Transcript
Speaker: Welcome to the Spiritual Fitness Podcast. I'm your host, Eric Bigger. And each week, we will explore powerful practices, inspiring stories, and expert insights to guide you on your path to holistic health.
Speaker: By blending spirituality and physical wellness, we support you in strengthening your body and soul. Whether you're a seasoned spiritual seeker or just beginning your journey, the Spiritual Fitness Podcast is here to help you unlock your inner potential and live your most vibrant, purposeful life.
Speaker: It's miracle season.
Speaker: So what actually is a mother wound? So the mother wound stems from a child. Let's say I had a mother wound, right? A child who grew up with an emotional distant mother, a mother who was overwhelming, super critical, or who might have passed down her mother wound onto the child. So in my instance, my mom was not always around.
Speaker: You know, she cooked food, she took my sister and myself to school, but I didn't get that emotional love, connectivity, and I didn't feel her presence. So I grew with that wound in my soul, in my psyche, moving through life. So how that shows up in everyday life with a man is people-pleasing, not having strong boundaries, not saying no when you need to say no. And what that creates is this over-giving, overbearing,
Speaker: young man or young boy or gentleman who's always, he's even a nice guy or he's always giving and trying to take care of the feminine, of the mother, of the woman that's in his life, but he's not being authentic.
Speaker: And the reason he's not being authentic, because that mother wound is so strong in his energy in his nervous system that he's done everything to seek the validation that he didn't get from his mom, to seek the nurturing that he didn't get from his mom, to seek the care and attention that he wanted so bad from his mom. So whoever his partner is, whoever is the closest female to he does that because he doesn't want to disappoint.
Speaker: He wants the love that he never had. And so what happens is you usually get a guy who's not strong in his boundaries. He doesn't know what he wants. He's not clear on what he wants. And so then he makes it about the woman. What do you want? What do you want to eat? Where would you like to go?
Speaker: So over time, this man builds resentment. unconsciously he starts to not really love the feminine as much as he's shown that he is because he's not being honest, but he doesn't know why. It's more of a person who gives, gives, gives, and they're not, there's no reciprocation, there's no receptivity, he's not learning how to receive because he's given from an empty cup, he's given from a false standpoint. I remember in 2024, I went to a men's retreat in Joshua Tree. And a lot of the men there were husbands. And their biggest challenge with their wives were they don't want to speak the truth because they don't want to jeopardize connection.
Speaker: That's a mother want, right? So when you can't speak the truth with love and when you can't speak the truth at all, You're going to have resentment in your body, in your consciousness, because you're saying yes when you want to say no.
Speaker: So over time, the woman, the wife, the partner thinks everything's fine because you are agreeing to this. Or you're saying yes. And or you have a partner who is very demanding, domineering, very controlling.
Speaker: But early on, you're attracted to that because that person even love bombs you or give you the love you've never had. And you see it as the love you wanted from your mom. So I say all that to say in that retreat, but most guys acknowledge that. And what we discover is that the more you speak the truth,
Speaker: you will get greater connection. However, there's a time and place when you should express your truth. You shouldn't do it in a spiteful way. You shouldn't do it in an aggressive way. Maybe have some diplomacy and certainty when you're saying it. But you have to speak your truth.
Speaker: Because if you don't, you're you're operating from a mother wound. So you're always doing things to please the mother, which is your woman, which is your spouse. So then over time, what happens?
Speaker: You get emasculated. She becomes your mom. You're always complaining. You're always a defensive. So when you're complaining, you're defensive. That means you're in your boy complex. You're not a man.
Speaker: You're not in your masculinity. You're in your wounded feminine. Your mother wound. Your mother wound is at play. And in my case, I spent years not getting in the relationship because I was so abandoned within myself, or within my soul,
Speaker: not having my mom around that I betrayed myself and I became this person who overgave, overshared because I wanted love, I wanted attention, I wanted affection. The main thing here is to know that you healing this part of you will make a greater relationship for you and your partner. You'll drop deeper into intimacy and you'll feel better about yourself because you're clear, you're authentic, and you're not doing it from a place of fear. You're doing it from a place of love when you're speaking your truth.
Speaker: When you step into this can this this ah new energy, is no vibration of healing as part of you, you unlock the phase of guilt, right? You allow guilt to be released from your body. you like If you look at the vibration meter, guilt is at a very, very low frequency.
Speaker: Shame and guilt is probably at the lowest of that vibration meter. The peace that she will arrive at where you don't feel like you got to do everything, you got to please her in every way. You don't have to say yes to every trip. You don't have to say yes to every event. You don't have to say yes to every date night. You don't have to say yes to um the movies. You can say no and keep your peace instead of over-functioning. And sometimes it's like, as a man, you're the little boy who wants to please his mom because you want that love, right? So imagine the little boy do anything for his mom just to get a hug, just to get on proud of you, just to get the love.
Speaker: And so unconsciously, as a man, you'll go in these same patterns and you'll do everything. It's the shadow part of the phrase. What does it say? Happy wife, happy life, which i think is great, but there's a gift and a shadow of everything. So the shadow part of happy wife, happy life is that you're making sure your wife needs a mat, that she's always happy, that the kids, the family have everything they need.
Speaker: However, you're not happy. You're not fulfilled. You're having unconscious resentment. You're holding in your anger and aggression. But you're playing like everything's okay. This is what a father do. This is what men do. We provide, we protect, we take care. But you're doing it from the shadow phase of the motherlone.
Speaker: When you heal this part of you, you will make more clear decisions and will be anchored in truth and authenticity and not people pleasing, not because you don't want to be abandoned. Right. And then what would have happened to is that in these parts of you that once you heal this part of you, you will show up as a better father, a better man, a better leader. You won't jeopardize the truth. Right.
Speaker: To get connection because Because jeopardizing the truth to get the connection is no different than people pleasing. People pleasing is a subtle form of manipulation. You'll do everything a person wants so they can love you, so they can give you what you want. It's like you got to work hard to do these things so people don't leave you and you get the love you want.
Speaker: But when you speak your truth with love, diplomacy, certainty, ah authenticity, the connection is greater, right? The connection is greater. But if you do it from a place because you don't want to hurt someone's feelings, and I've i've done that where I don't want to hurt someone's feelings. I'm always worrying about the other person's feelings. But what about your feelings? What about how you feel? What about what's going on inside of your world?
Speaker: See, because your mom wasn't in your life, you wasn't thought of first. You wasn't a priority. You wasn't taken care of, looked after. So what happens in the in your environment growing up, you was always outside of your frame. Outside of your frame was outside of your body. And you're in an environment searching, looking, who needs me, who needs me, who needs me. So whoever needed you, you went to them to give them what they want so you can get the love. because you was never a priority. You was never picked first. You was never nurtured. At least you never you didn't feel that way.
Speaker: So you made it your opportunity to be the mom for everybody else, right? To take care everybody. Well, all you wanted was to be taken care of. But it's simple. The way you go about this,
Speaker: It's the knowledge that, one, I think I have another one. Two, start looking at the patterns. I'm like, why am I saying yes to things I want to say no to? What am afraid of if I do speak my truth?
Speaker: Because the more you speak your truth and the more you speak from your heart and the more authentic you are, the world and your life and your relationships, your partnerships, your friendships will open up for you. But if you're always playing it cool, like everything's okay, then people are going to think you're okay when you're really suffering in silence. You're suffering inside. I want you, after you watch this, right?
Speaker: I want you to take in this information. I want you to download it in your mind, take some notes, to journal, and think about... Where is this mother wound within me as a man showing up in my life as a leader, um as a brother, father, as a man, as a soul?
Speaker: Where am I doing this? And think about what what was the relationship like with your mom? where you're overgiving, you're overfunctioning, you don't have peace inside, you're people-pleasing, you're not speaking your truth.
Speaker: So hopefully by the end of this conversation, you can get to the truth of you and understand where you can change and make a shift. And if this resonates with you, go to the show notes, click the link.
Speaker: at ericbigger.com slash workwithme and we can get on a call and we can work together and we can remove this mother wool because if you don't remove it, you're going to continue, right, to attract women who are like a mom to you.
Speaker: And anytime a woman is making you complain or you get defensive, she's your mom. The more of the woman is like a little girl or you, you're being a man. But we'll get into that in another episode.
Speaker: So I see you guys soon Work on yourself. Heal yourself. The work works. Stay spiritually fit. And if this resonates, let's work together. Be great. Peace.
Speaker: Thank you for joining us on the Spiritual Fitness Podcast. We hope today's episode has inspired you and provided valuable insights for your holistic health journey. By blended spirituality and physical wellness, you can strengthen your body, mind, and soul.
Speaker: If you enjoyed today's episode, please subscribe, rate, and leave a review. Until next time, stay strong, stay inspired, and remember, it's miracle season.
