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025 - Coach & Captain
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In this special episode, we explore the crucial relationship between head coaches and team captains through the unique lens of Tex and Marymount University's men's lacrosse coach, Jon Reynolds.
Their story spans decades - from the early days of Reynolds' coaching career when Tex served as one of his first team captains, through their shared experience of their first victory together, to Reynolds later giving Tex his first coaching opportunity. Together, they unpack how strong coach-captain partnerships build winning cultures, develop future leaders, and create lasting impact beyond the field.
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Transcript
Introduction and Podcast Purpose
00:00:00
Speaker
the beatings will continue until morale improves. Welcome to the Captains and Coaches Podcast. We explore the art and the science of leadership through the lens of athletics and beyond. I'm Eros Tex McQuilken and today we explore one of the most powerful dynamics in athletics.
00:00:17
Speaker
relationship between a head coach and a team captain. I'm thrilled to dive into this topic with someone who fundamentally shaped my understanding of this partnership and my professional journey as a coach.
Interview with Coach John Reynolds
00:00:29
Speaker
I returned to campus on Marymount University to sit down with head men's lacrosse coach John Reynolds. The connection between a coach and a team captain is more than just a leadership structure.
00:00:40
Speaker
It's the heartbeat of a program's culture. When this relationship is built on trust, open communication, and a shared vision, it creates a foundation that elevates the entire team. As one of Coach Reynolds' first team captains during his early years at Marymount, I experienced firsthand how this dynamic can transform not just the season, but the trajectory of an entire program. I still vividly remember the conversations before practice There's strategic discussions during challenging moments in a season.
00:01:12
Speaker
and the courageous conversations following one or all of my teammates' cheeky shenanigans. These weren't just moments of coaching and playing. They were lessons in leadership, trust building, and the power of aligned purpose.
Leadership Philosophy and Challenges
00:01:26
Speaker
Coach Reynolds, affectionately known to my teammates as C-Ray, showed me when a coach truly invests in developing their team captains, they're not just building better players, they're cultivating future leaders who can carry a team's vision forward into their own lives. Leaning into some of our history and story time from our seasons together, we'll explore what it takes to take charge of a program with a toxic environment, C-Ray's evolving philosophy behind effective team leadership, and the unique dynamic between coaches and captains that continues to this day as C-Ray hands off more wisdom to me during this conversation.
00:02:06
Speaker
With that, let's hand it off to my coach, John Reynolds. Ready, ready, and ready.
00:02:17
Speaker
You hit the nail on the head when you wanted to talk about like how like you like how many you know great things have happened and shouldn't have, you know? Oh, well, that's the whole the whole story. All right. Rockin' and rollin'. All right. Welcome to the Captains and Coaches podcast.
00:02:36
Speaker
on location, Marymount University, where where it all began. So that the whole idea concept of captains and coaches, it started on campus. So this was my Division III athletic career. And then you stepped into my second season on campus. So that first season as an athlete with ah a coach who who was a tyrant, people did not quit because they They hated him so much and it was their energy that led them to to commit to the team and the program and the brotherhood just to spite the coach.
Eros' Journey and Transition to Coaching
00:03:15
Speaker
So then a lot of people then, we lost a lot of people. They did quit because of that. So it was this interesting dichotomy. And then ah my mindset was an athlete, I would do anything for the team. I joined cross country.
00:03:29
Speaker
So I was built to run, even watching our our game films that are up on YouTube and the fun happy hours. like I look at my running technique and I ah like Lego. It's terrible.
00:03:42
Speaker
um so Yeah, fortunately for me that year, I broke my leg. So hit a guy so hard, I stepped on him, rolled my ankle and nemus. So, uh, that allowed me to slow down and learn the game of lacrosse. Cause coming from Texas, I was basically a linebacker with a stick. yeah So that, that slowed me down a little bit. Then enter into year two.
00:04:08
Speaker
And so you're taking on this this the amalgamation, these roughnecks that came together from all walks of the the East Coast and beyond. yeah And we were we were together against a coach, so we had a negative relationship with coach.
00:04:27
Speaker
Right? The term. So you're stepping into this environment, this this playground of you know island of misfit toys. And meant you had to bring us all together. So speak to us. You step into this program as a returning. So you were an athlete here. You were a captain here. And then now you're stepping into the coaching role. and What was it like walking through the doors?
Team Culture and Leadership Roles
00:04:50
Speaker
You know, I think we had a lot of pride as a program, and that's what immediately I recognized that we were missing. you The guys here you know had the athletic ability. Obviously, the numbers were different. It wasn't the you know the best that we could have, right? But there was ah there was a ton of heart and still had it. and The thing about this place is, you know, we achieve a lot with a little. And the program, obviously still, as it does for you, it meant everything to me in that, you know, so many guys before us and, you know, so many guys that will come after as well, too. So I knew ah having, you know,
00:05:40
Speaker
being my father's son, right? Cleaning out the office, looking through all this stuff. And there was just so much level of detail, obviously, the previous coach and what he was putting in and looked at it. nothing There's no reason to have all of these things, but obviously coming across that visor. i was My dad taught me about the symbolism of things and how it was important. And there was a sticker that I found in the desk that was the skull and crossbones that said, the beatings will continue until morale improves. And that symbolized it a hundred percent. And I never experienced that. I didn't know him really, you know, and it was something that sticking that sticker on that hat. And to be honest, I i want to say I gave it to Pat Milan or or I gave it to
00:06:34
Speaker
nemus, but I definitely gave it to an older guy and I and I Told him I said listen you guys have fun tonight hang out But you should take this and you should do whatever you want with it because tomorrow's a different day And I think you guys went and I don't well I ever pick up where that story left off Yeah, it was a little bonfire. Yeah, and that was ah lightly placed with some just some some kind words to send off as a a change in regime was coming. Yeah and ah you know I think that that says a lot you know and you know part of it was we weren't going to do it any way that you guys had done it before you know and I had experienced as a player two different coaches right one the second coach obviously gave me my starting coaching you know my senior year asked me to stay on as a as an assistant the next year knew I was going to be local knew I was teaching and
00:07:27
Speaker
He obviously was a captain, like you said, and had a passion for for you know a certain kind of way to operate. And he felt I could cross the line and be an assistant. And that has helped shape me in some of the times in selecting a guy who I think can step into the coaching ranks because they're not interested necessarily in being your friend. you know It's about winning. It's about what's important for the program. That's the essence that I call it zero to one leadership.
00:07:55
Speaker
So you're doing everything right, you're checking all the boxes, you're doing the intangibles, and then you're assigned this opportunity to take on now a bigger role and lead the team. So you don't need the C on your chest to be a leader, but at the same time, once you get it, now you have no choice but to step in and take on the responsibility of that role.
Leadership and Team Performance
00:08:16
Speaker
so it It does mean a lot. It's not just, uh, and some guys are upset when they don't get, they feel they're doing everything right and they don't get it, but at the same time, how do they frame that as an opportunity or
00:08:29
Speaker
do they take it personally? If they take it personally, well, that that's the biggest step. There's low self-awareness and we can present that as an opportunity for, I mean, anytime throughout a season, you can change captains. Absolutely. I've seen it happen, you know, and I've seen guys had it taken from them. I have not done that.
00:08:49
Speaker
but have certainly tried to do my best to help direct. And I've had some captains too, where I feel like it was a popularity vote. And maybe that year, that guy didn't do as well as he could have, but in recent years and, and you know, since COVID and since, I don't wanna say like the last five, six seasons, it it has been a different, it's been a change of the guard. It's been a little bit,
00:09:16
Speaker
different to that approach and the opportunity that has been created by, you know, where we are and a shift. And obviously, there were so many things that happened in, you know, the AD at the time for joining the new conference, and it was 100% the right move, ah you know, the vision of of her and the president. and like It was exactly what we needed as a school, and all of the programs here have benefited, and it's impossible to argue. But back to your point about what those guys have done, you know sometimes that they were the most – they facilitated the best. They organized the best. They did the guys getting them ready to what they needed to do.
00:09:59
Speaker
there's something to be said for a guy that's a leader like that. But then you also need that guy that's ready to just say, hey, I want the ball and, you know, I'm going to take this and run. And, you know, when it counts, you know, I want
Memorable Games and Team Growth
00:10:11
Speaker
the ball. Yeah. So got to be the dude. You got to be the man. Yeah. So. And I mean, we had that mix of the team. I certainly wasn't the best player on the team, but definitely the right person for the team.
00:10:24
Speaker
able to to bring guys together and and amalgamate this i mean rambunctious group yeah that were highly motivated ah for all the wrong reasons. For sure. So then, I mean, that that first year taking on the challenge.
00:10:39
Speaker
we were in the best... We were in the best conference in Division III La Crosse. Salisbury, Stevenson, York was on its way up, so we had our challenges ahead of us. And then you chose to schedule some historic programs. Yeah. And yeah, the... A lot of the ODACs. A lot of the ODACs. Yeah. And on the road, especially, which I loved, because we are going to these different campuses where We're experiencing, dude, gettysburg and you ah ah Gettysburg is probably my favorite place to play, yeah just the seeing the the battlefields and all that, but like taking us into those environments. yeah That matured us quickly, and i mean showed us like there there was still opportunity. Because we had dudes that had flashes.
00:11:28
Speaker
So I was able to ah introduce there's possibility here. Sure. I always thought, and I still use it to this day through the recruiting process and talking with potential prospects that yeah we're going to put you in the most hostile environments that we can.
00:11:46
Speaker
and you are going to be a pilgrim in an unholy land, and they're not going to be there to make make friends, they're there to make enemies. Yeah, Lynchburg, I'm having flashbacks. yeah is the i mean They allowed their student body to put couches basically on the field. They don't do that anymore. It went a little too far. I don't know if it was, you know, if it was us or maybe ah an old ODAC matchup, but yeah, they don't allow that. But those were the days, you know? That was awesome. Yeah, you could get hit in the face with, like, my senior year. Red solo cups. I got hit in the face with a penny my senior year, and and we beat them. And I remember catching eyes with the guy.
00:12:21
Speaker
And he looked right at me and and he called my mother every name he could think of. And all I could think about at that moment is how it was just clear the ball and we win the game and and we did. you know So i putting you guys in those things that for me, i were very they shaped me as a player. So I i knew I had the experience. you know I had you know obviously a lot of success as a player. So I think that that was what I knew. I wanted to give you know you guys in the beginning and get back to what you know had been such a solid base for this program, you know built from nothing, not a home you know not a whole lot. um We were very nomadic in in who we were. I think there was one year that you were here, we played at seven different home sites and that that just became part of the part of what it was. you know That was the culture. And um for us to beat the teams that we did,
00:13:17
Speaker
you know, to do the things that, you know, to have the successes that we had and to play the games, even if they weren't that wins, but we took those teams all the way to the wire. And, you know, we had our fair share of overtime wins and overtime losses as well, too, and against programs that had every single advantage over us.
00:13:36
Speaker
and it didn't matter. Yeah. we Oh, yeah. As we go through this, we're gonna get to my favorite win, favorite story of all time. Yeah. the But let's speak to the the first win, which was an overtime win. So, Farmingdale State yeah at Washington and Lee. Yeah, it was a W&L, yeah. W&L, yeah. the I mean, that I still got the memory. So, the yeah, I gave the pregame speech for that. So, it took a...
00:14:04
Speaker
playbook out of one of my high school ah football coaches. And yeah, I got the dudes riled up for that. Yeah, it's it was, and I still recall it. it's if I'm not much of a religious man.
00:14:17
Speaker
but you ever heard the prayer, if you walk through the valley of the shadow of death, you will have no fear? Well, we have no fear because we're the baddest in that valley. Yeah, yeah. No, that was... I remember it. I definitely, it was a bitter cold night. Oh my God. 7 p.m. in February, right? I don't know why the game time was that, but it probably had something to do with just the scheduling, right? That was all we could get. And I remember PJ and Kevin were going off and PJ had ah had had a great game, but he got hurt. He rolled his ankle and I think we' we'd put someone else in and and they were not they were they were faltering quick. And and I remember going over and talking to PJ, you got to go back in. And he taped it up and went back in and he ended up having five points. And I remember
00:15:09
Speaker
but The previous coach called me and goes, how the heck did you get P.J. Kesterfahrst to score five points and and the game winner? so um And I knew then, you know, there are certain things that tell you about justifying, you know, the direction of where it was going, and obviously that was the first of many, and it definitely – mean to hear, to get that call. I've had a few of them. You know, we we played Stevenson to the wire one day and you know, um coach Ken Bennett called me and and the next day he goes, man, that was an unbelievable game. Like, you know, you guys, you know, did everything possible to
00:15:48
Speaker
to you know put that on the line and and outstanding performances by guys. I remember St. Mary's when you know basically it locked up probably in their all-conference vote for Kevin that year where he just went off and and you know he's like, that kid's the real deal. And and you know it was a one-goal loss.
00:16:07
Speaker
You know, so but there are times that, you know, obviously I think you learn more from the losses necessarily than the wins, but the wins are what people remember. The games, you know, I still i'm I'm a part of that crowd too with the alumni and and you know, getting together at these events and and talking about the games and I love hearing other people talk about it. I'm in it every day. You know, it's it's I'm in the weeds all the time with these guys and.
00:16:33
Speaker
what others remember, I truly enjoy. That's why alumni weekend's the best. You you get all those guys together and they they talk about... the the speeches I gave. And I'm like, oh, man. And I, you know, will not mention them here because obviously this is going to go out. But some of the things I said, I'm like, man, I probably shouldn't, the you know, maybe still be employed. I don't know. Maybe one of those things, you know, I'm going to say something in the future because I think maybe, you know, guys are changing. But, you know, that is something I i didn't play
Leadership Styles and Personal Growth
00:17:05
Speaker
in any of them. I just said what, it you know, what I thought that the guys needed to hear at that point in time.
00:17:11
Speaker
Yeah, I mean it's it's heat of the moment and then there is something to the the magic of a pregame speech. Yeah, so it can't be too long, but it's got to like lead to a peak and then spark it and then the timing is everything. Do we do this pre warm up or do we do this?
00:17:28
Speaker
pre-going out before the the face-off, so there's there's a little bit of magic to it. ah So, I mean, timing is everything, which, I mean, historic win to start it all, growth through adversity, I mean, that's that's my defining opportunity within Marymount University, Marymount Lacrosse. Adversity is the key word, because we we had different fields, we had different practice schedules, ah nighttime, lights. Nighttime, middle of the night. middle of the night, on that river yeah shoveling the field if it snowed. yeah we Okay, well, don't schedule anything two hours before because we got to shovel the field. Girls get to go out and practice. Then when everything freezes again, you boys get to go out there. yep so It was not for the faint of heart or weak of soul. yeah but I mean, these are these are the stories, the moments that yeah that bring everything together.
00:18:24
Speaker
I could argue, you know, what defines success, you know, because I know a lot of guys have come to this program who've become great men, great fathers, you know, at huge impacts in their industry, you know, guys that have gone all over the globe, you know what I mean, to, ah you know, kind of help what's going on. So it's definitely makes a difference.
00:18:46
Speaker
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Speaker
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Speaker
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00:19:46
Speaker
and get started today. And now, back to the show. Ready, ready, and we're ready. I do want to spend time with common struggles for first-time leaders. I mentioned zero to one leadership for the team captain. They're they're taking on this responsibility at the same time you're, I mean, you're social with your teammates, but now all of a sudden you're you're handed this responsibility.
00:20:09
Speaker
So struggles within first time leaders and captains that you've led and the same time you stepping into that role as an athlete way back when and how has that prepared you now as a coach to guide these guys when they take on the role of captain.
00:20:24
Speaker
I always start it with a first speech to them to say that, you know, I'm accessible to you and you're accessible to me. They're at 24 hours a day, seven days a week, and there's certain things that I need to know, and there's certain things I don't want to know. And part of this is that you need to understand what that is and figure that out, that there are some things that I don't want to know every little thing about every guy.
00:20:49
Speaker
you need to understand what's going to help those guys best out. And their best interest, because you, you know at certain points, might not have had the biggest influence on the game because of your position. Your your position was crucial right in regards to the the role that you played on the field.
00:21:09
Speaker
but but Some guys aren't always, it's not always the attackman who scores all the goals, it's the captain. Sometimes it's the LSM that's the captain. And you know, maybe the goalie obviously, they gotta make the big saves. But I think what it comes down to is that those guys need to understand that everybody can't be, you can't scream at everybody, you can't yell at everyone. you You have to find out what reaches each individual. And as a coach, that's what you have to figure out. But they get so much more exposure to them. They're around them all the time.
00:21:40
Speaker
and their influence on those guys is gonna be sometimes more and influential than a coach. I say everything, go to bed early, drink water, get on the bus at this point in time, make sure you got the blue helmet, not the black helmet, right? in And there's so much coordination, I tell them everything and they hear 30%. So what a teammate says to you, I know having been in that position you as well,
00:22:06
Speaker
the impact of someone of your peers telling you. And regardless of how you view them, you want people in your life that are gonna tell you the truth. You want them to say, not ah not always agree with you, you know? And there's definitely, you know, some fight to that aware, yeah, there's hierarchy, there's there's a way to go above, there's a way to talk about, hey, this is what, you know, and some guys get caught up in like, hey, there, you know, maybe,
00:22:37
Speaker
drunk with power about what this means and what it needs to be. To be honest, being a captain to me, I always meant that you had to do all the dirty stuff. You were there first, you were there last. You know you have to do all the things that maybe things don't want to do. yeah and If you see somebody slack and you you either go and help them or you do it for them, that's what it means to be a captain and in and my eyes. So telling them that speech and breaking it down in that way, I will give them information that I think that will help their perspective that not everybody on the team's privileged to.
00:23:12
Speaker
you know We had plenty of conversations. I was like, this is what you need to know. This is what is being said behind closed doors above our pay grade. and you know We have to fix. Those conversations aren't helping us. like they're They're going to do a lot to you know hold us back. Perception is big, and especially on a campus like this. like It's huge about the type of character that you are. You need people in your corner that are going to help you. and having been there, knowing that there's a certain way to get to that spot. So it's it's critical to have that type of ah relationship, I think, with them. And as they go through, they start to understand. And I can't tell you how many times afterwards, like, coach, you were 100% right about that, 100% right about that. So if you're honest, you know, I'm not trying to. I've never been a coach that was coached from fear or anything like that.
00:24:05
Speaker
But I'm the first person off the bus every time. I'm the first person that is going to walk right into, Coach, where are we going? like We're going to walk right in the middle of the line standing like, this is yeah were we're here to play. yeah Leading from the front. yeah So I've explored and learned a lot about leadership and then simply put it as there's authoritarian or authoritative. So stepping into the authoritative is is the fear.
00:24:34
Speaker
is the power, is to do this or else. And then you are fighting so hard to keep your image of perfection, of power. And in and in essence, it becomes about you as the leader or the authoritarian is you're establishing expectations, you're holding people to those expectations. So that's where we see ah your potential is up here.
00:24:57
Speaker
And now we're helping guide them to achieve their potential, whether it's athletic performance, academics, or just as as young men so stepping into campus.
Perceptions and Cultural Shifts
00:25:07
Speaker
And then I've been a part of a lot of universities and it's sometimes people have it out for athletes, whether they're individual students or they're academia. So if if you wear your gear sometimes at ah colleges,
00:25:22
Speaker
people then want to put you down. So it's an opportunity now to, whether you have the sweatshirt on or not, whatever campus you're on, okay, well,
00:25:32
Speaker
you can change the perception and help them change whatever disgruntled feelings they have against you. I've seen this everywhere, which is wild to me, where ah yeah you get the opportunity now to change somebody's beliefs and perceptions ah about whatever it is they're feeling, and it's it's a great opportunity.
00:25:54
Speaker
I think that there's something to be said for that. And I think at first, as a younger coach, I was interested in in changing what people thought. And now that I'm older, I actually and have been through so many of these and, you know, now staring down season 20. I'll tell you what, you know what, I think that A lot of people, as much as they want to do, eat I built you guys up and I think it's just something that's the same way we do now. You carry a level of swagger about you that it isn't because they you know they they're sitting there trying to break you down. It's more is that they they think that you're better than them.
00:26:38
Speaker
why would someone hate on you unless they were really interested in knowing that like, you know, what you're better than them. You know what I mean? you're You're just, you know, the audacity to think like we're supposed to, you know, bow down. Oh, this is this school. This is this program. like
00:26:58
Speaker
No, whatever. I never cared anything about that. To be honest, I was a little bit like you and I was a little green coming into school where I didn't really know I was supposed to be fearful of this program. I didn't care. you what does that What does that mean to me? Like, I was, you know, La Crosse was relatively new, not played it through high school, but It was something of where, what's the point of of any of that, right? So I think that that has come now too, where I can see it in guys. And it's easy. It's like we're, you know, we're playing chess and they're playing checkers. I can see how much they dislike me. they They're nice to my face, but the second I turn around, like they're not voting for our players. They're not doing this. And it's it's something that
00:27:42
Speaker
Understandably so. They don't like it. They hear the stories that I say. I'm in these circles. I think I set you recruiting one time, and you were like, Coach, there's all these knitting circles of guys that get together. I got funny stories about that. But that's the truth, and I still think that those circles exist of where I used to get upset. Why wasn't I included in it? To be honest, I don't think it had anything to do with other than that they didn't want someone like me in there because guys like us would take over the room. They would they would you know steer the conversation because we actually did those experiences. It wasn't something that we saw. It wasn't something that someone else did that we could tell the story for. like No, we did it.
00:28:26
Speaker
We went there. We experienced that. It was us, like, because, you know, who dares wins, right? And we always dared. There was so much growth for me stepping into that that coach's role. I know we're going to get there, but it is it is battling imposter syndrome. Like, where I'm inherently nice and open and talk to people, like, why would they put these guards up? Why would they put these shields up?
00:28:52
Speaker
So then naturally took it personally, yeah but now it's, okay, understanding that. yeah And then taking that into leadership lessons with the teams that I lead. So understanding that there are culture killers that go after its envy, its resentment. So it's everything that you you feel inside. You need to have self-awareness to step up.
00:29:13
Speaker
So when ah someone else is expressing that to you, well, arm them with tools to then take it down. Or if I'm feeling envy about somebody's really nice car and I'm a high schooler, well, guess what? ah I want you to go talk to them about it. They're going to tell you gas mileage or how much it costs for them to fill up that badass truck insurance, if they're paying that in high school, but it's probably gas. So go talk to them about it. Don't just be and hold it in.
00:29:42
Speaker
communicate to them, find out the problems, and maybe you are liking your piece of junk hand-me-down car that your dad gave you, a 1984 Mercedes turbo diesel. yeah like it's It's a good thing. Yeah. um So little things like that. And I mean, there's so much growth in that. And then the the knitting circles, those those exist in every industry. Sure. So it's not just the lacrosse. I've seen it all over. And what's what's interesting to me, and most of these guys, they attack my height.
00:30:12
Speaker
It's like, dude, I'm 5'7 Irish genetic trashcan. I was Division III All-Star. And I joke at All-Star because that's not a real accomplishment. But I joke because all the things that are constraints or should hold me back or they're commenting on,
00:30:30
Speaker
aiming to roll these into ah humor or kick kick doors open. It's a defense mechanism for them. Yeah. Without a doubt. so it And it it only highlights their own insecurity. I know. Living in their head rent free. That's how I view it. Yeah, I love it. And and you know what? that I like that that term has come You know into the light more recently and there is something to be said for that where there was a tear-down culture for a long time There was a hey, I'm gonna bash you on these certain things and it's like I can get it But you know what? The funny thing is I heard a guy talk of who I went to this school and you know We beat you every time I was like, well, you know what? I personally didn't lose to you ever as a player and most of our games we beat you by 15, so I
00:31:17
Speaker
your experience different than mine. And I think that, you know, the the circle, it's like, well, I'm the head coach. You're still somebody's third assistant or whatever. And it's like, you can argue what you will, right? And so I would think that you're still standing in the room, right? And those guys want to, you know, throw shade.
00:31:42
Speaker
Well, my position in the room is much different than yours. you know So it's I could argue for you, and um I've definitely listened to some things that you've said, and and I think the position of what you experienced is allowed you to feel comfortable in that room in all situations. And but so many other guys share that because they came through this program. Oh, i I believe it. So the I mean, our alumni network runs deep. And they are very successful yeah in many different industries, so many which blows my mind, because that's why I love Alumni Weekend as well, is just give keep giving them a hard time. And then they're just living best lives as yeah successful businessmen, fathers, everything. yeah And it's just hilarious, like the constraints that we had, ah different fields, driving vans to every practice.
00:32:35
Speaker
um i mean the many different things, the fitness center versus a weight room. Yeah, it was a trailer when I was here. I believe it. Because they were building this building, right? This didn't exist. Yeah, it's just what they've done. What we made out of something is just proves to the point, I think, speaking to prospects, it's like, you ought to have that drive. And I think how you present it is going to touch a guy and it's going to preach to him in a certain way. And the guys who commit, who fully dial in, who figure it out, they never look back in the end of that four years so and they turn around and they don't look at those experiences as something that they can't use. And so many come back and and have those conversations. I just wish more did.
00:33:26
Speaker
you know, I wish Moore made the effort to connect and want to be connected with the team.
Program Legacy and Impact
00:33:36
Speaker
But it has to be in a way that is, you know, something that it' it's beneficial, you know, ah for for both, like, to help close that circle for those guys. And
00:33:49
Speaker
The message has to be something that's relayed to the team that matters. You've done it a couple of times. And in both times, the message was was similar, but it was different. And having been in you know the only person in the room that's that saw both, right it it it had an impact. And those guys spoke about that for years to come.
00:34:10
Speaker
ah I hope so. It was fun. They did. They did. And it was something of where I think you kind of talked about it, like, you know, how we as it as coaches or captains have to set those kind of standards of what it is. I pumped them up to be like, hey, listen, you saw what happened last year or the year before. Like the standard now is different. The standard now has to go up. Yeah. And that is part of what you have to combine with your group of guys, get together and talk about that has to happen. That's up to them. you know And once they said it, I say it to them, fellas, that was the best drill I've ever seen. That was the best game, the best half, the best quarter. That was the best way to finish a game.
00:34:56
Speaker
Now that I've seen it, that's what you got to do every single time. Like, you've done it once. So I think, you know, going through those trials, sometimes you got to fall flat on your face and, you know, lose to a team that you shouldn't lose to because, you know, there's always another day. There is always another time and opportunity to get it back.
00:35:17
Speaker
that senior year comes quick. yeah So it's it's important to to teach and reinforce those lessons early. And then when they are going against their potential or going against their character ah with certain behaviors or play, then that's when you step in as a coach in shape. but So the what I admire about the captain is where ah a coach is leading from the sideline, captain, you get the opportunity to to feel the flow of the game and lead from the field. Or the energy of the sideline, if coaches are occupied with the the flow of the game, handling the refs, strategically, you get to to elevate the energy on the sideline. So it's it's the ebbs and the flows. And that that doesn't even get into the the challenges outside within the the character. So if dudes start stop acting or start acting out of character,
00:36:14
Speaker
now you are having crucial conversations. You're stepping up to the plate and those small conversations, they matter for your team and your moment in time, but it's going to just have such magnitude when you got to have that conversation and I'll call it real life. When you're entering into the real world and you're responsible for a business, you're responsible for a family, that conversation, you had reps at it when you were with your guys. Yeah. Oh yeah. so it's it It's an opportunity for crucial conversations, for conflict, for, I mean, public speaking. You're public speaking. Those are reps. That's going to count when you get the opportunity to step in front of people and
00:36:58
Speaker
and lead the group. It's such a valuable opportunity and experience, so it's not just having a C in your chest and feeling good. Like it's so many different things that you get the opportunity to then just get reps in before real life. Oh yeah, I agree. I think that that's that's there's there's a lot of value there. There's something to be said about
00:37:21
Speaker
those experiences and how they shape, right? And just putting thought to what is important, right? And saying that, like, I remember that. Like, i i so I've seen this before, right? And having the wherewithal to understand that, you know, your eyes are on the horizon, and this experience has been something that you you you You watched it happen before. You experienced it. It went this way. and That way was bad. let me Let me go a different direction on this this next time. um and The clues are there. you know The red flags are there. The green flags are there. you know The things that pop up that are positive for you.
00:38:01
Speaker
are always right in front of you and your ability to recognize, I think, and have an impact. Because some guys, though, they don't want to be kept. We had a guy this year who I thought would be the best candidate for a captain on the team. He said, Coach, I don't want it. He said, I am going to affect this team in my own way. I'm going to be a leader for this squad in the way the best way I know how. i don't I don't need that to do that. And I was like,
00:38:27
Speaker
That is the best answer I've ever had. That's why it needs it to be. From that. Correct, correct. It's not gonna change who he is. It will never. This guy is a, you know, he is just... um He's had his ups and downs with his own mental health and has become a different person. And and i I believe that he has figured out a lot of things. And like you said earlier, he he has figured out how to live his best life and be it one of the most impactful guys on the team and arguably one of the most impactful positions that there is and that determines possession all the time. Short, sick, demitty.
00:39:11
Speaker
ah The thankless. but No, that that requires such a level of grit. I think that even something too, like I know you coach now at the high school level and and where you're at, and I think it's something that at at the college level and and trying to crack into you know the upper echelon of being in there, it does make a difference. Your position specifically as a defensive midfielder now, that position,
00:39:39
Speaker
is the most picked on position now. It is everyone puts two shorties and brings them into a pair and sets picks. And it's such ah a crucial part of the game of where that's not where you put the guy that isn't ready for. They got to be a dog and a dude. They have to be. And it's not, okay, well, we can make this O'Mitty who can't do that. it's That old midi has to be fast, athletic, strong, and have you know an absolute axe to grind if you're going to make an O guy a D midi. I have this conversation with my offensive coordinator all the time. He's like, we'll just make him a D midi. That guy doesn't have you know enough hair on his chest yet. there yeah I have plenty.
00:40:33
Speaker
Yeah, the I love that position and and took a lot of pride in it. I mean, the the the game was different 20 years ago. ah It was still picked on an attack yeah and and seen as a weakness within the defense, but then taking that on and and stepping up to that, like, okay, go. So then, I mean, that that position effectively has just defined my whole career, the the underdog, the Okay, oh, this guy is short, and just because I said that earlier. Oh, we'll go after him or write him off. So then, okay. Well, now I i have to i have to understand the body, I have to understand psychology, I have to understand everything better than what these people are just ah giving an appearance to me as, and then be the smartest guy in the room. So it's, or the best public speaker, or step up in that respect where
00:41:25
Speaker
Okay, I'm automatically written off just because their initial first impression. ah Let's rock and roll. So it it effectively, I mean was hundreds of reps.
00:41:38
Speaker
at that. And then, I mean, let a go lot of goals in, stopped a lot of goals. I used my head as a weapon. The game was different back then. yeah um I got more career knockouts than goals. That's just it. I mean, yeah freaking Colin Farrell, is he's got CTE because I'm sorry, buddy. but I remember Jamie, she had to stop practice. We were splitting the field, men's and women's. Yeah. I freaking slid. I remember. Jamie, ah after that hit, like she had, she I don't know, she had to cancel practice.
00:42:13
Speaker
but
00:42:15
Speaker
Shouldn't have come across the middle. It's part of the game. I think Colin kept it in perspective, too. And I think there was just a physics thing involved in that situation. And i you know that that level of stuff, you know some years we have it. Some guys are dropping bodies in some years.
00:42:32
Speaker
it's It's all finesse. It's all guys like looking to take the ball away and and you know ah aggressively moving their feet and and just being you know the biggest annoyance
Lessons in Leadership
00:42:43
Speaker
with that stick. and you know So I think you're trying to find you know what that happy medium is because there's still a physicality that's something like that.
00:42:52
Speaker
can happen in the game. And in that's why not everybody plays it. you know Not everybody's ready to get hit. That's why you know you play another sport. Yeah, just there's still the Hammer Award. There is. There is. But it doesn't it gets handed out less and less because there's not always something worthy of it. I've seen i've seen some big ones. I've played with guys that You know, I think maybe my standard is too high. Yeah. It's too high. You know what I mean? Like, oh, that was a huge one. Like, no, that wasn't. the I ah ended a St. Mary's kids career, um but then I just remember waiting for the game film. So excited. And then the cameraman is like panning.
00:43:40
Speaker
And then just this timing where I'm just at a frame and you hear the hit from wherever the camera was. And then all the flags come out and I just, I'm sad. I missed it on camera. yeah I can, I could still relive it in my mind, but at the same time, like.
00:43:59
Speaker
I'll take the award right now. I think maybe that's why I wish more guys would come back and experience those memories and come up with those things because I'm sure that somebody else remembered it and you're like, well, he does for sure. I didn't think about it. Cause he didn't come back today. I definitely know that.
00:44:15
Speaker
I have run in and had many stories about, oh, yeah, I remember you guys. that's And they say some stuff. And i I turn around. I'm like, oh, yeah, yeah. I i don't give it any value then. And I turn around. And if I'm with someone, else I just laugh. Or I call somebody up. And I'm like, man, listen to this story. Yeah. Here's a difference in perspective. And we have a great laugh. You know what I mean? Because yeah you like you said, live and rent free in somebody else's mind.
00:44:42
Speaker
the So teaching the captains now effective communication. So you mentioned you you sit down with them all at once to introduce the responsibilities, or is it one-on-one? No, it's always one-on-one. Everybody's role is different. For them, they have to figure out how that goes. They they need to understand um part of it as to how it plays out. Some guys are lead by example. Some guys do everything right, grades.
00:45:08
Speaker
they're They're on time to everything. They're making sure that they're like, who's in this lift group? you know Michael, Tommy, Jimmy, Billy, you know running down the line. And so, okay, well, whereas you know where's Sam at? Where's you know where's where's Jack at? you know So then they have to go and figure out that. you know so But other guys are just,
00:45:29
Speaker
you know, they're in there and they just get it done. They're in there to achieve. They're in there to just, you know, like max out. They're in there to play and just they're going to have 10 goals as practice. They're feeling it. And then when they aren't, you know, somebody else sees, you know, maybe a kink in the armor or something like that. And and tries to test them, tries to outdo them in the lift, tries to outdo them in the practice in that drill. And then all of a sudden that guy has to be like, but yeah you know let them know what it's all about. So it I think there's different types of leaders. There's different types of captains, especially in our game.
00:46:14
Speaker
it it it's It's ever-evolving, too, and you wish you always had that perfect matrix. We've had four sometimes. we've had Sometimes I feel you know ah everybody has a different opinion. My assistants do as well. Maybe five is too many. Sometimes it's four. I can tell you that I've never had a team where it was only just one guy. I do like the you know the Navy.
00:46:37
Speaker
you know ah You know, army, like they they just choose one guy. I don't know that one guy can do it. On a team that has 45 guys, like that's...
00:46:48
Speaker
That's tough to say, because there has to be some level. They only tell you, hey, there's one captain, but there's got to be ah the co-captain, and assistant captain. there There has to be... Yeah, definitely different roles. ... new tenants, you know. So, yeah yeah. I imagine it's similar to a hockey experience, right? You get the C captain that's allowed to talk to the refs, yeah and then you get the A, who's like the energy guy. Yeah, yeah.
00:47:11
Speaker
ah i'll I'll find some guys and ask and explore that. That sounds cool. And if there was one dude, you'd know. Yeah. So it's just, I haven't had the opportunity to have that dude yet, which is okay. the what What was interesting on mike's my experience, one, two, three years as captain, just the the the growth and the levels. So at the first year, i'm um'm I'm an introvert, very quiet person, do everything right.
00:47:38
Speaker
And then we had on that same captain team, ah Tayman, who's unreal. And I've seen him accomplish amazing things, even coming back from cancer to still ball out. And then, but he he was very emotional vocal. So then we had a balance there. ye So then Tayman moves on and now, okay, I have to my i have to grow now.
00:48:02
Speaker
So it's, it's, it's finding out who these people are, but also I'm looking one, two, three years ahead of what they can step into. So it's one of my pet peeves and going after is coaches that say, Hey, you're the quarterback, you're the captain, go lead, but they don't give them the tools. What if that is an introvert quiet kid? Okay. Well then.
00:48:24
Speaker
let's Let's put him in this leadership position, allow him to lead by example, and then encourage and empower over time to find his voice. For sure. but By the end of it, now we're we're coming up with.
00:48:37
Speaker
new logos, we're coming up with themes for the team, right and it's it's it's speeches, it's it's stepping into it. um And it it was public speaking. Like I remember like, okay, I'm gonna read this, but now I'm learning that nobody's freaking listening to me read off a piece of paper. Okay, I could just do my best to step in and speak and just, I gotta feel emotion when I'm losing it.
00:49:01
Speaker
I don't know, say something ah awesome or hilarious and get the energy back up. Yeah. There there are times where I can... ah You know, you've given plenty of talks where you're you can feel the room slipping away because you're going over so much technical stuff or it just... You thought that what this was gonna be was gonna land and everyone was gonna...
00:49:26
Speaker
And it just, it they heard it and then there was almost no reaction. It's like, did you hear what I just, you know, almost in my mind, I'm like, did you hear what I just said? But there were plenty of times of where I think ah being eyes on the horizon and seeing something, a connection that can be made that makes you think of something else that you can throw out there. You can just, you know, like you said, toss that up. I kind of more often times use humor.
00:49:54
Speaker
Right. And if I can get them laughing, then I know they're paying attention. So there's levels, there's self-awareness as a coach, which bleeds into social awareness. We got to be able, my team needs this now. I'm going to go step into this this conversation a bit later. I'm going to give these guys what they need now, because it is, I'm not going to hold back this conversation over here. My team needs this right now. So It is balancing that, but again, always team first. Yeah. And then- Well, I think too, and what I mean as well is you know that you've witnessed captains talk. You've witnessed them speak to the group and you're like, I would have left that out.
00:50:36
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah, I would have not done that. But you don't enter, you know. Oh, dude, you can't step in. That's the closest. No, no, no. You let it happen, and then you come back later and be like, that whole first three quarters, great job. But you needed to just drop this part right there. It would have had such more impact. And they're like, OK, coach, I appreciate that. Where they thought maybe that one quarter of the speech was really what it should have been. No, that was the worst part of what you said. You didn't need that. Because what you said all in the beginning,
00:51:05
Speaker
that was the most impactful. That's going to be the thing that is going to inspire those guys to do better and do more. Yeah. And then them taking that constructive feedback that that's a similar within real life work. Like athletics is easy compared to real life work. The criticism, I'm expecting it in the film room. I know I messed up. It's pretty clear. So, okay, coach is going to tell me XYZ. I'm going to aim to do my best next time.
00:51:33
Speaker
in work, you do your best, you turn it in, and they're gonna tear it apart. So now it's, okay, you get the expectation of my my writing, my my communication, my speaking is now being ah evaluated. That's the real world, athletic performance, easy, yeah easy day. I think that you get more though, and that's the hard part, because you know that in college athletics, you talk about the progression of what you did, you know, one, two, three with that, you know, captain role that you had.
00:52:04
Speaker
but it's been fun and you know I'm never gonna make a million dollars doing this, but to see where you have gone from there, right? There's so many other years that I don't get, like but in the professional world, that's the largest part of what you're gonna accomplish.
00:52:26
Speaker
But you can always come back and I'm going to hold the torch and give credit where credit's due to the the biggest part, the foundational part of you know what it was and like and never discount it. Because we did some things when you were here, we did some things with other teams that shouldn't have happened. you know The wins that never should have taken place.
00:52:48
Speaker
But they did and it ruined guys and tired, whatever, you know trip, month, year, right? We crushed guys, spirits, held guys out of the NCAA tournament because they lost to us in the last game and we weren't having a good year. or you know They were having a great year and all of a sudden we were having a terrible one and you know we we we smash. you know And it's that is something that Those are the ones that you know you can always look back on and say, but I think that I don't get them as long. I don't get them long enough. The success, I obviously try to instill in them what's going to happen and they move on something bigger and better.
00:53:25
Speaker
And I find pride in in its in in that. I just wish, you know, sometimes I wish college was a little bit longer. You know, guys could stay in a little bit more and then I could have something. That's what I did. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I will say yeah you you did, but that was, that is not common. I don't get, I don't get guys that much. Even the whole through COVID thing, I had one guy do an extra year because the the academic focus of the guys on the team now is so different. Like we were graduating guys on time. We were graduating guys on Deasless, like the the academic record of you know, maybe ah where it was when you were here. It's very different now. I stepped into grad school, 4.0 over here. I'm just joking about the extra year, but there were some ah guys, ah yeah, they took a victory lap, I believe it's called.
00:54:14
Speaker
For sure. Yeah, the, you know, the whole COVID thing and extra eligibility and that kind of stuff threw a wrinkle in. and We were playing against teams that had fifth, sixth, seventh year guys. And I know that that program doesn't have a med school, right? So what are you still doing there? yeah A lot of people go to school for seven years. Yeah,
00:54:34
Speaker
ah tom and boy i yeah yeah and we're speaking a lot about legacy. So it was cool to be there for the first win and you've surpassed a hundred. By far the winningest coach for Marymount Lacrosse, from my understanding. So now ah culture changes, program develops, so speak to us about that evolution. What are you holding onto from the beginning? That's still a part of the the heartbeat and what is what has evolved.
00:55:06
Speaker
I think personally for me that obviously I've gotten some great advice from some mentors and I recently sat down with one of them and talked about, you know,
00:55:21
Speaker
but after 20 now, right? He's a guy who's experienced a lot and gone to, you know, new heights, but has journeyed around and held at some different positions. ah The advice that I had gotten and received is something that, you know, makes a big difference in regards to just how that shaped. Early on, I i didn't let little things bother me. I didn't get as much out of the coaching component as I should have, right? I have had some great assistants come along.
00:55:57
Speaker
and taught me different things, the value
Program Successes and Challenges
00:55:59
Speaker
of certain statistics, the value of different types of prep, ah different speeches like you've talked about, had some guys give some whoppers, and i'm you know I'm the only one left to know that. And the inevitability as a head coach is that assistants will, you know they they do move on. I love to keep them all for as long as I have. I've been very fortunate to have some guys on my staff that have been with me a good long time now. you know and that consistency makes a big difference and I think that in our most recent success that has had a lot to do with that and finding other guys that are as you know relentless and and as focused
00:56:43
Speaker
on making this program what it can be is has been a huge help, right? they They want to do anything that they can to help the program win. And the mindset has definitely changed with guys. I think, you know, we met, like you talked about, we did some of those happy hour things like watching old game films like through COVID because we were trying to fill the hours. We were doing some things with the team then too that we talked about.
00:57:08
Speaker
And one of the things that said was that there was going to be guys that come out of this. There's going to be teams that come out of this that make this an excuse and watch the program go a different direction. We're going to sit here and turn around and make that. And some guys embodied it. And one guy in particular, man, he lost like 80 pounds.
00:57:27
Speaker
he we we we He took your workout with the bucket and the center block and all the sand, and you know he took that to the umpteenth degree and and lost 80 pounds. He was from an attack to a min. He was all-conference captain by the time it was over, and it was 100% that guys saw that.
00:57:47
Speaker
And we're like, yo, know if he can do it, I can do it. And that level of, that's just been the attitude. That's been the difference. You know, I think maybe in those some of those middle years, right? That, you know, we had some super big highs and some super big lows, right? The roller coaster.
00:58:07
Speaker
I had to go through that to figure out what it was. you know I had to battle through some different things, but also was fortunate to have you know some different advantages that came along. like The time came where we finally you know had gotten support. We had received different levels of support from alumni, from the administration, and it just It was crucial. it would it it was It was critical to the development of what's going – where the team has gone and how it's how it's progressed. So I think that you know time will tell where it goes from here.
00:58:48
Speaker
I don't want to necessarily. like We can't count on anything. All of the prior experiences have led me to understand that. You know like you you can't can't count anything before it's done, but it's something that these guys are hyper-focused and they care. you know The amount of guys that care are you know far out shadow the ones that are haven't reached that light bulb moment to go off. you know Sometimes it takes a little bit of time to get there. Yeah. Oh, yeah. And that coach with you for three years, the biggest thing is I wanted it more than the guys. So that that was my challenge is to to understand now versus I still had a connection with the guys that I was a team
00:59:39
Speaker
they were my They were my teammates, now they were my athletes. Still had that connection, but then there was new blood coming through that didn't understand. They they didn't see how much I cared. They didn't understand, so then made plenty of mistakes to that I still have learned from. that That first one, two, three years coaching was invaluable. yeah So many failures on my end in in respect to communication.
01:00:06
Speaker
ah And so it was important for me, like that block, but I can still see the growth now that, I mean, you've had 20 years to continue to reflect and refine, reflect, refine. So it's amazing. But that's what you do, too, though. You're always going to want it more. That's what I'm doing, I'm doing it. I'm always going to want it more than everybody else.
01:00:30
Speaker
right like I'm the first one that gets judged. I'm the last one that has to answer for everything that everybody else makes that mistake. like you know This isn't for the faint of heart. Like I said, it doesn't the it's not the the job that pays like this ridiculous amount of money. or error you know and you know I have spent my youth standing in the freezing cold.
01:00:51
Speaker
you know what I mean, out there not doing anything but just trying to demand better of young men in the prime of their life where they they have the world right in front of them. you know So it takes a lot to to do those types of things and and to put yourself out there that way. So I i feel like you do want to find like-minded people. I love you know some of the stuff that you've shared. I love you know following that and God bless the you know algorithm of you know online stuff and social media that you watched a couple of those things once or twice and you sit there and you reviewed it again to use it for yourself. And then now you're just you know more and more things kind of come my way because of that. you know Different books, different um you know talks, different speeches, different podcasts. It just
01:01:36
Speaker
all of a sudden kind of like, that you know, they learn what it is that you're trying to achieve and grow, and you can use some of it. Some of it, it you know, I find it is reoccurring, you know, like you just, you find like you're repeating yourself, right, or you that you hear some of the same things. Sure. But it's something that um you're still in the arena. Yeah. You're still there. You know what I mean? Like the chance, you know, I get asked quite often by new recruits, coach, are you, you're, you're going to stay they're like you're here for a while. And it's like, man, I don't know. I don't know anything else. I don't know anything different. you know I still get a Jones in every day to walk up that hill but you know on that river and head to practice and just to be at practice. I love the games and everything like that, but you know going to practice every day and being around these guys is really, that's that's the heart of it all, you know to to have that purpose. Guys need purpose. ah Men need purpose. They need to have something that
01:02:39
Speaker
to belong to that's bigger than them, that requires more than what they know that they have, and just it's in the—you're fighting the good fight. Oh, yeah. And then in in respect to that, the—I've had people that, all oh, I played college lacrosse.
01:02:58
Speaker
And then they're like, oh, interesting. Division three. And they start to look down and then say Marymount and they start to look down. So the more they know, the more they want to look down. And I'm like, dude, I wouldn't change any of this. Right. Any of it. Right. Just the odd balls that we all came together.
01:03:15
Speaker
And I love every single one of them, and standing in their weddings. The rogue the rogue heroes. Oh, yeah. And then us embracing that role. Oh, yeah. And by by the senior by senior year, we were we were something else, yeah especially on defense. Those were always the things, man. I'm sure there's every person touts it, but there is a way that it's done here. And it's you know it is taking like the ragtag. you know the bad news bears aspect of it, you know the the the junkyard dogs. you know like oh yeah Yeah, that's what it's about. so Bernie the dog. You gotta be the dog. Yeah, the and I have to share it. It's by far my favorite story, and I tell like tell this so often. I love it. It was the sit Hampton-Sydney upset. yeah So I do want to get your side, the story, because I got i got mine. It was great. We're warming up.
01:04:08
Speaker
and or we're not even starting warming up because how will we work 60 minutes pre-game 60 minutes starts we get to pass around a little bit stretch yeah do this move then we gear up yeah so we're we're playing catch and then it's time to gear up Hampton City starts their lap and how how and i'm like speaking to people who are unfamiliar so they start their lap they're going around their end zone like using football terminology behind their goal and they're wrapping around their field What they should do is take a hard left at their 50 yard line, their midline and continue just on their half of the field. Correct. What Hampton City decided to do.
01:04:47
Speaker
is take that lap and then continue to run around our end of the field. So they're going around our back end, our end zone. Our goalies have to stop their warmup, and they're hooting and hollering and getting loud, like yeah trying to establish dominance on our home field. yeah I'll come back to that. So there now all of us are just on our sidelines as they're rounding the end zone.
01:05:12
Speaker
They're in a line of two, 40 guys, and they're hooting and hollering, and they're just splitting us as we're putting our pads on. And so I'm towards the end of, I'm closest to the box, I'm towards the end of their hooting and hollering, and I'm next to a freshman.
01:05:30
Speaker
just Jack Black, dude. Sean Latimer. Latimer. Yeah. Just the every essence of the program. Oh, yeah. Latimer. This is this guy. 6'4". He never touched the field, but yeah, he was absolutely- Never touched the field, never touched the weight, but he's jacked. Physical specimen. Yeah. Yeah. So I'm getting dressed next to Latimer, and so Latimer he would He's not having any of this. Oh, he saw it. He saw it. Oh, yeah. I was at the box behind. I was helping getting you know the table organized as they were doing that and and looked up and see it late. And I'm like, man, these guys really doing this? I remember seeing Cory Carpenter dump a bucket of balls.
01:06:09
Speaker
Oh, yeah. In front of him. You know what I mean? Like, oh, you want to run on our sidewalk? Because, you know, he's a Maryland kid, and he understands. He's like, yeah, you don't do this and in our county. No. Yeah. so So Latimer, he just pulls down his pants. He's got his drawers on. He puts his cup on. I think he was just naked. I think he was literally wearing some SpongeBob SquarePants. Like, he was standing there in just his drawers. And a cup. So he's got a boxer's cup, and he's wearing a cutoff sleeveless shirt.
01:06:39
Speaker
like crop and it's got one pit bull mounting another pit bull. And then on that shirt, it says, every dog has its day. And so Sean just stands and splits the line. And it's like I'm hiding behind him. Oh, he's eyeing every guy. Every single guy. Looking right in their face. And they're hooting and hollering. And as they pass Sean, mute, shut up. Dead silent. Zip, zip, zip, zip. One of those guys knew, had never seen, or was gonna have something to say to that guy. Yeah, so it's just like, tight butthole, tight butthole, tight butthole as they're running down. And I'm like, oh my god, this is amazing. Yeah. From that moment, they all shut up, went to their little huddle on the sideline, and we just came out and freaking steamrolled them. Yeah.
01:07:26
Speaker
it was mate that That was the best thing. They were number 13, I believe. 13? Yeah. so it's in its I definitely would have to look at at the ranking, but they they they do a great job of keeping the records and stuff like that, but they were 13, 14, 15 at some point like that. We were unranked. I remember that being you know one of the games that year was the biggest upset in D3. There was like one other game. Somebody had beaten Roanoke or something that year, and it was like a huge one.
01:07:53
Speaker
and But that was up there, like an absolutely unranked team, 20, 26 guys. and And you say they have 40, I think they had like 50 guys then. It was, you know, and all from the best schools, the best facilities, the best things that possibly could be. And yeah, i yeah that was that that was something that, you know, looking back on too, that was early. That was that was year two. Three? Yeah, I was senior. No, did I? No.
01:08:22
Speaker
Hey, we're senior year. Yeah, hammer and I are. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh yeah. And then yes, Scotty and I got game balls for that one. The ah tip of the cap to the D mid. So I appreciate that. Yeah. ah But I want to give the game ball to Latimer and then Jackson's older brother. Yeah. Yeah, oh my gosh. So i'mnna I'm gonna throw this clip in there just because it's up on the YouTubes. Oh yeah it is.
Team Stories and Reflections
01:08:50
Speaker
But our our film guy, Joe Gags, that year, he's he's filming and Jackson's brother's on the sideline and parents start talking trash to him because he's hooting and hollering. Oh he was giving it back. I think it happened all game. I don't know that I was paying attention to the like every word that they said but they'd had it. Oh. like
01:09:08
Speaker
But they're like, is this your home field? Is this your home field? Trying to talk down to him. He's like, yeah who cares? You just lost. ah I think it was a couple other colorful words in there. yeah It was awesome. yeah Epic and clearest day on the camera.
01:09:21
Speaker
bolt with about no know
01:09:36
Speaker
And it was like they were standing next to it when it happened. He's like, is this yours? He's like, I don't care. You just lost. And they lost. Yeah, that was terrible. I think second half. ah Hammer like almost pitched it near shutouts like nine to one.
01:09:53
Speaker
second half. And I remember, ah you know, Coach Rostin have a ton of respect for that guy as a legend. ah You know, he was a head coach at the time, I just remember seeing him so upset. And there's some things that visibly for me, you know, I'm sure that I've been that guy. But when I get upset, I kind of just
01:10:13
Speaker
especially in front of the guys. I don't i look bad. I don't i'm just i go stoic. i just I don't have a reaction. Guys know I'm upset, so they avoid me. right I'm not so visibly shaken and screaming at everybody. It's never been you know my kind of style and of getting upset. But I love seeing other guys do it. I love seeing that happen with other coaches, and I just remember him just tear and tear and guys up on the side and you know you knew you know when you got a team oh yeah when that happens you know that you're like we're gonna we're gonna win this you know i remember you know beating cnu and seeing that same thing happen um i remember you know
01:10:56
Speaker
beating St. Mary's, Mary Wash, and I remember just you know some of those coaches that you know they were there at the time like absolutely losing it on the sideline yeah because they thought that this was the end of the world. And and man, and those to me, like you said, you remember that guy hitting that guy and doing that? I will never forget those things. you know i never Never forget that, the feeling I had and just sitting there and just being like,
01:11:22
Speaker
Yeah. Smiling and just, you know, enjoying it. the There's an energy, two games. You can feel it in real time, but then that that's the memory. Like, I don't i don't remember the scores, but remember the energy, the feeling, the moments, some of the plays, and I mean, 20 years removed, ah more or less, like, still hold on to it. And then,
01:11:46
Speaker
I'm still seeing my buddies. The scoreboards are off the table, but it's just the ridiculousness, like Corey rolling the balls out for those guys. Yeah, just dubbed it, right.
01:11:59
Speaker
ah But yeah, to to to wind it down, man, there there was there was so much personal growth from one, two, three years as captain, of three years coaching that that that andt exponentially just changed the whole trajectory of of not only my career but my life. So I'm forever grateful for the the like the relationship. if If the tyrannical coach was still in place, I still would have played because that's just who I am.
01:12:30
Speaker
But at the same time, I probably would have turned into that coach. Yeah. Because that would be the only thing I knew. Who knows? Who knows what you would have done? Like, yeah, maybe you would have just gone to school to go to school. Like, and I say you would ah you had't you would have stuck it out, but maybe you wouldn't have put into it what you did. Maybe you know being a captain of that situation wouldn't have been something that you would have been interested in. You know, you could you could look back. yeah I'm a big person on fate.
01:12:57
Speaker
You know, and I think the older... Well, for that first group, yeah. There is only one thing that could have brought us all together. Yeah. have For sure, for sure. I think that, you know, there's a lot to be said for that. And I i wonder quite often, like, you know, looking back and be like, well, man, Eli said, i what would you have changed? I don't know.
01:13:21
Speaker
I don't know that I would have changed a lot. There are some guys that I feel like maybe I failed. You know what I mean? I did it. But you know what? Those guys as well too, the ones that don't stick it out, the ones that didn't stick it out, then I feel, you know what?
01:13:37
Speaker
you know, the looking back, it was their loss, you know what I mean? I'm sure they stay connected with some of the guys, but not necessarily to the level of connection that I get together with guys now that I don't know why we never did this, but it's been something now too that we do this with guys that I played with. And it's something I, you know, I hope and wish that everybody does.
01:13:58
Speaker
that your class does and get groups of guys. its It's more than just like homecoming weekend, but we kind of started this and hopefully it stays like a yearly tradition of where, you know, you get together with guys and hopefully more and more we can include like, you know, some guys in addition have come, you know, and it's it's just been a great experience to get a group of guys together and just literally, I don't know that I laugh as much as I ever do. Like my my lungs hurt.
01:14:23
Speaker
my chest hurts coming out of it. There's just shenanigans talk that happens from all the stuff that but that we did, you know? and um And looking back at it now, like, there is something to be said for all the stuff that occurred, you know, when you were there. And, man, I look, but it's a source of pride in every sense of the word. Oh, yeah. And then you got two Hall of Famers from those teams, which is pretty phenomenal. Yeah. And they they they definitely deserve it.
01:14:53
Speaker
ah for sure, and then the shenanigans, like you said. yeah I shared some of our cheeky fun shenanigans with the the team in one of my talks. yeah yeah but I hope they don't get caught trying to to redo those. but i i So here's the thing that I do want to give so much credit to where it's like, I i think every, looking back at it now, and this is no knock to our current guys. If you were to ask me,
01:15:20
Speaker
What has changed about guys from when I was here to when I took over to to now, right? Is just that guys now, you know, we we go as coaches and we hang out with the, you know, we reward the seniors after graduation, like we go and we take them out.
01:15:46
Speaker
And you know ah again, it's guys telling stories and and you know saying thanks, but also oh welcome to the alumni, right? Welcome to being and to this side of it. you know Thank you for the time that you gave and the blood, sweat and tears that you put into this program and to know that you know maybe whatever, regardless of what everyone else thinks, you know I personally value that.
01:16:11
Speaker
And my opinion matters greatly, right? Especially when it comes to the program. So, ah but I do think that, you know, what it comes down to is something that um they're less creative. They're just not, they're they're not, you know, ah you guys mirrored a lot of some of the stuff that we did as players. And I'll tell you what, you know, I appreciate that, i you know, what what that was. That's definitely was a lot of fun.
01:16:39
Speaker
ah i I love it. It yeah just brings me so much joy from feeling down. I think it's just something something silly adventure that we got into. yeah And even walking around campus today, I'm like, memory, memory, memory. And I mean, we didn't have TikTok, we didn't have tiktock we didn't have it's social media. Like Facebook just started, so we had no choice but to just use our imaginations to just be stupid.
01:17:05
Speaker
yeah Yeah, and I think that, you know, it wasn't, you could say that it was to be stupid, but it was almost just, it was it was it was boys being boys. Well, well with within respect to like a task like shoveling the whole field, we're going to find some humor in this. yeah We're still going to complete the task. yeah yeah but it's just going to be hilarious in how we organize this snow that just so happened to be positioned like it was. Yeah. They they still do some stuff. I get them together. Hey, I need you guys to do this. I need you to have host something and then get the get the team together. What? Did you get calls from the president?
Gratitude and Conclusion
01:17:50
Speaker
There's a hierarchy. It changes. You know, I used to get that to be like, you know, yeah we're we're dr buds you oh man ah Wow, i'm I'm having flashbacks. I mean, ah we'll wrap it there, but just I want to have this conversation to show how grateful I am. Because in the the coaching career, you run into so many coaches that They have a despise for their their college level coach or their high school coach. And there's this vendetta that they succeeded in spite of. yeah And and i don't I don't appreciate that. if If I have a negative experience with a coach, now I'm going to turn and think, how can I?
01:18:33
Speaker
avoid that conflict or why did that conflict happen and redirect it? So, yeah, within our positive, healthy relationship, and here we are hanging out 20 years later, okay, what was valuable there and why yeah was there this reverberation of impact?
01:18:49
Speaker
So, aim is to highlight a lot of that here, so I'm grateful for everything, including your time today. And so, I'm going to continue to come back and just... Yeah. It does me well to see, you know, you doing well. I think there's an old song, it's no frown, unless my friends can have some, you know what I mean? And that's something where, you know,
01:19:13
Speaker
It just means a lot to to have that, you know what I mean? And and it it does be well to see guys do well that came through the program. And and that's what, more or less, I think, is so so much that it's all about. you know And and there's there's for us to be able to to get together and do this. And I you know appreciate that opportunity. And it definitely is. ah It's cool. It's my first podcast. so with well We all started somewhere. So if people want to follow the team this season,
01:19:42
Speaker
2025, which they do. We're Instagram, right? Yeah. Yeah. We are on Instagram. We are on the Facebook, which is probably more for a lot of the, you know, the parents, right? Instagram. ah They do a pretty good job. You know, that the sports information department here has done like, you know, tenfold of, you know, just getting better at the production of Different, you know videos and and and just highlighting some of the things that happened for all the sports that are here ah But I think that you know if I could say anything I'm not gonna put to a point to be like hey, you know what this is, you know You gotta come you gotta come check us out this year cuz we got something cooking. Here we go. Oh, yeah. All right game. Yeah Arlington, Virginia
01:20:28
Speaker
where we're located, check out the boys, have some fun. I'm going to aim to make it for a game. Thanks, Coach. Thank you. Appreciate you, man. Yeah. Thank you for tuning in to another episode of the Captains and Coaches Podcast. If you like what you heard here today, be sure to like, subscribe, rate, review the show, and look for a new episode every Wednesday. If you are a coach or an athlete looking for a training program that combines movement and leadership, head to captainsandcoaches.com. Also, be sure to follow on Marymount Lenz Lacrosse Team on Instagram at Marymount M. Lacks. They've got a great media team. and I'll be following along all season as they seek their first ever NCAA bid.
01:21:10
Speaker
Congratulations to Coach Reynolds on his 20th year, 2005. So long ago, man, I was glad to be there for the first win. Looking forward to seeing you in your first tournament win at the end of the season. Good luck, boys. Rooting for you. Once a saint, always a saint. and Thank you, listeners, for helping us raise the game. Bye.