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Apparently, Magic is Real 🤯
49 Plays6 months ago
Years ago, I turned on the radio in the middle of the night—and heard the craziest thing. It was ... my voice. Say whaaaaaat?!?
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Transcript
Skepticism About Magic and Spirituality
00:00:00
Speaker
But sometimes the timing of things, the way things line up, it's like, whoa, how did that happen? I have sort of skepticism against like people who talk about magic and spirituality and things like that. And not that I'm against it, but I guess I'm just wary of like. magical thinking or like spiritual bypass, that kind of stuff. Especially living in the Bay Area, I think like it can be like overly prevalent for me, for my taste. So I use the word magic sort of carefully, but nevertheless, like to me, sometimes there are things, there are experiences that do feel kind of magical.
Introduction to 'Life's F&Nuts'
00:00:39
Speaker
Welcome, friends, to life's effin' nuts. I am JR, one man's stories and ruminations on being human in an upside down world.
Artistic Inspirations and Aspirations
00:01:08
Speaker
For most of my young life, all I really wanted to do was create art, to transform ordinary moments into beautiful moments, into meaningful moments through through various artistic mediums. For those who've listened to this podcast before, you know that I was heavily influenced by the music and writing of Bob Dylan, heavily influenced by the writing of Jack Kerouac. heavily influenced by the the music and writing of Woody Guthrie. Heavily influenced by Ken Kesey and the Mary Pranksters. like the Like heavily, heavily, heavily influenced. Not a lot of things made sense to me when I was younger. Things my parents were teaching me didn't make a whole lot of sense. Things that I was learning at school didn't make a whole lot of sense. It just didn't register on an authentic level for me. I tried to like do well in school. I tried to listen closely to what my parents were saying and
00:02:02
Speaker
be a good kid and and sort of follow their guidance. But I couldn't i couldn't fake it or force it. It just didn't reach me on a very deep level. But then when I heard the music of Bob Dylan, it reached me on the deepest level possible.
00:02:27
Speaker
It took its hand and went way down into the soil of my being. and just shook it, shook the very core of my being and made me feel something and opened my mind to new ways of thinking. All I wanted was to be able to be part of that tradition, to create art that could do for others what this art was doing for me. That's all I cared about, all I wanted. And you know, I had little odd jobs.
00:02:59
Speaker
you know, to pay the bills, but i didn't I never thought about career or five-year plan or stability.
Career Pressures at 25
00:03:06
Speaker
I wanted to live in the moment.
00:03:11
Speaker
But around 2009, at that point, what, I'm 25 years old and I had this other voice in me like, okay, like that was kind of cute being obsessed with Bob Dylan, but you're 25 years old. It's about time that you like got a real job and got your shit together. And so I became kind of earnest about that. I was like, I don't want to do that, but but it feels right. I want to like be an upstanding citizen and get a real job. At that time I had no computer at my house or no internet. I was very anachronistic. And so every day I would walk to the the South Branch Berkeley library and for two hours, I would use their little computer there for two hours.
00:03:56
Speaker
I would polish my resume, write cover letters, apply for jobs, and I hated it. I loathed it. It was the fucking worst, man. I hated it. It was so bad. Even though I hated it, I was kind of determined. So every day I would show up and do those two
Transition from Sports Talk Radio to Writing
00:04:10
Speaker
hours. And during this time, I listened to a lot of sports talk radio throughout my life. Very soothing for me. I grew up listening to sports talk radio. I played hockey growing up and my dad and I. would drive all over Los Angeles every Saturday, every Sunday for my whole childhood. We didn't talk a lot, but we listened to a lot of sports talk radio. And so it it was it was a comforting thing for me from a young age. And then as an adult, it continued to be a very comforting thing for me. And also I would read the sports page. I love newspapers and I would go to cafes and just read the sports page for like hours. But during this time of of
00:04:48
Speaker
trying to make an earnest push to sort of transform and mature a little bit. I was like, you know what? I'm going to cut out that crutch. I'm going to find new, more mature ways to soothe myself other than sports talk radio and reading the sports page.
00:05:11
Speaker
And at the end of these two hours of looking for a job, I had so much like tension and energy inside of myself that I didn't know what to do it, but I gave myself, subconsciously, I gave myself permission for like 15 minutes, even though I wasn't listening to sports talk radio or reading the sports page, I gave myself permission. I didn't even know what I was doing or why I was doing it, but to write emails about sports to local sports radio hosts. And like I said, I didn't even realize what I was doing. It was very it was all on a subconscious level. I didn't think like, hmm, I think this would be a good idea as ah as a release and sort of a a treat for myself after grinding through these two hours. I'm gonna write emails to Sports Talk radio hosts, because that will be a nice sort of counterbalance. No, i it was all on a subconscious level.
Connection with Damon Bruce
00:06:05
Speaker
There was this one sports talk radio host named Damon Bruce who had a nighttime show on KMBR 680 in San Francisco, a big 50,000 watt radio station. And at the time he had sort of a principle that he lived by. If you send me an email, I'll send you an email back. And so he started writing back and responding. to my emails and say like, hey, thanks for writing. Appreciate these emails. Very thoughtful, very creative, whatever. And that felt kind of cool to me. I felt like I pierced some kind of veil, even though he wrote back to everyone and still, ah for me, I guess it's a little different now. The media scene is different. Like everyone is kind of a media star with their own live streaming and social media channels and things like that. But back in the day, like to make contact,
00:06:51
Speaker
with a media personality felt like kind of a big deal even though like I said he wrote back to everyone it still felt cool to me and so one particular day as I was at the South Branch Berkeley Public Library grinding through this brutal gauntlet of resumes and cover letters and applying for jobs this mind-numbing soul-killing kind of thing I was so frustrated and I had so much pent up energy that I ended up writing this epic long email to this sports talk radio host Damon Bruce. I'm talking epic and long probably like thousand word email about like the soul and the spirit of baseball and the American tradition. And I went all the way in. I just let loose.
00:07:38
Speaker
I was almost like ah a monk in some kinds of ways. I lived in this tiny studio apartment, a very sort of sparsely decorated tiny studio apartment. I had like a futon on the floor, a little red rocking chair in the corner, hardwood floors, a little desk in the corner. And now that was pretty much it. And I would wake up really early. I'd wake up, I think I woke up at five o'clock every morning. Every morning yeah I'd pop right out of bed and write for two hours, five to seven o'clock, and I would keep my hand moving the entire time, and I would do it seven days a week. Because of this routine, I also went to bed fairly early, and and at the time, i i didn't I wasn't that social. Social life was not that interesting to me. I was much more interested in sort of art and personal development, I guess you would say.
00:08:33
Speaker
I also had a record player in this little studio apartment. I had one of these retro throwback record players. I think I bought it at Target, but it was sort of the old fashioned style record player, Mahogany Wood. And it had a big circular dial on the front with like Roman numerals where you could turn the dial and it was a lit up. It looked really cool. It lit up and you turn the dial and listen to the radio. And it also had like a CD player in the side. And then you lifted up this top cabinet little area and it played vinyl records. And so that was like my entertainment console. I i did not have a TV. I did not have and internet at my house. Primarily connected through this vinyl record console.
Surreal Moment: Email Read On-Air
00:09:21
Speaker
And so there was this one particular Friday night, and I remember it was about 9 45 on this Friday night, and I had done my nighttime routines, turned off the lights, got into bed, and was ready to go to sleep, like closing my eyes. And I just had this, this sort of thought pass through my head. Even though I wasn't really listening to sports talk radio at the time, I knew that this host Damon Bruce, every Friday night he just he did a segment, his last segment of the week, where he called it a wampan email segment, where he would just take all these emails that he'd received and read the best ones. And I don't know where this thought came from, but I was like, I want to listen to the wampan email segment.
00:10:16
Speaker
And so I hopped out of bed and flipped on my little radio on on this vinyl record console and literally the second I turned on the radio, literally the exact same second, the first thing I hear right when I turned it on, Damon Bruce, he's like, and now I want to read the best email I've ever received
00:10:45
Speaker
by a young man named Jonathan Ryan First. You'll see in a minute, but like this guy is going somewhere. I've never read an email like this in my entire life. You guys are gonna enjoy this and remember this guy's name. He is an ascended talent, I promise you is what he said.
00:11:08
Speaker
and then he starts reading this epic email that i'd written this thousand word email and he read the entirety of it the whole thing And I'm standing there like, I didn't know if I was dreaming. It was such a strange psychological phenomenon to be in bed, eyes closed, ready to sleep. And then this i this this thought hits me like, ooh, I want to hear the big wampus email section. And no way did I think like, I want to hear this because he might read my email. I didn't think at all. And then I turned the radio on and the very second I turned it on,
00:11:39
Speaker
I'm about to read this epic poem by Jonathan Ryan first. And so I'm standing there in my dark little tiny ascetic hermit, hermitage studio hearing my words. And I'm like shaking almost like I'm like, it it felt surreal, man. It felt like I was on another planet.
Weekly Radio Spot Achievement
00:12:03
Speaker
It was probably one of the coolest moments of my life up to that point. And it turned out that I was so excited by hearing my words on the radio that I just kept writing. Damon Bruce kept writing. And without even knowing what I was doing or what I was even asking for, I started to sort of see, hey, can I come into the studio? I'd like to come into the studio. And I didn't know why I wanted to come into the studio. I didn't know what the purpose would be. But I just kept asking him and finally he's like, yeah, you you like, if you want, you can come into the studio. So I came into the studio probably a few weeks after that, maybe a month after that, not knowing why I was there even. But I did. I guess some part of me subconsciously knew that maybe there'd be an opportunity to read some of my work on the radio because I had writing with me. And so towards the end of the show, there was a commercial break before the last segment. And I said, hey, I have some writing. Can I read it?
00:12:54
Speaker
And he let me read On The Air during the last segment. And people loved it. He got flooded with emails about how much they liked the writing. And it turned out that I ended up getting a weekly gig on his show for three years. Major San Francisco radio station, 50,000 watts.
Reflecting on Life's Magic
00:13:21
Speaker
Sometimes in life there are these things that are just hard to explain. Maybe it's just totally random that I had that random thought as my eyes were closing that I want to hear the big whomp an email section and that literally the second that I turn it on Like it didn't skip a beat right at that second. He's reading my work. So maybe it's just completely random It's just probabilities maybe but That's kind of hard to believe. It feels like there's something, there's some interesting, weird, strange, quote unquote magical phenomenon that that sometimes happens in our lives. And yeah, i don't I don't quite know how to explain them. I guess the best thing I can do is just kind of
00:14:05
Speaker
chuckle at them a little bit or marvel at them a little bit or just appreciate them a little bit and be like, yeah, life's life's kind of weird like that. Like sometimes there's just this stuff that you can't explain that just feels awe-inspiring or magical. And it's part of what makes life kind of cool in spite of war and poverty and injustice and suffering and death and loss and fucking work, which is just the worst. In spite of all that, you know, like these little little tiny strange synchronicities are hard to explain. All inspiring experiences happen. So I'd be curious if if you sort of thought, scanned through your life and just thought through, yeah, what would have been those little strange, hard to explain magical moments for me? And for me, sometimes like if I'm in the the grind of life, if I'm stressed out of my mind, if I'm
00:15:03
Speaker
bogged down by obligations, commitments, and responsibilities. Even just thinking about these little these little moments sort of create a little bit of an expanse in myself, a little bit of a clearing. So yeah, hopefully hopefully this little silly story from 2009 can sort of evoke a little clearing in you for today.
Episode Conclusion and Social Media Info
00:15:41
Speaker
Thanks for tuning in to Life's F&Nuts. I hope you enjoyed that story. New episodes drop every Tuesday on Apple Podcasts and Spotify, and you can follow us on social media at Life's F and&Nuts Podcasts. I'm JR, see you guys soon.