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Martha Madrigal and Charles Tyson: Embrace Truth. Love Humanity. Get Queerer.
46 Plays1 year ago
What does it look like to cultivate a political middle ground when hate is flying from all sides? How do queer folx maintain hope when everything feels awful? How can plant-based diets be more fun?
Martha Madrigal and Charles Tyson of Full Circle The Podcast are spilling ALL. THE. TEA.
CONTENT WARNING: discussions of politics, queerphobia, racism, bullying, suicidality, explicit language.
We talk about:
the practical bits of creating a bipartisan, actually diverse and inclusive bar
and then the spiritual and emotional process of closing that neighborhood bar
the development of their number one rated news commentary podcast
how to get along with your neighbor in a post-facts era,
the continuing challenges of living a hope-filled, joyful queer life in full acceptance of how awful the world can be,
and how to create a plant-based lifestyle you actually enjoy.
Find EVERYTHING about Full Circle the Podcast and subscribe to their weekly broadcast here at their Linktree: linktr.ee/fullcirclethepod
This program is produced in south west philadelphia, in the unceded neighborhood of the black bottom community and on the ancestral land of the Lenape nation, who remain here in the era of the fourth crow and fight for official recognition by the commonwealth of Pennsylvania to this day. You can find out more about the Lenape Nation of Pennsylvania and how you can support the revitalization of their culture by going to https://lenape-nation.org.
Visit this episode's sponsor, BVP Coffee, roasting high quality coffee that benefits HBCU students:
https://bvp.coffee/uncommongoodpod
Visit this episode's sponsor, Poi Dog, chef Kiki Aranita creating sauces inspired by Hawaiian Cuisine: https://poidogphilly.com
we chat to ordinary people doing uncommon good in service of our common humanity.
we are creating community that builds relationships across difference by inviting dialogue about the squishy and vulnerable bits of life.
(un)common good with pauli reese is an uncommon good media production, where we make spirituality accessible to everyone and put content on the internet to help people stop hating each other.
thanks for joining us on the journey of (un)common good!
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Transcript
Living Normal Lives
00:00:01
Speaker
But we said who we are as a couple is unlikely. The fact that our lives are really pretty dull and normal doesn't necessarily occur to most folks.
Introducing Uncommon Good and Full Circle
00:00:26
Speaker
This is Uncommon Good, the podcast where we chat to ordinary people doing uncommon good in service of our common humanity. My name is Paul E. Reese. Fam, today I've got a delightful one for you. This is Martha Madrigal and Charles Tyson of Full Circle, the podcast. The number one rated queer news commentary podcast on Apple podcasts.
00:00:54
Speaker
today. A content warning, here that is for you. We discuss politics, queerphobia, racism, bullying, suicidality, and there is explicit language in this podcast, so listen and view at your own discretion.
Opening a Diverse Bar
00:01:09
Speaker
We go on to talk about the practical bits of creating a bipartisan
00:01:14
Speaker
actually diverse and inclusive neighborhood bar and then the spiritual and emotional process of closing that neighborhood bar during COVID.
00:01:26
Speaker
the development of their number one rated news commentary podcast, how to get along with your neighbor in a post-facts era, the continuing challenges of living a hope-filled, joyful queer life in full acceptance of how awful the world can be, and how to create a plant-based lifestyle you actually enjoy.
00:01:54
Speaker
It was a privilege to call them neighbors and it continues to be a privilege to call them friends. Please enjoy my chat to Martha and Charles. I was doing a little bit of reminiscing and nostalgia work. I wonder if it's okay if we can reminisce about the the before times like the two or three months that we knew each other in northeast Philadelphia before like everything changed. And the long
00:02:23
Speaker
the before times. One of the things that happened, so we should probably background it, we wound up buying a bar in Taconi, which is in Northeast Philadelphia. Taconi is not known for
00:02:45
Speaker
cool, diverse, artistic spaces, let's say that, those things, which is kind of what the, you know, we bought the bar, I think, and we're just going to keep it a neighborhood corner bar. And the folks we bought it from made it their mission to tell absolutely everyone who was a regular that we were going to turn it into a gay bar. Yeah.
00:03:13
Speaker
Now on so many levels that made no sense because it's just not a working business model to have a neighborhood gay bar. They used to be a thing. They're not anymore and hadn't been for years. It's not working that great for the gay bar. And the upsetting thing was we had spent months becoming regular customers ourselves and meeting the regulars and find getting the vibe at the bar.
00:03:42
Speaker
One of the reasons we bought it, so Taconi was, I lived there, I started working in Taconi in, I wanna say 1986 or so, and I moved there in 1987.
00:03:58
Speaker
At that point, it was a very, very white neighborhood with a black section. The area off Princeton Avenue by State Road has been traditionally black since in and around 1918.
00:04:20
Speaker
Um, when a lot of folks migrated north to work at distance all works, which is the company that built the town essentially. And, um, so, so those folks had been there generationally, but there, you know, it was kind of very divided, but this bar had always been integrated. And the history of the bar was that, you know, folks from, you know, black folks and white folks drank together in that bar.
00:04:50
Speaker
were decades. And that was actually one of the first things I noticed when we were looking at it, how diverse the room was. And it was. And that was comfortable. So it was very much a neighborhood bar, but it did have a comfortable diversity to it that isn't typical.
00:05:10
Speaker
But anyway, so they had said that we lost some customers, we answered an awful lot of questions, and it's also a moniker we never shook, because there were plenty of people that would not come in, and they would refer to us as the gay bar.
Events and Community Building
00:05:25
Speaker
And it was like, yeah, and the Sunoka's a gay gas station when I go get gas, and A plus is a gay convenience store, like whatever.
00:05:36
Speaker
Yeah, so we bought the bar. We had been looking in University City. We had our eye on the bar where we met. It didn't happen. And my business partner said, let's buy a bar where we live.
00:05:52
Speaker
And we did, so we owned it for five years and it became a space that was just reflective of us. So it was a very artistic space. We did first Fridays. We featured usually queer artists of color with visual art. And that ended up being organic too. Yeah, it did. And certainly a lot of performing arts. I mean, we had dance.
00:06:21
Speaker
You know, we had everything between our open mic nights and our first Fridays. And I mean, you know, there was always flurry of activity. You mentioned it on your show, but we were trying to set up like a comedy, like y'all come sort of open mic. Yeah. Yeah. Right. Right. As the lockdowns were legislated. Right. Right. So that's what it was referencing, that, you know, that's one thing we had not done.
00:06:50
Speaker
But we wanted to try. I was excited about it too. There really wasn't a comedy open mic night anywhere that was happening, that was working. I think South Street maybe had a scene. Yeah. Yes. But there weren't a lot of places where you could go and work out material. Yeah, South Street and Helium. Me too.
00:07:11
Speaker
Yeah, so we really were excited about doing that.
Challenges During COVID
00:07:16
Speaker
The saga is we bought a bar that did not have a functional kitchen. It had a kitchen, but it was so far out of code, we were not allowed to cook anything. Right. And we raised the money, we got a grant, we renovated the kitchen, we got a new range hood and all of that.
00:07:37
Speaker
And we had just finally passed our health inspection and were approved to get our health license. And we went downtown on March the 13th, Friday of 2020, to finally get our license and legally open our kitchen. And yeah, it was that Monday.
00:08:04
Speaker
the 16th when we were shut down. And, you know, that was the end of the bar. Fiscal blue balls. It becomes a much longer story than that. But yeah, but that was the end of the bar. Like, we never got to do it. And a couple days in, you know, it was kind of just numbing. And, you know, I looked at Charles and Charles looked at me and I said, the good news is they're not going to shut off the utilities now.
00:08:31
Speaker
Like, that was, you know, that was the silver lining. I'm always silver lining, you know? Yes. Might as well turn up the heat and get comfy because we're guaranteed utilities through this. And that, like, that was that, you know? Like, and we, it was an odd time. It was a really odd time. But free that happening.
00:08:56
Speaker
you know, we really made the most of that space. And I'm proud of it. I'm proud of the fact that, you know, we attracted folks from all over the city, and yes, from New Jersey, who came to Sawtown. It was Sawtown. It was the bar. And they said nothing like this exists, even in Center City.
00:09:20
Speaker
Yeah, it was very much a cheers kind of an atmosphere. My staff was all trained in being trans competent. Yeah. And understanding. Yeah, well, they just were. I mean, you know, we talked them through, we talked about it. You know, what do you do? How do you address people?
00:09:39
Speaker
We had a lot of high folks and how are y'all and that from everyone who stepped behind our bar, which is a very small staff because it was honest. We had two other bartenders, three other at one time.
00:09:57
Speaker
Yeah, so it was a chill space. And so we did, if anything, we were more of a trans bar than we were a gay bar, per se, as it turns. Being hired. Yeah, because...
00:10:13
Speaker
that just happened. And it happened to be a really comfy space and one told another told another and we had little groups that used to come in and it was a lot of fun. And they kind of jumped into the spirit of things. So we had three trans women or four at our Super Bowl party and a couple of trans guys. So it was cool. Well, I love how we had
00:10:37
Speaker
Sometimes we had ladies coming in that were dressed up for the first time, coming to our space. And I'm like, yeah, you know, like, you know, because they knew that they could, they knew it. Yeah. They would kind of, you know, strengthen numbers and come in and see what to, you know, come out and have a drink. Like, yeah. Yeah. You couldn't be weird there. That was you. Even if you tried, you couldn't be.
00:11:05
Speaker
because that didn't exist. That's so incredibly true. And certainly the bar had competitors in the neighborhood. I had checked them out from time to time and it's like, oh, this is that sort of bar where I have to be careful what I say and how I present.
00:11:30
Speaker
because then maybe that's not even a specific choice that's been made, but that's the culture that's developed with whatever the history of this bar has been. So the level of just
00:11:47
Speaker
the emotional and the actual psychosomatic unclenching that happened. When you find a safe place like that, where it's like, okay, I don't have to be in protection mode as much. There's an element of the development of community that
00:12:13
Speaker
I think is certainly rare and uncommon. I would say it's probably unpopular in the current mediascape and in the current culture because it's not popular to make safe spaces. And I suspect it's probably because we've been
00:12:35
Speaker
Formulated a certain way we've been we've been polarized so much. I suspect it's at least on the surface level unwanted So I just want to say that's me that's definitely I think neighborhood depend. I mean it really is depend on Geographically where you are. I think there are more battle lines than there were But you know, we had a pretty open environment, yeah You know we had
00:13:05
Speaker
dudes who came in after work, union guys who came in after work, we had that. But my measure was this, in the bar business, if single cis women feel comfortable coming into your bar and sitting down and having a drink by themselves, you're doing it right.
00:13:33
Speaker
because there are plenty of bars where women are just not comfortable unless they're with friends or a man. And we had a few cis women who would come in for happy hour after work or come in after dinner and hang in, and they felt comfortable doing so. They knew that
00:14:01
Speaker
it was okay. It was more than okay to do that and they would be safe and it just it wasn't a place where they had to worry about their safety. We had a professor who would come in and
00:14:12
Speaker
Narrator papers while she had a drink. Yeah. Yeah. Like that kind of thing was my measure that, you know, this is the atmosphere we want. So, you know, there were there were dudes that weren't happy with it. But, you know, oh, gee, I upset another cis white man.
Establishing Respectful Spaces
00:14:33
Speaker
I'll survive. It must be a day that ends and why. Yeah. Well, it's just.
00:14:39
Speaker
Ties was the neighborhood bar that was kind of around the corner. It was very much more traditional, you know, men and shots and beers kind of place. And the joke was that I would have t-shirts made that said Ties Pub on them and Troy sent me, you know, and just hand them a t-shirt. Like, you belong there where I go.
00:15:09
Speaker
There was even like one time where this person refused to stop using the n-word. Yeah, that was fun. So I very much went over to my tip jar, grabbed some bills, slammed it in front of them and said, go to ties. Your first one's on me. Get out. You know? Yeah.
00:15:36
Speaker
We had two words you weren't allowed to say on the board. And for the life of me, it shouldn't really have created a kerfuffle, but more than once it did. And one of them was the N-word and the other one was a faggot. And this one old dude who was there all the time, I just, I happened to be
00:16:02
Speaker
I was either behind the bar or next to him. And, you know, around about the third time I heard him say it, I'm like, that is a word we don't use here. Please don't. And he looked at me and he goes, I always use that word. I don't mean it that way. And I'm like, honey, there's only one way to mean it and stop using it. And he said, why?
00:16:26
Speaker
And I said, well, because that's often the last word my people hear when your people put our teeth to the curb. Is that a good enough reason for you? And it was. And he went. Yeah, I get it. Right. And that was that. You know, this person was not an outdoorsman enough to where like he'd be regularly talking about large, like untied bundles of sticks.
00:16:55
Speaker
Yeah, no, he was not. No, he was nice try. And as a matter of fact, you know, probably to the person, we didn't have to throw people out often. I mean, you know, less than five. But to the person, that was the last word we always heard on the way out. Yep. Yeah. And they leaned into it like they've been, yeah, like they were saving it all this time. And then I would say, and at all, you never have to come back.
00:17:25
Speaker
It was very much your moment. Be well. Because I was like, yeah, that train is never late. And I'm like, oh, there it is. Now stay out. You know, as far as the N word goes, my whole thing was.
00:17:39
Speaker
I'm going to have one space on this planet where I can exist and not hear that word. Damn it. It's going to be this one. I don't care what you say outside these walls. I'm not telling you can't say it in a life. I'm just saying why you are in these walls. Knock it all.
00:17:57
Speaker
And, you know, and part of that was because of the nut. I mean, you know, that was you personally, but that was also it was a diverse bar. Right. And, you know, just because you as a white person or even
00:18:12
Speaker
a Latino person have decided you have some right to the word as long as you don't use the hard R, or even if you do. That doesn't mean it's okay. Your hood pass is not good here. Yeah, and they would argue. The one dude was that we don't validate, that he gave money to, was like, I'm a Latin king. You know, pointed to his tattoos, you know what that meant? Charles said, uh-huh. And you still can't use that word. Right. Yeah. And you don't scare me.
00:18:42
Speaker
I don't care how much time you spent in prison. Yeah, it's like that. So, like, you know, we had fun conversations like that. And otherwise, you know, and we made a point of saying, we can talk about literally anything in this space. Well, and we would. Two words, that's it. That's all. Somebody just asked me again recently.
00:19:07
Speaker
about even having conversations with Republicans. And I said, I always did, but I had a rule. And I said, we can talk about anything you want to talk about, as long as we stick to the facts. The moment you veer off into conspiracy theories, the moment you want to veer off into this feelings, which are not facts, that are unsubstantiated, we're not going to talk about that.
00:19:33
Speaker
You know, we're not going to talk about the feeling you have about Hillary's emails. I'm not interested. Right. You know, you lost. I'm not I'm not going to have that conversation. You know, I'm not going to have we're not going to go down like, you know, nothing she went on was a thing like it is now. But that kind of rabbit hole. Sure. Yeah. You know, mudslinging on either side. It's like, you know, let's let's debate the way folks used to.
00:20:02
Speaker
in my lifetime. We're not going to sit and mudsling and do that because that's ugly. So I would talk about anything. Now, if we were having the conversation closer to two and the door happened to lock and we needed to continue the conversation, now you're on my dime. So there were folks that wished they hadn't said some of what they said. And the
00:20:24
Speaker
I was just reflecting. I remember when bars used to be open until 2 a.m. Right? Are any of them? I don't know. I remember when things used to be open until 2 a.m. Yeah, I remember, you know, 24-hour diners, and I don't... Yeah, well, sir, still one anywhere. Oh, I just got a little tang of mourning for New Harmony.
00:20:49
Speaker
Oh my god. New Harmony was vegan in kosher Chinese restaurant in Chinatown and it was her
00:21:03
Speaker
Like, there was a wizard in the kitchen because, like, the chicken in their, like, General So's chicken was not the same as the chicken in the lemon chicken.
Exploring Plant-Based Lifestyles
00:21:15
Speaker
You know, everything, the flavors and the textures were all on point. And delicious. You could order whatever you wanted because you knew that it was vegan. So here's my question for this. If we think about,
00:21:32
Speaker
veganism, what is our social responsibility to help create the spaces where that sort of creativity can happen? There needs to be space for the level of opportunity to cultivate for veganism
00:21:55
Speaker
in order to become more accessible, I guess, certainly at least in a financial sense. You know, it's a supply and demand kind of a thing. One of the things, like we did a series of cooking videos early in the pandemic. Oh yes, Honkard vegans.
00:22:19
Speaker
What I tried to focus on was that it doesn't have to be expensive. In fact, it's cheaper to eat a plant-based diet if you're willing to do some cooking. You know, dried beans are still cheap, right? Even canned beans are still cheap. You know, rice and other grains, white rice,
00:22:47
Speaker
brown rice, barley, those things are inexpensive. And when you add frozen vegetables when they're on sale, which are picked at their peak, you really can have a healthy and balanced diet for not a lot of money.
00:23:07
Speaker
And especially as prices increase for meat products, for chicken, for eggs, for whatever, a bag of flaxseed didn't change much in price. And that gives me eggs for months and months and months in terms of an ingredient. Ground flax in the water is an egg for a recipe.
00:23:35
Speaker
But in terms of going out, like I said, the colonial diner made a point of one whole side of their menu as their vegan menu, and people come from Philly. They cross the bridge to go to Woodbury, New Jersey. We did. To eat there. Because they've got a solid vegan menu by a chef who cares. Because our first trip there was a road trip from Philly.
00:24:00
Speaker
Yeah. Um, I think the folks that do try it and it doesn't go well, it's because the quality of what they're doing is not good.
00:24:09
Speaker
You know, they throw a Gardein burger on the menu and, you know, whatever, call it a day. Call it a day. And then it's like, well, those don't sell and all the menu they go. It's like, well, OK. Yes. But if you cared about the food, it would be different. I mean, so, you know, we were going to have a plant based menu.
00:24:30
Speaker
and a plant-based kitchen in the bar. And for several reasons, because really strict vegans will say, well, they cook it on the same grill as the... Yes, they do. Don't go out. Don't leave your house.
00:24:50
Speaker
But when you don't store those products, when you don't even have them in your kitchen, there is no cross-contamination. And we had really worked on our menu and we had done tastings and we had gone to Flavors of the Northeast and won Best in Show with the Italian roast pork.
00:25:15
Speaker
We did Italian wristwork and we did our homemade cashew mozzarella. We did a little caprese salad on a piece of baguette and people were blown away that this was not meat and not dairy.
00:25:38
Speaker
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00:26:00
Speaker
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00:26:16
Speaker
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00:26:35
Speaker
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Starting Full Circle Podcast
00:26:59
Speaker
I want to pivot a little bit and I want to talk about y'all's podcast. I want to talk about Full Circle. I had the privilege of being on the show. I now have the privilege of having y'all here with us at Uncommon Good. Tell me why a podcast, why now, and why Full Circle?
00:27:26
Speaker
Well, I had been wanting to do a podcast for ever and, you know, wish anyone but me.
00:27:37
Speaker
Well, because initially I wanted to like, you know, sit and talk smack about this movie or that show or pop culture or whatever. Which we do. Which we do. Right. But initially the kind of stuff I want to talk about wasn't necessarily your bag. True. So that's all that was. And, you know, there was a lot of people that were talking about
00:28:07
Speaker
being interested in doing a podcast with me, but no one was actively doing anything about it except me. So I was like, I fine. And then one day you said, well, first, well, first I said, what am I chopped liver? And then, you know, we have and this, you know, this was true when we owned the bar.
00:28:37
Speaker
We have a lot of really interesting conversations just by virtue of being us. So I thought about the components of us.
00:28:54
Speaker
And I said, you know, no one else is this, you know, we could not find a similar, um, queer podcast. Uh, you know, maybe the closest is the read, which is one of the podcasts I, I listened to regularly. You know, I love them. I hitched it out.
00:29:17
Speaker
We kind of loosely looked at their format. We do things very differently.
00:29:27
Speaker
You know, we looked at the format, we looked at what has to happen. So, you know, I said, I want to talk about the news. You know, um, at that point I was already, you know, involved with Transway each week and I was really hearing, uh, what young trans people were feeling and thinking and how horrifying the news was.
00:29:52
Speaker
Um, so that had to be a component of it. Um, there's always good news also. And I thought it was important to try to approach it with balance, you know, um, in, in my writing, I tend to not, you know, I, I will journal through something that I, I.
00:30:16
Speaker
looking for either a solution or peace or somewhere to go with it. But I generally don't publish unless it comes somewhere, you know what I mean? And that's where the idea of full circle initially came from, in part, was the idea of taking a story and bringing it, trying to bring everything that we can bring full circle.
00:30:39
Speaker
Right. Yeah. So, so bring it back around, bring it back to, you know, the reality of things like, yes, this is happening in the Southern state and the ACLU is already challenging. Now, yes, Texas continues to be nonsensical, but we also have to remember that they tried all this legislation and failed in court. And so they, you know, then they tried this and then they tried this and then they tried this.
00:31:06
Speaker
It is horrific that we continue to lose young people who are so terrified in the midst of all this. But I try to bring some historical perspective as well.
00:31:24
Speaker
But we said who we are as a couple is unlikely. The fact that our lives are really pretty dull and normal doesn't necessarily occur to most folks.
00:31:43
Speaker
the fact that we can sit and talk about race and gender and orientation and have really in-depth conversations about those things and come to each other and say, I just heard this and I don't know what to do with it. What do you think? And that's just the basis of what happens because we're both news junkies and we don't watch the news, we read it.
00:32:12
Speaker
kind of from everywhere. And so I said, I think this has value. I think it does. We recorded four or five episodes before we let anyone hear it. Trying to work out the details, trying to work out our format and our flow. I'm glad we started publishing when we did.
00:32:38
Speaker
And not before. Yeah. And so, you know, we continue to turn it over in our minds, you know, who are we, who are we trying to reach? What is it we're trying to do? You know, some something really interesting happened where I belong to a women's podcast collective and, you know, it's by invitation. And so, you know, it really meant a lot to me that they did invite me in.
00:33:06
Speaker
And they are doing a six-week course called Amplify. And it's podcasting experts coming in twice a week and really drilling down
00:33:22
Speaker
You know, on the nuts and bolts of podcasting. Yeah, like the first week was production or branding. Brand next week was production. My question in branding, you know, because so the dude who was leading that particular segment said, you know, you really should have a very clear picture of who is your target audience.
00:33:45
Speaker
and, you know, what are they like and what do they know? And to the point of even perhaps giving them a name and then sort of gearing your podcast to Janet, your person. You know, she's a white soccer mom. She lives in the suburbs. She has two kids. She has very little time. This is when she listens to her podcast. Like they did all that.
00:34:07
Speaker
So Charles asked the question, he's like, well, we talk about the news from a queer perspective. We know that our audience tends to be really smart. Our audience tends to be engaged. But I'm having a hard time sort of putting my finger on
00:34:36
Speaker
who that is." And he went, well, you're a mouthpiece for the LGBTQ community. That is your niece. As if we are a monolith.
00:34:46
Speaker
And I said, that's not helpful information. But it tells me a lot about what folks think. Here we are back in the bar business where people probably pass the podcast and go, ah, that's that gay shit. And it doesn't go any deeper, as if we have no value to you. Where I want some crossover audience.
00:35:14
Speaker
You know, when we do a pod swap, it's usually with straight, it's usually with sis hat people and they'll listen and they'll say inevitably they'll come back and say, thank you. I really learned some stuff.
00:35:31
Speaker
You know, I love the things that you guys talk about and where you go with it. And I learned a lot and I'm going to keep listening. And I'm like, oh, thank you. I want that. Right. You know, because part of our target is, you know, I want the parents of trans kids to find us, not just the family research council, you know, when their question is, what do I do next? I want them to hear our voices.
00:36:00
Speaker
Yeah. And as we were mulling over titles, Shane, one of our children, Shane said to me, just arbitrarily at three in the morning, I got this message that said, you know, it just occurred to me that you and Charles are both so individually queer.
00:36:24
Speaker
you seem to have come all the way back around to a heterosexual relationship. And I find that fascinating. I was like, I guess that's right. Right.
00:36:40
Speaker
We've come full circle in that spectrum. And then the other aspect of the name was, you know, I've come full circle. I ran like hell to get out of New Jersey when I was 22 years old. I never thought I'd be back here. I certainly never thought I'd be back here in the house where I grew up, you know, living on the street where I grew up.
00:37:08
Speaker
within sight of the elementary school where I was tortured, I never thought that that would happen. And I certainly never thought it would be a good thing.
00:37:20
Speaker
And yet it is. It's been healing in so many ways. I think it's fed my creativity as well as yours in ways we didn't expect. And it's just at this point in our lives, having this level of peace and quiet, it just feels like this is what we need for this chapter.
00:37:47
Speaker
Um, and you know, the other thing was, you know, we had this big dream and we worked really hard and, you know, we had the bar for five years and it was five years of pushing a boulder up a hill. And it was five years of dealing with just.
00:38:06
Speaker
So many issues and sometimes the boulder was on fire, you know, and, and part of it was a function of location. Part of it was a, just, you know, a breakdown in communication with my business partner. Um, and part of it was, you know, we just never had the money to do what we wanted to do. So everything was a struggle. And it was like, what now? You know, where can we go? What can we do? What?
00:38:36
Speaker
How do we feed ourselves creatively? And so, you know, it was March 1st of last year. We're coming up on our one-year anniversary. Yeah, March 1st. I think we just released episode 61. Yeah. You know, and a lot of cool things have happened. We've had access to interviews that came to us from nowhere. We interviewed Bruce Filanche. Yeah. You know, it was one of our first interviews and it was like,
00:39:05
Speaker
this guy came out of the blue and said, would you like to talk to my friend? You know, I'm a publicist and he, you know, he enjoys doing interviews with queer podcasts.
Expanding Podcast Reach
00:39:16
Speaker
And I was like, we were like, uh, yeah. Right. Yeah. Yes, I know who this man is. And I was like, Bruce Vellange is a very specific name. So I don't. Yeah. I think this is real, baby. This is great. And, and, you know, if it was been like Cardi B, I would be like, shoot what?
00:39:34
Speaker
Yeah. So, you know, our audience is really dedicated. It's still, I would still say small, you know, but growing, you know, it's global and global. And, you know, we see ourselves in places where, you know, it makes my heart happy because queer folks are certainly not celebrated in a lot of parts of the world.
00:40:01
Speaker
Every time I see that we've got people in Texas and Florida listening, I'm like, good, good. Yeah, good. Because we, at the end of the day, you know, we do try to offer some hope. We do try to offer some, some, you know, uh, balance to what's out there. Uh, we're charting as an arts podcast as well, which okay.
00:40:29
Speaker
And Google thinks we're a comedy podcast. I guess I'm fine with that too. Yeah, I happened to Google us for whatever reason in the Google listings as comedy podcast. I mean, well, we are funny. Yeah.
00:40:45
Speaker
But it drills down to what is specifically interesting to us.
Queer Community and Intersectionality
00:40:54
Speaker
We comb a lot of news sources all week long to bring together the things that we feel like we can talk about with some authority or some
00:41:07
Speaker
Whatever. Wherewithal. Somewherewithal. And, you know, so there's a lot we don't put in. I'm sure. Yeah, yeah. Sometimes we decide in the moment, we're like, you know what? I don't feel like saying this person's name anymore. Yeah, with George Santos. It's like, okay, we beat that to death. One of the things I struggle with is, um...
00:41:29
Speaker
is criticizing other queer people. We try to be really careful about how we do that, but I won't refuse to do it because I want my community to be and do better.
00:41:44
Speaker
I want more cohesion. I want us to get back to understanding that there's a reason we need to stand together. Because we're an intersectional relationship, we talk a lot about how important that is, and that we're not talking about identity politics, we're talking about identity. And we're talking about humanity, and that's one of the things we will never debate.
00:42:14
Speaker
And we love working together. I mean, you know, one of the things we found out is we can stand each other 12 hours a day. You know, we did in the bar and we certainly lived through the pandemic. No one's dead. What did you say? I said, thank goodness. Thank goodness. Again, we're still together. Still together, still engaged. And there are about
00:42:40
Speaker
There are a couple things that I want to emphasize from that first and foremost Thank you again Nailshade, let's let's go back. Yeah Number one Nailshade number two future matrimonial bliss number three Thanks for fitting another mostly queer podcast into into your swaps in all of the All of the sis hat folks. I hope you're okay, and you're still listening
00:43:09
Speaker
You know, my thing is I want you listening. I am never going to cater to you. Right. You know, I'm not if I'm going to if I'm going to walk tender feelings along, they won't be yours. Trust your heart. Meaning this is that community at large. Yeah. Yeah, I'm not doing that. But I actually do want you to listen. And you'll you know,
00:43:36
Speaker
And you will hear me give you a fair shake. You will. You will hear me. I talk a lot about the fact that right here where I grew up, this was a Republican town.
Political Critique and LGBTQ Challenges
00:43:50
Speaker
Very Republican town, but they weren't crazy.
00:43:55
Speaker
Let's define the term crazy a little bit more. When we say crazy is what we mean, I wonder if what we mean is politically radicalized. Is that fair to say? Am I getting closer? That's one way to play out. Politically radicalized.
00:44:19
Speaker
What I mean, and I know that that's a problematic word that I probably need to replace, I do know that, but I mean the Marjorie Taylor Greens. How is this person still in Congress? How is a person who is a representative of the state of Georgia and the United States Congress given so much light and air to lie
00:44:48
Speaker
to lie about my community, to lie about me, that's what I'm talking about. The Tucker Carlson's, the Lauren Boebert's, the Matt Gaetz's, these are not honorable people. These are not people who are dedicated to truth. I don't believe they believe themselves. I give my little homespun analogy. When I was a kid,
00:45:18
Speaker
Republicans and Democrats looked up at the sky and said, that's pollution. We probably shouldn't be breathing it and we should do something about it. And Richard Nixon, of all people, signed both the Clean Air Act and the Clean Water Act.
00:45:37
Speaker
Now, we got to those places, so politics, as I understood it as a child, was, yeah, the Republicans worried about business. They worried about making money. They worried about people losing jobs, et cetera. Democrats worried about the environment.
00:45:56
Speaker
and also did worry about jobs, but, you know, worried more about humanity, whatever. However you want to put them in loose boxes. But you didn't have one party looking up at the sky and saying, that's not pollution.
00:46:13
Speaker
That's a new kind of cloud. And the lib snowflakes are lying to you. And then you have a whole contingent of people that believe that. That is what I mean by crazy. You cannot have any conversation with anyone when you can't agree on basic facts.
00:46:38
Speaker
Right. Every time I hear Republicans say the word woke, I get a deep itch. Right. As if it's something bad. When did we become so anti-intellectual? I mean, you know, I was raised in a world where parents, and I am a parent of two grown children, you wanted your children to be educated.
00:46:58
Speaker
you wanted them to have the best education possible because you wanted them to be good and productive citizens and add something of value to this world. So you wanted them to be well-rounded critical thinkers. That's what I thought everybody wanted. Regardless of your political affiliation, who wants stupid, but they're celebrating it. If you want to talk about the nuances of things, that's fine.
00:47:24
Speaker
But, you know, if you aren't trans, I want to know why you have a fucking opinion about me anyway. Keep it pushing. Go live your life. Go be happy. Because I will never be able to adequately explain what I know about myself. You either take that and respect it at face value or you don't. Yes. But that doesn't give you the right to an opinion about my health care. Unless you want me to have one about yours. That part.
00:47:55
Speaker
We, you know, the trans community right now is the political football. You know, I want young people younger than me to understand that in 2004, you could argue we lost a presidential election and Bush got a second term really on the back of gay marriage and that that boogeyman of gay marriage. But by 2015, it was codified into law. That's how the pendulum swings. And, you know, they'll leave us alone once it's no longer profitable.
00:48:25
Speaker
You just got to get to that point. It'll happen. It will happen at some point, but you know, whether there's a pink triangle somewhere along the line, I'm still not sure. Because you can't have a reasonable discussion with people who refuse to act as adults. You know, you have an entire political party that doesn't believe in government. They use it to their own ends. They use it for power and money and
00:48:54
Speaker
not to serve the public. And I believe in public service as in serving the public. So that's what I mean by crazy. I get it. There is, there's something that I want to draw us to. Um, you have just created the inaugural entry in the uncommon good book of quotes, and that is regardless of politics, who wants to believe stupid?
Education and Critical Thinking
00:49:24
Speaker
well that's it that's a very good one that that one I'm gonna write down there may be others that are that are grandfathered in but but Martha magical heads the the inaugural live
00:49:42
Speaker
The inaugural live entry. I like that one a lot. And I think that's probably the title of your 92Y talk, regardless of politics who wants to believe stupid. Hey. Yeah, it's the thing I cannot understand. I cannot understand it. And I know a lot of these Republicans are very smart people.
00:50:12
Speaker
A lot of the ones in power are well educated. Yes. You know, this whole thing about CRT came out of a quote unquote think tank. And that dude is breaking his arm, patting himself on the back because he thinks he really did something brilliant. You know, he's got all these people frothing and worked up over CRT.
00:50:39
Speaker
And there's your backlash to Black Lives Matter. There's your backlash to how frightened they were in 2020 as people took to the streets day after day after day. Yeah, now we're protesting CRT and we're trying to take history out of schools. Because apparently, if you don't teach it, no one will learn it. And if they don't learn it, it no longer exists.
00:51:09
Speaker
or something. Well, or like I always like to say, we don't want to teach about racism in America because, you know, a kid might see their grandma in the history book yelling at a little black girl going to school. Yeah, exactly. Because just because those pictures are in black and white doesn't mean that it's ancient history. These people are still alive. Yeah, a lot of those people are still alive.
00:51:35
Speaker
So I want to narrow our focus a little
Living with Integrity
00:51:39
Speaker
bit. What is our responsibility as queer folks, as Charles, as folks of color, Martha, as non-susgender folks? What is our role in the de-radicalization and the de-polarization of our neighborhood?
00:52:03
Speaker
Our first responsibility is the example we set. I believe that our first responsibility is the life that we lead and the way that we personally move in this world with integrity, with authenticity, and hopefully with kindness and respect. It's not enough to say, I'm going to match energy.
00:52:33
Speaker
That's a thing I don't like to hear because that means if you were having a really bad day and you come at me and kind of take it out on me and snap at me, I get to snap back at you. I'm just matching your energy.
00:52:49
Speaker
where if I am far more mindful of what's coming out of me, that's how you change people's days. That's how you change a conversation. That's how you de-escalate a situation. And I do think we need to live unapologetically.
00:53:08
Speaker
I think it's an ethos that if you believe in what you're saying and you believe in what you're doing and you're trying to live toward truth and you're trying with everything within you to live toward peace,
00:53:27
Speaker
doesn't mean you won't be met with violence, you might be. It doesn't mean unto death. Who knows, because the world is as it is. I have seen
00:53:43
Speaker
so many folks who are kind of cowering right now. And I understand why I really do. Um, but I'm not going back into a closet for anyone that part. I can't do that. That betrays my soul. You know, I didn't come this far to only come this far. Yeah, we can, we can do this all day, but I can't do that for you.
00:54:11
Speaker
I'll answer your questions. I'll answer your respectful questions all day long. You know, we live to educate, you know, we've both, you know, our teachers in one way or another and have taught and care about that very much.
00:54:28
Speaker
As scary a time as it is to be alive, it's also one of the best times in history to be alive because you have such access to technology, because the ways to understand one another, they've never been easier.
00:54:46
Speaker
And that, I guess that's the other thing that really gets under my skin. You have to intend stupidity. You have to intentionally be dumb. It takes more work to be stupid. Right. Google is your friend too. It lives in your pocket. And real information is out there right next to the bright boards and the Newsmaxes and the, you know, the Family Research Council. It's there. It's findable. It's knowable. Unless you intend not to.
00:55:13
Speaker
The question I think that I'm more terrified about, and I wonder if this is where we're leaning into when we get to all of these people who are as well educated as you've identified, is what do we do with the people who have sat with all of that knowledge and who have sat with all of that and intentionally choose the opposite? I still don't know. Yeah.
00:55:41
Speaker
I will never understand, you know, politically people who vote against their own best interest. Yeah, I want a different world. I do. But, you know, the world abhors a vacuum and I really worry about, you know, this notion of let's just tear it down. You know, that to me is a level of cynicism I can't afford.
00:56:06
Speaker
I can't afford that. That is a luxurious place to be, to say, let's just tear it all down and fuck it because it's not working. Well, okay, but what's your plan? Right. And then what? What's your plan? And then what? Right. And then what? You know, three words. Every activist I know has heard out of my mouth more than once. And then what? Where are we going? Tell me where we're going. Right.
00:56:34
Speaker
Otherwise, you're just mad. I brought up an Ann Richards quote. In fact, we titled our last episode with it. But I brought it up in the last episode. And the quote was, if you're not at the table, you're on the menu.
00:56:56
Speaker
And that's always been my perspective, you know? Good, right? It's a great quote. And I think maybe the original quote was, if you are not at the table, you are probably on the menu, something like that, but whatever. Same idea. And I said that about the New York Times, like, you know,
00:57:17
Speaker
apparently Jennifer Finney Boylan, like the one trans writer or several of them are no longer writing there. And it's like, if we're not at the table, if we're not in that conversation, it's not a good, you know, how can it be? And I lived through a time when you couldn't talk about who you were in school, at home, at church, in the playground.
00:57:44
Speaker
It wasn't possible. It was a world where we, you know, and that's what some folks would have us go back to. And that is my problem in politics and, you know, with this in civil discourse is they're bullies.
00:58:05
Speaker
They are no different and no better than the kid bullies I grew up with. They don't have an argument. They don't have something good to offer. They don't have something better to put on the table, so they'll hit you.
00:58:22
Speaker
to make you stop talking.
Queer Existence as Resistance
00:58:25
Speaker
And that's what they're trying to do to our community is hit us, scare us back into the closet, scare us, take away the medicine. So if we die, if we die, we die. Because to them, we're not even human. When they look at our suicide statistics, they say it's some inherent flaw with us.
00:58:46
Speaker
It's like, nope, that's not how this is working. That's not how this works. And we have data about that. We understand that. We understand that kids that are affirmed and have adults in their lives who listen to them have a much, much higher end chain of to survive and live to an old age. The act of survival is an act of resistance.
00:59:10
Speaker
that part. It absolutely is. You know, our existence is an act of resistance. Just the fact that we're here, just the fact that we fly the flags we fly every day.
00:59:25
Speaker
That was my waking thought the morning after Orange Voldemort was elected. I said, my very existence is an act of resistance, so be it. And then I got up and got out of bed. Charles, I just want to acknowledge that you also have made the uncommon book of quotes, our very existence is an act of resistance.
00:59:50
Speaker
So thank you both for being the inaugural real-time contributors. Sure. To quote the immortal barred red man, I'll be that.
01:00:08
Speaker
We have just one question left as we're wrapping up today, the same question that we ask everybody as we're closing up.
Hopes for a Compassionate Future
01:00:16
Speaker
You might've even answered at least a little bit already, and that is, what do you want the world to look like when you're done with it? More compassion, less fear of what is not you.
01:00:39
Speaker
smarter, happier, kinder. It's already going to be broader. We're like, that's going to happen. Oh, period. That's happening. Right. And that scares the hell out of a lot of people. Right. You know.
01:00:58
Speaker
Like, you know, just people getting over themselves and realizing that, you know, you're actually not as special as you've been led to believe you are. So it's okay if something that doesn't look like you shares space with you because there's room for everyone.
01:01:16
Speaker
I certainly echo that. I'd like to see us learn from history. I really, really would. You gotta learn it first. I wish more people understood how quickly this all ends. I want this world and this country to live up to its own promise.
01:01:38
Speaker
that part. When people say they're worried about kids, I want to see them actually worry about kids. I want us to be who we pretend to be. I'd love to see that. And I think if I move the needle at all toward clarity, if I move it at all toward compassion, if I move it at all,
01:02:06
Speaker
towards humanity. I will have a love of 12. Indeed. I like that list. And Martha. Martha and Charles of Full Circle the Podcast.
Podcast Closing
01:02:20
Speaker
Thank you so much for your time. Thank you.
01:02:24
Speaker
Thank you to my guests, Martha and Charles of Full Circle the Podcast. And yep, you can find out everything about Full Circle the Podcast and subscribe to their weekly broadcast here at their link tree in the episode description, Full Circle the Pod.
01:02:42
Speaker
Thank you so much for tuning in to Uncommon Good with Pauly Reese. This program is produced in southwest Philadelphia in the unceded neighborhood of the Black Bottom community and on the ancestral land of the Lenape Nation who remain here in the era of the Fourth Crow and fight for official recognition by the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania to this day.
01:03:00
Speaker
You can find out more about the Lenape Nation of Pennsylvania and how you can support the revitalization of their culture by going to Lenape-Nation.org. Our associate producers are Willa Jaffe and Kia Watkins. Thank you for their support. If you enjoyed listening to the show, please support us by leaving us a five-star review and a comment and subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts. It really helps people find us.
01:03:24
Speaker
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