.
00:35:51
Speaker
I'm like, all right.
00:35:53
Speaker
As I'm doing this, as I'm bringing it up and everything else, for whatever reason, like those lotto tickets that sit underneath the counter, like one of them was just like blinging at me with like neon like flashing lights.
00:36:04
Speaker
I'm like, and one lotto ticket.
00:36:09
Speaker
That being in a gas station that I never would have been in had I not taken the time to like help this person out.
00:36:14
Speaker
And I actually ended up making money on the deal.
00:36:16
Speaker
So because that's the kind of world I live in.
00:36:19
Speaker
um because it's like you know it's there's you don't lose anything by that you gain from being kind it is it is like forgiveness is that something you do for somebody it's like a gift that you give to yourself kindness is the same thing being kind in the world is a gift you give to yourself that's yeah so it's it's such a such a better way to like operate in the world so yeah give yourself the gift people
00:36:45
Speaker
Yes, thank you so much for that.
00:36:47
Speaker
And, you know, I'll just also echo that the most important thing that we can do is to be kind to ourselves.
00:36:56
Speaker
We didn't really touch too much on that on this episode, but, you know, it is really such an important thing to be kind with ourselves, the way that we speak to ourselves, the way that we care for ourselves, the way that we tend to our lives.
00:37:10
Speaker
when we can be kind to ourselves, then we are able to experience the world in a much kinder way, right?
00:37:17
Speaker
The inner and the outer.
00:37:19
Speaker
And it's a practice.
00:37:21
Speaker
It's, you know, there's conditioning that we all get to work through around how can I be kind to myself today, right?
00:37:27
Speaker
What we are for ourselves and we start to see in the world.
00:37:31
Speaker
And so I feel like it does really start within being kind to ourselves.
Engagement and Affirmation on Kindness
00:37:36
Speaker
Yeah, I would like to get into that on a future date because we didn't touch too much on that.
00:37:40
Speaker
That's a future episode.
00:37:42
Speaker
That's a future episode.
00:37:42
Speaker
Yeah, let's get into the power of self-talk, positive self-talk or something like that.
00:37:47
Speaker
Well, as we close up here, I want to share how you can find me in the world, especially for my morning Love Ambassador or Love Morning broadcast, which are every day at 9 a.m.
00:38:01
Speaker
youtube and facebook and it's really a practice in getting into a headspace of kindness and we do with a group of people we know recognizing that you know it's easier i think when you know you're not alone and we share gratitude we align ourselves in the direction of kindness and
00:38:19
Speaker
generosity and presence and authenticity.
00:38:21
Speaker
And, and I would love to have you join us.
00:38:24
Speaker
The links to all of that stuff is through my homepage site at johnstyn.com.
00:38:30
Speaker
J-O-H-N-S-T-Y-N.com.
00:38:36
Speaker
I am also a love ambassador.
00:38:37
Speaker
I've been initiated by Healthian.
00:38:40
Speaker
Thank you so much.
00:38:41
Speaker
And my passion and work in the world is also about cultivating self-kindness, self-love, using affirmations as part of that.
00:38:51
Speaker
So poweraffirmation.com is my website.
00:38:53
Speaker
You guys can find a lot of fun stuff on there, affirmations through audio.
00:38:58
Speaker
You can hear some of my guided meditations.
00:39:02
Speaker
I also work with people one-on-one and cultivating practices that can
00:39:06
Speaker
really build life skills for sustainable happiness with meditation and movement and breath and acts of kindness.
00:39:16
Speaker
And so, yeah, please do find me on there.
00:39:18
Speaker
And then I also do one-on-one in-person sessions through body work, energy work, healing work, and also personalized life reset retreats.
00:39:28
Speaker
And so that is a really wonderful way to just kind of snap out of the challenges that life brings and really come back to that place of love that we truly are.
00:39:39
Speaker
So yeah, please check out the show notes.
00:39:42
Speaker
Also, you can find a free gift in there as well as a 10% off in my shop.
00:39:53
Speaker
Uh, as I mentioned before, I've got a nutritional supplement company called new world nutritionals that's spelled N U world nutritionals.
00:40:01
Speaker
And we have a bunch of, uh, we have a few mushroom based supplements, uh, that are designed to help, um,
00:40:10
Speaker
Alleviate and improve symptoms of depression, anxiety, ADHD, even PTSD, anything that's going on with your brain.
00:40:19
Speaker
These products are designed to help you kind of overcome any challenges you might have.
00:40:24
Speaker
And as we talked about today, also can definitely help improve your worldview, so to speak.
00:40:30
Speaker
Um, and then, which is powerful because, you know, when you change the way you look at things, the things you look at will change.
00:40:37
Speaker
So this is a good way to go about that.
00:40:39
Speaker
You can find us online at new world nutritionals.com.
00:40:42
Speaker
You can use the code spark for 10% off of all of our products.
00:40:49
Speaker
Supplements for inner kindness.
Closing Song on Kindness and Love
00:40:52
Speaker
I, uh, I just finished a bottle, so I'm going to reach out to you offline.
00:40:55
Speaker
Um, that's you, would you close us out with an affirmation?
00:41:01
Speaker
Mmm, yes, absolutely.
00:41:05
Speaker
So for those of you out there listening, if you'd like to join in this affirmation, you can close your eyes if you're not driving, of course.
00:41:12
Speaker
Take a deep breath and repeat these words and let it fuel your mindset today.
00:41:20
Speaker
I allow kindness to guide my actions.
00:41:23
Speaker
I allow kindness to guide my actions.
00:41:28
Speaker
I allow kindness to guide my actions.
00:41:32
Speaker
the kinder I am to myself, the more kindness I see in the world.
00:41:38
Speaker
The more kind I am to myself, the more kindness I see in the world.
00:41:42
Speaker
The more kind I am to myself, the more kindness I see in the world.
00:41:48
Speaker
The more kind I am to myself, the more kindness I see in the world.
00:41:55
Speaker
Thank you so much for listening out there.
00:41:57
Speaker
Thank you for the kindness that you are spreading in the world.
00:42:00
Speaker
It is truly sparking more light, more joy, more goodness in the world.
00:42:05
Speaker
We're making the world a better place.
00:42:07
Speaker
Every smile, every moment that we have an opportunity to give our gifts.
00:42:11
Speaker
So thank you all for listening.
00:42:14
Speaker
We are always open to receive your reviews.
00:42:17
Speaker
We're always open to receive requests for topics as well.
00:42:21
Speaker
So thank you guys for reaching out.
00:42:24
Speaker
honor to get to have this conversation with you guys.
00:42:27
Speaker
Stay sparked people and enjoy this special closing soundtrack by Mamuse.
00:42:32
Speaker
Ooh, I believe in the power of kindness.
00:42:38
Speaker
Ooh, I believe in the power of love.
00:42:43
Speaker
Ooh, I believe in the power of kindness.
00:42:49
Speaker
Ooh, I believe in the power of love.
00:42:55
Speaker
We don't know what's coming, but we can help shape what's ahead.
00:43:00
Speaker
Kindness as our currency, the commonwealth is in our hands.
00:43:05
Speaker
So give a little, give a little all, give a lot, don't stop.
00:43:11
Speaker
A helping hand makes the world go round, there's more than enough.
00:43:17
Speaker
Ooh, I believe in the power of kindness.
00:43:24
Speaker
I believe in the power of love.
00:43:26
Speaker
The power of love.
00:43:27
Speaker
Ooh, I believe in the power of kindness.
00:43:35
Speaker
Ooh, I believe in the power of love.
00:43:40
Speaker
Look up now, people, but keep your ear to the ground.
00:43:45
Speaker
We are the river flowing.
00:43:48
Speaker
Generosity abounds.
00:43:50
Speaker
So give a little love.
00:43:53
Speaker
Give a little all, give a lot, don't stop.
00:43:57
Speaker
A helping hand makes the world go round.
00:43:59
Speaker
There's more than enough.
00:44:02
Speaker
Ooh, I believe in the power of kindness.
00:44:08
Speaker
Ooh, I believe in the power of love.
00:44:14
Speaker
Ooh, I believe in the power of kindness.
00:44:25
Speaker
Honey bees serve sweetness only to help the world bloom.
00:44:31
Speaker
Bringing love to the flower from the flower to the fruit.
00:44:33
Speaker
We could learn a thing or two.
00:44:36
Speaker
So give a little, give a little all.
00:44:40
Speaker
Give a lot, don't stop.
00:44:42
Speaker
A helping hand makes the world go round as much.
00:44:55
Speaker
I believe in the power of love, power of love.
00:44:59
Speaker
Ooh, I believe in the power of kindness, kindness.
00:45:05
Speaker
Ooh, I believe in the power of love.
00:45:11
Speaker
We don't know what's coming.
00:45:13
Speaker
We can't help shape what's ahead.
00:45:17
Speaker
Kindness as our currency, the commonwealth is in our hands.
00:45:22
Speaker
So give a little, give a little all.
00:45:26
Speaker
Give a lot, don't stop.
00:45:28
Speaker
A helping hand makes the world go round.
00:45:31
Speaker
There's more than enough.
00:45:34
Speaker
Ooh, then follow, follow, follow, follow.
00:45:47
Speaker
No generosity It's free, it's free, it's free To give and to keep my body