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022 - Homecoming: From Marymount to Military S&C w/ Coach Jo
89 Plays13 days ago
Tex returns to his alma mater, Marymount University's weight room with Coach Johannah Zabal, Army strength and conditioning specialist and Director of Sports Performance for Soldiers to Sidelines. Coach Jo shares her journey from collegiate athlete to becoming one of the military's most respected performance coaches, offering invaluable insights on developing both tactical and athletic excellence.
Through candid conversation, they explore how the constraints and challenges faced as young athletes and coaches shaped our professional philosophies. Jo breaks down her personal rules for success that have guided her from campus to military training grounds, while sharing practical wisdom on building resilient athletes and leaders.
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Transcript
The Journey of Mastery and Authenticity
00:00:00
Speaker
evolution of learning, we're not ever going to be masters at anything, right? But what we can do is keep striving towards mastery. So number one is I don't know yet. Love it. Number two.
00:00:12
Speaker
too. I'm writing these down. You write them down. That's fine. Oh, you're numbering them too. Love it. Elite. I love numbered lists. Number two is be honest with yourself and others. Think we want something or we think we should want something, right? Shoulding on ourselves because of everyone else having it or everyone else doing it or this being someone's path. And then we go, okay, well, yeah, I want that too. Or i I can be like that or I want to be like that. And you're just totally,
00:00:42
Speaker
dishonoring who you are at your core, right? And I've told people this before, like, you are the only you. Only you can offer what you can offer to the world. Only you can. I can never do it for you. Only you can. And that's beautiful. And if you don't, we're missing out.
Leadership and Personal Growth
00:01:04
Speaker
Welcome to the Captains and Coaches Podcast. We explore the art and science of leadership through the lens of athletics and beyond. I'm your host, Tex McQuilken, and today we're coming at you to a very special place, my alma mater, Marymount University in Arlington, Virginia, where I'm joined by my classmate and kindred spirit and strength, Coach Johanna Zabal. Coach Jo is currently crushing it as a strength and conditioning specialist for the Army at Fort Liberty. And she also serves as the director of sports performance for the group Soldiers to Sidelines. We dive deep into our shared journey from athletes to sport coaches both at Marymount and explore the path from m MU to becoming leaders in the industry. Our conversation covers everything from tactical training to the power of constraints in building resilient athletes and coaches.
00:01:54
Speaker
Plus, you'll want to stay tuned for Coach Joe's personal rules to live by. Recording this episode in our old college weight room hit a little different. And watching Coach Joe's evolution from team leader at MU to becoming one of the leaders in the field has been nothing short of inspiring. With that, let's hand it off to Coach Joe, ready, ready, and rake.
00:02:20
Speaker
Journaling live, Nana McLaughlin. Welcome to the Captains & Coaches podcast with Coach Joe, Marymount University, live on campus, where we, I mean, we grew up. This is where we started. We cut our teeth here. We cut our teeth here. That's a good way to put it. In this very fitness center. In this very, don't call it a weight room. Don't call it a weight room. It's a fitness center. And we're here. Yes.
00:02:51
Speaker
The, I mean, I think it's amazing that we, we were both, uh, health science majors. We started our coaching careers here. So we have a lot of parallel careers and then spend a lot of time together on campus and then in conference, I shall say. Yes. In the profession. I feel like in the profession, in conferences where we really like solidified our friendship, right?
00:03:19
Speaker
Yeah, we were running in different circles on campus while still in class together and striving for perfection in our sporting arena. Different social circles, but then, yeah.
00:03:32
Speaker
found each other through performance, which is awesome. Yes. Where we, I mean at Marymount at the time, we didn't have a lot of performance driven athletes, a performance center with a Smith machine, some light dumbbells. And then I helped one of our assistant coaches on the lacrosse team steal a squat rack from the high school he was coaching at and put it in the weight room. Yes.
00:03:58
Speaker
Maybe. i't I didn't ask any questions. I was 18 and just hungry to put some weight on my back. Stolen or not? and Not. Yet here we are. So your your journey to Marymount and and the athletic career didn't start here, but it helped mold and shape and then turn you into the coach you are today. So let's speak to transferring to Marymount, entering into a team after a year with another squad and then setting yourself up for success here and just kick the doors in. Yeah, so I actually came from a JUCO school, so NJCAA. JUCO
Challenges in College Sports
00:04:34
Speaker
Bandit. CCBC, Community College of Baltimore County at Catonsville, um up in Baltimore County. um Two years there, actually. So I only played here for two years. And you know what's interesting is
00:04:50
Speaker
um it I did take a year off in between as well because i didn't know I still didn't know what I wanted to do when I grew up. I didn't know what I wanted to major in still. um I had a very general um associate's degree from that JUCO school and I was like, I don't know what I want to do. And then I found exercise science.
00:05:11
Speaker
um In that year off, all I did was work out, work at a gym, do that kind of thing. So I was like, all right, maybe this is what I want to do. um And so found exercise science programs in the Northern Virginia area and found Marymount and a pretty successful volleyball team that was kind of in a rebuilding year, but on their way up.
00:05:30
Speaker
you get the opportunity to hang out with the team before choosing or just saw the school, saw the major. Let's rock and roll. It was both. um Saw the school, saw the major. I was pretty set on coming. I did like a day visited and stayed the night um and, you know, met some of the girls. I barely remember that trip. Barely remember it.
00:05:51
Speaker
in a very sober way. No, it was just like, that's like out of my mind, I don't know. We probably just had lunch in the calf or something and then it was like out. Yeah, saw the campus, was it? And the small, wonderful little hill that we have here. We did a tour. Yeah, we did a tour. What did you do for the rest of the 58 minutes of the hour? Yeah, we walked up the hill and we were done.
00:06:17
Speaker
it Yeah, we we kid. It's got a nice chapel. Yeah. It's a small, intimate feel campus. Which forces us to come together as a team. Once a saint, always a saint, as they say. That's right. Yes. so So transfer portal in the world of athletics is blowing up. but And I have a lot of friends in the strength and conditioning and the college sport realm. And one of the things that they're always talking about is even though this player is on our team,
00:06:52
Speaker
It's almost I'm recruiting this person every single day to stay. We grew up in a different time where, I mean, coaches can push, they can stress in the aim that we're going to put pressure on you to turn all you lumps of coal into diamonds. Right. So speak to us about just the, the opportunity that stress provided to bring you and your team together. Like I said, when I got there, it was sort of like this rebuilding year. We brought in a lot of people. There were a lot of transfers my year as well. We had three.
00:07:22
Speaker
juniors that were transferred in, at at me being one of them. And um all of us ended up playing starting um that year and the next year. And so, you know, it was interesting, though, because in terms of like a leadership or a captain position or anything like that, like in high school, I was always a captain at my JUCO.
Lessons in Leadership and Motivation
00:07:44
Speaker
I was always a captain. And then I came in.
00:07:48
Speaker
way too hot at Marymount. And i'll to I will own that. And it wasn't it wasn't a good thing. it's It's one of those things where I'm like, wow, I started coaching scarring people as a player. As a player. As a player. um And so you know we've talked about coaching scars before. They're these things that you just kind of regret the things that you did as a coach. You either said something to a kid or did something that you kind of like stepped out of your values and character and you're like, man, I shouldn't have done that.
00:08:17
Speaker
And I maybe affected that kid in a negative way for life, maybe. um Or, you know, they look back at me not fondly. um Because we all have those, right? We have coaches who have given us coaching scars, leaders, bosses, whatever. um And so what I was saying was, you know, I came in like,
00:08:36
Speaker
this is how it's gonna be, we're gonna be, I was there, I was gung-ho and it was not good. Coach Joe. I know, so at the time, so but this is a lesson and it's funny because when I was thinking about this and like you know thinking about what we were gonna talk about, I was like, oh man, I was awful. I was so bad coming in um because I knew, like I was on championship teams before, we were district, conference, whatever, high school and JUCO.
00:09:02
Speaker
And JUKA, we were nationally ranked. And so it was like, I know what it takes to be successful. So I want to bring that. Like, that was my intention, but that is not how it was received because I was the new girl. And like,
00:09:18
Speaker
they The vibes were very different. The team was very different than the teams I'd been on before. And I was like, no, no, no, we're going to do this because this is what works. And um it wasn't received well. And so um I had to really check myself and kind of eat a slice of humble pie and be like, hey, you're not going to have the same role that you did.
00:09:41
Speaker
on the previous collegiate and high school teams that you had. And you're going to have to figure out where that is. And then I just worked my butt off to be I was a utility player at Marymount. I came in as a libero slash defensive specialists, I ended up playing right side, I ended up playing outside. I played, I probably swung middle for like a rotation. I was very much a defensive player. And then when our setter went down, I set for a few games. So played every single position at Marymount. And I just was happy to do that, right? And like work really hard to do that and earn my spot.
00:10:22
Speaker
But referencing the portal, like that was all intrinsic sort of motivation. Bethann and I talk, because obviously Bethann, the head coach, um I coached with her for 11 years after I played. And she was like, I always loved your team because you all held each other accountable. like She never stepped in when I was being too much. The girls did. Right.
00:10:47
Speaker
And then the girl like one of the girls had a talk with me and was like, hey, people aren't receiving this super well. And I was like, oh. because I was like totally blinded to my own behavior at the time. Well, self-awareness in that 18 to 22 college age, it's it's almost non-existent. Right. And you're... So somebody for the first time is holding up a mirror. Yes. That's tough. Yeah. So for teaching athletes that, sometimes on the sidelines and
00:11:20
Speaker
This is tough for for me to do, but I have to context and frame it. i Essentially, I treat them like they're treating the other kids for a snippet, and then it asks them, how did that feel? How did they like that? So then it's, okay, well, here's why I did that, because I got to be quick to to paint that picture in the lesson.
00:11:40
Speaker
It can't be more than that, and it has to be followed by the lesson. and then But I i've even coached at the college level, and we're kids, and i i I'd miss the opportunity to do that. I just tell them, hey, this is not receiving well, but they're they're no better. Well, they should be working harder. Or they should be. They should. They got a case of the shoulds. Don't shit on yourself. No. There's a lot to unpack there.
00:12:09
Speaker
and I mean, that that conversation, I feel, led to responsibility. So you became aware. Yes. And then now you took on more responsibility with the team. Speak to us about that ownership that you felt now. First of all, I felt the ownership of failure, right? So... No shame at a Catholic school. Sorry. Not allowed. Okay. However, felt that failure, right? And I was like, man, okay.
00:12:37
Speaker
what am I going to do about this? And like for a while I was a little bit like, you know, go outside, lay in the grass and and feel it all and sad, sad. But then I was like, okay, what do I need to do to remedy this?
00:12:52
Speaker
I can't remember if I did apologize and that's a shame. um However, um I did turn around my behavior and start to be like, okay, what does the team look like? Which is such a has been such a life lesson for me in every environment that I step into, right? Whether it's a um coaching situation, a new job in any realm,
00:13:19
Speaker
right? um Something that you're attending a conference, a course, you know, whatever it is, reading the room first, seeing where you fit in, seeing where you can contribute, seeing where like, hey, you're not welcome here, seeing, you know, or your opinions aren't welcome here. um And seeing like what you, what you're actually bringing value to versus like your ego going, I know this and I know that, so I'm going to push it on you.
00:13:50
Speaker
Um, which is like very rarely well-received, right? So just kind of feeling out the room, feeling out the situation and going, where do I fit in? Where can I contribute in humility and work towards that and.
00:14:08
Speaker
sit back if if that's nowhere. You're speaking to the the the natural development of of leadership. So it starts with self-awareness, then we get into social awareness. So that is that reading the room and it's also reading on another person how your cues, your directions are impacting them. If we're telling them what we feel and then they're They're curling up, contracting the body language. Okay. Now I'm becoming aware of that yeah versus versus me as a coach getting, Oh, they should. Uh, and then the progression there is self-management. Now, even though you may feel a particular way about a particular player or athlete or administration or anybody now, how do you approach that?
00:14:58
Speaker
What's your tonality? What's your body language? What's your ah speed at which you're speaking? So all these different things, now we get into that, because sometimes low self-awareness, low self-management, and now you're blowing up at the wrong people and causing more of a problem, right especially for the team dynamics. Yes, that's one of those things where I think self-awareness and like learning those lessons quickly Right. So the more you fight that lesson, the slower that you're going to learn it. Right. So when someone does that and holds that mirror up to you and you're like, no, that's not what I look like. Right. Your mirror is broken. Something's wrong with whatever. Right. And it's you, it's your problem. It's whatever. Um, that just like pushes your growth. Right. And so you're just not accepting it. You're not actually,
00:15:55
Speaker
taking that look in the mirror and really being honest with yourself, right? um And being like, oh, this is what I look like. This is how people are perceiving me more importantly, right? And how I'm having an effect on them.
00:16:12
Speaker
I think that's an important thing to highlight. it's not ah I'm not worried about what other people are thinking about me right in the the social sense. right it's How are people perceiving me? right If I feel and view myself, if I perceive myself as a leader, am am I the only one walking down the road? ah right Or is the team coming with me? right Or are they only coming with me because they have to? right So there are those leadership positions right where You're just fallen told timeout. What if I told you the path to transformation isn't about rigid schedules and crushing yourself daily in the gym. It's about moving with purpose and intention at captains and coaches. We understand that true leadership starts with embodiment. When you look the part, you lead the part.
00:16:58
Speaker
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Speaker
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00:17:42
Speaker
and get started today. And now back to the show. Ready, ready, and ready. Exactly. And so people are having to follow you because they have no other choice um or because you are a good leader and they are motivated to do that. You're working with a lot of awesome military folks now. So speak to us about some of the the leadership growth lessons that you experienced as a collegiate athlete that you still aim to hand off to professionals now that you learned way back when.
00:18:12
Speaker
I think I would still take it back to that self-awareness because anything that you're trying to do well, you're never going to master it. right None of us are going to be perfect. None of us are ever going to master something. but as long as we're trying all the time to do that, that's where mastery comes from, right? So I'm always going to be trying to create more self-awareness, understand myself better in this situation, in that situation, in this circumstance. Oh, new circumstance. Who am I in this situation? And hopefully, my values and beliefs and you know the big fundamentals from my life, those are the things that shine through and I'm always you know living in integrity as the same.
00:18:56
Speaker
type of person, but how do I react to you know this situation? um And like you know imparting that in the people that I work with. And you know again, like you can't make you can't push things on people. You can't make people want what you want. You can't make people want to do something that they don't inherently want to do without giving them a little bit more of a reason.
00:19:21
Speaker
an understanding of why, um and then tying it to their why, right? Like, what do you want for your life? What do you want for your training? What do you want for your leadership? Oh, you want that? Let me tell you, this is a great way to do that. It's not the way, it's a way, and this is a way that I'm pretty confident I can show you how to do successfully.
00:19:44
Speaker
and so If you want, right. And especially like with the guys that I work with, there's a lot of big boy rules going on. Like they don't have to actually use me. It's not a mandatory program. Right. So as a strength and conditioning coach, if they're coming to me, they actually want to be using me for the most part, like using the resource. And then I always say that anybody coming to me is coming to me in vulnerability. And even if they're.
00:20:15
Speaker
Admitting that or not, if you're asking for help or a resource, you are in a vulnerable position, right? And so I want to honor that and say, absolutely, how can I help you? What do you want? What do you want to get out of this exchange? And how can I facilitate that in the best way?
00:20:36
Speaker
You're an amazing resource for those guys. Reflecting on our time, this is what we call a transition in ah in in the game. A little segue. A segue. We didn't have a lot of resources at our fingertips here. So being in the health sciences, it was not a lot of sports performance that we were being educated on. It was more in eat this, not that.
00:21:00
Speaker
A little corporate wellness. Corporate wellness. And we were enthusiasts of the performance of, well, eat that, okay, but then how do I improve my bench press? Maybe that's just me. So now speak to us about your journey through that health field, but then aiming to then connect and find a passion for performance.
00:21:22
Speaker
We talk about this all the time, like you and I didn't have strength and conditioning coaches. Um, I didn't even really know that that was like a thing, right? And like 2000, you know, two to 2007, whenever I was in college, it's like,
00:21:36
Speaker
Um, I knew there were like personal trainers. I knew there were things like that, but like someone who was actually like a sports performance coach that was literally dedicated to making someone better at their sport in like just the physical domain overall. And, um, so yeah, and you and I being D three, like we didn't have that. We didn't have the resources. We literally had a fitness center, like you said, with a Smith machine and a few light dumbbells and, um,
00:22:06
Speaker
you know So I think that like not having a lot of those resources at the time, um it helps. like It helps you create more of a foundation of like where can we find performance from you know just in our everyday. And like I don't know about you, but like when I was a kid, I was outside. right And I understand that there are Things that, you know, prevent that from happening these days. However, I was biking, skateboarding, rollerblading, roller skating, anything with wheels, right? Making ramps with my brothers, jumping off them, running, jumping, climbing fences, doing all these things. And then I played soccer, softball, basketball and volleyball in like middle school and high school, right? So I wasn't like just this one sport athlete. So I had this sort of like physical literacy that spanned multiple sports.
00:23:02
Speaker
and all of these things where, you know, now, even in like one of the most decked out weight rooms in the army, right, I have anything that I want at my fingertips in terms of resources and equipment and things like that. However, I'm still like, hey, yeah, but did you move in the frontal plane today, bro? You know, and so I teach an agility class and I'm like, this is something that like,
00:23:32
Speaker
we don't need equipment for. I might need a cone to be like, go to that, you know, stop there. It's a nice cone. It's very nice. um And so, you know, have a couple cones or or not, and just my voice and my ability to coach and get people increasing their physical literacy so that when they are, and I always kind of give this speech, it's like, hey,
00:23:57
Speaker
you guys get hurt and bad things happen when you guys get outside of the sagittal plane because all you do is train in the sagittal plane. So why don't we introduce some frontal plane and some transverse plane not at speed, not under load, and not in a reactionary environment. So that when you are at speed, are under load, and having to react to things, your body understands that we've been here before, and it's cool. We're gonna be okay. And it doesn't react in some crazy way that then leads to injury. And so, like again, like coming back to like being that resource, I think me just starting off with like nothing,
00:24:40
Speaker
And then having to train 60 man lacrosse teams, 60 man baseball teams ah within a span of two hours and making just making sure people don't die really is the main focus at that point in the weight room. um you know That foundation of like not having much to having kind of whatever I need at my disposal, sometimes, ah you know, i I think it always helps you become a better coach because you're using your voice, you're using your own body or a cone to be like, this is how we're going to do this and this is how we're going to get better. Yeah. We're eliminating all excuses right for them too. Yeah. You don't need anything. You don't need anything to still find stress to attack what you need. The, which I mean,
00:25:31
Speaker
This weight room that we're in now is much more beautiful than the experience that we got to take on. It was probably like 15 treadmills in here way back. Yeah, that whole wall. Just the whole room we're sitting in. Yes, was just treadmills. I think there might've been treadmills over there, but for sure that whole wall back there was long. I know, you can never have a note. That's true. That's true. They were always all being used. By the student body because this was a shared space. And the faculty and alumni. And alumni?
00:26:01
Speaker
Oh, yeah. All student body, faculty, full and part-time, and alumni. What do you use this space? Probably just randos. Yes. Sneaking in. There were like senior citizens in here using the weight room whilst I had 60 lacrosse guys banging weights in here. And I would have to be like, oh, sir. OK. Are you OK? OK. Just please steer clear of this. OK. Thank you.
00:26:32
Speaker
Very interesting. Let's will lead us to that point. So we both had in common where we became sport coaches for the teams that we were coaching, and then taking on strength and conditioning responsibilities for those teams, because again, no strength and conditioning coach here, but then we're stepping into, you're taking on now, strength and conditioning responsibilities as a professional volleyball coach, and then stepping into D3 strength coach.
Coaching Techniques and Communication
00:27:00
Speaker
that looked like sitting down with each of the sport coaches and saying, Hey, this is what this can look like. What do you think you need? And some of them were just like, Oh no, I don't think I need anything, you know, or, um, yeah, I guess we, you know, I had some leading questions where I was like,
00:27:18
Speaker
What injuries do you see a lot of? um Where do you think you could be better? like Are you slow? Are you you know not jumping as high as you'd like to? Those types of things. And um so I just sat down and had that conversation with every sport coach that was interested because it was, again, like they could use a resource, yeah or they could not.
00:27:40
Speaker
um Which was fine because I ended out with like working with 12 teams um of the 17, I think, teams that were at the university at the time. And that was enough for me. Yeah. ah Because I didn't have an assistant or anything. Who needs an assistant? I mean, I did need an assistant. um That was a lot of work. Yeah. And there's almost these i mean different scales where certain Division III schools have staffs.
00:28:09
Speaker
certain Division III schools have a coach, a strength and conditioning coach, and some had nothing. It's almost like we we were in that nothing, and then you took on all the responsibilities of the individual. Showed up. So it's almost interesting. I find that if a school usually has a football team, then they get a Division III school as a football team, then they get the the staff experience. Everything else is Wild Wild West. Correct.
00:28:36
Speaker
where And I value it as an athlete where we were just doing where the hell we wanted to and calling it performance training. I made so many mistakes. So many bicep curls. Oh yeah. So many bicep. I had buddies that were playing University of Texas football and they would just email me coach men's workouts. Oh, that's awesome. So then I was going through all that stuff and then just arm wrestling teammates in there. But guess what?
00:29:04
Speaker
There's these programs that are built for Vince Young, and then there's us. Zero training age athletes. Zero training age. And just, ah, we need a little bit more bench press in here. yeah yes And bicep curls. And bicep curls. So, yeah. ah Made a lot of mistakes that definitely needed a mentor earlier in this space, but I did luck out. Just the personal training job I had in college,
00:29:34
Speaker
the Justin Cavanaugh, who's a wonderful sports performing coach, and then Fairfax Hackley, who was like ah Jack LaLanne's number two. They were just training out of this gym, which is basically the poor man's golds gym. And then, I guess, I don't know.
00:29:52
Speaker
took the time for whatever reason to help guide and help me understand. And then really introduce this concept of performance versus like working out or just just lifting weights. right So yeah, definitely interesting seeds planted there for yeah i mean the whole smorgasbord. And they've they've been crucial in my professional career as well.
00:30:14
Speaker
And I even think some of our athletic trainers, right? Like Dean Bryan. Dino. Dino and Orlando James, I don't know. You were around for Orlando? He was with our squad. We were his spring team. He gave him a run for his money. Yeah, he was very lifted weights and all this stuff. Like first time I did banded squats was with him. And so just... Showing an interest in it right and then like finding people who had a similar interest in being like, what are you doing? What is this? And so yeah, I was like, oh yeah Dean I got a lot of funny Dean stories. I just had a Vietnam flashback He had some contraption of me running like resisted running. Mm-hmm
00:31:05
Speaker
And then the freaking band broke. Oh, so I had this moment onto your back. Yeah. Yeah. I had this moment of like, Oh my God, I feel so fast. And then whip just, I mean, butt, calf, back, all of it, like the carabiner, like I had to take all of that. The carabiner. Yeah. Dean. So if you're listening,
00:31:28
Speaker
Still scarred. Thanks. Hashtag coaching scars. Literally. Literal scars on my body. Yeah. And I mean, as an athletic trainer, I don't rival their hours. No. At all. So many thanks to all athletic trainers out there. Yes, thank you. Elizabeth Shouts. Oh, man. Shouts to Elizabeth.
00:31:46
Speaker
Yeah. The goat. She was the best. Yeah. ah Sorry, Dean. Sorry, Dean. I'm not sorry. Kidding. the So now speak to us. We had a lot of constraints here as athletes. We had constraints as coaches here. But ultimately, I i find that invaluable and now can accomplish so much with so little. just Speak to us about the value of constraints and how long did it take you to to truly value it, where it felt like, and added stress when we're in the moment, but really opened up our, our, our, our mind to get creative with movement later on in our careers. There's so many moments like that, um, where I recognize that. So one that I've talked with you about before previously, probably on a podcast or maybe I'm not sure if that was Jim on good athlete, but we, um,
00:32:44
Speaker
I had ah had a guy, um Kenny Carrington, who was one of my early you know coaching mentors who took things away from me in terms of like, ah you can't talk during this session while you're coaching. Demos only. And you need to command a room without your voice. Can you do it? And so he'd take us through a whole coaching session, literally just pointing, pointing at his eyes, looking at the girls like, hey,
00:33:10
Speaker
You need to go there. You need to go there. You need to go there. But he's saying all that without his voice. He's using very demonstrative hand gestures, using his eye contact, all this stuff, and using his demonstrations, right? And he took them through an entire speed session, ah like a women's across team, through an entire speed session, no voice. And then he's like, you're doing the next one, Joe.
00:33:33
Speaker
So then the next session comes up, I do it, no voice. And we're just both standing there, complete silence. And it was almost kind of a game for the the athletes, but it was also like we had their undivided attention because they knew that they couldn't just like look away and hear something. They were going to need to pay attention. um And so that was a cool way of, cause you can still do that in a session where you're using your voice, just in the middle of something,
00:34:03
Speaker
Give them a look. Long pause. Give them the look. And they're like, oh, this is important, right? Any type of intonation like that can grab you know, the consumer, who whoever you're talking to, right? um And then we did other sessions where he was like, okay, now you can only use your voice. You cannot do demos, put your hands away, put your hands in your pockets whole time, no demos, and you have to be able to concisely describe what you're trying to get your athletes to do without using your body to show them, or so even someone else's, right? Or you could use someone else's, right? But you just had to talk them through it and be like, hey, come stand over here.
00:34:42
Speaker
feet shoulder width apart, bend it, whatever. So that those two skills just kind of siloed then were, you know, made better, right? By just taking them out and and like singling them out. right um That was a moment for me where I was like, man, you can do so much with so little. um And then fast forward to like three years ago when um the unit I work for moves into this gigantic building, you know wonderful, wonderful resources, and sometimes I'm like,
00:35:22
Speaker
I don't take it for granted. I love the building. It's a very nice, nice building. But then other times I'm like, man, I do wish like I just had a squat rack, you know, or, or I do miss those days where like, you know, guys wanted to come in and just like bang weights. Cause you know, that's all there was to do. There weren't all these fancy machines or things like that. So it's like, uh, it's been a development of realization in terms of like what resources look like. And then ultimately like.
00:35:53
Speaker
you can see in any performance facility, no matter how nice or how not nice it is, there's a difference in staffing, right? So like, if you have a really good coach, it kind of doesn't matter, right? Or if you have a really bad coach, it kind of doesn't matter, right? What you have around you, you can have the best facility, coach who doesn't care, isn't putting anything, you know, into his work, blah, blah, blah.
00:36:22
Speaker
Who cares about how nice the facility is, right? A coach who cares, who knows what they're doing, uses what little resources they have and in a non-resourced facility, and that could be one of the best experiences an athlete can have. Yeah, and it's it's aiming to then train their their attitude and their behavior towards that stuff as well.
00:36:49
Speaker
The athletes. The athletes, forgive me. So the coach helping shape that behavior as, ah. complaining, oh, we don't have this, so then we have to do this. So framing it as, hey, we're taking away that today, because I know you're gonna go on the road, and then we we we're gonna still train hard when you're on that two week trip coming up this spring. So aiming to help frame it that way, again, just the as much as we are in the realm of body and performance, it's almost behavior and mindset is gonna carry on when their career is over.
00:37:25
Speaker
Absolutely. and And how to take on these constraints and challenges. ah Yeah, ah just with ours, I didn't know any different, so there was no complaining. so Right. Okay. I was like, cool, a dumbbell? Yeah. Sick. Oh my God. This is amazing. they These go up past 50. Right. um That's better than a hotel gym. I know. ah Amazing.
00:37:48
Speaker
i so I've stayed particularly close to Division III athletics just because I valued what we had so much.
Coaching Careers and Impact
00:37:58
Speaker
And the the evolution of strengthening and conditioning with this has been awesome to see, especially because more and more schools are are seeing it as a benefit. And it's not that coach that looks around like, why do I need that? i' I've survived 20 years of my career without that I don't need.
00:38:17
Speaker
So I'm um seeing a rise in Division III athletics and I'm happy for it. yeah ah So there are some coaches that are doing great things out there. And I want to send value to that because my coaching career started Division III. A lot of your coaching career, whether it was but sport and strength, started Division III. So kids getting into the field. Because training and conditioning is now a major. It blows my mind.
00:38:44
Speaker
people are going to school for this. There are, uh, you still need to learn how to coach. I don't care if you've got a degree or not. Say that again. You still got to learn how to coach. I don't care if you've got a degree or not a repeater. So division three coaching, yeah that is where you can make your bones, find your voice, oh man see where you can connect with kids. Cause that takes reps.
00:39:08
Speaker
So much value in it. You may have aced all of your exams, but can you just connect with a person on an individual level? Right. Can you connect with a team on a team level? Yeah. Because that's different than the one on one. So there are layers to this and I value D3 to actually learn how to coach.
00:39:26
Speaker
Yeah. And like that, you know, I value that so much too from like, from what I said earlier in terms of like, okay, I've got 60 boys, 18 to 22 year olds in a weight room. That is you got, you can't see it here, but there's like a wall in between the squat rack area and the dumbbell area. So like you don't always, you're not always all able to have eyes on everyone. And so just,
00:39:55
Speaker
being able to manage space, people, equipment, and also command the attention of 30 to 60 people at a time, um organize them so they're not hitting each other because they are in their own worlds. I've seen dudes like this far from concussion.
00:40:15
Speaker
multiple times where I'm like, did you not see that barbell? You don't care. What barbell? Yeah, you don't care. I'm in a weight room. Like it just wild where I'm like grabbing somebody by like their collar and yanking them out of the way. of your life Yes. Catching a dumbbell before it hits their foot. Correct. Cause they rested it on a incline bench and it's like gravity doesn't work that way. So good. So good. Gravity does work that way. It works the same way is all the time. Right. Yeah. yeah So anyways, it just, I think it's invaluable to have had all of that. And I always say like, if you want to learn how to coach, like coach kids, coach seven-year-olds, coach, you know, coach people who like don't, A, they're uninitiated. That is where you cut your teeth coaching, right? Uninitiated audience where they're like, what are you even talking about? What's a what's my knee? What do you mean lift my knee, right?
00:41:11
Speaker
where you go to at the professional level and you're not really coaching anymore, you're just managing, right? You're managing, are you okay? Don't get injured. Like, cool, cool, cool. You feel good? All right, you want to feel like, okay, what do you want to do today? Right? Versus like, as, you know, a coach of seven year olds, middle school, there's a different like attention span and culture in every different age group that you go to.
00:41:40
Speaker
And so those types of things, getting eyes on as many different types of athletes, and we'll put athletes and quotations for some people too, like just different types of movers, um different sports, all of the things. um There's something that's so valuable about that so that when you see any type of mover athlete person, right, ambulating their body, you're like, oh, okay, I've seen this before, or I can see that that's not quite right, and I can fix it.
00:42:16
Speaker
And learn that all the programs that work for you are not necessarily going to work for this group of people. So that's D3, baby. Learn how to coach. ah Get a side hustle for one, two, three years that you're going to live there.
00:42:33
Speaker
yeah and then you'll need a take it into whatever profession or aspect or realm of coaching, whether it's tactical, ah collegiate strength, to conditioning private. It's all fun if you're finding people that are willing to to to work with you. um So, does just so many stories. and I've injured a few kids that I've gone down wormholes now and to understand certain injuries beyond ah the normal understanding and can put people in a position to and Avoid that same mistake that I made. Yeah. Well, it's it's always learning. It's always mastery further and further Yeah, I'm just having flashbacks here I've heard you say once hmm dangerous are important
00:43:20
Speaker
but they mean something different to everyone. here So that that's a powerful quote amongst many from you, Coach Joe, that I've written down. So share us what that quote means and how you aim to embody and live that through your actions. One of the reasons, right, is going back to those coaching scars, right? So I could say something and use a type of language or use you know, be a little bit more aggressive or something, maybe with this athlete. And that's like, what's going to motivate them? That is what they needed to hear. That's what they want to hear. um And then with this athlete, it's going to hurt them emotionally. And those are the types of coaching scars that I want to steer very clear of. Right. So like understanding who your audience is, obviously, and that could be audience of one, it could be audience of many, depending on the situation.
00:44:14
Speaker
um and and making sure that when you are saying words, you're understanding that each word matters, right? Our words absolutely matter. And what we're saying to people absolutely matters. A lot of times now i'm I've been leaning more towards the side of just like being really positive, being really, like still realistic. um And I work in a tactical setting. So there's a lot of roasting and things like that, which, you know, the guys expect, but like, um but still bringing it back to like, hey,
00:44:50
Speaker
Like, this is what you could be doing better. this is you know These are the things that you need to work on. And this is what you're doing really well. um But yeah, like, words are drugs. They do they they hit our like neurology in a certain way, and it changes us, right? It physically changes our brain the way that like we hear words, making sure that you know that it is important what you say, how you say it, and who you're saying it to.
00:45:19
Speaker
Yeah, I'm finding but working at the high school level and spending a lot of time there and coaching coaches about the high school level. There is an interesting aspect where they want to be coached a certain way and me just knowing the long-term ramifications of that style of leadership. So it's almost with certain individuals helping understand the power of words and what they're saying or how they want to be coached, that's going to lead them down a a dark path.
00:45:49
Speaker
So helping them understand where. how you communicate to yourself is almost as important to how you're leading others. So it's been an interesting dynamic and exploration with this current ah generation of athlete at the high school level I'm working with. Yeah. And which I will say I know nothing about. Like I'm so far removed from high school athletes and even almost collegiate athletes at this point. Like um it's times are changing, you know? so
00:46:20
Speaker
um And i think I think even more so with the messages that kids are getting on social media, um with the messaging and the bullying and things like that that are happening right um in school or whatever. like We get to be, we get the honor of being um you know a positive,
00:46:43
Speaker
influence in their life. And so again, those words are going to be really important. um And we have an opportunity to affect these kids in a good way. um So again, I think that's an honor. And I think coaches should not take that lightly. No, not at all. And don't don't look down on yourself by the position you're in, because maybe they want to go to a different level.
00:47:06
Speaker
Well, you are here now, wherever you are, so that that matters. And then i'll I'll add to that, I've spent a lot of time in the the tip of the spear tactical space, I'll call it. And a lot of those individuals, they are battling perceptions, self-perceptions up top. Now imagine if they had the influence of a coach 10, 12, 15 years earlier when they were at the high school level.
00:47:31
Speaker
So it's an opportunity, what I'm seeing now, I know the ramifications. right if If that truly is a goal that they want to go succeed or even they just want to enter into college or the business world, a lot of this will catch up to them. So aiming to get ahead of that before it becomes ah toxic for a team is or even the individual themselves. Absolutely.
00:47:56
Speaker
Yeah, last high school coach, last line of defense. That's how I'm looking at it before you just kick all these guys out. Send them off into the world. Yes. In line with the actions matching your words, you had a knee injury in 2020. And so from a coaching perspective, you work with a lot of athletes who have new knees or new shoulders, new somethings, and we can speak to mindset, but now you had the opportunity to live it. Right.
00:48:26
Speaker
So, I mean, you were in COVID, you were taking on these challenges. So walk us through the but the, I mean, the daily mental practices that you took on to get to a position where now you're still squatting, cleaning and doing all the stuff you love.
00:48:41
Speaker
Honestly, I can't take credit for any of you know the mental strategies um that I ended up employing during that time. So I tore my ACL, two weeks later COVID hit, um wasn't able to get in for surgery for months.
00:48:58
Speaker
I wasn't able to get into PT, so I was like kind of on my own hitting up friends, like, what do I need to do for this thing? I was non-ambulatory for like a couple of days while everyone's like, ah, COVID, taking my mental health walks. And I was like on the couch just like wasting away. right like I don't know what to do.
00:49:16
Speaker
And, you know, I was having I was having a little like a PTS in terms of like, I'd close my eyes at night and just a retear, retear, retear. And, you know, just a lot of aversion to like ever jumping again, moving that way explosively again.
00:49:34
Speaker
Um, and you know, I was in my head a lot and that time was very isolated, right? So like everyone was, there wasn't a lot of like community. However, luckiest girl in the world. I did have community and that's who I want to thank and credit for my mental health during that time because you, Annette, I mean, Annette was like,
00:49:57
Speaker
We're doing a call every week. We're going to FaceTime and catch up. Um, I was taking, um, a class, like a zoom class with, with some other women, you know, connecting there. Um, all of my tactical strength coach friends like banded together, sent me wine and steaks and made me feel like they were thinking about me. Like I was important, like I mattered. Um, and then some of them gave me some, like, you know, some.
00:50:23
Speaker
Hey, like pull yourself up by your bootstraps talks and was like, yes, you can go, you know, feel sorry for yourself for a little bit. That's cool. Cause this sucks. However, that's not who you are. And so, you know, my journey became like, okay, actually there are so many things that I can do and I'm going to do those things. So I was like doing half kneeling, you know, kettlebell snatches and, and, um,
00:50:49
Speaker
Uh, swings and things like that. And then starting to hinge when I could starting to do all these different things. And I had such a good community of people that like, you know, my old boss like brought a bike to my, uh, stationary bike to my apartment so that I could ride the bike. Um, I had so many friends, old athletes, colleagues.
00:51:11
Speaker
send me things, um, that were like, you know, rehab type stuff that were just helpful. Um, right. You sent me a power dot super sweet. Um, so I could get some, you know, uh, STEM on my quad.
00:51:27
Speaker
Um, that helped with rehab, like just things like that were like almost like a, I always say it's like almost like a posthumous look at my life and who I've affected without having to die. Right. Like I hurt myself and my community just showed up and it was the most amazing thing. So like me being able to do that was.
00:51:51
Speaker
I will say because of the seeds that I had planted in relationships beforehand, sure, but those those are some good seeds because like the people that I had chosen to connect to were such good people that showed up when I needed them um dearly, like needed them dearly. um So yeah, you guys showed up for me. And I will say that like,
00:52:15
Speaker
i I hesitate to say like, if I could do it again, I would. Cause like, right, like if I just had like, my old knee and just never even thought about it because I never thought about it. right Like I was just like, I can do anything, right? And I never worried when I squatted. I never worried when I jumped, right? I was a volleyball player. Um, and so no, wouldn't do it again, but
00:52:47
Speaker
The value of like coming back from that type of injury and the value that I'm able to have because we have so many guys that tear their ACL, so many Achilles, um, on just injuries in general where you're having to come back from a surgery. Um, I know what that feels like. I know exactly what it feels like. I know what they're going through. I was able to very recently, like, um,
00:53:12
Speaker
talk a guy through like basically his whole thing and he goes, I remember you said the first few days and he was like, I just like, I can't imagine, like I can never imagine moving my knee again. And then like, I'm like, dude, the best part of this is like, you get a PR every day, like every single day in rehab, you get a PR. um First time I XYZ post surgery, first time I lifted this much weight, you know, walked this far, like whatever it is, it's a PR and it And if you treat it that way, it feels really good. PRing feels good, right? um And so walking that guy through his ACL surgery and him being like, I remember you said it was going to be like this. I didn't believe you, but like, it was exactly like that. And like, thank you. I i knew what to expect. I knew that I would get through this and that this was impermanent, right? As is everything. Good and bad.
00:54:10
Speaker
Unfortunately, but yes. Write that down. Impermanence. Live journaling. Live journaling. Journaling live. Journaling live. What are we count coining here? Journaling live. Journaling live. I like that. Better than live journaling. We do. ah Journaling live. It's like we're news. Journaling live. Live journaling. Coming to you from the Marymount weight room. Anytime. Journaling live from the Marymount weight room.
00:54:37
Speaker
i we We have many firsts at Marymount, just taking over this whole school. We own this place. This is the first podcast recorded oh yeah in the Marymount Fitness Center. Fitness Center, yes. It's a weight room now. Look, it's got inlays, squat racks. You're welcome.
00:54:59
Speaker
You spend a lot of time with soldiers at work and you get the opportunity to spend a lot of time with soldiers returning from overseas or transitioning into new jobs with your works for for soldiers to sidelines. So speak to us about the the the passion, the connection to that population and what you're aiming to accomplish with your role with those with that team. It's cool because soldiers to sidelines, although it is called soldiers, um it is,
00:55:29
Speaker
Airmen, um you know it's Navy, Air Force, all you know Coast Guard, Space Force, um right Marine Corps, all of that. so I just think it's funny you said Space Force before Marine Corps. I don't know what you got against Marines. I'm sorry. I don't have anything against Marines. I love the Marines. I was just listing things. I'm bad at listing things. I'm sorry. We educate veterans, current service members, military spouses, and Gold Star families in order to help them become coaches in their communities.
00:56:04
Speaker
and um it's been amazing and amazing experience because I think a lot of times veterans are looking for the team after the team, right? And so having them be able to get back connected with a team being a part of something bigger than themselves serving, that's what they're all about, right? That's why generally they joined right the military. And so um connecting them back to that sort of purpose and giving them um resources enable in order to be able to do that well.
00:56:42
Speaker
um and also uncovering and showing them and fostering in them the idea that they already have a lot of that because of their time in service. um And so that's been super cool. I head up the sports performance arm of Soldiers to Sideline. So um any of the like strength and conditioning performance, sports performance based stuff. um And then I also head up the women's arm, ah military women's arms seminars coming up in March.
00:57:09
Speaker
um We just did a live in session, one of the military women's memorial here um in Arlington in October, which was awesome. um And yeah, so it it's been such, it's been just this cool cohesion of, I actually was working with the nonprofit before I was working um for the army.
00:57:30
Speaker
um And just getting into that population, it's been so rewarding. um I love this population. I love working with them. um Such great people with, um you know, a cool vision and motivation for what they want to do. um And being able to assist somebody in doing what they want to do is what I do. So I love it. Coach Jo. I had an opportunity to sit on one of the live sessions for Soldiers to Sidelines for La Crosse.
00:57:59
Speaker
so it's It's every sport out there, which is awesome, and a dedicated team member, and then sessions, whether it's to Zoom or in person for for all aspects, which is awesome. So shout out Harrison Bernstein. yep You're the man. I want to conclude with Coach Joe's list. Oh, man. Remember, I'm so bad at lists. Rules to live by.
00:58:22
Speaker
we'lllip by Yeah, guidance. And I mean, it's been a a lot of life lessons from your time here in this weight room and beyond. But this is, I mean, amazing rules. And the the list seems to be growing every time we're hanging out. So ah I'm excited to learn if there's anything new to share.
00:58:43
Speaker
So unofficially, yes, there is. I'm probably gonna forget it by the time we get to it, but there's always, there were, I think we started with like six, maybe one of the first times we podcasted or or wrapped about this together just offline. Margaritas. Over margs, always over margs. And then seven when we actually had talked about it and I might throw in an eighth. So where's yours? Okay, so number one is, I don't know yet,
00:59:09
Speaker
So number one is that's that's the thing. That's the thing? I don't know yet. Like I want to keep learning. I want to be a lifelong learner, right? And we talk about like Catherine Schultz's book, Being Wrong, right? The pessimistic meta induction from the history of everything, meaning we've been wrong before. We are likely going to be wrong again, right? So my number one rule is hey, you might not know, right? And we know we talk about Dunning-Kruger effect where you like you think you know everything, and then you think you know nothing, and then you kind of think you know something, but you don't know, right? So like this whole evolution of learning, we're not ever gonna be masters at anything, right? But what we can do is keep striving towards mastery. So number one is I don't know yet. Love it. Number two.
00:59:59
Speaker
too. I'm writing these down. You write them down. That's fine. Oh, you're numbering them too. Love it. Elite. I love numbered lists. Number two is be honest with yourself and others. If I don't know yet wasn't my number one, this would be my number one. Um, honesty is like one of my biggest values, um, being authentic and, you know,
01:00:21
Speaker
just living out your true self. And so I think a lot of people, a lot of ill in the world comes from not being first honest with yourself. um We think we want something or we think we should want something, right? Shoulding on ourselves because of everyone else having it or everyone else doing it or this being someone's path.
01:00:45
Speaker
And then we go, okay, well, yeah, I want that too, or I, I can be like that, or I want to be like that. And you're just totally dishonoring who you are at your core. Right. And I've told people this before, like you are the only you, Christopher Tex McQuilkin, the only one. The one. The right. And so.
01:01:08
Speaker
Only you can offer what you can offer to the world. Only you can. I can never do it for you. Only you can. And that's beautiful. And if you don't, we're missing out, right? So if I don't offer who I am in true honesty and authenticity to the world, then the world is missing out on that thing that only I can offer. And that's a shame. But if I am offering what only I can offer,
01:01:37
Speaker
How beautiful is that? Right. So being honest with yourself and then in turn being very capable of being honest with others because you're being honest with yourself. And what do you have to hide? Number three, no one's coming to save you, princess. So you got to be capable. You got to do things. You got to be able to, to, you got to be strong. You got to be,
01:02:03
Speaker
possibly fast? I don't know. What do you need to outrun, right? um Like, I don't know. What was it? I had to change the car battery the other day. My neighbor came over to jump it first, and then she was like, I don't know how to do this. Can I watch? And I was like, yes, you're not going to learn in this one session, I guarantee. However,
01:02:23
Speaker
Absolutely, yes. That red, black, black. Right, right, right. And like it it just was it's one of those things where it's like, you need to be capable. No one's coming to save you. Make your money. Prepare yourself financially, physically, um community-wise, emotionally, all of those things. um Don't wait for somebody else to do it for you. Don't wait for somebody else to fill in the gap of something you want in your life.
01:02:51
Speaker
Right? I wish I had that. ah Maybe when I have a partner, I'll have that. Maybe when I have kids, I'll have that. Maybe when, whatever. No, just gut do it now for yourself. Number four, minor on the minors, major on the majors. Minor on the minors, major on the majors is like another one of my like, this happens every day, right? Where I'm just like,
01:03:17
Speaker
Why are we so worried about this stupid little thing? Some people will blow things way out of proportion. And it's like, is this really something that we need to be?
01:03:30
Speaker
using our time and energy on taking up real estate in our brains on probably not. um There's so much worry and ah rumination that happens when we are majoring on the miners, right? There's so many miners that happen in our day-to-day lives, right? And so when we choose to not look at them as miners and just go, okay, those are things and they're happening, that's fine. And we major on them, stress,
01:03:59
Speaker
um time suck, right? Total waste of time. um And then generally those things kind of like take care of themselves because they're minors, right? And then we go, oh wow, I don't even remember why I was like so worried about that thing. But you literally blew up your whole like work meeting or your family or something else because you wanted to major on that thing.
01:04:26
Speaker
So there are things that are majors, there are things that are majors and absolutely we major on those. But major on the majors, minor on the one. Five. Your lack of planning does not constitute my emergency. I feel like four and five are connected. They are. From a leadership kind perspective. Oh, for sure. Because if a leader in my mind is majoring on a minor, then they're trying to make it my problem.
01:04:54
Speaker
Rule five leads right in. So your lack of planning does not constitute my emergency. And, um, this happens a lot at work for me, um, where somebody is tasked with something and then all of a sudden it becomes my problem. And I'm like, that's so cute that you think I'm going to major on that right now. Um, because you're just telling me about this, right? So I respect organization and planning and a good con up. Give me a good con up every single day of the week. That's,
01:05:22
Speaker
military stuff. It's a plan. It's a plan. um And I love a plan. I love organization. I have love lists, numbers, bullets. i Give me a well done PowerPoint. That's also fine. um But yeah, if you're not planning, I'm not going to jump out of my you know skin to like help you right away, unless this is way out of character, I have helped you before, this is a true emergency, blah, blah, blah, right? But otherwise, we're going to say, that's minor. We're going to minor her on that. Number six, GSD. GSD, get stuff done. Get stuff done. Yeah. PG. The PG version. ah We all know.
01:06:14
Speaker
so Just do things like always be doing always be taking a step in the direction of something that you want to do Whether you're you've set a goal whether you've you know um Are moving towards another human whatever it is?
01:06:30
Speaker
make those steps be doing something. Like you can't expect for life to fall in your lap like you have to be doing, right? And whether that is like, you know, going out and meeting new people or getting that one workout in or whatever it is, whatever your goal is that you're moving to, you have to do something about it. Seven. I'm so proud of myself. um Feel the ends.
01:06:56
Speaker
Feel the ends. um And when I talk about the ends, I mean like the ends of the the the spectrum, the full feeling of ah ah all of the things of life, right? The good and the bad. And a lot of times, you know, we you and I have talked about this where like you get into that bad end of the spectrum and you're like, not going to feel that anymore. Let's go ahead and pretend, right? And so we're numbing it.
01:07:22
Speaker
raging with loud music, lifting weights, forgetting about it, not talking about it, pushing it down, doing all the things, right? And then we sort of forget how bad it feels and then we make the same mistake again because we forget that that really sucked.
01:07:37
Speaker
And I think feeling the ends in like that negative sense really helps us not return to the mistakes that we made before. It also helps us fully process it. It helps us help other people um because we've gone through it before. right um And then feeling the ends, like the good, the joy, the like having these moments of this thing I've been saying lately is thank you more, please.
01:08:06
Speaker
So it's like drawing attention to um the good things that happen. um So even just like getting princess parking or something like that in the parking lot, I'll be like, well, we run the school. So that's true. I park wherever I want, but thank you more, please. um And it's like kind of, you know, telling the universe, God, whatever you believe in, like I recognize the good that I see. And it's like that. um What's the effect where you you're like,
01:08:35
Speaker
talking about yellow cars and now all you see is yellow cars. And you're like, Oh my God, there's so many yellow cars, but they're not more yellow cars. They're just, you're noticing them. And this happens. I wish I could Google it right now. Is that effect called? Yes. Y'all know when we draw our attention to gratefulness and the good things that we can appreciate in our lives, more of those things don't necessarily happen, but we start to see them more. And so, wow, I get to see texts, you know, this year.
01:09:05
Speaker
we always see each other every year at Christmas. However, thank you more please, right? And so, yeah. So I've been trying to like kind of draw that into my daily practice and like noticing the little things and that kind of makes them a little bit bigger and elevates them in your life and and also kind of like changes your perspective on stuff.
01:09:28
Speaker
I like that one. it is Yeah, the, the, the feel the ends, uh, also within that, like my immediate thought was, was the end of something. yeah So then it's okay. Like you never want to stick around a place too long because then you start to start to paint the picture as negative. Yeah.
01:09:50
Speaker
And so I feel adding... ah Feel the endings. Feel the endings is a ah potential there as well. Because, I mean, look at us here. We didn't stick around here forever. Right. This was a moment in time, the right place, the right people for us as we were, and then they poured into us to grow. And then when there was time where Uh, we outgrew this place stepping into and out into the great unknown. We were ready and prepared because we were here. Right. And we also stepped out of someone else's spot because somebody else was then
01:10:32
Speaker
freed up to, so that spot was freed up for somebody else to step into. um And a lot of times I think that's something that people forget too. It's like, oh man, they're gonna, what are they gonna do without me? Like we play so much importance on ourselves, right? And again, that's on the good and the bad. Like we give we give ourselves too much credit, um especially as coaches. It's really not about us, right? And so leaving a lot of times is a blessing for someone else to step into that new opportunity.
01:11:02
Speaker
um and do it differently, better, like who who cares? um But like they can't live their true story until you step out of the way, right? And that's going back to that whole being honest with yourself and authenticity piece.
01:11:18
Speaker
Yeah. and And knowing there's the right people for um certain stages. And then as you evolve and grow, they're not they're not going to be the right person for you in that next phase. Correct. So then aiming to to find the people that are going to continue to pour into you and go on and grow. Don't hold resentment for yeah that. they They gave you a lot. Take it and and make good with it. Agreed.
01:11:47
Speaker
Do we have an eighth? We do. um I but haven't talked about this one as much, so it's like it might not be as well thought out um or formulated yet. Whose business is this or whose task is this?
01:12:02
Speaker
And you can say who's business or task. And this is from, oh, I wish I knew um the reading that I'm referring to, but I believe it was some stoic um that is like, whose task is this? Like, are why are you worried about this thing? Why are you um ah trying to control things that are not yours to control?
01:12:26
Speaker
Um, why can't you just release that and let it go? And you think, what are my tasks? These are the things that I can actually do versus like those things over there that are not my task. I want to try to control them. I want to try to like, uh,
01:12:42
Speaker
look at what's going on, figure out all the information, grasp. And like anytime we're grasping, it's usually not a good thing. um And so trying to control and not being able to just let go and go, that's not even my task. That's not my business, right?
01:13:01
Speaker
So I'm going to stay over here in my business. I'm going to work on my tasks. And that's something that I am really working on right now in my life in terms of I am such a like strong personality and I want to have control of things and I want to know what's going on and I want to, you know,
01:13:21
Speaker
What's going on in my sex first year with the team at Marymount? Oh, a hundred percent. And so obviously have been able to like parlay that into a more healthy coaching culture, teammate culture, that kind of thing. Um, but when it comes to my own life and what I want for me, I'm like, I still need to control this, but there are things that are so far outside of our control that I lie to myself about controlling because I know the information or.
01:13:50
Speaker
I can see this and I can, you know, I don't even know really how to explain it, but like focusing on what is your actual task and what is your business and then not worrying about anything else. Being unoffended by anything else that's happening because that's not my business and that's not my task. So I'm going to stick to my tasks and my business and thrive.
01:14:15
Speaker
and thrive. And thrive. That's the important thing. Adding to perspective with that, as a coach you apply to a lot of jobs and oftentimes you don't get those jobs for one reason or another and then as your network grows you learn about what really went on. So the people that did get that job are an assistant role in that place and you ask them about that and they're like,
01:14:41
Speaker
i I'm miserable. This place is a dumpster fire. So you missed out on something that you thought was the end of the world for you. its And then it wasn't your business, literally. And you learned from somebody else who's in the business, and that thing is burning down. And you are very grateful for then what other path you did take. It's whose business is this. Yes. And what opportunities, what moments do I have that need my full attention that they're missing out on? Yep. And I need, I need, I need to be grateful that I have these tasks and opportunities in business ahead of me. Yes. And I think that's also like, I think you nailed it with the, well,
01:15:26
Speaker
What energy am I not putting towards these things that truly are my task by focusing and worrying and ruminating on things that are not my task? I could be putting so much more of that energy into the things that are actually putting energy back into me and that are but are that our mine to do. um And so I don't know, that's that's been super healthy for me lately. And I'm getting a lot of stuff done that I really wanted to get done um by just being like, but not my business, not my task. Onward. Onward. Well, Jo, I greatly appreciate us taking our annual Christmas connection. I know. And now pressing record. I love it. Thank you for having me. Thank you for everything. 20 years.
01:16:19
Speaker
Fall 2004. Oh my god. 20 years. It has been 20 years. We're getting old, Christopher. whoa whoaa Let's see what rule I'm framing this. We got a lot of stuff done. um I'm majoring on the major of 20 years of just growth and connection and friendship.
01:16:41
Speaker
And here I am being honest with myself about how old I am.
01:16:48
Speaker
And others. I'm being honest with you as well about how old you are. I feel young. ah Oh, we are young, but you know. Well, what's what's next? forever Where can people follow you? At coach underscore Joe underscore just J.O. No E at the end. um And also strength coach hair.
01:17:10
Speaker
And you will see our lovely host featured with probably longer hair than you're rocking right now. i get one hair a bit There was a pretty epic hair flip um on there. So ah at Strength Coach Hair, I don't do anything on that account, but it still lives. It lives.
01:17:34
Speaker
and soldiersassidelines.org. um If you are a current service member, veteran, mill spouse, or gold star family member, and you're interested in coaching, please check us out. We're at most of the conferences. I'm applying to speak a tactical, so I'm putting it out there. and Manifest. ah Manifesting. I don't know where that lies, but um Yeah, it's my business. I'll send the thank you more, please. Thank you more, please. Because, yeah, I took last year off speaking, but now I'm back in. And you're refreshed. Thank you more, please. Thank you more, please. The NSCA Tactical Conference, Summer Strong. I believe I'll be there. Yeah. It's not my birthday weekend, right?
01:18:18
Speaker
I don't know. its no Nobody knows. It usually isn't. I think it's the weekend after Mother's Day weekend. Yeah. Yeah. We'll be hanging out there either way. We will be hanging out. All right. That does it for another episode of the Captains and Coaches Podcast. Thank you for having me. Thank you for being here and being and you. Bye. Bye. Thank you for joining us for another episode of the Captains and Coaches Podcast. If you like what you heard here today, Be sure to like, subscribe, rate, review, all that good stuff. It truly helps the show. Be sure to give coach Joe a follow on Instagram at coach underscore J O underscore. And I encourage you to check out soldiers to sidelines.org. If you are interested or know anyone you feel can really contribute and make an impact as a coach until next time. Thank you for helping us raise the game. Bye.