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016 - One Last Job w/ Luke Summers
104 Plays1 month ago
Get your popcorn ready and cue Wiz Khalifa for one last job with a couple of Old Bulls. Tex sits down with Luke Summers to drop some knowledge bombs they've picked up in their 12-year journey together. 500 podcasts, that's the number, not to mention hundreds of seminars across 6 continents, and enough Fast & Furious movies to make family mean everything.
Through personal stories and evidence-based wisdom, they unpack how understanding child development transforms both coaching and leadership. Learn the power of praise and the art of building confidence through recognition – tools that reshape the trajectory of athletes and professionals alike.
Training Program - 7 Day Free Trial Old Bull: https://bit.ly/old-bull-train
Grab a Corona for the last chunk of the show for an exclusive clip from their unreleased 2019 movie podcast project. This one's for the family.
#CaptainsandCoaches #childevelopment #MovementCulture #LeadershipDevelopment #CoachingLife #HumanDevelopment #StrengthAndWisdom #PowerOfPraise #MindfulCoaching #MovementWisdom #FamilyOverEverything #LastRide #PowerAthlete #KidStrong #gonein60seconds
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Transcript
Introduction and Purpose of the Podcast
00:00:00
Speaker
If you're a writer and a director who are like, hey, we're going to make a movie that's awful, but at the same time, great. Your first casting call is Nick Cage. Like that's what that's what he does. When you come to the end of the line with a buddy who is more than a brother and a little less than a wife, podcasting together is really the only way to say farewell.
00:00:21
Speaker
Welcome to the Captains and Coaches Podcast, where we explore the art and science of leadership through the lens of athletics and beyond. I'm your host, Tex McQuilken, and today we're joined by my longtime pal and partner in crime, Luke Summers.
Connections Between Coaching and Child Development
00:00:35
Speaker
We've been through a lot together, and today we deep dive into the connections between child development and coaching, not just for youth sports, but across all ages. Luke brings a powerful insight in how understanding social and emotional development can transform our approach to leading both teenage athletes and adults in the workforce. Get ready for some fun stories and science that'll change how you think about coaching, leadership, and the profound impact of praising and raising kids. Party, bonus, stick around to the very end for a snippet from our Side Project podcast from 2019 that has never seen the light of day, until now. Let's ride.
00:01:23
Speaker
We haven't been in this position sitting on a podcast. Five years, four years, four years. We sat down and talked 10,000 foot view, which was an awesome episode. And I guess for the people that don't know, we go way back 2012 through this whole rigmaroo that is CrossFit, the sport of fitness that led us together. And then.
00:01:52
Speaker
10 years in the saddle together with Power Athlete and another year with Kid Strong. And now we're here hanging out with some dogs at our feet that you may or may not hear on camera. But yeah, man, this is an amazing opportunity. I'm glad we're back together. And I'm sure some movie quotes will be dropped since Tom Cruise has made some amazing films.
00:02:19
Speaker
since we were back in the saddle. And then maybe our podcast that we tried to start. It's in the making. It's in the making. There are some ah basement episodes somewhere. and But welcome to the show. It's nice to meet you. Yeah, we went to different high schools together. What do you want to talk about? A lot. Well, I love to sit down and have conversations with you. So imagine we're in that realm.
00:02:50
Speaker
we're in a space where you get to push, you get to challenge, but then rather than just pushing me, it's let's walk through your thought process.
Lessons in Leadership and Teamwork from Sports
00:03:00
Speaker
sure So effectively, I mean, speak to us about your first leadership opportunity. And then here we are X amount of years later where you're still managing leading and in a position where, I mean, it's evolved because now you're in a position to lead a family.
00:03:19
Speaker
there's There's an irony here, Tex, because if you you know knowing the audience you've talked about and stories ah you've shared, i the first like um substantive leadership opportunity I can think of is framed right behind us. I know, it's in the shot. so not like Genuinely, I think first game, first varsity game as like captain for coin toss.
00:03:48
Speaker
Right. um And then this was my, I guess this was senior year and I would have been inside linebacker. as well. So co-captain with a dude named Ryan Emerson, but we ran the defense like this year, right? Coming off stage championship. No big deal. Um, Oh, and Daniel's OD. Yeah. Oh, and Daniel's for our listeners only. This is a video podcast available on iTunes, Spotify and YouTube. But for our listeners only above us is a framed photo of Luke running back the only touchdown in his career
00:04:23
Speaker
I mean, yeah. Yes and? No, no, that's the end of the story. Okay. Yeah. Yes and was it like, did it go on the scoreboard? Yeah, momentarily. Okay. It was called back because someone who was never going to listen to this, Joe Alvarez, got called for defensive holding.
00:04:43
Speaker
Unlike this wing tee, he tackled the dive on a wing tee offense, which and they called it a holding. I don't know. So we basically count it. Yeah, those were the days. And then there's a lot more to that story with Bob Sakamoto, who will also never listen to this, who's WGN. I grew up in Illinois in April Central.
00:05:05
Speaker
high school football and we were playing, no, it wasn't Lockport. Maybe it was. All I know is Craig DuPong was supposed to run all over the Red Hawks defense. And I think we shut them out and they got one first down, you know? And I think it was our first game of the season. Like, oh, this is like very much Al Bundy, Polkaie football, but- So those moments are important. We all have those high school stories. So I like to emphasize it because it does, it's a pillar, it's a core memory. Yeah, absolutely. That we all have that then can be referenced later on half jokingly. Well, it is, but because I was going into Al Bundy, listen to you, Mr. Yes, and, okay. Because I say it lighthearted, but
00:05:48
Speaker
The matter of the fact is these are, these are trenched memories, emotions, and feelings that still resonate today 20 years. How old am I? 30 years? 35? 28? 25 years later. You know what I mean? And, um you know, I think of the dynamic that I try to create on teams that I get to build or on teams that I get to join, whether it be work, whether it be, uh,
00:06:11
Speaker
flag football when I played that, whether it was, what do we play, pickleball? When we were playing pickleball in Austin, I've been out of the, I guess out of the rec beer league career for some time now, but but like there's kind of like an intensity and um perception and pattern of behaviors that go back to like the lessons I was fortunate enough to learn from my coaches.
00:06:37
Speaker
it like throughout my high school career. And I know we've traded high school war stories for literally it forever. So basically every weekend we traveled, which was 200 of them. um But liz I guess listeners of your show know your your backstory in your high school football career, which was like getting, getting Lily padded transactional. Yeah. Transactional coaching. And it's just like these coaches, but I, like, I don't, I honestly don't blame those guys. Like, all right. Yeah. So I don't hold remorse. I'm not going to call them out by name. And I've since talked to them and then spoke through it. So that's why I'm able to provide the context that I do in these stories.
00:07:20
Speaker
but then also the context on on my end where it was the needed sport within growing up to to have context, character, support, verbal, emotional, which I wasn't getting at home. So context is there. So yeah, no remorse to those ah was gentlemen. yeah I wasn't as athletically gifted as the the the dude behind me who did play in the NFL. So I'm not mad at him. he's of since, you know, he's still a good pal, so. Yeah, yeah. Context is provided. Well, I think it's like, it it you know, you can maybe compare contrast to stories and, you know, for whoever's listening, whether parent, coach, athlete, whatever, is like two very did different tracks in the sense that, you know, there's a class of athletes in in your story that ultimately got pushed off to another,
00:08:14
Speaker
you know another opportunity another trajectory whatever you want to say and then in in our at least in the seasons that i was playing or you know call it the 10 seasons ahead 10 seasons behind there was like a feeder system into this high school where like there was like a puppet master um that ensured that certain kids would play together in in-house football, it was NYFL, and then they would join together in Pop Warner, and then that team stayed together, and it was the same age bracket, and then they came into the same high school. So this puppet master was grooming this team all the way up, right?
00:08:50
Speaker
And I got to play football with dudes for like 10 years. yeah you know And it created this trend sense of camaraderie and teamwork. And you know what ah um you know to fast forward again, those 25 years into current day when when I'm asked by my bosses or, you know, cause my sport now are like,
00:09:09
Speaker
My sport now is work, right? like I work to win. It's the second half of my life. The first half and most important half is family and fatherhood, and there's certainly a leadership dynamic in that space. and Um, a level of all of the elements, you know, we're going to touch on or you have touched on in previous episodes are essential when you're raising little future, you know, uh, savages, you know, cause I don't want to have two daughters and I don't want them to grow up soft. Um, which means they can't be raised soft, but that doesn't mean they can't be loved. Right.
00:09:40
Speaker
But um so whenever I'm challenged or on either end of these things, you know I always fall back to the fact that like I am not a lone wolf. And like I do not want to carry the log across the finish line solo. like I would rather lose together than win alone. like That's just me. And it comes from whatever experiences I had as a kid playing sports, you know, and getting to play with these guys that were like, you know, the the band of brothers type thing. And I don't think it's a unique perspective or maybe it is, i you know, i I haven't talked to enough people about their Al Bundy, Polkaie football moments to know. But that's, I think, what differentiates the level of impact a guy can make, ah either as an individual contributor or a member of a team, small team, large team, you know,
00:10:30
Speaker
Um, is where do you see yourself fitting in that space? And then even in the house, you know, I don't know, like, you know, when I say the house in the family life, like it's me and my wife, like we're, we are a team without a doubt. You know, I don't, there is no patriarch of the family.
00:10:49
Speaker
we we We complement each other. We know each other's strengths and weaknesses. We're aware of that. And then, you know, nothing is ever hidden because the stakes are high, or at least we believe they are. We've made the stakes high. And you have control over that. And your belief system is like, we want our we want our kids to be the best versions of themselves, confident in who they are, um capable in what they do, whatever route they take. Now, of course, I am,
00:11:15
Speaker
Maybe not, of course, and maybe not obviously, but for our listeners, I want my, one of my daughters to be ah a wrestler. Like I want her to wrestle or be in some sort of combat sport. I just, I just want that skill and I would love for it to be competitive. Now, will they do it recreationally? I think so. You know, cause one thing at the power athlete space, we always looked at long-term athletic development.
00:11:39
Speaker
How do you get your kid's exposure and build a level of physical literacy? And for those who don't know, it's just like healthy relationship with physical activity. Like it's just like brushing your teeth. You gotta exercise. You gotta be fit. You gotta eat healthy. and And the benefits of that with our time and my time at Kid Strong, you know, that permeates every element of life too, as it... um as it relates to social well-being, emotional well-being, cognitive well-being, executive function, self
Coaching Techniques and Teaching Methods
00:12:05
Speaker
-management. Like if you bang weights or lift weights or workout or you're just active and healthy, you're just like more put together, you know, so. Stepping into the seminars, assigned specific components of this this whole experience that we were provided was ah roles and responsibilities.
00:12:27
Speaker
So then differentiating those two of, Hey, here are your roles for this. You will teach the power clean to this group. That was our our intro for a lot of the the coaches that stepped into that seminar space.
00:12:42
Speaker
and then there's responsibilities. Between the whistles is how I like to refer to it, is like somebody's presenting, but they're still, all right, we're gonna take a bio break here, between the whistle moments. So then speak to us about your understanding of roles and responsibilities, because I know that nomenclature is brought to the CrossFit football experience. So then framing that up, so then you could start to build that team. At the time, it was just a word or phrase on assigning who's doing what, when, and why, and how, I guess. you know But I guess if you were to carve it out and get a little you know get a little deeper on it, you go into the transactional and transformational. But my big belief is that, you know,
00:13:34
Speaker
to really to really um establish a conduit for transfer of knowledge. You gotta build trust in you your group. you know I guess you could say, because people did, like it was an elective course, they had to pay, you know it was voluntary to show up. So there was already like a genuine interest. But again, I want like ah wanted to be the wet the best cert out there.
00:14:00
Speaker
You know, and everything else to me in my opinion was just like, uh, eye rolling, boring, dry, like information. And that's where you coined it infotainment. But I was like, it's gotta be experiential. Homer coined it. Homer Simpson? Yeah. Well, then you transferred his philosophy to ours. Um, so responsibility then was like to make people, like to make people,
00:14:24
Speaker
to entertain the people, I guess, you know, to deliver it in, ah to deliver our lessons and learning objectives in ah in a manner that was memorable and entertaining. So like, and J Wellie, Wellborn used to say, like, wouldn't it was almost famous, he would quote, like,
00:14:40
Speaker
I can't remember. im a Yeah. I'm gonna look for the one guy not getting off and I'll get him off. Yeah. Yeah. And that was it. It was like, whoever was the crankiest nut in the the basket is like, it became, we break, we go, who's not getting their moment or who hasn't got their moment, right? I think is what we used to say.
00:14:57
Speaker
it It's a range, usually that was in in line with a knowledge experience. Yeah. Not a good time, because a lot of the the movements were set up so that people do fail and that builds the buy-in. And sometimes when people did fail in particular movements, warmups, exercises, then they they put a guard up. Yeah. So now, okay, and in line with the like Socrates, ethos, pathos, and logos,
00:15:25
Speaker
Okay, well, passion, they're not buying, they're not having the infotaining time. Ethos, maybe it was that it wasn't John delivering this. So now, okay, they're they're their knowledge base. yeah Let's wow them with this lecture. yeah Or at one-on-one time, give them their moment to state their experience. so then But being able to, this goes into social awareness, which we're gonna get into SEL here.
00:15:53
Speaker
ah momentarily, but you're able to read the room. So it's, I would reference now, there's teachers and there's lecturers. There's amazing lecturers that are just writing on the board to 300 students in one of those giant classrooms. Cool. You put up on YouTube and you're going to find your audience there and there's teachers. Okay, here's the information we're going to learn, but I'm able to read the room and pick out, okay, you're not understanding it. You're not getting it.
00:16:23
Speaker
How about this way? I'm saying the same thing a different way. Or maybe, okay, you're not it's not clicking for you. I wouldn't say this in front of the group, but it's not clicking for you. All right, find me after this, or I'll find you after this, and then we'll find a connection for you. right Time out. Are you beat up burnout and changing your workouts to what you think it's missing? If you're changing your own training program, I don't think it's the right training program for you. Give the old bull program a ride. It's a movement practice designed for the thinking man who's ready to train smarter, not just harder. We've eliminated your excuses by creating a flexible program that adapts to your schedule.
00:17:02
Speaker
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00:17:33
Speaker
the old bowl program, wisdom through movement. Click the link in the show notes for a seven day free trial. Now let's get back to the show. Ready, ready and ready. Guy we work with now old patty cakes or you used to work with when I work with now.
00:17:47
Speaker
you know He used to call that that technique like change the playing field or move the playing field, you know just move it into their arena. and you know Even if it's not clicking for them, that's okay, let's get you there you know and just create, go go into ah reshaping it as an opportunity and normalizing the fact that people don't get it. dude like Some of the stuff we used to talk about was so complicated and I'll tell you right now, like the stuff where you're circling into here,
00:18:17
Speaker
took me a long time to wrap my head around because I never acknowledged it. I maybe I was just gifted with it one day, you know, and I can tie it back to, you know, the my childhood upbringing and being exposed to good coaches and in my Friends parents were good parents and you know, there was not a lot of like turmoil and anything like that. And so maybe you just kind of absorb it, but I always took it for granted. But then you see like, once you kind of zoom out and you're in charge of people and in charge of their successes and accountable for their successes, you got to be switched on and heady and understand where their limiting factors are in this space.
00:18:56
Speaker
in like the the dynamic ah that I would have that experience in um would not, in at least in my days now, is not lecturing. you know It's with my team at work. And it's like, if someone does not have the self-awareness to but just like does not know how to say the right thing and in like a group setting, and they're just not aware that they're saying ridiculous stuff,
00:19:23
Speaker
Yeah, it becomes something that becomes prohibitive for them and the team doesn't trust them and isolates that person. And maybe it's a bad Apple that's going to rot the bunch, or maybe it's somebody who just never has received that level of mentorship ah or honest, candid feedback from a place of love and care. So that's where I'm at. That's where I'm there navigating these, um,
00:19:46
Speaker
hierarchies of awareness is more in that space. But having been on both sides of it, in coaching or leading and managing a business, it's like the same principles, dude. It's the same principles. All you're trying to do, and I don't know who you stole this one from, and so I won't credit you, obviously. It's probably like Coach Carter or something. But you're trying to bring people to a place that they can't bring themselves, right?
00:20:15
Speaker
There's, there's two people, two credit for that. The first is Jeff Mad Dog Madden. This is when I was an intern at University of Texas football. And that was the, his big Y of coaching, which is to bring people where they can't bring themselves. But then there's another man out there named coach Martin Rooney. And then he, he added a layer to this. So I'm sure he knows Madden, but then Madden told it to me personally, but Rooney's
Leadership Dynamics and Influence
00:20:41
Speaker
is.
00:20:41
Speaker
bring people where they want to go, that they can't get to themselves. yeah So that added line in there, that's a big depth because as a coach, this is the coaching paradox where I want to, I want so bad for these kids that are not there yet to then bring them to the potential that I see. So then you start to want it more than them, and then you start this resentment cycle, which a lot of coaches get trapped into.
00:21:09
Speaker
So if they don't want to go there, I'm going to meet them where they're at. So then, yeah, that's, that's an added layer to that in line with what you're saying is if they want to go there. Yeah. Where was it going to go with this? I just think through like my true coaching experience is not.
00:21:31
Speaker
really as in-depth as yours, you know, in the sense of like the title of coach, you know? But I think what's interesting is adult fitness, CrossFit. So I have like group fitness coach, sure, done that. And I guess you can call like being a trainer is, you know, coaching coaches, essentially.
00:21:50
Speaker
um Three-year-old girl's soccer, coach the season of that. Go to tornadoes. Yeah, tiny tornadoes. And then, I mean, what else what else was I coaching? Tech's like, that's about it, right? Maybe some seminars that we did with some teams and people, you know? Any football kids? um but Way back in the day, yeah, sure. Yeah, so I guess there's like these really interesting pockets of small doses of coaching, you know? And I i go back, like, as you're talking about,
00:22:23
Speaker
I guess where a coach would see where coach would see an athlete, achieve like the level they could achieve would be their potential, right? Like you see their potential, but perhaps they don't. And that's why they're unwilling to meet you there. So then you have to compromise off of your vision of this utopian version of Joey, right? Whoever Joey is. And then and and you just work, I guess, work them up 1% at a time and see what they're willing to take.
00:22:52
Speaker
depends. So that this is where like my my year at Kids' Trump becomes valuable. It depends. So I mean, keep keep rolling on this thread and then ah then I'll highlight my big three that were, i mean I mean, essential, essential for my growth as a coach and then the the mission and vision of the captains and coaches. I'm curious what your philosophy is here because you've obviously gone way deeper than I have. My approach has always been like earn trust. Back in the old corporate days, my old boss said people will work for people that they know they like and they trust.
00:23:32
Speaker
So, but at that, what's ironic at that time it is like, I was totally pretending to be somebody else in this corporate office. You know, I was like, yeah if you've seen Workaholics, that's who I was outside, but then I'd come in and then I'd be like- Well, they're that way inside too. Well, exactly, but I would come in and be this polished, like Ivy League, pretend, hardworking dude.
00:23:56
Speaker
who just was like wearing this mask and it became exhausting. And I do think that's why I flamed out on corporate. dude if I wonder if i I told you this before, like, I wonder if I just went in and was genuinely who I was, which is like ah not like a scumbag or dirt bag, but just like the office space, like a normal 25 year old dude. Well, how old was I?
00:24:13
Speaker
like 22, right? Maybe they, I mean, looking back now, I know what a 22 year old kid can be. It can go, and there's a huge spectrum. And I know that spectrum narrows as you age, right? Hopefully, you know, um the bell curve just narrows. Like people just kind of like don't want to be wild child anymore.
00:24:32
Speaker
Um, with the exception of some of our, um, are not colleagues, but would you call them compatriots, comrades? Yes. Commies are commies. Um, but all that say is like,
00:24:47
Speaker
I also really didn't like anybody that I worked for there. You know, they're just like, ah well, it just wasn't my thing. So. but And they may not have extended the no. So they didn't. Yeah, it's a two way street, right? You the opportunity to get to know them.
00:25:04
Speaker
Yeah, but they were like these people of authority who I thought I had to impress when in actuality, they probably just wanted me to be my authentic self, right? So like therein lies a barrier to anyone. You know, if you're thinking about a client,
00:25:19
Speaker
and group fitness or, um you know, a coach you're teaching at a seminar, which goes back to CrossFit football, is like, if you could break the ice, create a connection, tell them a little bit about themselves, about yourself, and then people love talking about themselves. Like, this is all Dale Carnegie stuff, right? Like, employ some of that, and even in the coaching framework and dynamic, like, you're you're starting to open up that conduit, right? Where I think that,
00:25:48
Speaker
the the individual who you see potential in, and there's like movies about this, plenty of movies, Good Will Hunting, right? um but that then they they just become more receptive, more receptive and willing and able to apply your feedback. The problem is when you find these people who are so guarded or the like we almost go to the like the most impossible cases, this is also a skill that's very hard to do at scale, you know? So this is like a small niche. So that's like a mentor concept, right? So yeah it's hard to turn around a whole herd.
00:26:21
Speaker
I mean, it's possible, but it's just harder, right? And it's going to be a ah ah more significant battle. And then you have to be more patient and willing to lose even more and more and more and get smash your head against the wall more and more and more until one day you can reach these kids, you know? Yes. And that's that's where like true true culture comes in.
00:26:42
Speaker
So it's it's raising the expectation 1% as much as you can. That could take a week, that could take a month, it could take a year, but then eventually over time you get Red Hawks football culture. One thing I do want to highlight in respect to leadership, I want to call out, I had Dr. Brad on. This is referencing back to a previous episode. He's the A ah psychologist, sports psychologist, but he's talked about leadership authoritarian versus authoritative. Okay. And he's he's an awesome guy because he takes family dynamics and then applies them to sport. So in respect to this authoritarian and authoritative is a ah parenting term. So authoritarian is do this or else. Authoritative is
00:27:32
Speaker
Expectation. Yeah, we do this. We do this. So I've seen you model the authoritative very well. So then that is something that he brings to coaching and perspective on helping shape coaches using the find family dynamic model. Because if we look at that, it's it's almost a triangle. You have kid, coach, and parent all in the triangle. Parent is projecting onto to the kid, whether they know it or not, and sometimes the coach. yeah
00:28:05
Speaker
and then kid is projecting up to the coach, they can help it, and then certainly to the parent. And so it's this dynamic and sometimes the coach, this is what we run into in that transactional sometimes is when the the coach starts to project onto the kid. Yeah.
00:28:24
Speaker
And then the parent, if parent tries to throw down or do something, I've seen some crazy stuff from parents. So ah that is authoritarian or authoritative, like a good way, a filter to look on how I'm being approached as a coach from a parent perspective. And then if a kid, and this is all the light bulbs started to go off for me, a kid strong in that authoritative, I applied that because I thought I'm coach, you must listen. Certainly my,
00:28:54
Speaker
first few years at college level athletics. I did this, you listen to me. I had success, you listen to me. So now ah with the Kid Strong learning these different developmental stages of kids, yeah whenever there was a like a key, hey, we're seven, we're talking about interpersonal skills in schools.
00:29:21
Speaker
they're learning to do group work for PE is focused on team games. Okay, so now I was thinking every, I mean, run in I had with a kid where he was, they were a bad teammate. Yeah, I would then label them. Oh, this kid's a bad teammate and then feedback to the other coaches. Hey, like we need to watch out for him. Or step in and aim to be a solution for them. So I mean, imagine we're going through your pitch deck here, like the stages of development, SEL, and then I want to close with neuro-linguistic programming.
00:30:02
Speaker
We're talking stages of cognitive development. yeah Jean Piaget's stages of cognitive development. These are stages, childhood stages, like 11, 12, and under. But if you think about, I don't know if you have any parents listening, but your baby's, like about four years old, there's this limbic leap. And prior to that, they're in this stage called sensory motor phase, or stage.
00:30:27
Speaker
um and ah that like this is where if you have a three-year-old who seems like he's in dreamland, it's because he is.
Child Development and Parental Influence
00:30:35
Speaker
Like there there is no all that just like a bad acid trip if i I'm assuming I've never been on a any acid trips good or bad but like it's just it's this your sensory system is is still calibrating right and there is very little logic that is going, like there's no logic in the brain. And that's why, especially in babies, like newborns, there that's like the most ripe phase of it as they're perceiving light, then color, then shapes. right So that phase is mostly wired up.
00:31:12
Speaker
to, and that's why they're like wiring up, and that's why their babies are so dependent on parents, right? And that's their survival instinct is to like kind of be this needy little brat, you know? um And as far as like the opportunities there from a coaching standpoint in Kid Strong, all you're really doing is repetition of very simple concepts, you know, as it relates to social-emotional concepts, ah where, you know, for the listeners, Kid Strong's a, ah training program for kids who are walking to 11 years old. It's in a brick and mortar facility. It's led by a coach. It's it's it's a 45-minute class. Our aim is to introduce kids to a whole child curriculum where coaches are facilitating social-emotional activities, cognitive activities, and and it's all rooted in physical activity and athletic play.
00:32:04
Speaker
Parents are involved here because they have to be because kids will not respond at that age without some level of proximity to their parent. And they will likely not respond to anyone but their parent until there's this element of trust, right? And familiarity.
00:32:20
Speaker
So, um, going back to the repetition is like kids are high fiving each other, fist bumping each other and understanding turn taking and being introduced to co-play and some of these social concepts that like are truly not, they're not wired up for yet, but you build familiarity in it. So when they go through this leap from sensory motor phase to our, Oh man, I'm, I was right there. Um, Oh, I wish I had my slide in front of me. I can tell you preoperational is the final phase.
00:32:51
Speaker
It'll come to me, but this phase is starts to get into like the social dynamic, right? The importance of friendship. It's where ah authority figures are like the concept of authority figure figures are introduced. Like that's what they talk about in kindergarten, right? Is like,
00:33:08
Speaker
What's an authority figure? A police officer? A fireman? you know And in what their responsibilities are. And friendships create are starting to like form. But they're still in this kind of like dreamland too. So they're like you can brainwash these kids um ah with in in a good way. like And that's where this authoritative, at least my approach with being an authoritative father is, like um it like you just build these recurring principles that become rooted in belief right right wrong or indifferent and you see this in the news sometimes like when there's these really edgy political
00:33:46
Speaker
you know, or social issues. And you see like four year olds out there with these like really profane signs and they're like, yeah, F the, you know, unions or whatever. I'm just thinking of a meme of like a Boston Red Sox kid with his middle fingers. Yeah. Right. Like that behavior is becoming is, is like being cemented by observation or the environment. Right. Um,
00:34:11
Speaker
But think about weaponizing that for good, right? If you're from a parent's perspective, you know, if if you're out there and a value you want your child to to adopt is to lift weights and workout. Well, have your kids come out in your garage gym with you or do some sort of exercise with your kids and don't ask, tell.
00:34:32
Speaker
you know, hey, it's time to exercise, let's go. And then they don't have to do it, they just gotta watch, right? But you do it all the time, all the time, all the time. If you want a form of community service, bring them with you to donate things, donate toys, you know? There's like any parent in here who, you know, has a trillion toys like us, which we really don't have that many, I feel bad for my kids, but, new toy-ian, let's give someone else your old toys. And it just happened today, you know, we're in the middle of moving and packing, and the girls are like, we're baby toys.
00:35:03
Speaker
Because we kept baby toys because I thought maybe we'd have a third kid, but you know, life goes on. My wife said no. the um And I said, hey, well, we gave them to a family that couldn't afford toys. And now kids who would never have had toys get to have them because you guys were generous enough to give it. And like, this is a conversation we're constantly having, right? um The repeater, it's paid off. Yeah, it is paying off. It's the repeater, it's paid off.
00:35:29
Speaker
What is this face? Google it for me. um And then you don't have the Google? I'm sorry. No. So my model for podcasts, the aim is to- Well, whoever's out there is like, it's the freaking- You know how to spell Piaget?
00:35:45
Speaker
P-I-A-J, P-I-A-G-E-T-E, I think, p or P-E-T-E-T. Stages of them, yeah. um And then the final is concrete operational, where you just start to like get analytical thinking, which is ultimately the element of strategy and team work, not necessarily working together towards a task, but working together to figure out the best way to achieve a task. And like in like ah receive, process, rebuttal, apply.
00:36:14
Speaker
you know But I guess all that say is like, there there is a if if the kid's not ready for it, and maybe this is where the segue is going, like if they're not ready to receive just from a cognitive space, and where their brain how their brain works, then you're like not gonna get the response you're looking for, right? And then I guess the parallel into that is you get out of this like childhood this like early childhood and and great school age,
00:36:44
Speaker
you know, era of life and into the teenage eight area, like, which, candidly, I'm not like an expert in yet, because I don't need to. I'm sure when my kids turn like 11, I'll find some sort of job that has me working like in educational psychology for high school or something, you know. um But, like, the the the bittersweet part of,
00:37:09
Speaker
teenage kids and like there's like preteen and in that 10 to 11 year old, 10 to 12 year old, as well as like the parents lose control, their ability to control, their their level of influence drops significantly. And the people who have the most influence over kids beliefs, behaviors, um, in like those teenage years. And then like, I guess there's adults listening like, hell yeah. Um,
00:37:34
Speaker
Are there peers? yeah Hence peer pressure. like i remember I remember health class and learning about peer pressure in like eighth grade freshman year. I'm like, that no way. And like it's definitely a thing. I do have to throw this out there. Luke's.
00:37:49
Speaker
elementary and middle school and high school system. There's actually a book written about this that you got to experience. It's called Spark. There's also, uh, Candace WNBA player, uh, my Parker Candace Parker. So one of the best, uh, WNBA players of all time came from this whole system as well. So like it's, it's produced successful folks and there's a book written on it. And some of the coaches like hilariously, I serendipitously read this book.
00:38:19
Speaker
and then key in on Naperville and then name drop some of the coaches to you and you're like, man. i hate Oh yeah. I remember him. Well, I did. I should say I did hit, but I was like a terrible high school kid. Oh my God. My poor high school teachers and except football coaches. I was going to stay champion. late Yeah. I mean, what's, school's just waste time at that point, and at least in my belief system. But, uh, so yeah. So peers, peers, parents, and coaches. So yeah for the coaches of this age group, you have an enormous opportunity here.
00:38:54
Speaker
to earn trust. you know um And and like like is an interesting term because like you know I did not like some of my coaches. like you know and My position coach I liked. Defensive coach didn't like. Head coach didn't like. But I trusted them. And you know I look back on it um in terms of just what they had created there you know with that team and that era of teams was really interesting because I remember they They were all in, you know, and it was like radically consistent. How passionate they were about the team, about the culture, about the mission of being the best school in the country and winning state titles to the point there are several games where we as a, as a squad, let them down, you know, and they were, they said those things yeah and not in like a punitive way, but like,
00:39:50
Speaker
I can remember these coaches at halftime crying. Like, you guys let us down. This is not, you know, we have a belief in you. We know you're better than this. And it wasn't like this punitive thing. And it was really like, I don't know if this was scripted or not, but I, can it was a game against Wheaton Warrenville South in his halftime. And it was like one of those teary eyed things, coach choking up. And then he just got pissed off and he threw the chalk. Yeah, we had chalk against the chalkboard.
00:40:17
Speaker
and all the coaches walked away. Like he walked away, then like another coach, another coach. And it was like two minute halftime speech, you know? yeah And then we just sat there like, we betterfo We better pick it up. And we went out there and picked it up and like it it changed it, but like it felt real. It felt real in the moment. And I guess if it was scripted, it worked. Who cares? You know, a little bit. ah But I would be surprised if it wasn't like real passion and emotion. And it was just like radically consistent across every single game, across every single practice. At least that was my experience and how I remember it.
00:40:54
Speaker
Yeah, middle school sports are important. And a from my perspective, I've coached middle school sports, parents do, they do talk down to them. So it is important that a coach has the the awareness that like, it's it's not about you, don't take that shit personally. And Middle school sports are the buffer. It's the first time that dad is not coach. It's the first time you're handing off your responsibility of your child to a professional coach. So they're paid by the school to coach your kid in football, volleyball, track, whatever. So that, that is important for that independence, like fast forward forward back to being four when they're handed off to their kindergarten teacher yeah and that, that independence now, instead of.
00:41:44
Speaker
Just the the bond between them, now it's the athletic bond. I had a thought though, when you said that. like Cause I'm thinking about parents and how they ruin everything, like ruin everything and not all parents, right? But parents have, have the power to ruin the experience on the field. Like you hear horror stories. Um, I remember coaching Peewee football and being so thankful. I didn't have to deal with parents and watching our head coach, who's a dad of one of the players, right? But he was, um,
00:42:18
Speaker
What was he? He was like a he's he he found it or was the principal or president or something of ah a PR firm for Mayor Daley in Chicago when he got busted with a whole bunch of stuff. But like he's like.
00:42:30
Speaker
like razor sharp tongue. And he would dress these parents down and they just hated it. But all that to say is like, I think it feel, I haven't been on the, like a pitch or like a a field or ah a whatever, like for junior high sports. But i says I've heard stories how parents can be so controlling or in interfering, but they do they like do parents do that with their kids' teachers?
00:42:55
Speaker
Like, is that a common thing? All right. I do not know. Like, I would never hit up Miss Winky in kindergarten class and be like, why are you teaching Ruby about bats like that? You know, bats don't squeak. It's called sonar. You know, like the point is my point being is like.
00:43:13
Speaker
Granted, I've got to meet her. She's 20 years kindergarten and like she knows her stuff. But if anyone knows what those kids are ready to receive, it would be her. And when I mean ready to receive, I'm talking about from you know a school curriculum, which is also regulated by the state or the district, whatever you're in, right?
00:43:32
Speaker
But going back to like a pro coach and you know, um this isn't like knocking. There's always going to be a new junior high coach decks, right? ah But there's going to be your junior high coach has been doing it for 10 years. And then there's going to be the ones that like do it for 40 years. All that say is like at some point, parents just got to like.
00:43:50
Speaker
Parents do not know better. I would be shocked, especially in being able to work with parents with my current gig. And I'm in like, I'm in our centers all the time. I've talked to 5,000 parents, maybe, you know? And opening centers around the country too. And like parents do have no clue what their kids are ready for. And they like, that's not a knock on them. It's just like, there's no instruction manual. And if you really want to go deep, you like got to pay a lot of money and get some mentorship. What's up, baby?
00:44:20
Speaker
We're talking on the camera. He wants to go like this and wave. Okay.
Modeling Behavior and Social Environment in Coaching
00:44:28
Speaker
But um that's my, that's a little intermission from our girl Ruby. and ah From a coaching standpoint, like, especially in middle school, it's really interesting because there's still like like middle school kids, which is going to be your 12, 11, 12, 13 year olds, right?
00:44:49
Speaker
maybe half are not ready to be truly coached. You know what I mean? So the level of expectation there should just be like exposure, just exposure. The the whole purpose is to like expose your kid eat regardless of their background and level of coaching prior to that. You know what I mean? So the fact that they're being coached is the win.
00:45:14
Speaker
You know what I mean? And that's also not to like minimize the efforts of any middle school coach out there as well. You obviously want to coach to the best of your ability and and do your best to transform a kid's belief in themself and in their capabilities.
00:45:28
Speaker
um You know, the the real, the real, um I think kids are starting to get wired up around 14, 15, 16. That's when they're really starting to get wired up, at least cognitively.
00:45:44
Speaker
But socially, probably not there because now this authority figure is just like, what does he know you know? Unless you look the part, that's probably how you get the respect. Which is incredibly important. Modeling not only in your behavior, but also your your your posture. your ah lifting weights, your actions, yeah how you're treating respectfully from like a a male coaches, how you're treating women within the teachers, the front desk, et cetera, and aiming to to model all forms of behavior and then physical for sure. Yeah. Yeah.
00:46:21
Speaker
And that's if you don't look at the party, they're like, you just, it's fine. You have a different hill to climb. Actions, then you're speaking to, I ran, I got my walk in, I did this or I'm eating this. yeah So there's still opportunities for you to model certain behaviors.
00:46:38
Speaker
the So transitioning to SEL, a lot of this where we're negatively speaking about parents is low self-awareness. Or maybe they're successful in their their business world, so then they assume that that success would lead to coaching and leading teams. and and connecting with kids, call and place. So now that that is, I mean, it's called Dunning-Kruger, right? You assume your success in one field will transition into other fields. So then that again is that low self-awareness. So walk us through the stages of SEL and then where it transitions to, I guess, the the elementary level child development. Well, what's interesting is like
00:47:27
Speaker
at least from our observation and several of the, you know, experts in the space from their, their perspective as well as practitioners is like, there is, the stages are not as tightly bound as cognitive development. yeah So, you know, within, let's say a four year old who I'm looking at right here, uh, may have the same social emotional capacity as it relates to self-awareness as like a, oh, you're five now.
00:47:55
Speaker
Oh wow. A five year old may have the same social um ah emotional awareness capacity as it relates to self-awareness as like an 11 year old. It's just, it it is.
00:48:08
Speaker
a new field in terms of tracking the development and the ebbs and flows, right? And certainly puberty and the ah the new social circles, like that just kind of waves, it's sine waves, you know what I mean? And I think it's a trend lineup is from what I understand, but as far as like the specific stages, um you know, i think I think of them more as like um spokes on a wheel, right? They're just, inner they're interrelated capacities.
00:48:34
Speaker
of which ah there is not a ton, from my knowledge, um a ton of dependency, you know what I mean? Like in certain like in the space of sports performance and performance traits.
00:48:48
Speaker
Like you can be super strong at the expense of power and speed, right? So like there's this, what's the word I'm looking for? Is that like a compensatory relationship there? Yes. And sometimes, I mean, that's a benefit for your position. Yeah. So it's not a knock on anything. It's okay, this position, and this is where kids then fall into programs that it enhances their potential natural ability in, in spite of some of their other athletic components. Yeah. Yeah. That's a different conversation. This is yet more that social emotional development to keep going. I forgot where it's going. So team me up. I guess a natural component, I guess, is very external for teachers, parents. Oh, you're really good at talking to people. or
00:49:39
Speaker
you're really good at this. So then that gets gasoline poured on it. And then, I mean, the, the spokes and wheels, social, emotional development, I guess not as fixed as cognitive, but still in play as people develop sometimes five year old is, uh, on the same self-awareness track as an 11 year old. Yeah. Yeah. And like,
00:50:07
Speaker
And at the end of the day too, it is a, so like, as you think of SEL, like it, it requires a social Petri dish to flex and progress as well. So that's where, you know you know, advice to parents is like, make sure your kid has great friends because they're going to become a reflection of that. So it's for, uh, you know, assuming there's no neurodivergence or any sort of developmental delays, you know, um,
00:50:34
Speaker
that they're just going to be a product of their environment as it relates to that. And parents have influence over that up until that 10, 11 years old. And then it starts to diminish, you know? Yes. So then there, there also is an assumption for a lot of parents at home that they're getting these lessons at school and sport. And then the same is for teachers and parent and coaches.
00:51:02
Speaker
why How are you not learning this at home? Well, i'll tell like but my understanding of the school system as well is, well, at least in Texas, and I forget what they're called in other states.
00:51:14
Speaker
but Texas calls them TEEX, but they're the state standards on competencies, right? and And there's standardized testing around them and very little of these these these competencies are social emotional capacities. So like all that to say is schools aren't good at this yet because they're in a vicious loop of funding, right? Is that they have to, it's why schools are getting rid of PE, e you know, because like the their standardized testing doesn't,
00:51:42
Speaker
Physic is not the president's fitness test. Yeah. Yeah. You don't get funding on anymore to my knowledge. Now that that may be changing. I'm out of the loop on this. This is, this info is maybe four years old. um So like I would say that you can't trust the schools and not again in like a a demeaning sense. Like then it's not like they're trying to sabotage your kids, but it's just not, they're, it's not on the priority list. That's where it comes down to the teacher. And then that's where, you know, if the teacher is switched on in school in this or the, you know, the principals pushing this down in that location, but they're still able to achieve their, uh, their criteria for funding, then you'll get some of that. But, um,
00:52:25
Speaker
Yeah, the I think as that you start to scaffold that up and and kind of ladder that up into the older years and even into adults and even into um like yourre your young adults, late twenties. The thing about it is it starts to become trenched like it or rooted. Yeah. Right. So now you have these, you know, ah these like phenotypes or archetypes that it's not about necessarily shifting their capacities. It's understanding how to work within the that, you know, and I'm thinking like in the workplace, you know, that that is your challenge as a leader in the workforce. And then how I want to position this for coaches is that the coaches are the last line of defense at at the high school level, unless they're playing college to now have an opportunity to intervene through
00:53:19
Speaker
your teamwork or movement or exercise where they can learn these lessons before they got to hand them off to professor or boss who's not going to put up with this. Yeah. So that in that last line of defense and then walking through SEL, certainly to our listeners Google it, but self-awareness, social awareness, self-management, relationship building, and then decision making, ultimately in my in my mind leading to responsible decision making so in reflecting to sports if in the highest level of competition the kid is making mistakes and coaches like what where where were you on that one you didn't even know where the ball was
00:54:00
Speaker
So then, ah using practice, training, stress to then, this is where I, my understanding, I like the perspective of spokes on a wheel, but when I'm writing a practice plan, I can give us a theme today of self-awareness, where I like it as a strength and conditioning and sport coaches, or warm up that self-awareness. You're doing a self-check-in, and then if anything is wrong, I can see it with movement, but I need you to know,
00:54:27
Speaker
Hamstrings are tight, calves are jammed up. So then you're feeling this and you can communicate to me and I can give you a movement solution for that stuff. And then the the social awareness.
00:54:39
Speaker
this is where leadership comes in, our our pre-huddle captains or leaders on the team are speaking first. So now, if they're starting to speak in a demeaning manner, negative, et cetera, then I can help shape where they're at, where their mind is. There's plenty of one-on-one time in a practice, and then self-management.
00:55:02
Speaker
This is, I feel, the biggest challenge is like no penalties during a game. How are you treating your teammates? If you're not getting into practice or games,
00:55:17
Speaker
how are you responding? So then looking for all these different ah decisions that the kids are making and then aiming to to mentor. But again, coach only has four, six hours a week versus at home, but it's not nothing. So helping them and then ah relationship building, this is on the coach as well, making sure we're treating each other with respect in our six hours. So it translates into,
00:55:44
Speaker
the school six hours a day, and then decision making, not, I mean, not shaming, not jumping on them, not effectively creating an anchor that's a negative, but an anchor that's a memory so I don't make that mistake again, versus like, I failed versus I am a failure, reframing decisions versus, you know, MF-ing. So then,
00:56:11
Speaker
Like that's the SL model and then how I'm approaching it and taking it to, to sport. And like, yeah, nothing is as ah laid out in the stages as you pointed out, but still an opportunity for us to frame how a coach approaches this stuff yeah before handing them off to a professional yeah in in the business world. Yeah. and I would say like,
00:56:35
Speaker
It's tricky because it's all interrelated. It's all individualized. yeah you know At least from my understanding, again, I'm but by no means the authority on it, but have had the great opportunity of talking to um some experts in that field with in my line of work currently.
00:56:50
Speaker
um but yeah and then it At the end of the day, it all comes down to influence, dude, you know your ability to influence. And I go back to old Joel, my old boss, you know no like and trust. And my approach has always been lead from the front and and work work alongside. you know So that meaning as things get really tough, I'm the first one in, but like but and I will never go so far ahead where I can't take a step back and be right in the saddle, in the side car, when the guys take over.
00:57:22
Speaker
And then like once there's momentum and I don't need to be that driving force, I sit and wait. And just wait for the guys and gals to ask for help.
00:57:33
Speaker
And yeah, let's do it. And then it's kind of lead, lead them to a solution or, you know, figure out to how to create, reduce the friction, unblock them. And sometimes it's stuff that I just got to do or conversations I need to go have, you know, to, to, to de-burden the team and get them back on the, like,
00:57:57
Speaker
back in the fight and feeling as if we have momentum because there's nothing worse than like a team feeling having a mutual feeling of stagnation. Yeah. You know what I mean? And with, without it being vocalized, everyone feels it. And then you get the side, I know team members are over here and then a, a either non acknowledgement from leadership, a low awareness from leadership, or just that's too big a problem for me to handle. So let's, let's push it back. And the rest of the team is.
00:58:31
Speaker
Double taken. Yeah. Last component, neuro-linguistic programming. You're in trouble, buddy. I will... This is good is good value here. for For our listeners, my wife has given me a one-hour curfew at 101.33. Well, this is an important component. Neuro-linguistic programming, NLP. She may have left without us.
00:58:58
Speaker
We're going to have to drive separately. It's okay. Keep going. np and NLP. NLP. Oh, no, she's here. She's going to NLP. The weight of words. Yes. So I know coaches say these things and then i I joined a lot of different sport coaching teams. And this is the biggest arm wrestling match that I have to have is creating an awareness for them, for the word, the very words they're using.
00:59:26
Speaker
They want the best. However, they're saying different things that are... Hey, don't do that. We don't do that. Yeah. So it's so framed negatively. So then speak to us about the scientific approach to words and then how, I mean, you introduced this to adults to start now coaching and applying to children. Sure. Well, it comes in three forms to my knowledge. Okay. Uh, it's ultimately like the things you hear over and over gets cemented as reality, but the way to break the bond.
00:59:57
Speaker
the most effective is self-talk in the sense that, you know, I get strong every class, the way we we introduce and NLP for our kids is um they say, I am strong, I am brave, I can do this.
01:00:14
Speaker
And with kids too, it to help them reinforce these terms, applying gestures or positions or poses, um like speeds up the belief behind it. So we have, I am strong, I am brave, I can do this.
01:00:30
Speaker
um the The second, and that like you say it so much, you begin to believe it. It rewires the brain, okay? That's where like, if you wake up, like if you were just in a trench and not like, this came from a dude, a book called Tiny Habits, BJ.
01:00:47
Speaker
something, texts, you'll figure it out. it's It's in the Google. Once you get the internet or for whatever reason, you don't have Google for me right now. um Taking notes. He calls it the Hawaii Method or something. But anyways, um it's a behavior change book. And ah he he said, every morning, wake up, look in the mirror and say, today's gonna be a great day. And after about two weeks,
01:01:17
Speaker
it will change your perspective. And speaking from a personal rut, like I'm like, oh, this is like takes two seconds and is free. I'll do and it. And it does change your belief about the day. Right. Um, so like that self-talk and saying it out loud, not thinking it, I don't think there's like totally novel people have heard this all the time, but like it, all I'm saying is it works and we see it work with kids. Like I've seen it work with a hundred kids who come in,
01:01:43
Speaker
uh, whether or not they're introverted or, um, just like don't have a high level of social capacity that after about six weeks of saying this affirmation two times in a class once a week and then probably once or twice outside, because it's kind of cool, right? Their parents get behind it. They, they're, they change, dude. It's it is.
01:02:04
Speaker
It is amazing, okay? So that's number one, like the self talk. Then number two is like the the immediate talk, okay? And this probably like, honestly, this is the least effective. Let me go back. The next one is like ear shot. We're on time, babe. It's ear shot. So the way I've talked about is ear shot praise. This is very important. And I was talking to our boy MC last night at dinner. He has a ah seven year old son who's been in jujitsu for maybe,
01:02:33
Speaker
eight weeks and just like he really wants his son to get it because his son's best friend does it and loves it but his son like really wasn't doing it you know he's like doing it but like became obligatory and his his son's friend, Zandy, his dad was over. And what and is dad is ah probably, he's he's a mixed martial artist. Yes. So the son has been exposed to this before. Yeah. So they're at his house and this boy's just playing, like the boys are just playing and they they were like kind of listening to their dad's talk. And then the other dad says, Hey, I gotta tell you something.
01:03:12
Speaker
Logan like has is switched on, he figured it out. He is like really good at this BJJ thing. It was within earshot and this was unintentional, but it was within earshot and Logan was listening and heard it, right? And then next thing you know, one like he's asking his dad, like hey, can we go to BJJ? Then that very class, Logan's coach says,
01:03:37
Speaker
you You have turned a corner. You are going to be great at this. And now he can't, like Logan's obsessed, right? So that earshot praise or on the contrapositive that, right? Like the demeaning statements that you say about a kid within earshot, oh, he's shy. Oh, he's shy. You're projecting and imprinting this belief about that kid's self.
01:04:00
Speaker
just by saying it in earshot, not even to them. It's more, it's more impactful, more influential, right? And then like the third least, but still it's the form of that NLP is like, you'll never amount to anything kid. You know, you're just a, you're a schlub. Why are you so shy? Why can't, why are you so stupid? Like all these terrible versions of that, but like take it on the other.
01:04:22
Speaker
Honey, you are brave. You were brave like you are You don't know how how caring you are. You're a good person. You're kind. That's just the least effective way to do it. Not saying that you shouldn't, but if my daughter was next to me and someone said, oh, so she's shy? I'd say, no, she's she's not shy. She's really outgoing. It takes her a minute to warm up.
01:04:42
Speaker
and like ah That is the what I can do. like That's the best version of what I can do until she says, I'm not shy. And like that becomes her mantra, if that's the thing. you know Yes. And I mean, infinitely within coaching. Because even if you the ear shot, and I mean, this may be a fourth layer as you get into the the middle school and the high school sports, or i mean even college,
01:05:09
Speaker
where if we're coach to coach and I'm talking to you about player X, we can't trust him. And then player Y hears it, he goes and tells player X. Yep. Devastating. Devastating. but you you know Now that I'm reflecting, as I've told you many times, how great my teammates were in my senior year of high school.
01:05:38
Speaker
Ironically, our team motto that year was, my teammates are great. So every practice, start of practice, every practice, end of practice. We said, my teammates are great. And everyone thought it was so stupid and like it was and is, but what's the power of that? is I don't know if this is why Joe Bunge did it, but we even had shirts that were made. My teammates are great.
01:06:00
Speaker
you know And like that's how I remember it. That's how I believe it. you know And there's there's people on there that like I was not friends with, but I probably right now would reflect and say, yeah, they're great dudes.
01:06:11
Speaker
you know Um, but yeah, that's, that is a really, really, uh, effective, effective way to change belief in behavior about kids ah and adults too, by the way. And it it is the most effective in that earshot space. If it's someone of, uh, authority and respect, right? So the fact that Zandy's dad who's like a savage, right? He, this dude is like.
01:06:34
Speaker
like basically a mutant superhero to Logan. He said it about him, you know, and it's cemented a belief in just one rep. Exactly. But that's not how it always happens. It takes several, several, several, depending on how trench the belief is in that kid, it'll take several.
01:06:49
Speaker
Yes. So I've ah found effective ways to integrate this SEL development into online programming.
Old Bull Program and Self-Leadership
01:07:00
Speaker
So how my approach is, I write six-week cycles, and then I'm tackling a a negative trait that I feel kills teams, infects individuals, and then prevents them from ever becoming leaders. So NV,
01:07:16
Speaker
anger. So there's different sides of all these. So focus on a trait for six weeks, but then use this SEL approach and neuro-linguistic programming to apply that. So week one, create that self-awareness of when have you felt envious, and then try to uncover why. And from there, walk through, okay, well, here's self-awareness components where if you feel this, then say this,
01:07:43
Speaker
and you may not believe it, but it'll be healthier externally and then working through social awareness. So now I'm just not just saying this to myself, now I'm aiming to compliment the person I don't get along with. So finding something good within them and then self-management, if I feel the the tick, the anger, well then practice trying this. So work through this by the end of the six weeks now and making aiming to make more responsible decision makings connected to envy and et cetera, different negative traits. And then the the movement is your meditation time because ah it's ah a flexible training program for a lot of leaders, fathers, people who you got either two
01:08:29
Speaker
to six hours to work out a week. That's it. So then I spend my 60 minutes or my 30 minutes, uh, whatever the program calls for focusing on this prompt and then close out with these questions. So this self leadership.
01:08:47
Speaker
leads into now when I see it in my kids, if my kids are acting envious or my team, kids on my team, I'm i'm coaching high schoolers so or within the teams that I'm managing. If we're seeing those traits where person A, got a raise,
01:09:04
Speaker
Person B feels that they deserve that. Okay. Well, how can I step in versus stepping back? Again, self-leadership with this program, aiming to then help translate to different opportunities within their arena. So that's ah that's the connection. It's the old bull, which and we were hitting in your garage for you for some time here.
01:09:28
Speaker
and That's the aim here. So still a lot to learn and uncover here. I see the connection between all these ah things that I picked up within my year for mistakes that I made as a leader and a coach and then helping empower future captains and team leaders yeah for this. Because they're going to face these problems and better you have these social emotional tools to to lead through them versus Stopping yeah walking around or I mean even worse just Not taking responsibility and blaming other points and where do they take that into? Some negative cycle that doesn't end good for anybody. So We've got the the red light. Yeah from the missus. Mm-hmm So we gotta end this episode, but I imagine there will be more So thank you for joining me. Thanks for everything. Hey, it was very nice meeting you today. You seem like a nice guy. I
01:10:28
Speaker
I will. I'm a new man. So there you go. You're not wrong. Well, if people want to follow you, I know you're on social and you now have less followers than I, so. I don't know, man. Like what is, what is it anyways? The, uh, Instagram's the Luke Summers.
01:10:47
Speaker
Maybe one day I'll get back in there and put all my really engaging jokes in there, you know, my stories of what these kids are doing these days. But you can take a peek at me over there. And then, I mean, you've dropped enough for people that are interested to go take on and learn. So that that's important. Yeah, absolutely. Take these steps. Well, we got a dinner to go to, so onward and upward. And thanks for joining us, listeners. Bye. ah Bye.
01:11:17
Speaker
scene. Thank you for joining us for another episode of the Captains and Coaches Podcast. Be sure to subscribe, rate, and review the show as we continue to deep dive leadership from a lens of athletics and beyond. And now stay tuned for a little snippet from Luke and I's side project podcast. Say that five times fast. We like to call trailer just matter. Here we go. Don't hate us. Bye.
Debate on Movie Trailers vs. Film Quality
01:11:46
Speaker
movies, what we're celebrating is the best part of the movie, which is the compilation of all of the most significant sequences to convince someone to show up and actually spend their money to watch a movie, the trailer. And I think it's a face off face off between the trailer and the actual movie. Oh, yeah. Now, woven into this epic showdown is also the showdown between you and I. Oh, yeah, your stupid opinions. And then the things that matter, which is everything I say. ah No, would you say that's an accurate representation of what the show is all about. It's a representation. Okay, so episode one, we're just going very light outline. Again, we we don't even know what this is. The objective is we're going to watch rewatch
01:12:39
Speaker
the official announcement motion picture trailer of a movie. And then we're going to rate that movie against its trailer and we're gonna see who won. And along the way, we have a couple of categories we're gonna dive into ah where they lost me. Which happens a lot. What got Tex off? Which happens a lot. Who wants it? From the movie? Who's gonna get it? the first more realistic the first movie we're going to hit is a Nick Cage classic gone and in 60 seconds. So what year did this come out? mc quote and ah This was the year 2000. And I believe in our breakdown of this, we're also going to
01:13:24
Speaker
talk through the significance of these movies and where we were off in our lives. Okay, so 2000. Yeah, I guess I was a summer of 2000. Yeah, summer of 2000. So that what I was in high school. um I guess Man, I, there's, I saw the movie. You were peeking somewhere. It's post state championship. Uh, I don't even know what's the, what's the month June 2000. So it would be, this is a summer blockbuster post. So post you, this is just probably wearing my state championship ring, crushing it in your Letterman and a hundred percent in the letterman's code. I guarantee it's June 90 degrees in Illinois and I'm wearing my Letterman's jacket to go to the movies.
01:14:09
Speaker
I probably saw it with my buddy, Emerson. We probably saw it. It's seven bridges. Um, man, I just can't remember the first time seeing it, but I've seen dozens of times since. Okay. I've seen a handful, but did catch it in the theaters because I was 14 transition from eighth grade to high school. So this was it, right? All you did in that time was go to the movies. We weren't drinking beers And this was post paddling. So I know I've told you that story. Sure.
01:14:37
Speaker
It is your initiation for high school. You've seen days and confused. It is real. And so I was like riding high and my sister was a rising senior. So it would be like, go to a high school party until you get kicked out. And then you go to the movies with your boys. So this was one of the films. So you remember seeing this? Oh, yeah. So 14 years old summer, just getting dropped off. When did Fast and Furious come out?
01:15:00
Speaker
we've we've looked at this After this, this is pretty fast. Because I know for a fact, I remember seeing Fast and Furious, and I remember speeding home and my buddy Dolan's ah Mercury Mystique. Oh, you raced after? Oh, yeah, 100%. So I had to have seen that. There's no way I didn't go see it. So ah part of this premise, ladies and gentlemen, is McQuilkin and I here are going to actually watch the trailer. When was the last time you watched the trailer for Gone in 60?
01:15:24
Speaker
I can't even tell you the last time I've seen the movie. Okay. So live viewing of the trailer and our reaction. This is going to be the highlight of all the movies. Everything in this movie has to offer. Here we go. Cut to the chase. Is that the tagline of the movie?
01:15:44
Speaker
I got to say it's pretty good. It is pretty good for like a 14 year old man, but I'm kind of lost. What do you mean? the the taglines or what was posted as like written word had nothing to do with what was going on in there. I guess I'm not even looking at that. So you so here's what I get. I'm listening to the one liners, seeing what's written on there. What are you thinking? I'm watching these cars get smashed up in these amazing driving scenes. Yeah.
01:16:13
Speaker
Okay. And that appealed to us yeah in the year 2000. So we we went and saw this. but ah Okay. So you see this preview now, are you going to pay 10 bucks to see this movie? Or if you're in Newport Beach, are you going to go pay $30 to see this movie? Right now at this time, no. You're waiting for Netflix. ah No. I'll wait till you tell me to go watch it and then I'll probably wait till it gets on a plane. But like at this point, but I know when I liked the movie, but the trailer,
01:16:42
Speaker
No. All right. All right. So next phase, ladies and gentlemen, we're going to go in hot and we're going to go in fresh. We're going to watch this flick and come back and revisit what we got going on here on trailer. Just met her. Stand by.
01:17:01
Speaker
o fact Ladies and gentlemen, we're back two hours later, part two of trailer just matter. As you know, we, live previewed the preview to the motion picture gone in 60 seconds starring Nicholas Cage um amongst others now uh a couple things we want to talk about with this thing first off we've watched the movie Texas laughing because it's great um yeah Who won the preview? I think that the preview did not do the movie justice. I think the movie rocked it. I think the movie beat the trailer for sure because the beginning, man, they did an amazing job, whether it was just like, these are pro act like Robert Duvall.
01:17:47
Speaker
Well, just honestly even the opening credits and like the the stopwatch in the the song choice Oh, yeah, it's just like kicks you kind of like kind of getting pumped into it kind of getting pumped into it So I got to say like man like the movie Okay, so final trailer final review of the movie though. It's still not good, but great just I should have marked like a time code Mm-hmm for when it stopped being good. I What type of trivia you want to dive into ah um some notes that I got was the first female voice in Greek. This translated to come in 60 seconds. I thought that was a
01:18:26
Speaker
sure Um, but final racing, a lot of it when it was at the pier and period closed down in 1995 and Long Beach. And so they just let the stunt drivers improvise. Oh, okay. So they let the. The lead car, whoever that man was just kind of go and Nick cage did a lot of his own stunts. So anytime like we saw Nick cage driving, it was Nick cage driving. Yeah. That's what I remember that being a thing back in.
01:18:55
Speaker
Like when this first came out, that was like, it was a um like a current affair. That's not a real thing. But like, entertainment was a real thing. well I just don't think they talked about movies. Entertainment tonight. um Oh, this was a remake. No way. 1974. And they had ah two, two of them. So there was a ah sequel to this from 1974. The there's a sequel.
01:19:22
Speaker
Do you think there's another gone in 60 seconds? No, because this fact is going to blow your mind. Are you ready for this? I guess. Bring it. Okay. So the, the buddy cop, Tim Oliphant, who's he's crushing it right now. yeah He was offered the role as lead in the fast and the furious over Paul Walker. No, Vin, Vin Diesel, Tom Toretto.
01:19:50
Speaker
Vin Diesel was the second choice for Dom. And you know why Tim turned it down? This flick. This, they were too similar. Huh? And he just, he wanted to do more. What a whiff. I don't think so. I think he's a great like true actor. Oh God. Here we go. The last 30 minutes is fast and furious of just like stupid, ridiculous. Are you kidding me? Well, that was one car chase though.
01:20:15
Speaker
One tiny car chase at 30 minutes. The whole Fast and Furious series is a continuous car chase because I'm a firm believer that something can be great and awful at the same time. I am not. Well, I am. So let's talk about what made this flick. Great. Absolutely great. Okay.
Reviewing 'Gone in 60 Seconds': Nick Cage's Impact
01:20:32
Speaker
um I got my gripes i'm trying to look for my okay the setup just they they took their sweet times you got the coach from the remember the titans who goes and visits nick cage at his new deal where he's teaching kids at a dirt race whatever so like they took their sweet ass time to create this mystique this legend of memphis so much so yeah that two cops in a diner like oh my god it's memphis it's memphis you never guess who just walked in this diner Um, first name basis with l LAPD beat cups. And then Nick cage is self-talk. I'm going to take notes because he like puts on a leather jacket. I forget what he says, but he's like, I'm a bad man. the And the talk to the cars. Yeah. Like I loved everything about this. Like, uh, this feel good. Nick cage, just all of that. Yeah. yeah Just the, the self-talk man. It's great.
01:21:30
Speaker
Yeah, obviously. Yeah, his his brother. So you'll notice he looks different. He looks clean cut and shaved. Hang on. Yeah, go. So on the last scene, it's a it's a it's a symbolic demonstrate like showing of he's grown up. He's realized like man, my brother did something for me. He left to try to keep me on the straight and narrow like after um yeah It's the visual representation of Nick Cage's acting, because he looks like an absolute garbage can, the whole movie, man. Like, you see how pale he is? That is what I'm getting at. No, it's like overdone. Like, what the is Giovanni? What is Kip thinking? What's this look? He's got a terrible accent. Hey, I got an idea for, oh no, his voice, everything, the way he's talking, the way his beard looks, the way his skin looks, the the outfits he's selecting to go case cars. He didn't select. You look like a robber.
01:22:23
Speaker
You look like a criminal like he's from Long Beach. Wear a collared shirt. Wear a collared shirt and sunglasses at night. That's better than looking like a so robber. Think that way. But you got to know if you look like an absolute skis dirtbag like ah that. Here's the thing. I don't think character almost ruined it for me, but was so bad it made it great.
01:22:45
Speaker
yes Which is on my list. Kip in his voice, in his look, his skin, acts how greasy he is, his facial hair. Oh, this movie. That's what that's what made big fan the slick back everybody. Oh, yeah. I got where I guess this movie lost you. I got a long list. Okay. Okay, because there's a lot. ah And then the cars blowing up from when that guy from lock stock came to save Nick Cage from the fight. And then every car in the parking lot blew up because he blew up one car. I don't think it works like that.
01:23:18
Speaker
Well, I don't never blown up cars. Well, I don't know. So that's on the list. okay So I called that proximity explosion proximity heat. ah Then the 6 a.m. And you said this aloud when they're like, ah where are they going? And the cops made a just a big guess and put all their chips in on one place that the guys would be. And you said, yeah, 6 a.m., L.A., the Long Beach. You have bullshit.
01:23:44
Speaker
Allowed. Uh-huh. So I was like, all right. Well, that lost him. And then the car launch and you and I just looked at each other like, whoa. And this set up the whole Fast and Furious franchise. That one leap of faith. If they can launch off a tote, we're going to be dragging a safe through resilience soon. Watch us. The final answer.
01:24:08
Speaker
of what, where this movie launches. It's like, I can't, I'm done with it is when he gets the results back from the forensics on the glass shards found at the warehouse that they're black, that they're black lights. Hang on. And he's like, what, when they're going to Long Beach,
01:24:28
Speaker
And he doesn't tell them until they get to Long Beach. Like granted the ride should be 90 minutes to two hours, but it took six minutes, which is fine. But they like show up and then they discuss why the they're there. Like you don't think, what are you talking about on the car ride?
01:24:44
Speaker
Oh, good question. yeah Are you just going to? Hey, we're going to the warehouse because these glass, these black light glass shards. I'm pretty sure if we bring black lights, we're going to be able to see something on the wall. But then you like cut to the scene where they show up. None the wiser. He's like, oh, black light. What? We're going to have to ask Kelly about this one, but I think that's how cops talk to each other. But if they're on TV, but they're not talking on the ride, they're like on what the mission is. If you don't think that low rider scene,
01:25:14
Speaker
made this movie great. I don't know who you are. I have no texts. Let's go. Let's go in. Let's talk something here real quick. Okay. What is, what, what had you drawn in the most and then what pushed you away the most? The peak in the Valley coach from the Titans visiting Nick cage. Okay. What about like the Valley?
01:25:36
Speaker
the final car chase jump and then the fight with the bad guy. Yeah, I'd say the factory. I'd say fight with the bad guy. It's close. And you know what? I just realized where, where it legitimately lost me.
01:25:50
Speaker
is when kit brains gets in that claw machine and has the ability to swing the cloth so accurately within two feet of his brother to knock off two guys. Nah, I'm not buying it. That's legitimately where it lost me. Yeah, I can see that. Yeah. Yeah. It was going before that. And it was pretty close when you looking at reason when we were talking about the wrecking ball as well. Oh yeah. snashing That dude. And he just doesn't have a scratch on him.
01:26:16
Speaker
Uh, get the out of here. That was also one point. It was also in the preview and we're entering the preview. We're like, Oh And then when we see it real time, we're like, ah, he's dead. And that's another question we should probably add to this list. How many people died in this movie? They don't acknowledge a dozen or so. Yeah. But, uh, yeah, he's dead. All right. So peak for me is the drop off of the initially getting in like, uh, Memphis rain's getting dropped off to go boost Eleanor.
01:26:46
Speaker
Just that exchange between him and his bird, right? He was, when they took, just took the photo. No, like on before the final chase. okay And he pulls out, right? And then he like, it's kind of like this, like we've done it, relieve, reprieve. He thinks everything's going well. He turns and he goes, we're going the good easy way or the hard way, easy way or the hard way. And then it's just like hard way. And he like hits it and pulls the U-turn and goes like that. That whole sequence is great. Yeah. Yeah. That's good. That's a good one. Valley, the whole ending.
01:27:20
Speaker
after that moment at no like after go off no even after they'd like get away which is don't even get me started on like the logistics of letting Memphis rains go from the guy who's been chasing him his whole life I'm talking the barbecue the barbecue scene okay which is badass grill by the way it's a legit grill but the whole thing is just I don't know how you do it any better. I think you you see a better version of it in the fast and the furious, to be honest with you. Maybe they did like they closed it out the exact same way. Get the out of here. You know, this is awfully close. But I mean, Mission Impossible did earlier than this, but it's just we're going to go to a bar and what next? I don't know, man. I'm going to go here. are You're going to go there. That's what this was. I don't think so. It was a come together moment. I think you can't still steal cars. Lindo gave you one.
01:28:12
Speaker
Mm hmm. You think Lindo gives them two? Well, why didn't they make a sequel? TV, it's probably still 20 years later, you're saying there's a chance. Yeah. Angelina Jolie's son with Nick Cage. Mm hmm. Now we're talking. So we got Memphis and sway. What the hell are they going to name their kid? I can turn buckle.
01:28:37
Speaker
do this. We got it related at the end with the coach, uh, from remember the Titans, but, um, why don't we just get his character's name so you can stop saying, Hey, I like this better. Just any movie we're going to collect members for your team. Like a just big fan of that whole style of scene and collecting your crew. Love it. So they did a great job because they didn't rush it. Again, it was like 20 minutes to collect their whole crew. And then you have the youngsters come in. Um,
01:29:05
Speaker
So like Armageddon and it's the same producer. So Armageddon, the same thing. Like you, you get the backstories and these guys and their connections, the relationships, and then they're coming together on a team like any movie that does that. Um, you're in, so you're in and gone in sixties, what you're saying for until I got out and then they draw you back in. I thought it was pretty, it was shot pretty well too. A lot of like upward angles. Did you notice that? Like looking up at dudes?
01:29:34
Speaker
I suppose. A lot of zoom in. Dramatic. Zoom. Yeah. On faces. But yeah. I'll tell you, Nick Cage's best acting was after the moment they lost me. He almost sucked me back in by his ability to sell that he actually just leapt, I don't know, 30 cars off of that ramp and then landed and and kept on driving like the deuce of hazard. ah And his reaction like, oh I actually did that.
01:30:03
Speaker
Yeah. And then like the very next scene follows it up with just pure ridiculousness. Uh, yeah. Or second. This is where I need the LA map. Cause apparently whatever the bridge that was led right into a tunnel underneath the airport. Uh-huh. And then he lost the, house yeah, I think that tunnel goes to the airport. Yeah. But then it went to some, but then he's out of the tunnel yeah and then on a bridge with a toll. And then also he's on the in Long Beach and then he's, it's, he, he was one or two minutes late at the the harbor, but then he was 12 minutes late at Colletri's junkyard. Yeah. Like, trust me, let me just tell you, you can you can't even get through the in and out drive through in 12 minutes, man. Like it's so their accuracy is so far off. It's just the outlier. Like you have to dismiss that data point. It's so far off. Yeah, you just got to dismiss it. I guess. OK, so we're saying that the the movie beat the trailer.
01:31:00
Speaker
A hundred percent. Right. The movie also is. Yeah. The movie is great, simultaneously great and bad, which is like, man, I think that in itself is a hard thing to do. But if you're, if you're a writer and a director who are like, Hey, we're going to make a movie that's awful, but at the same time, great. Your first casting call is Nick Cage. Like that's what, that's what he does. Well, yeah, he was in the rock. Uh-huh. Same producers is, um,
01:31:31
Speaker
That's a good one. Yeah. But again, when's the last time you seen the rock? Uh, within a year. Oh, okay. But once last time I seen the rock pre, like the preview to that movie, never. Oh, okay. I guess that's the whole point of this is to watch movies we really like and then realize, Oh, this is not good. But even, but what if it's an also just check the trailers? Cause what, what we're going to see in, cause man, the whole, the like,
01:31:58
Speaker
What drives this is movie movie previews now are awesome. Well, they turn into music videos. They've got, they're also readily available on YouTube. Yeah. What was the movie preview for gone in 60 seconds? Oh, I was watching another movie. Yeah. And holy So the movie preview, it's got to stand out so much that I remember it after watching two hours of another movie. Right. Right.
01:32:26
Speaker
I don't know if it did it. I'm curious. Like we got to do some research next time to see when it previewed and what movies it previewed on. But at this point in life, I was going for like actors. What was Nick Cage before it was face off. All I'm going to go watch face off. Nick. I'm going to go watch Nick Cage not gone in 60 seconds. Yeah. But there also wasn't. I feel like he just didn't have much else to do.
01:32:52
Speaker
Oh, in it no. Right. So like yeah every Friday, you just go to the theater and look in the newspaper or call for for for film. And or no, you can do my dad's move. Let's just go to the theater. Yeah. No, we see what's going on next. Yeah, we would do that for sure. Yeah. And you'd like because everything would have kind of staggered show times. You'd be like, I don't want to see whatever the that movie is. I could probably do that one. It starts in 30 minutes. All right. Let's do that one.
01:33:20
Speaker
Right. Yeah. Yeah. and Dick around in the arcade for sure. Well, how do we close this thing out? Well, I don't know. We have a barbecue or go to a It's like all great movies. Uh, yeah. I guess that's the inaugural episode, empty inaugural episode of trailer.
01:33:44
Speaker
Just met her. Ew. That was gone in 60 seconds. If you haven't seen it in a while, go watch it. If you haven't seen the preview, watch preview first, then watch the movie and you can see the huge glaring gap in what you're totally unprepared for. But maybe that's part of the allure. You bait them in and you leave like the good Uh, well actually they gave you the last 30 minutes in the trailer. No.
01:34:10
Speaker
last 29 minutes. Yeah. All right. Until next time. Bye.