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Family Chat: Feeling On The Outside Of Comedy With Thalia Romina
36 Plays1 year ago
In this episode, Thalia Romina @thethaliaromina and I talk about her feeling on the outside as a female comedian.
We Talk About…
- Thalia's start in comedy
- The unspoken rules of the comedy world
- Being a female comic
Resources:
- Follow @thethaliaromina
- Full episode transcription and citations: https://www.taylorraealmonte.com/on-the-outside-podcast
Keep In Touch:
- Visit taylorraealmonte.com
- Instagram @taylorraealmonte
- TikTok @itstaylorraealmonte
- YouTube /@TaylorRaeAlmonte
Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.
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Transcript
Introduction and Farewell to Talia
00:00:06
Speaker
Welcome back. It's your host, Taylor Rae, and this is another episode of On The Outside.
00:00:18
Speaker
Hello, hello, hello. We have another family chat today. And honestly, so sadly, it is Talia's last week hanging out with us. I always feel so sad when it's like the end of an era with one of our
00:00:33
Speaker
who's also someone in my family that I love. But we have a great episode as always.
Being a Female Comedian in New York
00:00:40
Speaker
Talia told us a little bit, her first episode that she's an actor, she's a comedian, she does it all. And today we're gonna get a little bit more into how it feels being a female comedian in New York. What stories does Talia have that make her feel like an outsider? What experience has she had? What are the vibes? She's gonna share it all with us today. Let's get into it.
00:01:03
Speaker
What? She's here, she's back. It's week three with Talia. You're? What's going on everybody? That's how we start. That's how I start all of my texts to you. You're? Yeah. That's what I always text to you. That's true. I text people like that too. Or I'll start, I'll, speaking of comedy, I'll start a show and be like, you're, if I hear it's like New York people and they'll say it back, obviously. Yeah. It's a mating call. I only say it to you. Oh really? Yeah. Cause you're my New York girlie.
00:01:34
Speaker
Wait, really? Yeah, that's, you're the only person I say it to. I'm not just walking around the world like, it's only for you. Yeah. I text you why.
00:01:45
Speaker
you are. That's not like an animal. That's me. Um, so yeah. Okay. Comedy, comedy. That's all you girly. It could never be me. I could never be a comedian. Like I think I'm like he, he ha ha funny, like at home, but not for like the streets, not for like strangers. I think there's a level, there's a combination of like self hatred and narcissism in order for you to be a standup comedian.
Starting Comedy in Late Twenties
00:02:11
Speaker
I'm deadass.
00:02:12
Speaker
Like there is no way around it. I think I have a body that's very lived in and I've experienced a lot of things, a lot of good, a lot of bad things in my life. And I think that I couldn't have gotten my start in comedy earlier. I think I would have completely failed and maybe even given up on it, abandoned it if it had not been for starting it in my late twenties.
00:02:35
Speaker
because I think things would have been so different for me and I probably would have given up. So that, there's that. I've been told, I was, everyone has told me ever, you should do stand up, you should do stand up, you should do stand up. You're a funny girl. I'm a funny girl. You're a funny girl. I think it's just also, there's the kind of person you have to be to be stand up. I think it leans itself to my personality, which is like, I'm very authentic to who I am. I sit in my spirit most of the time. Like it's not even the jokes. Cause like a lot of times I'm just like, sometimes I feel like people get,
00:03:05
Speaker
Part of the reason why I'm funny is that I'll say the inconvenient truth. I'll say something. Okay, so I thought this was funny. I was at a doctor party. My sister's a doctor and I was at a friend of hers's birthday party. It was all doctors.
00:03:17
Speaker
I don't know if you guys know this, but doctors are a little socially, not necessarily as adept. Um, so I literally was like to one, I wasn't even trying to be funny. Like I was talking to this dermatologist and I was like, Oh, really quick. My butthole is raw. Can I put aquifer on my butthole? And she was dying laughing and she's like, you can't actually like, it's okay. We'll irritate the skin. I was like, thank you so much.
00:03:41
Speaker
It was like that day, I had the aquifer in my bag and I was like scared. I was like, oh, thank God. I could finally talk to someone and ask them. I was so dead. She's a stranger. She's a complete stranger. I never met her in my life.
00:03:56
Speaker
She, my sister was like, nice to meet, nice to, oh my God, this is my sister, blah, blah, blah. I didn't ask my sister cause she works in endocrine. You were like, she doesn't know. She knows hormones. If I could, she doesn't
Challenges and Dynamics in Comedy vs. Acting
00:04:06
Speaker
know about, if I could put zag before my butthole. Yeah. Let me ask this stranger. So yeah, I'm so dead. Like I don't care. You know what I mean? Like what do you care? I get embarrassed. Just not easily, but I do get embarrassed. Yeah.
00:04:19
Speaker
Once again, could never be me. I'm so dead. That is so funny. I feel like we are, I don't think that you and I, like we're not like a caricature, like a sitcom best friends that were like complete opposites, but I feel like in some ways we are. Yeah, no, 100%. Like I'm tall, you're short. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like we, I feel like we could, we are opposite in some ways. High-wise for sure. That shit is funny.
00:04:45
Speaker
Like, you know what I mean? I'm like stocky. I was like built to like birth, like millions of children. You were just saying that. I was just saying that literally off air, but I, you're like a ballerina, but yeah, you're graceful. I'm not like a comedian is something that we are opposites in. Couldn't be me for sure. For sure. I think a lot of people feel that way. And I think I was scared of it for a long time until finally I had like, I had like so many people tell my agents, like I had a director tell me I was in a show called Puerto Rican at the Puerto Rican traveling theater. And the director was like,
00:05:15
Speaker
The director was like, you know, I really think you should do this. And he was like, I'm queer. You're funny for queer people. Queer people don't think a lot of people are funny.
00:05:24
Speaker
That's what he said. He was like, you need to get out. You need to do it. So I was like, you know what? Let me take the plunge and sign up for a class. But also the reason was I wasn't getting enough work as an actor. And I was like, I need to diversify, like divide and conquer if I'm going to, if I'm able to like really get more work. And I was able, it honestly taught me to be a fearless performer. So I was like, I was, I kept thinking, I was looking back at my old tapes.
00:05:45
Speaker
Like, um, comedy tapes. And I was like, wow, I was so, I was still like a performer. There was a mask. And I do think I am of the creed that A, all art is political and B, that when you're doing standup, first of all, there's no money in standup. So when you're doing it, you're doing it for the love of the craft and for other avenues. Right. Um.
00:06:04
Speaker
and see is that there's like a, there has to be a still, there's still a mask. It has to be repeatable, a repeatable craft, repeatable art form. But you're a craftsman. You're not an artist. They're very, two very different things, but you have to be as authentically you as possible in order for it to work.
00:06:25
Speaker
Comedy's also evolved like stand up as a relatively new art form and it's evolved in a lot of ways where like you see the highly physical, highly vaudevillian comedy is not really what we're seeing anymore. So there's there's also that. So I got into it a couple years ago. I took a class and my teacher, who is amazing, she is a veteran comic, Veronica Mosi. She was like, you can really do this. Like she said, told me a sign and she's like, you can do this. Like this is like, you know, there are not a lot of comics like you out there. And I was like, that's crazy. Like that giving her giving me a compliment was insane.
00:06:56
Speaker
And so when I got plunged into the world of comedy, you know, I have a really good friend who kind of helped me. You're a really good friend, but not your best friend. Not my best friend. That's me. My friend, Alex Kuo, who was like the homie for real. He's an amazing comedian. Check him out. I'm like shouting everybody out here. Like it was a product placement. You know, he really helped me so much to kind of help me get my footing. And I think I was able to skip the line on a lot of things because I've been scammed before as an actor. So I was able to bypass
00:07:23
Speaker
a lot of other things that comedians go through.
Sexism and Perceptions in Comedy
00:07:26
Speaker
And a lot of comics weren't a fond of that. They weren't happy for me for that. I think as a woman, it's a boys club and people are like, oh, she's a woman. She gets so much work. Not really, bro. I've had a lot of issues being a woman. I definitely felt like I was on the outside. Actors are so much more collaborative. They always want to, because it's so not personal.
00:07:42
Speaker
Acting is so not personal that like there's so many other people who have to say yes to you before you can like really get work in the interpretive sense, work in the mainstream sense that like that you feel out of control as an actor. But it also is like if someone who just started acting gets a TV role and you've been doing it for 10 years and you don't get it, it's not necessarily your fault or their fault. It just happened. They were right for the role in comedy.
00:08:06
Speaker
for better or for worse there's a there's almost like an order you know what i mean there's like a a plus b plus c plus d and then if you work really hard you'll be able to get somewhere um
00:08:16
Speaker
So people are like, well, if you got that opportunity and you weren't, you haven't put 10 years into it, then maybe there's an issue or like you've got, are you fucking somebody? Are you, I have someone tell me, oh, you're not, you must be an intern. I'm like, no, I'm dead ass a comic. I just told jokes for this comedy club. Oh, you know somebody. I literally don't know anyone. Like, so I was able to buy better and things and people think, oh, it's cause she's a woman or like the whole, the vultures out there, the culture vultures, like the, the jokes dealers, like those, you know, the scam artists, they're all a bunch of weirdos.
00:08:44
Speaker
You guys are weird. Convenience are weird, man. They're weird. So I had to experience a lot of that. And that was a little bit, I'm thinking of the word in Spanish, chocante. It was just a little bit jarring for me to experience like, oh, you guys are on collaborative. You do not have my best. I am a threat at all times. You do not have my best interest at heart. That's crazy. Cause that's just not the way actors move. Like you need other people.
00:09:06
Speaker
to make it work. Let's collab. Let's do this. Let's take a class together in comedy. It's like, okay, great. If you put in the work, you will get somewhere. If you like, you know what I mean? If you have enough social, cause a lot of comedians have antisocial behavior that works on stage, but doesn't work very well off stage.
00:09:21
Speaker
when you're weird, when you don't know how to like talk to people, I have like, I'm probably, I don't have enough anti-social behavior on stage, but I have like pretty, I'm pretty good at socializing off stage. So, you know, it's a little bit, people are getting a little bit like confused or like disarmed by that, but it has worked in my favor. I've also been in the arts for mad fucking long. You know, my first acting job was when I was 13. Like it's not, people are like, I'm like, I've been at this. Like there's crossover, there is crossover.
00:09:50
Speaker
So it's been really hard to not get mad. Like I'm so angry all the time. Anytime someone does me dirty or like doesn't off the bat does not respect me. Cause that's also normal. You gain your respect, you earn it with time and with building relationships and people will try to bring you down. And after people just ignored, like it'll go out of their way to bring you down. And that is so frustrating. Like I will get so angry and I will make a mental, no, I'm petty as fuck.
00:10:17
Speaker
I'm petty betty. So I will take a note. I will take a note and be like, all right, I'll make a note of that. Like, you want to play that game? Two can play it. And I'm going to play better than you. So are you not of the...
00:10:30
Speaker
the creed of like, uh, that like forgiveness is the answer for all. No. I feel like I knew that, but I just wanted to confirm. No. Cause, um, I'm just one of God's humble servants. I'm not God. That's so Dominican of you to say, you always say that in Spanish. I do remember at the bachelorette, somebody was trying to like sell you something and you were like, I'm just one of God's.
00:10:53
Speaker
And you were trying to translate it to all of the other bridesmaids. And you guys were like, you sound crazy. And you were like, what? And you were like, oh, I'm just telling them I want to god tell the humble servants.
00:11:04
Speaker
Because because like they would try to take advantage of us because they're like these Americans are gonna like they're in dollars they see dollar signs and I'm like oh I'm just one of God's humble servants like I'm not I'm not here to like drop a lot of bread same goes for me like I am not I am human I am petty like like obviously like there is a time and place to be the bigger person versus the better person is what I call it but I will get my look back
00:11:28
Speaker
I will always get my lick back. And I know that that's not, sometimes you got to pick and choose your own fights. Like, and I know, I know when to do it. Like I'm, I've been at this for a while, but I will, I never forget. My face hurts from laughing. I just don't forget when people do me dirty, I like, I'll hurt you. Like I'm on those levels obviously, but I will always, always remember the people who help me down.
00:11:47
Speaker
Like there are some comedians like they were just so kind to me in the beginning and like, I'm like, Oh, okay. I will always keep you in mind. I will always consider you. But the ones that haven't considered me for no reason, sometimes it's not personal. They're just like, Oh, you're not relevant because I don't know who you are. And I'm going to be rude to you for no reason. I'm like, okay, cool. It'll come back to bite you in the face. Cause to be honest, anybody I know that's pretty successful and knows what they do, they're not like that. Like the ones that I've met, you know what I'm saying? I met Jim Gaffigan the other night and that made my
00:12:17
Speaker
That made my week, that made my year, like, and he was just the kind of soul. I totally, even though I'm, I mean, I'm not even really a, I won't say that I'm like not an actor. I definitely like respect the time that I spent, which was so much of my life. But that doesn't leave you. Right. But I'm not, so I'll say I'm not actively pursuing acting opportunities at this moment. Okay. My actor's access account is closed for this moment. But even in like,
00:12:47
Speaker
I do the mentorship program for NYU and I mentor students and a lot of them that they match me with want to go to grad school, want to do things in nonprofits, want to do things in social justice, racial justice, content creation, things that I do now, which has a lot of overlap with a lot of actors.
00:13:04
Speaker
And I had one of these girls that I mentored, she specifically reached out to me to be like, I don't think that you have the knowledge that I need to get to my next level in my career. So I no longer want to be mentored by you.
00:13:20
Speaker
And I was like, that's an insane
Using Pettiness as Motivation
00:13:22
Speaker
thing to tell someone because, and I not, not, not in as much a spiteful way, but I'm not going to forget that because I will never help you. If you need a recommendation letter, I would never write you one because that's so
00:13:36
Speaker
weird. Like I will be so kind and like grateful to anyone that wants to help me or like give me any sort of information. I will be so kind and grateful to like, I went to a women's health event and because I've been on the platform so much and in the magazine so much, I had people come up to me that I like genuinely have never met in my life. And I was like, Oh my God, love it. Hey, what's up? Did that cost you any emotional?
00:14:01
Speaker
I don't get what the, that's, that's the thing that I don't understand. Why are people just, you never know how that goes to such a long way and you never know, you never know. And it's not that I'm being fake. I just, I'm just happy with myself as a person. I also, it's never been an impetus for someone to be like,
00:14:18
Speaker
DM me, I get so many random Instagram DMs where people be like, hey, I'm getting a corgi. I saw you made a YouTube video about having a corgi. Things that are so random to me, I will always be like, oh yeah, what's up? Yeah, this is the kind of chew toy I got my dog. It costs you nothing to be nice to people. And I never have the impulse to be me in for no reason. So yeah, I totally agree with you. That's weird behavior and you should not forget.
00:14:48
Speaker
No, I don't. It's also interesting because it's like, I get both sides of the same coin. I do feel like because it's a boys club and because there aren't women, it's almost like walking into a barbershop. Everyone's like, they're looking at you like fresh blood. They're like, can I fuck her? Can I learn from her? Like, ooh, a woman? Like how long is she going to last? Like she won't be able to handle it. Like there's like all of that. So I do think sometimes it meant I had a conversation with another comic and he's like, yeah, I'll be honest. I'm kind of mean to people that I don't know. And I'm like, why do you do that?
00:15:13
Speaker
Yeah. And he's like, it's just, it's just, it's like, they're conditioned now. Like it's part of the, if you don't do that, then you're a weird comic. And I was like, you were mean to me. And he's like, that's cause you're a girl. I was like, bro, what? Like, what's the point of that? So I, and with, with female comics, I find that cause the non-binary ones are always cool. The female comics, it'll be like, either they're cool, cool, like sis we're in this together, or it's like, you're a threat.
00:15:41
Speaker
They're like, pick Misha's. They are pick me girls. They're like, pick me, choose me. And they see you as a threat in their bubble. And I'm like, it's really just extremes, which is unfortunate. And I'm saying stuff on this podcast that nobody talks about. Nobody wants to talk about. Everyone's always afraid to call other comics out. And I think because of my background in acting and because I'm also an actor in a comic, it's like,
00:16:03
Speaker
I guess I have less to lose in their minds. So I'm like, so when this episode blows up and everyone, everyone's gonna be like, Oh shit, she's calling everybody. I'm not naming any names though. But I, there are picks up for like Alex Cole, who's amazing. Um, but I'm like, go see his, uh, go watch his podcast. Go see his, cause stand up. It's just one of those things I've had. I've had so many great experiences, but for, but I've probably had, um,
00:16:27
Speaker
No, actually that's not true. I've definitely had more great experiences than, than bad experiences. Um, cause you're in the trenches. Like you're most of the standup work is for free. You're doing it for free. You're doing it to build relationships, get connections and hoping that you get to a point where your technique is good enough. You're funny enough. Um, get your funny up that you're able to then start making money off of it and, and, you know, get representation to then like recommend you to festivals and build relationships and whatever. And I'm just diversifying my portfolio. Yeah. Um, but.
00:16:57
Speaker
Yeah, but the great, I think one of the beautiful things about standup is,
00:17:02
Speaker
It's similar to like nightlife in the sense that everyone's in the trenches. So like your homies are your homies and people that do stand up, they've seen some shit, you know? Like I feel like that's definitely people that cope with humor and it's a free space. Like I could say anything and that will cancel me a million times but there's a camaraderie between comics where we know that it really is just jokes. Like it's not, there's a way to approach that, right?
00:17:31
Speaker
I think there are comics, you know, famous comics that definitely have been the rules and not to their favor and have taken advantage of. What's it called? Punching down? Punching down. It's just then it's just not a good joke, but also just like punching down is another example or like maybe, you know,
00:17:49
Speaker
telling stories that damage whole groups of people or like, but not well done. Lisa Lampanelli, who doesn't practice comedy or doesn't do comedy anymore, she said, she was talking about a certain comic who got really in trouble for saying something. And she said, you have to be really lovable.
00:18:09
Speaker
in order for you to get away with it. And, you know, like Andy Warhol said, art is getting away with it. Like that is comedy. You can get away with it because I can make a joke to you, Taylor, about, let's say you're really self-conscious about your ears. You're not, but let's say you are. Imagine you're like, oh my God.
00:18:27
Speaker
And I'm like, why would you say that on this podcast? And I'm like, you know, you big eared bitch, let's say. It's funny because like you have, there's a trust. You know, I don't mean it. But if there's anything in me where you don't trust me, that it's like now it's not funny anymore. I can call your brother an idiot or, you know, I can't call your brother an idiot.
00:18:46
Speaker
Like you can call your brother an idiot. There's a commodity, there's a trust. And if you can, that's done well. So you're playing, it's clown work. You're playing, it's a very fine line. You're playing with people's emotions. Sometimes things are not offensive. They're just not funny. People don't understand the difference. Like if you're, there are jokes that people make. I will give you an example. So I, phenotypically, I look, I mean, I look all kinds of things.
00:19:11
Speaker
But I look people will confuse me and think think I am Middle Eastern or of like, you know, Arab descent. Right. And or Southeast Asian also. And I had a whole bit about it, about this.
Timing and Global Events in Comedy
00:19:28
Speaker
During the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, when things first was still happening, but when it first came out, when everything first started coming out, unbeknownst to me, I thought about it, if I should take it away from my material. And I said, you know what, it's about what I look like. It has nothing to do with the conflict.
00:19:46
Speaker
It's just about what I look like and me getting, because of the perception of what I look like, I would get like free things at the bodega or like the halal cart, whatever, right? I realized that when I started doing the bit, it wasn't working anymore.
00:20:04
Speaker
And I think it's because when people started to hear it, they were like, I don't want to hear. I don't want to think about people dying. So when you're associating that, it's not that it's offensive. It's just not funny anymore. Yeah. It's like too close. So I took it out completely out of my
00:20:20
Speaker
my arsenal of work that I do that like written material or like worked on material on stage because I'm like, I don't want to put people, people are not coming here to have a political conversation. They want to come here to laugh and I make them think and that it's not funny. I'm not serving the audience is like, I'm not doing my job anymore. So let me take that away.
00:20:41
Speaker
You know what I mean? Like, it's like doing a joke about 9-11 on 9-11. Like, Chris Stefano pulled it off beautifully. He did a beautiful job because his mom is a survivor of 9-11. Um, and he did that, that famous bit from the comedy seller on 9-11. Um, and it worked beautifully, but like not everybody could do that. Like you have to find a way. He's also been at this for over 10 years. So I think there's, um, it's getting away with it and just finding the fine line of like having the thick skin to accept that, you know, I'm gonna get, they're gonna be more bombs.
00:21:09
Speaker
There's going to be more people being mean to me. There's going to be more people trying to make a pass at me. Um, I'm sexually putting me in uncomfortable situations and there's going to be more of that and you just got to learn to like deal with it and, and bring laughter to people, which is what matters.
Wrap-up and Next Episode Tease
00:21:30
Speaker
Okay, friends, that was Talia's last episode on the podcast for season one. Of course, you can find her social handles in the show notes, or you can find her everywhere as Talia Romina, and you gotta keep up with her comedy. She gave you so many little tidbits. If anyone's listening to this that was considering being a comedian, now you kinda got a little bit of the ins and outs. Coming up next week,
00:21:55
Speaker
For my family chats, we have my cousin, Shyleen. I'm so excited to get into our conversation. See you out there.