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080 - How to Handle Hate w/ Roman Mori
63 Plays1 day ago
What if the key to handling criticism isn't thicker skin—but a clearer sense of who you are?
In this episode, I sit down with Army Ranger veteran and combat sports coach Roman Mori for a raw conversation about dealing with hate—both the kind that comes from keyboard warriors and the kind that whispers in your own head right before you step into the arena.
Roman doesn't sugarcoat it. He's been there: jumping out of helicopters, competing on the world stage, and building a social media presence that attracts both massive respect and relentless criticism. But here's what separates him from most—he's figured out how to filter what matters from what doesn't.
In this episode, you'll hear:
- Why Roman calls them "little bitch thoughts"—and how he handles the mental game mid-competition when doubt creeps in
- How failure at every major turning point in his life became the launchpad for his greatest achievements
- Why you should never take advice from someone you wouldn't ask for it in the first place
- His philosophy on authenticity in a world obsessed with curated perfection
This one hits different if you:
- Coach athletes who struggle with social comparison or negative self-talk
- Lead young people navigating the toxic side of social media
- Want to build genuine confidence (not fake bravado) in yourself or your team
- Need permission to stop listening to people who've never done what you're trying to do
Roman's message is simple but powerful: Failure is only the endpoint if you decide it is. Everything else is just a stopping point.
So whether you're dealing with critics in the comments, doubters in your circle, or that voice in your own head—this episode will give you the tools to keep moving forward.
*NEW* Education - Captains & Coaches course, "Why They're Not Listening - Coaching Today's Athlete": http://listen.captainsandcoaches.com
Training - Old Bull Program - 7 Day Free Trial - https://bit.ly/old-bull-train
#MentalToughness #CombatSports #LeadershipDevelopment #JiuJitsuLifestyle #AthleteMindset #OvercomingFailure #CoachingAthletes #VeteranStories #StrengthAndConditioning #SocialMediaReality #CompetitionMindset #ResilienceTraining #ArmyRanger #NogiJiuJitsu #AuthenticLeadership #RomanMori
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Transcript
The Underestimated Role of Strength in Jiu Jitsu
00:00:00
Speaker
how ridiculously low Jiu Jitsu is on the totem pole of like athleticism that like you can kind of just walk in there as a big and strong guy with a little bit of coordination and do very well off the beginning because people just don't take it seriously in Jiu Jitsu like your strength and conditioning. It's something that's not valued in Jiu Jitsu. Strength is looked down upon.
00:00:19
Speaker
Welcome to the Captains &
Podcast Introduction with Guest Roman Morey
00:00:21
Speaker
Coaches podcast. We explore the art and science of leadership through the lens of athletics and beyond. I'm your host, Texel Culkin, and today I sit down with Roman Morey, Army Ranger veteran, second place finisher at Adult Brown Belt No-Gi Worlds, and one of the most authentic voices in strength and conditioning
Roman Morey's Journey and Mindset Shifts
00:00:37
Speaker
today. No bs just a dude who's been in the arena has the scars to prove it.
00:00:42
Speaker
We talk about the gap between the curated perfection you see online and the messy reality of actually doing hard things. We dive into what it takes to train at the highest level, from the 3rd Ranger Battalion to competing on the world stage in Jiu Jitsu. And we get real about dealing with failure, silencing haters, and that voice inside your head that whispers, maybe you're not good enough.
00:01:05
Speaker
Here's what I love about this episode the most is Roman doesn't just talk about toughness. He talks about the mindset shifts that turn failure into fuel. Whether you're a coach trying to help your athletes handle adversity, a captain learning to lead under pressure, or just someone trying to show up authentically in a world that rewards fake, this one's for you.
00:01:26
Speaker
Now, let's tag in Roman to help us raise the game. Ready, ready, and drink. Roman, welcome to Dripping Springs. Thanks for coming out. Thank you for having me. Yeah, and hit up Los Campolones. I love that spot. Yep, yep.
00:01:39
Speaker
Hit ah leg day, so did some back squats, power cleans. Hopefully my brain's not too fried. How, was it crowded? No, it was actually not that bad the today. Some guy came in a lifeguard uniform for Halloween though, but beyond that it was pretty sparse. That's funny.
00:01:52
Speaker
Yeah. You didn't dress
Social Media's Impact on Self-Perception
00:01:53
Speaker
up? I did not dress up. I could have gone, you know, as Mr. Incredible or something, but today I decided not to. That's Halloween costume. That's every other day. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's my Halloween costume for tonight. Sweet. and I go collect candy.
00:02:03
Speaker
You take kids? No, no, no. you Beat them up and grab the bags? No, no. that's only I only did that in middle school. Steal candy from kids. Okay. These days, just steal it from kettlebellers. Kettlebellers, which I think is a great spot to lead off. So shout out to Nate Yamitz from Train Heroic for introducing us. We got a lot of mutual friends, Tim Riley. So shout out, Tim. And we're having fun here.
00:02:28
Speaker
What I want to highlight is your ability to just be authentic, be yourself on the internet, which often on the internet, people represent an ideal self, yeah right? They're just putting out this picture-perfect world that they believe is ah what they think people will want, and it's weird. yeah But you're just you're just being you, i'm just and I appreciate it. I mean, it's me cranked up to like sixth gear. you know it's It's still me, but it's definitely like revved on the gas me. yeah But it's not the newscaster like, today we're going to disagree. I can't do that. That's not me. No. It's inauthentic. I feel like people can read that too.
00:03:05
Speaker
they They can, but there's a lot. I think the general mass see that and then they feel sorry for themselves or just something, that gap between their lives and what this person is painting, which is not real. you're Right. Yeah. That's the issue with social media is it's curated. You decide what to put out. You know you don't see people's failures. You don't see people like...
00:03:27
Speaker
mess up and then somebody goes on social media and they see somebody who almost like appears to have the perfect life and they're like man i hate my life this sucks dude what is it like this guy's the but and it's like i get to do jiu-jitsu and lift weights and coach people that's awesome but even seven eight months ago i was out with a brace on my knee like dude i i'm at a dead end in life so
Training Philosophies and Injury Myths
00:03:53
Speaker
The social media can trick you into thinking things are way better than they actually are. And I think that's why people also kind of despise social media and why the inauthenticity, the inauthenticity ah it drives so many people insane.
00:04:07
Speaker
and It's like it all compounds. Yeah. That's a lot of the time I spend is trying to teach tools. for people to protect themselves from not only social media, but also the BS where they are attacked verbally, mentally, in different scenarios and environments. yes Which I think is why I wanted to talk to you, yeah because you have a lot of defenses against people that are coming after you for I mean, really stupid reasons. Yeah. Yeah. It's funny that like there's so much hostility about like training.
00:04:40
Speaker
Yeah. Like we're just like doing exercise. There's so much cult um like propaganda about like this bad, this bad, this bad, this good, this good. And it's very interesting because to the outside observer who does no exercise, they're like, aren't you guys all on the same team?
00:04:59
Speaker
Like, aren't you guys aren't you guys just doing exercise? But within the cult, or not even within the cult, within the training space, there's these tribes and cults. And one thing that I've found is I've never really fallen in line with any of the cults.
Roman's Military Training and Fitness Approach
00:05:15
Speaker
Not that I'm like so superior, but it's just like they just haven't really resonated with me. Like I'm not part of the like functional fitness cult. I'm not part of the like, you know, just use a barbell cult. Like you don't need to use machines. I'm not in the bodybuilding cult. I'm not like I just what I try to do is I take the best stuff. It's kind of weird. Like um my name is Roman, but that's like what the Roman Empire would do. They just stole all the best from everybody. They weren't exactly like the best inventors. They would just like conquer a place and be like,
00:05:45
Speaker
That's good. We're going to steal that from you. And like, that's what I try to do with my training is, all right, I i think back squats are great. I think deadlifts are great. But like, do you really need to jackhammer your spine every single session? Maybe we could throw some machines in.
00:06:00
Speaker
And then it's like, I look at the other side of things like, you know, plyometrics are great. Jumping's great. But should that be our entire identity and entire, like make up the entirety of our session? Probably not. So I just steal Yeah. Yeah.
00:06:14
Speaker
I love it. Yeah. And the, yeah, i used to say that there are no bad movements, like no bad guys, but there's bad movement. Yes. So whatever we do within training, you can do it improperly and then get hurt. Yes. So I find it funny where people try to attack a specific movement or training system or, I mean, even piece of equipment. Yes.
00:06:35
Speaker
Yeah. Everybody can get hurt doing it. and what's interesting too is like, the The only way to really inoculate yourself from injury, like this is kind of why i hate the bulletproofing principle. I like the idea, right? Like make yourself resilient to injury, but you can't bulletproof yourself. Like that's not going happen. Injuries are accidents. They just, they happen. Like you're you playing football and somebody crashes into the side of your knee. Like I'm out of back squatting or or kettlebells or even functional patterns is not going to solve that. Like a 275 pound man just crashed into your LCL. It only takes so much stress.
00:07:05
Speaker
But the only way to, and this is where I just despise this on social media, the only way to really inoculate yourself from injury is don't do anything. Yeah. Just train. Like just do like some like flow movements in your backyard.
00:07:18
Speaker
Don't play basketball. Don't play football. Don't do jujitsu. Don't box. Don't, you know don't do anything outside of this thing that you pretend inoculates you from injury. Yeah. And though that's how you really insulate yourself from injury is just don't do anything. Yeah. Yeah, I concur. But we're also not competing. We're not testing all the hard work that we put in. And then my argument would be, i don't think you learn anything about your character because you're not risking putting yourself out there. Exactly. You have to risk it. Yeah. And it it feels backwards to be like, wait, you want me to get hurt? But it's more like...
00:07:55
Speaker
what is the point of having a you know strong, capable body if not to use it? you know like I would way rather be beat up and have, which I do from the military, like beat up and like have injuries from you know that I carry with my my life and not be you know like,
00:08:13
Speaker
52 and be a movement guru and be like a woulda, coulda, shoulda. Like, oh man, I could have, I could
Discovering Jiu Jitsu During Military Service
00:08:19
Speaker
have done. It's like, you didn't though. So you can't say that. It means nothing. Yeah. There's the same vein of the guys that say, you know, if only coach put me in. Yeah, exactly. You would have won the championship. They should have passed me the ball. It's like, they didn't because you weren't good enough. Uncle Rico. Yeah. ah Well, I mean, you brought it up. Let's go even farther back to being an Armory Ranger. But what even led you to that? What was your high school athletic background?
00:08:44
Speaker
Oh, boy. all right. This is a long one. So I was a really good, i wouldn't say really good. I was a good athlete growing up. He put a ball in my hands. I was good at that sport. I remember like in PE, whatever it was, you know, like it could be dodgeball or kickball or whatever it was like I was good at. I grew up being a good athlete, you know, like played competitive basketball, contact football, ran track and field. And I got to high school and I fell behind because I just literally didn't grow. Like I just did not hit puberty till like 17 and a half.
00:09:17
Speaker
So I went from five, two, five, three, somewhere in there to like six foot tall, like over a summer. And by that time it was kind of too late, kind of missed the boat.
00:09:28
Speaker
And so for me, I kind of always had this like resentment, this feeling of like, like I didn't make it. I didn't do what I want to do I want to go play college sports. And so I went to college for like a semester and dropped out and was just like, I need to do something with like basically hit rock bottom. I was like, I need to do something difficult with my life. Like just go all in. And so I joined the army. didn't even tell my parents.
00:09:48
Speaker
Joined the Army. My brother was at West Point at the time, so I called him up. was like, what should I do in the Army? And he's like, get an 18x-ray contract, which is for Special Forces, okay which is separate from being a Ranger. And I was like, okay that's what I'm going to do because I was at MEPS. And they were like, you're 19.
00:10:02
Speaker
You're now 21. You can't get this contract. yeah And I called him back. I was like, what do I do? And he's like, get an Option 40 contract, which is a Ranger contract. So I did that, went got in the Army, and...
00:10:14
Speaker
and know I was in a place physically too where like I couldn't do a pull-up coming out of high school. Like I was like well behind physically. And that was the first time like going into the army and knowing like I'm about to do the hardest possible thing in my life. yeah I need to start training, like training my ass off.
00:10:29
Speaker
And so that's when I got like very, very deeply involved and like obsessed with how do I get myself bigger and stronger? How do I become a better runner? How do I max this PT test to set myself up for success going into this thing? It's going to be the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. Yeah.
00:10:45
Speaker
And in that obsession, I fell in love with training as well. And so that was the beginning. That was like, how do I max push-ups? How do I max pull-ups? How do I max sit-ups? How do I max my
Balancing Jiu Jitsu and Traditional Workouts
00:10:55
Speaker
run?
00:10:55
Speaker
Got into the Army, went through basic, went through airborne, went to RASP, graduated through RASP, went to my unit, graduated Ranger school. And then once I had, probably actually like a month before Ranger school, I got into barbell training because once I was like in the unit, I was like,
00:11:09
Speaker
I'm done with push-ups. Where were you stationed? I was in Fort Benning, Georgia. Okay. Yeah, which is actually, they just changed the the name back. For like four or five years, they changed it. And I was like, what is this? And they changed it back. Yeah, brag two. Big W. Yeah. So um when I got there, I was like, okay, I'm done with push-ups instead of two. want to get big and strong. So I started barbell training, went to ranger school, lost it all. it Sounds about right. Because it was just like, you starve to death, basically. Yeah.
00:11:35
Speaker
Came back, got right back on you know the wagon, started training again, and literally since that day, or since pretty much going into the Army, being obsessed with training like then, like how do I max push-ups and sit-ups? I know this kind of a meandering story. That's how i from that day, like there hasn't been longer than probably, unless it was forced by Ranger School, like a a week where I haven't gone without training.
00:11:57
Speaker
i mean I just fell in love with it. just It became a passion of mine. And then... you know I was very blessed and grateful to have at the 3rd Ranger Battalion, we had just like dedicated professional strength coaches yeah who were there every morning for like our squad PT. You'd be doing a back squat or something, and they'd be like, your brace sucks. Stop doing this. like And we had coaching that was high level that was...
00:12:24
Speaker
I was able to put theory to practice. Did they write the program or did you come in and do what you want to do They would do both. So if you wanted to follow their specific programming, they would write it. You could just follow like your squad program, which honestly wasn't very good because it's your squad leader making up. yep But so what I would do is, and you know this is back when I made out of rubber. I'm 20, 21 years old. i would do squad PT in the morning, which is, you know, just like,
00:12:44
Speaker
kind of fatness mediocre strength conditioning with like hard like conditioning like pushing sleds and then I would come back after work at like 9 p.m at night and just do like starting strength yeah so I was training twice a day just beating the crap out of my body but you know like I was a beginner and beginner intermediate so I would just like Just ate training for breakfast. Yeah. It's so funny. Now everybody's so, and this is a tangent, but so everyone's so obsessed. And like, i I love this stuff too, but they're so obsessed with like, how do I recover? How do I balance? And I'm like, can I swear on this?
00:13:20
Speaker
ah We'll bleep it out. but F words are out. Okay. F words are out. I'll be like, MF-er. I used to get up at 4.30 in the morning, 5.30 in the morning on four hours of sleep. Do squad PT.
00:13:32
Speaker
Go to work all day. Do like react to contact drills, like carrying a rucksack, crawling through the grass, get off of work and then train. Like, I don't want to hear it. No, I don't want to hear it. i don't care. So like, I'll give you tools to like, you know, mitigate fatigue and like balance stuff. But dude, i don't want to hear it. Like at the end of the day, you just have to work your butt off.
00:13:55
Speaker
Yeah. and so back on topic, that's where I caught a lot of my early introduction to like, you know, the mechanics and the technique of lifting and like the tutelage of like real strength and conditioning coaches. Yeah. And then obviously I would go beyond that because I was obsessed with it. I would watch YouTube videos like back in the the golden era of YouTube, like the mid 2010s where it was like Mark Bell and like Ed Cohen and like that era of YouTube where actual information was on the internet. Yeah. And not just like short form rage bait. Yeah. Mountain Dog. There's some Yes. Yes, exactly. And i I would just, you know, I would be obsessed with that. I would watch hours and hours of that stuff. Yeah.
Training Programming for Combat Sports
00:14:34
Speaker
And yeah. To make my military career little summary, I deployed three times, went to Syria once, Afghanistan once, then back to Syria for my third one. And on my third deployment, I was watching podcasts, and that's when I discovered jiu-jitsu. Like I was just listening to a Joe Rogan podcast. He had my actual current coach on right now, John Banner, on the podcast.
00:14:55
Speaker
And he was talking about jujitsu in this very like hyper technical way. And I was like, Oh, this is very interesting. And I was like, when I get back, I'm training jujitsu, dude. It's like, I was kind of on my way out of the military, got back from the deployment, started training jujitsu. And since that day, I haven't stopped. and That was six years ago.
00:15:12
Speaker
Did you just find somewhere that was closest to you and start? it was on. So I was still at Fort Benning. I still had about four or five months left in the army. I just got home, went to the closest jujitsu gym, tiny little hole in the wall gym, threw on a gi and started doing jujitsu. And then we were also lucky enough that we had an on-base program of a couple of dudes that were like,
00:15:30
Speaker
you know, brown belts or so, they were good. And that's where we do nogi. So we do nogi like once or twice a week there. And I would train at the traditional school, like, you know, a couple times a week. And I was just, I just, that was my new passion. I just completely fell in love with that. And that's what also kind of started my early onset of realizing, like, I can't train in the gym the same way anymore. And I don't mean I have to do some functional stuff. I mean,
00:15:57
Speaker
The load management now, that picture has changed dramatically. I can't just throw a weight around in the gym and train six, seven times a week in jiu-jitsu and expect to make any progress. yeah So that's where like I really had to not just grind my head into the wall cheese grater style for training and had to figure out how do I do this smart. yeah So that's how kind of how that started. Time out. Coach, have you ever felt like your athletes shut down, tune out, or just too cool for coaching?
00:16:29
Speaker
You want them to listen. You shake them. You know this attitude and approach that they're taking with their training or their practice in front of you is not going to lead to success on the field or off the field later in life, and you have to change it.
00:16:44
Speaker
Athletes today are operating on a different internal system and we need to course correct on how our approach is going to land with them. And that's why I wrote the new course, Why They Won't Listen, Coaching Today's Athlete.
00:17:00
Speaker
If you want to learn more, head to listen.captainsandcoaches.com for this online course. If you want the first lesson free, see how I break down and combine whiteboard lecture and practical demos, movement-based lessons,
00:17:16
Speaker
that you can bring them to your practice and your training environments. Again, head to listen.captainsandcoaches.com to learn more and get that free lesson. And now, back to the show. Ready, ready, and break.
00:17:28
Speaker
And that's like strength and conditioning for a sport or versus strength and conditioning for yourself. Just, yeah, just like get big and strong. It's very similar, but the load management and the idea of like actually training around something that you're trying to do is very,
00:17:45
Speaker
um different in the mindset of how you approach it. You have to be really smart about it. yeah I really think if like you are dedicated and you have good nutrition and sleep and you're not doing a very intense sport, maybe you just you know walk or play pickleball, you can...
00:18:01
Speaker
go ham in the gym. yeah Like the low volume cult of science-based lifting of like, ah, fatigue demon. that I don't really think that matters unless you're doing something that's also physically really challenging. like I really think you can just go ham in the gym if that's all you're doing. yeah Because that's all you have to recover from is just that.
00:18:21
Speaker
And so, like I said, when I started doing jiu-jitsu, was like, oh, can't get away with that anymore yeah all right if you know that was a ton of stuff I just rambled two tracks I want to take want to stick with strength and conditioning while we're there so load management and in the army you had dedicated strength and conditioning professionals so you went from working out to now training yep and within training for jiu-jitsu What was that inspiration? Did you try to continue to go as hard as you did with your S&C coaches and then blow up, fail? Was it an injury? Was it just central nervous system? What was it the moment yeah where you needed to load manage? it just I just stopped progressing, like almost immediately. Within a few months, everything just stagnated completely. Like skill-wise, we're a weight room. Weights. Weights. I was still in a beat like very early stages of Jiu Jitsu, so every day there was a 1% plus improvement in skill work because it was just brand new and
The Importance of Strength in Jiu Jitsu
00:19:20
Speaker
you're just a sponge at that point. And I was lucky to be big and athletic and strong. you know I was 220 pounds when I started Jiu Jitsu.
00:19:27
Speaker
which is another topic that we can talk about is how ridiculously low jujitsu is on the totem pole of like athleticism that like you can kind of just walk in there as a big and strong guy with a little bit of coordination and do very well off the beginning because people just don't take it seriously in jujitsu, like your strength and conditioning. It's something that's not valued in jujitsu. Strength is looked down upon.
00:19:50
Speaker
um that's ah That's a whole other rabbit hole we can go into. But yeah, so like I just started stagnating at the gym and I was like, why is this happening? And I realized your body can only give adaptation to one thing maximally. And so if I'm still trying to do like five by five back squat with ah you know a buttload of accessories and then you know whatever I wanted to do, like i I couldn't do that anymore. So I really had to deep dive on like okay, how do i get enough stimulus? And this is my whole thing now. How do I get the highest return on investment for the lowest fatigue without sounding like a science-based fatigue demon fear monger?
00:20:35
Speaker
Basically like, what is the highest ah ROI with the smallest amount of input? And that's what made me like, re-continue progressing in the weight room as well as make it um sustainable with jujitsu. And I think that's really the key, in my opinion, for programming for combat sports is like, how do we get what we want from the weight room, bigger, stronger, faster, without interfering with the sport?
00:21:06
Speaker
So now within... traditional sports, we have seasonality of training, right? I have my summer yeah where I'm not allowed to touch a football according to NCAA or high school rules. so we can focus on not serving too many masters. We can get big, we can get strong. We can focus on our speed and our athleticism development And then we have practice. Yes. With jujitsu and training, there is no season. Yeah. Everything is everything. Yeah.
00:21:31
Speaker
So what is that mindset shift? How many days a week am I dedicated weight room? How many days am I skill? Or there any both days? it's So basically the methodology that I do now is just train all qualities in small doses. Yeah.
00:21:46
Speaker
For the the whole time. I would have a different ah philosophy and ideology around that if we did have off seasons. Because you could you know structure your training through like phases or periodization.
00:21:58
Speaker
But now what I found to be the most beneficial for literally you don't have an off season. You train five plus days a week in jiu-jitsu. um Not that I'm doing that right now because I'm just murked with coaching right now. But um I just found that like small dose GPP across the board.
00:22:16
Speaker
Like sprinkle some plyos, sprinkle some sprinting, sprinkle some jumping, general strength, and then have a gas tank and then just small dose that all that stuff. And do you split? So is it weight room, rest, and then jujitsu at night or vice versa? Yeah. Like the, in my opinion, the most optimal way to go about this is to lift first and obviously the rest of the stuff too. But I find that the nervous system, right? Being able to recruit motor units to actually lift,
00:22:43
Speaker
like max effort is best done prior to skill training because the skill training, especially in jujitsu is very muscularly taxing, but doesn't really create any meaningful adaptation.
00:22:56
Speaker
So it's like a fatigue bomb, but you don't get bigger and stronger from. So I find training prior to jujitsu is better. And there is an adaptation period where you will go into training a little bit more fatigued, but in the long run, you'll still be able to build skills and,
00:23:12
Speaker
Being a little weaker isn't the end of the world for your skill development. Now, when you reverse it, and I'd rather people do something than nothing. It's not that it kills it. But I find when you reverse it and you basically train jujitsu first, because the idea would be like, oh, well, jujitsu matters more than the weight room, which I agree with.
00:23:31
Speaker
If trying to be the best athlete, you do that, you fatigue bomb yourself, you carry that into your gym session, and now you have like 75% of the motor unit recruitment that you would get. And that, you know, if you're doing a 315 back squat, now that feels like the weight of the earth is on your back now because you just have fried yourself.
00:23:50
Speaker
um And so ideally, lift first, rest period in between, resaturate glycogen. This is where like nutrition is big for me.
00:24:01
Speaker
like Make sure you're bringing carbohydrates, intra and post-workout, and the same thing for jiu-jitsu, ideally, if you're having hard practices, intra and post-workout. Now that's ideal, that's optimal.
00:24:13
Speaker
i I don't think that's going to work for everybody, especially who, you know, the typical hobbyist in jiu-jitsu trains jiu-jitsu at like 5.30 p.m. So if you have to get off at work and go do jiu-jitsu, like, it's not going to happen probably unless you get up in the morning and do that. So there's obviously like,
00:24:30
Speaker
some tweaks that you could make for the average person. But if like you're a professional, I would recommend that you lift before. And then number of days like you were talking about, I think the sweet spot is three and four. That gives you enough, cause like here's the problem with two. I think two's okay. But the problem with two is you do have a lot of stuff to get done for like total human performance.
00:24:51
Speaker
And two really long sessions, in my opinion, is worse than just adding an extra day of going to the gym and giving yourself a little bit more of spreading that thinner.
00:25:02
Speaker
And that's why I like four as well. Instead of three medium sessions or like moderately high-end sessions, you can kind of like spread that over a little bit more and just make everything moderate on four. yeah And then there's also an ideology too that – playing around with of like hard session, easy session, hard session, easy session.
00:25:21
Speaker
So now you have full easy days, full easy days, full hard days, full hard days, which is also an interesting component of recovery too.
Resilience and Mindset in Training
00:25:28
Speaker
So there's a lot, there's a lot of play with, and a lot of it too is just like playing with the response and the feedback of the actual athlete. Like, is he like destroyed every day? Is he recovering from this? Is he progressing? That's what I fall back on every single time is the first one being the physiological adaptation. Are they progressing?
00:25:47
Speaker
And then the second one being mental adaptation. Are they stressed the heck out? Are they just getting beat up by training and they feel tired all the time? That's the issue too. So what would be some wellness checks if if an athlete's listening now that you would recommend? Because you felt those, you experienced those.
00:26:05
Speaker
And I mean, we won't even call it overtraining. You're just doing way too much. Yeah. So what would be some wellness checks for these guys listening? Okay, my my training needs to change. Yeah.
00:26:16
Speaker
I would say, like like I just said, physical and mental. Are you progressing? Is the adaptation of progressive overload being displayed in your in your training? Yeah. Because what people also forget is progressive overload is not something you do. Adding five pounds to the bar doesn't build muscle. It's the training session before that you get progressive overload from that in the next session, you're able to display putting extra weight on the bar.
00:26:38
Speaker
If you're able to do that, you're getting progressive overload adaptations being displayed in your training. That's a check mark. If that is not happening, and obviously you're not a beginner, you're not going to progress every session or every week. But if you go through a six week block and you don't add 10, 15 pounds to your lifts, something is seriously wrong.
00:26:54
Speaker
Second one, mental. Do you feel tired all the time? Are you stressed out? Does training just fry you where you feel like you're just carrying all this fatigue and tiredness and mental fatigue? Because also CNS fatigue and mental fatigue are different things. CNS fatigue actually clears relatively quickly within a few hours. But mental fatigue, like that afferent feedback of I'm tired, my knees hurt, my back hurts, I feel like crap, that afferent feedback is real and that's just being tired. And if that's happening a lot, I'm going caveat this by saying everyone that I've ever talked to that is a pro jiu-jitsu athlete that trains twice a day and does lifting three or four times a week, they are tired all the time.
00:27:35
Speaker
So some of this is a gut check. like You're a pro athlete. You're going to be tired. But what I really mean is like, is this sustainable? Like, do you feel like you can do this in the long term?
00:27:45
Speaker
And some part of that's grittiness. Part of that's not like one of the guys that just ah he just won Europeans brown belt. He's an IPF world champion in powerlifting for not like 180cc trials. His name Mark McQueen. He's a beast. He's a Scottish guy. When I went lifted with him, I was like, dude, when you train twice a day and you lift, like, are you tired? He's like, I'm tired all the time.
00:28:06
Speaker
Where's he based? know Scotland. Scotland? Yeah. yeah Any MCQs, I'm in. Yeah. I'm a McQuilkin, so. Oh, sweet. I'm a big fan already. Awesome. um So it's sticking with pros while we're there, now what would your guidance in the picture-perfect training camp, combining skill work and strength and conditioning, or maybe more so conditioning? Yeah. Because you've had success as well yeah on the mat at the highest level of competition. So I do want highlight that. Thank you. not just talking theory. Yeah, yeah. what was this Put into practice. What was the second-place finish? um So I did adult brown belt Nogi Worlds. So it's obviously it's one step below, like,
00:28:45
Speaker
the top 10, 15 guys in the entire world. So it's one step below that. um So I don't, it's hard to quantify what makes a professional athlete in jujitsu. Maybe that's semi-pro. I really don't care, but it's very, like,
00:28:58
Speaker
You showed up you had success. like Like white belt, blue belt, purple belt, Nogi World's like cool. But like brown belt world's like where it gets real, real. Like I went into that nervous. I was like, am I at this level? Like this is a serious, serious competition. And I got second there. And unfortunately, I'm going to mention this for my own ego. The guy that beat me, I beat six weeks prior.
00:29:16
Speaker
We have a rivalry. We're both two and two against each other. Ooh. That's the rubber match. yeah i I know. Hopefully soon. Hopefully soon. we want I talked to him about it, too. We're like, dude, we need to get paid for the next one, man. So hopefully soon. But when I was talking about optimal camp, right, I think it depends on the individual. Because you take a guy like Mark McQueen, who is an IPF world champion powerlifter.
00:29:43
Speaker
Does he need to do general strength training for a majority of his training or just maintain his level of like elite strength? Is him going from a, you know, 200 kilo bench press to a 205 kilo bench press going to create anything for him? No.
00:30:00
Speaker
But if he gets a sweet gas tank and he gets faster and more explosive, that's definitely going to, you know, make some serious adaptations. So I think you have to actually assess like, where are you lacking?
00:30:13
Speaker
if And I would say if you're watching this and you're just a regular jiu-jitsu athlete, and I don't want to offend you, but it's highly likely that you are weak. Because my experience training at multiple gyms across the United States, competing in jiu-jitsu competitions is jiu-jitsu guys, and they don't take strength conditioning very seriously.
00:30:32
Speaker
And on top of that, when they go into the gym, oh, excuse me. When they go into the gym, they don't strength train. They do like the goofy stuff. They major in the minors. They do like, you know, what we can only imagine is like functional fitness. The things that don't really create those meaningful, robust adaptations. Like I added 50 kilos to my back squat in the six months. Like that is a meaningful thing that's going to like, I hate the word translate, but that being stronger is going to translate. And they they they'll do like a kettlebell flow because they're like, this replicates positions in jiu-jitsu. And it's like, dude, you're weak.
00:31:11
Speaker
So if you're just like a jiu-jitsu guy watching this, and this was the ah literally the foundation of my channel in the beginning, lift weights and get strong, get a gas tank.
00:31:22
Speaker
That is 85 90% of the battle in my opinion. The rest of it is the sprinkles. It's the seasoning on the meat and potatoes. But there's a reason why the last hundred years, we've called it strength and conditioning. Because you got to get strong and you got to get conditioned. That's the battle.
00:31:39
Speaker
yeah Now it's important to also get faster, to be more explosive. But especially in jujitsu, this is a separate topic, right? Assessing the actual demands of the sport.
00:31:51
Speaker
We don't need to be very explosive. Like you might take one wrestling shot the entire time you're grappling. You might, i don't know, move fast for five to 10 seconds.
00:32:04
Speaker
But Isometric strength and being able to actually successfully hit your techniques against resistance strength will help and then that eight to ten minute match that you're having is going to take a gas tank. Yeah, so I would say for the most part if you're watching this I would focus on strength and conditioning nice. Yeah, right, and then they transitioning over to Dana her and training because a ah lot of the podcast we spend in that relationship between athlete and coach and
00:32:34
Speaker
and When you first got into Jiu Jitsu, you had instructors, you had professors, you can correct me when i'm wrong at any time, I'm not in the Jiu Jitsu community. So you had instructors, but then when did you start to notice that there's levels to this game of instruction? Oh, yeah. I knew that early on. So i very early on, like, I was watching instructional content, like video instructional content from like Gordon Ryan.
00:33:02
Speaker
who is John's best student, probably the best no-gi grappler of all time. They would make you know videos, they would sell those videos and that like just technique videos. And very early on, I realized like, oh man, there's levels, levels to grappling.
00:33:16
Speaker
And it's different than another sport in the way that you can be a technical expert in football. But if the 275-pound freak is cutting the corner on the defensive line, dude, it doesn't matter how good you are moving you know like your foot in the right spot. It doesn't matter. In jiu-jitsu, it matters, but a lot less, actually. It's one of the few sports that um knowledge has
Visualization and Self-Belief in Athletics
00:33:43
Speaker
a massive impact It's important to know like the plays for basketball and have ah you know court IQ, be able to read things in real time.
00:33:53
Speaker
But being ah and being a student of the game in any sport is important. But like actually knowing the correct... movements in jujitsu and being an expert at them moves the needle far more than many traditional sports because the demand on the athletic side of things is lower. We don't, you don't need to be a combine maxing athlete to be really good at jujitsu.
00:34:19
Speaker
And the return on investment for technique and skill is, in my opinion, really, really high. It's one of the few sports that smaller guys at like the highest level, ADCC, which is like the Olympics of our sport, they've we've had like 77 kilo athletes, which is like 175 pounds.
00:34:35
Speaker
beat by submission 250 pound guys. There was a famous run, this guy named Lachlan Giles out of Australia. He beat, I believe, three 99 kilos, so 220 pound plus athletes on his run to like a bronze medal in the open division.
00:34:53
Speaker
So where i When I ah realized how important knowledge is and I realized like there's levels to knowledge is when i knew like if I want to do jujitsu seriously, which brewed more the longer I was in jujitsu. Like the first year I was doing it for fun. I wanted to get good at it because I'm a competitive person. But then when I went to college in Arizona and I was going to school and also training a lot, I was like,
00:35:20
Speaker
Cause I kind of still have that thing in my mind of like, you know, I missed out in high school, like going to college, like play football or something. Like I can do, like, I'm a good athlete. i I'm six, three, 220 pounds. on I got this You know what I mean? Like I'm going to go do that. And so that's what kind of sparked inside of me. Like when I graduate, like I'm going to go find the spot.
00:35:39
Speaker
And when I graduated, I graduated with finance degree. I was like, okay, i have two options. I can go get a job in the financial world or... I can go do jujitsu professionally. And like any upstanding citizen, I decided to do the latter.
00:35:55
Speaker
So I moved Austin, Texas to try to do jujitsu professionally. Sweet. Yeah. And what was the what was the reach out to Danaher? Was it a fight club where you just showed up on his front porch? Oh, it's not that serious in jujitsu. okay You can just show up and sign up. Yeah, yeah. It's not that serious. Like it's not – I think there's like some old school MMA teams that kind of do that stuff. Like you basically have to like try out for the team. I know like in the early 2000s, there was teams that would like put you through like a like a test.
00:36:23
Speaker
Like they would just they basically smoke you like run sprints and do pushups and burpees and like a military thing almost. And if you make it through that, like you're on the team. But it ain't that serious in jujitsu. We're not that hardcore. It's it's a hobbyist sport. Like it's um it's mostly done by people who are who don't even know what the letters ADCC mean, right? They they don't care. yeah They're doing jujitsu because they get to put on a karate outfit and like grapple. It's fun. And, you know, you're practicing self-defense. You're getting good at grappling. So like it's just a fun thing to do. But it isn't taken super seriously in my opinion. And –
00:36:59
Speaker
Because of that too, combined with it's very boring to watch, it doesn't really have a spectator element to it. So i don't I don't really know how big it can get professionally because money won't enter it at the same rate that like the UFC will.
00:37:15
Speaker
Yeah. Because in the UFC... You go to a bar with your buddies, you can know nothing about fighting. But if you see Alex Pajara knock somebody out out cold, it's electric. It's amazing. Yeah. But in jiu-jitsu, you see that Lachlan Giles guy inside heel hook, the 99-kilo athlete, and you're like,
00:37:34
Speaker
What happened? what What happened? He grabbed his heel. So you don't know. yeah You actually have to be steeped in knowledge to truly appreciate like how much is going on. Yeah. And so.
00:37:44
Speaker
i went to live event, watched Gordon Ryan in an exhibition against the UFC fighter and he did the cowboy hat and everything. Yep. And it was exhibition, so it was like set time, and they were tapping.
00:37:58
Speaker
And I didn't have Joe Rogan tell me what was going on. I'm like, dude, I got no idea. I don't guess that's good. People are clapping. I clap. yeah I don't know. Yeah. That's grappling. Yeah. It's just one of those things. It's like you can tell kind of in the UFC because somebody's on top hitting somebody. But in jiu-jitsu, it's not very clear because the guarded position and the top player are equal of equal ah playing field in jiu-jitsu.
00:38:21
Speaker
Because there's not somebody trying to hit you in the face. Right. So those positions when scored are even. And most jujitsu takes place
Roman's Professional Jiu Jitsu Aspirations
00:38:30
Speaker
top player, like guarded player. And so that's where like the what is happening here kind of attitude of like somebody who doesn't know what's going on takes place. Yeah.
00:38:41
Speaker
So now you show up with Danaher and where did you communicate a goal with him, with coach, or did you have it internally and like, I'm going to see what this is all about. And then when did you express that goal to him? Yeah. I mean, it's not like I went out of my way to go talk to him. Like I just kind of showed up and started training. And then he noticed I was training a lot. And it's not like we have some like, you know, mentor student relationship. Like he's, he's my coach and he knows who I am, but it's not like I'm like one of his top students. I've done well in jujitsu, but it kind of goes to show how good his students really are. Right. Right. Like his like core group of like really high performers. Like I'm not a part of that. Like I'm man enough and don't have an ego enough to say like, I am not Gordon. I'm not Marigali. I'm not those guys. Like I'm not in that bracket yet. You know? Yeah. But when I was training, know, multiple times, not two times a day, maybe five, six times a week, he noticed I was coming a lot and he brought me over and he asked me like, what are your goals in jiu-jitsu? What are you looking to get out of this? And I told him, I want to be a professional athlete in the sport and everything. So training there for nine, 10 months, like that. I moved in January. It's about 12 months. Kind of culminated. I won a bunch of stuff, local competition, regional competition, moved up the ladder per se, medaled at major competitions. And it kind of culminated with that world's no-gi run where I showed up and I was like,
00:40:01
Speaker
Kind of my whole time in jiu-jitsu at purple and brown or blue belt, I kind of like have been at the high level. Like i'd go to the world no-gi tournaments and then like I'd get like a second or third round exit by like a small margin. Like ah got screwed over, which is everyone's favorite to say. The ref, you know, like that kind of stuff. Like I just wasn't there yet. I wasn't – I was good but I couldn't get over that that hump.
00:40:23
Speaker
And it kind of culminated with, you know, in December, last December, i I had murderers row from my side of the bracket as always. And the guy that beat me in the finals had like the little, the pansy side had to buy the first round as always. and so my first match, I had a G or excuse a G world champion,
00:40:44
Speaker
Beat him in like, you know, a minute by submission. I'm feeling great. I'm like, this is my time. Like, it's my time. I'm here to take over. Second match, guy who podiumed the last Worlds that previous year. Beat him in like a minute and a half. I'm like, I'm taking over, son. Third match, Mark McQueen.
00:41:02
Speaker
And razor close, beat I beat Mark McQueen. Okay, all right. And he, like, this is a guy that, Mark's better than me now. I'm like, I've been out half the year of the meniscus injury. Mark's head and shoulders above me now. But then he had just come off of winning ADCC trials. He was at ADCC, the Olympics of our sport. And i I go into this semifinal match like, this is my hardest match of the day. Not the guy on the other side of the bracket. This is the, like, I'm like. It's like USA Russia yeah in hockey. Yes. yeah And I'm like, this is where I will see if everything I've been working on this year, then like moving to Austin, Texas, like, am I there?
00:41:41
Speaker
And I remember when I was going against Mark, I was like, oh my God, I've never felt somebody so strong. And I just had this moment where I was thinking like, I have to go right now. I have to go. I have to shoot my shot or he's going to crush me and flatten me out. And I just, I sent it. I hit a move, like got to his back, picked him up.
00:42:03
Speaker
Matt returned him, took his back, scored my points. And I won the match. Razor close match though. Did he go the full time With the full distance. He ended up escaping that position, passing my guard. I stood up, we wrestled. it was very close. I barely beat him and it physically destroyed me. Like it was the hardest match I've ever had in my life. I was having like diaphragm, like o cramping.
00:42:23
Speaker
and ah And so I'm going into my finals match against the guy I'd beat like, you know, six weeks prior. And I'm like, I'm screwed right now, but like I beat this guy. Yeah. And I went out there on the map.
00:42:36
Speaker
Went out on my field. I lost. Damn. Just, it is what it is. You know what i mean? I went out there, I did my best, and I lost. Wasn't good enough that day. So, but what that did was it really solidified in my mind, like, I am at this level. I can do this.
00:42:52
Speaker
But unfortunately, i ah the entire year, I've been keeping it quiet. My knee was locking like every couple of days in training. Like it would literally just physically lock and I'd have to brutally pop it back into place. Yeah, we were talking about that at dinner. Yeah.
00:43:07
Speaker
and And so three days after I competed at Worlds, I went into surgery because I had no idea what it was. And they opened it up and they realized it was a meniscus tear. They closed me back up, woke me up, and they're like, you have a meniscus tear. We can repair it.
00:43:19
Speaker
Or the only thing we're going to do is repair it. I'm like, no, I want to take it out. I just got second at Worlds. I want to hit the ground running again. like, this is my year. Figuratively. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they were like, we're not doing that.
00:43:30
Speaker
So I had a back and forth for like six weeks with my surgeon. and I'm like, take it out. And he's like, that's medical male malpractice. I'm not doing that. Because it wasn't just like a bucket handle tear. It was tearing at the capsule. okay So they they weren't just like shaving it down or trimming it. They were removing the entire thing. And i was ready to go. I was like, I don't care. i will be in pain at 50 regardless.
00:43:51
Speaker
I've jumped out airplanes, fast-ropped out helicopters, carried a rock sack to the mountains. Like, I'm i'm screwed at 50. I don't care. Just take it out, dude. yeah And he didn't understand that. And so eventually I was like, okay, it's been six weeks and I need to like do something about this. So I just went through with the repair.
00:44:09
Speaker
And I was out. I was
Social Media Content Creation During Recovery
00:44:11
Speaker
sitting out. I didn't i couldn't do anything. you know i had moved to Austin, Texas to be a professional athlete and I can't do anything. I literally can't even do it. I'm bedridden basically for the first couple days. And I'm like, that was the darkest part of the whole journey. you know i have no job. I'm in Austin for jiu-jitsu and I can't even do that. I'm like, what do I do?
00:44:31
Speaker
And so I started posting on social media. Now we're here. yeah you know And it's been the craziest, it's been the craziest thing besides probably becoming a Ranger, which I think when I was a little kid, I never thought I had like the stones to do that until I went and did it.
00:44:48
Speaker
This is like second to that. It's like, damn. This is awesome. yeah There's obviously parts that suck. i mean, being a social media content creator is not the best thing in the world. than everybody It's so much more glorious and shiny on the outside. well that's that ideal. Yeah, and behind the scenes, like it's a lot of work and you deal with a lot, of especially me, a lot of hate, a lot of drama.
00:45:14
Speaker
I work literally from the moment I wake up to the moment I go to sleep. I have clients. I have to train heroic teams. I have to make content. I still have to go lift. I can go do jujitsu. I film that stuff. it's it's ah It's a lot. And I'm not complaining because I get paid to do what I love the most in the world, which is train and do jujitsu.
00:45:34
Speaker
But it's not that shiny. Yeah. Yeah, there are, and I still coach high school lacrosse. There are high schoolers that they set themselves up. That's what they want to do. They want to be a creator. Yeah.
00:45:47
Speaker
I'm still pushing them to go get degree. They should, yeah. Time out. Text here at Train Heroic headquarters meeting with the team to talk about the coaching experience that I'm able to provide for my athletes. So if you're a coach and want to put your program out there on an app that athletes actually enjoy using, Train Heroics for you. I've been using it since 2014. delivering literally over tens of thousands of workouts to athletes.
00:46:15
Speaker
And Train Heroic allows me to provide the unique coaching experience that I want to. Uploading video, providing coaching feedback, directions, and building a community, that's why I love Train Heroic. And if you want to take your athletes where they can't take themselves, that they want to go, head to trainheroic.com slash captains and check out how you can deliver programming to them.
00:46:37
Speaker
And now, back to the show. Ready, ready, and we're in.
00:46:43
Speaker
I want to stick with performance while we're in it yeah and just take us into the the mindset of a competition when you're live. So the flow state, the presence. Does training prepare you for that focus at the highest peak or is that something else that you then had to realize like, oh shit, I can't read and react like like I did in football? There is multiple components of competing in a combat sport where it's you're just out there by yourself on the mat in physical confrontation with another person.
00:47:15
Speaker
That is very similar to football or basketball. And there are some things that are extremely different. And I found that at my first competition. I was nervous like anybody would be to do compete something for the first time.
00:47:29
Speaker
But I walked out on the mat for the first time by myself with no team and the ref's like, are you ready? Are you ready? Go. And there was just tunnel white noise. ah Like just full blown adrenaline.
00:47:44
Speaker
Like I'd never had in jiu-jitsu or excuse me, a football or basketball because you're in physical. It's it's not just I'm smashing a new guy in front of me in football. It's you are in physical confrontation with a person that's trying to hurt you. And that's a different feeling than traditional sports. yeah And so there's a whole – there's a so many factors to go into kind of what you're talking about. I'll try to briefly go through some of them. Like the pre preamble to competing is the worst part because you – the week of, the day of, even month out, you kind of always have that like –
00:48:17
Speaker
thing in your belly, the little butterflies that rock in your stomach. Yeah. Am I
Teaching Resilience and Overcoming Criticism
00:48:21
Speaker
prepared? I'm about to go like, what if I lose? What if, what if, what if all that kind of stuff? Like, are you, are you good enough? Are you confident enough? All those things. And then the day of, right.
00:48:29
Speaker
Is excuse me, the same thing, but maxed up. Like it's, it's very, very high level stress. Obviously, MMA is far more than that because you're actually going to go in there and fight for your life. So jujitsu is like probably half or a quarter of that, but it's still a lot.
00:48:45
Speaker
And then what I find is i my brain goes through the same process. I go through the what ifs. I go through the horrible stuff like, I don't know about this. I'm nervous. And those what i those are what I call ah my little B thoughts.
00:48:59
Speaker
And I just accept that I'm going to have those. I'm going to feel at some points like I don't want to be here and I don't want to do this. But I know because I've done it enough and that that's the answer your question. You have to compete to to compete well. I know that I'm going to go through that. mine I know my brain is going to do the little little bitch thoughts. You know what i mean?
00:49:19
Speaker
And I know that it will end. and when And when they are over and I have a moment, then it's time to turn it on. And it's not amp myself up, it's focus.
00:49:32
Speaker
Think about all the things that I'm going to go out there and do and don't think so much about what that guy can do to me. It's mine. It's my fight. I'm gonna go out there and execute my game plan. I don't care about him.
00:49:44
Speaker
That's a human being standing across from me. If I cut off the blood to his brain, he will go unconscious like every other human being on planet Earth. He's a human being made out of flesh and blood. And so I go out there and think,
00:49:56
Speaker
It's my time. Time to focus. i'm I'm prepared for this. I've trained for this. It's just like any other day in the gym. That's how I think about going in. And then you're going to out there and you're going the exact same thing happen to you. At least it happens to me. Where somewhere in the middle, right, you you are that state of I am competing. But there will be points where you realize you catch your breath for a second. Maybe you're on your side or you've finished a move and you have that that feeling of – I don't know if I want to be here. Like, I don't know if I want to do this.
00:50:24
Speaker
And you accept, i have these thoughts, they'll pass, they're gone. Now it's time to refocus. yeah That does happen mid-match. That like, I don't know if I want to be here anymore. And you can let that crush you. And I've seen it in people. I've seen them wilt and and get crushed mentally. yeah Or you can decide that that's not going to be what's going to happen today. Because they're going to happen. right You just accept that they're going to happen and keep moving.
00:50:47
Speaker
And honestly, that's the same thing with everything I ever did in the military. It's like, I'm about to jump out of an airplane. I'm nervous. There's nothing you can do to not be nervous. It's not about not being nervous. It's just about going and doing it anyway.
00:50:57
Speaker
yeah And like if you want to make it like ah inspirational, if you really think about what being brave is, being brave is not being afraid. That's being dumb. Being brave is doing things in the face of being nervous.
00:51:10
Speaker
Like you ought you should be nervous to jump out of ah an airplane. yeah You should be nervous to go on a mission. When you step off of a helicopter, like you're going to be nervous. Just decide to do your job.
00:51:21
Speaker
That's why you're there. You've trained to do it. I like that. Yeah, that's great guidance and perspective. Like it's okay yeah to have that thought. Let's redirect and be assertive yeah and go back to our game plan.
00:51:33
Speaker
Let's sit with those little B thoughts. and In my mind, this is where I view internet hatred. yeah It's their little B thoughts that are trying to project it's exactly onto you. yep Now, was there a moment where you started to receive this negative hate where you listened? Or was it from the beginning, based off your life experience and all you've accomplished,
00:51:56
Speaker
I'm not going to worry about that. If I had just done jujitsu and lifted weights, right? I had just like lifted weights, gotten strong and went and did jujitsu. And I'm like saying my opinions loud and proud on the internet and people would like try to attack me for them. I would probably feel a lot less...
00:52:14
Speaker
like I had an a suit of armor on to like, I don't care about this. But because, and I've done things that I'm extremely proud of that I've done in my life and accomplished at both a high level of physical achievement and like mental grit achievement.
00:52:30
Speaker
I, i ah and it's probably a narcissistic mindset, but it's like, I am better than you. Like I, your, ah your opinion doesn't matter to me. Like when I, when, when some like kettlebell dude living in his camper makes fun of me, I just giggle and laugh. I'm like, dude, we're not on the same level.
00:52:48
Speaker
Like I don't look at you and think you're my peer. Darn it. Poop. You made fun of me. I'm like, I'm a beast. And like I said, it's narcissistic. It is. But it's like, dude, I'm a stud.
00:52:59
Speaker
I don't care what you say. I know. I know what I believe in. I know who I am. Now, if somebody who I highly, highly respect and has accomplished in their field comes to me and they go, I think you're wrong, I'll sit down and listen to them.
00:53:10
Speaker
I'll hear them out because they might have something that I want from their mind or something that I respect about what they've done. And I go, I can listen to you. I can hear you out. There might be something that I can learn from you. It's not like I have this closed mind. It's just when I look at somebody who's like a little hater or somebody that sends me some mean DM, do I think, would I come to you for advice?
00:53:32
Speaker
Why would I take your opinion seriously? If I wouldn't ask you for it, why would you unsolicited giving it to me matter to me? Like, why why would that matter to me? Do I get a comment or something that makes me mad? I'm like, ah this is stupid. Of course.
00:53:46
Speaker
But do I get a comment and go, my self-worth, oh, that one really got to me. It's like, no, dude. you're ah you're an insect. You're an ankle biter.
00:53:56
Speaker
You know what I mean? like It's like ah when I see the like guy who beat me at Worlds, like he's kind of my rival. When I see him lose a competition that I didn't go sign up for, i don't think, ha, ha, ha, you lost. Right.
00:54:10
Speaker
Because I didn't sign up. I didn't have the nuts to go sign up. I don't think, ha, ha, you lost. That's a hater mentality. Right. That's a loser mentality. Now, if you i go if I go and sign up for the same competition and I beat him,
00:54:23
Speaker
different But if I watch him, if I watch somebody stumble to try to achieve greatness, I watch somebody stumble or fall trying to do something great. I don't go, a because that's a loser. Yeah. Yeah.
00:54:39
Speaker
Yeah. So now aiming to to teach and imagine you're in this mentor role with younger athletes, speaking to high schoolers,
Viewing Failure as a Stepping Stone to Success
00:54:48
Speaker
particularly. What would your guidance for them to not listen to little B, one, the little B thoughts, and two, the the little B beliefs that other people are trying to to to put them down, right? Crabs in a bucket. Yep. And it sounds like from me now, in the position that I'm in, like, oh, it's so easy for you to say that.
00:55:07
Speaker
There was so many times in my life where I've been in that position. every Every success I've ever had in my life has come from a place of failure. When i i I went to college for a semester before I joined the army, I dropped out. I was a failure in life.
00:55:19
Speaker
And what what did I do instead of feel sorry for myself, like decide like, I guess I'm just a loser. I just went and tried to do something great instead. yeah I failed and then I did something great.
00:55:30
Speaker
So when you are in a position where you feel like people are saying that stuff to you or you feel like, you know, their opinions matter, just realize or you fail at something. You go and lose a competition. You go and lose your lacrosse game. You lose a football game.
00:55:44
Speaker
Just realize that failure is only the end. It's only important if that's where it ends. yeah Failure is just a stopping point. It's not the end point. Failure is only the end point if you decide it is.
00:55:56
Speaker
the Like the last time that you decide to get up or the last time you decide not to get up, that's when you're down. You know what i mean? Everything I've ever done comes from a place of failure. It's just that's what it is.
00:56:07
Speaker
Everything great I've ever done, I should say, has come from a place of failure. Man, that that's powerful and aiming to give that perspective to them. And I want to highlight, I wouldn't call it narcissistic because you're still open to learning. Yeah.
00:56:21
Speaker
And I would frame that as you're you're acting as if. Yeah. And that's who you know yourself to be and you're acting like that person. So if somebody is trying to be that crab dragging you down, yeah why why am I going to listen? Yeah.
00:56:35
Speaker
Just know who you are. You know who you are. Believe. it's like it's like you know It's a corny thing to like believe in yourself. But what I'm saying is like be the person that you want to be. That's it. It's as simple as that. like If you think that you are the like side character, the NPC character, the person who's like kind of part of the story, then that's going to be ingrained in your own mind.
00:56:55
Speaker
And I think it's like looked down upon to have these like egotistical thoughts. But if you believe it's like I'm going to be the main character of my story, Why is that bad? You should think like that. Because in a sport like, so like jujitsu or m MMA, if you go in there not thinking that you are the greatest of all time, if you go in there not believing that you are great, you are really, really talented.
00:57:18
Speaker
What is, what is, what is like, how's that going to suit? Like, how's that going to improve your performance? If you go in there thinking, believing those little thoughts in the back your head, like, oh, what if I'm not good enough? It's going to directly translate into your performance. And the best way that I can make this as a simple thing of what I'm saying is if you're going go do like a heavy squat or something and you think in your mind, like, i don't know if I can do this. I don't know. And you get under the bar and you're like, hi i don't believe it. Or you're envisioning yourself failing. You're going fail.
00:57:47
Speaker
One of the most powerful, and this is like the most low level competition. One of the most powerful things that ever happened to me in athletic performance is I was in seventh grade and I was doing high jump at like a local like high school, you know, like track.
00:58:04
Speaker
And i i don have no idea what the bar was at, but it was higher than I'd ever jumped. I had just done a personal best and they were like, we're moving up. who's Who's moving up? And I'm like, I'm moving up. And I was nervous. And I was like, there's no way I'm getting over that bar. There's no, I've never jumped higher than that. There's no way.
00:58:20
Speaker
And there is a parent, never talked to him before, sitting on the fence, like with his arms over the fence. And he goes, hey, come here. And I was like, who the heck is this guy? And I walked over there and he gave me some of the greatest advice I've ever gotten. And he goes, I want you to envision yourself going over the bar.
00:58:39
Speaker
Now go do it. And I hit it. I did not believe that I was going to do it before that. I've envisioned myself doing it and I did it. Yeah. And that is kind of corny. It's the like, believe, achieve, that kind of stuff.
Visualization in Competition and Training Programs
00:58:53
Speaker
It's the envision yourself, put, you know, you got to visualize, visualize, but there's something to be said and you have to believe in yourself before you can actually go and do that thing. Mm-hmm.
00:59:04
Speaker
And I think there's a lot of power to that. Have you stuck with visualization practice after that? I think maybe not so much like visualization, but more thinking about the game plan. It's about what you're going to do. It's not about what can happen.
00:59:19
Speaker
Think about the game plan. What do we go like? what Why are we here? What are we here to do? Whether that be the military or jujitsu, it's like the game plan is what matters. It's not the out like the outcomes. It's not the what ifs.
00:59:31
Speaker
You should have contingencies. you know like You should study your opponent and know what is he good at, what can he do. But that isn't the focus of your mind. You are there to dictate what's going on.
00:59:43
Speaker
You're in the driver's seat. Yeah, I like that. Yeah. Yeah. I just learned about the MPC term. Yeah. a video game reference. Yeah. Yeah. And I was I was up in Jersey earlier this week teaching a clinic and the the host, he brought it up and i'm like, ah you got to explain this to me.
01:00:02
Speaker
And then I went down a rabbit hole after our dinner conversation and then I was sitting in the hotel eating breakfast. on a Tuesday in nowhere New Jersey and there's all these people in suits like getting ready to go to work and presentation that clearly traveled there and I was like am I an MPC are they MPCs am I real because they're they're going to present and I could see them like practicing their presentation while they're zoning in to I mean we're in the middle nowhere yeah and they're gonna present to somebody that doesn't give a crap about them yeah but then I'm like
01:00:37
Speaker
Am I an NPC? I'm just a coach moving all these people along. Am I a character in these people's story? But then I ah flipped it like, well, no, I'm gonna po i'm a force multiplier. yeah I am a character that matters because these guys going telling stories about me for days. yeah Whether it's sticky notes, hilarious stories, there yeah or just somebody that said something this one time that was believing them. And they can talk about it on a podcast X amount of years later. Exactly. So i I willed myself out of that whole worry. That guy. i don't even know his name. i don't know what parent it was. I'll always remember that. Yeah.
01:01:12
Speaker
Yeah. Sweet. Well, i i I want to wrap this up and and do want to give you an opportunity to plug your training program. sure. For sure. So we got specific to jujitsu and then passion of bodybuilding. Yes. Where can people go to follow and get get lined up yeah for success? So ah my short form Instagram and TikTok are very easy, Roman Jiu Jitsu.
01:01:34
Speaker
And I have a YouTube, Roman Mori. That's just my full name. So those are the platforms you can find where i create my content. And then on all of those platforms as well, I have a link tree that you can join. you know My training programs, hit me up for one-on-one coaching. I do combat sports performance. They're called training teams. So you can get on there. I drop new programming every, you know, mesocycle probably around every six weeks. um And then, yeah, if you want to like talk me about like actually working with me one-on-one, same thing. I have little application form on there too. I'll get in contact with you. Sweet. And Austin, Texas based. Austin, Texas based. Sweet. Well, I appreciate you making the drive. Thank you for having me. Yeah, it was fun. conversations, a lot of notes.
01:02:14
Speaker
Thank you for tuning in. That does it for another episode. Captain's the Coach's Podcast. Nice. Sweet, dude. Awesome. That was great. Yeah. um Yeah, great flow. I know you handle it naturally. I'm ah i'm a ranter.