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Impact of Motherhood on being a Professional Creative
11 Plays1 month ago
Episode Description:
After hearing another creative openly share that she did not wish to have children and the impact she felt it would have on her creativity, especially as a professional. I want to share my experience of motherhood as a professional creative to give those who may be sitting on the fence about whether or not embark on the journey of motherhood, a perspective on the impact of this on being a creative professional.
My decision to embrace this quest was very intentional after experiencing and witnessing the flow on affect of mother’s resenting the loss of their opportunity to embark on their desired professional journey’s I wanted to break the cycle and explore the option of enjoying both.
Determined not to loose myself in motherhood, even though I feared becoming a mother as I didn't feel like I really knew how to develop a healthy relationship in that area of life after my own experience in my childhood.
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Intro & Outro Music: Shaman Dance by slavamusic
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Transcript
Introduction to Marie Nicole's Journey
00:00:00
Speaker
Do you desire to turn your passion into income? Connect with other creative souls who also dance to the beat of their own drum? I'm Marie Nicole and I'm devoted to combining beauty, uniqueness and connection in everyday living experiences. As a creative professional and Dharma coach, I help people connect to the truth of who they are and facilitate them in embodying their uniqueness. It is my hope in this podcast that I inspire you to live your life on your terms and earn your income through being uniquely you.
Balancing Creativity and Motherhood
00:00:44
Speaker
The other day I listened to a creative professional openly share that she did not wish to have children and that she felt that it would have an impact on her creativity. especially as a professional. This decision was cemented after spending a week on holidays with her extended family and their children. I am in no way judging her decision I think each to their own but I did want to share my experience of being a professional creative and give those who may be sitting on the fence about whether or not to embark on the journey of motherhood another perspective. My decision to embrace this quest was very intentional
00:01:20
Speaker
after experiencing and witnessing the flow-on effects of mothers resenting the loss of their opportunity to embark on their desired professional journeys. I wanted to break that cycle and explore the option of enjoying both.
Business and Independence Journey
00:01:35
Speaker
I was determined not to lose myself in motherhood even though quite honestly I feared becoming a mother as I did not feel like I really knew how to develop a healthy relationship in that area of my life from my own experience in childhood. But I was willing to make an attempt. I started my first business at age 23 and became a first time mum at age 27.
00:02:00
Speaker
Very few peers in my circle were mothers. I did not have the support of my own mother in this process and I did have a mother-in-law in my life at the time but our ways were not necessarily aligned. So I really was flying solo in the discovery of how to navigate this journey of developing a healthy relationship with motherhood, strong bonds with my child and sustain my business.
00:02:27
Speaker
Those early years were a learning experience, tough in some ways, but also effortless in others.
Home Transformation for Work-Life Balance
00:02:33
Speaker
As a full-time portrait and wedding photographer, I did end up putting my eldest son into childcare a few days a week earlier than I wished to. But when he was not in care, he was right there with us, playing happily around us working.
00:02:49
Speaker
While pregnant with him, we decided to move closer to my in-laws at the time for extra support once he arrived. And I was struggling to make the drive from the central coast to the inner west of Sydney daily where my studio was. So we closed that commercial space and operated from the townhouse we were renting in Terrigal instead. The master bedroom downstairs opened up to the front courtyard. So we transformed that into the office and had staff coming and going to work from there.
00:03:19
Speaker
We set up the lounge room as our consultation space upstairs with um our large projector screen mounted above the staircase and surround sound system so when clients viewed their photos it was almost a cinematic experience. Most of our consultations took place at night with our son fast asleep in another room.
00:03:38
Speaker
Clients were often surprised to learn we had a child and often commented on how our place did not look like a child lived there. My first assistant also had a child, almost a year older than ours, so often there were two toddlers roaming around while we worked.
00:03:55
Speaker
The reason no one picked up on us having a child was the way we decorated the place. It was done so in a way that was child friendly but also accounted for adult enjoyment of the space. With a Raytarn toy box as a side table, after play time all the toys went back into that toy box but it didn't look like a toy box. When he played with us downstairs in the office he often built cities out of postage tubes and we were also able to work with the sliding doors open so he happily played out in the courtyard in the dirt while we worked. We also lived a block away from the beach so when we weren't working we would be exploring wild nature together. With the desire to have more than one child but struggling to do so while navigating our way through balancing family and business
00:04:43
Speaker
And the stressful aspects were clearly taking more of a toll than we would have liked, making it challenging to fall pregnant again. But that doesn't mean I regretted the experience. There was so much I learned through that time. After giving up on having more children, being happy that I at least had the honour of bringing one beautiful soul into the world, five and a half years later, I was blessed with a second son.
Transition to Artisanal Business
00:05:08
Speaker
At this point I was completely burnt out and had decided to close the photography business and start a new venture that did not require me to be away from my children as much as that role did. Photographing on location for up to 10 hours with travel on top of that, some weekend shooting up to three to four weddings between Thursday and Monday, and then commercial shoots and portraits in between, plus the late night consultations. So I decided to lean into photography as an art form instead.
00:05:38
Speaker
and build an artisanal business which I could establish with children almost completely in tow. While I was not raking in large sums of revenue, this business created memorable and magical experiences for the whole family. My intention with studying my own business was never to make millions and then retire. It was to find a way that I could spend quality time with my children in their formative years and maintain my own professional identity along the way.
Motherhood's Impact on Creativity
00:06:10
Speaker
Building skills that would enable me to continue my creative professional practice well into my senior years. With my children now aged 22 and almost 17, I can say with all my heart that I have absolutely no regrets with the decisions I made back then. My children are the greatest gifts I have received in this lifetime
00:06:32
Speaker
And no, it was not always smooth sailing, but it has most certainly been worth it. In terms of the impact on my creativity and profession, I have no doubt that it has enhanced my creativity, as it has meant that I have often had to think outside the square to support them and serve my needs.
00:06:54
Speaker
And it has made me more resilient in dealing with adversity. In my youth, I could not bear to watch someone throw up without throwing up alongside of them. Motherhood got me over that pretty quickly. I know that has nothing to do with creativity, but it certainly helped me in my ability to use my mind over matter. I also got car sick a lot in my childhood and have not made a great passenger most of my adult life, but teaching my children to drive,
00:07:22
Speaker
has also helped me to deal with that. For the most part anyway. There are times I have had to ask them to drive in certain ways otherwise I would be sick. But back to creativity. Observing my children express their creativity alongside of me working has brought so much joy and many treasured memories. While I made their costumes, when they were little, did not take long for them to also start creating things for themselves, especially my youngest son. He was immersed in the activities involved in my artisanal business from day one. Both of them now also contribute to my business with skills that they have developed.
00:08:05
Speaker
And our conversations go so much deeper than surface level chatter. We often discuss equipment or software that could better support what I am doing in my business and modalities and practices that could support them in their health and wellbeing.
00:08:21
Speaker
and even what they themselves could do to start their own businesses on the side of their current jobs and create a life that enables them to truly thrive, which is where I have placed my focus personally on thriving, not merely surviving. These past few years of becoming a self-employed single mum has led me to really connect with my inner essence and develop that into being more of my outer expression.
00:08:49
Speaker
No longer trying to tame the wildness within to conform to the ways of what was deemed worthy by others outside of me, but rather truly connect with and foster my own self-worth. When I speak of wildness, I am not referring to being off the rails wild, I am referring to a deep connection to wild nature and its way of operating Having a deep inner knowing that we are a part of nature and that this is something as a mainstream we have forgotten, overlooked and instead separated ourselves from nature and its natural ways for more superficial pursuits. These past few years has also been a process of shedding layers that no longer serve and connecting back to what is essential in order for me to thrive and understand who I am here to serve going forward.
00:09:42
Speaker
I have always applied the ethos that just because I can doesn't mean I should when it came to making products I sold through my artisanal brand. Flying solo has meant I have had to apply that ethos to other areas of my life too. Not being able to do absolutely everything I used to. At times trying to do so out of habit. But realising not everything was supportive or necessary.
00:10:09
Speaker
and that I shouldn't continue to just because I could, electing instead to tune into what truly fosters health, wellbeing and wholeness. So I have been auditing and editing my personal and business life and have reached a point where I see the most value comes from being connected to one's own truth and operating from our unique essence. And I have been discussing this in depth with my two young men in order to support them as they lay down the foundations for their journey through adulthood ahead. Understanding that it's important to sustain our basic needs, but it's just as important to create space, to take those adventures, even in micro doses, and use our skills to contribute to the collective, not just work towards holidays and retirement, but instead create an inspired harmonious life's journey.
00:11:05
Speaker
Working with clients through my coaching service, observing others who could benefit from a supportive network that fosters thriving in each individual's unique journey, as well as being approached by others in my community and beyond expressing how they value what I have shared openly through my portals of communication, as it has given them permission to be themselves more, as well as constantly revisiting that question, how can I best be of service to the collective?
00:11:35
Speaker
Receiving whispers from an idea that hatched over a year ago that was not fully formed. It has revisited numerous times sitting on my shoulder, reminding me it's still there. Sharing insights into what is needed for it to be able to spread its wings and fly. Listening at times, ignoring it at other times. Until recently when it started chirping,
00:11:58
Speaker
so loudly in my ear like a little young hatchling calling out for more food that would enable it to not only grow feathers but strengthen its wings so it could take the necessary leap and finally fly.
Introducing Creator's Nest Membership
00:12:12
Speaker
So this idea has transpired into the Creator's Nest soaring membership. Now around the full moon in about a week I will be sharing how you can sign up to join this membership.
00:12:25
Speaker
If you're not already on the mailing list you can sign up via the link in the show notes. Now last week I shared an information booklet with subscribers and if you would like to gain access to this booklet DM me the phrase soaring membership on Instagram and I'll send a link directly to you. My intention with this membership is to support you in growing and thriving in your creative professional journey and life. And if you're a mother it can be hard to create space to take care of your own needs, but your children will benefit from you doing so. Even if you're not a mum, the flow and effect of us maintaining our centre in disorienting times flows out and impacts those in our community and connections in a positive way. The decision around whether or not to embark on the journey of motherhood can bring up the fear of no longer being able to enjoy experiences that were enjoyed pre-motherhood.
00:13:22
Speaker
It was always my intention to involve my children in activities going out to cafes, restaurants, live music, gigs and festivals. And that we did in abundance. Yes, it took extra consideration to ensure all were happy and enjoying themselves. Being a creative thinker certainly did help with this. We're talking here pre-iPad era in those early days of motherhood for me.
00:13:49
Speaker
My solution was keeping a little suitcase of pastels, crayons and drawing books. So when we reached our destination, they could do rubbings of different surfaces and textures or just use their imagination to creatively express themselves through drawing. While there were such things as in-cast screens and DVD players, we opted to travel with activity books on hand instead that encouraged the boys to take in their surroundings.
00:14:15
Speaker
making the drive on road trips in itself a joyful experience. Our weekend trips traveling to trade across the state was made up of one day trading and one day exploring and experiencing the wonders that that location had to offer. The boys enjoyed a wide range of everyday experiences as a part of mum's work, which they still express to this day that they have treasured memories of. While I personally have not been able to do everything I would have liked throughout their childhood. I am now edging towards an empty nest and not in a way I expected. Being completely solo once my children had left home was never a part of my long-term plan.
00:15:00
Speaker
But the fact that my children were so involved in so much of what we did, we have such a strong bond and we still enjoy heading off on adventures together which makes me even more grateful for the fact that I embarked on overcoming the challenges in a joyful way rather than avoiding them altogether or resenting that I did not get to experiencing them the way that I thought I should.
00:15:25
Speaker
This weekend just gone, my youngest son, his girlfriend and I ventured off to the south coast to camp overnight and explore wild nature with treasured friends. And while it was not all smooth sailing, being a lot wetter than expected, the annex we were using as the second room in the tent became a plunge pool. Thankfully, we had spare blankets and towels to soak up the water and built a damn wall at the doorway. But that did not dampen our spirits.
00:15:53
Speaker
We had such a magical time away and returned with our hearts so full. I have so much gratitude for the beautiful hearted people in my life and include my children in that. Not only did I return with a full heart, but I also returned with inspired ideas that I wish to take action on. And the people that we were connected to through this experience were people I had become friends with through my work.
00:16:22
Speaker
The realisation also said in after this weekend that on the edge of being 50 I am healthy and capable and have the potential to live at least another 30 years if not more. Motherhood has taken up almost half of my life so far but I have so much time ahead of me to embark on all of those adventures I had not taken over the last 20 years plus I will be able to immerse myself in all the creative skills I wish to deepen my understanding of. I have not lost anything by embarking on motherhood, but have gained so much more. So if you are contemplating the idea of motherhood, but fear you will lose your creative spark or professional drive, my take on this is potentially. But it does not have to be that way. You can channel your creative energy into creating the most magical, memorable journey.
00:17:18
Speaker
for yourself and for your children instead. Documenting a large chunk of our journey through social media has created a beautiful record of all the places that we've been to and things that we have done together.
Social Media as a Joyful Tool
00:17:32
Speaker
My boys and I refer back to my BuyMarina Cole Instagram feed from time to time to enjoy the visual reference of treasured memories created together, especially those from when they were much younger and don't recall all of the details.
00:17:46
Speaker
They themselves flick through the feed and share stories with their friends. This is where the digital age has a really beautiful aspect to it. Sharing on social media doesn't have to be about validating ourselves. It can be about spreading the joy or even the pain. When we entwine business and life together, we create a story that can inspire others to embark on their own quest.
00:18:12
Speaker
Be it motherhood or enjoying location freedom while you earn your income doing what you love, it doesn't have to be just about sharing the results of numbers of dollars in the bank. But the treasured memories we create on this journey of life, leaving behind deposits of love that will last well beyond our lifetime. So on that note, I would like to remind you that I am here to support you on your digital solutions journey too.
00:18:39
Speaker
If you would like someone to guide you in creating an enjoyable, sustainable digital presence for your business that does not consume your days, establishing supportive habits and practices so you can create some consistency in your digital presence.
Digital Coaching Program Promotion
00:18:54
Speaker
I encourage you to make the most of the heavily government funded program that I contribute to as a coach.
00:19:00
Speaker
If you're in New South Wales, Australia, have an ABN, run a for-profit micro or small business, make the most of this limited time offer to only pay a small fee of $45 plus GST. When you select the all access option, you receive up to four hours of one-to-one coaching, focusing specifically on your needs in the digital space. The $45 does not equate to the value of the service. My 25 plus years of experience in business Alchemised with my coaching certification is what enables me as a coach to shortcut the learning process for clients in this program. And signing up to the program through my affiliate link choosing the all access option, you'll also be supporting the production of this podcast as I receive a small fee for bringing you into the program.
00:19:51
Speaker
To register for the program, simply click on the link provided in the show notes. And if you're not in New South Wales, let alone Australia, the new soaring membership I spoke about earlier has been created to support you in your journey in a beautiful, nurturing way. And this is not just about your digital presence. It's about supporting you personally in business and life. This new offering is ready to lead the nest and take flight.
00:20:18
Speaker
The incubation process is over. I have been nurturing this little hatchling behind the scenes, preparing for it to spread its wings and fly. If you would like to be one of the first to know about when the opportunity to sign up will be open, join the Creators Nest mailing list.
Expressing Essence Through Business
00:20:35
Speaker
The Business to Your Own Beat podcast was incubated and hatched through Creators Nest based on the premise that this is a space to foster those who engage in it, to let their inner essence be their outer expression.
00:20:49
Speaker
and this new offering will be super supportive of that. So until next week, remember to channel your creative energy into creating the most magical, memorable journey for yourself and your loved ones, with children in tow or not, because life is a journey to enjoy, not endure.
00:21:09
Speaker
Thank you so much for your time. I know how valuable it is, and I hope you got value out of listening to this podcast. If you are looking for a coach to support and guide you through your own unique journey of creating a life you love, then reach out for a connection call. And if you'd like to connect with other creative souls in person by joining us at a workshop, a retreat, or to book a unique um shopping experience here at Creators Nest, I run those by appointment. So check out the website for more details. The link is in the show notes.
00:21:39
Speaker
Oh, and please leave a review. I'd love to hear any insights or inspirations that were activated in you from this podcast. And I look forward to drumming, dancing or soaring alongside of you.