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Christmas Special 2024 - Ep. 4 Holly Jolly Hijinks
19 Plays8 days ago
In our final episode of 2024 we follow our heroic Kobolds into the final battle to save Christmas!
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Follow us on our Twitters - @FellowshipTable
Intro written and produced by Joseph McDade
Music kindly provided by Fesliyan Studios
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Transcript
Introduction to the Festive D&D Adventure
00:00:00
Speaker
Last episode of 2024, for instance. Ooooh! Motherfucker! I know you! i
00:00:39
Speaker
Hello everyone and welcome to this week's episode of The Fellowship of the Tabletop.
Character Introductions
00:00:42
Speaker
We are a live play 5e 2024 D and&D podcast set in the Christmassy world of Gumpilton. Joining you for this week's Midwinter Madness, we have...
00:00:54
Speaker
Ian who plays the wizard meta Ian Christmas ends with Cosplay Drago, Ho Ho Hornswoggle, Stoneman Cobalt and Putin Wizard and many more. Ian! He said it all folks. We've got Willy who plays the vengeance paladin Kripp Stingle. Oh dang show I'm the chief. We've got Callum who plays the Necro Wizard Krinkle Tinkseld. Hello. Poobah who plays the bard ranger fighter Shneave Lee.
00:01:18
Speaker
merry christmas y game he play fuck as he plays and but dany ah this is the act free finale my name is mark and i am playing the monk hall oh shit what hogs hog nosh gobble grabbber and by laugh with the name is lisa abmin of the madhouse a substitute teacher preacher dungeon master darren Happy c Crimbo Limbo Wall! we find ourselves deep in the world of
00:01:43
Speaker
Merry Christmas, y'all!
Chaotic Encounters with Kobolds
00:01:51
Speaker
a a tan And Crips went to investigate this and put it out, find food, smash through the window, stole food, strangled a cobalt to death, ripped the food out of that cobalt's mouth and smote it all in one in a onesie. Meanwhile the rest of the group managed to traverse up the Christmas tree, grab it, kill the skunk, kill some cobolds, throw the star down and smash the the the yeah the star with the help of a few of the kobolds. Meanwhile, once the kobolds were silent, stood staring at Irish Ian as he stood there holding the star aloft. No, Emmett Ian holding the star above. Crips ran up and cleaved the shit out of two of them, cutting them in half then ran back inside after mentioning food about puddings, I think. And then ran back inside the table them to find more food.
00:02:36
Speaker
ah There's a moment of silence when Irish Ian throws, the Colin Farrell throws the star down to the ground, smashing it. And just as they they were all chanting about, us saying the word that begins with A, end with A, A, A, A, A, and none of us could really work it out, suddenly this hulking behemoth of a robot neck force comes around the corner and it is...
Madam Grinch: The Antagonist Appears
00:02:56
Speaker
Madam Grinch, and she says, I am the Alpha. Cobolds obey me. I am the Alpha. Now we realize the A word was Alpha. and and that And I think we all looked and said, fuck. I think that's kind of pretty much what we got up to. see
00:03:09
Speaker
Yeah, and as that happens, the kobolds rally, they turn and look at you, and they're confused as to what to do. And before anything can happen, everything turns to serene white. The sound of sleigh bells. The sound of Christmas. Fuck! I cast Unseen Servant.
00:03:39
Speaker
ah The spell creates an invisible, mindless, shapeless medium force that performs simple tasks at your command. Until the spell ends, the servant springs into existence in an unoccupied space on the ground within rage. Has an AC at 10. One hit point.
00:03:55
Speaker
and his strength are two, but it can't attack. This is more, this is better use of wizard spell slots than normal Ian would be using
Battle with Madam Grinch Begins
00:04:02
Speaker
spell slots. You're actually using them, so, you know. And what happens is, interestingly, what metaverse Ian sees, is it sees an unseen servant who helps it have the best Christmas ever. Fuck!
00:04:19
Speaker
okay it It seems to prep the foods in the air fryer from a Christmas unseen servant. and ri so the flow i know Variations of this happen for all of you. You all have this very pristine lovely vision of a really nice Christmas. You have a lovely festive time over the festive period.
00:04:50
Speaker
And as that happens, you will feel refreshed by this lovely time. You've all had a long rest. Thank fucking God. Jelling us up for a big fight. Obviously. And as you come back... Can't wait to spaff my spells. You might be slimed by the long rest. You might be slimed by the long rest. As you come back into the town square of Gumpleton,
00:05:14
Speaker
Something of a wild west standoff is now approaching you. All the existence of Guntherton are gone. You can see some of them nervously looking out of doors and windows looking at you. The great festive tree has been replaced by what is a a makeshift timer. It appears to be counting down. And you realise that you've gone forward a week. It is now New Year's Eve. And this long rest, this seven day long rest, seems to us to have transplanted you all through time. The ravenous cobolds that were there are gone, save for two of them who appear to stand steadfastly at the side of Madam Grinch.
00:05:50
Speaker
And as this showdown ah appears to about to be about to kick off, you notice something. It's almost like you can hear the sound of sleigh bells on the wing um on the wind and it says,
00:06:03
Speaker
A final gift from me, Kobolds.
Strategies Against Madam Grinch
00:06:05
Speaker
I always knew you had it in you to save Christmas. Fuck! Oh, Santa's board presents. It's like in Land of the Witch and the Portrait. Santa's board presents. Oh, it's such a Christmas miracle, everyone. You've got to It's wrong. Oh, what? I missed that one. Turkish delight. Oh, I can't help it. It all is. It's not really food. It's so pretty. What happens is is that the the as so of the whispers fade, you are reminded by Santo, the final message. It was here two years ago. Hans Ugo was felled. Your turn to save the festive season them now. I've been here 365 days. I've been waiting for you all to turn up. My name is Big Willy. Oh, thanks, man. It's all right. We got this one.
00:07:05
Speaker
Me and Nudes, we're going to destroy this bitch. Santa's having some care, I've sent Nudes. I just want Nudes to jump out of the flame and drop. Madam Grinch is still there. He's like, what happened? Where are my cobolds?
00:07:26
Speaker
Save me, save me, you will not take this from me, you will not take this world from me. And as that happens, what Madam Grinch is going to do is the armour is just going to to whirl and seem to come to life and charge with energy. I need you all to be honest. Doo doo doo doo doo doo. Oh, for fuck's sake.
00:07:51
Speaker
See you on the other side. Sure.
00:07:57
Speaker
yeah I'm OK. OK. 20 plus. I got 20. OK, depth modifier. She's going first. ah Plus 2. Roll with these 20.
00:08:11
Speaker
I've got new rules, technically you decide. Yeah, you decide. Not one. That's decided. That's not as high as that. gate You don't have a roll-off of ties anymore. Or you decided to do have a roll-off. There you go, exactly.
00:08:23
Speaker
mr yeah It's very progressive. Okay, 15 to 20. 15. 15. Dex modifies. No fucking clue. I know, one. I want that one.
00:08:38
Speaker
I want a snack. I'll call it Thumpa. 10-15. Ok, thank you.
00:08:54
Speaker
5-10. I got a 9. Oh, Will. Oh, Will. Three? Only three for me. And then, free for... Crips Dingle. Ah yeah, he made that a long rest, but he's still got a full stomach of fudge. Top of the round then, Fanno Grinch's arm is going to just ah hum and whistle and almost sound like it's charging up. And what's going to happen is, is that it's going to emit its laser-stumb into a 60-foot cone, which is just going to shoot out towards you all. And if everyone has made a constitution saving phrase... It's supposed to be a really quick fight. to be
00:09:37
Speaker
God damn. This is going to be a good fight. Okay. Let's go with Ian. 15. Okay. Yep. That's your fucking 20. 20. Yeah. Can I have you please crinkle? 12. Okay. Can I have you please? 6. Okay. Thank you. Hob. Hobbie bobby.
00:10:05
Speaker
Oh, sorry, me. I thought Nosh got six. Okay. Can I have you find me, Feek? Nine. thank Okay. ah Ian, Crinkle and Quitz, you will pass the save and are absolutely fine. Vleek, Hobnosh and Snitzi, you will fail and are stunned for a turn.
00:10:25
Speaker
It was only a turn. It was at least out this car. Stunning tarat towards you all. That is the end of Madame Grinch's turn as she moves forward towards you all and engages you all in combat. ah That turned up. ah Ian, you're up. because You were not stunned. Okay, so it's meta Ian. ye I would like to perceive this bitch and she's made of all metal.
00:10:53
Speaker
yep she'd married well Well, from what you can tell, yeah yeah, this is completely metal. Okay. Does it look like she's powered by some electrical source? No, probably cranberry source. Hey, make a freak. Make a freak. She's close enough for it to be an investigation. Investigation will always be more useful than perception.
00:11:13
Speaker
cay me That's a 10. 10? It's hard to tell because you can't see inside the armour. All you can see is that the armour appears to be moving and something appears to be charging it. Okey-dokey, and how far away she is she from me? Directly engaged with you now. Like up front? Yeah. for day um Okay, well, um I'll just look at her and go, I used the most powerful spell I have, thanks, and it's going to be Shatter, so fuck your full fuck on you!
00:11:40
Speaker
ah thunder damage um three d is it shows it inorganic does that' divide yeah you might go a bonus because she's in like a non you no got no no got cluing bar you might be in the bounding kitchen and get a bonus it she's not like as makes you good so maybe it's i a construct has disadvantage on the say multiple um A loud noise erupts from one point of your choice. ah Ian's reading this as he's just flicking through the player manual. Each creature in a ten-foot sphere centered makes a con saving throw, taking 3d8 thunder damage on a failed save or half as much on a successful one. A construct has disadvantage on the save. A non-magical object that isn't being worn or carried also takes the damage if it's in the spells area. Just stop talking and bucking it too. but What you doing? What type of damage?
00:12:29
Speaker
thunder what's the save thunder dc con 12 con 12 it rolls a 13 you almost went or uh so it's going to be half damage uh so it's a 19 so nine ah okay thank you yeah nice nice still good does it look like that thunder damage does Yes, yes, I was surprised by that. I thought it might have some sort of resistance to it, but it does not. So yes, it does take the damage. So everyone, Thunder damage seems to do direct hits. I'd recommend going with Thunder. If only we had magical weapons. As you say that, you realise that Schnitzy, who would be next up, is actually stunned. So it doesn't seem to process that.
00:13:10
Speaker
I can't help you there. Anything else on your turn? That's it. Crinkle is not stunned, however. It's your turn, Crinkle. No, I'm going to see this Madame Grinch descending down. I'm going to turn to Cripps, who is near me. I'm going to reach into my pocket and pull out a really kind of mouldy, hard
Revelation of the Halfling Controller
00:13:35
Speaker
stale bit of piece of fudge I've seen what you can do with these. I'm just going to jam it down his throat.
00:13:47
Speaker
Just for sake of actual game thing, I'm giving you dragon's breath. so um I like the image of it being projectile vomiting as well. what's So I'm going to have it as acid tapping.
00:14:04
Speaker
yeah With your projectile vomiting and fudge.
00:14:11
Speaker
like Okay. And that's an action to... That's a bonus action for me to cast. to An action I can start spewing. Yeah, so take your choice if it gets too much. um ah Yeah, just for me, um you use my normal action, we're going to hurl a fireball so I can go... Burn! Okay, yeah, roll to hit.
00:14:35
Speaker
13 misses. Hits the armadon, but doesn't seem to do any damage. I did say thunder. Damage.
00:14:45
Speaker
That looked like fire. and Okay, at Hobnosh, you are stunned, so you don't have a turn. At Fleet, you are also stunned, so you don't have a turn. It is the two Cobalt's turn. ah The free action, what Malanbrinch is going to do is go, heal me, heal me, and these two Cobalt's are going to run forwards, and they're both just going to lay a palm on it, and they're both going to do some way on hands. It appears the DM wants us to kill the ads.
00:15:14
Speaker
and And then what the Kobolds are going to do, that's their bonus action, is they're going to multi-attack. Firstly, the one who appears to be metering, because they find that quite dangerous. So one of them is going to try and pick you. It makes me interested in wearing the armour either. so It's got no plot on it.
00:15:34
Speaker
He does have mage armor, though. Metairie has no mage armor. It does exist. You roll a 16 to hit. yo Yeah, oh yeah. Okay, it's spear, so you take eight points. Oh, I've pierced a dash. Sorry, I rolled max damage. Don't say sorry, you're okay. It's his second sling. Heal me, heal me. His second sling is iron only have a seven to hit.
00:15:56
Speaker
No, that that misses. Okay, the other one is going to run towards, it's going to go for what it perceives to be. I can perceive you.
00:16:09
Speaker
Yeah, it doesn't it doesn't it's not sure what you've just done But it perceives you to be a threat because again you've thrown damage at it So I'm going to try and stab you the other one gonna roll a nine to hit first off No Zenga the wrong turd a five to hit no turn hit me Yeah, it tries to stab you and just misses both times. That's the end of the cobalt turn Crips you are not stunned. It's your turn No, so, and initially, on the production of Fudge, Cripps started to drop his axe and grab his groin, but the Fudge was thrust into his mouth immediately, so he stops himself, lets go of his groin, catches the great axe.
00:16:46
Speaker
and goes, oh, thanks for that. I'm going to go for the big one. And it's going to charge in towards Big Mama in yeah the mech suit. um And as part of my attack action, I can do my vow of and the enmity again and try to get an attack on it with advantage. ah That's lucky it's an advantage because that's a nerdy one.
00:17:09
Speaker
17 plus 5? 22. Hit to hit. Awesome. Nice. Which will be, with a bonus action, thunderous smite! 14 points of slashing damage initially, but obviously pumping a thunderous smite into that bitch as well. I am going to need a strength save, please. Strength save? Yeah. It's going to take some damage. That's one good at least.
00:17:34
Speaker
It's not going to help it though, it's rather 13. It's still better than my DC. Yeah, so it takes seven extra points of thunder damage, but is not pushed back and then prone. Okay, so 20 points of damage total. Nice. Yeah, yeah, that's action, bonus action, charging in.
00:17:54
Speaker
ah Okay. Nice. Terrific. Brilliant. At top of the round, it's Madam Grinch's turn. It's firstly going to roll a d6 to see if it gets its stun vision back. Rather, four, so it does not. It's going to make two long-saw attacks, both against euchryps, as you've just done the damage to it. beone It rolls firstly a 30-20 to hit. Yeah, that hurt. Okay. Terrific. It's going to roll.
00:18:26
Speaker
uh 13 points of slashing damage on the first one okay i could take that yeah second swing is not so good it is a da 14 to hit. So the second one misses then. and That is the end of Madam Grinch's turn. Again, Madam Grinch is just going to completely worry that that is just going to keep saying, heal me, heal me. And the two Kobolds, you decide that are going to react. Schnitz, you're no longer dazed. It's your turn.
00:18:59
Speaker
um Are they in a position where I can use Thunderwave and not hit my friends? ah Yeah, you can get into a position to do that. I will do that then, please. I will move around this without and yeah
Final Battle and Victory
00:19:14
Speaker
getting attacked by Punty and cast Thunderwave. In order to try and knock the two kobolds away, kill them and or hurt the big bitch. yeah So can ah they, three of them, please make a consenting throne? Okay, I'll do Madeline Grinch first. Okay, that's a 15 for Madeline Grinch. Yeah, she passes. Okay, for the kobolds who are not as good at consenting, the first one's rather 16. Yeah, passes.
00:19:38
Speaker
And the second one rolled a six. That one fails, that one takes full damage. So the full damage one, it takes 21 points of damage. Okay, yep. And it's flung 10 feet away. Okay, yep. The other two take, I think it's, I think Madame Grige takes 10, and the other one takes 10 points of thunder damage. Okay, yep, yep. And yeah. That's the end of my gold.
00:20:07
Speaker
Okay, thank you. And 10 points damage to that one. nice to go with coort Okay, thank you. That's the end of Snitzi's turn. but So you've now maneuvered yourself into a position where you can attack them both. So you probably had to move yourself behind. if i Oh, and I've Hunter Marked Manage. Okay, brilliant. Terrific. and No, I can't. It's a spell. Okay, you can't do that. Sorry, I thought it was a feature, but not. It's a spell. Crinkle, thank you for your honesty. Crinkle, it's your turn.
00:20:35
Speaker
I'm going to listen to Meta Ian. Thunder. Again, I'm going to listen to Meta Ian. Thunder. Is it your go? Where's my go? Fuck you.
00:20:47
Speaker
Shit, sorry, yeah, it's Metairine's turn. so ah top that's what me issue have been i so sorry yeah god I put a hand up to your face and go, it's actually my turn now. I'm glad we have Metairine. So I apologize for that. life i could just And as I take my hand away from your face.
00:21:06
Speaker
I'll send to one hand on top of the other, close my eyes and this chromatic orb starts to form in between my two hands and I send it to Heiduken it towards one of the coal bolts. Okay, yeah, so you've got the one that's been flung away and the one that still stood near Madame Grinch. I'll go for the one that's been flung away because he's been hit before. yeah um i'm gonna So I can choose what sort of damage ah if it hits. What's really cool is if I roll this dice and two of the damage dice are the same, that orb now moves to a different yeah location creature. inbas yeah So let's go for Thunder damage. It sounds like a theme.
00:21:48
Speaker
da did you know the the ah That's an eight. Eight to hit. Yeah. Uh, missus. Yeah. After all that you missed. Well, that's the game. yeah but matter yeah i see fromway that well that's and that Anything else in your turn? Nope. Okay. Brilliant. Krinkle flower over to you.
00:22:18
Speaker
yeah Okay, so that's how it happens. I'm just going to do exactly what Meta Ian did. I'm casting Chromatic Orb. Yeah! Shader and Drag all over again. Yeah, yeah i'll I'll do it the same cobalt. I'll do minus Thunder damage, as Meta Ian has told me. um and now Glad to see where it goes. 21 to hit. That's my boy. Yeah, that hits.
00:22:46
Speaker
Math. but How many d8s? I'm doing it at second level, so it's eight. and Sorry, four d8s. Do any of those match? Yes, here's. Bounce. No, no, not of them match, unfortunately. 21 points of Thunder damage. It's still upright, but it's not looking particularly healthy. Really? That thing's shaking like 40. Did any of those dice roll the same? No. I can tell you it's taken 42 hit points. Had it taken 44 hit points, it would be dead. It'd have to be nice, so... Curse is... Got some chunky cool ball. Yep.
00:23:16
Speaker
and is the code it is if yeah it's if this it's a boss fight right it For those listening, there's these are cobalt dragon shields, so they are particularly special. And they've got 44 points of hit. but guys look up meterine i could he look at Let me just look through this player's handbook. Where did that come from? fa okay right it's there It's not their town at all, it's Hobnosh. Are any of them neatly in a line? i want to talk You could get into position to hit both the one cobalt that's still there and Madam Grinch. The other one has been flung. I'm going to run up to the cobalt. You can look at the eye. Up, probably high. Look at Madam Grinch behind it. And I'm going to cast Breath of the Dragon at it. So the only thing to make dexterity saving throws is a DC of 12. This is a Way of the Ascended Dragon feature. Madam Grinch, sorry, carry on.
00:24:14
Speaker
It's just if they pass. 16 for Madam Grinch. Passes. Four. Okay, the card will take six points of fire damage. yeah Madam Grinch takes three. And then Is the cobalt still up? It's not on fire. but this cobolt's badly been hit yeah Oh right, i so like cool. Then I'm going to use a bonus action and Furry of Blows it and do two more nuts against it. So the first one is going to go in for a 12. The second one is going to go in for a 12. Cool, and then he's going to...
00:24:51
Speaker
That's it. That's it. Okay, cool. Thank you. Thank you. Rob Losh, that's the end. The All Turned Fleek. We're coming to you. Me. And then I need to get in flanking with you or something. link Ah, yeah, that's an idea. You know, we've all got an ability that we haven't used yet. Yes, I forgot about it. Oh, I was going to use it last episode. so because he fucking my It's bonus action to kind of cry. Well, you know, funny you should say that, Will. As I finally get my yeah my mind back in place,
00:25:16
Speaker
He take a step, you know, he pass his legs, think of like that scene in Blackadder where he's like, oh, I look custom as I am. Let's do this. And I'm going to use Battlecry. Yay. Draconic Cry. Draconic Cry is a Battlecry. Yeah. You don't have how to cry at enemies within 10 streets of view until the start of your next turn. You and your allies have advantage on attack crawls against the enemies that could hear you. This is going to be used twice per long west.
00:25:43
Speaker
Yeah, but we all get it. We all get it. We've all kobolds. Yes, one by one, so there's a grovel, cow, and bag. That's what I have. You've got the old kobolds. You've got 2014 kobolds. Yeah. I'll take it. That works. That works for you, though. Yeah, it could be food. That's the problem with rolling yet. In the rules, turns, that i mean that just means we've got advantage on the attacks until the start of my next turn. It's a bonus action to do that. Yep. So I've used my bonus action. I'm going to move on to my action and I'm going to
00:26:14
Speaker
so I'm going to hit the other cobalt, the one that hasn't taken much damage yet. Yes, and one and the one near Hobnosh. Man. You rolled like dog shit. I rolled a 12. Did that, missus? Okay. They're not very monkey at the moment, are we? Yeah, they're not monkeying around. even when Those monks have lost the funk. They'll have to have my turn.
00:26:38
Speaker
but Okay, cool. Thank you. So Cobalt's turn. The one next to Madame Grinch is going to again, reach out a hand and heal Madame Grinch. Um, the, that one is then going to turn and it's going to take two swings of its weapons. It's going to take one at U Hobmosh. It's going to roll. Oh, that's not very good. It's going to roll a 13 to hit. Oh, a hit. Delightful.
00:27:08
Speaker
ah You take four points of piercing damage. Deflect attack. okay and um I roll a d10 plus four, eleven, which means more than the total score of the damage, which means if I reduce the damage to zero via deflect attacks and expend one focus point to redirect some of the attack's force, if you do, choose a creature you can see within five feet, the kobold, if it was melee, and then I can basically, it has to do a dc12 deck saving throw.
00:27:34
Speaker
But you have to deflect the damage first. I have, yeah. 11. Oh, nice. Yeah. Steppes modifier is a 6 for all the 12, sorry, by the least. Me too. It beats 7th row, or it takes 1d6 plus zero damage. Yeah, you deflect it and it doesn't take the damage. Cool, yeah.
00:27:48
Speaker
um It's slightly unnerved by that, so it's then the second attack going for Sleek. It rolls a 15 to hit. It needs a beat. This one rolls six points of fleeting damage. ah Deflect attacks. It's like Neo. just t shit Which, I don't know if you've heard this before, but if I reduce it to zero, then I'm able to deflect the attack. In this case, a curveball. Because they're both Monks, Darren. It's rather 13, I'm sorry. oh That passes as well. yeah
00:28:24
Speaker
but Just a whole lot of nothing? There's the same on my thing! Stop trying to hit me and Okay, that's that cobalt gun. The one that... I've flung backwards. s ...flung backwards is going to get up and doesn't have any ranged weapons, but it can lob its spear, so it's going to do that at the person who did the most damage to it, which I believe would have been you, Crinkle. So it's going to lob its spear at you. It's going to roll a 15 to hit.
00:28:53
Speaker
ye OK, you take ah three points of piercing damage. OK, cool. You're not concentrating on anything, are you? I am, yes, but I have toro yeah you need to Why are you concentrating on? Dragon's Breath. OK, yeah, you need to roll a con safe. But I can do so with advantage because I have a water castle. Which is good because that was a fort. And that was a Ted, which should be fine, shouldn't it?
00:29:23
Speaker
Yeah, it's to save his 10, isn't it? Yeah, yeah. This damage is higher than 10. Yeah, so you you you maintain concentration. and Okay, cool. Anything to add? all No, it's not your turn, is it? No, it's not my turn, Darren. No, Darren. I've got a bit of action. I'm going to try and hold it down for as long as I can. And he's going to go for another swing at ah Boss Lady. Yep, Mam Grinch. With advantage. First one is an 18, so that's my highest 18 to hit. Misses. oh
00:30:00
Speaker
Holy! 18 misses! I don't know if I've got much I can do with my things or if I miss. Hunter's Mark, fuck you. Hunter's Mark on the yeah on the big one, even though I've missed. Oh of course you're a vengeance. Yeah, she probably should save my spell slots for... Oh well.
00:30:26
Speaker
I need a nat 20, baby. Yeah, I'm doing fuck all. I'm just going, oh, God, it's right. I can put it up. It's coming up. It's coming up. Okay. Sorry, Crips. It's Madam Grinch's turn. Let's roll for the stun weapon. Roll the six. It gets that back, and that's all it's going to do. The only person not affected by this is schnitzi, who's managed to get around the back and out of the way. But the rest of you need to make contos, please. Okay.
00:30:52
Speaker
Finally. Okay. I didn't get nervous.
00:30:58
Speaker
17. Pass. 20. Pass for Crips. 19. Pass for Crinkle. 13. i ah ah yet Pass. Pass for Fleek. 20, let's go. Everyone passes. Okay, tries to completely waste that stun breath. You're a tall motherfucker and no one is in that circle.
00:31:21
Speaker
A human Grinch. As it tries to stun you all, it completely fails. and Madam Grinch, his turn is done. Ian. if we got the We still got meta here. Nobody said the word. Which is nice because it means that I've got time. You can use all that knowledge of D&D. I can use all my sophisticated knowledge while I go in with the Christmas theme and I...
00:31:57
Speaker
um and yeah pay so i that very so hosted by your so I mean by Wills Bataan. I would love it if you don't know if it knocks yourself out. I was just talking about how the one was saying it and we all knew what it was. Okay, so I gave myself two points of psychic damage, but I rolled the Meta Ian back, so kind of out of this Ogremoth type form, I come back as Meta Ian.
00:32:25
Speaker
and I will go with the Festus theme and at the Cobalt that's still alive that me and Calum is here. That's got two points. It's got two points. It's got two points. I'm going to cast Snell.
00:32:42
Speaker
Sniluk? Sniluk's Snowball Swarm, ah where Fury, a flurry of magic snowballs erupt from a point you choose within range. Each creature within a 5-foot radius centered at that point must make a deck saving throw of 12 and then takes 3 d6 cold damage on failed or half as much.
00:33:02
Speaker
So it's going to be fucking dead. It has passed the same. It rolled a 16. That's fine. It's still going to die. What's rounding? It takes four points. It rolls down to two, it's dead. Death by Snowball. Jesus Christ, that was close. Snowball's pulled into this cobalt and as the flurious nose dissipates, what's left on the ground is its corpse.
00:33:26
Speaker
Yippee-ki-yay. I told you I said, there's this snowman with his arms sticking out all over his desk. Anything else? Nope. ah Okay. Again, thunder damage though. Come on. not Kill the ad. Kill this guy.
00:33:44
Speaker
It is. the she It's all turned. I want to throw the vial of liquid I looted off a cobalt body onto Madame Grinch. Nice! It's okay, roll to here. Okay. Is you saying nice because it's a healing potion? yeah You get advantage as well. I do get advantage. I want to do normal of hua oh twenty five hey ah oh yeah yeah twenty five went the hits. yeah. So it's covered now in what it smacks. It's a similar sort of violet acid to you. um It's covered in this green slime and similar to you, it has a choice of waste a turn removing it or take damage at the end of each of its turns until it removes it.
00:34:28
Speaker
But does it take damage this turn as well because I did when it affected me? Did you ever thought you took damage on your turn? No, it took damage straight away. yeah for one i look me I'm only saying this because I'm here. It's 1d4, 1d4 of poison damage.
00:34:42
Speaker
ah It takes a lot of poison. Does it also have to make a thingy to be poisoned or not? No. Okay, no. Might be immune to poison. yeah and Potentially, but someone... It's not meta, James. It's meta read. I'm inferring from that that she is indeed immune to poison. She's immune to the damage. She's immune to condition. Ah, good, okay. Right. So, right. Well, hang on. Does that trigger... a is that? It's damage so you might trigger hunters Mark in offense. Trigger hunters Mark. Can everybody who's near so that's pretty much a but all of you actually because none of you have made any efforts to really remove yourself from her range can you all roll perceptions please? I can perceive you!
00:35:32
Speaker
So here's what we're gonna do.
00:35:36
Speaker
Me and my boys are gonna mess you up. I've rolled a one. I've rolled a one. Fuck! I'm just wondering that. No, I've rolled a ten. Okay, yeah, you still know. I was dying right there. Anyone roll the button 20? No. Okay, so I'm gonna bring it on myself. Yeah, so she would have been Hunter's Mark, so yeah, she takes Hunter's Mark damage. I've won...
00:35:57
Speaker
D-6. Roll it baby. Roll that dice. She will also take, oh nice, maximum six points of force damage. Nice, nice, okay. The force. Cool, right. That is the end of your turn? Yes indeed. Okay, we are over to Krinkle. Ah. Um, other Cobold, magic missile. That's what I'm talking about. Smash. Yes, and go for it. And smash again. Go for it. Oh shit.
00:36:23
Speaker
That was better. That's shit. That was awesome shit. That was six points of got that damage. Four damage from that goal. Okay, yeah. And Yeah, I ended my turn. Thank you. This is a fish in D&D thing we're having right here. Hobnotch, over to you. I'm going to hit first team with one attack, then Floria blows two attacks against the cobalt in front of me. An 18 to hit.
00:36:45
Speaker
18 to hit on the co-op. Is that with advantage? I've done it more with advantage. 18 hits. 6 points of damage. 14 to hit. 14. Misses. Misses. 21 to hit. Hits. 4 points of damage. 10 points of damage in total. Let's go. Thank you.
00:36:59
Speaker
speak speech roll that by but but man but um ba dear i love and blows your glory into this coboldt and okay that's the end of your term fleek this cobold next year has just been absolutely pummeled what do you want to do we're going to ah use an attackg to attack it and then i'm goingnna flury your blows to hit its um don't fix it i this cobold's in middle of this one so many robot hit second one is nineteen pets Speed roll! Speed roll, that's big! Blam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, b 56 and two.
00:37:34
Speaker
Were you hitting the cobalt? Nice. you not You're a short motherfucker and nobody likes you.
00:37:44
Speaker
ah 21 worth of bludgeoning damage and... Don't worry. yeah yeah As you power into the... What else were you going to do? just after the earth Basically turn one of them into a hand of harm, which adds additional necrotic damage. um Cool. As I scoop up some of that bad fudge and just... like put Yeah, irrelevant. The flurry of blows come in from the two months. This cobob, you just see his body contort and some limbs break and and something cracks and it just falls to the ground dead.
00:38:12
Speaker
as you've killed this cobalt. Tomnash gobble grabber is going to wink at Flink and then nod towards but but bri is the big ah the big bad. Yeah. And you saw a movement turn left over. I'll try and position myself around Madam Grinch in a effective manner. Can you change your damage? Okay, great. Thank you. um It would be the cobalt's turn, but they are dead. So as Madam Grinch is now being flanked, it is Kripp's turn.
00:38:38
Speaker
ah
00:38:42
Speaker
yeah But I'm going to hold it for one more time. And I'm going to swing to attack. It was a 20 on my first roll or a 24 on my second roll. Yeah, you hit. I know you're not advancing more because it's, yeah it's, it's, oh my God, teach him a fucking paladin.
00:38:58
Speaker
Anemone, a vow of anemone. Apologies. The vow of enemies. what You could give yourselves as cobalt. I was like, I better give this some armor class. yeah joke Anyway, so 13 points of slishity slashing damage. There's no one within five feet, so I can't do shit there. yeah But here comes another smite for a, it's just ah ah a usual divine smite ah for an extra 13 points of radiant. Now is yeah twenty six i hours that divine? Oh shit. And also a hunter's mark. Oh shit. More damage. Which is another three. Ouchies. So is that divine smite zero or light?
00:39:41
Speaker
yeah cu saying lucky well no because If I talk about food, then unfortunately I'm going to drop everything in go go gobble, That is the end of your time. Okay we go straight to the top of the round. Malamgrin, survival six needed, gets a six. It's going to overcharge this time. It's laser stun. So it's going to, instead of going a cone this time, it's going to go in an error of circumference and aim for you all. I need everyone to make a constitution saving throw please.
00:40:25
Speaker
Oh, shit. Mangarder crit. 22. Okay. You're fine in. 19. It's also fine. 16. You're fine. Yep.
00:40:39
Speaker
Nine. You are stunned. Thirteen. You are also stunned. Eleven. Three. And you are also stunned. Is that the exact
00:41:13
Speaker
Okay. That's the end of Madam Grinch's turn. Ian, it's your turn. I cast Grease on the floor of Madam Grinch. Need a Dex saving throw at 12. Yeah, Grease area's coming. Yeah, if you're next to it, it's 10-4. I thought I was the next to it. Everyone has to make a Dex save. This is the chaos we're here for. I want to make a Dex save.
00:41:38
Speaker
ah so Don't those of you who are stunned fail it automatically? It's either that or we roll a disadvantage maybe. Hang on. um Either way. You automatically fail, strengthen the strategy. So everyone who's stunned, you've all failed, you all go prone. Don't forget, you can also get light grease on fire now. Oh, it's going to be a barbecue. That and Grinch roll the five and it's also gone. Yeah, there we go.
00:42:06
Speaker
but So, what about the rest of you who are still upright? I'm okay. I rolled another 20, would you believe? Okay, you're fine. 19. Let's go. Crypts aside. I got four. You also go prone, crinkle. and Okay, cool. Was that the end of the your turn? That's the end of my go. Light it on fire.
00:42:23
Speaker
Okay, they're all on fire. Schnitzel is stunned, so it's over to you, Krinkle. Everyone's in the grease, I'm not going to light it on fire. Oh no, this is non-flammable grease. Oh. Oh. Yeah. Specify. But it does make it difficult to aim for the duration. I thought it was flammable. No, not this one. Maybe the rules are wrong. I think it explicitly states that it isn't. Yeah, no, non-flammable grease. That's the difference, the other one could be.
00:42:48
Speaker
I have pre-rolled, so I'm going to use what movement I've got to stand up, and I'm going to try and move away from Madame Grinch. OK, try and back it up, tackle off Juniti, unless she disengage. She's prone. She can still have a half opportunity. yeah Yeah, it'll just be a disadvantage. Wow, what a waste of my time. It's probably helped, because it was either a crit or it was an eight. Hey! Eight doesn't hit. That's a big help. Save my ass. I got you. Pre-rolled, I'm going to use Grammatic Orb again. Yeah.
00:43:18
Speaker
Level 2 spell splocked. 24 to hit. diet it's Disadvantaged, because it's prone. No, I don't need advantage. I advantage the attack is in within five feet, if you otherwise thought attack was at disadvantage, because she's prone, she gets, she can't really, it's disadvantage from a rage attack. So exactly what I just said. But again, explain. Sorry. No, you're right. i Did you roll against these guys? I will roll again.
00:43:47
Speaker
Well, wait. Oh, no! He got a one! An actual one! Sorry, I heard... Fuck Shut the fuck up once in your life!
00:43:58
Speaker
but and la la la Oh fuck you will shut your fucking mouth! Christmas! No! Suck her dick you being a twit! Christmas! Oh no!
00:44:21
Speaker
Have we lost Metairine? No, we've lost Metairine. I'm just, uh, hang on. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine. Where's the D10? Chris, we don't want to play. I will just keep playing. I cast Chromatic Orb.
00:44:40
Speaker
What? I don't know. I used characters. OK, here's the fun way of doing it. One yourself. Two is going to be Krips. What level is this? Three is going to be Krips. Second level. Four is going to be Schnitzel. Five is going to be Fleek. Six is going to be Hobnosh. Seven is going to be Madam Grinch. Roll a DA. And eight is going to be the corpses of the Cobolds.
00:45:05
Speaker
this is What was one? yeah You! You just dropped the dramatic arm! Graggy! And so I... So I can't make a fucking... It's his little sweet Graggy when he does it!
00:45:24
Speaker
Do I just, does it just hit? Yes, it does. Yeah. Is it a tap roll? Yes, a plus four. I've got to roll against myself. You've got to roll against your own half a class. I'll do fucking lightning. Why not? Yep. Yeah, that fucking hits at an 18. You can bounce though if you roll a second.
00:45:43
Speaker
like So it could bounce off you. No, it doesn't bounce, but I do get eight points of lightning damage against myself. Oh, it could have been worse, I suppose. Oh. Are you betting it? No, I'm- Which time is it? Chris Hemsworth. I've just had my turn and it's been fucked up royally. Yeah, okay. Hold on. You're stunned. We were doing so well. Yeah, then it's still going on. Coming to you. Cobolds are dead. Krips, it's your turn.
00:46:10
Speaker
And I'm dropping my grey tacks, grabbing the cake and my nuts, and I'm shoving the cake into my face if I can. Incredible. Yes, you can. ah Madam Grinch is going to get up and and is is is going to see if we can get it in reserve. It doesn't, they roll the one, so we don't need a stun attack. It's now realizing it has to start doing some damage and it's going to aim for ah It's going to aim for, on one of the monks, because they look quite dangerous. Odds, it's aiming for Hobnosh. Evens, it's aiming for Youfleet. It isn't odd, so it's aiming for Hobnosh. It's going to then, I believe, roll at advantage, because it's raised and I understand as well. 16. Oh, it's a 90, 25 to hit. Yeah, yeah, yeah, hit, hit, hit, hit, hit.
00:47:02
Speaker
Are we still technically stunned now? I know the prone will still count for advantage, but are we still stunned? At 13 points of slashing damage. Gonna go again. Same place. in the Same person. And roll 23 to hit. Hit.
00:47:17
Speaker
17 points of slashing damage. And down. oh the Okay. That's the end of Madam Grinch's turn. and with Apologies. hot gosh That's part of the game, man. won a bit So ah it's just going to start screaming at you. I am your alpha. I am your alpha. And that is the end of the yourll turn on chris Oh well then. Let's see what shrimp on the barber we can put on. Just a bunch of stereotypes. um
00:47:57
Speaker
I'm gonna cast Mindspike on that. Can she make a wisdom saving throw of 12? It's got on zero modifier. Fourteen, I'm so sorry. Motherfuckers taking half damage.
00:48:17
Speaker
Which is only going to be a five. Okay, yeah. As it takes the damage. Again, everyone make perception checks. With the exception of you. Hold on, I I've got an eighteen. Anyone over twenty? No. Okay, no one notices anything. now And it is. Anything left on your turn?
00:48:40
Speaker
yeah oh ahs all we're coming over to you schni see
00:48:47
Speaker
if
00:48:50
Speaker
I'm going to cast ah Cure Wounds on Mark's character. Because I have a healing spell. Thanks buddy. ah You will receive 22 points of healing. Holy fucking shit. That's awesome. Thank you kind of. Spring back to life. That you've done. that i've done yeah yeah i like nice i like i've got I've got a healing spell here. yeah I might as well bring it back up. Sprinkle coming to you.
00:49:17
Speaker
Oh, actually, bonus action, I used my Draconic Cry, so everyone until the end of my next go has his advantage. ah yeah Oh, mate. Oh, steady. Can't afford to lose any more spell slots.
00:49:32
Speaker
um I've only got two left. I have cast Grammatic Orb again, but oh, no, we don't have advantage, don't we? We do have... Chris Mohr? Hold on, what did he say? Chris Mohr. It's with advantage because of the of the... Hold on, it's with advantage because he did the cry, so you get to roll twice. thanks So what are you saying when he does the cry, he gets advantage? Yeah, two rolls. How long do you play advantage, by the way? Makes you roll at twice. 18 to hit. 18 misses. Far. oh Are we all playing meta characters now? we are all single nothing to they are Okay, a hob monster you were down you're up I'm gonna like it um attack it okay it's twenty three to hit him and i strike ah and it hits it with ah six points of fire damage yeah yeah and then with my boner action I'm going to Furry of blowjobs it
00:50:27
Speaker
with another hit with advantage, the first one in incoming at 23 again, which is going to be a nice juicy five points of furry damage, yeah and physical damage, and then one final time for the last one coming in at 22 to hit, all ah with seven points of bludgeoning damage. bus bar marsh you to con it things you can make it your cuz they're announced right you can make it your special okay flavor you're talking really far away from your microphone now william i was just talking to mark and something happened at this point the armor flings open and what you can see on a series of stilts is a small halfling just gnarly What do I keep doing? I studied this. I learnt how to control them. I am the alpha, just like the one with the goblins. Let me rule the kobolds, you little s***. Oh, it's gluey. It's gluey. It's just pulling the levers of this suit of armour with this little halfling. and ah It's not actually a turn, it's just said that as a free action. yeah So the armour's flung open. Flea, it's your turn.
00:51:40
Speaker
Could I climb the armour and pull Bluey out of the suit? You can certainly try. Always good. I'm going to try and climb the armour and pull Bluey out of the suit. What would you like me to do? I have to make a contested... We've got to climb first. Yeah, you've got to climb first with... I've got 40 feet of movement, so surely that's... Yeah, you're going to be able to climb it. I'll let you i'll say you're going to be able to climb it. Now i'm going I'm going to have to, but I'm going to say... You are greased up. Yeah.
00:52:09
Speaker
Yeah, I'm going to say gradually. Yeah, it's a point. The suit is covered in grease, isn't it? Yeah. Just to be a dick. Yeah, that would have been weird. It's doubly difficult terrain. Keep eating your cake. While climbing or swimming, each foot of movement, climbing or swimming costs one extra foot. Fine, I used my bonus action to dash. I bought 80 foot feet three foot per foot of movement pretty much. so like Okay. I'll say you'd be able to make it. Yeah. And then it's going to be like a grapple, I suppose. Yes. So remind me what the rule bar for grapple. Saving throw either decks or strength on your part. Sorry, I'm not merry and I can't answer that. DC is eight plus four decks or strength, whichever is higher. Fair I've done the role. So it'll be 10 plus whatever your decks or strength is as the DC. Oh, very small efficiency.
00:53:02
Speaker
Need brain time. plus two So what's your Dex score? and you frequency plustton in the debt What's his Dex score? What's your Dex modifier? He's getting there. So 13.
00:53:17
Speaker
fating He's out. He rolled a nine. You can grab him out now. I'm going to try and literally drag him out of the floor. You drag him out and throw him to the floor. And what happens is the suit of armour just cruncles to the floor as he's removed from it.
00:53:34
Speaker
Now, what that suit or armour there, could it fit, like, another cobalt? Out of interest. You could try, and you try. And do you ever... That's your turn, isn't it, sweetie? Yeah, I assume that'll just use all my options. Crips, it's your turn. Yeah, it is. Yeah, he's going to expand it Spurn him. So, it is... I was hoping that I'd get a crit then. I just rolled a 21.
00:53:58
Speaker
to hit. So what I'm doing is I've just stuffed my face full of cake, stopped now that my face is stuffed full of cake, picked up the axe again, seen this person come down and go, well, you're not... Fuck you! And I'm going to grab him by the neck and go... Unarmed strike again, against him. ah So I'm assuming it hits, so it'll be four, four points of bludgeoning damage, but
00:54:24
Speaker
I'm throwing in a smite. Yeah. I want to see a monk paladin multi-class. Oh God, do I want this to be... What kind of smite do I want this to be? A thunderous smite? It's less damage, but I kind of want it. Can I get a strength save from him? Yeah.
00:54:40
Speaker
eight fails so that is nine points of thunder damage plus the four initially um which brings it to 13 plus the hunters mark ah damage which brings it overall to 17 points of damage with a squeeze of the neck and a Okay, what happens is that all of a sudden um this halfling just set base to scrap says, worse than being eaten by the garbage.
00:55:12
Speaker
How do you want to do this? Again, all I'm picturing is just, like, Smeagol slash Gollum right at the beginning of Return of the King, like, ooh, his tongue's sticking out. And um with that extra divine power, just an extra kind of squidge of the neck until maybe something in the face pops. And that's... Sorry, the hell. Think, think, Greg, look for the there.
00:55:38
Speaker
You raped her! You mad- Oh god, no! You sent me to the goblins! Mayor Bluey, it turns out the mastermind of turning the town against the kobols to integrate himself, having studied the paperwork, having studied studiously how the goblins were controlled, and seeing that the presence of a metal man that went by the identity of the Alpha is being anchored. I haven't listened to the goblin episodes. I didn't need to. He's the leader though. So it took a while. That's like blurry. I don't know this blurry. As the body that died in air force consumed, this one's head has just exploded. And so as the dust settles,
00:56:31
Speaker
The residents of Gumpilton emerge just as the clock hits midnight. The fireworks go up into the air. And for another year, adventure in the land of Gumpilton, nay adventure in the land of the Fellowship of the Tabletop, ceases into joyous celebration at the turn of another calendar year.
Celebrations and Future Teasers
00:56:52
Speaker
What adventures await over the next 12 months?
00:56:56
Speaker
Well, you're just going to have to listen to the fellowship of the tabletop, aren't you, to find out. And that is where this year's festive special, Christmas special. Motherfucker! that's no and on horse open sla I have an overwhelming urge to hug ah everyone as if I'm Olaf from Frozen.
Closing Remarks and Listener Engagement
00:57:20
Speaker
That's where we're going to end this week's episode of The Fellowship of the Tabletop.
00:57:27
Speaker
Happy New Year everyone. baby ah Thanks Darren. Another Christmas special. I'm not gonna roll it now. In the books. And yeah, happy 2025 to um everyone out there with Christmas special that Darren's done now.
00:57:45
Speaker
I believe we we we did one with yeah a year without one and I might have reused one from a previous year to kind of miss the fourth. There was the star of Bethlehem. There was Han Doob and Steel's Christmas. There was Han Doob at Haggill and now this one. Wasn't last year last year was the repeat was it?
00:58:05
Speaker
No. last year was hands oh you four Anyway, we don't talk about that. We do say thank you for tuning in and listening and making us party every day week. We love you for it. Tell a friend, tell a family member, tell a loved one. If that's not a family member, then that's cool too. Anything about us would be great. Helps get the name of the podcast out there. If you wanted to keep up to date with the podcast, we do post sometimes on the X page. For instance, there's like images of maps on there. That's good for reference during the episodes. And then if you wanted to go one step further, you can follow us individually. I'm at iWorld 1. Who bears up not till twenty well edge lord column is that? is at TheD20Gamer. Motherfucking Will, who is my secret Santa for...
00:58:50
Speaker
ah For this chaotic Christmas is at... It was brilliant. ah James is that jabi dice roll mars at... at... And our very festive, our very own Santa of the Dungeons and Dragons. Dungeon Master Darren can be found at... darren page two six Until next year, guys.
00:59:10
Speaker
that