Transcript
Speaker: Ah, back in the room. ah back in the room and glad that you could join us for the ADHDville Summer Special number four.
Speaker: So let's go to a place where the distractions are, landmarks, the detours on the main roads. Welcome to ADHDville.
Speaker: Marvellous.
Speaker: Hello, I'm Martin West. I was officially diagnosed with a combined ADHD poo-poo platter in 2013 and highly suspected autistic. And Paul's out for the first week of September, but keeping his seat warm is Amy. Hello!
Speaker: Hello! My name is Amy. Thank you. I'm happy to be back. This is my sidekick, Jake. um I was not formally diagnosed with ADHD, but after many years in therapy, have discovered I have some neurodivergent tendencies.
Speaker: Who knows where that's going to go? I'm a highly sensitive person. and I'm very happy to be filling in for Paul while he wears his suspected Speedo at the beach that we don't judge him for.
Speaker: Well, he did Or even know if he's wearing. ah He did say... Let me just pull up his... He did write something about his Speedos. Oh, so on last week's podcast, he wrote, a good job, guys.
Speaker: Speedos. I can confirm that the Speedo spectrum is not vast. even easily described as a tight kept range. So it sounds like you may have one or zero. I can't decide. Now, do you watch Curb Your Enthusiasm?
Speaker: i don't. I've not seen a single a single one for no reason other than just hasn't been in front of my eyes. Yeah.
Speaker: Okay, so it's like my reason for a living and there's an episode, but I understand it's very, it could be very polarizing. There's an episode where Larry, the main character, has a therapist that he really likes and then one day Larry goes to the speech to the beach and he sees his therapist in a Speedo and he's like, I can't go to him anymore. And so he stops going.
Speaker: well I mean, like, have you, have you ever, I mean, I've, I've seen, i think I've seen not not very many therapists, probably two or three.
Speaker: Have you, have you ever seen them out in the wild, like out of the office? Yes. Have you? No. and You've never run into the one that you're going to.
Speaker: No, never. Oh, okay. I did once and it was when we were still kind of new and we were on the subway platform and I just said, hi. And then i I was like, oh, have a good day. And then I just, i kept walking. Cause I was like, I'm not going to sit with her. right and then, yeah. And then it was funny. She start to charge you if you. A hundred percent. She'd be right. Well, that's 10 bucks of conversation right there.
Speaker: I would be like, this subway ride is not in my monthly therapy budget. um But it was interesting because she brought it up at our next session. She was just like, how did you feel?
Speaker: and I was so thrown off by the question. Right. I just said, weird. But I felt like it would be very awkward to sit together.
Speaker: and she was just kind of like... I don't know. I don't remember. i I think she was like, yeah, you're right. But I was so shocked that she brought it up. I wasn't expecting, I thought we were just going to both like ignore it and pretend it never happened.
Speaker: ah Yes. That's how it should be. Surely. Yeah. I mean, I agree. i have, it's this thing, right? Where if you see people out of context,
Speaker: It takes my brain like a little while to work out who the hell you are. Because if if you're not, you know, fixing my teeth or you're not cutting my hair or you're not, you know, whatever it is, then, you know, i I don't know who you are in this.
Speaker: Yeah. ah In the world. Like when you were little and you would see like a teacher, they always say like, Outside of school? Yikes. What? i mean Is that a real thing? did Do they even exist outside of school?
Speaker: I mean, my boyfriend's a teacher, but I feel like if I were a student, I would just assume he goes and he sleeps in his coffin. comes back out at the beginning of the school year it's just it's so bizarre so you have never had that now did they ever had a therapist once who said we might run into each other and if we do here's like the protocol like did you ever have a therapist say that to you oh god no i know it's so weird it's so weird
Speaker: ah It is. All right. Well, we're we're we're back um doing the the the the reading from the ADHD-ville Gazette, um as we will be for the rest of the summer until Paul comes back ah at the beginning of se se September. And for anyone who doesn't think that the ADHD-Vill Gazette is is is is real...
Speaker: Here it is. Look. Here it is. Here's the paper, right? it's oh my God. I love it It's a real... And if you're watching on YouTube, that is a totally legit printed copy of ADHDville, the Gazette, of which we will be reading stuff out of. Love it.
Speaker: I know, I know. All right. And I think I am going to go... first, I was caught by this ah front page article which ah said it says, ah my beetle was telling me i had ADHD but I wasn't listening. So So this is about, well, so my, first off, my brother has just bought a nice yellow Volkswagen Beetle.
Speaker: Very clean, very nice. Yellow, I love that. Yeah, it's kind of like a ah sort of a a nice sunshiny yellow. Oh it's beautiful. um And my first car was a Volkswagen Beetle. That's the first thing that I bought with my own on.
Speaker: my god that's incredible really yeah it was very nice it was a very nice it was it was in a in a more an orangey yellow like sort of yeah it was it was very bright and it was fun and and looking at so i was thinking about beetles then i was thinking about oh my god us you know like us in cars i don't know like
Speaker: yeah Do you have a car? do you do you I mean, you you obviously have a car because you live up here. in in up here Yeah, in Upheresville.
Speaker: um i do I do have a car, and i as an adult, it's the first car I've ever had because I lived in a city my entire adult life until I moved here. um and there's a lot that goes with it.
Speaker: Yeah. Yeah. there is So, so, you know, like this was the first big thing that I kind of owned. Yeah. And it was and looking back, I should, I should have guessed there was something wrong with me.
Speaker: Oh, interesting. Just, just, just, just by how I kind of treated this car. Oh. Because like, because, yeah. it I mean, how old was I? I don't know. i was like 20 or something. um And i would refuse to put gas in it until the very last minute, until until like it was on empty.
Speaker: And i was just, it was so empty that I didn't really know whether I was going to get to the gas station or not. Oh, my God, I do that now. Right. And it happens all the time. It happened all the, like, that was the thing. And then because was poor, put in, like, I don't know, 10 pounds, 10 English pounds worth of petrol in it. Yeah. And then I'd go on some more.
Speaker: And, you know, like, what I kind of realized was was that... was that there is this thing which is like sort of there's a you know like with with with a adhd you can make boring things more interesting you can get dopamine yes if you turn something subconsciously into some sort of like win or lose high risk game yes of can I get to the gas station before I run out now did you ever run out yes no yes where where were you
Speaker: I was on the Brighton Road. Not that that means anything to anyone. Is that a main road? Is that a highway? Like what are we talking about? It's a main road I was easily about a mile. So not too bad. I was a mile from the gas station, from the petrol station. So I had to trudge my way up there and buy. Obviously, you have to buy a bus.
Speaker: a Like a heavy thing. Yeah. To to to put it in. Yeah. And then, off yeah. So I think that happened at least two or three times.
Speaker: Oh, two or three times. Okay. Now, what happens when your car runs out of gas? Is it just like you're driving and it like peters out? Like... Yeah, it just goes and then it's just nothing and then it dies. I have killed a car because I didn't put any oil in it and then that the the engine kind of fails spectacularly. It just kind of grinds and then the whole thing is fucked.
Speaker: And then that whole car was dead. So do you now, this is so funny we're talking about this because the car I have, i just got Six months ago.
Speaker: And either they say like the first six months or the first 6,000 miles, it's time for your first oil change, tire, like all this stuff that I was like, this is what people do.
Speaker: i didn't know this is what people. So just before we got on here, actually, I called and I made the appointment and like. But i it's such a it's such a thing. It's like a whole thing. And I think because you can't see it, it's like, if I don't change the oil, it's worst that can happen. Does it really exist if I if i can't see it? Yeah, exactly. ah What's the worst that could happen? know. And then the other thing ADHD impulsiveness.
Speaker: adh d impulsiveness so I remember once i was I was driving near my parents and I was on on a hill.
Speaker: um And like I had to get out of the car and I can't remember why, but I kind of went out, got out of the car. Perhaps I heard a noise or something. Some other part of my car was falling off, perhaps. And I went out too in in to investigate. But yeah in my haste, I did not put the handbrake on. Right. Right.
Speaker: And it was on a hill. So it just started to roll. And then I got in front of the car and like managed is to hold it there. oh my God. You had, like, superhuman strength, like they say, like in an emergency. And you were able to, like, hold your car. could hold this thing. oh my God. I could...
Speaker: it was just before it went on ah and onto the main road, right? So there's me. And then if I let the car go just go straight and out into the main road. So I can't go anywhere. So I had to ah to find my phone in my pocket and phone my dad With one hand while you're pushing the car with the other hand? Pretty much. Okay. I had to tell dad to say, rescue me. She had to drive around and then get in the car and put the handbrake on so I could, I mean, you know, so the clues were there what I'm saying.
Speaker: Right. The clues were there. Do you think it's that, like you, as far as ADHD goes, it's like, To me, it's like, it's another annoying task in life. And if we can't see it, like with the oil or whatever, like who cares?
Speaker: Right. Well, what's the worst that could happen? Yeah. It's just like another annoying responsibility. Right. it's it's ah it's It's a time blindness thing where it's ah where the car blowing up or running out of gas is a future event right that I don't have to concern myself with. I'm just going to concern myself with the here and now.
Speaker: Yeah. And whatever happens in the future, I'll deal with it then. Yeah. not going worry about it. Yeah. I mean, yeah. it's it's It's annoying. Yeah.
Speaker: It is. Yeah. All right. so that was that was that was my that was my my front page article article. What do you have?
Speaker: Okay. Oh, yes. I have a story. The title is My Body Temperature Regulation is Being Affected.
Speaker: by me. Okay. Now, this actually sort of has to do with your wife. All right. The fabulous Trisha. Trisha and I took a water aerobics class together.
Speaker: okay And we did it near where you guys live. And I was like, this is super fun. It doesn't feel like I'm exercising. So sign me up because you're under the water. So it's like, you don't really feel like you're like lifting anything. So um I went to a place near me by myself and I was like, it was a Y. and I was like, I'm going to try the exercise class.
Speaker: Okay. I go in. First of all, I couldn't find. And this was in like April, May. It wasn't too hot, too cold out. It was like I just had like a little like sweatshirt on.
Speaker: ah First of all, I couldn't find parking. So then I just felt like anxious. I finally found a place to park. I go in. There's a sign on the door. No water today.
Speaker: and I'm like, what is that? Does that mean the pool has no water? Like what's going on? So I walk in. There are about five mature, we'll say women who tend to be the types who take these classes, these water aerobics classes.
Speaker: There's no water. What do you mean? There's no water. Why isn't there water? What does it mean? I don't understand. Are we going to have the class? And I was like, Whoa, I was like so overwhelmed. And I go to the front desk and I was like, what's going on? Oh, there's the, the class, the class is still on. There's just no water in like the bathroom. And I kind of had to go to the bathroom. So I was like, All right.
Speaker: I go, OK. And I was like, I committed. I'm going to take this class. I go. I change. I put on the stupid swim cap. That's like the I mean, this activity is like the least attractive activity. I walk out into the lobby, past all the women in my like swim cap and my bathing suit. And they're still like talking. And it was just like sensory overload with like all the noise and everything.
Speaker: I walk into the pool and there's a woman who's teaching and she was like, I don't know what's going to happen. We might not have the class. And I was like, oh, oh.
Speaker: And then I was just like, I'm going to leave. This is like too overwhelming. So then I... head back through the lobby. The class is canceled. I go in the locker room.
Speaker: I don't know how someone in the locker room was wet since there was no water, but someone was like splashing me as she was changing. And that was very annoying with like little drops of water. And I just was like, I was so my anxiety level was at a high And i I sped out of there and I suddenly felt really cold.
Speaker: And I don't know why. I don't know if it's because I had been in like my bathing suit in this in the lobby and it wasn't really warm or I was outside and it wasn't like warm enough yet. i don't know. But all I know is i came home. I took a hot shower And I put on like sweatpants and I tucked my sweatpants into socks and I put on like a big sweater and I got under like three blankets and I just laid there.
Speaker: It was just and just kind of. so river Yeah. and yeah like but Back to normal slowly. Yes, it was very weird. And a similar thing happened this week, but opposite because it's July now where I had like a stressful experience and I came home and I had to take like a cold shower. So I looked this up and it's called it's called something. Okay.
Speaker: It's called inter interoceptive variance, which is and I was thinking of you with the shower when you got in the shower and you're like, I'm cold trouble noticing when the body is getting too hot or cold until it becomes extreme. Right. Right.
Speaker: So I'm wondering if that, I mean, I guess that's the thing associated with ADHD because this has happened to me before where i feel in extreme temperature one way or the other and I need to like get it regulated.
Speaker: Right, because weirdly, i was love I was looking at this earlier on to today, and it yeah this kind of interospection where if you have ADHD also auto to autism as well, um you may not necessarily be very good about knowing what's going on inside you. um And I was looking at some, and there was some research that basically said, we we do pay attention to what's going on inside us.
Speaker: We're just not very good at working out what it is. And what happens is, is you start to get anxious. Yes. And all these other like stuff starts to happen. Like so for example, you know, you might start to get hot or you might start to itch or like there's all these like it's it starts to come out in that way. And it isn't until later on that you kind of go, hang on a second. no That was because I know, ah you know, because of some, you know, you know, because I haven't.
Speaker: because it was a very stressful situation or because, you know, it's like um you you don't eat and you've and you forget to eat for ages and then you start to feel really irritable and you start snapping around at people and then it isn't until after you get, oh, hang on a second, I haven't eaten all day, Jesus.
Speaker: Yes. no Yes, so we're not particularly good at working out what the hell's going on. Yeah, or like just, I guess, paying attention because you're too stressed out about – like when I was at this pool, all I could focus on were these like five older ladies – carrying on about like, why is there no water? And I just was like, get me out of here. Like the noise is killing me and just the whole thing.
Speaker: And it's like, oh, I didn't realize. It's like, you don't realize what you what you feel like physically inside. Because for me, when I go, when I do go swimming, it's a lot of transitions and having to think about things.
Speaker: So, you know, you have to remember to pack all your stuff. You have to plan it out. You have to kind of, you know, get there on time if you're doing a class and then you have to. you have to find the low lockers and then there's all the faff about getting undressed and getting all your stuff on and the bloody cap. yeah and And then the the thing that stresses me out is having to remember to have the key on me. oh yeah. So that when I padlock the locker, I i have the key. and like Because I have, I don't know, yeah, but i've I've locked the key inside the locker and I've had to call...
Speaker: Then it's a whole other thing. Yes. Then you call the front desk. You have to wait for them to come over. and then some guy comes over with some big sort of wire cutter things and bolt cutters. he they He looks at you like you're a fucking idiot. Yeah.
Speaker: And you go, sorry, mate. Yeah. Sorry. Yeah. like youre a yeah and I'm like, yeah. Yeah. Oh, it's terrible.
Speaker: And the splashing. The splashing.
Speaker: Nothing worse than being like splattered with random water droplets. Oh, it was awful. There is one guy at my local swimming thing who if I see him in the pool, I'm like, oh, God, this is this is awful. He is the splashiest swimmer that has ever swum.
Speaker: he'd like He slaps his legs and arms around. He creates this kind of like this fountain around him. In a public like pool that he shares?
Speaker: Yes. That's so bizarre. that's like so I mean, I don't know. To me, that sounds inconsiderate, but are we being ah hard on it? I mean, is that just how people swim? No, it's just him. Honestly, he's the worst.
Speaker: Oh, everyone's just like, oh, fucking hell, this guy. Yeah. Wow. How interesting. i know. All right. All right. On to... yes onto my onto my uh page three um thing uh i thought you know just to break break this up i've uh it's it's the horoscope it's the adhd field because it horoscope oh i can't wait for this one okay go ahead i don't know what sign you are i'm a virgo
Speaker: All right, well. And what are you? but I'm Sagittarius. What does that mean? i don't know what it means. When's your birthday? ah Mine is it's in December.
Speaker: Okay, got it. um All right. So you you all know your star signs. Watch out for yours. This is ADHDville Gazette horoscope. Yep. Start with Aries.
Speaker: You'll start four four projects before noon. One will stick, ride it out till 2am. The rest, well, that's a future you they future you a problem.
Speaker: Wow. I know. Pretty good for Aries. Right. Taurus, you'll craft the perfect sensory vibe, but then forget to eat the snack you made. You'll eat it cold. Still counts.
Speaker: I relate to that one. Okay. Gemini. Gemini. okay ah gemini Three inner monologues at at once. That's your superpower. You'll find your keys and solve a work problem mid jingle. Oh, that sounds like a good week for you.
Speaker: ah Cancer. You'll cry at a commercial, then lose your phone while holding it. Your heart wins. Your memory loses. Hydrate.
Speaker: Whoa. Okay. That's a brutal one. Well, yeah, it is, isn't it? Yeah. Okay, let's see if Leo has has ah has has more luck. Okay, Leos, you will ah procrastinate for six hours, crush everything in 45 minutes, announce I thrive in chaos to no one in particular. Yeah.
Speaker: So that's good. yeah Virgo, here we go. This is you. know This is me. Yeah, so your so this is what your week looks like. ah You will make a 27-step list, lose it, make a list about finding it, finish the real task by accident.
Speaker: Oh, okay. I mean, as long as the task gets done, that's all right. Okay. I like, I'm not mad at that. ah All right. Libra, 20 minutes, this deciding lunch, ask three friends, still pick the first this week. Flip a coin. Let chaos and decide your lunch takeout.
Speaker: Oh, I like that. I do too. Like, why not? Why not just like leave it to chance? Scorpio, hyper focus engaged six hours later. You're an expert on octopuses.
Speaker: Drink water and then and then intimidate your friends with your new octopus facts. Oh, it sounds about right.
Speaker: Wait a minute. Like, I just learned about octopuses and how smart they are by the way. you want Scorpio? Maybe you're like a sort Scorpio rising. I don't know what the terms are. but Oh, right. Like the moon and the sun. Yeah, yeah, yeah I have no idea. i don't either.
Speaker: Yeah. um All right. Me. Yep. Sagittarius. Brain says, you travel, podcast, ch-chuggle, do none. Although I'm actually doing doing this, so so that's that's wrong for a start. ah right Write all your all your random thoughts down Pick the hilliest Do it badly Motion over perfect perth Perfection Actually I quite like that that Motion over me too
Speaker: over Perfection line thats That sounds like A a motivational t-shirt 100% Because it's like ah Take action Yeah.
Speaker: And don't worry about being perfect. Just take action. Wait, i love yours. Yours is my favorite. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. yeah the best Save the best for a last, they say Well, not quite because we have Capricorn next. ah ah your your Your planner says 9 a.m. Your brain says 11 p.m. Your best work runs on chaos. Cold tea is your muse.
Speaker: So... that but just that just sounds like you're gonna have a chaotic week yeah that's what it sounds like to me and your tea's gonna be cold and that's yeah yeah i know well yes it is yeah yeah don't do i drink yeah iced tea that oh okay oh okay i didn't know okay i thought they were saying like your tea like that's supposed to be hot is going to be cold and i was like that's like the worst part of the whole thing Right.
Speaker: Although, I mean, how many times have I made myself a cup of tea and then forgotten it? and Oh, really? Okay. And then it's cold. And then I think, shall I drink it? Right. Shall I drink it and then just pretend that it's iced?
Speaker: It was iced tea all the time. You what mean? It was always iced tea. And can you? You know what? I can't. I know.
Speaker: I ah can't force my brain to pretend it was I don't blame you. Yeah. Yeah. Because it's lukewarm and there's no ice in it. So it's kind of like a lose-lose.
Speaker: Yeah, I mean, as long as it doesn't have mold on the top. Yeah. That's always a that's man. that I mean, like, yeah, when I was young, it was like I would find tea cups or coffee cups and they'd just be like a little green layer on the top.
Speaker: What do you mean? ah Wait, like ah like a tea that was left out with a film of mold on it? Yeah. Wait, what? What are Wait, how long was it left out for? oh I don't know. Since the early sixties, have no idea.
Speaker: It was just, I mean, like, yeah, so this was, I don't do it now, but, but like, I'm just thinking back when I was young, I would make cups of tea, half drink them, forget them, leave them somewhere, find them again. And there's whole ecosystem. Yeah.
Speaker: e ecosystemm here's Here's my question. As someone who's British, I mean, I really don't know anything about this. Like, how old are you when you start drinking tea? Are you like seven years old and you're drinking tea?
Speaker: yeah all I can do is just pull on my own experience, which kind you kind of As soon as you start going around, well, tea is every everywhere, right? So, you know, you would go visit your aunt or your uncles and be like, oh, do you want a cup of tea? Oh, yeah, love a cup of tea, right? So you start drinking tea quite early.
Speaker: Okay. um And then when you go around to your friend's house at school, know, after school or before whatever, you would just carry on. So you go around your friend Steve's house and Steve would go, do you want a cup tea? And I go, yeah, I'll have a cup of tea. Really?
Speaker: And then you then you make tea. to just Just right. Like two little kids? Yeah. Yeah, I mean, we're going going yeah i mean yeah we'd be going to school or coming back from school and I'd go around to Steve's house because he's on the way and and he'd make a cup of tea. He would make a pot of tea, not a tea bag in a pot. He would get out the pot. He'd do the whole pot thing.
Speaker: A child? Well, yeah, I mean, you know, what, we're about, you know, 12? Oh my God, that's so sophisticated. Yeah. and And the thing is, is that is that you really didn't want to let your friends down by making a shitty cup of tea. Okay. Yeah, of course. So you had to make sure that your tea game was on point.
Speaker: My mate Steve, who used a pot, made a fucking brilliant cup of tea. So it was like, I do not want to make a bad cup. So you would perfect your tea game there. Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah. And then, yeah, so it's kind of inbred. Wait, that's wild that like, that like children in the UK or have, know how to make like a brilliant cup of tea I mean, I can't speak for all of them, but I did. Okay, right. But Steve did. You did. Yeah.
Speaker: We did. It was common. at At least I felt it was common. Yeah. ah Anyway, let's just finish this ah horoscope because I know that that people who are Aquarius and Pisces are going, what the hell?
Speaker: Oh, god okay. Get on with with with mine. So Aquarius, you invent a genius system. Get dis get dis this get dis distracted. um and you're wi But your weird ideas are per ah pure gold. Make sure you scribble them down. So um okay some advice there. Yeah. Scribble down your ideas. Okay.
Speaker: And lastly, Pisces, lose an hour watching the clouds. Set time is for work. You'll forget what the timer was for, but you'll remember a a poem from 2009. So that's a win.
Speaker: I like that. I think there were two of them that talked about set a timer, set a reminder, but it won't matter because you're going to forget it. That's okay. youve Yeah, like beep, beep.
Speaker: What was that for? Yeah. What did say that for? It doesn't matter because everything's going to work out. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Love it. Next article?
Speaker: Go on to, yeah, yeah. On to your last, second and last ah article. Mine is Someone wrote in and said, when I have plans at night, my day is ruined.
Speaker: Is this ADHD? And the person who wrote in was me. Because this happens to me all the time. And again, I did research.
Speaker: And, oh, no, I'll tell you why I did research. I didn't even know that this was, this could be ADHD related, neurodivergent related. But I saw, it's one of these things where TikTok was like reading my brain because I happened to have plans the other night. And I was like,
Speaker: feeling dreading them, not because of the person, but just because i have trouble when I have plans at night. And TikTok, a video came up and this girl said, how come when I have plans at night, my day is ruined? And all the comments said, oh it could be ADHD. It could be neurodivergence. So I looked it up and there's something called waiting mode or evening event paralysis. And this is when you sort of, for whatever reason, get into like a mental situation
Speaker: freeze, making it feel like the day and the hours in the day are like unusable until that evening event. So how do you feel about this? Yeah. yeah You feel this too?
Speaker: Yeah. It's, it's, it's, it's fairly, yeah. It's a common experience. Like if there's something big happening that, that, that day, your, your, your entire brain is just focused on that thing.
Speaker: Plus, it's so scared because it knows that if you start doing something else that that that you that you'll lose all track of time and then you'll be late for the thing.
Speaker: Right. So you don't want to start anything. So that's it. That's it. your You're screwed until you do the big thing. Yeah. And i I can't figure out how to um how to make it better and not waste the day. But then i read something that said, for that day, just do things that are very low pressure, like low hanging fruit. No big things.
Speaker: You know, maybe like a couple of tiny things around the house. And that way you won't get, you won't forget, you won't lose track of time. and you won't feel, i think for me, I feel like i have to do a bunch of stuff during the day and then go go do this thing at night. But if you do like a little thing during the day, it's not like you have a big daytime activity and a big nighttime activity.
Speaker: Right. Yeah. i tend to be okay doing small, quick tasks. Yes. I'm going to try that next time. Just series of them. Yeah. Yeah. Like going around the house, picking things up or just shoving a load of laundry in or something that's fairly, doesn't really require your brain much Right.
Speaker: Right. Or a lot of like running around. Like to me, like laundry is doable because it's just, you're picking up a pile of clothes and you're going from one room to the laundry room.
Speaker: But I don't think I don't think i could like clean the house. like I feel like that would be like too much running around. Oh, yeah. Yeah. So I think... No, way too much. That's like a big, big task. Yeah, yeah. yeah That's like a sort of a whole sort weekend. Yeah. Oh, 100%. So when I saw this, I was like, this is one of these things I saw that I was like...
Speaker: it's sort of helping me in my journey, like where I thought, what's wrong with me that i freak out so much when I have these evening plans. But, but then I learned this can be a symptom.
Speaker: It's a thing. Yeah. It's a thing, which made me feel better. Oh, you know what? that That's, that is the beauty of,
Speaker: knowing other people and chatting about stuff. I know. It's so true. I know. And then weirdly, as the more and more it goes on, you kind of go,
Speaker: Have I ever had a completely unique experience? Right. Or everything that I do, it it's it's not quirky and different itant and weird. It's just, it's the same as these people over here. It's all exactly the same. They've all done and think the same as I do.
Speaker: Yeah. I've never had an original thought. i know know Yes, it does feel like that. Yeah. but But it's good, though, because it because ah because at least we're not alone.
Speaker: Yes. Thank God. Hooray. Oh, well, that was that was awesome. Let me just, um right, well, that takes us, the we're going to go to the letters section.
Speaker: Look on the back. Yes. go All right. All right. Well, we, um, from last week's poddy pod, uh, we up and look at this, uh, uh,
Speaker: when when when you were talking about your, you know, ah having to wear like a sports bra and it's too cold and and then, you know, someone months says, oh, you know, you should just use a head hair dryer on it and then it just becomes a whole other thing. So so so on TikTok, Melly Mel said, oh my, so relatable. Yeah, sometimes the tools...
Speaker: become a problem all on their own hundred percent yeah exactly and quiet glyph said too much effort ah forget it the point is you want it to be as little effort as possible now you're pulling tools in no thanks yeah know yeah uh and then uh alexandra um She, on TikTok, she as as as she does, she she always writes a really lovely and amazing, well thought out comments are on a YouTube. you should
Speaker: You should all definitely go and go and read her comments because they're class. Yeah. but But one thing that she that that she did talk about was, you know, was this, i you were talking about, you know, on last week's podcast about how you, you know, like if you're looking on social media and Instagram and whatever, there's that thing where you think,
Speaker: other people are all, you know, all, you know, they behave in a certain way and they're all fantastic and all perfect. And they're all like, oh, I miss my husband. And I give him a big kiss when he comes in the front door. And and you think, well, I'm not like that. I'm not um what's wrong with with me.
Speaker: and And she and Alexandra writes that, Amy, all of these women on TikTok possibly lie. Yep. um I definitely don't believe everything i see. And I was saying that to a friend of ours um ah about how weird it is that most people use the platforms to mask their lives when what when when what mostly neurodivergent people do is to use them, the platforms, to unmask and connect people.
Speaker: so you know yes you know so we've got neurodi- neurotypical people who are kind of like projecting a sort of a a sort of a a very nice version of their lives where everything looks kind of it's the best version of their lives whereas whereas and it's and it and it's true we tend to kind of skew the other way we'll we will get comfy in our in our oddness, I guess, and um will'll yeah um we'll show you what our lives are really like. And and if and everyone goes, oh, I can relate to that.
Speaker: You know, I never like really thought of it like that until I read Alexandra's comment. And it's so true because when you look at, like I remember when when we moved, when Sean and I moved here, and I really used TikTok for a lot of,
Speaker: decorating inspiration. You should see these people's home or the way that they present their homes makes me feel like I live in a dump. At my house, like I've really worked hard to make it nice, but it's like no matter what, thank you. But no matter what, it's like you compare yourself And you just like don' you just feel less than. But then Alexandra pointed out, like yeah, no, like we're we're not using this to compete. like We're genuinely using this platform to say, like hey, I have this like weird thing. What about you? and it's just it's so much better. I wish it were all like that.
Speaker: Right? Yeah. Absolutely. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I think i think that's... um See, I think TikTok has weirdly been...
Speaker: the only social platform that's managed to actually do that. To? You know, to to it tot to actually bring neurodivergent community but together.
Speaker: Oh, my God, really? That's amazing. i mean, because Facebook never did, Twitter never did, um and Instagram never did. Instagram wouldn't. Yeah. wouldn didn't It just doesn't seem to make like what pictures like you can't pictures of my crazy thoughts like it doesn't lend itself to what I think. Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah. Yeah. and ah yeah So um it's yeah, it's definitely been like a game changer. i i think in changing, you know, changing things and building, building communities and yeah.
Speaker: so I think that's amazing. Yeah. um ah see it So she did ask what your what your dog's name was. so dog's name is Jake.
Speaker: There he is. There he is. He has a little crooked face. He's aging and his half of his face, just like he woke up one day and it was like a little paralyzed.
Speaker: Oh. I know, but we took him to the doctor. He's okay. It's just, it's life. We give him m some eye drops so his eyes feel good. So, cause he can't blink one eye.
Speaker: ah But yes, his name is Jake. Oh, he can't blink in one eye. He can't blink one eye. So we have to like put a little eye drop in it to lubricate it. Jake.
Speaker: know. He's little dog. And then, we yeah, she was talking about, know, like when you come home, And, you know, does your partner jump on you? And I was and in the comments. I said, yeah, we know, like, you know, when I come home, not that I kind of tend to come home because I now work at home. But in those instances where I've kind of been away and I come home and my wife's there, it will it will invariably be i have to do a thing straight away. Like I've not even put my keys down or nothing.
Speaker: And I'm already tasked up. Why can't we wait? i can't wait to ask Sean either. I don't know why we cannot wait. It is, it's always like, can you do this now?
Speaker: So I'm sorry. Because I never go, when you have a moment, I don't know why we always jump on someone when they come in, but I do the same thing. I don't know why we cannot give you five minutes, but we just can. I don't know why. Right. Well, yeah i would i would I would think that Like it's sitting in your brain as a task that has to be done and you just want it out of your head.
Speaker: Yep. just want to You just want to sort of, um yeah, you want to delegate yeah that stuff so that so it frees your brain up and you have yeah you can stop worrying about it and you can think about something else.
Speaker: Yeah. I think i think that's that's what it is. And then we're also talking about... um HR about um how icebreakers at HR events, and ah HR the meetings were like the absolute worst.
Speaker: and you were so ah And she was suggesting how, you know, maybe it would be better if if ah HR people were neurodivergent.
Speaker: Maybe things would improve. I think that is the best idea I've heard in a very long time because I had an experience with an HR person that was was so awful. And i I guarantee if this were a neurodivergent people, it would have been handled with much more sensitivity. Yeah.
Speaker: So this was years ago and I, oh God, it's so embarrassing. Okay. I was in one of these single occupant bathrooms at um at a job that I had.
Speaker: Now here's how you can tell it's going to go wrong. You know why? Because it was the kind of lock that you just push. Oh, I don't trust those. I don't either. I feel like that we need to take this to Congress to ban all those locks. you can Especially if you're far away from the lock. Like, I feel like if you're close to the door, you at least can push it closed if someone opens it. Right. You know i mean? But like, oh. If there's a slidey thing, you can see it, right? You can see the s slidey bolt. If it's a push thing, I can't see it.
Speaker: It's like the oil in the car doesn't even exist. It is. You can't. so there's no lock on it i've just pushed a button it's so dumb right so this is so i was in the bathroom i had to push that stupid thing and the toilet was like completely on the opposite side so i'm in the bathroom and i'm peeing and sure enough the door opens and it was a guy named leon from and And I just went, Leon!
Speaker: And he like tried to look away, except the whole bathroom had mirrors on the walls. So he like looked one way, but he could still see me because it was a mirror. And then he like, look the other, everywhere this guy looked, there was my vagina, basically, what's going on. So I was like horrified. I mean, I was like, I can't leave this bathroom now. I'm going to live here. I'm going to die in this bathroom. I'm just going to stay in here forever. So eventually I came out.
Speaker: I was so humiliated and I needed to like tell someone, like I was so embarrassed. So there were these two girls who sat up front and I just went up to them and I was like, I'm mortified. And I told them what happened and they were like, oh my God. Like I just needed to commiserate with someone. i go back to my desk.
Speaker: 20 minutes later, i get a phone call. Hi, this is so-and-so from h r and I was like, oh okay. Yeah, like, okay, hi.
Speaker: You know, um I just got a phone call from Leon and I was like, why is Leon calling HR? go, okay. And she goes, and he told me what happened.
Speaker: And please stop telling people what happened. And I go, huh? I said, first of all, where are you? Do we even have an HR department? Because I've never seen, and I wasn't being nice. Like I wasn't being like, I go, where where are you? i don't understand. And she was like, I'm in Philadelphia. We were in New York.
Speaker: Someone from Philadelphia now is calling to tell me that I got looked in on in the bathroom and and and for some reason I'm wrong. I said, what do you mean stop telling people? I said, I told two people because I was like horrified. Well, somehow I got back to him and he thinks that you're making him sound like a creep.
Speaker: And I just was like, Am I being reprimanded for this? I don't really understand what's happening. It sounds like it. It sounds like it. And she just said, you know, just just don't say anything. First of all, I didn't want it. i'm not spreading this around. There were two girls who I was friends with in the office who I just needed to like.
Speaker: Offer a name. Right. and then ah And then I just i just just said, okay. And I hung up and I was like really angry for like a week. Right. Because I was like.
Speaker: I don't know what i don't know i don't know who how this got back to him that I was so like embarrassed, but like whatever this HR woman, the way she handled it just was not right. That's how I feel.
Speaker: Yeah, definitely so definitely sounded like it was you who had to change your your behavior for some reason.
Speaker: Yes. And I just feel like if she had been a little more sensitive, i would not have gotten a phone call. Like maybe if if he was calling her, maybe she would have said that was probably really embarrassing.
Speaker: And just just wait a day and see if it blows over or something like you should not be calling me about this. Right, because, you know, you you because they have to protect his his fray's fragile male <unk> at all costs.
Speaker: Right, I guess so. Oh my God, it was terrible. But I i mean, have you ever had to deal with someone in HR in like an uncomfortable way? No, I, well, not, not, not, no, not in a, in a really bad, I mean, the thing is about HR is that I understand that they, that they work for the company, they have the company's interests at heart, that's their job, is to make sure that the company runs well, um and it's not really so much about you. Yeah, you're right.
Speaker: It's really about the company that they are that they are crowd protecting. So, um you know, and part of of that is to make sure that the that the will workers are fine and that the company is doing what it should do by by law and all that kind of stuff. Yeah. But um ah where's my...
Speaker: My headphones have gone. Oh, there they are. um But yeah, no. So I, so I, I, I've always kept HR to whatever function that they, I've had to use them. And then I don't, you know, I don't worry about them. Yeah.
Speaker: Wow. Well, that was that that was that was that was a shocking, shocking way to to end this week's ADHD-ville. All right, well join Amy and me and myself next week for another ADHD Summer Sessions. But in the meantime, shall just push the the outro button and then the music will slide in.
Speaker: And then I get to say, ADHD earliest is delivered fresh every Tuesday to all providers of fine podcasts. Please subscribe to the pod and rate us most likely to to HR. LAUGHTER
Speaker: And feel free to correspond at will in the comments. But wait, there's more if you wish to see our beautiful, beautiful faces. Then send you forth to the YouTubes and the TikToks. You can also pick up a quill and email us at adhdwill at gmail.com. But in the meantime, be fucking kind to yourself.
Speaker: And we're all doing the best we fucking can. And that's enough. Come on. There, says the mayor. That's that. Oh, there we go.
Speaker: That was episode two done. I'm just going to this little sound here and then we'll go out.
