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The Truth Of The Matter is- Episode: 166 Special Guest - David McClam
23 Plays3 months ago
“The truth of the matter is” podcast provides an honest, contextual, historicized, Philosophical and Psychological view of the Bible through the use of Hermeneutics, while sharing some personal experiences from Johnathan and on occasion our special guest. We believe in sharing practical ways of applying God’s word to everyday life. Today we welcome special guest David McClam on the show who is a podcast host and a Survivor of Domestic abuse both from a parent and a partner. He has a love for true crime and reading. Because of this love it led him to create A Day with crime that has lasted for 4 years. And he currently has a podcast called True Crime, author and Extraordinary people that has been running for a year Now. Tune in and give this a listen you might be surprised that you'll learn something new today so better yourself for it you deserve it.
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Transcript
Introduction to the Podcast
00:00:01
Speaker
Welcome to a special edition of the Truth of the Matters podcast. I'm your host, Jonathan, and I'm here with our special guests.
Podcast Focus and Methodology
00:00:08
Speaker
But before we introduce and welcome him inappropriately, let's begin by recognizing and appreciating all our new and consistent listeners.
00:00:21
Speaker
We thank you all in advance for continuing to press play at your own convenience. Now, if this is your first time listening, we want you to know that the Truth of the Matters podcast is all about providing an onyx, contextual, it's the rise, philosophical and psychological view of the Bible. Due to use of Herman Newick's while sharing some personal experiences from myself, Daniel, and on occasion, our special guests. We believe in sharing practical ways of applying God's word to everyday life.
Guest Introduction: David McClam
00:00:53
Speaker
Today, we will praise God for another new testimony we will hear. We hope after hearing this man of God, that you will be encouraged, uplifted, and we hope that you will see how an encounter with Jesus Christ would guarantee that your life will not be the same. but Without further ado, I want to walk you in. David McClam. How are you doing today, sir? Hey, Jonathan. Glad to be here. How are you doing, man?
00:01:17
Speaker
Alright, so nice to
David's Podcasting Journey
00:01:19
Speaker
meet you, man. So for those who are listening, it's the first time we are actually encountering one another. Of course, we had a few minutes of a conversation before the pre open. So before we get started, before I introduce you and kind of give a run around a little bit about yourself. Can you share it with an audience what is one thing that you've done, an adjustment that you've made that's been fruitful or flourishing in your life now that you probably haven't seen before and now you see the benefits of it?
00:01:51
Speaker
I would definitely probably say what I do for my side job was in my podcast. It produced so many benefits for me. I've met so many great people and learned some of the great stories. I never thought it would go to where it's at. So I think that is definitely one thing that I've done that's totally shaped my life at this point. All right, very good. So let me give my audience a little information about you. So David McLean is a podcast host, a survivor of domestic abuse, both from a parent and a partner. He has a love for true crime and reading. And because of this love, it led him to create a podcast called a day with crime that actually has lasted for four years. He currently has another podcast called true crimes, authors and extraordinary people. That's actually been running for about a year now. Now, before we get into your story here on the truth of the matter, his podcast, we believe in praying first and foremost. So that's what we'll do to begin. And then we'll kind of unpack and learn a little bit more about you, David.
00:02:51
Speaker
70 Father Lord in Jesus name, we thank you so much for this opportunity that you've given us to fellowship with one another. The thing that we share in common is that we have a relationship with you. So therefore Lord, I hope all my listeners that are listening, my listeners and Daniel's listeners on the Truth of the Matters podcast will be blessed and will be given an opportunity to spread their wings. We know that a bird eventually has to leave the nest and we hope That people out there that have gifts, talents, abilities, that they can use them correctly, not only to further the kingdom of God, but also to allow God to use them to enter spaces that a lot of us may think we could never enter. Lord, we thank you for this opportunity because through conversation and dialogue, we grow mature. We know that connections is the network for life. We know that dialogue is an opportunity to grow.
00:03:49
Speaker
and to learn more about how you've blessed others. It's not just about how you are blessing us individually, but we can learn and grow by hearing how you've blessed others within the body of Christ. He told us in Romans chapter that one, verse 12, let us be musically encouraged by one another's faith. And I pray that we will be musically encouraged by what David has to share from his personal experience, along with what he is doing in the podcast space. We give you all the glory, the honor, and the praise. And Lord, we say these things in confidence with surety that you will be lifted up and glorified after this conversation through the inspiration of others. And Lord, we say these things in agreement. In Jesus name we pray. Amen. Amen.
Childhood Dreams and Musical Talent
00:04:36
Speaker
Yeah, so David, I guess the first thing to start with
00:04:40
Speaker
is growing up, what were some of your dreams and aspirations? What did you hope to achieve and accomplish right out of the gate? Well, when I was a kid, I actually wanted to be a cop because I wanted to help people. And then, of course, that turned into being entertainer. I am a professional musician, played drums for about now, 42, 43 years. But whatever I wanted to do with those two professions, I just wanted to help people. And that's always been my aspiration since I've been able to walk and talk. Okay, so the musician element, what drove you to drums? Why drums are not anything else? I'm what they call a child. Prophecy God gifted. So I've never had a lesson. It was something that I picked up and I became certified professional at age four. And I'm always just love to play. I played in several bands and <unk>ve been on a couple of albums that nobody really knows of. But it's just a freedom that you have when you're able to express yourself that way. That's totally unexpected.
00:05:38
Speaker
So any particular genres of music that you gravitated towards, whether it was gospel, jazz, what really prompted your ability to play and what were you most interested in in playing and in any of those genres of music? I like all genres. I can play them all, but ah probably gospel, contemporary, Christian and jazz has been my three, my three biggest ones. Any particular drums that you love that you want to shout out? ah Female wise, Terrilyn Carrington. I don't think the females get the the much love that they need. But I am a huge fan of Terrilyn Carrington. Dave Wuckel is another great drummer. He's very ah technical. And then in that Christian rock space, Robert Sweet, who's the drummer for sniper. I've had a lot of my career after.
00:06:25
Speaker
Nice.
Reflections on Policing and True Crime
00:06:26
Speaker
So when you look back over the desire to actually be a cop, do you sometimes think to yourself of everything that has happened during the flu, the George Floyd and everything that happened during the pandemic? Do you think that being part of the space of being a cop, that things would have been harsh for you? Like what is your reality process when you think about what's transpired in history and the negative impact that it's had on the black community when dealing with cops? Now, definitely, yeah, I think it would have greatly impacted me no matter how many years I've been in because of the way that the African-American community does look at cops.
00:07:03
Speaker
Even the good ones out there that are African-American become Uncle Tom's, right? Because they're all just gonna do what the man wants to do. And there's definitely some good cops out there, but with all of the unrest that's going on and the more we hear about the more crooked cops versus then the great ones, it's a space now that I'm like, I'm kind of glad I'm not in because I don't know where my life would be or even if I would be here with the way that cops are getting killed now. Okay, so why true crime and reading? Like, what was it about those things that you care so much about?
00:07:35
Speaker
So true crime, uh, I got started in that when I was about seven, uh, the Jim Jones and Guyana tragedy is what brought me to true crime. Even though I was a young kid and happened back in the middle eighties, I started researching that and that became fascinated that a lot of people say God doesn't exist and Jesus Christ isn't here. But if you look over about 97% of all of the occult's that claim to be Christian base all goes off that philosophy. And Jim Jones was one of those that started out good and ended up horrible. yeah And so I wanted to investigate that. And that led me down towards a nu a long pattern of of true crime, where I felt like that there are stories that need to be told in true crime stories that never should be forgotten, especially in the African-American community space. And so when I saw that a lot of those get looked over, that's when I started that element. So I got to do true crime for that. Reading, I read all the time.
00:08:31
Speaker
um And so there's a lot of independent authors that I had been reading that nobody seemed to know about. So when I came up with this new concept, I said, what if I combine those two and help those authors get those books out? And so that's how that was born at that point. Okay, so there's something I want to suggest you to. I don't know if you ever heard of this story called The Third Atom. There's a one, two, three, and four. And the individual is Spencer Smith. It's a lot of history-based. It speaks a lot about the different belief systems that sort of mimic the Trinity. I definitely want to implore you to check it out there long. I'm talking about if you're a lover of history, if you're a lover of really looking and digging deep into the crimes and some of the things that are practiced and
00:09:14
Speaker
There's this term called theosophyid. There's a lot of great stuff in there to educate you. I want to tell my audience, I suggest it. And because you mentioned it, I think you should actually look into it. And again, it's called Third Adam. And the name of the channel is Spencer James. Really, really, really God. I would say about 95% of it, I agree with. The rest of it, you can say here, say some of it is probably leading. So that's something I want to suggest to my audience and to you.
Personal Experiences of Abuse and Forgiveness
00:09:41
Speaker
So let's talk a little bit about your story. So who was your abuser, if you don't mind sharing openly about it? My abuser was my father. and So my mom and I was thick as thieves until she passed away. But yeah he was the abuser from a very early age. um He didn't really get started till he moved us. So he was my mother's first love, first guy I've been in love with.
00:10:08
Speaker
And then he went into the service and when he did, he ended up moving us to North Carolina. And that's best when a lot of the things began to happen. Yeah. Are you a father now currently? I am six kids, seven and a half grandkids, a half along the way. Wow. Okay. So I asked you a tough question, at least in that regard. Have you for forgiven your father for some of the things that he's done? Yeah, I have. And you have to because forgiveness is more for you than for that person. um I had an uncle that tried to put me and my dad back in touch about three years ago. And that didn't work out because, you know, you can't gaslight a situation. um And that's when I realized that he's never going to accept responsibility for that. So either I'm going to go ahead and forgive him for that, like the Bible calls me to do and move on with my life, or I'm going to continue to hold that, which does nothing but hurt me more.
00:11:05
Speaker
ah You know interesting thing when you made a statement that forgiveness is more for you than for the person I've learned to realize I'm not necessarily sure if that is the truth either so but obviously there's a passage where Jesus says If someone has forgive if someone has offended you forgive them 77 times over right and it speaks more To come to the realization that because Christ is consistently forgiven us. I don't think we have the we shouldn't have the desire neither should we look at it in the perspective that we should be holding that over anybody's head and then he obviously proceeds to share the story about one of the individuals that actually a king forgave and then he had the opportunity to forgive his servant and he didn't and then once the king found out he threw him in jail as a result of it because it comes to realize there's almost like a domino effect that
00:12:00
Speaker
God has called us to forgive obviously because obviously we're not perfect. One of the elements that is described to us in 1 Corinthians chapter 13 verses 4 to 8 about love is holding records of wrongs. We shouldn't do that if we truly claim to love people. And therefore we should understand that at least in that, in that aspect, in that space, we still have to process what was done wrong to us, but neither does it take the forgiveness of us, but I think we're reciprocating the behavior.
00:12:33
Speaker
of what God wants us to do because what he does for us. So we should do the same thing. If we strive to be just like our father, then that shall result in also forgiving others. And seeing that within the human condition, there's always going to be uncertainties and insecurities about us. And therefore as a result of that, we have to be forgiving and extend that out a little bit more. So I don't know if that shares a little bit more insight on that, but I'm just trying to be like my, our father. So that's the only reason why I'm looking at it that way. Now, in terms of how you father, has any of the things that has been done to you, has it reciprocated over to how you treat your children mistakenly? Or if you would you say you've been on top of that and making sure it doesn't affect that? Been on top of that? it's um When you are abused in situations, especially a child, you start making mental notes of the things that's done to you that you never will do.
00:13:30
Speaker
Even if you have a good parent on that end, like for instance, my mom was a great parent, but I'm from the old school. I'm um'm a black guy from Georgia. My mom was raised in the South. So switches was very prominent when it came to punishment. And because I hated switches, when I had my first child, I thought my mom had said, I know speaking is prevalent, but you can never use a switch. So when you have these mental switches of what I did like, what I didn't like, you keep those in check. Plus, I know a lot of us that are skin tone, hate counseling. My mother got me into counseling at a very young age. That did help to quell a lot of that and anxiety. um I won't say it didn't lead to multiple marriages because it did because of the fact that you start jumping into things early because you want to prove that you can do things better than what the previous person before you did.
00:14:21
Speaker
And then that causes issues down the down the road right until you figure out how that works. But no, i'm I'm pretty on top of it. Never really abused. Never abused my kids at all. Don't even spank them. Don't have to. This voice and eyes does it all. How tall are you? Six, four and a half. Okay, yeah, that would mean that I would see how intimidating enough that could be. If I tell you something one time, it should be well received unless your children are starting growing to grow into your size. Are they thinking that they can challenge you one day?
00:14:53
Speaker
My two older sons are my height once past me. So I do have my little son at 6'5". But I told him though, I said, hey, don't let that happen to you. I'll just take you out the knees. Yeah. Yeah. So it's interesting you you mention that because you know I think a lot of us Some of us don't have the greatest relationships with our parents, father or mother. But there was something that I learned where, you know, I've learned to be much more empathetic versus the sympathetic. And so I said, what's the difference between the two? The sympathetic aspect is to look at a situation, but then you being a predicament where you're well off. And it's sort of like this idea of you going to do charity work.
00:15:38
Speaker
as an act of goodness to somebody else. But then you leave us sit you leave that situation knowing that you're better off. So to some degree, you tend to look down on people. That's that sympathy that is expressed. But empathy is taken in consideration the history of a person. and then being able to map out what has transpired history wise to what led them to be who they are and then being able to empathize so with that gives you a better growth and understanding of the situation which is why not only do you forgive but you know this is what they're doing they're doing the best of their ability they're only doing what they've been taught and how they were treated
00:16:18
Speaker
And as a result of that, I can't hold them to that. Obviously, choices are choices, right? Impact is impact, but having a bit more leisure to look at what happened and know that in some cases, some people do things and they're just a result. They're what is considered like if war is going on, they're counter, they're like caught in the middle. Really can't really decide whether or not their casualties within a war that's happening. So let me ask you this question. In terms of how you raise your children and the wrong that is done, if they're doing it wrong to one another, what is your solution? like what do you What is your like process of how you can get them on the same page and be able to you know cooperate even though they may disagree or not like each other in these moments? Well, they say I'm i'm a lecturer. um But basically, it is a sit down and a talk.
00:17:16
Speaker
How, you know, like, for instance, my two that's home now, my 20 on my 13 year old, uh, my 20 year old, she's a female. Madison is very affectionate and she loves to kiss everybody all day and hug everybody. And my 13 year old, not so much. But if you reverse that to where he wants to be all over her and kiss her all day, she saw, get off me. I don't got it. And so then I said, well, well, look, when we ask you to stop, you don't want to stop. Now that is happening to you is annoying. So what is that teaching you? What's the lesson behind that? and And she starts to think about it. okay If you don't like that done to you, then when people ask you to stop, you need to stop. And those are the kind of conversations that we have.
00:17:55
Speaker
and um I'm going into a thought provoking conversations. I teach them about what would their word means, what they look like in public. If you do this, you're representing yourself in the family, those kinds of conversations, because I think that sometimes those go a longer way than if you are spanking your child. I'm not opposed to that. I was raised that way. But in 2023, now you also have to raise children differently. um because they are going through a lot more struggles and different things than we did 10, 15, 20 years ago. And of course, there's new laws now that prevent certain things. But I found that just to talk to my kids and sometimes I have to yell at them for them to understand it. But I think at the end, they understand and we move on. ah I agree with you. So.
Overcoming Abuse with Support
00:18:45
Speaker
With your abuse, what were some of the things that helped you overcome? I know you mentioned counseling. Is there anything else that you would say helped you overcome your situation? My mom was the biggest callus for that because growing up, because of the abuse, I had a lot of anger issues. And I don't want people to think that those go away because you become older. They always going to stick with you because there's going to always be certain triggers that's going to take place. Like my dad was a big black dude. You know, um he was six fours. I'm a little bit taller than him, but he was buff. My mom always liked deep dark chocolate guys. And so when I saw a deep dark chocolate dude, that would trigger something. She always got me into counseling, got me into church, make sure we was doing what the Bible said. And that goes a long way. You have to have that support system behind you.
00:19:35
Speaker
ah to be able to overcome that. And just a step back a minute, when I was saying forgive, but I never said forget, right, we have to forgive for ourselves. And it's been proven that a lot of harboring unforgiveness is now leading to undue health issues. But you never forget. Because the fact that you don't want to forget those things, because those are part of what made you who you are, and as painful as they are, it helped you become who you are. And now you can use that to help somebody else. I agree. Amen. Now, was your mother abused also? She was. Yes, greatly. So during those by the same man. Yes. So i I'm pretty sure there was fighting going on. There was some was it was there some fighting going on? Because obviously, you know, she's encouraging you and motivating you. But what ah what actually occurred with her? Like how did she deal with it? Do you know?
00:20:30
Speaker
um They was fighting going on. Her main concern was to protect me. As his violence got more and more, I mean, she was whipped, she was beat. um My dad was so far off the chains that if his spaghetti wasn't hot enough, that resulted in the beating. I've seen my mom chained to beds, forcefully raped by him. so And I was hung out three-story windows, right? So she's actually seeing me from being hung out of a three-story window, thrown from room to room. And so a lot of that, beating and punishment she would take on herself when he wanted to turn it towards us, or towards me. So yeah, she she took a a huge brunt of that. And I think that's what led her to her grave at 68 because of the beating that she had taken. My mom lost all of her teeth by the time she was 35 because of part of the guns from being beat in the mouth. um And so those scars, they continue all the way through life, which led to a lot of her health issues that I think led her to her grave at the end.
00:21:30
Speaker
Now at the time, was your mother saved? Your father saved? Or no, not you grew up in a home that wasn't saved? No, no, no, my mom's always been a God fearing woman always raised that way. My dad claimed to have been I don't think he really was. And if he was, that changed when he got into the service. um A lot of people don't believe this, but being that I'm talking to a Christian and holding some Christian audience, you probably can. But my dad actually did get demonically possessed. It's something I will never, ever forget. um I mean, words can't explain the things that happened, the sounds that was made up to the point where we finally got him into a church where they were able to relieve him of that. um i My mom has always been.
00:22:16
Speaker
the Christian God fearing and raising me that I needed to be with God. And this is how you do that. Do you know how that was even possible? What he was into? We don't know, dude. It was one of those things where all of a sudden my mom was like, something's wrong with your dad beyond normal. And he started with these with these weird noises. And we started noticing that whenever she mentioned anything about God or the Bible, it was like somebody threw acid on him. And then one that all of a sudden he just, he picked me up. My throat should have been the air and he started yelling that he was God and you know, he's going to take over the world or whatever. So we call the minister and then they said, you're, they said, he's demonically possessed. He goes, I can see it all over him. Um, his whole body just changed the way it looked his face, everything. Wow. That night when we finally, you know, the minister's like, bring him to church on Sunday and we're going to do a special service and we're going to pray this out of them.
00:23:11
Speaker
And of course, i' um I'm petrified. by I remember that. I mean, I was like about five, five and a half, six. But I'm clung into the door because we never knew when he was going to go off. I'm ready to run. And we got him into that service. They made him sit through the whole service, which is like an hour and a half. And every time you would mention God, Bible, Amen, he would just no twitch in his seat like somebody's whipping him. When we finally got to that point, um I saw actually saw these entities rise up out of his body and run out of the church. And I mean, it had this horrible sound you can never ever replicate. Wow. And and so when people tell me that demonic forces is not real or Christianity is a bunch of stuff, I'm like, dude, I have stories for you that if I told you and set you down, it would change your mind. So do you know what did he do for a living? He was a Marine.
00:24:07
Speaker
um It could have been somewhere he was at. yeah you know he was that He was always with the boys, um even had my mom branded. I mean, that was a thing back then. So he had five of his Marine buddies take my mom one day, sit her in the chair and on her right arm, he branded her with a cross in the name array at the bottom because he felt like if he would brand her that no other man would want. him But then it backfired on him because I was named after him. So my mom would just say, this is a tattoo of my son's name. But yeah, man, I don't know what they do there.
00:24:41
Speaker
But, you know, I always say the Marine Corps is one of the dumbest branches. And I'm not saying that because I do support our military, but because of the things he should have been discharged for, especially when it comes to abuse of a wife, drug addict addict, he became a drug addict, serious alcoholic. All of those things, at least back then, was against the articles that the Marines had. But he still managed to get through and got an honorable discharge form. Wow. crazy So how was this implemented in your faith? I know a lot of this scared you, but what changed for you in terms of like reading the scriptures and not being so most fearful of the spiritual forces who were dealing with more of a more pleasant and receiving ah message that God, you know, wanted to get across to you? Just to believe that he was with us.
00:25:35
Speaker
Uh, we know my mom's always say, you know, God never said Christian would be easy, but he's with us all the time. He's protecting us. And at that moment, when my dad did get the money possessed and we came out on scale, I'm like, yeah, he definitely is. And that throughout my whole entire life, I've used that because I've always said that he is the one person has never let me down. Even now my current life when things isn't going right. or maybe your money ain't right or something come in, I always say, God never let me down now. So I'm not worried about it because he's going to come through. So just the constant reading of the scriptures, having a parent that also believe that and back that up and just seeing how he manifests himself in my life daily is what grounded me further into him. OK, any favorite books in the Bible? um Probably Joe.
00:26:25
Speaker
You know, because Joe was probably one of the most tested men in the Bible. And yet, though everything he went through, he would never denounce God. And he was rewarded for that at the end. But I felt like in a lot of my daily struggles now and things I go through, I'm like, man, I feel like Job sometimes. But I just know that I just got to keep holding on. And when the time is right, when it's God's time, then he's going to go ahead and deliver that. OK. Um, any gospel songs, albums that really, you know, get you in a place of worship where you feel as though it's really got you going and you appreciate the songs that were written. Um, yeah, one of them is called 70 times seven. I don't know if you ever heard that, but it's by white heart and it, and, uh, the song deals with forgiveness and the act, the guy actually started over asking, you know, God, you know, how much is this supposed to take? You know, how many times am I supposed to forgive somebody?
00:27:21
Speaker
after all the hurt that they've done to me, and you say 70 times seven, but then the one worst part of that song is it flips at the end and says to God, how many times have you went from the anguish of all my shame? How many times have I nailed you up to the cross of pain by the things that I've done? 70 times seven. And at the end of that, um you were gracious enough to forgive me and give me grace I did not even deserve. ah Okay. Nice. So currently right now, what do you do for work?
Tech Passion and Career at Apple
00:27:52
Speaker
So currently right now I work for one of the biggest tech giants in the world. I work for Apple right now.
00:27:57
Speaker
Wow. let's Talk a little bit about that. How'd you even get into that? And how'd you even get into your, I don't know if it's a love, but technology, like where did that birth get started? I've been in the technology since I was a kid. ah My first um thing with technology was playing Oregon Trail on Apple 2DS. That's how old I was. wow But I've always been into computers and how computers work. And of course, gaming. And I tease my son who's now a gamer. And I'm like, dude, you guys got it easy. Because back in my day, I had to take my whole computer set up to a friend's house on the six foot table and set all that up for a LAN party. um But I've always been into technology, how things work. I'm a big take hit now. I probably own every gadget and probably more gadgets than I need to. So that I've been into since I've been a young child.
00:28:48
Speaker
So that means you're familiar with the pump pilot, huh? I know my dad. Yeah, I have one of those back in the day. Yeah, right. Now everything's kind of morph into just ah so. So let me ask you this just out of curiosity. Why do you think this is like, you know, off the record, why do you think iPhones are like put in this place where because by the way, I refuse to get an iPhone. What's interesting is I have an eye touch was kind of very similar to the iPhone product itself. It's just not a phone. Why do you think they set them up now and they're setting it up now where you no longer ah have, no they used to have the battery in the back, you could take out, put it in. Now it's this whole upgrading and bringing it in and having it restored and having you go to make an appointment. Why do you think they've they've kind of moved in that direction now where it's this whole setup? well The only way to get it correct is to do a whole upgrade and to change what you've had.
00:29:46
Speaker
That I don't know why they did it. I know industry wise, though, if you look at how all of the technology industry changes, they all start changing that way for various reasons. And I think some of it is because of, well, customers. ah People lose batteries, or they put the wrong battery in their phone, and the phone blow up, or things of that nature. So I think it's easier if you give a battery that is you know a longer lasting battery. And maybe you don't have to switch it every couple of years or whatever the case is. um That's why they do it that way. But then everybody has their own services, right? So you have um different services that you can buy or purchase or even they give it to you for a limited time for free. That takes care of that with Apple is Apple care, right? So if your battery is dead or if we consider it dead at 80%. If that is the case, then an Apple care. It's a completely free switch. So if you look at the way the industry is going to more and more, even Samsung phones now is beginning to integrate
00:30:45
Speaker
all their stuff just built into the phone. And I think you can do a lot more with components that way too. And plus that battery has to be able to pull out, which takes a lot of space. So I see. So what do you think about the whole system now where remember cable was a thing, but not as separated into different service providers? What are your thoughts on that? Where now you just Apple TV, there's Amazon, there's Netflix, right? And they want you to subscribe to all these different outlets, Paramount. I know I'm missing some. Show, was it? Showtime. They have all these different things they want you to deal with. And if you think about it, all of that would equal to what a price would be if you had cable. Why do you think it's moving into the download, the digital area now where it's no longer being just a cable thing anymore? Convenience. right ah In today's world, we can blame the Gen Zers and all the young kids for this, but they want instant gratification.
00:31:44
Speaker
So probably me and you was growing up and we wanted to watch Star Trek that we recorded. We have to wait all day till we get home. And 20 year old, I could tell you, no, they want it right now. And I think what ends up happening is it had been predicted almost seven years, eight years ago that streaming was going to be the way that TV and music was going to move. And nobody believed that. Well, then I think he started becoming um more lucrative. So you look at, you know, you mentioned like Discovery Plus, you've mentioned, you know, Amazon Prime. If you look, it's a whole bunch of networks that combine themselves. There's only a few that stand out by themselves, Netflix, Apple TV Plus, Amazon by themselves, but they have a special niche. So a lot of people that does Apple TV Plus, if you watch, there was a vignette that was on there when it first came out that was talking to Steven Spielberg.
00:32:37
Speaker
and he said the reason that he wanted to do things with Apple TV Plus is because he wanted to tell stories that nobody else wanted to produce and even their stories. Netflix was the first
Impact of Streaming Services on TV
00:32:47
Speaker
one that started that. They started out with renting DVDs and then they merged into the whole entire streaming and I think they're the ones that really kicked that off. But now you got NBC, CBS, ABC, they're all one conglomerate. And I think you're going to keep seeing that now in our mind though, in our mind is trickery because it's cheaper. So yeah, like if you take discovery plus or HBO max is 599, but by the time you add on seven of those pretty much cable. Yeah. Right. But you don't, we don't really see that because we don't have a huge bill from a cable company that says you owe us 320 bucks a month. So it was a trickier on the brain.
00:33:25
Speaker
Yeah, because I know that they're frustrating you know MLB watches now with the Yankees and but you know explicitly having it on the Yes app. And now they're trying to do that now with the NFL too. They're trying to separate or separate everything and have certain relationships with YouTube. And sooner or later, people are going to be upset. They no longer can get it in just one route now. because people don't want to be caught up with technology. They're going to be frustrated and angry to try to stream their team that they want to watch. So working for Apple, how long have you been working for Apple now, would you say? Six years. So what do you love most about it? um It's a great company, first of all. I mean, they treat their people really well. So have you ever heard stories that Apple treats their employees well? They really do.
00:34:11
Speaker
Um, it's a joy to go to work. I hate when I'm not at work. So when I'm sick, I'm like, man, I really want to go to work. Um, but just the atmosphere, the different people I get to work with, um, the things that you do get to learn, uh, as far as salesmanship and things that Apple teaches, uh, actually comes over to your everyday life too. So it's just enjoyable. I mean, the all the people are nice to work with to the management acknowledges and understands their employees. So, yeah, I think that's what I like working about it, just meeting new people and learning new things. OK, so when did you realize you wanted to podcast? What was the conversation and where were you at? You know, kind of walk us through how you got as you get into broadcasting.
00:34:54
Speaker
So I was a big YouTube entity for about 13 years. ah ah There was a channel called Cena's Corner. I was in the rock band space. So that's a video game that i came out by harmonics. And my career with that kind of took off. So I was the number one influencer for that game. The channel is still up. Everything that they came out with new for peripherals came to my house first for me to review it. I was one of the reviewers. And then I was going to do a podcast based on that. Well, back then and early, you know, early 2000s, going like to like the 2000s, 12, 13s podcasting wasn't really big at that point in time. And it seemed difficult to do. So I shelved that until about four and a half years ago, my daughter shows up, my oldest daughter and said that we should do a podcast. and i was like nah ain't go'll do that
00:35:40
Speaker
And she's like, well, we both like true crime. We should just go ahead and give it a shot. And she bugged me for like a year. So finally I said, that's a whole new skill set, dude. I got to learn how to edit this thing. I got to learn, you know, different equipment. Being that I was a DJ, I had some of the equipment. And I was like, all right, fine. So I told my wife, I said, this is not going to last past six months. I'm just going to go ahead and do this. Six months will be done. Four and a half years later is when it finally ended because she had to go do other things. um But then when we started it, I was like, yeah, this is kind of a cool you know outlet to do. And then we made history and didn't even know it. We weren't even trying to do it.
00:36:18
Speaker
So we end up getting a call from Spreaker one day and they said, we want to pick you guys up on our program. We'll pay for all of the bandwidth for you to upload your stuff for life. And we're like. Okay. And they're like, we want you because you are making history.
History-Making Podcast with Daughter
00:36:32
Speaker
You're the first father daughter team of true crime or anything in any genre. And I didn't know that I only searched father daughter podcasts and true crime. Because one of the things about podcasts, if you're going to do that is you need to know who is operating in the space you want to go in and what your niche is going to be. You have to have a niche that's going to be different because you want to stand out.
00:36:53
Speaker
So I'm like, yeah, Geneva, we're the only father of the podcaster in true crime. And then they go, well, since you made history there, you make history because you're the first African Americans to even do it. And so we went and taught the podcast movement that year. um But because of our love for true crime, which is why we got into that, the OJ Simpson case is the first case that we had did on that. And then that led to where I am now. But I didn't want to do it. she She'll tell you I was my her idea. I did. I didn't want to do it. I didn't want to learn new things. I just wanted to leave it where it was at. But I'm glad that I did. OK, so dealing with the crime space, I know you've you have to have some exposure to all the different crime shows. So you got a top five.
00:37:35
Speaker
of crime shows. Yeah. Or top 10. If five is too much of a limited capacity to get them all in that you really love. Got me off the top of my head this morning. um Killer Women is probably one. I watch a lot of Dateline. So like your 2020 series, um I do. I just got through watching a documentary on the Murdoch case. So I follow that case right down the rabbit trail, which I'll be doing that one pretty soon. um probably movies. So I've watched Jim Jones and Guy in a Tragedy on three different occasions, three different actors. Powers Booth is part of the best one for that. um Web of Lies is another good one that I like to go down. And then they just keep adding to them. So I get my inspirations from shows like that or true crime podcasts that does cases I've never even heard of. Yeah, they've added quite a few of them on Netflix, like the dammit one.
00:38:29
Speaker
They've added that on. Then there's a lot of other interesting ones. There were some actual individuals that they put on Netflix that kind of resemble what Dammer was doing, but in a completely different way, but some of the mimic behavior. What about some of the drama field shows that include the crime aspect to it? They used to like Law and Order. They have that show called You on Netflix. like What are your thoughts to those two things? ah Big fan. Love, Law, and Order. Follow this. since This is the beginning. All of them? All of them, yeah. it's Which one is your favorite of all of them? It's probably my favorite. and she well What about criminal intent? That deals with the psychological aspect. And what's his name? Did an amazing job on that one.
00:39:11
Speaker
I think criminal intent though didn't get is just due because it came in with, right? So it's like we got into this and they were like, Oh, it's gone. But no, I did. I didn't enjoy that when they did take a whole different spin in the law and order space, because like you said, the silo to psychological and you got to see inside the mind of the killer and the whole nine. I actually interviewed Matt Whitten, who is one of the writers for Law & Order. And we had that talk around that and talked about Ice-T. I didn't know that Ice-T was never supposed to be a main staple on the show. um He was supposed to do like one or two episodes and he ends up like 10 years later. wow yeah All of those drawing procedurals, we like 911, 911 Texas. Yeah, all of those we we definitely get into.
00:39:53
Speaker
And what about you, man? I know that, I have to admit, that's been one of my favorites. Because again, the psychological, the thought process, obviously he never, I guess the whole show's designed for him never to get caught, but just a malicious thought process of everything that he takes himself through and the steps that he follows to make sure he doesn't get caught and a lot of people in the cage. And obviously that has a lot to do with how he was treated when he was young. So that's quite imperative that they, attach those things together. And I was glad they did in you because if you listen to any of my episodes, especially with serial killers, that's one of the the common things that serial killers have in common with the exception of Jeffrey Dahmer. Right. So Jeffrey Dahmer was a misnomer because he, yes, his mom and dad had issues, but he was never an abuse kid. Yeah. um But most of them are abused children or they went through some stuff with with women or whatever the case was that led them where they were at.
00:40:49
Speaker
um But I was glad you connected those because for a long time nobody wanted to talk about that.
Psychological Aspects in Crime Shows
00:40:55
Speaker
Also, you get into movies or shows like Dexter, right? That kind of shows when somebody gets fed up and the the laws are doing what they think they should do, we're going to take this in my own hands. I'm a normal person by day, but I'm going to go out and just nash people off and kill them at night. Right. Find a way to settle matters, whatever it takes. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. So I suppose but interesting just to talk a little bit more about the Dahmer.
00:41:24
Speaker
You know, i from watching the series, do you believe he really gave himself to Christ and turned his way around before he was actually murdered? What are your thoughts on that? I think he did. And the reason why I think that he did is because if you look over the history of serial killers, men and female, Jeffrey Dahmer never said he didn't do anything. He never said that it wasn't his fault. He never tried to gaslight anybody. He always took full responsibility for what he did. I think the the only thing he said is, my intention was not to kill him, right? His whole thing was he was lonely. So he wanted people to stick with him and everybody left him. So the whole entire tournament to a zombie thing in his mind, that chemical is going to make you to the point where you behave him or behave and do what he wanted you to do. But then after his first kill, it just got in his blood.
00:42:15
Speaker
When you have a person like that and he was still up in court and you know, he said, I don't want any mercy. Um, but I am sick. Yeah. and So I do believe in that case that yes, he gave himself over to Christ. I think he was, he was ready to go when he did killed. He didn't fight back from what I understand. Um, but I believe God can heal or save anybody. And I know to a lot of people, they go, Oh, the first thing criminals do is they go, they're going to give their life to Christ. You don't know what those people go through bad or good in those jail cells. And then I did a whole episode called Why I'm Against the Death Penalty. And I'm against because, well, not only my religion and my belief in Christ, but my mom's always telling me she goes, nobody can beat you like God can. If you got to sit in that cell 24-7 and think about the things that you did, it weighs on you.
00:43:09
Speaker
And, you know, you that's when you decide if you're going to be pinned right then and there. But I do think that he died a Christian. I think he died better off than what he was when he was here. So interesting enough, going down this path, this journey, I don't know if you have you ever heard of the documentary One Taste about OK, Nicole, I think it's damn on it. So there's these. guests well not these guests There's these leading women and men in these different occult movements that sort of get started and everybody kind of flocks to them. right A lot of them are like in Oregon. right You have these different leaders that claim themselves to be some sort of savior.
00:43:52
Speaker
And there's a lot of interesting impact and it talks about the bombing of different things, of buildings and all those different things for a greater purpose of development. Now there's another huge one that's on Netflix and it kind of goes down the line. I got to figure out what the name of that one is. But this one, One Taste, talks about all the different things that led into that movement. I think a lot of it transpired in San Francisco, we know. what the daughters about San Francisco and the community, people that kind of reside there. But when you think about some of the crimes that are, that happen in these these large movements of these gravitations of people that are kind of flocked to this idea of this, whether it's a new age idea or whether it's this desire of this new fresh of air of success, what are your thoughts to,
00:44:45
Speaker
the documentaries of the work that's put in into kind of tell that story, the lives that get lost for a numerous amount of different reasons. When you ever dig into those sorts of things, do you come out being much more stronger in your faith and seeing the wickedness that's being you know expressed? ah How do you feel when you've done watch that and you've done a study on it and you just sit back and what are some of your reflection thoughts? sometimes anger. And the reason I become angry is because when you look at these things, I mentioned Jim Jones, same way. This is why people are skeptical to come to Christ, or they say that Christianity is bad or fake, because they've gotten ahold of they seen these things, right? Yeah, um a lot of them is for their own game. And then they start to take over and they say, I am God and God sent me to do this.
00:45:39
Speaker
So I get a lot of angry about that because people start to believe that stuff.
Cults and Faith Resilience
00:45:43
Speaker
The other thing too, is they prey on the mind of what they call the weak. I don't necessarily believe that because if you look at some of the people that's there, they're strong minded. But if I was to put you in a cage and hammer a doctrine into you 24 hours a day and you have nowhere around it, pretty soon you're going to start to believe that. And it's going to break you down to the point of, okay, well, maybe they is telling me the truth because, you know, this is all I'm hearing. And it gives me that thing too of people that is not grounded in Christ. And that's what I think our job as Christians is to make sure that we're able to speak to those things. If you run into people that go, well, I don't believe in Christ anymore because I was in this cult and this is what they told me, right? We have to speak to all that. I'm sorry they told you that, but this is what the real truth is. oh It comes out with me stronger and wanting to witness more and wanting me to listen to people. I've actually interviewed a couple of people that were in cults that
00:46:34
Speaker
One person that was still a Christian, the other one said I denounced God altogether because of what I went through. And I had conversations with them saying you understand that what you went through was not. the gospel, you know and we had long conversations about it. So yeah. The one I'm talking about, I think it's called Wawa Country. Oh, Wawa Country. Yeah, so you saw what happened. Everybody just flocked to Oregon and moved, and they had buses. And they were successful a little bit. They established some things there. And then ah obviously, just like everything else, you get that temporary satisfaction, and then everything crumbles.
00:47:10
Speaker
And it breaks down and you see the, the you know, who's the scapegoats and whatnot. And what's the end result of that? So that one, you know, kind of shocked me because a lot of people don't think that. the spiritual forces that inhabit some of these areas don't have periods of success. But you know something that I was telling my audience about, yeah I wanna say in the last couple of weeks, is that I think the biggest misconception about humans is that in life, you're always gonna have uncertainty and insecurities about your condition in life and about what you're looking forward to.
00:47:51
Speaker
and you know I break down this concept of faith right we know faith is the substance of things hopeful the evidence of things not seen but when you really break down faith at least from a practical standpoint I continuously elaborate that it's a reason trust and we know it's a reason trust because the book of Hebrews chapter 11 expresses all the individuals that have placed their faith in God and we see the outcome some couldn't even live because they were tortured and ripped the shreds and cut in half, stored in two, boiled alive, that they don't get to see what it actually turned out to. And some of them have. It's a so i says's a reason to trust. The other one is it's an enduring process. Like faith is is about enduring to the end. And in some cases, it's going to be tough. A lot of cases are going to be tough. But that doesn't mean that we give up.
00:48:44
Speaker
And I kind of bridge that gap that, you know, faith is either a conviction or a preference. A conviction is something that you believe no matter what, regardless of the circumstances. A preference is something that changes over time with new information. And finally, dealing with faith is a foreknowledge, which means this ah there's something within us. We know in Isaiah, it talks about that where creatures of habit and have a desire to worship God. But if we're not worshiping God, we're worshiping either different things like idols or other gods. so So this desire to have and place your faith in God is something that you have to kind of process out what these things are.
00:49:24
Speaker
And because of that, when people, as you said, the biggest so conception is that people can't, they can't get out of their own way. And when they want things immediately, they will go to any other source to get them. And that's when we get the witchcraft, the new age, the palm readers, the psychic readers, the theosophy is the different ideas because they think by going to these sources and not actually going through a process.
Maintaining Faith Through Challenges
00:49:49
Speaker
that God is not trying to protect them from something that's much more bigger. And once it's full blown, it's sin, it leads to death. And unfortunately, God can't pull you out of some of those situations because you're so deep in. Now, nothing's impossible for God. But what I mean is some people are extremely far gone, and we don't know where they are. They're like in the darkness, and we can't find them. So it's is a very interesting thing, the consequences.
00:50:15
Speaker
of digging into some of these things. Now, in terms of the crew the true crimes, are there any stories that you've you've looked into and you say that's demonic possession? like What are your thoughts on the documentary that recently came out with you know what they're doing to children? What are your thoughts to that?
00:50:38
Speaker
Funny guys that well, because, um, I'm actually dealing with that right now. Okay. So the community came out called betrayal, the perfect husband. Um, Jennifer Faison is actually gonna come on my show. She was a subject of that, but it led down to where she had a boyfriend 20 years ago. They had broke up, got back together and found out that he was actually, uh, doing things with his college students. Wow. Second season of that though, deals with a woman whose husband was And to know what they call CSAM, which is child sexual assault materials, what they're calling it now. um And that is probably the most evil thing in the world. And if there's anything that the devil has his hands on is that because now there's actual organizations that they've created to say that pedophilia is
00:51:29
Speaker
right. And it's a feeling that we should have um that age should not matter. They look at different ages of consent in different countries, you know, like I think if you go to Mexico was 14 or 15. But it's one of those things that we have to nip in the bud because that is now I think where the new hand is. And the more I turn over true crime and I have to there's so many of those stories I can do. I'm like, I don't want to oversaturate at once, but there's a ton of them, right? And on that one portrayal, they even talked to one of the girls turned out that the guy was not only now he was married to her, but not only was he in possession of it, he was producing it with his own stepdaughter. And nobody knew that until after she turned him in and found it on the computer. And there was that.
00:52:20
Speaker
So that is probably the most evil thing that is out there, that we're all trying to combat that and in the death fetish community. I don't know if you ever heard of death fetish. no It was something new to me. My business partner, she's one of the one of the top true crime writers. She wrote a book called The Girl I Never Knew Who Killed Melissa Witt. She's been following this story now for eight years. It's about a girl who disappeared at 19, end up she was killed, and they were trying to find and solve her murder. At the end of her first book, somebody wrote her and pretty much suggested that Melissa could have been killed by somebody that was a part of the death for this community. And what that is, is mainly men who get off sexual arousal on women that are dead in various states, whether they're being murdered and things that they don't like. I didn't even know this stuff exists. Wow. So part of my platform is to help eradicate
00:53:15
Speaker
those things. And the only way that we can do that is by bringing these cases and telling you where to go to fight it and signing petitions and say, Hey, look, not just me, but you also live around this because the one thing that we're finding out is if you really look, you don't know, you can be sitting next to somebody you think is the best friend and they're into this stuff. And it's, and it's really scary.
Podcast Structure and Advice for Podcasters
00:53:39
Speaker
Did you see sounds of freedom? some of it, not all of it, but I need to go back into is and I haven't, but I I've heard that the Gavin reviews about it and then there's different perspectives on it. What do you think about some of the documentaries or true crime that
00:53:57
Speaker
are much more on not so much of the murders, but just victims. So I'll give you an example. There was a documentary they had on Netflix where you had people stealing money from people. I think they called them the, it might've been Instagram or something, where the guy was like getting in touch with women, giving them false realities of what his life was, and meanwhile he was draining their accounts. Like, when you look at a story like that, like, what are you processing that?
00:54:29
Speaker
Oh yeah. We, I cover all of those, dude. Uh, we call those, uh, crimes of passion. And I'm actually listening to a podcast right now called the girlfriends that touches on that. They were all scam. Somehow they all end up dating the same guy and they're all getting scammed and he's lying. And finally he's got another wife somewhere. Um, I were all aspects of that because unfortunately it happens. And people say, well, the women was stupid. I'm like, well, I don't know you know if he's supposed to be who it is. And in the end, if they find out like he's messed up, like like he's left a briefcase or something behind, they go through it. um And my first season of two kind of authors of the extraordinary people, I covered the Monopoly scam. A lot of people didn't even know that existed. Several years ago, the Monopoly game was scammed by the mob.
00:55:16
Speaker
where all these people started winning the million dollar prizes. And then we come to find out as a community, we have been duped all these years. We were buying all these bait max and a supersized fries, never intended for us to win the million dollars that came out in the documentary. Um, but yeah, some of those, I love to do those because some of those, most of those have a happy ending where the guy's gotten caught or put away. Um, or the woman got their stuff back. But then when you sit and you look at some of these, you sit here and go, and maybe it's me looking at the outside, looking in, i like I'm like,
00:55:47
Speaker
Wouldn't that a red flag, though? i mean Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, cool. So just a little insight. Do you put visuals as just the dialogue base? Like, give us a little bit more insight and then tell what people can listen to the the podcast or where they can find you. So right now I'm all audio. This year I'm starting a Patreon where if you want to see the interviews in which I do um with my guests. You can do that on Patreon. And I think I'm obviously going to start filming my individual episodes because some people like that visual. Yeah, yeah. But as all audio, I'm everywhere, including YouTube, um Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, anywhere my podcast, you can listen to podcasts. I'm there um once a week. And my show, I call three shows in one because that's that's why the name changed. So the name of the show was True Crime and Authors. And then about the middle of season one, episode 22, I wanted to broaden my platform and talk to people that had been through some things, abuse and otherwise, because I'm like, hey, with my story,
00:56:46
Speaker
I can help people. They can help people too. So I ran it as a pilot. I kind of wanted to see what would catch on, so it did. And so that's what led to the name change of true crime authors and extraordinary people. So one week, you get a true crime story. The second week, I'm going to talk to an author. And the third week, you'll get an extraordinary person of something they've been through. So you always get three different shows, technically four, because I'll come back and tomorrow with a true crime a month. So hopefully nobody else will be bored. OK. So to those out there that are wondering,
00:57:17
Speaker
If they should start a podcast, what words of inspirational motivation would you tell them that they should and it might be something that's beneficial to the world of podcasts and what would you tell them? You never know who can benefit from your story. So if you're going to go into podcasting for the right reasons, which is because you have something to say and you think is going to impact the world, do that. But If you got people telling you get in the podcast and you're going to become mega rich and that's the motivation, don't do that because that's not what's going to happen. I truly feel that those of us that does podcasting and we've been around for a while, we have the passion for whatever it is that we do, regardless if we make money or not. Now it is a little bit more lucrative. You've got people like Podmatch and other organizations that's trying to put money in your pocket.
00:58:07
Speaker
But I think everybody has a story to say, but if you want to get that story out, make sure that's the reason why you want to do a podcast. And what about checking the landscape? was So do you think people should be fearful of the fact that some podcasts resemble your own? And what do you say for those where, like, what would you tell somebody how they should stand out in podcasting? Find your own niche within that. Find a way to elevate yourself. So true crime is way oversaturated. Just in 2020 alone, there was one million new podcasts with half of those being true crime podcasts. So what I did when I started mine is I looked around and i wanted I listened to several podcasts. How did they do it? What are they hiding from the audience? Is it dramatic? Is it music in the background? All of that. What can I do to elevate?
00:58:58
Speaker
So after all I'm still, I'm gonna do true crime, but here's what I'm gonna tell my audience, which is true. I'm a do research into the case, but I know I live in a world that you, I got to see what you're saying. So I tomorrow I say, Hey, I'm reading this off of Wikipedia, but I've done insight into the case. I've done research. I'm gonna give you all the things. Wikipedia is not, I'm a fill that in for you so that you know, and I'm a list every source. And people definitely caught that. So that's separating me there for right now. Because if you listen to a lot of true crime, it's all dramatic. Like, you know, today we're going to walk down the road. right oh um yeah You just have to reinvent yourself. And that's why I have the three legs of my show. I'm the only person that does what I do in one show. And when I started true crime and authors, I was like, how many people is doing true crime and interviewing authors at the same time? And I never called.
00:59:44
Speaker
I found a bunch of true crime. I found a bunch of authors who have true crime that started podcasts or a bunch of people that interview authors by themselves. I'm like, Oh, so that's my niche right there. I can combine these two things. No one else is doing and give you a different perspective. So just look around, see what people is doing and see how you can either improve that or reinvent that for yourself to stand out. And as a Christian looking into these things, what has, what can you tell someone that's a believer and how can it benefit them? It could benefit us because we can truly see the work that God does. Even in the cases that doesn't end up the way that we want them to, like somebody did end up dead or whatever the case, I think it does expose the evil and it does expose ah the world that we live in as Christians of what God is trying to do. It always goes back to the thing to, oh, if you serve such a mercy for God,
01:00:39
Speaker
how a guy let you do them, like, well, go back to the Bible. God gives us our own choice. He didn't tell us that the world was going to be free of sin and murder and all of that. And so if people is making their own choice and he's allowing that, this is what we get on that side. Also improving that you can deliver a true crime story as clean as possible. because you listen to some of these true crime podcasts and go, well, we can't do it without dropping the F bomb and the be here, there, and the other thing. I think I've proven that otherwise. Yes, there are some words you have to use, but I don't do a cursing podcast. You know, if you listen to my podcast, I'm not dropping F bombs everywhere because you want to present the story in a way that not only represent you as a Christian, but also
01:01:25
Speaker
a person to get through it without being offended. There's a lot of people with their kids, and they can I can't listen to you dropping your bombs everywhere. There's something I want to read that I think could be helpful for my listeners, how what you're saying is so true. You go to Romans chapter 13. I'll read from verses 1 to 14. It says, let every person be subject to the government authorities, for there is no authority except from God. And those that exist have been instituted by God. Therefore, whoever resists authority, resists what God has appointed. And those who resist will incur judgment. For rulers are not a terror to good conduct, but to bad.
01:02:07
Speaker
When you have no fear of one who is an authority, then do what is good and you receive his approval. For God's servant, for your good. But if you do wrong, be afraid, for he does not bear the sword in vain, for he is the servant of God, an avenger who carries out God's wrath on the wrongdoers. Therefore, one must be in subjection, not only to avoid God's wrath, but also for the sake of conscience. For because of this, you also pay taxes for the authorities or ministers of God attending to this very thing. Pay to all what is owed to them, taxes to whom taxes are owed, revenue to whom revenues own, respect to whom respect is owned, honor to whom honor is owed.
01:02:48
Speaker
own no one anything except to love each other for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law for the commandments you shall not commit adultery you should not murder you should not steal you should not covet any of the other commandments are summoned to this word you shall love your neighbors as yourself love does not wrong to a neighbor therefore love in the fulfillment of the lord that's just a verse 10 but the point is what you're saying in terms of the authority figures are put in order to catch those who are doing harm to the community and God appointed them. Of course, we see the error in some of the police forces, but there's always going to be a bad apple and a bunch. And unfortunately, we trust and believe that things have put into place will eventually come out and it will be addressed. So, yeah, absolutely, absolutely, absolutely. One more question in regards to, you know, some of the things that you you spoke about
01:03:45
Speaker
in your experience of abuse. The one question I didn't ask you about, how did that transfer over into the relationship?
Experiences of Spousal Abuse
01:03:52
Speaker
We spoke more about what was happening as a child, but it says that you have received it from both ends. What was the other aspect of that story? So I got married for the first time at 19, very young. I wouldn't recommend anybody to do it. But you fall into these these things so you know I believe that she was the right woman for me because our birthdays was one month apart and but and that and that year there was this movie I can't think of the name but with the life for me but it was a romantic movie and so supposedly they were born to be together and the umbilical cord was the same or whatever and they meet up years later uh the one thing that doesn't happen as you know especially around the black and brown communities is men never speak out on their own abuse
01:04:37
Speaker
And those of us that has been abused, especially by a male figure, we're very timid to share that with women because women like to use that against us in one form or another. And that's what happened in my case because of the fact that she knew I wouldn't haul off and hit her. Um, she knew that I was abused. She ran with that. I was locked outside in the middle of a, of a blizzard in Minnesota, where it's like 20 below zero with the wind till the 14 below. I was hitting the back of the head with pans. I was in a band once and my best friend from high school that I put in my house to help him out. Well, they were sleeping together when I was in the middle of Canada. Wow. And when I called that out.
01:05:20
Speaker
Uh, she became violent and wanted of to throw things and hit her mom was telling her to stash money away because we never knew she never knew what was going to happen and what I may do to her and things of that nature. But because that she knew I wouldn't hit her, she would do daring things like try to lock me in the house. And one day my mom was there and I tried to leave and my mom said, if the boy is trying to leave, let him go. And she says, I rather have him hit me than leave. And I'm like, they get crazy. And back then, you know, I was a brick house, right? I was 220, solid muscle. And i back then, I'm about to hit you. It's going to do some damage. yeah But I think that's why we as men don't talk about that. As a survivor, as to somebody that's been abused, you're already embarrassed enough, especially if it goes down the sexual realm. And then when you want to entrust somebody with that because you think that you can,
01:06:15
Speaker
and they use that against you, it takes on a whole nother facet. And then that's why we lock up. And that's why I'm on your podcast today. I've done other words. and I'm going on other ones to share my story, to let other men know we need to make this known because there's thousands of us that's been through this on both ends. And if we don't make it known, we can't help somebody else. Yeah. So what do you appreciate about your wife now, your new wife now, that that, you know, what about her makes your life so much better and so much gracious and you have a different portion of joy that you had, that you didn't have in your first marriage?
01:06:56
Speaker
Well, we certainly have had an ups and downs. We've been married 21 years in August. Wow. She is definitely my long. She always puts on me. I'm your longest relationship. Yeah. You're my lonely son forever. Um, you know, we get mad at each other. We're able to come back and and settle things down a little bit. Uh, She, her, her, her and her whole family has an issue with saying, I'm sorry. They do that in a very different way. I'm going to come out there saying, I was, I'm sorry. Um, but she does. And I think at the, in the long run, she understands at the end of the day, uh, what I'm going through. And she talks to me about that. And she's never really used my situation of being abused really against me. And she's the first that really has it. Cause everybody else will take that as, Oh, he's going to hit me because of that.
01:07:41
Speaker
But just the grace, we're both Christians, with which made that even better. So when it comes to you know the Bible was saying, Dallas will not be unequally yoked, yeah, I've been in situations where my partner wasn't really into the Bible and it showed. Because you can't go back and have that discussion of what would Jesus do? you know How would Jesus help us out of this? Because they don't really believe like you do. So it's very important to be equally yoked with that person. Good to hear that. And I'm pretty sure that's also a piece of encouragement to those that's been divorced. Let me ask you this, just to decide a curiosity. When you got divorced for the first time, did you ever feel like you would never find love again?
01:08:23
Speaker
I didn't feel like that. It was more for me a drive because I wanted to, because I wanted to prove. My whole thing was since my mom had such a bad marriage several times, right because it seemed like every man she ran into was abusive. My whole goal was I was setting up to prove that a man could get through whatever probably hasn't a marriage without being an abuser. right um And that led to me being married you know five times. And then people say, well, how have you been married so many times and then worked out? Well, I rushed into it, right? Because I'm like, OK, you're going to be the one. You're going to be the one. we I didn't give myself time to heal. I was young. I was really young in my 20s. So my advice would be, no, there's still love for everybody. If we're letting God guide us, you'll find who that person is. But if you are just coming off of ah of a marriage or a long relationship,
01:09:16
Speaker
Give yourself time to heal. Don't rush into the next one. You're going to have a lot of guys or girls that comes up and promises you, I'll never do the things that that person did. Well, how do we really know that? you know Do you know where I've really been for the last past X amount of years? And then I've told my wife before, I've never really ah used to understand it. But now I'm starting to understand why people more people is getting divorced at 21, 25, 30, 40 years. That's because there's something that's never been settled oh or something that they've held on to and never worked out. And now, after all these years, it's manifest themselves and it's coming out. So this gives you some time to heal before you jump into the next one. Even if you feel like you have something to prove, you'll get there eventually, but just give yourself some time.
01:10:00
Speaker
Amen. All right. So where can people find you again, and do you have anything else you want to add? Want to make sure we get every bit of ounce of advice and information as possible here. so So sure, you can find me on my website is truecrimeandauthors.com. Email me truecrimeandauthors at gmail.com. You can find my show, which is True Crime, Authors and Extraordinary People on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, or anywhere that you can get your podcasts at. So I hope you guys will come over and give me a listen.
01:10:32
Speaker
Only I want to say is that you have me on the show. It's been great. Anytime I'm able to share um my story, I feel blessed by being able to do that, that I'm hoping that I'm blessing somebody else out there, especially a man that says, well, if he has the courage to come on here and share this, maybe it's my time. And I'm grateful for people like you that gives those outlets, especially from a Christian perspective, because we don't have a lot of those. So thank you for having me on today. I do have one more question. You are you you're still a gamer, right? Absolutely. OK, so what's your top five games?
Love for Video Games
01:11:08
Speaker
So Call of Duty, Madden. So I was but really big in Fortville, NBA. I'm playing one right now called the Wild West, which has been on the Old West, but with vampires for some reason. um And I have to say Pac-Man is always going to be in my top five because the day is back in the 80s. So I like Mrs. Pac-Man better. I don't know. I i like the color change.
01:11:30
Speaker
Mr. Pac-Man was just super basic. They just changed their fruits at the bottom. What did you what did you think about the the other two games? Man, we should have talked about the dynamic games where they had the race car, you was getting the flags. You know what I'm talking about? It's that game. hope Back in the day. Yeah, yeah. Then they had the shooting game. You were shooting the ships. Yeah, I love that, man. At one point in life, I want to buy the the actual I think it's this I think it's like six seven hundred dollars the actual thing I want to have that in my house because I have a friend of mine her mother got it in a house and when I go every now and then I have make sure I play
01:12:07
Speaker
what do you What do you think about the upgrades that they're doing? i Obviously, you come a long way, man. When I played Madden in 2000, I remember having the Nintendo, that and Star Wars, they had this game, the racing game and stuff like that. What do you think about how they've come a long way in the graphics and upgraded and trying to simulate the the gifts and talents of some of the players into the game? What is your thoughts on how they've done that? I think it's amazing. I get mad at my kids. I'm like, man, back in the day, this 16 bit was all I had now. I've been playing Madden so long way back in the early 90s, where if the player got injured, you know it was really grainy, but you had the little dudes come up with a stricter and stricter weight. It just shows how far technology has come. Right now, we have mocap. So all these players have a suit on, and they're doing their own moves. And it makes you feel like you're really in the game and engrossed in that.
01:13:01
Speaker
Shooters has come a long way too now, right? They all look more realistic and your girl is more realistic and things that nature. So I think it's come a long way. It's only going to improve, but I'm glad to see the retro games hasn't got left behind. So there's a new service I just signed up for because 80 bucks for a lifetime. I don't know how they've done it, but it's called end stream and they have every major retro game available in history with the exception of Nintendo. And that's because Nintendo. does their own thing and refuse to license anything. So with 1300 retro games going back from pit fighter to Mortal Kombat to burger time, I mean, you name it, they got it. So I'm glad it's called net stream and stream and stream. Okay, I'm gonna look that up and they just signed to deal with Xbox. So you can pull up on your Xbox if you want for that lifetime membership of 30 bucks a year. But yeah, I'm glad to see the grades hasn't been forgotten because those are truly why we are.
01:13:58
Speaker
where we are kind of reminds me of the movie Back to the Future. You used to watch that, but none of that stuff ain't ever going to happen. And then when the 20th anniversary, they did a 20th anniversary special that showed nothing but all of the things they predicted in that movie that we now currently have, including self lacing shoes. So, okay. Oh, well, I got to ask you this Xbox or PlayStation, which one? I am an Xbox man. ah no down I will say this. It kind of got real for, him but I bought a PlayStation because PlayStation for a while was the only one that had the true real is
01:14:37
Speaker
Major League Baseball game. ah Then they messed up because they now have that same game on Xbox. um But there are still games I need to go buy PS5 for. Spider-Man is exclusive to them. And they've got a a lot to announce this year that I'm like, y'all just gonna maybe go buy another PS5. Gotcha. All right, cool. Sounds like, man, sounds like you had a rough start, but now your life is seems like it's gotten
Personal Growth and Faith's Role
01:15:03
Speaker
better. I always say that, is you know, when I when i read Genesis 39, I read the story of Joseph. stuff Had a rough start, but towards the end, he had his own family. And when he talked about reflecting, he saw how
01:15:16
Speaker
things kind of settled down for him and he had value and importance and he made it through and now things are sort of like in a little bit more of a comfortable state now where you can enjoy life a little bit more and you you've gone past the harsh tests you still gonna have tests in your life but there are periods in time when you need to enjoy that sort of flat line where things are and Okay, sounds like that's where you are right now. Am I wrong? It's not where you've been is where you're going going yeah and doing the podcast. I do talk to some of these people. You know, you're like, man, my life was bad, but you know you overcame that. That's yeah worse than what I did. Just put your hands in God's hand in and then let them guide you. He's got to be my whole life and I'm not a perfect Christian. I mess up every day. I tell people that on my podcast. I'm like, I i get grace on a daily basis that I do not deserve, but
01:16:07
Speaker
If you want life to improve and you want to get yourself out of that and don't let nobody tell you, you can't break the cycle because you can. If you have been an abused man, especially people, oh you can't break the cycle. You're going to be all your women. No, you can break that cycle. girl i'm I'm proof of that. So Amen. God is a tremendous part of my life and that's why I am where I am. So I'm glad to be here. Alright, sounds
Closing Prayer and Reflections
01:16:29
Speaker
good. So can you praise out close out and pray for us? Sure. Your heavenly father, I thank you for today and thank you for allowing me to be here. And the truth of the matter is with Jonathan. I hope that today, my story and the comments that you've had has helped somebody and maybe even brought somebody into the fold by you letting them know that you are the one and only true God and the savior of life and who that we all need to be looking up So Lord, I pray for a blessing on the audience of they all have a great day.
01:17:01
Speaker
And I thank you for this opportunity and in Jesus name we pray. Amen. Amen.