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Stay Sparked #60 "NOT Sparked"
8 Plays1 year ago
We initially cancelled this scheduled recording because Halcyon was in a dark headspace. But after the 3 of us had a supportive 30 minute private conversation, we decided that it would be helpful to record the thoughts we were discussing.
We talked about why it is perfectly okay to not be okay. We talked about how listening can be better than advice. And how can you be supportive to a friend who is not feeling their best?
HOSTS
BETSY FINKLEHOO is a healer of massage therapy, CranioSacral and Dharma Coaching. She is an 8 year burner and has spent the last several years seeped in the personal development world, cultivating her passion for transformation and growth. Her recent project, The Power Affirmation Journal and virtual group empowers women to cultivate self awareness and healthy habits so they can live in greater freedom, mind body and spirit.
http://poweraffirmation.com/
Click here to get a FREE affirmation for Stay Sparked Listeners!
HALCYON is full-time Love Ambassador. He is the founder of Hug Nation YouTube channel and daily zoom gratitude circles. He is co-founder of the Pink Heart Burning Man camp and the 1st Saturdays project for people experiencing homelessness. In his free time he coaches individuals on how to live joyfully and authentically. His other podcast is "Hard on the 80's."
http://LifeStudent.com
JANUS REDMOON is a 10-time Burner, and has spent the last several years as an advocate for psychedelic medicine research and treatment. He is the founder and CEO of NuWorld Nutritionals, a nutritional supplement company providing mushroom-based, all-natural products to improve and maintain health for both body and mind. (Use code "SPARKED" for 10% off)
http://www.nuworldnutritionals.com
MASSIVE Thank you to Dub Sutra for their beautiful opening music. Check out their incredible music catalogue online.
https://dubsutra.com
Recommended
Transcript
Introduction to the Funk Theme
00:00:01
Speaker
Welcome to Stay Sparked.
00:00:03
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We are three longtime friends here to share inspiration with you, aim to light you up.
00:00:09
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I'm Betsy.
00:00:10
Speaker
I'm Halcyon.
00:00:12
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And I'm Giannis.
00:00:13
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On today's episode, I showed up in a funk.
00:00:16
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So we talked about what do you do when you're not feeling sparked?
00:00:20
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And how do we show up for others and ourselves when we are in the funk?
00:00:24
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We explore an authentic conversation around our podcast process and give you a little insight into who we are.
00:00:33
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Enjoy the episode.
Authenticity and Canceled Plans
00:00:35
Speaker
Welcome to Stay Sparked.
00:00:36
Speaker
Today, we are going to share the topic of not being sparked all the time.
00:00:42
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We came together this morning and decided to cancel our plans because I'm not having a really good day.
00:00:51
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I've had a not few good days in a row.
00:00:54
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And I don't like to use the word depression, but I'm definitely in a funk and it's definitely feeling heavy.
00:01:02
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And we decided that maybe putting on a happy face and pretending to be sparked would not be in alignment with us or this broadcast.
00:01:13
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So
00:01:13
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Today we're going to talk a little bit about not being sparked, how that is okay, how I think that all of us at some point are at a point when we are sparked and maybe not so sparked, and then how do we act?
Being a Supportive Friend
00:01:26
Speaker
How do we be a good friend for someone when they're not so sparked?
00:01:31
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And this came up because my co-hosts are being terrible friends right now.
00:01:37
Speaker
No, no, no, that's not exactly what happened.
00:01:40
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I actually need to vent about it.
00:01:43
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I, you know, coming into the broadcast this morning, I was feeling really anxious and worried about what I thought was expected and worried about what they might say.
00:01:55
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And so we've been talking through that and we want to just keep talking through that.
00:01:58
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So...
00:02:03
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I'll share that this is a fairly normal occurrence for me.
00:02:09
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Throughout the year, I have maybe
00:02:13
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three or four bouts of this, and even saying that out loud right now is helpful because when I'm in it, my mind wants to make inventory of why things are terrible, justifying my beliefs.
00:02:31
Speaker
And sometimes even having a conversation about it with somebody, somebody who's well-meaning,
00:02:38
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They can start to tell me how great I am and how much I have going on.
00:02:44
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And my instinct is to build up evidence in my head of why they're wrong and why they don't really know the truth, which is that I do have all these real reasons why life sucks.
00:02:56
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So...
00:03:01
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I wanted to maybe just open it up to maybe what you guys were feeling and what you've, maybe some of the things that you shared with me as we started.
00:03:11
Speaker
Yeah, thank you.
Navigating Funks with Empathy and Boundaries
00:03:12
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I'm so glad that we are choosing to record because this offering to our community of Stay Sparked, one of our values is authenticity.
00:03:23
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And here we are sharing an authentic moment of navigating some of the density of, you know, a chemical environment.
00:03:34
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experience, right?
00:03:35
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That's what's happening, right?
00:03:38
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When we hit low places, we have these chemical reactions.
00:03:41
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Same thing when we're hitting high places.
00:03:43
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We're having these chemical responses in our brains.
00:03:46
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And so really what we started to explore in the pre-call was about how do we get to be there for each other in different moments when things are challenged?
00:03:58
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or when someone is down.
00:04:01
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I know for me personally, one of the practices that's been really important and I'm noticing more and more how important it is, is to be able to just simply be there and not try to change, not try to fix.
00:04:15
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We spoke last week on nervous system regulation around like, you know, if you're fired up and having an experience and someone tells you just take a deep breath, how much resistance there can actually be when we hear that.
00:04:28
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Like, no, I don't want to take a deep breath.
00:04:30
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I'm just going to, I'm going to actually hold my breath because you're telling me what to do.
00:04:33
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And it's the same thing.
00:04:34
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If I'm feeling down and I just want to be down, I don't want someone to be telling me what to do.
00:04:41
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And so as a friend, how do we learn to just simply be with someone, love them through it, hold that space while also having our own personal boundaries, right?
00:04:52
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How do I take responsibility for my own happiness when I'm with somebody who is
00:04:57
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you know, grieving, you know, how do we practice empathy and stay balanced and grounded without taking on other people's stuff?
00:05:05
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You know, I think it's a, it's a practice.
00:05:09
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And so here we are in the experience of that directly of just saying, Hey, Hey, we hear you.
00:05:15
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You're not sparked right now and that's okay.
00:05:18
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And let's just keep hanging out.
00:05:21
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Yeah.
Accepting Difficult Emotions
00:05:22
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And something that has been a bit of a, maybe not a mantra, but it's been a bit of a, a phrase that I've uttered a lot recently, because I've got some, a decent amount of, uh, uh, people slash negativity kind of flowing through my world at the moment.
00:05:41
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And I know that this too shall pass.
00:05:44
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Um, but the same thing that I've used before with some friends, we're trying to be friends.
00:05:52
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I understand their, uh, their desire to help, but, uh, I find myself thinking for a while and then that, that ended up like actually having to say like, okay, you know, do less.
00:06:04
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Like we don't need to be like, we're always trying to do something.
00:06:07
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We're always trying to help.
00:06:07
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We're always trying to fix.
00:06:09
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Um, and you know, fix others.
00:06:11
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We're always trying to fix ourself.
00:06:12
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And I think it's, it's important to like, be like, you know, no, I'm in a fuck.
00:06:17
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That's all right.
00:06:18
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I don't, I'm not enjoying it.
00:06:20
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Not going to wallow in it, but I don't necessarily want to rush the process of it.
00:06:24
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Uh, there's something to be said for cannibaling into the feeling and just being like, you know, I've been in it.
00:06:31
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I'm like, I'm going to be in it for a day.
00:06:34
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I might be in it for a week, but I'm going to be in it.
00:06:36
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And I'm not, instead of resisting.
00:06:38
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Just go with it and kind of lean into it a little bit.
00:06:41
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And you'll know when you're wall, you'll know when you're just like, is it for me, when I kind of do that, I can always kind of tell when I'm just kind of just beating myself and just being like, okay, all right, enough.
00:06:52
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I'm ready.
00:06:53
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It's been a day.
00:06:54
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It's been a week, month, whatever, um, an hour.
00:06:57
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I'm, I'm ready to kind of shift and respecting, like you said, um, the chemical.
00:07:03
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Aspect of it.
00:07:03
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Sometimes that just needs to be fixed on its own.
00:07:06
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It's not always chemicals though.
00:07:07
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Sometimes it's shit really sucks.
00:07:09
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So it's like, all right, I'm just this, yeah, life sucks right now.
00:07:13
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Um, like objectively.
00:07:14
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So, but it's going to change this too, shall pass and I'm going to be in it while I'm in it.
00:07:20
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And then when it's time to transition, I'll transition and respecting other people's process with that, like seeing somebody's process and.
00:07:27
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maybe tamping down our, our need, our desire to fix our, our loved one's situation and just be like, okay, I'm, I'm here for you.
00:07:35
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Just letting you know.
00:07:38
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And as you, as you alluded to earlier, Betsy, like sometimes we do want, even though we don't want
00:07:43
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Let's say that the help we do want the check in.
00:07:47
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So I want you to knock on my door and say, everything's okay so that I can scream at you, go away.
00:07:52
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Um, but, but it means something to, to have you come knock on the door, uh, so to speak.
00:07:57
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So, so it's important to kind of recognize what other people's needs, um, might not be there somewhat in alignment, but it can be a little like different than how we imagined it might look.
Living in Alignment with Truth
00:08:09
Speaker
Yeah.
00:08:09
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I know that leading up to this call, let's check in with you guys.
00:08:17
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I was nervous and, you know, did not want to go down the direction of maybe a traditional episode for us.
00:08:28
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You know, like I did not want to hear a list of activities that would be helpful to me.
00:08:34
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No.
00:08:35
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I did not want...
00:08:36
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And I think that it's great.
00:08:37
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We often, the three of us get together.
00:08:39
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And so a lot of our episodes are, here are the things that we have done in the past in these situations that have been helpful.
00:08:44
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And it's, I love that.
00:08:46
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But it is, I think, really important to know that, especially when you're dealing with depression or funk or a chemical brain down period,
00:08:57
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that that can be really difficult for someone to hear especially when like I know that I have lived with this mind for over five decades I know very well what it's capable of and where its limitations are and so I
00:09:19
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I, getting reminded of something that I know that I should do and I'm not doing just makes me feel worse about myself.
00:09:30
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You know, it's just, oh, exactly right.
00:09:32
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I should be exercising more.
00:09:33
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Oh, I shouldn't have eaten so much ice cream yesterday or any ice cream yesterday.
00:09:37
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But yes, I did eat ice cream yesterday.
00:09:39
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Even though the day before when I ate two points of ice cream, I told myself no ice cream the next day.
00:09:43
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And I did eat ice cream yesterday.
00:09:45
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So if you tell me today, you should eat healthy.
00:09:49
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that does not make me feel better.
00:09:51
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Because then I just start feeling like, ugh.
00:09:54
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More hard on yourself.
00:09:57
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Yeah.
00:09:57
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Yeah.
00:09:58
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And so the idea of just like, and I so appreciate the pivot, the scene that you made, you two have made of like, what if we just are here for you?
00:10:08
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What if we just talk about this?
00:10:11
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And I felt like a legitimate weight.
00:10:13
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I felt like I was in cement.
00:10:18
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And then when we decided we weren't going to stick with our plan of the topic that we were gonna do or supposed to do, you know, according to our plan, I just felt this huge relaxation.
00:10:30
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It's like, oh, because even though I know that you guys love me and you aren't going to be mad if we don't keep with our plans, I still feel like, you know, like there's something subconscious, like I don't want to let my friends down.
00:10:42
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I don't want to let my friends down.
00:10:45
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I hear that.
00:10:46
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And I think that's really common.
00:10:48
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And one of the things that I really value and have been noticing more and more is that when we live in alignment to our truth, whatever that might be in the moment, it's always changing, then that can create a very powerful ripple effect.
Embracing Change to Reduce Suffering
00:11:05
Speaker
And I will give an example of something that just happened.
00:11:08
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We were all, the three of us here and many other people were planning to be together for a weekend experience.
00:11:15
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And there was all this planning for months.
00:11:18
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And then two to three days before it was canceled because the leader had to had to cancel.
00:11:26
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She wasn't feeling well.
00:11:28
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She was living in alignment to her truth.
00:11:30
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And then that created a ripple of all kinds of different things and changes that we all found our way through.
00:11:37
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And I know for me personally, it actually created a whole other experience that would not have happened unless she canceled.
00:11:45
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Right.
00:11:45
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And so when we can really tune in to what feels right for me right now.
00:11:51
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And of course, mindfulness definitely matters when we are in relation with others and when other people have relationships.
00:11:57
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you know, dependencies on us, we get to find grace in being able to check in, you know, with the adjustments that might be needed.
00:12:08
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But I find that if and when we all are living in the most
00:12:13
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connection to our authentic truth and are able to express that with love and kindness, then there can be so much goodness that can occur.
00:12:23
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You know, if you express your need like, hey, actually, I'm not feeling quite right to record today, like letting that be okay.
00:12:30
Speaker
And then this is a perfect example.
00:12:32
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We started just chatting and then all of a sudden we started realizing, well, the chatting that we're having right now is actually really valuable and we want to record this and share this because
00:12:43
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We're we all go through different waves of challenges.
00:12:48
Speaker
Right.
00:12:48
Speaker
We're all human.
00:12:49
Speaker
We experience this.
00:12:52
Speaker
Like you said, this
Gratitude and Affirmations in Funks
00:12:53
Speaker
too will pass.
00:12:53
Speaker
Everything's just always changing.
00:12:55
Speaker
And so how do we get to live in the moment and follow where the flow is taking us?
00:13:03
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What is that chant you have, Betsy, from the Vipassana about changing, changing?
00:13:08
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How does that go?
00:13:08
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Yeah.
00:13:09
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So, Goenka is the teacher for Vipassana.
00:13:12
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Goenka brought the Vipassana teachings from the east to the west.
00:13:18
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And he says, Anicca, Anicca, Anicca.
00:13:22
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And that is basically recognizing impermanence.
00:13:26
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Everything changing, changing, changing.
00:13:28
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This too will change.
00:13:29
Speaker
Everything changing, changing, changing.
00:13:31
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This thought is going to change.
00:13:32
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This sensation is going to change.
00:13:34
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This breath is going to change.
00:13:35
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This life is going to change.
00:13:37
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Everything, everything, everything is changing.
00:13:40
Speaker
And the practice or the Buddhist teachings is essentially that when we can be so attuned to this deep knowing that it's a universal law that everything is always changing,
00:13:53
Speaker
then we can find a space of balanced mind that can help us to eradicate suffering, which the teaching is that it's aversion and craving is what basically leads to all paths of suffering.
00:14:08
Speaker
And so when we have that equal mind, from the practice of knowing this too will change, then we can move through life with so much more ease and grace and joy and balance.
00:14:20
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It's a very powerful thing to keep coming back to that reminder.
00:14:23
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This too will change.
00:14:24
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This pain in my back, this pain in my head, this funk that I'm in, this too will change.
00:14:31
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you know, it's like my passion is in affirmations.
00:14:34
Speaker
And it's not only about a positive affirmation, it's an affirmation to focus on what's alive right now to help me get through, right?
00:14:42
Speaker
This too will change as an affirmation that can help to focus on the present moment.
00:14:49
Speaker
Because when we're in a funk, it's so easy to get into the like negative thought loops and the stories and the like, you know, like you were saying, like,
00:14:56
Speaker
anchoring in the beliefs that it's like no life sucks and I it's hard and it's just gonna keep being that way and the spinning monkey mind but an affirmation of this too will change this too will change this too will change I'm changing everything's always changing and help to just clear away that monkey mind and then get into the breath right or an affirmation of the other day I like I used one I shared this on the beginning of the call was um I'm angry and that's okay
00:15:26
Speaker
Because I was in an angry moment and someone was like, we should just do some affirmations.
00:15:30
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And I was like, okay, my affirmation is I'm angry and that's okay.
00:15:35
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It's okay.
00:15:36
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I'm angry.
00:15:38
Speaker
So it's not just about like trying to bypass and throw an affirmation on top of a feeling of challenge.
00:15:46
Speaker
Yeah, just throw an affirmation at it.
00:15:48
Speaker
That'll be fun.
00:15:48
Speaker
I'm happy.
00:15:49
Speaker
I'm happy.
00:15:50
Speaker
I'm happy.
00:15:50
Speaker
But actually I'm really pissed off.
00:15:52
Speaker
Yeah, take two affirmations and call us in the morning.
00:15:55
Speaker
Yeah, and it may just be like, I accept that I'm in a funk right now.
00:16:01
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I love and accept myself, even though I'm in a really hard place, because I know this is going to change too.
00:16:08
Speaker
And I'm going to give myself permission to just feel all the feels, and that's okay.
00:16:12
Speaker
That's like getting into the deeper parts work too.
00:16:14
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It's like talking to our inner child and saying, hey, they're there.
00:16:17
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It's okay.
00:16:18
Speaker
You can feel all the feels you need to feel, and I'm going to be right here waiting for you.
00:16:24
Speaker
Yeah, that's, that's, that's tied very closely.
00:16:27
Speaker
That's, that's a beautiful share.
00:16:28
Speaker
Thank you, Betsy.
00:16:28
Speaker
And that is tied into what I call just, you know, the way I look, I view expectation is that I understand that there are such a thing as reasonable expectations.
00:16:39
Speaker
Like I fully expect, you know, somebody to keep their word if they say they're going to do something, but that I feel is in large part, the main thing that upsets us or disappoints us is that our expectations are not being met.
00:16:53
Speaker
And I'm expecting to record a podcast today.
00:16:56
Speaker
And if it doesn't happen, I'm going to feel a type of way about that.
00:16:59
Speaker
It's like, no, I'm, if I had no expectation where it just is what it is, like this event that you're talking about, Betsy, I think that was why so many people were so able to just flow into the change.
00:17:10
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Okay.
00:17:10
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This is not happening now.
00:17:11
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It's like, okay.
00:17:14
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I was, you know, I was geared up for it.
00:17:16
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I was ready.
00:17:17
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It's not happening.
00:17:18
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That's fine.
00:17:19
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That's okay.
00:17:19
Speaker
So, um, dropping the expectation that something is supposed to be a certain way really helps me at least to just kind of go with the flow and, uh, you know, expecting to be
00:17:31
Speaker
Mr. Mr. Jolly Rogers, you know, every morning.
00:17:34
Speaker
And it's like some, some days I'm not, I'm not feeling that.
00:17:37
Speaker
And then we can feel the type of way about that is like, God, I'm going to fuck again.
00:17:43
Speaker
And it's just like, no, yeah, I'm going to fuck again.
00:17:45
Speaker
Cause I'm not attached to you.
00:17:47
Speaker
Uh, or I don't have an expectation that I'm supposed to feel different today.
00:17:50
Speaker
So that works.
00:17:51
Speaker
Oh, being feeling any type of weight works for me.
00:17:54
Speaker
Totally.
00:17:55
Speaker
You know, and also to add on to that, to give ourselves permission to feel disappointed, for example, right?
00:18:01
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Yeah, I was disappointed.
00:18:03
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And I have the choice on how long I want to stay in disappointment.
00:18:08
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I can stay in disappointment for like many, many days all through the weekend that I was supposed to be at this thing.
00:18:14
Speaker
I wish I was there.
00:18:14
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I wish I was.
00:18:15
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I wish.
00:18:15
Speaker
That's going to take me out of the moment.
00:18:18
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So when the news came, it was like, okay, I'm disappointed and I don't want to waste my time being disappointed for too long.
00:18:27
Speaker
I'm just going to keep moving forward.
00:18:29
Speaker
But it takes a high level of self-awareness to be able to do that.
00:18:34
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And I think that there's so many different levels and layers of disappointment that we can have in our lives, you know, to the level of like profound
Expectations, Disappointment, and Unpredictability
00:18:45
Speaker
grief.
00:18:45
Speaker
And so some things are something that you can let go of an expectation, but some of the expectations are about like, you know,
00:18:54
Speaker
fair treatment of fellow humans in the world, you know, or lack of pain in a loved one.
00:19:02
Speaker
These are like really difficult things or a belief that a path that I'm on is one of integrity and maybe realizing it's not so much, you know, maybe the actions that I'm taking are
00:19:20
Speaker
not in alignment as I thought.
00:19:22
Speaker
And so sometimes the funk, the negativity, the icky feelings can be a really important message that there is something to look at, something to sit with, or something to grieve.
00:19:37
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I think some of my current situation is a grief about a lot of things.
00:19:44
Speaker
There's certain aspects of aging that I'm struggling to let go of, I'm struggling to really accept.
00:19:50
Speaker
But there is a grief process of going, okay, this is... And so there's expectations of like, okay, I can't expect to not have pain in this way anymore.
00:20:01
Speaker
I can't expect that I can do this activity in the way that I did.
00:20:04
Speaker
I can't...
00:20:06
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And not beat myself up and not say it's going to feel this way forever.
00:20:12
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You know, try to hold on a little bit to this too shall pass.
00:20:15
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That's not going to be so obsessive.
00:20:16
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But in this moment, it really feels like a big deal.
00:20:21
Speaker
And it really feels like something that I can't just pretend is not a feeling.
00:20:24
Speaker
It is something that it's...
00:20:28
Speaker
This is my reality right now has some, some reasons to, to out and, and to have friends that are, that are going to say, yeah, okay.
00:20:39
Speaker
You can pout, you know?
00:20:42
Speaker
Um, I hear you.
00:20:43
Speaker
Yeah.
00:20:44
Speaker
It sounds like it's a rough thing.
00:20:46
Speaker
Yeah.
00:20:46
Speaker
That sounds really rough.
00:20:48
Speaker
And I hear you.
00:20:49
Speaker
I see that.
00:20:51
Speaker
That's some of the most powerful language to just be with someone and say that.
00:20:56
Speaker
You know, I have a friend who has been in a very deep grieving and disappointment for like a long time, like years, because he was gearing up to have a family and started going in this direction.
00:21:12
Speaker
Then all of a sudden the rug got pulled out.
00:21:14
Speaker
And so he's been like having to unwind this very deep expectation and hope and desire to have a family and do the thing.
00:21:23
Speaker
that he was wanting to do and now having to do this whole other thing and so it's very tense you know to like hold on to a lost dream essentially you know how often do we as humans like have such a big dream for our lives and then like it doesn't work out the way that we wanted it to and that's gonna be so heartbreaking and like to be able to be there for a friend and just simply check in just say hey hey i'm here just checking in it's like yeah life is really hard like i hear you and i'm right here
00:21:53
Speaker
I still love you.
00:21:55
Speaker
You know, it's so it's not easy.
00:21:57
Speaker
I know for me, my tendency has been to want to like spread some sparks.
00:22:03
Speaker
Here's a little sparkle.
00:22:04
Speaker
Like you want to come outside.
00:22:06
Speaker
You want to go to dance.
00:22:07
Speaker
You want to like listen to some music, you know, and I think that there is value in that.
00:22:12
Speaker
of like offering little like little nuggets you know here you go um but like not forcing it you know and my mom always says you know you can uh if someone's in the dark all you can do is stand in the light and wave you know and it's like hey i'm here
00:22:30
Speaker
You can come over here when you're ready, but I'm not going to try and get you to come over here.
00:22:34
Speaker
You get to choose.
00:22:35
Speaker
It's will.
00:22:36
Speaker
It's our own will that will, you know, guide us to where we want to go.
Using Gratitude for Perspective
00:22:42
Speaker
And so to just like, yeah, be a light.
00:22:47
Speaker
Yeah.
00:22:47
Speaker
A light that can't exist while there is darkness.
00:22:53
Speaker
In my gratitude practice, it's really important not to meet someone's frustration or grief or darkness with darkness.
00:23:04
Speaker
Like, but what are you grateful for?
00:23:06
Speaker
Like, there's a real delicacy to like, that sounds really tough.
00:23:12
Speaker
And if you want to look for something good in that, that can be helpful too.
00:23:17
Speaker
I know that for me, like a gratitude practice is really helpful to me to, in normal situations, finding the silver lining, finding the silver lining.
00:23:26
Speaker
Last few days, I have been forcing myself in days of like,
00:23:31
Speaker
I am grateful that I have use of all my limbs.
00:23:33
Speaker
I am grateful that I have a roof over my head and I feel safe in my place where I live, you know.
00:23:40
Speaker
And it's still helpful, but it has to exist with my darkness.
00:23:46
Speaker
It doesn't erase the darkness.
00:23:47
Speaker
It doesn't make any of it go away.
00:23:48
Speaker
It just tries to keep some, like, some tethering to the reminder that I know I have a huge list of gratitude.
00:23:55
Speaker
I can't really access it all that right now, but I'm going to access the super basic stuff.
00:24:00
Speaker
just to keep myself afloat.
00:24:04
Speaker
I felt like what am I learning?
00:24:07
Speaker
That's a silver lining, right?
00:24:08
Speaker
What am I learning here?
00:24:10
Speaker
What is this dark moment teaching me?
00:24:12
Speaker
What do I have to learn here?
00:24:13
Speaker
We're here to evolve and learn and grow.
00:24:16
Speaker
And then I can inquire from that place of like, wow, okay, I'm in a deep place and there's something here for me.
00:24:24
Speaker
Where's the gem?
00:24:24
Speaker
It's so dark inside this cave, but there's got to be some gems in here.
00:24:30
Speaker
And that like, I know it's been really, really helpful for me and
00:24:33
Speaker
A lot of times in conversations with people that are in a dark place, it's like just inquiring.
00:24:37
Speaker
So what are you learning right now?
00:24:39
Speaker
What's, you know, what's just the insights that you're gathering?
00:24:44
Speaker
And have you gotten any lessons yet?
00:24:47
Speaker
I think we could do some clothing sparks and then close with gratitude since we skipped it.
00:24:53
Speaker
Or gratitude then affirmations that I meant.
00:24:59
Speaker
My closing spark is to be that when in a funk, just be aware of
00:25:11
Speaker
the desire to commit to a feeling.
00:25:16
Speaker
I had a tendency or a desire today to be in funk.
00:25:22
Speaker
Not consciously.
00:25:24
Speaker
Of course, I don't want to feel this way, but something deep in me was felt committed to it.
00:25:29
Speaker
And so just being aware of that
00:25:32
Speaker
allowed me so when this conversation had the opportunity to be different, I was able to kind of let go and go that direction.
00:25:39
Speaker
And when I'm having the opportunity to like in this moment feel better than I did an hour ago, I'm able to allow that.
00:25:48
Speaker
Whereas if you would have asked me an hour and a half ago, do you have the capacity to feel better today?
00:25:57
Speaker
I would say, I don't think so.
00:25:58
Speaker
I don't think so.
00:25:59
Speaker
So I'm trying to, my spark is to see if you can notice a commitment to feeling bad.
Accepting Life's Ups and Downs
00:26:08
Speaker
Not that I'm saying let it go.
00:26:09
Speaker
I'm not saying it's easy to do or even that you need to let it go.
00:26:12
Speaker
Just to notice, am I committed to feeling something bad?
00:26:16
Speaker
Yeah.
00:26:19
Speaker
That's a good one.
00:26:20
Speaker
That's good.
00:26:21
Speaker
Uh, I was having a conversation over the weekend and which I think, um, a lot of us have had before, but there's an aspect that we, there's a point that when we, we, when we feel like we're on a spiritual journey, that we get to a point where we believe that a lot of us believe that we're, we're trying to recreate, uh, heaven on earth.
00:26:40
Speaker
We're,
00:26:41
Speaker
trying to go, we're trying to bring back this, this high enlightened perspective, and this is how I'm going to live my life.
00:26:48
Speaker
And this is how I'm going to walk the earth.
00:26:50
Speaker
That is some, some, some potentially enlightened being that exhibiting all this light behavior.
00:26:57
Speaker
And then we come to the realization that we're not here for that.
00:27:00
Speaker
It's like, we came, we came, this is getting into the woo woo aspect.
00:27:05
Speaker
So apologies for my nod, our, our nod woo listeners, but
00:27:11
Speaker
We came from that.
00:27:12
Speaker
We came from a place where everything is perfect and we are going back to a place where everything is perfect.
00:27:17
Speaker
But right now, while we're here, everything is not perfect.
00:27:20
Speaker
And that's what we kind of signed up for.
00:27:22
Speaker
We signed up for the human experience, which is, if nothing else, messy.
00:27:27
Speaker
And it has a lot of ups and downs.
00:27:29
Speaker
It has the highest of highs.
00:27:31
Speaker
It's the lowest of lows and all the points in between.
00:27:33
Speaker
And we are here for all of that.
00:27:35
Speaker
We are here to experience it.
00:27:36
Speaker
And it helps me as a reminder, just be like, no, this is kind of, this is kind of what I signed up for.
00:27:41
Speaker
It's like, I really wanted to be here and, uh, and having this experience of, of life and this body with these people in my, in my life.
00:27:50
Speaker
So that allows me to, even when things are feeling super, uh, dark and just low and frustrated and frustrating that I'd like, there's a part of me that's like, yeah, yeah.
00:28:04
Speaker
I signed up for this.
00:28:04
Speaker
Okay.
00:28:05
Speaker
All right.
00:28:06
Speaker
Be in it.
00:28:07
Speaker
Love it.
00:28:08
Speaker
And, uh,
00:28:09
Speaker
Yeah.
00:28:10
Speaker
And just knowing that, you know, our body has its own like intelligence and sometimes the body is like, I want to feel this right now.
00:28:16
Speaker
And it's like, okay.
00:28:18
Speaker
So, um, yeah, just embrace it, embrace it.
00:28:21
Speaker
That's what, that's what, that's what I do my best to try to do.
00:28:24
Speaker
And, um, if I need to embrace it for a while, then that's what I'm going to do.
00:28:27
Speaker
So, um, yeah, so that's, yeah.
00:28:31
Speaker
So that's my, my gratitude is kind of for it all, you know.
00:28:37
Speaker
Well, I think my closing sparks are similar to a lot of the things I share.
00:28:43
Speaker
I feel like the more that we cultivate our own self-awareness practices on a regular basis, then the easier it is to navigate the funk.
00:28:54
Speaker
when it comes because it's natural you know and so I personally feel like the um dailies the every day in every way finding ways to strengthen our awareness or I'll speak for myself speak you know when I'm practicing self-awareness whether that's through meditation or yoga or breath or
00:29:20
Speaker
or visualization or affirmation, then when these denser moments, then I can start to catch myself in a story more easily.
00:29:32
Speaker
Because before, or at times where I'm not practicing self-awareness, and then all of a sudden I get swept up in the swirl of stories, negative thought loops, then I'll stay in it for a long time.
Daily Self-Awareness Practices
00:29:46
Speaker
And when I am practicing self-awareness, then a story will start to arise and then I can actually see it as a story.
00:29:53
Speaker
And then I have the power to change it because I go, oh, wait, is that a story that I want to focus on right now?
00:29:59
Speaker
Is that true?
00:30:01
Speaker
Is this what I'm thinking true about this other person or about the situation or whatever it is that is triggering the...
00:30:07
Speaker
angst and pain or depression or whatever it might be.
00:30:11
Speaker
And that is like the snip.
00:30:14
Speaker
It's like snip that storyline and go, come on back.
00:30:18
Speaker
Come on back into this moment and choose.
00:30:23
Speaker
And so meditation, so powerful.
00:30:26
Speaker
Every day in every way, keep coming back to self-awareness even when we're in the funk, witness the funk.
00:30:33
Speaker
So powerful.
00:30:35
Speaker
So yeah, that is my closing spark.
00:30:38
Speaker
And my gratitude is for you guys.
00:30:41
Speaker
I just love you so much.
00:30:43
Speaker
And I'm so grateful that we can ride these waves of conversation and listening to what's being called forward in the moment.
00:30:52
Speaker
And so I hope that those of you out there listening are gaining value from our authentic unfolding conversations.
00:31:00
Speaker
And yeah, I think that's my gratitude for today for you guys and for our listeners.
00:31:08
Speaker
I'll pop onto that and say I'm grateful for you guys and grateful that we have enough trust that I knew I could show up and it would unfold perfectly whether we record it or not.
00:31:24
Speaker
So I'm just grateful for that level of trust that we have.
00:31:30
Speaker
Likewise, likewise.
00:31:32
Speaker
I am grateful for Betsy for giving me and all of us the perfect title for an album, Witness the Funk.
00:31:42
Speaker
I want to become a musician just so I can release an album and have this as a title, Witness the Funk.
00:31:50
Speaker
Thank you.
00:31:51
Speaker
Thank you, Betsy.
00:31:52
Speaker
Thank you.
00:31:55
Speaker
Oh, well, beautiful.
00:31:56
Speaker
So thank you guys for listening.
Closing and Gratitude
00:31:59
Speaker
We'll do a little short little reminder where you can find us.
00:32:02
Speaker
Power affirmation.com, new world nutritionals.com and life student.com.
00:32:09
Speaker
Did I get that right?
00:32:10
Speaker
Boom.
00:32:10
Speaker
Well done.
00:32:12
Speaker
Send us messages.
00:32:13
Speaker
We have tools for you guys.
00:32:14
Speaker
We have products for you guys.
00:32:16
Speaker
We love hearing from you guys out there.
00:32:19
Speaker
Feel free to hop on our Instagram and share a little in the comments if there was anything that sparked you in this conversation as well as leaving us a...
00:32:30
Speaker
Five-star review on Apple Podcasts.
00:32:33
Speaker
That's always really helpful for us to spread the sparks.
00:32:37
Speaker
And in State Spark tradition, love to close us out with an affirmation.
00:32:42
Speaker
You guys ready?
00:32:42
Speaker
Love it.
00:32:46
Speaker
Yes.
00:32:46
Speaker
It's not about just staying happy all the time.
00:32:48
Speaker
It's about being real.
00:32:50
Speaker
So the affirmation is, I love and accept who I am and where I am in this moment.
00:32:58
Speaker
I love and accept who I am and where I am in this moment.
00:33:02
Speaker
I love and accept myself for who I am and where I am in this moment.
00:33:07
Speaker
I love and accept myself for who I am and where I am in this moment.
00:33:12
Speaker
One more time.
00:33:13
Speaker
I love and accept myself for who I am and where I am in this moment.
00:33:19
Speaker
I trust this process.
00:33:21
Speaker
I trust this process.
00:33:22
Speaker
I trust this process.
00:33:24
Speaker
I trust this process.
00:33:29
Speaker
Thank you all for listening.
00:33:30
Speaker
Stay Sparked, people.
00:33:33
Speaker
Find us on Instagram at Stay Sparked and leave us a five-star review on Apple Podcasts.
00:33:39
Speaker
Thanks so much for helping us spread these sparks.